Those who shirk home responsibilities are wanting in animportant element of social well-being. They may indulge themselves in social pleasures, but their pleasures are superficial and result in disappointment later in life. The occupations of men sometimes call them from their homes; but the thought of home-coming is always an inspiration to well doing and devotion. When women abandon the home and its duties, the case is a more deplorable one. The evil effects are not confined to the mother alone. The children are robbed of a sacred right, and their love is bereft of its rallying place around the hearthstone. The strongest attachments of childhood are those that cluster about the home, and the dearest memories of old age are those that call up the associations of youth and its happy surroundings.
The disposition among the Saints to be moving about ought to be discouraged. If communities must swarm, let the young go, and let the old homes be transmitted from generation to generation, and let the home be erected with the thought that it is to be a family abiding place from one generation to another, that it is to be a monument to its founder and an inheritance of all that is sacred and dear in home life. Let it be the Mecca to which an ever-increasing posterity may make its pilgrimage. The home, a stable and pure home, is the highest guaranty of social stability and permanence in government.
A Latter-day Saint who has no ambition to establish a home and give it permanency has not a full conception of a sacred duty the gospel imposes upon him. It may be necessary at times to change our abode; but a change should never be made for light or trivial reasons, nor to satisfy a restless spirit. Whenever homes are built the thought of permanency should always be present. Many of the Saints live in parts of the country that are less productive than others, that possess few natural attractions, yet they cherish their homes and their surroundings, and the more substantial men and women of such communities are the lastto abandon them. There is no substitute in wealth or in ambition for the home. Its influence is a prime necessity for man's happiness and well-being.—Juvenile Instructor,Vol. 38, pp. 145, 146, March 1, 1903.
WORSHIP IN THE HOME. We have in the gospel the truth. If that is the case, and I bear my testimony that so it is, then it is worth our every effort to understand the truth, each for himself, and to impart it in spirit and practice to our children. Far too many risk their children's spiritual guidance to chance, or to others rather than to themselves, and think that organizations suffice for religious training. Our temporal bodies would soon become emaciated, if we fed them only once a week, or twice, as some of us are in the habit of feeding our spiritual and religious bodies. Our material concerns would be less thriving, if we looked after them only two hours a week, as some people seem to do with their spiritual affairs, especially if we in addition contented ourselves, as some do in religious matters, to let others look after them.
No; on the other hand, this should be done every day, and in the home, by precept, teaching and example. Brethren, there is too little religious devotion, love and fear of God, in the home; too much worldliness, selfishness, indifference and lack of reverence in the family, or these never would exist so abundantly on the outside. Then, the home is what needs reforming. Try today, and tomorrow, to make a change in your home by praying twice a day with your family; call on your children and your wife to pray with you. Ask a blessing upon every meal you eat. Spend ten minutes in reading a chapter from the words of the Lord in the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, before you retire, or before you go to your daily toil. Feed your spiritual selves at home, as well as in public places. Let love, and peace, and the Spirit of the Lord, kindness, charity, sacrifice for others, abound in your families.Banish harsh words, envyings, hatreds, evil speaking, obscene language and innuendo, blasphemy, and let the Spirit of God take possession of your hearts. Teach to your children these things, in spirit and power, sustained and strengthened by personal practice. Let them see that you are earnest, and practice what you preach. Do not let your children out to specialists in these things, but teach them by your own precept and example, by your own fireside. Be a specialist yourself in the truth. Let our meetings, schools and organizations, instead of being our only or leading teachers, be supplements to our teachings and training in the home. Not one child in a hundred would go astray, if the home environment, example and training, were in harmony with the truth in the gospel of Christ, as revealed and taught to the Latter-day Saints. Fathers and mothers, you are largely to blame for the infidelity and indifference of your children. You can remedy the evil by earnest worship, example, training and discipline, in the home.—Improvement Era,Vol. 7, Dec., 1904, p. 135.
THE BASIS OF A TRUE HOME. A home is not a home in the eye of the gospel, unless there dwell perfect confidence and love between the husband and the wife. Home is a place of order, love, union, rest, confidence, and absolute trust; where the breath of suspicion of infidelity can not enter; where the woman an the man each have implicit confidence in each other's honor and virtue.—Second Sunday School Convention.
