free and independent—i don’t see why—oats—a noise—unwelcome visitors—what’s the matter?—good-day to ye—the tall girl—dovrefeld—blow on the face—civil enough—what’s this?—vulgar woman—hands off—gasping for breath—long melford—a pretty manœuvre—a long draught—animation—it won’t do—no malice—bad people
Two mornings after the period to which I have brought the reader in the preceding chapter, I sat by my fire at the bottom of the dingle; I had just breakfasted, and had finished the last morsel of food which I had brought with me to that solitude.
‘What shall I now do?’ said I to myself; ‘shall I continue here, or decamp?—this is a sad lonely spot—perhaps I had better quit it; but whither shall I go? the wide world is before me, but what can I do therein? I have been in the world already without much success. No, I had better remain here; the place is lonely, it is true, but here I am free and independent, and can do what I please; but I can’t remain here without food. Well, I will find my way to the nearest town, lay in a fresh supply of provision, and come back, turning my back upon the world, which has turned its back upon me. I don’t see why I should not write a little sometimes; I have pens and an ink-horn, and for a writing-desk I can place the Bible on my knee. I shouldn’t wonder if I could write a capital satire on the world on the back of that Bible; but, first of all, I must think of supplying myself with food.’
I rose up from the stone on which I was seated, determining to go to the nearest town, with my little horse and cart, and procure what I wanted. The nearest town, according to my best calculation, lay about five miles distant; I had no doubt, however, that, by using ordinary diligence, I should be back before evening. In order to go lighter, I determined to leave my tent standing as it was, and all the things which I had purchased of the tinker, just as they were. ‘I need not be apprehensive on their account,’ said I to myself; ‘nobody willcome here to meddle with them—the great recommendation of this place is its perfect solitude—I daresay that I could live here six months without seeing a single human visage. I will now harness my little gry and be off to the town.’
At a whistle which I gave, the little gry, which was feeding on the bank near the uppermost part of the dingle, came running to me, for by this time he had become so accustomed to me that he would obey my call, for all the world as if he had been one of the canine species. ‘Now,’ said I to him, ‘we are going to the town to buy bread for myself and oats for you—I am in a hurry to be back; therefore I pray you to do your best, and to draw me and the cart to the town with all possible speed, and to bring us back; if you do your best, I promise you oats on your return. You know the meaning of oats, Ambrol?’
Ambrol whinnied as if to let me know that he understood me perfectly well, as indeed he well might, as I had never once fed him during the time that he had been in my possession without saying the word in question to him. Now, Ambrol, in the gypsy tongue, signifieth a pear.
So I caparisoned Ambrol, and then, going to the cart, I removed two or three things from it into the tent; I then lifted up the shafts, and was just going to call to the pony to come and be fastened to them, when I thought I heard a noise.
I stood stock still, supporting the shaft of the little cart in my hand, and bending the right side of my face slightly towards the ground, but I could hear nothing; the noise which I thought I had heard was not one of those sounds which I was accustomed to hear in that solitude—the note of a bird, or the rustling of a bough; it was—there I heard it again, a sound very much resembling the grating of a wheel amongst gravel. Could it proceed from the road? Oh no, the road was too far distant for me to hear the noise of anything moving along it. Again I listened, and now I distinctly heard the sound of wheels, which seemed to be approaching the dingle; nearer and nearer they drew, and presently the sound of wheels was blended withthe murmur of voices. Anon I heard a boisterous shout, which seemed to proceed from the entrance of the dingle. ‘Here are folks at hand,’ said I, letting the shaft of the cart fall to the ground; ‘is it possible that they can be coming here?’
My doubts on that point, if I entertained any, were soon dispelled; the wheels, which had ceased moving for a moment or two, were once again in motion, and were now evidently moving down the winding path which led to my retreat. Leaving my cart, I came forward and placed myself near the entrance of the open space, with my eyes fixed on the path down which my unexpected, and I may say unwelcome, visitors were coming. Presently I heard a stamping or sliding; as if of a horse in some difficulty; then a loud curse, and the next moment appeared a man and a horse and cart; the former holding the head of the horse up to prevent him from falling, of which he was in danger, owing to the precipitous nature of the path. Whilst thus occupied, the head of the man was averted from me. When, however, he had reached the bottom of the descent, he turned his head, and perceiving me, as I stood bareheaded, without either coat or waistcoat, about two yards from him, he gave a sudden start, so violent that the backward motion of his hand had nearly flung the horse upon his haunches.
‘Why don’t you move forward?’ said a voice from behind, apparently that of a female; ‘you are stopping up the way, and we shall be all down upon one another’; and I saw the head of another horse overtopping the back of the cart.
‘Why don’t you move forward, Jack?’ said another voice, also of a female, yet higher up the path.
The man stirred not, but remained staring at me in the posture which he had assumed on first perceiving me, his body very much drawn back, his left foot far in advance of his right, and with his right hand still grasping the halter of the horse, which gave way more and more, till it was clean down on its haunches.
‘What’s the matter?’ said the voice which I had last heard.
‘Get back with you, Belle, Moll,’ said the man, still staring at me; ‘here’s something not over canny or comfortable.’
‘What is it?’ said the same voice; ‘let me pass, Moll, and I’ll soon clear the way’; and I heard a kind of rushing down the path.
‘You need not be afraid,’ said I, addressing myself to the man, ‘I mean you no harm; I am a wanderer like yourself—come here to seek for shelter—you need not be afraid; I am a Roman chabo by matriculation—one of the right sort, and no mistake—Good-day to ye, brother; I bid ye welcome.’
The man eyed me suspiciously for a moment—then, turning to his horse with a loud curse, he pulled him up from his haunches, and led him and the cart farther down to one side of the dingle, muttering, as he passed me, ‘Afraid! Hm!’
I do not remember ever to have seen a more ruffianly-looking fellow; he was about six feet high, with an immensely athletic frame; his face was black and bluff, and sported an immense pair of whiskers, but with here and there a grey hair, for his age could not be much under fifty. He wore a faded blue frock-coat, corduroys, and highlows; on his black head was a kind of red nightcap, round his bull neck a Barcelona handkerchief—I did not like the look of the man at all.
‘Afraid!’ growled the fellow, proceeding to unharness his horse; ‘that was the word, I think.’
But other figures were now already upon the scene. Dashing past the other horse and cart, which by this time had reached the bottom of the pass, appeared an exceedingly tall woman, or rather girl, for she could scarcely have been above eighteen; she was dressed in a tight bodice and a blue stuff gown; hat, bonnet, or cap she had none, and her hair, which was flaxen, hung down on her shoulders unconfined; her complexion was fair, and her features handsome, with a determined but open expression—she was followed by another female, about forty, stout and vulgar-looking, at whom Iscarcely glanced, my whole attention being absorbed by the tall girl.
‘What’s the matter, Jack?’ said the latter, looking at the man.
