THE DUEL.
The gingham dog and the calico catSide by side on the table sat;’Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)Not one nor t’other had slept a wink!The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plateAppeared to know as sure as fateThere was going to be a terrible spat(I wasn’t there; I simply stateWhat was told to me by the Chinese plate!)The gingham dog went “bow-wow-wow!”And the calico cat replied “mee-ow!”The air was littered an hour or so,With bits of gingham and calico;While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place,Up with its hands before its face,For it always dreaded a family row!(Now mind: I’m only telling youWhat the old Dutch clock declares is true!)The Chinese plate looked very blue,And wailed, “Oh, dear! what shall we do!”But the gingham dog and the calico catWallowed this way and tumbled that,Employing every tooth and clawIn the awfullest way you ever saw—And, Oh! how the gingham and calico flew!(Don’t fancy I exaggerate!I got my views from the Chinese plate!)Next morning where the two had satThey found no trace of dog or cat;And some folks think unto this dayThat burglars stole that pair away!But the truth about that cat and pupIs this: They ate each other up!Now what do you really think of that!(The old Dutch clock it told me so,And that is how I came to know.)
The gingham dog and the calico catSide by side on the table sat;’Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)Not one nor t’other had slept a wink!The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plateAppeared to know as sure as fateThere was going to be a terrible spat(I wasn’t there; I simply stateWhat was told to me by the Chinese plate!)The gingham dog went “bow-wow-wow!”And the calico cat replied “mee-ow!”The air was littered an hour or so,With bits of gingham and calico;While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place,Up with its hands before its face,For it always dreaded a family row!(Now mind: I’m only telling youWhat the old Dutch clock declares is true!)The Chinese plate looked very blue,And wailed, “Oh, dear! what shall we do!”But the gingham dog and the calico catWallowed this way and tumbled that,Employing every tooth and clawIn the awfullest way you ever saw—And, Oh! how the gingham and calico flew!(Don’t fancy I exaggerate!I got my views from the Chinese plate!)Next morning where the two had satThey found no trace of dog or cat;And some folks think unto this dayThat burglars stole that pair away!But the truth about that cat and pupIs this: They ate each other up!Now what do you really think of that!(The old Dutch clock it told me so,And that is how I came to know.)
The gingham dog and the calico catSide by side on the table sat;’Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)Not one nor t’other had slept a wink!The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plateAppeared to know as sure as fateThere was going to be a terrible spat(I wasn’t there; I simply stateWhat was told to me by the Chinese plate!)
The gingham dog and the calico cat
Side by side on the table sat;
’Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)
Not one nor t’other had slept a wink!
The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate
Appeared to know as sure as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat
(I wasn’t there; I simply state
What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)
The gingham dog went “bow-wow-wow!”And the calico cat replied “mee-ow!”The air was littered an hour or so,With bits of gingham and calico;While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place,Up with its hands before its face,For it always dreaded a family row!(Now mind: I’m only telling youWhat the old Dutch clock declares is true!)
The gingham dog went “bow-wow-wow!”
And the calico cat replied “mee-ow!”
The air was littered an hour or so,
With bits of gingham and calico;
While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place,
Up with its hands before its face,
For it always dreaded a family row!
(Now mind: I’m only telling you
What the old Dutch clock declares is true!)
The Chinese plate looked very blue,And wailed, “Oh, dear! what shall we do!”But the gingham dog and the calico catWallowed this way and tumbled that,Employing every tooth and clawIn the awfullest way you ever saw—And, Oh! how the gingham and calico flew!(Don’t fancy I exaggerate!I got my views from the Chinese plate!)
The Chinese plate looked very blue,
And wailed, “Oh, dear! what shall we do!”
But the gingham dog and the calico cat
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
Employing every tooth and claw
In the awfullest way you ever saw—
And, Oh! how the gingham and calico flew!
(Don’t fancy I exaggerate!
I got my views from the Chinese plate!)
Next morning where the two had satThey found no trace of dog or cat;And some folks think unto this dayThat burglars stole that pair away!But the truth about that cat and pupIs this: They ate each other up!Now what do you really think of that!(The old Dutch clock it told me so,And that is how I came to know.)
Next morning where the two had sat
They found no trace of dog or cat;
And some folks think unto this day
That burglars stole that pair away!
But the truth about that cat and pup
Is this: They ate each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!
(The old Dutch clock it told me so,
And that is how I came to know.)
—Eugene Field.
O wad some power the giftie gie usTo see ourselves as others see us,It wad frae monie a blunder free us,And foolish notion.
O wad some power the giftie gie usTo see ourselves as others see us,It wad frae monie a blunder free us,And foolish notion.
O wad some power the giftie gie usTo see ourselves as others see us,It wad frae monie a blunder free us,And foolish notion.
O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see ourselves as others see us,
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
And foolish notion.
—Robert Burns.