THE IDEAL HOME. What then is an ideal home—model home, such as it should be the ambition of the Latter-day Saints to build; such as a young man starting out in life should wish to erect for himself? And the answer came to me: It is one in which all worldly considerations are secondary. One in which the father is devoted to the family with which God has blessed him, counting them of first importance,and in which they in turn permit him to live in their hearts. One in which there is confidence, union, love, sacred devotion between father and mother and children and parents. One in which the mother takes every pleasure in her children, supported by the father—all being moral, pure, God-fearing. As the tree is judged by its fruit, so also do we judge the home by the children. In the ideal home true parents rear loving, thoughtful children, loyal to the death, to father and mother and home! In it there is the religious spirit, for both parents and children have faith in God, and their practices are in conformity with that faith; the members are free from the vices and contaminations of the world, are pure in morals, having upright hearts beyond bribes and temptations, ranging high in the exalted standards of manhood and womanhood. Peace, order, and contentment reign in the hearts of the inmates—let them be rich or poor, in things material. There are no vain regrets; no expressions of discontent against father, from the boys and girls, in which they complain: "If we only had this or that, or were like this family or that, or could do like so and so!"—complaints that have caused fathers many uncertain steps, dim eyes, restless nights, and untold anxiety. In their place is the loving thoughtfulness to mother and father by which the boys and girls work with a will and a determination to carry some of the burden that the parents have staggered under these many years. There is the kiss for mother, the caress for father, the thought that they have sacrificed their own hopes and ambitions, their strength, even life itself to their children—there is gratitude in payment for all that has been given them!
In the ideal home the soul is not starved, neither are the growth and expansion of the finer sentiments paralyzed for the coarse and sensual pleasures. The main aim is not to heap up material wealth, which generally draws further and further from the true, the ideal, the spiritual life; but it israther to create soul—wealth, consciousness of noble achievement, an outflow of love and helpfulness.
It is not costly paintings, tapestries, priceless bric-a-brac, various ornaments, costly furniture, fields, herds, houses and lands which constitute the ideal home, nor yet the social enjoyments and ease so tenaciously sought by many; but it is rather beauty of soul, cultivated, loving, faithful, true spirits; hands that help and hearts that sympathize; love that seeks not its own, thoughts and acts that touch our lives to finer issues—these lie at the foundation of the ideal home.—Improvement Era,Vol. 8, 1904-05, pp. 385-388.
FOUNDATION OF ALL GOOD IN HOME. The very foundation of the kingdom of God, of righteousness, of progress, of development, of eternal life and eternal increase in the kingdom of God, is laid in the divinely ordained home; and there should be no difficulty in holding in the highest reverence and exalted thought, the home, if it can be built upon the principles of purity, of true affection, of righteousness and justice. The man and his wife who have perfect confidence in each other, and who determine to follow the laws of God in their lives and fulfil the measure of their mission in the earth, would not be, and could never be, contented without the home. Their hearts, their feelings, their minds, their desires would naturally trend toward the building of a home and family and of a kingdom of their own; to the laying of the foundation of eternal increase and power, glory, exaltation and dominion, worlds without end.—Juvenile Instructor,Vol. 51, p. 739.
SECURE HOMES. In my judgment it would be prudence and wisdom for the young people to secure lands near the homes of their parents and near the body of the Church, where they can have the advantage of Sunday schools and the gatherings of the Saints, and in so doing they will be building for themselves, instead of permitting the stranger to come in and take the lands—strangers with whom in many instanceswe could not affiliate. We all know there are classes who come in here who up to date have not proved desirable neighbors to affiliate with, and it is just as well for our own young people to stay in the land of their birth and build them homes. I will say that we do not approve of the disposition of some to go afar off where life, property and liberty are not safe. We wish them to remain together, so that if it is necessary or desirable that the Saints should colonize, they might do it in order.
I do not want to be understood as saying or thinking that one little state is big enough to contain all the young people, and I think it is wisdom and necessary for the Latter-day Saints to take every advantage in this respect that is possible. I think our young people should get homes in Utah, Idaho, Wyoming and Colorado—in our own state and in adjoining states—in blessed America, under this grand and glorious government where life and property, and the liberties of men are safe and protected, where mob violence and revolutionary spirit do not stalk forth as in some countries of the world.
Another thing. In the old times an effort was made to co-operate and combine together and establish home industries for the production of the things that were needful for consumption of the people and to produce a revenue as well. Today we have allowed the home industry spirit to perish almost from amongst us, and we do not witness the same loyalty among the people to those things which are produced at home that there should be. There are too many people who would rather patronize some "cheap John" and buy shoddy goods, just because they can get them a few pence cheaper, than to sustain home industry, and get all wool and a yard wide. We should not encourage foreign capital to the exclusion of our own, and patronize foreign labor against our own, but we should build up our home institutions.—From a Sermon,given in Logan, April 7, 1910.