‘Only afraid, that’s all,’ said the man, still proceeding with his work.
‘Afraid at what—at that lad? why, he looks like a ghost—I would engage to thrash him with one hand.’
‘You might beat me with no hands at all,’ said I, ‘fair damsel, only by looking at me—I never saw such a face and figure, both regal—why, you look like Ingeborg, Queen of Norway; she had twelve brothers, you know, and could lick them all, though they were heroes:—
On Dovrefeld in NorwayWere once together seenThe twelve heroic brothersOf Ingeborg the queen.’
On Dovrefeld in NorwayWere once together seenThe twelve heroic brothersOf Ingeborg the queen.’
‘None of your chaffing, young fellow,’ said the tall girl, ‘or I will give you what shall make you wipe your face; be civil, or you will rue it.’
‘Well, perhaps I was a peg too high,’ said I; ‘I ask your pardon—here’s something a bit lower:—
As I was jawing to the gav yeck divvusI met on the drom miro Rommany chi—’
As I was jawing to the gav yeck divvusI met on the drom miro Rommany chi—’
‘None of your Rommany chies, young fellow,’ said the tall girl, looking more menacingly than before, and clenching her fist; ‘you had better be civil, I am none of your chies; and though I keep company with gypsies, or, to speak more proper, half-and-halfs, I would have you to know that I come of Christian blood and parents, and was born in the great house of Long Melford.’
‘I have no doubt,’ said I, ‘that it was a great house; judging from your size I shouldn’t wonder if you were born in a church.’
‘Stay, Belle,’ said the man, putting himself before the youngvirago, who was about to rush upon me, ‘my turn is first’—then, advancing to me in a menacing attitude, he said, with a look of deep malignity, ‘“Afraid,” was the word, wasn’t it?’
‘It was,’ said I, ‘but I think I wronged you; I should have said, aghast; you exhibited every symptom of one labouring under uncontrollable fear.’
The fellow stared at me with a look of stupid ferocity, and appeared to be hesitating whether to strike or not: ere he could make up his mind, the tall girl started forward, crying, ‘He’s chaffing; let me at him’; and before I could put myself on my guard, she struck me a blow on the face which had nearly brought me to the ground.
‘Enough,’ said I, putting my hand to my cheek; ‘you have now performed your promise, and made me wipe my face: now be pacified, and tell me fairly the grounds of this quarrel.’
‘Grounds!’ said the fellow; ‘didn’t you say I was afraid; and if you hadn’t, who gave you leave to camp on my ground?’
‘Is it your ground?’ said I.
‘A pretty question,’ said the fellow; ‘as if all the world didn’t know that. Do you know who I am?’
‘I guess I do,’ said I; ‘unless I am much mistaken, you are he whom folks call the “Flaming Tinman.” To tell you the truth, I’m glad we have met, for I wished to see you. These are your two wives, I suppose; I greet them. There’s no harm done—there’s room enough here for all of us—we shall soon be good friends, I daresay; and when we are a little better acquainted, I’ll tell you my history.’
‘Well, if that doesn’t beat all!’ said the fellow.
‘I don’t think he’s chaffing now,’ said the girl, whose anger seemed to have subsided on a sudden; ‘the young man speaks civil enough.’
‘Civil!’ said the fellow, with an oath; ‘but that’s just like you; with you it is a blow, and all over. Civil! I suppose youwould have him stay here, and get into all my secrets, and hear all I may have to say to my two morts.’
‘Two morts!’ said the girl, kindling up, ‘where are they? Speak for one, and no more. I am no mort of yours, whatever some one else may be. I tell you one thing, Black John or Anselo,—for t’other ain’t your name,—the same thing I told the young man here, be civil, or you will rue it.’
The fellow looked at the girl furiously, but his glance soon quailed before hers; he withdrew his eyes, and cast them on my little horse, which was feeding amongst the trees. ‘What’s this?’ said he, rushing forward and seizing the animal. ‘Why, as I am alive, this is the horse of that mumping villain Slingsby.’
‘It’s his no longer; I bought it and paid for it.’
‘It’s mine now,’ said the fellow; ‘I swore I would seize it the next time I found it on my beat; ay, and beat the master too.’
‘I am not Slingsby.’
‘All’s one for that.’
‘You don’t say you will beat me?’
‘Afraid was the word.’
‘I’m sick and feeble.’
‘Hold up your fists.’
‘Won’t the horse satisfy you?’
‘Horse nor bellows either.’
‘No mercy, then?’
‘Here’s at you.’
‘Mind your eyes, Jack. There, you’ve got it. I thought so,’ shouted the girl, as the fellow staggered back from a sharp blow in the eye; ‘I thought he was chaffing at you all along.’
‘Never mind, Anselo. You know what to do—go in,’ said the vulgar woman, who had hitherto not spoken a word, but who now came forward with all the look of a fury; ‘go inapopli; you’ll smash ten like he.’
The Flaming Tinman took her advice, and came in bent on smashing, but stopped short on receiving a left-handed blow on the nose.
‘You’ll never beat the Flaming Tinman in that way,’ said the girl, looking at me doubtfully.
And so I began to think myself, when, in the twinkling of an eye, the Flaming Tinman, disengaging himself of his frock-coat, and dashing off his red night-cap, came rushing in more desperately than ever. To a flush hit which he received in the mouth he paid as little attention as a wild bull would have done; in a moment his arms were around me, and in another he had hurled me down, falling heavily upon me. The fellow’s strength appeared to be tremendous.
‘Pay him off now,’ said the vulgar woman. The Flaming Tinman made no reply, but, planting his knee on my breast, seized my throat with two huge horny hands. I gave myself up for dead, and probably should have been so in another minute but for the tall girl, who caught hold of the handkerchief which the fellow wore round his neck, with a grasp nearly as powerful as that with which he pressed my throat.
‘Do you call that fair play?’ said she.
‘Hands off, Belle,’ said the other woman; ‘do you call it fair play to interfere? hands off, or I’ll be down upon you myself.’
But Belle paid no heed to the injunction, and tugged so hard at the handkerchief that the Flaming Tinman was nearly throttled; suddenly relinquishing his hold of me, he started on his feet, and aimed a blow at my fair preserver, who avoided it, but said coolly:—
‘Finish t’other business first, and then I’m your woman whenever you like; but finish it fairly—no foul play when I’m by—I’ll be the boy’s second, and Moll can pick up you when he happens to knock you down.’
The battle during the next ten minutes raged with considerable fury, but it so happened that during this time I was never able to knock the Flaming Tinman down, but on the contrary received six knock-down blows myself. ‘I can never stand this,’ said I, as I sat on the knee of Belle, ‘I am afraid I mustgive in; the Flaming Tinman hits very hard,’ and I spat out a mouthful of blood.
