(Clock chimes half hour. A moment afterEvelynhas gone off, she presumably switches off lights in room offC.--then third border is put out and no light except glow from fire remains. The doors remain wide open.)
Raleigh. Half past ten! I thought Colonel Vavasour's train left at ten, Miss Faraday.
Celia. (Confused) Oh, did it?
Smith. (Coolly) Well, didn't it? And in any case, Mr. Faraday's clock is wrong.
Steele. (Taking out his watch) Wrong? Not a bit of it.
Raleigh. (Also takes out his watch) I make it ten thirty-two. (Ironically) Perhaps your watch will correct me, Colonel Vavasour.
Smith. (CrossesR.C.Absent-mindedly feels for his watch and starts as he realizes his mistake.Celiasees this and the true situation flashes on her. She swings up stage for a moment to cover her shock and embarrassment and then returns and facesSmith,as she leans against the chairL.of table.RaleighandSteelehave turned to each other and are discussing the situation, for the moment ignoringCeliaandSmith.AsCeliafacesSmith,he flounders through his explanation) Well, you see, I--I--I--I--I left my watch in town to be cleaned. It ran too fast.
Celia. (Sarcastically) Like the inventive genius of its owner, perhaps, and your scarf pin; no doubt, you've taken advantage of this period of mourning to have all your jewelry attended to. (Turns awayR.)
Page 85"Green Stockings"Page85
Smith. Miss Faraday, please----
Celia. (Turning back) Colonel Vavasour, I think you said your name was. You will allow me, won't you, to lend you the watch you so kindly brought from poor Colonel Smith. Otherwise, you know, you might be a very long time without your own, and since your grief must now be lessened, by having shared it with me, perhaps you might be induced to mitigate your mourning and wear his pin. Do let me send them to you. And I'll include a little nursery fable which perhaps you know, called, "The Tortoise and the Hare," because I think--I've caught up. Now, I'll say good-night to you, Colonel Vavasour, and good-bye.
Smith. (Seriously) Good-bye?
Celia. (Moving toC.and speaking toRaleigh) There is a midnight train to town?
Raleigh. Oh, yes.
Celia. (ToSmith) I'm quite sure that Mr. Steele and Mr. Raleigh will be happy to drop you at the station on their way home.
Steele. Delighted!
Celia. (ToRaleigh,shaking hands) So sorry to hurry you away.
Raleigh. Oh, I shall see you to-morrow, Miss Faraday.
Celia. Yes, do. (Nods good-night toSteele.)
Aunt Ida. (Who is still at desk, her head resting wearily on her hands. Sleepily) Everybody going?
Celia. (CrossesL.) Yes, dear, ColonelVavasouris. (Crosses toAunt Ida.)
Smith. Is there nothing left unsaid? Is there nothing left for me to say but good-bye?
Celia. (Over her shoulder) Nothing.
Smith. (Bows. Speaks in a brisk, matter-of-fact way, as he crossesC.D.) Well, since you two fellows are kind enough to offer me a lift. (Exits, followed byRaleighandSteele,who go off, chatting ad lib. and closing door.)
(WARN Electrician for lights out.)
Celia. (Tearing off her black shawl, waving it in the air, and throwing herself in the chairL.of table, her back to the audience, disclosing her gay and decollete bodice) Oh--h-h-h-h! Oh--h-h-h-h! Oh--h-h-h-h! Oh--h-h-h-h!
Aunt Ida. (Going toCelia) Celia, what have you been up to now?
Celia. Oh, when I think of it, Aunt Ida! "The Arab dhows riding at their anchors," and how I told him---- Oh, Heavens--how I told him he ought to marry. Oh--h-h-h-h! Oh--h-h-h-h!
Aunt Ida. Celia Faraday! (Goes up to her and catches her by both shoulders) Are you mad? I vow I've a great mind to shake you.