OWN YOUR HOMES. It was early the rule among the Latter-day Saints to have the lands so divided that every family could have a spot of ground which could be called theirs; and it has been the proud boast of this people that among them were more home owners than among any other people of like numbers. This condition had a good tendency, and whatever men said of us, the home among this people was a first consideration. It is this love of home that has made the Saints famous as colonizers, builders of settlements, and redeemers of the deserts. But in the cities there appears now to be coming into vogue the idea that renting is the thing. Of course, it may be necessary as a temporary makeshift, but no young couple should ever settle down with the idea that such a condition, as far as they are concerned, shall be permanent. Every young man should have an ambition to possess his own home. It is better for him, for his family, for society, for the state, and for the Church. Nothing so engenders stability, strength, power, patriotism, fidelity to country and to God as the owning of a home—a spot of earth that you and your children can call yours. And besides, there are so many tender virtues that grow with such ownership that the government of a family is made doubly easy thereby.
Let us continue, as a people, to be unlike the world in this regard. I hope the Saints will ever be a home owning people, and never become roamers, roomers and renters. We should no more follow the prevailing notions in this than in some other things. The people of Zion have a higher destiny than being led by the nose, as it were, by the prevailing whims. We do not purpose being led by evil tendencies, but rather glory in being leaders ourselves in all that makes for the welfare and happiness of the home, the advancement of the Church, the prosperity of the state.—Improvement Era,Aug., 1904, Vol. 7, p. 796.
DO NOT MORTGAGE YOUR HOMES. Whenever a paniccomes, or there is severe financial depression because of monetary conditions, the people have before them a painful object lesson on the evils of mortgaging, especially of their homes and places of business.
Men owe it to their wives and children to be prudent and conservative when business considerations touch the home, and it is doubtful whether they really have a moral right to expose helpless wives and children to the mercies of the money lender. The evils are too abundantly manifest to permit of mortgaging homes that should be sacred to the needs of those who are dependent upon them.
The Latter-day Saints have often been warned and are now earnestly admonished not to hazard their homes, and with them their wives and children, upon the altar of financial speculations.
What was taught in the early days of our history in this intermountain region is equally true today, and it is the duty of every Latter-day Saint, so far as it is possible, to own his home, to possess an earthly inheritance. It has been our pride that among the people of all the world nowhere can a greater percentage be found of those who have title to the homes in which they live. Instead of declining year by year in the total number of homes owned by the Latter-day Saints of Salt Lake City, and other large cities, there should be an increase. The matter of the Saints possessing title to their homes is something more than a question of whether it pays best to rent or to own. It is a question of vital importance to our future position, and relative strength in a land to which by every rule of equity and prudence we are entitled. There is a virtue and an assurance and a certainty in the ownership of one's home that are never felt by those who are shifting from place to place without any landed possession. The influence upon child life that comes from the possession and ownership of the family home is of itself a sufficient reason to guard it against the repeated evilsof mortgaging. The Latter-day Saints owe it to themselves and they owe it to their God to be steadfast in the possession of the lands to which they hold titles, either by purchase or settlement. The evil of mortgaging homes to eastern firms, to men and companies who have no other motive than to secure their pound of flesh, is growing among the people, and especially among those in the larger cities. Against such evils the people have in the past been abundantly warned. If necessity compels the husband to place a mortgage upon the home, let it come, if possible, through a friend and not through those who may be the enemies of the people. If the Latter-day Saints will give heed to the prudent admonitions and lessons of the past, they will hesitate in the presence of the alluring temptations which are now everywhere held out, to mortgage their homes, their places of business, the canals, and the farms, for the means with which to speculate and grow rich. It is to be hoped, therefore, that where the Saints have mortgages upon their homes they will be persistent in their endeavors to remove them, and they are advised to keep intact and beyond menace the titles to their lands.
The admonitions here given are directed especially to those disposed to mortgage for the purpose of speculation, and not to those who may find it necessary through building societies or otherwise to secure homes by monthly or other periodical payments. The latter practice may lead to economic habits, while speculations too frequently create a spirit of extravagance.—Juvenile Instructor,Vol. 36, pp. 722-723.