‘Sure enough you’ll never beat the Flaming Tinman in the way you fight—it’s of no use flipping at the Flaming Tinman with your left hand; why don’t you use your right?’
‘Because I’m not handy with it,’ said I; and then getting up, I once more confronted the Flaming Tinman, and struck him six blows for his one, but they were all left-handed blows, and the blow which the Flaming Tinman gave me knocked me off my legs.
‘Now, will you use Long Melford?’ said Belle, picking me up.
‘I don’t know what you mean by Long Melford,’ said I, gasping for breath.
‘Why, this long right of yours,’ said Belle, feeling my right arm; ‘if you do, I shouldn’t wonder if you yet stand a chance.’
And now the Flaming Tinman was once more ready, much more ready than myself. I, however, rose from my second’s knee as well as my weakness would permit me. On he came, striking left and right, appearing almost as fresh as to wind and spirit as when he first commenced the combat, though his eyes were considerably swelled, and his nether lip was cut in two; on he came, striking left and right, and I did not like his blows at all, or even the wind of them, which was anything but agreeable, and I gave way before him. At last he aimed a blow which, had it taken full effect, would doubtless have ended the battle, but owing to his slipping, the fist only grazed my left shoulder, and came with terrific force against a tree, close to which I had been driven; before the Tinman could recover himself, I collected all my strength, and struck him beneath the ear, and then fell to the ground completely exhausted; and it so happened that the blow which I struck the Tinker beneath the ear was a right-handed blow.
‘Hurrah for Long Melford!’ I heard Belle exclaim; ‘there is nothing like Long Melford for shortness, all the world over.’
At these words I turned round my head as I lay, and perceived the Flaming Tinman stretched upon the ground apparently senseless. ‘He is dead,’ said the vulgar woman, as she vainly endeavoured to raise him up; ‘he is dead; the best man in all the north country, killed in this fashion, by a boy!’ Alarmed at these words, I made shift to get on my feet; and, with the assistance of the woman, placed my fallen adversary in a sitting posture. I put my hand to his heart, and felt a slight pulsation—‘He’s not dead,’ said I, ‘only stunned; if he were let blood, he would recover presently.’ I produced a penknife which I had in my pocket, and, baring the arm of the Tinman, was about to make the necessary incision, when the woman gave me a violent blow, and, pushing me aside, exclaimed, ‘I’ll tear the eyes out of your head if you offer to touch him. Do you want to complete your work, and murder him outright, now he’s asleep? you have had enough of his blood already.’ ‘You are mad,’ said I, ‘I only seek to do him service. Well, if you won’t let him be blooded, fetch some water and fling it in his face, you know where the pit is.’
‘A pretty manœuvre!’ said the woman; ‘leave my husband in the hands of you and that limmer, who has never been true to us—I should find him strangled or his throat cut when I came back.’ ‘Do you go,’ said I to the tall girl; ‘take the can and fetch some water from the pit.’ ‘You had better go yourself,’ said the girl, wiping a tear as she looked on the yet senseless form of the Tinker; ‘you had better go yourself, if you think water will do him good.’ I had by this time somewhat recovered my exhausted powers, and, taking the can, I bent my steps as fast as I could to the pit; arriving there, I lay down on the brink, took a long draught, and then plunged my head into the water; after which I filled the can, and bent my way back to the dingle. Before I could reach the path which led down into its depths, I had to pass some way along its side; I had arrived at a part immediately over the scene of the last encounter, where the bank, overgrown with trees, sloped precipitouslydown. Here I heard a loud sound of voices in the dingle; I stopped, and laying hold of a tree, leaned over the bank and listened. The two women appeared to be in hot dispute in the dingle. ‘It was all owing to you, you limmer,’ said the vulgar woman to the other; ‘had you not interfered, the old man would soon have settled the boy.’
‘I’m for fair play and Long Melford,’ said the other. ‘If your old man, as you call him, could have settled the boy fairly, he might for all I should have cared, but no foul work for me, and as for sticking the boy with our gulleys when he comes back, as you proposed, I am not so fond of your old man or you that I should oblige you in it, to my soul’s destruction.’ ‘Hold your tongue, or I’ll—’ I listened no farther, but hastened as fast as I could to the dingle. My adversary had just begun to show signs of animation; the vulgar woman was still supporting him, and occasionally cast glances of anger at the tall girl, who was walking slowly up and down. I lost no time in dashing the greater part of the water into the Tinman’s face, whereupon he sneezed, moved his hands, and presently looked round him. At first his looks were dull and heavy, and without any intelligence at all; he soon, however, began to recollect himself, and to be conscious of his situation; he cast a scowling glance at me, then one of the deepest malignity at the tall girl, who was still walking about without taking much notice of what was going forward. At last he looked at his right hand, which had evidently suffered from the blow against the tree, and a half-stifled curse escaped his lips. The vulgar woman now said something to him in a low tone, whereupon he looked at her for a moment, and then got upon his legs. Again the vulgar woman said something to him; her looks were furious, and she appeared to be urging him on to attempt something. I observed that she had a clasped knife in her hand. The fellow remained standing for some time as if hesitating what to do; at last he looked at his hand, and, shaking his head, said something to the womanwhich I did not understand. The tall girl, however, appeared to overhear him, and, probably repeating his words, said, ‘No, it won’t do; you are right there; and now hear what I have to say,—let bygones be bygones, and let us all shake hands, and camp here, as the young man was saying just now.’ The man looked at her, and then, without any reply, went to his horse, which was lying down among the trees, and kicking it up, led it to the cart, to which he forthwith began to harness it. The other cart and horse had remained standing motionless during the whole affair which I have been recounting, at the bottom of the pass. The woman now took the horse by the head, and leading it with the cart into the open part of the dingle, turned both round, and then led them back, till the horse and cart had mounted a little way up the ascent; she then stood still and appeared to be expecting the man. During this proceeding Belle had stood looking on without saying anything; at last, perceiving that the man had harnessed his horse to the other cart, and that both he and the woman were about to take their departure, she said, ‘You are not going, are you?’ Receiving no answer, she continued: ‘I tell you what, both of you, Black John, and you Moll, his mort, this is not treating me over civilly,—however, I am ready to put up with it, and to go with you if you like, for I bear no malice. I’m sorry for what has happened, but you have only yourselves to thank for it. Now, shall I go with you, only tell me?’ The man made no manner of reply, but flogged his horse. The woman, however, whose passions were probably under less control, replied, with a screeching tone, ‘Stay where you are, you jade, and may the curse of Judas cling to you,—stay with the bit of a mullo whom you helped, and my only hope is that he may gulley you before he comes to be. . . . Have you with us, indeed! after what’s past! no, nor nothing belonging to you. Fetch down your mailla go-cart and live here with your chabo.’ She then whipped on the horse, and ascended the pass, followed by the man. The carts were light, and they were notlong in ascending the winding path. I followed to see that they took their departure. Arriving at the top, I found near the entrance a small donkey-cart, which I concluded belonged to the girl. The tinker and his mort were already at some distance; I stood looking after them for a little time, then taking the donkey by the reins I led it with the cart to the bottom of the dingle. Arrived there, I found Belle seated on the stone by the fireplace. Her hair was all dishevelled, and she was in tears.