Celia. I wish you would, Aunt Ida. I wish you would. (Looking toward doorR.) I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I don't believe what I do believe. For Heaven's sake, dear, go and fetch me the army list, so that I may make sure of what an awful fool I've been, and if what I believe is true, let me sit like this in the dark. (Goes up and presses switch and sits in chairL.of door. Lights out.) --All the rest of my life and blush and blush and blush until my cheeks drop off from blushing.
(Aunt IdacomesL.ofCelia'schair. There is only the moonlight now in the morning room, with a shaft of moonlight shining through windowR.onCelia.The library, seen through the wide open doors, is lit up by the glow from the fire.)
Aunt Ida. Are you mad? (Starts to exit to get army list. SeesSmithand draws awayR.) Hush--sh-sh-sh!
(Smithin an ulster is seen to cross cautiously at back to table. He lights two or three matches at once and looks through book-slide for army list. Finding this, he takes it and smiles in a satisfied manner, and holding the match to the list, moves off stageR.CeliaandAunt Idapeer after him. A flicker is seen on the walls and furniture of the room off stage, as of the book burning. After a pause,Celiarises and standsC.in doorway, facing audience.)
Celia. The army list!
Aunt Ida. Nowhe'sthrown the army list into the fire. (Ready motor horn.) Celia--has Colonel Vavasour gone mad too?
Celia. So! He thinks he can prevent my finding out, does he? That I can't be absolutely sure until to-morrow? Well (Rushes offR.)
Aunt Ida. Perhaps we are all mad--mad as hatters. (GoesR.and presses light switch.)
(LIGHTS Up.)
Celia. (Off stage) Army lists don't burn as suddenly as that, I know. (At door) I have burned too many of them. (Reappears, carrying the partly burned army list in tongs. She comes in blowing at the burning book) Blow, Aunt Ida, blow! (Aunt Idajoins her. They both blow to put out the sparks.) Only the A's are burnt, Aunt Ida, only the A's. (Goes downL.of table, drops book on table, and hands the tongs toAunt Ida.)
Aunt Ida. (Waving the tongs) Only the A's! Ha! Ha! Only the A's!
(Motor horn is heard offR.3.)
Celia. What's that, Aunt Ida, what's that?
Aunt Ida. It's Mr. Raleigh's motor.
Celia. (With an outburst of relief) Well, then, he's gone, isn't he, he's gone.
Aunt Ida. Yes, he's gone, he's gone!
Celia. (Picks up book and runs through it) V-V-V-V-V-- Vallance--Valpey--Vanderfeldt--Varley--not a Vavasour.
Aunt Ida. Celia!
Celia. (Throwing down book) Not one in the whole army list. No? Not the tiniest little bit of a one.
Aunt Ida. (Flourishing tongs more wildly) Then who is he? What did he come here for?
Celia. I don't know, but he's gone now, isn't he?He's gone!
Aunt Ida. I know he's gone, but what did he come here for? (Celialooks at her. A light breaks over her.) Celia Faraday! That man--had your letter--in his pocket. He told Phyllis he had your letter! I thought it strange! Then Colonel Vavasour isn't Colonel Vavasour. (SitsR.ofC.table.)
Celia. No!
Aunt Ida.He's Colonel Smith.
Celia. Yes.
Aunt Ida. He's----
Celia. (In the smallest possible voice) --Mr. Wobbles! (EnterFaradayR.IE.) Father, dear, has Colonel Vavasour gone?
Faraday. No, my dear.
Celia. What!!!!
Faraday. I was fortunate enough to catch him at the door.
(Aunt Idadrops tongs on floor beside herR.)
Celia. But, Father, what ever possessed you to ask him to stay? (CrossesL.Sits.)
Faraday. You know he offered to help us. Things are looking pretty black for Tarver. We need all the help we can get at this mass meeting in the morning. So I have persuaded Colonel Vavasour to stop over and take the noon train.