EVILS OF MORTGAGING. What a blessed condition would result in Zion if the evil of going into debt, of mortgaging the home, could be made very clear to every Latter-day Saint, young and old! Well, indeed, would it be if some of the burdens of the mortgage and its accompanying sorrows, could be felt and understood by every man who has in contemplation the pawning of his home and land for money—thathe might comprehend its slavery and terror—as thoroughly prior to the deed as he is sure to feel it after. In that event, he might be warned in time to avoid the fatal step, and awake as from a horrid dream to rejoice in his deliverance. With few exceptions mortgages on private property end in disaster to the giver. * * * What should we think of men who would jeopardize the position and place of the people of Zion! The land of Zion is an inheritance, and every man who mortgages his part of that inheritance places in jeopardy the land, thus not only disinheriting himself, but committing a crime against the whole community and the intelligence and wisdom that should characterize every true Latter-day Saint. The result of such action is appalling, and its contemplation something fearful to every lover of the people of God, the more so when one possesses a knowledge of how widespread is the evil.
Mortgaging, then, looked upon in its true light, is not only a private burden and detriment, in which a man's family is thrown out of house and home, and his own abilities, happiness and talents are destroyed or sadly diminished, but it is positively a public crime in a community like ours. Disposing of inheritances in Zion partakes of the nature of such action as individuals pulling up and selling for money the gold bricks from the streets of the Celestial City. It is intolerable, when looked upon in the right light! The old proverb: "Who goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing," and "Lying rides on debt's back," should appeal directly to every man who contemplates mortgaging. But if personal appeal is not strong enough, let him remember that his home or farm is likely to go for half of its value to satisfy his debt, and that his family who depend upon him will be left without adequate shelter and support. But if neither reason is strong enough to hold him back, let him remember Zion and his inheritance therein, and let her cause cry aloud to him to bring him to a realizing sense of the triple crime that he isabout to commit, in order that his hand may be stayed, and he saved the humiliation, worry, anxiety and sorrow that must inevitably overtake him, unless he repent.—Improvement Era,Dec., 1901, Vol. 5, p. 147.
OUR FIRST DUTY TO OUR HOUSEHOLD. I want to tell you that we will be honest with you; we feel that it is the first duty of Latter-day Saints to take care of themselves and of their poor; and then, if we can extend it to others, and as wide and as far as we can extend charity and assistance to others that are not members of the Church, we feel that it is our duty to do it. But first look after the members of our own household. The man who will not provide for his own house, as one of old has said, is worse than an infidel.—Apr. C. R.,1915, p. 10.
UNCHASTITY, A DOMINANT EVIL. The character of a community or a nation is the sum of the individual qualities of its component members. To say so is to voice at once an ordinary platitude and an axiom of profound import. The stability of a material structure depends upon the integrity of its several parts and the maintenance of a proper correlation of the units in harmony with the laws of forces. The same may be said of institutions, systems, and organizations in general.
Not alone is it fundamentally proper and in strict accord with both the spirit and the letter of the Divine Word, but absolutely essential to the stability of the social order that the marriage relation shall be defined and regulated by secular law. Parties to the marriage contract must be definitely invested with the responsibilities of the status they assume; and for fidelity to their obligations they are answerable to each other, to society, and to their God.
Sexual union is lawful in wedlock, and if participated in with right intent is honorable and sanctifying. But without the bonds of marriage, sexual indulgence is a debasing sin, abominable in the sight of Deity.
Infidelity to marriage vows is a fruitful source of divorce, with its long train of attendant evils, not the least of which are the shame and dishonor inflicted on unfortunate though innocent children. The dreadful effects of adultery cannot be confined to the erring participants. Whether openly known or partly concealed under the cloak of guilty secrecy, the results are potent in evil influence. The immortal spirits that come to earth to tabernacle in bodies of flesh have the right to be well born, through parents who are free from the contamination of sexual vice.
It is a deplorable fact that society persists in holding women to stricter account than men in the matter of sexual offense. What shadow of excuse, not to speak of justification, can be found for this outrageous and cowardly discrimination? Can moral defilement be any the less filthy and pestilential in man than in woman? Is a male leper less to be shunned for fear of contagion than a woman similarly stricken?