‘They were bad people,’ said she, ‘and I did not like them, but they were my only acquaintance in the wide world.’
The blow which I struck the Tinker
at tea—vapours—isopel berners—softly and kindly—sweet pretty creature—bread and water—truth and constancy—very strangely
In the evening of that same day the tall girl and I sat at tea by the fire, at the bottom of the dingle; the girl on a small stool, and myself, as usual, upon my stone.
The water which served for the tea had been taken from a spring of pellucid water in the neighbourhood, which I had not had the good fortune to discover, though it was well known to my companion, and to the wandering people who frequented the dingle.
‘This tea is very good,’ said I, ‘but I cannot enjoy it as much as if I were well: I feel very sadly.’
‘How else should you feel,’ said the girl, ‘after fighting with the flaming Tinman? All I wonder at is that you can feel at all! As for the tea, it ought to be good, seeing that it cost me ten shillings a pound.’
‘That’s a great deal for a person in your station to pay.’
‘In my station! I’d have you to know, young man—however, I haven’t the heart to quarrel with you, you look so ill; and after all, it is a good sum for one to pay who travels the roads; but if I must have tea, I like to have the best; and tea I must have, for I am used to it, though I can’t help thinking that it sometimes fills my head with strange fancies—what some folks call vapours, making me weep and cry.’
‘Dear me,’ said I, ‘I should never have thought that one of your size and fierceness would weep and cry!’
‘My size and fierceness! I tell you what, young man, you are not over civil this evening; but you are ill, as I said before, and I shan’t take much notice of your language, at least for the present; as for my size, I am not so much bigger than yourself; and as for being fierce, you should be the last one to fling that at me. It is well for you that I can be fierce sometimes. If I hadn’t taken your part against Blazing Bosville, you wouldn’t be now taking tea with me.’
‘It is true that you struck me in the face first; but we’ll let that pass. So that man’s name is Bosville; what’s your own?’
‘Isopel Berners.’
‘How did you get that name?’
‘I say, young man, you seem fond of asking questions: will you have another cup of tea?’
‘I was just going to ask for another.’
‘Well, then, here it is, and much good may it do you; as for my name, I got it from my mother.’
‘Your mother’s name, then, was Isopel!’
‘Isopel Berners.’
‘But had you never a father?’
‘Yes, I had a father,’ said the girl, sighing, ‘but I don’t bear his name.’
‘Is it the fashion, then, in your country for children to bear their mother’s name?’
‘If you ask such questions, young man, I shall be angry with you. I have told you my name, and, whether my father’s or mother’s, I am not ashamed of it.’
‘It is a noble name.’
‘There you are right, young man. The chaplain in the great house where I was born told me it was a noble name; it was odd enough, he said, that the only three noble names in the county were to be found in the great house; mine was one; the other two were Devereux and Bohun.’
‘What do you mean by the great house?’
‘The workhouse.’
‘Is it possible that you were born there?’
‘Yes, young man; and as you now speak softly and kindly, I will tell you my whole tale. My father was an officer of the sea, and was killed at sea as he was coming home to marry my mother, Isopel Berners. He had been acquainted with her, and had left her; but after a few months he wrote her a letter, to say that he had no rest, and that he repented, and that as soon as his ship came to port he would do her all the reparationin his power. Well, young man, the very day before they reached port they met the enemy, and there was a fight, and my father was killed, after he had struck down six of the enemy’s crew on their own deck; for my father was a big man, as I have heard, and knew tolerably well how to use his hands. And when my mother heard the news, she became half distracted, and ran away into the fields and forests, totally neglecting her business, for she was a small milliner; and so she ran demented about the meads and forests for a long time, now sitting under a tree, and now by the side of a river—at last she flung herself into some water, and would have been drowned, had not some one been at hand and rescued her, whereupon she was conveyed to the great house, lest she should attempt to do herself further mischief, for she had neither friends nor parents—and there she died three months after, having first brought me into the world. She was a sweet pretty creature, I’m told, but hardly fit for this world, being neither large, nor fierce, nor able to take her own part. So I was born and bred in the great house, where I learnt to read and sew, to fear God, and to take my own part. When I was fourteen I was put out to service to a small farmer and his wife, with whom, however, I did not stay long, for I was half-starved, and otherwise ill treated, especially by my mistress, who one day attempting to knock me down with a besom, I knocked her down with my fist, and went back to the great house.’
‘And how did they receive you in the great house?’
‘Not very kindly, young man—on the contrary, I was put into a dark room, where I was kept a fortnight on bread and water; I did not much care, however, being glad to have got back to the great house at any rate—the place where I was born, and where my poor mother died; and in the great house I continued two years longer, reading and sewing, fearing God, and taking my own part when necessary. At the end of the two years I was again put out to service, but this time to a rich farmer and his wife, with whom, however, I did notlive long, less time, I believe, than with the poor ones, being obliged to leave for—’
‘Knocking your mistress down?’
‘No, young man, knocking my master down, who conducted himself improperly towards me. This time I did not go back to the great house, having a misgiving that they would not receive me; so I turned my back to the great house where I was born, and where my poor mother died, and wandered for several days I know not whither, supporting myself on a few halfpence which I chanced to have in my pocket. It happened one day, as I sat under a hedge crying, having spent my last farthing, that a comfortable-looking elderly woman came up in a cart, and seeing the state in which I was, she stopped and asked what was the matter with me; I told her some part of my story, whereupon she said, ‘Cheer up, my dear; if you like, you shall go with me, and wait upon me.’ Of course I wanted little persuasion, so I got into the cart and went with her. She took me to London and various other places, and I soon found that she was a travelling woman, who went about the country with silks and linen. I was of great use to her, more especially in those places where we met evil company. Once, as we were coming from Dover, we were met by two sailors, who stopped our cart, and would have robbed and stripped us. ‘Let me get down,’ said I; so I got down, and fought with them both, till they turned round and ran away. Two years I lived with the old gentlewoman, who was very kind to me, almost as kind as a mother; at last she fell sick at a place in Lincolnshire, and after a few days died, leaving me her cart and stock in trade, praying me only to see her decently buried—which I did, giving her a funeral fit for a gentlewoman. After which I travelled the country—melancholy enough for want of company, but so far fortunate that I could take my own part when anybody was uncivil to me. At last, passing through the valley of Todmorden, I formed the acquaintance of Blazing Bosville and his wife, with whom I occasionally took journeys for company’ssake, for it is melancholy to travel about alone, even when one can take one’s own part. I soon found they were evil people; but, upon the whole, they treated me civilly, and I sometimes lent them a little money, so that we got on tolerably well together. He and I, it is true, had once a dispute, and nearly came to blows; for once, when we were alone, he wanted me to marry him, promising, if I would, to turn off Grey Moll, or, if I liked it better, to make her wait upon me as a maid-servant; I never liked him much, but from that hour less than ever. Of the two, I believe Grey Moll to be the best, for she is at any rate true and faithful to him, and I like truth and constancy—don’t you, young man?’
