——"SupprestWith a death-bed sensation a blasphemous jest,"
——"SupprestWith a death-bed sensation a blasphemous jest,"
"Fleas arenotlobsters—d—n their souls!"
But another question has lately come up. A little girl, of the Buffalo tribe, wants to know if fleas arewhite; "cauth untle teld her that Mary had a little lamb withfleasas white as snow."
Another.—A charity scholar—perhaps one of the Ragged School—on being asked, after an examination in the Psalms, "What was the Pestilence that walketh in darkness?" answered,—"Bed bugth, thir!"—Not so much out of the way, after all; since fleas onlyhopin darkness.
No. 283.Cross-examination.—Says a neighbor, "Wife was undressing a little four-year-old—Charley—the other evening. After he was set free, he began to feel of his fat, chubby arms, with manifest self-complacency; and looking up into his mother's face, he said, 'Mamma, who made me?'"
"'The Good Man away up in the sky,'" said mamma.
"Whereupon Charley grew thoughtful, and after looking up through the tree-tops into the clear blue starlit sky for a few minutes, added, 'But, mamma, who took me down?'"
No. 284.A Broad Hint.—There was an aged country clergyman, who found so little time for study, that when fairly at work, he wouldn't allow his grandchildren to romp in the passage, or play hide-and-seek, or leap-frog in the study—the monster!
"Ma," said one of these little fellows, who had been snubbed for riotous behavior one day, "I say, Ma,"—she had just been telling him about heaven—"I say, Ma, I don't want to go to heaven." "Don't want to go to heaven, Georgie!" "No, Ma, I'm sure I don't." "And why not?" "Why, gran'pa will be there, won't he?" "Why yes—I hope so." "Well—jest as soon as he sees us, he'll come scoldin' along, and say,—'Whew—whew—whew! What are these boys here for?'"
No. 285.Patronage.—"I say, dad—have you been to the Museum yet?" said a young American of ten. "No, my son." "Well, jest you go, and mention my name to the door-keeper, an' he'll take you round and show you everything."
No. 286.Childish Cunning.—"A child who is good at excuses is seldom good for anything else," quoth Franklin. A naughty little chap, says a contemporary, went blubbering into the back-yard, because his mother wouldn't allow him to go down to the river on the Sabbath. On being further remonstrated with, he said, "But, mamma, I didn't want to go in a-swimmin' with 'em; I only wanted to go down an' see the bad little boys drown, for goin' in a-swimmin' on a Sunday—boo-hoo, boo-hoo!"
No. 287.Childish Trust.—The following illustration of the passage, "Whosoever shall not receive the Kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein," will, I am sure, be thankfully received.
As the train stopped, a gentleman who had been seriously engaged in conversation with another, who had a little boy with him, said to the child, after bidding the father farewell—"Good-by, Charley; take care of yourself."
"My father will take care of me," said the boy, with a look of unquestioning trust.
No. 288.What shall we pray for?—A child of seven had been packed to bed quite early for something rather serious. At the usual hour of bed-time, her mother sat down by the bed-side to read prayers for the day. "Mamma," said the little one, "please read the prayer for persons in affliction."
No. 289.A Poser.—"Well then—who took care of the babies?" asked a little girl, on hearing her mother say that all people were once children.
No. 290.Another Poser.—Aunt Bessie had been laboring with Master Jack, to persuade him to go to bed at set of sun; urging for his consideration that the dear little chickens always went to roost at that time. "Yes, auntie—I know that—but then the old hen always goes with 'em!"
No. 291.A reasonable Being.—"Halloa, mamma! halloa there!" shouted the angel of the household, from the top of the garret stairs, "I'm mad as fire—and Hannah won't pacify me."
No. 292.Mind your Pronunciation.—A gentlewoman of Belfast, Ireland, was questioning a child in a charity school, about what the wife of a king, and the wife of an emperor were called; and then she added for their encouragement, "And now what is the wife of a duke called?"—"A drake! a drake!" shouted half a dozen little voices.