So far as woman sins it is inevitable that she shall suffer, for retribution is sure, whether it be immediate or deferred. But in so far as man's injustice inflicts upon her the consequence of his offenses, he stands convicted of multiple guilt. And man is largely responsible for the sins against decency and virtue, the burden of which is too often fastened upon the weaker participant in the crime. The frightful prevalence of prostitution, and the tolerance and even condonation with which the foul traffic is treated by so-called civilized society, are black blots on the pages of current history. * * *
Like many bodily diseases, sexual crime drags with itself a train of other ills. As the physical effects of drunkenness entail the deterioration of tissue, and disturbance of vital functions, and so render the body receptive to any distemper to which it may be exposed, and at the same time lower the powers of resistance even to fatal deficiency, sodoes unchastity expose the soul to divers spiritual maladies, and rob it of both resistance and recuperative ability. The adulterous generation of Christ's day were deaf to the voice of truth, and through their diseased state of mind and heart, sought after signs and preferred empty fable to the message of salvation.
We accept without reservation or qualification the affirmation of Deity, through an ancient Nephite prophet: "For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts." (Jacob 2:28.)
We hold that sexual sin is second only to the shedding of innocent blood in the category of personal crimes; and that the adulterer shall have no part in the exaltation of the blessed.
We proclaim as the word of the Lord: "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
"He that looketh on a woman to lust after her, or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they shall not have the Spirit, but shall deny the faith."—Improvement Era,June, 1918, Vol. 20, p. 738; Doc. and Cov. 63:16.
DEGREES OF SEXUAL SIN. There are said to be more shades of green than of any other color, so also we are of the opinion there are more grades or degrees of sin associated with the improper relationship of the sexes than of any other wrongdoing of which we have knowledge. They all involve a grave offense—the sin against chastity, but in numerous instances this sin is intensified by the breaking of sacred covenants, to which is sometimes added deceit, intimidation or actual violence.
Much as all these sins are to be denounced and deplored, we can ourselves see a difference both in intent and consequence between the offense of a young couple who, being betrothed, in an unguarded moment, without premeditationfall into sin, and that of the man, who having entered into holy places and made sacred covenants, plots to rob the wife of his neighbor of her virtue either by cunning or force, and accomplishes his vile intent.
Not only is there a difference in these wrongs, judging from the standpoint of intent, but also from that of the consequences. In the first instance the young couple who have transgressed can make partial amends by sincere repentance and by marrying. One reparation, however, they cannot make. They cannot restore the respect that they previously held for each other; and too often as a consequence of this loss of confidence their married life is clouded or embittered by the fear that each has for the other, having once sinned, may do so again. In the other case, others are most disastrously involved, families are broken up, misery is forced upon innocent parties, society is affected, doubt is thrown upon the paternity of children, and from the standpoint of gospel ordinances, the question of descent is clouded and pedigrees become worthless; altogether, wrongs are committed both to the living and the dead, as well as to the yet unborn, which it is out of the power of the offenders to repair or make right.
Sometimes an argument is advanced to limit the provisions of the law of God, as given in the book of Doctrine and Covenants, both with regard to punishment and to forgiveness to those who have entered the House of the Lord and received their endowments. This is not possible, as so many of these provisions were given in revelations published several years before the Saints were permitted to receive these holy ordinances, indeed, before any temple was built. The law as given, we believe to be general, applying to all the Saints. But undoubtedly when, in addition to the actual offense against the laws of chastity, covenants are broken, then the punishment for the double offense will, either in this life or that which is to come, be correspondingly greaterand more severe.—Juvenile Instructor,Nov. 15, 1902, Vol. 37, p. 688.
PURITY. There is something in man, an essential part of his mind, which recalls the events of the past, and the words that we have spoken on various occasions. Words which we spoke in our childhood we can readily bring to mind. Words that we heard others speak in our infancy, we can recall, though we may be advanced in years. We recall words that were spoken in our youth and in our early manhood, as well as words that were spoken yesterday. May I say to you that in reality a man cannot forget anything? He may have a lapse of memory; he may not be able to recall at the moment a thing that he knows, or words that he, has spoken; he may not have the power at his will to call up these events and words; but let God Almighty touch the mainspring of the memory, and awaken recollection, and you will find then that you have not even forgotten a single idle word that you have spoken. I believe the word of God to be true, and therefore, I warn the youth of Zion, as well as those who are advanced in years, to beware of saying wicked things, of speaking evil, and taking in vain the name of sacred things and sacred beings. Guard your words, that you may not offend even man, much less offend God.