‘Yes,’ said I, ‘they are very nice things. I feel very strangely.’
‘How do you feel, young man?’
‘Very much afraid.’
‘Afraid, at what? At the Flaming Tinman? Don’t be afraid of him. He won’t come back, and if he did, he shouldn’t touch you in this state, I’d fight him for you; but he won’t come back, so you needn’t be afraid of him.’
‘I’m not afraid of the Flaming Tinman.’
‘What, then, are you afraid of?’
‘The evil one.’
‘The evil one!’ said the girl, ‘where is he?’
‘Coming upon me.’
‘Never heed,’ said the girl, ‘I’ll stand by you.’
a hubbub of voices—no offence—the guests
The kitchen of the public-house was a large one, and many people were drinking in it; there was a confused hubbub of voices.
I sat down on a bench behind a deal table, of which there were three or four in the kitchen; presently a bulky man, in a green coat of the Newmarket cut, and without a hat, entered, and observing me, came up, and in rather a gruff tone cried, ‘Want anything, young fellow?’
‘Bring me a jug of ale,’ said I, ‘if you are the master, as I suppose you are, by that same coat of yours, and your having no hat on your head.’
‘Don’t be saucy, young fellow,’ said the landlord, for such he was; ‘don’t be saucy, or—’ Whatever he intended to say he left unsaid, for fixing his eyes upon one of my hands, which I had placed by chance upon the table, he became suddenly still.
This was my left hand, which was raw and swollen, from the blows dealt on a certain hard skull in a recent combat. ‘What do you mean by staring at my hand so?’ said I, withdrawing it from the table.
‘No offence, young man, no offence,’ said the landlord, in a quite altered tone; ‘but the sight of your hand—’ then observing that our conversation began to attract the notice of the guests in the kitchen, he interrupted himself, saying in an undertone, ‘But mum’s the word for the present, I will go and fetch the ale.’
In about a minute he returned, with a jug of ale foaming high. ‘Here’s your health,’ said he, blowing off the foam, and drinking; but perceiving that I looked rather dissatisfied, he murmured, ‘All’s right, I glory in you; but mum’s the word.’ Then, placing the jug on the table, he gave me a confidential nod, and swaggered out of the room.
What can the silly impertinent fellow mean? thought I; but the ale was now before me, and I hastened to drink, for myweakness was great, and my mind was full of dark thoughts, the remains of the indescribable horror of the preceding night. It may kill me, thought I, as I drank deep—but who cares? anything is better than what I have suffered. I drank deep, and then leaned back against the wall: it appeared as if a vapour was stealing up into my brain, gentle and benign, soothing and stilling the horror and the fear; higher and higher it mounted, and I felt nearly overcome; but the sensation was delicious, compared with that I had lately experienced, and now I felt myself nodding; and, bending down, I laid my head on the table on my folded hands.
And in that attitude I remained some time, perfectly unconscious. At length, by degrees, perception returned, and I lifted up my head. I felt somewhat dizzy and bewildered, but the dark shadow had withdrawn itself from me. And now once more I drank of the jug; this second draught did not produce an overpowering effect upon me—it revived and strengthened me—I felt a new man.
I looked around me; the kitchen had been deserted by the greater part of the guests; besides myself, only four remained; these were seated at the farther end. One was haranguing fiercely and eagerly; he was abusing England, and praising America. At last he exclaimed, ‘So when I gets to New York, I will toss up my hat, and damn the King.’
That man must be a Radical, thought I.
a radical—simple-looking man—church of england—the president—aristocracy—gin and water—mending the roads—persecuting church—simon de montfort—broken bells—get up—not for the pope—quay of new york—mumpers’ dingle—no wish to fight—first draught—half a crown broke
The individual whom I supposed to be a Radical, after a short pause, again uplifted his voice; he was rather a strong-built fellow of about thirty, with an ill-favoured countenance, a white hat on his head, a snuff-coloured coat on his back, and when he was not speaking, a pipe in his mouth. ‘Who would live in such a country as England?’ he shouted.
‘There is no country like America,’ said his nearest neighbour, a man also in a white hat, and of a very ill-favoured countenance—‘there is no country like America,’ said he, withdrawing a pipe from his mouth; ‘I think I shall—’ and here he took a draught from a jug, the contents of which he appeared to have in common with the other,—‘go to America one of these days myself.’
‘Poor old England is not such a bad country, after all,’ said a third, a simple-looking man in a labouring dress, who sat smoking a pipe without anything before him. ‘If there was but a little more work to be got, I should have nothing to say against her; I hope, however—’
‘You hope! who cares what you hope?’ interrupted the first, in a savage tone; ‘you are one of those sneaking hounds who are satisfied with dogs’ wages—a bit of bread and a kick. Work, indeed! who, with the spirit of a man, would work for a country where there is neither liberty of speech nor of action? a land full of beggarly aristocracy, hungry borough-mongers, insolent parsons, and “their . . . wives and daughters,” as William Cobbett says in his “Register.”’
‘Ah, the Church of England has been a source of incalculable mischief to these realms,’ said another.
The person who uttered these words sat rather aloof fromthe rest; he was dressed in a long black surtout. I could not see much of his face, partly owing to his keeping it very much directed to the ground, and partly owing to a large slouched hat which he wore; I observed, however, that his hair was of a reddish tinge. On the table near him was a glass and spoon.
‘You are quite right,’ said the first, alluding to what this last had said, ‘the Church of England has done incalculable mischief here. I value no religion three halfpence, for I believe in none; but the one that I hate most is the Church of England; so when I get to New York, after I have shown the fine fellows on the quay a spice of me, by . . . the King, I’ll toss up my hat again, and . . . the Church of England too.’
‘And suppose the people of New York should clap you in the stocks?’ said I.
These words drew upon me the attention of the whole four. The Radical and his companion stared at me ferociously; the man in black gave me a peculiar glance from under his slouched hat; the simple-looking man in the labouring dress laughed.
‘What are you laughing at, you fool?’ said the Radical, turning and looking at the other, who appeared to be afraid of him; ‘hold your noise; and a pretty fellow, you,’ said he, looking at me, ‘to come here, and speak against the great American nation.’
‘I speak against the great American nation!’ said I; ‘I rather paid them a compliment.’
‘By supposing they would put me in the stocks. Well, I call it abusing them, to suppose they would do any such thing—stocks, indeed!’—there are no stocks in all the land. Put me in the stocks! why, the President will come down to the quay, and ask me to dinner, as soon as he hears what I have said about the King and Church.’
