Sultan Mangogul in Haria's chamber.
Sultan Mangogul in Haria's chamber.
Mangogul went immediately to Haria's house; and as he took pleasure in soliloquy, he said within himself: "This woman never goes to bed without her four dogs, and either Toys know nothing of those animals, or her's will give me some account of them; for, thank God, 'tis well known that she loves her dogs to admiration." At the end of this monology he found himself in Haria's anti-chamber, and his olfactory organ already informed him of madam having her usual company in bed with her. These were a little shag-dog, a spaniel, and two pug-dogs. The Sultan drew out his snuff-box, took two pinches of Spanish by way of preservative, and approached Haria. She was asleep, but the pack, who were upon the watch, hearing some noise, fell to barking, and woke her. "Peace, my children," said she, but in so mild a tone, that she could not be suspected of speaking to her daughters, "go to sleep, go to sleep, and don't disturb my rest nor your own."
Haria was formerly young and pretty. She had had lovers of her own rank, but they all disappear'd even sooner than her charms. By way of comforting herself for this desertion, she gave into a whimsical sort of pomp, and her footmen were the handsomest fellows in Banza. She grew older and older, and years threw her into oeconomy: she restrained herself to four dogs and two Bramins, and became a model of edification. And surely the most envenom'd satyr could find no room to carp at this management; and for above ten years Haria was in peaceful possession of a high reputation of virtue, and of those animals. Nay, her tenderness for the pug-dogs was so well known, that the Bramins were no longer suspected of sharing it.
Haria renewed her intreaty to those beasts, and they had the complaisance to obey. Then Mangogul applied his ring, and the superannuated Toy set about relating the last of its adventures. It was such a vast while since the first were atchieved, that it had almost lost the very remembrance of them. "Withdraw, Pompey," it said with a hoarse voice, "you fatigue me. I like Dido better; I find her more gentle." Pompey, who was absolutely ignorant of the Toy's voice, went on in his own way: but Haria awaking, continued. "Get away, then, you little rogue, you hinder me from taking rest. That is well some times: but too much is too much." Pompey withdrew. Dido took his place, and Haria fell asleep.
Mangogul, who had suspended the energy of his ring, turn'd it on, and the antiquated Toy, uttering a deep, sigh, fell to jabbering, and said: "Alas! how I am grieved for the death of my large grey-hound; she was the best little wife, the most caressing creature: she never ceased giving amusement. She was so sensible, so genteel. Ye are but beasts in comparison of her. That naughty master of mine killed her.——Poor Zinzolina, I never think of her, without watering my plants. I thought it would have been the death of my mistress. She neither eat nor drank for two days, and narrowly escaped losing her senses. Judge of her sorrow: her director, her friends, nay her very pug-dogs were kept from me. Orders were issued to her women to refuse the door of her appartment to my master, under the penalty of being turn'd off.——'That monster has robb'd me of my dear Zinzolina,' cried she; 'let him not appear before me, I am resolved never to see him more.'"
Mangogul, curious of learning the circumstances of Zinzolina's death, revived the electrical power of his ring by rubbing it on the skirt of his doublet, pointed it at Haria, and the Toy resumed: "Haria, Ramadec's widow, coiffed herself with Sindor. This youth was of good birth, had no other fortune, but a certain merit which pleases the sex, and was, after dogs, Haria's predominant taste. Sindor's indigence conquered his repugnance to Haria's years and dogs. Twenty thousand crowns a year blinded his eyes with regard to the wrinkles of his mistress, and the inconveniency of the pug-dogs; and he married her.
"He was in hopes of getting the better of our beasts by his talents, and complaisant behavior; and to bring them into disgrace from the very commencement of his reign; but he was deceived. After the expiration of some months, when he thought he had merited much by his services; he took into his head to remonstrate to madam, that her dogs were not as good company in bed for him as for her; that it was ridiculous to have more than three; and that to admit more than one at a time, was turning the nuptial bed into a kennel.
"'I advise you,' said Haria, in a furious tone, 'to attack me with such speeches. Truly it well becomes a pitiful younger son from Gascony, whom I have taken from a garret, which was not good enough for my dogs, to give himself airs of nicety! To be sure, your sheets were perfumed, my little squire, when you dwelt in furnish'd lodgings. Know this once for all, that my dogs were long before you in possession of my bed, and that you may choose either to quit it, or be content to share it with them.'
