CHAPTER VIIIOn Cycling
Ordinance: Every foot passenger will carry a visible number and will ring a bell on approaching a cycler. Riding and driving strictly forbidden.
Cycler (passing a carriage on the road):—“And still there are cabs—to-day, when the cycle rules the world! They are a funny sight!... Of course an old woman is in it; who else would use one of those antediluvian vehicles?”
(Half an hour later, he and his wheel have been picked up by the occupant of that carriage, both badly bruised and battered):—“What luck, that this cab came along! I wonder how I would have gotten home without it!”
Lady (on her wheel, meeting the HerrFörster, an acquaintance):—“Please, Herr Förster, in what direction does Lahnberg lie? I am riding there to meet my husband who is on his new wheel.”
“Lahnberg lies about two miles from here on the road to the right—your husband lies to the left.”
A:—“How is your wife?”
B:—“I see her very seldom now.”
A:—“Why, how is that?”
B:—“Well, you see, she always sits behind me on the tandem.”
Piano repairer:—“It’s strange that every week a pedal gets broken on this piano.”
Footman:—“It’s because our young lady rides a wheel all day.”
(Two wheelmen, one of whom is a beginner, pass each other.)
A:—“I see you are getting on very well!”
B:—“Oh yes, for so short a time, I—(falls from his wheel)—you know, my friend, I ought not to talk yet!”
Policeman (to a cycler):—“In this street cycling is forbidden; get off at once!”
Cycler:—“My name is Meyer, policeman, and I live Tulpenplatz 277. Send for the fine—but don’t make me look ridiculous before all these people. I can neither mount nor get off by myself; I can only ride.”
Waitress (calling into the kitchen at a country tavern):—“For the gentleman vegetarian a little green fodder, and for his steel horse a drop of oil!”
Papa (bringing his wheel in):—“Come here, wifey, and bring all the children! Now, all of you open your mouths wide, I am going to open the pneumatic tubes, that I filled on the Arlberg with delicious mountain air for you!”
A:—“Who is that gentleman in that sporty costume?”
B:—“That is a teacher of cycling.”
A:—“Oh, a sort of velocipedagogue.”