‘I shouldn’t wonder,’ said I, ‘if you go to America you will say of the President and country what now you say of theKing and Church, and cry out for somebody to send you back to England.’
The Radical dashed his pipe to pieces against the table. ‘I tell you what, young fellow, you are a spy of the aristocracy, sent here to kick up a disturbance.’
‘Kicking up a disturbance,’ said I, ‘is rather inconsistent with the office of spy. If I were a spy, I should hold my head down, and say nothing.’
The man in black partially raised his head, and gave me another peculiar glance.
‘Well, if you aren’t sent to spy, you are sent to bully, to prevent people speaking, and to run down the great American nation; but you shan’t bully me. I say, down with the aristocracy, the beggarly British aristocracy. Come, what have you to say to that?’
‘Nothing,’ said I.
‘Nothing!’ repeated the Radical.
‘No,’ said I, ‘down with them as soon as you can.’
‘As soon as I can! I wish I could. But I can down with a bully of theirs. Come, will you fight for them?’
‘No,’ said I.
‘You won’t?’
‘No,’ said I; ‘though, from what I have seen of them, I should say they are tolerably able to fight for themselves.’
‘You won’t fight for them,’ said the Radical triumphantly; ‘I thought so; all bullies, especially those of the aristocracy, are cowards. Here, landlord,’ said he, raising his voice, and striking against the table with the jug, ‘some more ale—he won’t fight for his friends.’
‘A white feather,’ said his companion.
‘He! he!’ tittered the man in black.
‘Landlord, landlord,’ shouted the Radical, striking the table with the jug louder than before. ‘Who called?’ said the landlord, coming in at last. ‘Fill this jug again,’ said the other, ‘and be quick about it.’ ‘Does any one else want anything?’said the landlord. ‘Yes,’ said the man in black; ‘you may bring me another glass of gin and water.’ ‘Cold!’ said the landlord. ‘Yes,’ said the man in black, ‘with a lump of sugar in it.’
‘Gin and water cold, with a lump of sugar in it,’ said I, and struck the table with my fist.
‘Take some!’ said the landlord inquiringly.
‘No,’ said I, ‘only something came into my head.’
‘He’s mad,’ said the man in black.
‘Not he,’ said the Radical. ‘He’s only shamming; he knows his master is here, and therefore has recourse to these manœuvres, but it won’t do. Come, landlord, what are you staring at? Why don’t you obey your orders? Keeping your customers waiting in this manner is not the way to increase your business.’
The landlord looked at the Radical, and then at me. At last, taking the jug and glass, he left the apartment, and presently returned with each filled with its respective liquor. He placed the jug with beer before the Radical, and the glass with the gin and water before the man in black, and then, with a wink to me, he sauntered out.
‘Here is your health, sir,’ said the man of the snuff-coloured coat, addressing himself to the one in black; ‘I honour you for what you said about the Church of England. Everyone who speaks against the Church of England has my warm heart. Down with it, I say, and may the stones of it be used for mending the roads, as my friend William says in his “Register.”’
The man in black, with a courteous nod of his head, drank to the man in the snuff-coloured coat. ‘With respect to the steeples,’ said he, ‘I am not altogether of your opinion; they might be turned to better account than to serve to mend the roads; they might still be used as places of worship, but not for the worship of the Church of England. I have no fault to find with the steeples, it is the Church itself which I am compelledto arraign; but it will not stand long, the respectable part of its ministers are already leaving it. It is a bad Church, a persecuting Church.’
‘Whom does it persecute?’ said I.
The man in black glanced at me slightly, and then replied slowly, ‘The Catholics.’
‘And do those whom you call Catholics never persecute?’ said I.
‘Never,’ said the man in black.
‘Did you ever read Foxe’sBook of Martyrs?’ said I.
‘He! he!’ tittered the man in black; ‘there is not a word of truth in Foxe’sBook of Martyrs.’
‘Ten times more than in theFlos Sanctorum,’ said I.
The man in black looked at me, but made no answer.
‘And what say you to the Massacre of the Albigenses and the Vaudois, “whose bones lie scattered on the cold Alp,” or the Revocation of the Edict of Nantes?’
The man in black made no answer.
‘Go to,’ said I; ‘it is because the Church of England is not a persecuting church, that those whom you call the respectable part are leaving her; it is because they can’t do with the poor Dissenters what Simon de Montfort did with the Albigenses, and the cruel Piedmontese with the Vaudois, that they turn to bloody Rome; the Pope will no doubt welcome them, for the Pope, do you see, being very much in want, will welcome—’
‘Hollo!’ said the Radical, interfering, ‘what are you saying about the Pope? I say, hurrah for the Pope; I value no religion three halfpence, as I said before, but if I were to adopt any, it should be the Popish as it’s called, because I conceives the Popish to be the grand enemy of the Church of England, of the beggarly aristocracy, and the borough-monger system, so I won’t hear the Pope abused while I am by. Come, don’t look fierce. You won’t fight, you know, I have proved it; but I will give you another chance—I will fight for the Pope, will you fight against him?’
‘Oh dear me, yes,’ said I, getting up and stepping forward. ‘I am a quiet peaceable young man, and, being so, am always ready to fight against the Pope—the enemy of all peace and quiet; to refuse fighting for the aristocracy is a widely different thing from refusing to fight against the Pope; so come on if you are disposed to fight for him. To the Pope broken bells, to Saint James broken shells. No Popish vile oppression, but the Protestant succession. Confusion to the Groyne, hurrah for the Boyne, for the army at Clonmel, and the Protestant young gentlemen who live there as well.’
‘An Orangeman,’ said the man in black.
‘Not a Platitude,’ said I.
The man in black gave a slight start.
‘Amongst that family,’ said I, ‘no doubt, something may be done, but amongst the Methodist preachers I should conceive that the success would not be great.’
The man in black sat quite still.
‘Especially amongst those who have wives,’ I added.
The man in black stretched his hand towards his gin and water.
‘However,’ said I, ‘we shall see what the grand movement will bring about, and the results of the lessons in elocution.’
The man in black lifted the glass up to his mouth, and, in doing so, let the spoon fall.
‘But what has this to do with the main question?’ said I; ‘I am waiting here to fight against the Pope.’
‘Come, Hunter,’ said the companion of the man in the snuff-coloured coat, ‘get up, and fight for the Pope.’
‘I don’t care for the young fellow,’ said the man in the snuff-coloured coat.
‘I know you don’t,’ said the other, ‘so get up, and serve him out.’
‘I could serve out three like him,’ said the man in the snuff-coloured coat.
‘So much the better for you,’ said the other, ‘the presentwork will be all the easier for you, get up, and serve him out at once.’
The man in the snuff-coloured coat did not stir.
‘Who shows the white feather now?’ said the simple-looking man.