"The declaration was peremptory, and our dogs remain'd masters of their post. But one night, as we were all asleep, Sindor, in turning unluckily kick'd Zinzolina. The hound, not used to such treatment, bit the calf of his leg; and madam was immediately awaked by Sindor's cries. 'What is the matter with you, Sir, one would think your throat was cutting: you dream.' 'It is your dogs, madam, that devour me, and your grey-hound has just torn off a piece of my leg.' 'Is that all?' says Haria, turning from him. 'You make a vast noise for nothing.'
"Sindor, piqued at this discourse, jump'd out of bed, swearing that he would never set his foot in it again, till the pack was banish'd thence. He employ'd friends, in order to obtain the exile of the dogs: but they all failed in that important negotiation. Haria's answer to them was, that Sindor was a knight of the post, whom she had drawn out of a cock-loft, which he shared with rats and mice; that it ill became him to be so nice; that he slept the whole night long; that she loved her dogs; that they amused her; that from her infancy she had taken a liking to their caresses; and that she was resolved never to deprive herself of them till death. 'Tell him besides,' continued she, addressing the mediators, 'that if he does not humbly submit to my will, he will repent it while he lives; that I will retract the donation I have made him, and will add it to the sums which I have bequeathed by my will, for the support of my dear children.'
"Between you and me," added the Toy, "Sindor must have been a great fool, to hope that she would do for him, what could not be obtained by twenty lovers, a director, a confessor, with a legion of Bramins, who had all lost their Latin on that head. Mean while, as often as Sindor met our animals, he was seized with such fits of passion, as he could hardly conquer. One day the unfortunate Zinzolina fell in his way. He took her by the neck, and threw her out of the window. The poor creature was kill'd by the fall. Then it was, that a fine noise was made. Haria, with inflamed countenance, and eyes bathed in tears——"
The Toy was going to repeat what it had already told; for Toys willingly fall into repetitions: but Mangogul cut its words short. Its silence was not of long duration: when the prince thought he had put this doting Toy out of its road, he restored it the freedom of speech; and the Tatler, bursting out into a loud laugh, resumed by way of recollection: "Butà propos, I forgot to tell you what pass'd on Haria's wedding-night. I have seen a power of ridiculous things in my life, but never one that came up to this. After a splendid supper, the bride and bridegroom were conduced to their appartment. Every body retired except madam's women who undress her: she is undress'd, put to bed, and Sindor alone remains with her. Observing that the shag-dog, the two pugs, and the grey-hound, more alert than himself, were taking possession of his bride; 'permit me, madam,' he said, 'to remove these rivals a little.' 'My dear, do what you can,' answered Haria: 'for my part, I have not the courage to drive them away; these little animals are so attached to me; and I have been so long without any other company.' 'Perhaps,' replied Sindor, 'they will have the politeness this night to surrender the fort to me, which I must take possession of.' 'Try, sir,' said Haria.
"At first Sindor tried gentle means, and pray'd Zinzolina to retire to a corner. But the untractable animal fell to growling: the allarm spread among the rest of the troop; and the pug-dogs and shag-dog bark'd as if their mistress's throat was cutting. Sindor, losing all patience at this noise, tosses away one of the pugs, drives off the other, and seizes Pompey by the paw. Pompey, the faithful Pompey, abandoned by his allies, endeavour'd to repair this loss by the advantages of the post. Fix'd on his mistress's thighs, with eyes inflamed, hair standing an end, and open mouth, he grin'd, and shew'd the enemy two rows of very sharp teeth. Sindor made several assaults on him, and Pompey repell'd him as often, with bitten fingers and torn ruffles. The action lasted above a quarter of an hour with an obstinacy which gave diversion to none but Haria; when Sindor had recourse to a stratagem against an enemy, whom he despaired conquering by force. He provoked Pompey with the right hand. Pompey watching this motion, did not observe that of the left, and was seized by the neck. He made most vigorous efforts to disengage himself, but in vain. He was obliged to quit the field of battle, and surrender up Haria. Sindor took possession of her, but not without effusion of blood: in all likelihood Haria had resolved that her wedding-night should be a bloody one: her animals made a good defence, and disappointed not her expectations."
"There," says Mangogul, "is a Toy, that could write a Gazette better than my secretary." And now well knowing what notions to form of lap dogs, he return'd to the favorite.