No. 293.Foresight, Sagacity, and Thrift.—Little Master Jemmy began to save the change that fell in his way at a very early age, in the hope of being a rich man, like Messrs A., B., and C., who rode in their carriages, or "swung on the gate" all day long, with "alittle morefat pork," after their wishes had been granted for "asmuch fat pork as they could eat."
One morning, at breakfast, when he was about gobbling the last mouthful, his aunt informed him, that during the night a pair of babies had been added to the family, already consisting of three beside Jemmy.
The boy dropped his knife and fork, and sung out,—"Good gracious, Aunt Mary! if father and mother keep on at this rate, there won't be fifty dollars a-piece for us!"
Children's notions of theology, 1, 2, 13, 14, 22, 48, 70, 72, 132, 134, 166, 168, 178, 265, 283.
Children's notions of the Bible, 2, 39, 41, 148, 149, 163, 174, 228.
Children's notions of heaven, 4, 19, 88, 101, 119, 145, 215, 224, 230, 238, 239, 265, 284.
Lessons for teachers, 2, 4, 5, 31, 43, 47, 66.
Children's notions of praying, 6, 11, 37, 42, 98, 118, 155, 161, 163, 166, 187, 254, 288.
Their notions of language, 7, 10, 15, 21, 120, 121, 153, 194, 251.
Their honesty, 2, 8, 12, 17, 78, 115, 119, 122, 125, 137, 195, 243, 257, 271, 274.
Their ideas of another world, 25, 30, 38, 127, 144, 193, 242, 270.
Their instincts, 16, 18, 27, 28, 31, 44, 69, 76, 80, 90, 108, 118, 141, 144, 167, 181, 263.
Their philosophy, 21, 163, 165, 183, 203.
Their politics, 23, 214, 254.
Their Sunday-school exercises, 22, 26, 31, 43, 47, 66, 142, 156, 164, 165, 187, 195, 205, 241, 266, 277, 280, 282.
Their imitation, 28, 85, 105, 146, 176, 181, 192, 204, 212, 219, 222, 232, 240.
Their selfishness, 29, 40, 79, 87, 116, 150, 151, 243, 267.
Their quibbles, 33, 67, 80, 231, 245, 286.
Their misapprehension of words, 2, 35, 112, 120, 121, 160, 223, 252, 264, 276, 282.
Their puzzling questions, 24, 72, 160, 178, 253, 268.
Their cunning, 33, 45, 46, 51, 73, 79, 82, 92, 106, 224, 228, 130, 134, 139, 158, 163, 169, 172, 202, 206, 259, 260, 273, 279, 286.
Their unselfishness, 49, 50.
Their foresight, 52, 90, 102, 188, 208.
Their self-complacency, 54, 71, 77.
Their metaphysics, 1, 72, 74, 96, 162, 170, 261.
Their explanations, 84, 95, 123, 130, 156, 183, 196, 246, 262, 282.
Their adroitness, 85, 89, 99, 103, 105, 122, 124, 125, 147, 152.
Their speculations, 90, 100, 109, 140, 180, 210, 275.
Their business qualities, 91.
Their naturalness, 93, 110, 114, 180, 181, 189, 201, 218, 220, 263, 272, 274, 291.
Their faith, 98, 177, 287.
Their influence, 115, 285.
Their misapplication of words, 1, 48, 148, 162, 225.
Retribution, 128.
Example, 129, 267, 268.
A great mystery, 133, 217.
An etymologist, 136.
Their literalness, 134, 229, 235, 256, 268, 269, 277, 278, 279.
Their definitions, 156, 184, 257, 261, 262.
Their protestantism, 189, 190.
Their smartness, 197.SeeCunning, 201, 240, 250, 264, 269, 289.
Their constructiveness, 198.
Yankee notions, 1, 199.
Their pluckiness, 216, 237, 247, 255.
Total depravity, 227.
Where mother is, 230, 287.
Their poetry, 230, 234, 270.
Liberty of Speech, 259, 260.