‘He! he! he!’ tittered the man in black.
‘Who told you to interfere?’ said the Radical, turning ferociously towards the simple-looking man; ‘say another word and I’ll—’ ‘And you!’ said he, addressing himself to the man in black, ‘a pretty fellow you to turn against me, after I had taken your part. I tell you what, you may fight for yourself. I’ll see you and your Pope in the pit of Eldon before I fight for either of you, so make the most of it.’
‘Then you won’t fight?’ said I.
‘Not for the Pope,’ said the Radical; ‘I’ll see the Pope—’
‘Dear me!’ said I, ‘not fight for the Pope, whose religion you would turn to, if you were inclined for any. I see how it is, you are not fond of fighting; but I’ll give you another chance—you were abusing the Church of England just now: I’ll fight for it—will you fight against it?’
‘Come, Hunter,’ said the other, ‘get up, and fight against the Church of England.’
‘I have no particular quarrel against the Church of England,’ said the man in the snuff-coloured coat, ‘my quarrel is with the aristocracy. If I said anything against the Church, it was merely for a bit of corollary, as Master William Cobbett would say; the quarrel with the Church belongs to this fellow in black, so let him carry it on. However,’ he continued suddenly, ‘I won’t slink from the matter either; it shall never be said by the fine fellows on the quay of New York that I wouldn’t fight against the Church of England. So down with the beggarly aristocracy, the Church, and the Pope to the bottom of the pit of Eldon, and may the Pope fall first, and the others upon him.’
Thereupon, dashing his hat on the table, he placed himselfin an attitude of offence and rushed forward. He was, as I have said before, a powerful fellow, and might have proved a dangerous antagonist, more especially to myself, who, after my recent encounter with the Flaming Tinman, and my wrestlings with the evil one, was in anything but fighting order. Any collision, however, was prevented by the landlord, who, suddenly appearing, thrust himself between us. ‘There shall be no fighting here,’ said he; ‘no one shall fight in this house, except it be with myself; so if you two have anything to say to each other, you had better go into the field behind the house. But, you fool,’ said he, pushing Hunter violently on the breast, ‘do you know whom you are going to tackle with?—this is the young chap that beat Blazing Bosville, only as late as yesterday, in Mumpers’ Dingle. Grey Moll told me all about it last night, when she came for some brandy for her husband, who, she said, had been half killed; and she described the young man to me so closely that I knew him at once, that is, as soon as I saw how his left hand was bruised, for she told me he was a left-hand hitter. Aren’t it all true, young man? Aren’t you he that beat Flaming Bosville, in Mumpers’ Dingle?’ ‘I never beat Flaming Bosville,’ said I, ‘he beat himself. Had he not struck his hand against a tree, I shouldn’t be here at the present moment.’ ‘Hear, hear!’ said the landlord, ‘now that’s just as it should be; I like a modest man, for, as the parson says, nothing sits better upon a young man than modesty. I remember, when I was young, fighting with Tom of Hopton, the best man that ever pulled off coat in England. I remember, too, that I won the battle; for I happened to hit Tom of Hopton in the mark, as he was coming in, so that he lost his wind, and falling squelch on the ground, do ye see, he lost the battle, though I am free to confess that he was a better man than myself; indeed, the best man that ever fought in England; yet still, I won the battle, as every customer of mine, and everybody within twelve miles round, has heard over and over again. Now, Mr. Hunter, I have one thing to say, if you choose to go into thefield behind the house, and fight the young man, you can. I’ll back him for ten pounds; but no fighting in my kitchen—because why? I keeps a decent kind of an establishment.’
‘I have no wish to fight the young man,’ said Hunter; ‘more especially as he has nothing to say for the aristocracy. If he chose to fight for them, indeed—but he won’t, I know; for I see he’s a decent, respectable young man; and, after all fighting is a blackguard way of settling a dispute; so I have no wish to fight; however, there is one thing I’ll do,’ said he, uplifting his fist, ‘I’ll fight this fellow in black here for half a crown, or for nothing, if he pleases; it was he that got up the last dispute between me and the young man, with his Pope and his nonsense; so I will fight him for anything he pleases, and perhaps the young man will be my second; whilst you—’
‘Come, Doctor,’ said the landlord, ‘or whatsoever you be, will you go into the field with Hunter? I’ll second you, only you must back yourself. I’ll lay five pounds on Hunter, if you are inclined to back yourself; and will help you to win it as far, do you see, as a second can; because why? I always likes to do the fair thing.’
Isopel Berners
‘Oh, I have no wish to fight,’ said the man in black, hastily; ‘fighting is not my trade. If I have given any offence, I beg anybody’s pardon.’
‘Landlord,’ said I, ‘what have I to pay?’
‘Nothing at all,’ said the landlord; ‘glad to see you. This is the first time that you have been at my house, and I never charge new customers, at least customers such as you, anything for the first draught. You’ll come again, I daresay; shall always be glad to see you. I won’t take it,’ said he, as I put sixpence on the table; ‘I won’t take it.’
‘Yes, you shall,’ said I; ‘but not in payment for anything I have had myself: it shall serve to pay for a jug of ale for that gentleman,’ said I, pointing to the simple-looking individual; ‘he is smoking a poor pipe. I do not mean to say that a pipe is a bad thing; but a pipe without ale, do you see—’
‘Bravo!’ said the landlord, ‘that’s just the conduct I like.’
‘Bravo!’ said Hunter. ‘I shall be happy to drink with the young man whenever I meet him at New York, where, do you see, things are better managed than here.’
‘If I have given offence to anybody,’ said the man in black, ‘I repeat that I ask pardon,—more especially to the young gentleman, who was perfectly right to stand up for his religion, just as I—not that I am of any particular religion, no more than this honest gentleman here,’ bowing to Hunter; ‘but I happen to know something of the Catholics—several excellent friends of mine are Catholics—and of a surety the Catholic religion is an ancient religion, and a widely-extended religion, though it certainly is not a universal religion, but it has of late made considerable progress, even amongst those nations who have been particularly opposed to it—amongst the Prussians and the Dutch, for example, to say nothing of the English; and then, in the East, amongst the Persians, amongst the Armenians.’
‘The Armenians,’ said I; ‘oh dear me, the Armenians—’
‘Have you anything to say about those people, sir?’ said the man in black, lifting up his glass to his mouth.
‘I have nothing further to say,’ said I, ‘than that the roots of Ararat are occasionally found to be deeper than those of Rome.’