"Prepare yourself," said he, as soon as he saw her, "to hear the most extravagant things in the world. 'Tis much worse than the baboons of Palabria. Could you believe, that Haria's four dogs were the rivals, and the preferred rivals of her husband; and that the death of a greyhound has raised a quarrel between that couple, never to be made up."
"What do you say," replied the favorite, "of rivals and dogs. I am quite in the dark. I know that Haria loves her dogs excessively; but I know at the same time that Sindor is a hot-temper'd man, who perhaps did not use all that complaisance, which women require, to whom a man owes his fortune. But yet, whatever has been his conduct, I cannot conceive that it has drawn rivals on him. Haria is so venerable, that I could wish your highness would vouchsafe to explain yourself more intelligibly."
"Listen," says Mangogul, "and agree that women have excessively whimsical tastes, to say nothing worse;" then he related Haria's history to her word for word, as the Toy had told it. Mirzoza could not refrain from laughter at the first night's battle: but presently resuming a serious air: "I can't tell," said she to Mangogul, "what indignation seizes me. I shall have an aversion for these animals and all those who keep any, and I shall declare to my women that I will turn off the first, who shall be even suspected of having a lap-dog."
"Pray," replied the Sultan, "why will you extend your hatred so far? You women are always upon extremes. These animals are good for hunting, are necessary in the country, and have many other uses, without reckoning that which Haria makes of them."
"In truth," said Mirzoza, "I begin to believe that your highness will find it a difficult task to light on a virtuous woman."
"I told you so," answered Mangogul; "but let us not be over hasty: you may one time or other upbraid me with being indebted to your want of patience for a declaration, which I pretend to owe entirely to the trials of my ring. I have some in my mind, which will astonish you. All secrets are not yet unveiled; and I expect to draw more important discoveries from those Toys, which remain to be consulted."
Mirzoza was in perpetual apprehensions for her own. Mangogul's discourse threw her into such uneasiness, as she was not able to conceal from him: but the Sultan, who had bound himself by an oath, and in his heart had a regard for religion, used his best endeavours to calm her mind, gave her some very tender kisses, and went to his council, whither affairs of moment called him.
Congo had been disturbed by bloody wars in the reigns of Kanaglou and Erguebzed; and those two monarchs had immortalized themselves by the conquests they had made over their neighbours. The emperors of Abex and Angola look'd on the youth of Mangogul and the beginning of his reign, as favourable conjunctures to recover the provinces that had been taken from them. Wherefore they declared war against Congo, and attacked it on every side. Mangogul had the best council in all Africa: and old Sambuco and the Emir Mirzala, who were train'd up in the former wars, were placed at the head of the troops, gain'd victories on victories, and formed generals capable of succeeding them; an advantage of greater importance than even their successes.
Thanks to the activity of the council, and the good conduct of the generals, the enemy, who thought themselves sure of overcoming the empire, did not advance as far as the frontiers, made a poor defence of their own, and saw their fortified towns and provinces ravaged. But, such constant and glorious successes notwithstanding, Congo grew weaker by aggrandizing itself: the frequent raising of troops unpeopled the towns and country: and the treasury was exhausted.
The sieges and battles had cost a vast number of lives: the grand Visir, very lavish of the blood of the soldiery, was accused of having hazarded battles that tended to nothing. Every family was in mourning: not one, but wept a father, a brother, or a friend. The number of officers slain was prodigious; and could be compared to naught but their wives, who sollicited pensions. The closets of the ministers were beset with them. They pestered the Sultan himself with petitions, in which the merit and services of the deceased, the grief of their widows, the dismal condition of their children, and other moving motives were not forgotten. Nothing seemed more equitable than their requests: but on what fund to ground pensions which amounted to millions?
The ministers, after having exhausted speeches, and sometimes peevishness and rough language, were obliged to deliberate on the means of bringing this affair to a final issue: but they had an excellent reason for concluding nothing: there was not a penny left.
Mangogul, tired with the false reasonings of his ministers and the lamentations of the widows, hit upon the expedient, which his ministry had been so long hunting after. "Gentlemen," said he to his council, "I am of opinion that, before any pensions are granted, it would be proper to examine if they are lawfully due." "This examination," answered the great Seneschal, "will be immense, and of prodigious discussion. Yet how to resist the clamors and persecution of these women, by whom you, sir, are particularly teazed?" "It will not be as difficult a talk as you imagine, Mr. Seneschal," replied the Sultan; "and I promise you that by to morrow noon the whole affair shall be terminated, by the laws of the strictest equity. Do you only bring them to my audience chamber by nine in the morning."