(Faradayturns toward doorR.Iand proudly ushers inSmith.CeliaandAunt Idaturn their heads away, much discomfited.)
Faraday. (TakingSmithby the arm and passing him across him) A room must be prepared at once. Has Mrs. Brown gone to bed yet?
Celia. (Still seatedL.of table. Haughtily) I don't know, Father. She frequently goes to bed.
Faraday. Eh?
Celia. (Confused) I mean,early.
Faraday. (AsSmithgoesC.) Good-for-nothing old person, that housekeeper. Come with me. I'll look out for you myself. (They walk toward doorC.) We'll be back presently, Celia, to say goodnight to you and your aunt. (They exitC.door toL.Off stage) Tell Martin to bring in whiskey and soda.
Celia. (After a pause) Did you hear that, Aunt Ida?
Aunt Ida. (Wearily) Uh-huh.
Celia. "Stay here for the night and then take the noon train." That'sourtrain, Aunt Ida--the noon train. Isn't this an awful situation? Now, what are we going to do?
Aunt Ida. (Still more wearily) I don't know.
Celia. I can't face that man again, after--I can't. I have got to get out of this house myself,to-night, some way, somehow. (Rushes up toC.doors, closing and locking them.) How can I manage it? Think, Aunt Ida. Think--think--think--think--think.
Aunt Ida. (Disgustedly) Think--think--think--think--think. I can't think. My poor old head won't stand much more of this.
Celia. (Coming down back ofAunt Idaand putting her arms about her) I've got it. Since he's going to takeourtrain, there's nothing left for us to do but takehis.
Aunt Ida. (Startled) What?
Celia. Yes, that midnight train. I don't care where it goes or if it ever gets there. We'll manage to reach Southampton somehow before to-morrow night. The thing is to get away from here as quickly as possible. We must hurry terribly. It's nearly eleven now. We can have a compartment to ourselves. I'll see if Wilson is still at the station. (Crossing to telephone on desk) He'll tell us all about it.
Aunt Ida. (Protesting) I'm only half packed.
Celia. That doesn't matter. I'm not packed at all. Kent's a jewel. She will stay up all night, packing everything, and follow us in the morning. (Rings telephone and lifts off receiver) Hello! Are you there?
Aunt Ida. (Still protesting) My tailor suit has gone to the cleaner's and won't be home till morning. I've nothing to wear.
Celia. There is no time to wear anything. We must go without any clothes.
Aunt Ida. What!!
Celia. Except motor coats, I mean. We've got to go as we are. (Into telephone)Hello!Yes, put me through to the station, quick, please. I want to speak to Wilson. (ToAunt Ida) Now, don't worry, Aunt Ida, I will bundle you up warmly.
Aunt Ida. I'llhaveto have something to eat. I have had nothing since morning. I couldn't eat a bite at the dinner and I feel so gone and faint.
Celia. Well, if you're feeling faint, dear, take a drink of that brandy. That'll do you good.
Aunt Ida. Oh, no. I'm not addicted to the use of those things.
Celia. But, if you're faint, you need it. (Into the telephone) Hello! Hello! Is that you, Wilson?
Aunt Ida. But I do feel very faint.
Celia. Just a minute, Wilson. (Puts down receiver and runs across to brandy bottle, picks up bottle and pours it into whiskey and soda glass, while she talks excitedly. She pours the glass half full.) Now, please, dear. Don't be ridiculous at a time like this. You might have one of your dreadful fainting spells in the motor, and I shouldn't know what to do for you. Now, come, come, dear, drink this. (Rushes to the back ofAunt Ida'schair and holds the glass while she drinks.Aunt Idadrains the glass, making a wry face and shuddering.Celiahurriedly puts down glass and flies back to telephone.)
Aunt Ida. If only it doesn't go to my head!