‘There’s half a crown broke,’ said the landlord, as the man in black let fall the glass, which was broken to pieces on the floor. ‘You will pay me the damage, friend, before you leave this kitchen. I like to see people drink freely in my kitchen, but not too freely, and I hate breakages; because why? I keeps a decent kind of an establishment.’
the dingle—give them ale—not over complimentary—america—many people—washington—promiscuous company—language of the roads—the old women—some numerals—the man in black
The public-house where the scenes which I have attempted to describe in the preceding chapters took place, was at the distance of about two miles from the dingle. The sun was sinking in the west by the time I returned to the latter spot. I found Belle seated by a fire, over which her kettle was suspended. During my absence she had prepared herself a kind of tent, consisting of large hoops covered over with tarpauling, quite impenetrable to rain, however violent. ‘I am glad you are returned,’ said she, as soon as she perceived me; ‘I began to be anxious about you. Did you take my advice?’
‘Yes,’ said I; ‘I went to the public-house and drank ale, as you advised me; it cheered, strengthened, and drove away the horror from my mind—I am much beholden to you.’
‘I knew it would do you good,’ said Belle; ‘I remembered that when the poor women in the great house were afflicted with hysterics, and fearful imaginings, the surgeon, who was a good kind man, used to say, “Ale, give them ale, and let it be strong.”’
‘He was no advocate for tea, then?’ said I.
‘He had no objection to tea; but he used to say, “Everything in its season.” Shall we take ours now?—I have waited for you.’
‘I have no objection,’ said I; ‘I feel rather heated, and at present should prefer tea to ale—“Everything in its season,” as the surgeon said.’
Thereupon Belle prepared tea, and, as we were taking it, she said—‘What did you see and hear at the public-house?’
‘Really,’ said I, ‘you appear to have your full portion of curiosity; what matters it to you what I saw and heard at the public-house?’
‘It matters very little to me,’ said Belle; ‘I merely inquiredof you, for the sake of a little conversation—you were silent, and it is uncomfortable for two people to sit together without opening their lips—at least I think so.’
‘One only feels uncomfortable,’ said I, ‘in being silent, when one happens to be thinking of the individual with whom one is in company. To tell you the truth, I was not thinking of my companion, but of certain company with whom I had been at the public-house.’
‘Really, young man,’ said Belle, ‘you are not over complimentary; but who may this wonderful company have been—some young—?’ and here Belle stopped.
‘No,’ said I, ‘there was no young person—if person you were going to say. There was a big portly landlord, whom I daresay you have seen; a noisy savage Radical, who wanted at first to fasten upon me a quarrel about America, but who subsequently drew in his horns; then there was a strange fellow, a prowling priest, I believe, whom I have frequently heard of, who at first seemed disposed to side with the Radical against me, and afterwards with me against the Radical. There, you know my company, and what took place.’
‘Was there no one else?’ said Belle.
‘You are mighty curious,’ said I. ‘No, none else, except a poor simple mechanic, and some common company, who soon went away.’
Belle looked at me for a moment, and then appeared to be lost in thought—‘America!’ said she, musingly—‘America!’
‘What of America?’ said I.
‘I have heard that it is a mighty country.’
‘I daresay it is,’ said I; ‘I have heard my father say that the Americans are first-rate marksmen.’
‘I heard nothing about that,’ said Belle; ‘what I heard was, that it is a great and goodly land, where people can walk about without jostling, and where the industrious can always find bread; I have frequently thought of going thither.’
‘Well,’ said I, ‘the Radical in the public-house will perhapsbe glad of your company thither; he is as great an admirer of America as yourself, though I believe on different grounds.’
‘I shall go by myself,’ said Belle, ‘unless—unless that should happen which is not likely—I am not fond of Radicals no more than I am of scoffers and mockers.’
‘Do you mean to say that I am a scoffer and mocker?’
‘I don’t wish to say you are,’ said Belle; ‘but some of your words sound strangely like scoffing and mocking. I have now one thing to beg, which is, that if you have anything to say against America, you would speak it out boldly.’
‘What should I have to say against America? I never was there.’
‘Many people speak against America who never were there.’
‘Many people speak in praise of America who never were there; but with respect to myself, I have not spoken for or against America.’
‘If you liked America you would speak in its praise.’
‘By the same rule, if I disliked America I should speak against it.’
‘I can’t speak with you,’ said Belle; ‘but I see you dislike the country.’
‘The country!’
‘Well, the people—don’t you?’
‘I do.’
‘Why do you dislike them?’
‘Why, I have heard my father say that the American marksmen, led on by a chap of the name of Washington, sent the English to the right-about in double-quick time.’
‘And that is your reason for disliking the Americans?’
‘Yes,’ said I, ‘that is my reason for disliking them.’
‘Will you take another cup of tea?’ said Belle.
I took another cup; we were again silent. ‘It is rather uncomfortable,’ said I, at last, ‘for people to sit together without having anything to say.’
‘Were you thinking of your company?’ said Belle.
‘What company?’ said I.
‘The present company.’
‘The present company! oh, ah—I remember that I said one only feels uncomfortable in being silent with a companion, when one happens to be thinking of the companion. Well, I had been thinking of you the last two or three minutes, and had just come to the conclusion that, to prevent us both feeling occasionally uncomfortably towards each other, having nothing to say, it would be as well to have a standing subject on which to employ our tongues. Belle, I have determined to give you lessons in Armenian.’
‘What is Armenian?’
‘Did you ever hear of Ararat?’
‘Yes, that was the place where the ark rested; I have heard the chaplain in the great house talk of it; besides, I have read of it in the Bible.’
‘Well, Armenian is the speech of people of that place, and I should like to teach it you.’
‘To prevent—’
‘Ay, ay, to prevent our occasionally feeling uncomfortable together. Your acquiring it besides might prove of ulterior advantage to us both; for example, suppose you and I were in promiscuous company, at Court, for example, and you had something to communicate to me which you did not wish any one else to be acquainted with, how safely you might communicate it to me in Armenian.’
‘Would not the language of the roads do as well?’ said Belle.
‘In some places it would,’ said I, ‘but not at Court, owing to its resemblance to thieves’ slang. There is Hebrew, again, which I was thinking of teaching you, till the idea of being presented at Court made me abandon it, from the probability of our being understood, in the event of our speaking it, by at least half a dozen people in our vicinity. There is Latin, it is true, or Greek, which we might speak aloud at Court withperfect confidence of safety, but upon the whole I should prefer teaching you Armenian, not because it would be a safer language to hold communication with at Court, but because, not being very well grounded in it myself, I am apprehensive that its words and forms may escape from my recollection, unless I have sometimes occasion to call them forth.’
‘I am afraid we shall have to part company before I have learnt it,’ said Belle; ‘in the meantime, if I wish to say anything to you in private, somebody being by, shall I speak in the language of the roads?’
‘If no roadster is nigh you may,’ said I, ‘and I will do my best to understand you. Belle, I will now give you a lesson in Armenian.’
‘I suppose you mean no harm,’ said Belle.
‘Not in the least; I merely propose the thing to prevent our occasionally feeling uncomfortable together. Let us begin.’
‘Stop till I have removed the tea things,’ said Belle; and, getting up, she removed them to her own encampment.