The council broke up, the Seneschal went into his office, pondered profoundly, and drew up the following proclamation; which in three hours time was printed, published by sound of trumpet, and fixed up at all the most public places of Banza.
By the Sultan's most excellent majesty, and my lord the grand Seneschal,We Gander-beak, grand Seneschal of Congo, visir of the first bench, train-bearer to the great Manimonbanda, chief and super-intendant of the sweepers of the divan, give notice, that to-morrow morning at nine of the clock, the magnanimous Sultan will give audience to the widows of the officers slain in his service, in order to decree, on sight of their pretensions, what to him shall seem meet. Given at our office the twelfth of the moon of Regeb, in the year 147200000009.
By the Sultan's most excellent majesty, and my lord the grand Seneschal,
We Gander-beak, grand Seneschal of Congo, visir of the first bench, train-bearer to the great Manimonbanda, chief and super-intendant of the sweepers of the divan, give notice, that to-morrow morning at nine of the clock, the magnanimous Sultan will give audience to the widows of the officers slain in his service, in order to decree, on sight of their pretensions, what to him shall seem meet. Given at our office the twelfth of the moon of Regeb, in the year 147200000009.
All the distressed women of Congo, and a great number of them there was, did not fail to read the proclamation, or to send their footmen to read it; and less still to be at the appointed hour, in the lobby of the audience chamber. "In order to avoid a crowd, let no more enter," said the Sultan, "than six of these ladies at once. When we have heard them, let them pass thro' the back door, which leads to the outward courts. You, gentlemen, be attentive, and pronounce on their demands."
This said, he made a signal to the first gentleman usher of the audiences; and the six, who happen'd to be next the door, were introduced. They entered in long mourning robes, and made low reverences to his highness. Mangogul addressed the youngest and handsomest of them, whose name was Ifec. "Madam," said he, "how long is it since you have lost your husband?" "Three months," answered Ifec weeping. "He was lieutenant general in your highness's service. He was kill'd in the last battle, and six children are the only legacy he left me"—"He left you?" interrupted a voice, which, tho' issuing from Ifec, was not exactly in the same tone with her's. "Madam knows better than she says. They were all begun and finished by a young Bramin, who daily came to comfort her, while my master was in the field."
'Tis easy to guess, whence proceeded the indiscreet voice, which pronounced this answer. Poor Ifec, being put out of countenance, grew pale, trembled, fainted. "Madam is subject to the vapors," said Mangogul with an air of tranquillity: "let her be carried into an appartment of the Seraglio, and be taken care of." Then immediately addressing Phenice: "Madam," said he, "was not your husband a Pacha?" "Yes, sir," answered Phenice in a trembling voice. "And how have you lost him?" "Sir, he died in his bed, quite exhausted with the fatigues of the last campaign"—"With the fatigues of the last campaign," replied Phenice's Toy. "Go, madam, your husband brought a firm and vigorous state of health from the camp; and he would still enjoy it, had not two or three scoundrel players,—you understand me, take care of yourself." "Write," says the Sultan, "that Phenice demands a pension, for the good services, which she has rendered to the state and her husband."
A third was interrogated on her husband's age and name, who was said to have died in the army of the small-pox. "Of the small pox," said the Toy, "a fine story indeed: say, madam, of two good strokes of a scymeter which he received from the Sangiac Cavaglio, because he took it ill, that his eldest son was said to be as like the Sangiac, as one egg is to another: and madam knows as well as I," added the Toy, "that a likeness was never better grounded."
The fourth was going to speak without being interrogated by Mangogul, when her Toy was heard to cry out from the lower regions, that these ten years part, which the war had lasted, she had made pretty good use of her time; that two pages and a huge scoundrel of a footman had supplied her husband's place; and that without doubt she designed the pension, which she was solliciting, for keeping an actor of the comic opera.
A fifth stept forward with intrepidity, and with an air of confidence demanded the reward of her late husband's services, who was an aga of the Janissaries, and lost his life under the walls of Matatras. The Sultan turn'd his ring on her, but to no purpose. Her Toy was mute. "I must own," says the African author, who had seen her, "that she was so ugly, that the by-standers would be astonished, if her Toy had any thing to say."