Celia. Oh, it won't, it won't. (Into telephone) Hello, Wilson, are you there? Well, listen, this is Miss Faraday. Yes, yes, Miss Celia. I've got to get away to-night on the midnight train. It's most important and will you look up at once what connections that train makes for Southampton--yes, Southampton. Also please wire Bletchley, and have a compartment reserved for me. What? It will take you ten minutes? Please hurry. There is so little time to spare. (Replaces receiver.) Now we must get the motor. (Springs up from chair and goes up to bell-pushL.ofC.door, rings bell, runs down toR.ofAunt Idaand picks up the tongs from floor.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida? How do you feel now?
Aunt Ida. Oh, I feel all right.
(EnterMartinR.I.He stands.)
Martin. Yes, Miss.
Celia. (Holding tongs) Oh, Martin, I want you to jump upstairs----
Martin. (In open amazement)Jump, Miss?
Celia. I said, "Jump" and tell Kent to give you two motor coats and any other kind of a wrap she can find, two motor bonnets, some veils and furs and some pins and my motor bag and--two toothbrushes. We are going for a drive.
Martin. Adrive, Miss?
Celia. (Irritated) I saida drive. Will you hurry, please?
(READY Telephone.)
Martin. Very good, Miss. (ExitR.I.)
Aunt Ida. We can't have the motor. We couldn't have it to go to the Admiral's. It's broken.
Celia. (Putting tongs in the winged armchair) It wouldn't be a motor if it wasn't. Now what will we do? Oh, I'll get Jimmie Raleigh and he'll come back and take us down in his. (Goes to phone.) Hello! Hello! I wonder what the--(Aunt Idasqueals)--telephone number is. Oh, Aunt Ida, please do be quiet. You know you will make me nervous in a minute.
Aunt Ida. I'm not saying a word.
Celia. Hello! Hello! Give me Sir William Raleigh's house, please. Yes, I know the family is away, but I want to speak to Mr. James Raleigh. (Stuffs handkerchief in telephone receiver and turns toAunt Ida.) Aunt Ida, tell me, do you know, are there any Smithsranchingin Chicago?
Aunt Ida. (Slightly tipsily) Smiths? Smiths? I don't know.
Celia. (Into telephone) What? He's not in? (Martinenters with wraps and bags. Crosses back of table to chairL.of table.) Well, have him ring me up directly he comes in--Miss Faraday. Yes, please. (Puts up telephone. Jumps up, goes toMartin,helps him place wraps on chair, takes bag and puts it on floor, beside and to theL.of chairR.)
(Note:The wraps must be placed acrossMartin'sarms in the following manner:Celia'swrap on bottom, then her veil and bonnet. Next comes muff and fur forAunt Ida.Then the ulster forAunt Idaand on top her bonnet. The bag is inMartin'shand.)
Martin. (GoingC.above table) Shan't I clear the table, Miss?
Celia. No, leave it till morning. Don't bother about anything. Go to bed, Martin, go to bed. Good-night.
Martin. Thank you, Miss. Good-night. (GoesL.and exits.)
Aunt Ida. You have forgotten the whiskey and soda.
Celia. (SeizesAunt Ida'sbonnet from pile of wraps and crosses to her above table) Of course I have. You don't suppose I'm going to have those two men back here until we're out of the way. (Placing bonnet onAunt Ida'shead from back) I don't want to hurry you, dear, but we must be ready the minute Mr. Raleigh gets here. (Celiais so excited that she getsAunt Ida'sbonnet on quite to one side, ties a rampant bow under her right ear, then flies up stage and peeps through curtain on door to see if the men are returning.Aunt Idaduring this is showing serious signs of the effect of the brandy by grotesque gestures and movements of her head.CeliareturnsR.ofAunt Ida.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida, how do you feel now?
Aunt Ida. (Quite tipsily) I never felt like this before in all my life. I think I've got a chill.
Celia. A chill? Do you want a little more brandy? (Goes for decanter.)
Aunt Ida. No--no--no--no.