We believe that God lives, and that he is a judge of the quick and the dead. We believe that his eye is upon the world, and that he beholds his groveling, erring and weak children upon this earth. We believe that we are here by his design, and not by choice; that we are here to fulfil a destiny, and not to fulfil a whim, or for the gratification of mortal lusts. We believe that we are immortal beings. We believe in the resurrection of the dead, and that as Jesus came forth from the grave to everlasting life, his Spirit and body uniting again never more to be separated, so has he opened the way for every son and daughter of Adam,whether living or dead, to come forth from the grave to a newness of life, to become immortal souls, body and spirit, united, never to be severed any more. We raise our voices against prostitution, and against all forms of immorality. We are not here to practice immorality of any kind. Above all things, sexual immorality is most heinous in the sight of God. It is on a par with murder itself, and God Almighty fixed the penalty of the murderer at death: "Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed." Furthermore, he said that whosoever committed adultery should be put to death. Therefore, we raise our voices against sexual immorality, and against all manner of obscenity.
Then, we say to you who have repented of your sins, who have been buried with Christ in baptism, who have been raised from the liquid grave to newness of life, born of the water and of the Spirit, and who have been made the children of the Father, heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ—we say to you, if you will observe the laws of God, and cease to do evil, cease to be obscene, cease to be immoral, sexually or otherwise, cease to be profane, cease to be infidel, and have faith in God, believe in the truth and receive it, and be honest before God and man, that you will be set up on high, and God will put you at the head, just as sure as you observe these commandments. Whoso will keep the commandments of God, no matter whether it be you or any other people, they will rise and not fall, they will lead and not follow, they will go upward and not downward. God will exalt them and magnify them before the nations of the earth, and he will set the seal of his approval upon them, will name them as his own. This is my testimony to you.—Improvement Era,Vol. 6, p. 501, May, 1903.
THREE THREATENING DANGERS. There are at least three dangers that threaten the Church within, and the authorities need to awaken to the fact that the people should bewarned unceasingly against them. As I see these, they are flattery of prominent men in the world, false educational ideas, and sexual impurity.
But the third subject mentioned—personal purity, is perhaps of greater importance than either of the other two. We believe in one standard of morality for men and women. If purity of life is neglected, all other dangers set in upon us like the rivers of waters when the flood gates are opened.—Improvement Era,Vol. 17, No. 5, p. 476. March, 1914.
THE GOSPEL THE GREATEST THING. One of the most important duties devolving upon the Latter-day Saints is the proper training and rearing of their children in the faith of the gospel. The gospel is the greatest thing in all the world. There is nothing to compare with it. The possessions of this earth are of no consequence when compared with the blessings of the gospel. Naked we came into the world, and naked we will go out of the world, so far as earthly things are concerned; for we must leave them behind; but the eternal possessions which are ours through obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ do not perish—the ties that God has created between me and those whom he has given to me, and the divine authority which I enjoy through the holy priesthood, these are mine throughout all eternity. No power but sin, the transgression of the laws of God, can take them from me. All these things are mine, even after I leave this probation.—Improvement Era,Vol. 21, pp. 102, 103, December, 1917.
DUTY OF HUSBAND TO WIFE. If there is any man who ought to merit the curse of Almighty God it is the man who neglects the mother of his child, the wife of his bosom, the one who has made sacrifice of her very life, over and over again for him and his children. That is, of course, assuming that the wife is a pure and faithful mother and wife.—Improvement Era,Vol. 21, p. 105, December, 1917.
WIVES AND HUSBANDS IN ETERNITY. We expect tohave our wives and husbands in eternity. We expect our children will acknowledge us as their fathers and mothers in eternity. I expect this: I look for nothing else. Without it I could not be happy. The thought or belief that I should be denied this privilege hereafter would make me miserable from this moment. I never could be happy again without the hope that I shall enjoy the society of my wives and children in eternity. If I had not this hope, I should be of all men most unhappy; "for if in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." All who have tasted of the influence of the Spirit of God, and have had awakened within them a hope of eternal life, cannot be happy unless they continue to drink of that fountain until they are satisfied, and it is the only fountain at which they can drink and be satisfied.—Deseret Weekly News,Vol. 33, p. 131, 1884.