Celia. (Seizing ulster and going back to her) Then get into this. It will keep you warm while you are waiting. (She helpsAunt Ida,who is still seated, into the ulster, her right arm first. She then rushes back to chair for fur and muff.)
Aunt Ida. (Flopping on table) Oh, Celia! Why do we have to go on this dreadful journey?
Celia. (Handing her muff over her shoulder, whichAunt Idaclutches and hugs like a child) To get to Chicago, dear, to get to Chicago! (Placing stole around her neck) And we'll be there almost before you realize it. (Telephone bell rings.Celiathrows stole quickly aroundAunt Ida'sface, almost smothering her, and rushes to telephone.) Hello!--Hello!--What?--Yes, Mr. Raleigh. I did--Mr. Raleigh, Aunt Ida has just had a cable from Chicago with some very bad news.
Aunt Ida. Oh! Oh!
Celia. (ToAunt Ida) Hush! (Into telephone) And she has got to get away to-night on the midnight train. I want to go a little way with her. Won't you come and drive us to the station in your motor?--What? You will? Oh, that's very kind of you, but don't drive up to the door. (Aunt Idarises, supporting herself on table.) No, stay down by the gate and we'll walk down. (Aunt Idahas moved cautiously around and walks over to the conservatory window.) Just blow your horn gently when you get here, so we'll know that you've arrived. We'll go down as quickly as we can. Yes.--Thanks.--Yes, yes. (Hangs up receiver and goes for her bonnet. Crosses below table to doorR.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida? How do you feel now?
Aunt Ida. I'm afraid it's a fever, or else I'm dreadfully over-heated. (Sits on stool.)
Celia. (Going to her) You'll be all right, once you're in the fresh air. But I've got to leave you for a few moments while I run upstairs and get my box of love letters. I can't go away and leave those things behind me. There are about two hundred and fifty of them by this time. (GoingR.) I've been writing to that man every day for eight months.
Aunt Ida. Celia! (Celiastops. Beckons to her tipsily.Celiagoes to her.) Do you know something, Celia. I believe you're half in love with Smith.
Celia. (Going backR.) You dear old goose, you don't know what you're talking about. I half in love with that man? Half in love with a man who has treated me as that man has done? Well--(Going furtherR.)--I hope I'm not quite such a fool as that, Aunt Ida.
Aunt Ida. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Celia. (With her back toAunt Ida) Well, and if I were? Isn't it all the more reason for me to get out of this house before I make a bigger fool of myself? (Goes to doorR.,which she barely opens whenAunt Idastops her again.)
Aunt Ida. Celia!!! (Celiaturns.) I believe--I ought to lie down.
Celia. (Lets the door slam to and rushes straight across the stage toAunt Ida) No, Aunt Ida, dear, you can't do anything like that. You can sleep in the motor and in the train, but you must stay here while I'm gone and listen for Wilson's telephone message and write it down.
Aunt Ida. It's no use. Just five minutes. I must lie down.
Celia. I won't be a minute.
Aunt Ida. Now I'm getting cold. Put something around me.
Celia. Well, here. (Puts screen in front of her) This will keep off the draught and you can have the fresh air at the same time, and have a little nap while you're waiting. (Speaking over, her shoulder, she goesR.to door) No one will disturb you, dear. I've locked that door and will take the key of this one with me, and I'll hurry back as fast as I can, Aunt Ida, just as fast as---- (Exits quickly, locking door behind her.)
(There is a pause. The faint toot of a motor horn is heard offL.Aunt Ida'shands are seen to grasp the top of the outer wings of the screen, one by one. Her head appears for a moment. She looks about tipsily and then drops suddenly out of sight again. After a pause, a second toot is heard.Aunt Idarises slowly and carefully and comes outR.of screen. She is extremely puzzled.)
Aunt Ida. Now what was that? (Her eye lights on telephone and a smile breaks over her face) The telephone. Wilson's message. Must write it down. (Goes carefully and slowly to desk and sits heavily in chair. Takes off receiver and places transmitter to her ear. There is a pause as she listens. A look of terror and surprise creeps over her face.) Now! something's the matter with my ears. I can't hear a word they say. I believe I'm paralyzed. Oh, dear. (Looks helplessly about her.) Why doesn't Celia come back? (She has taken a pen in her right hand to write down the message. She holds the receiver in her left hand. She looks from one to the other and cannot make up her mind which goes where. She finally decides and elaborately puts the pen in the telephone hooks with a satisfied smile. She then carefully places the receiver on the desk where the pen ought to be.) It's not us. This has been a dreadful day. (Slowly and carefully rising and looking tipsily about) If I'm to be good for anything to-night, I will have to lie down somewhere. (Goes up to doors) If only for five minutes. (Unlocks and opens doors) I'll have to lie down--I'll--have--to---- (She exits at back toR.,whimpering to herself. When she is off, the telephone bell begins to ring. After it has rung for a moment,Faradayis heard off stage, calling)
Faraday. (Off stageL.) Celia! Celia! Where are you, Celia? (He appears from theL.and stands inC.doorway, looking off right. His jaw drops.) What--is--the--matter--with--your--Aunt? (The telephone bell continues to ring. He hurries down.) Here! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! (Smithenters and comes downL.of table above chair whereCelia'scoat and bag are.Faradaysees pen in telephone hooks, jerks it out and throws it on desk and picks up receiver. Bell stops ringing.) Hello! Hello! Faraday Hall. Mr. Faraday speaking.--Tell Miss Faraday what? You've made the reservation on the midnight train, change cars at Cobden?
Smith. (SeesCelia'swraps and bag and starts slightly) Miss Faraday going? (MovesR.above table, thinking.)
Faraday. (Into telephone) Nonsense, man, you mean Mrs. Faraday. At twelve noon, she's leaving, not twelvemidnight.--What's that you say? It was Miss Celia that telephoned and said she was going herself? Nonsense, man! Don't argue with me. I'm afraid you've been drinking, my man. (Smells telephone) The telephonereeks of brandy!Try to be sober by morning. Remember, we need you in this election. (As he hangs up telephone) I've only known him to be drunk once before--decent chap and devoted to Celia.
Smith. (R.of table) Every one is, sir. She's peculiarly attractive.
Faraday. Yes, but it's taken people a long time to find it out. Now, where has Martin put that whiskey? (He goes fussing about the room) But the men who want to step into Smith's shoes now are legion. (Still looking about and fussing. Picks up brandy decanter. Smells it and puts it down.)
Smith. It's a legion, sir, I'd like to enlist in at once. Have I your permission?
Faraday. Of course you have, my dear fellow, of course you have! (CrossingR.) If I can only find that damn whiskey and soda, I will drink good luck to you. (Rattles door downR.Finds it locked) What do you suppose that scoundrel Martin has been up to?Has everybody been drinking to-night?Come, we'll have to go around through the library. (Goes up toC.door and exitsR.Smithfollows him. AsSmithgets to door, the motor horn toots twice. He pauses and looks back, knowingly, then exits offR.After his exit, horn toots twice.)
(EnterCeliawith box supposed to contain love letters and small box supposed to contain watch and pin. She closes the door and deliberately disregards open doors at back.)
Celia. (Keeping her eyes fixed on her box of letters, crossesC.below table) I'm back, Aunty dear. I wasn't very long, was I? I've got my box of love letters. (Holds out box and looks at it ruefully) Well, they will go into the furnace with my own hands. (Places box right of her on table.) And his watch and his pin, infamous things, he'll have those back and a letter with them, that I hope will burn without going into the furnace. (Celiagoes to desk and takes up a piece of paper as if to write) Tell me, dear. Did Wilson telephone?