IMPORTANCE OF FILIAL AFFECTION. Do not add to their burdens by neglect, by extravagance or by misconduct. Rather suffer that your right hand be cut off, or your eye plucked out than that you would bring sorrow or anguish to your parents because of your neglect of filial affection to them. So children, remember your parents. After they have nurtured you through the tender years of your infancy and childhood, after they have fed and clothed and educated you, after having given you a bed to rest upon and done all in their power for your good, don't you neglect them when they become feeble and are bowed down with the weight of their years. Don't you leave them, but settle down near them, and do all in your power to minister to their comfort and well-being.—Improvement Era,Vol. 21, p. 105, December, 1917.
FAMILY GOVERNMENT BY LOVE. I learned in my childhood, as most children, probably, have learned, more or less at least, that no love in all the world can equal the love of a true mother.
I did not think in those days, and still I am at a loss to know, how it would be possible for anyone to love her children more truly than did my mother. I have felt sometimes, how could even the Father love his children more than my mother loved her children? It was life to me; it was strength; it was encouragement; it was love that begat love or liking in myself. I knew she loved me with all her heart. She loved her children with all her soul. She would toil and labor and sacrifice herself day and night, for the temporal comforts and blessings that she could meagerly give, through the results of her own labors, to her children. There was no sacrifice of self—of her own time, of her leisure or pleasure, or opportunities for rest—that was considered for a moment, when it was compared with her duty and her love to her children.
When I was fifteen years of age, and called to go to a foreign country to preach the gospel—or to learn how, and to learn it for myself—the strongest anchor that was fixed in my life, and that helped to hold my ambition and my desire steady, to bring me upon a level and keep me straight, was that love which I knew she had for me who bore me into the world.
Only a little boy, not matured at all in judgment, without the advantage of education, thrown in the midst of the greatest allurements and temptations that it was possible for any boy or any man to be subjected to—and yet, whenever these temptations became most alluring and most tempting to me, the first thought that arose in my soul was this: Remember the love of your mother. Remember how she strove for your welfare. Remember how willing she was to sacrifice her life for your good. Remember what she taught you in your childhood and how she insisted upon your reading the New Testament—the only book, except a few little school books, that we had in the family, or that was within reach of us at that time. This feeling toward my mother becamea defense, a barrier between me and temptation, so that I could turn aside from temptation and sin by the help of the Lord and the love begotten in my soul, toward her whom I knew loved me more than anybody else in all the world, and more than any other living being could love me.
A wife may love her husband, but it is different to that of the love of mother to her child. The true mother, the mother who has the fear of God and the love of truth in her soul, would never hide from danger or evil and leave her child exposed to it. But as natural as it is for the sparks to fly upward, as natural as it is to breathe the breath of life, if there were danger coming to her child, she would step between the child and that danger; she would defend her child to the uttermost. Her life would be nothing in the balance, in comparison with the life of her child. That is the love of true motherhood for children.
Her love for her husband would be different, for if danger should come to him, as natural as it would be for her to step between her child and danger, instead, her disposition would be to step behind her husband for protection, and that is the difference between the love of mother for children and the love of wife for husband—there is a great difference between the two.
I have learned to place a high estimate upon the love of mother. I have often said, and will repeat it, that the love of a true mother comes nearer being like the love of God than any other kind of love. The father may love his children, too; and next to the love that the mother feels for her child, unquestionably and rightfully, too, comes the love that the father feels for his child. But, as it has been illustrated here by Brother Edward H. Anderson, the love of the father is of a different character, or degree, to the love of the mother for her child; illustrated by the fact he related here of having the privilege of working with his boy, having him in his presence, becoming more intimate with him, learninghis characteristics more clearly; becoming more familiar and more closely related to him; the result of which was that his love for his boy increased, and the love of the boy increased for his father, for the same reason, merely because of that closer association. So the child learns to love his mother best, as a rule, when the mother is good, wise, prudent, and intelligent, because the child is with her more, they are more familiar with each other and understand each other better.
Now, this is the thought that I desire to express: Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! and prove to them that you do love them by your every word or act to them. For your own sake, for the love that should exist between you and—your boys however wayward they might be, or one or the other might be, when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly; get them down and weep with them if necessary and get them to shed tears with you if possible. Soften their hearts; get them to feel tenderly toward you. Use no lash and no violence, but argue, or rather reason—approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. With these means, if you cannot gain your boys and your girls, they will prove to be reprobate to you; and there will be no means left in the world by which you can win them to yourselves. But, get them to feel as you feel, have interest in the things in which you take interest, to love the gospel as you love it, to love one another as you love them; to love their parents as the parents love the children. You can't do it any other way. You can't do it by unkindness; you cannot do it by driving; our children are like we are; we couldn't be driven; we can't be driven now. We are like some other animals that we know of inthe world. You can coax them; you can lead them, by holding out inducements to them, and by speaking kindly to them, but you can't drive them; they won't be driven. We won't be driven. Men are not in the habit of being driven; they are not made that way.