Smith. (Who has appeared at back fromR.) Yes, Miss Faraday, he did. (Celiadrops the paper from her hand, turns slowly around, sees open doors, walks deliberately to screen and looks over it, her back to the audience. She turns around, her face expressing chagrin and annoyance atAunt Ida'sfailing her.) Mayn't I come into the room and speak to you?
Celia. Certainly not. (Goes and viciously seizes her coat from chair and begins to put it on.)
Smith. (Coming into the room just the same and coming down above her on theR.) You told me, I know, there was nothing more to say but good-bye and I'll say that too, if I must. But first, there is something else to say and I'd much rathersayit than write it.
Celia. Mo, whatever you do, don't write--don't write me anything. I dislike letters intensely and just at present they seem to be a drug on the market. (Picks up her bag and veil.)
Smith. But there is something Imustsay to you before you go.
Celia. How do you know I'm going anywhere?
Smith. (Looks down at her bag and smiles) Well? (Celiaswings bag to other side of her.) Besides, I overheard Wilson's message.
Celia. Oh, you did. Well, then perhaps you will be good enough to realize that I'm in something of a hurry. You will find your jewelry there on the desk.
Smith. Won't you sit down for five minutes?
(READY Horn.)
Celia. Certainly not.
Smith. Just five!
Celia. No.
Smith. If you don't, upon my word, I shall begin to believe that you are afraid of me.
Celia. (Sits quickly with her back to the audienceL.of table) Indeed! That wouldn't be yourfirstmistake, you know.
Smith. I know it was a foolish trick. I had no right to come here as I did.
Celia. It was a cruel joke.
Smith. (Simply and feelingly) Yes, but a joke that is more on me now than it ever was on you. (Motor horn toots three times.Celiaturns her head in the direction of the conservatory.) I want you to know that my name really is Vavasour.
Celia. You astonish me. Isn't it anything else too?
Smith. Yes, it's really J. N. Smith, too.
Celia. Oh! Is that all?
Smith. No, more. Now that I have come in to my Uncle Vavasour's old Abbey, I have to take his name legally, Smith-Vavasour, don't you see?
Celia. I see. What a delightful combination of class and mass! This may be all very interesting to anyone interested, but really I haven't time now to split hairs over a middle name. Your intention was to deceive me, and you almost succeeded. Failure alone, I take it, accounts for your present humility. Now, if you will be good enough to get your watch on the desk, you will see that the five minutes you asked for are up and, since you insist on saying good-bye to me, will you say it as quickly as possible, please, and let me go? (Makes no attempt to move.)
Smith. No. Not until we've decided what's to be done about your other letters. (Hand unconsciously rests on the box of letters without his knowing it.)
Celia. (Glances at this and tries to appear unconcerned) What other letters?
Smith. I have that first one here. (Pressing his hand over his heart.) But--all the others. Good God! (Moving well downR.) When I think of love letters of yours wandering loose about Somaliland---- (Celiaplaces her bag quickly on table, steals her arm across, seizes the box of letters whileSmithis not looking, and on the word Somaliland, swings away from him, hiding the box awkwardly under her cloak.) There's one thing I can do to show you what I feel about it. Give me some clue to the mistaken addresses you must have put upon them and I'll start back to-morrow and fetch them. (ComesL.C.,quite close toCelia.)
Celia. From Somaliland?
Smith. FromHell, if necessary.
Celia. Fortunately, such a journey would be superfluous.
Smith. What do you mean?
Celia. I mean that all of those hundreds and hundreds of letters that I was fool enough to write to an imaginary hero are all here in this box. And now they're going into the furnace with my own hands. (Starts for door, swinging the box in her right hand.)
Smith. (Following her and playfully taking the box from her) Won't you give them to me instead?
Celia. (Turns back and they both hold on to box) Certainly not. It's an additional insult that you should even suggest such a thing. Do you suppose I ever want to see you or hear your name again--a man who has dared to hold me up to ridicule as you have done--to wickedly and cruelly amuse himself at my expense---- (Smithgives a low laugh.) Oh, don't you suppose I know how funny I must have seemed to you? Ha! Ha! (ImitatesSmith'slaugh.) Silly idiot of a girl, tired of having no notice taken of her, tired of being kept on the shelf, just dying to show people how attractive she could be--only give her the chance. And to think because of that I made such an everlasting fool of myself before a man, a man who is capable of----
Smith. Capable of telling you a lie, Miss Faraday? (Puts box of letters on table.)
(READY Motor Horn.)
Celia. Well, you did. You know you did. You did everything you could think of to deceive me.
Smith. I can't deny it.
Celia. And do you believe that a man or a woman could ever bring himself or herself to respect or have anything to do with a man or a woman who--who deceived?
Smith. I do believe it. And judging by my own case, I may say I know it.
Celia. I don't think it is very generous of you to allude to me in that manner.
Smith. Me. We are discussing me, Miss Faraday. What can I say to induce you to forgive me?
Celia. Nothing. (Smithturns away. She glances at him. In an indifferent tone) But, of course, you may say it if you wish.
Smith. (Turns and comes to her. Tenderly) Ididlie to you elaborately, and I'm going to be jolly glad that I had the chance of lying to you, and I want all the rest of my life the chance of telling you the truth. These few hours with you have made me want so very much for more like them, made me want a chance to seem less odious in your eyes, at least to be on a fair footing, so that I may take my chances with the rest.
Celia. (Looking straight into his eyes) But they haven't any chance at all.
(Smithlaughs a little andCelia,realizing her "break" turns her head away in confusion.)
Smith. Well, that's good news. Then give me a chance alone, won't you? You've only known me for four hours, but am I wrong in believing that you've been thinking of me for eight months? Can't I hope to take the place of the man to whom you gave my name?
(Celiasmiles and looks down a little wistfully, as if about to consent. Motor horn toots three times.)
Celia. (Throwing off her yielding mood, turns and goes to the winged armchair, back to audience, shaking out her veil and pointingL.) Oh, no, it's all too impossible. Besides, Mr. Raleigh is waiting for me in the motor.
Smith. (Comes to her and gently takes her right hand) You've been dreaming for eight months of an ideal that you never thought to see. I've been dreaming all my life in exactly the same way and at last I've seen mine.
Celia. (After a pause, during which she lets her hand rest in his, her head averted) Yes, but it's too late now, because I'm leaving here immediately. Mr. Raleigh is waiting to take me to the station. (Smithpulls her gently across and down stage a few steps. She goes quite willingly.) Will you please let me go?
Smith. (Still holding her hands) You shall go. I shall let you go. The instant you tell me to whom you are speaking--Celia.
Celia. Really, this is an outrage. Will you kindly let me go, Colonel Smith?
Smith.Hecan't. You remember you killed him of wounds at Berbera.
Celia. Well, Colonel Vavasour, will you please let me go?
Smith.Hecan't. The lawyers haven't finished making him.
Celia. (After a pause, while she slowly breaks into a laugh) Oh, very well, then--Wobbles.
(Smithreleases her hand and she hurries to doorR.and opens it.)
Smith. Please don't go. Come into the next room and talk things over.
(Auto horn toots impatiently offR.)
Celia. No, no, I can't. There's Mr. Raleigh. He'scomeup to the door. Good-bye.
Smith. (After a pause) Good-bye?
Celia. Yes, good-bye. (Goes to door and looks off down stairs) Why, here he is coming up the steps. Martin's letting him in. (Smithturns and goes slowly up stage toC.Putting on her veil) No wonder he's impatient. He's been waiting for me for twenty minutes.
Smith. (In doorway) Yes, but remember I've been waiting for you for twenty years. (Exits, offL.C.)
(WARN Curtain.)