This is not the way that God intended, in the beginning, to deal with his children—by force. It is all free love, free grace. The poet expressed it in these words:
"Know this, that every soul is free,To choose his life and what he'll be;For this eternal truth is given,That God will force no man to heaven."
"Know this, that every soul is free,To choose his life and what he'll be;For this eternal truth is given,That God will force no man to heaven."
You can't force your boys, nor your girls into heaven. You may force them to hell, by using harsh means in the efforts to make them good, when you yourselves are not as good as you should be. The man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in anger, is in the greatest fault; he is more to be pitied and more to be condemned than the child who has done wrong. You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason.
When I was a child, somewhat a wayward, disobedient little boy—not that I was wilfully disobedient, but I would forget what I ought to do; I would go off with playful boys and be absent when I should have been at home, and I would forget to do things I was asked to do. Then I would go home, feel guilty, know that I was guilty, that I had neglected my duty and that I deserved punishment.
On one occasion I had done something that was not just right, and my mother said to me: "Now, Joseph, if you do that again I shall have to whip you." Well, time went on, and by and by, I forgot it, and I did something similar again; and this is the one thing that I admired more, perhaps, than any secondary thing in her; it was that when shemade a promise she kept it. She never made a promise, that I know of, that she did not keep.
Well, I was called to account. She said: "Now, I told you. You knew that if you did this I would have to whip you, for I said I would. I must do it. I do not want to do it. It hurts me worse than it does you, but I must whip you."
Well, she had a little rawhide, already there, and while she was talking or reasoning with me, showing me how much I deserved it and how painful it was to her, to inflict the punishment I deserved, I had only one thought and that was: "For goodness' sake whip me; do not reason with me," for I felt the lash of her just criticism and admonition a thousand fold worse than I did the switch. I felt as if, when she laid the lash on me, I had at least partly paid my debt and had answered for my wrong doing. Her reasoning cut me down into the quick; it made me feel sorry to the very core!
I could have endured a hundred lashes with the rawhide better than I could endure a ten-minutes' talk in which I felt and was made to feel that the punishment inflicted upon me was painful to her that I loved—punishment upon my own mother!—Extracts from an address given at a "Home Evening" meeting in Granite Stake, 1909.Improvement Era,Vol. 13, pp. 276-280.
THE HOME AND THE CHILD. But what are we doing in our homes to train our children; what to enlighten them? What to encourage them to make home their place of amusement, and a place where they may invite their friends for study or entertainment? Have we good books, games, music, and well-lighted, well-ventilated, warm rooms for their convenience and pleasure? Do we take personal interest in them and in their affairs? Are we providing them with the physical knowledge, the mental food, the healthful exercise, and the spiritual purification, that will enablethem to become pure and robust in body, intelligent and honorable citizens, faithful and loyal Latter-day Saints?
We frequently neglect giving them any information concerning their bodily well-being. In our cities we appear to be providing our young people too much mental exercise, and no physical diversion and work, while in our country settlements, we seem to be overburdening them with bodily labor, and in many cases doing little or nothing for their mental development and recreation. Hence, in the one case they seek forbidden places and pleasure, on account of too much mental exercise; and in another, because of too little.
Now then, are we studying their wants as we do our business, and our farms and our animals? Are we looking after them, and if necessary bringing them in from the street when absent, and providing them in our homes with what they lack? Or are we to a great extent neglecting these things in the home and home training, and considering our children of secondary value to horses and cattle and lands?
These are important points for consideration, and fathers and mothers should honestly study them, and as honestly answer them to their own satisfaction. We may well invest means in the home for the comfort, convenience, entertainment and training of our children. We may well give our sons and daughters some time for recreation and diversion, and some provision in the home for satisfying their longing for legitimate physical and mental recreation, to which every child is entitled, and which he will seek in the street or in objectionable places, if it is not provided in the home. In addition to this, and supplementary to the training in the home, it is to be hoped that our organizations will as soon as possible provide every arrangement for legitimate entertainment and recreation, physical and intellectual, that will tend to attract our young people, and hold them interested, loyal and contented within the pale of our own influence and organizations.—Imp. Era,Vol. 11, pp. 302-3, 1907-8.