Mangogul was got to the sixth, and here are the express words of her Toy. "Truly, it well becomes madam," meaning her, whose Toy was obstinately silent, "to sollicite pensions, while she lives upon the poule, keeps a breland table which brings her in three thousand sequins a year, makes private suppers at the expence of the gamesters, and received six hundred sequins from Osman, to draw me to one of these suppers, where the treacherous Osman——"
"Due regard shall be paid to your petitions, ladies," said the Sultan: "for the present ye may withdraw." Then directing his words to his counsellors, he ask'd them, if it did not seem ridiculous to them to grant pensions to a herd of little bastards of Bramins and others, and to women whose employment it was to dishonor brave men, who had enter'd into his service in quest of glory, at the expence of their lives.
The Seneschal stood up, answered, declaimed, resumed, and gave his opinion obscurely as usual. While he was yet speaking, Ifec recovered from her fit, quite enraged at her adventure; and, as she expected no pension for herself, and would run distracted, if any other obtain'd one, which would have happened in all likelihood, she went directly into the antichamber, and whispered to two or three of her female friends, that they were summoned thither purely to hear their Toys chatter; that she herself heard one deliver horrid things in the audience chamber; that she would not name it for the world; but that they must be fools, to expose themselves to the same danger.
This advice passed from hand to hand, and dispersed the crowd of widows. When the gentleman usher opened the door to let in a second parcel, not one was there. "Well, Seneschal, will you believe me another time?" said Mangogul informed of the desertion, to the good man, clapping him on the shoulder. "I promised to rid you of these female weepers, and I have done it. Yet they were very assiduous in making court to you, notwithstanding your fourscore and fifteen years of age. But whatever pretensions you may possibly have: for I am not ignorant of the facility you had to form pretensions on these ladies, I fancy you are obliged to me for their retreat. They gave you moreembarrasthan pleasure."
The African author informs us, that the remembrance of this trial is kept up in Congo; and for that reason it is, that the government is so sparing of granting pensions: but this was not the only good effect of Cucufa's ring, as we shall see in the following chapter.
Rapes were severely punished in Congo: and there happened a most notorious one in Mangogul's reign. This prince, at his accession to the crown, had sworn, like all his predecessors, never to grant a pardon for that crime: but be laws ever so severe, they seldom curb those, whom a considerable advantage urges to infringe them. The criminal was condemned to lose that part of him, by which he had sinned; a cruel operation, of which he generally died; as the person who performed it, used less precaution than B——ll.
Kerfael, a young man of a good family, had now languished six months in a dungeon, waiting for the day of execution. Fatme, a young pretty woman, was his Lucretia and accuser. Every body knew, that they had been very well together: Fatme's indulgent husband took no exceptions against it: therefore it would be ungenteel in the public to intermeddle in their affairs.
After an undisturbed commerce of two years, whether thro' inconstancy or disgust, Kerfael took to a dancer at the opera of Banza, and grew cold towards Fatme, yet without coming to an open rupture. He resolved to make a decent retreat; which obliged him to continue his visits in the house. Fatme enraged for being thus forsaken, meditated revenge, and made use of this remnant of his assiduities to destroy her unfaithful lover.
One day, that the convenient husband had left themtête à tête, and that Kerfael, having ungirt his scymeter, was endeavouring to allay Fatme's suspicions by protestations, which cost nothing to lovers, but never surprize the credulity of a jealous woman; she assumed an affrighted air, and having tore her dress at five or six pulls, shriek'd out horridly, and call'd to her husband and domestics for help; who ran immediately, and became witnesses to the injury, which Fatme said she received from Kerfael; and shewing the scymeter, added: "This the infamous villain lifted at my head ten times to make me submit to his will."
The young man, struck dumb at the blackness of the accusation, had not power either to answer or make his escape. He was seiz'd, dragg'd to prison, and deliver'd up to justice and the prosecution of the Cadilesker.
The laws ordained that Fatme should be visited. Accordingly she was; and the report of the matrons proved very unfavourable to the accused. They had an original standard, by which they could determine the condition of a violated woman; and every circumstance concurred against Kerfael. The judges examined him, Fatme was confronted with him, and the evidence was heard. In vain did he plead innocence, deny the fact, and demonstrate by the commerce which he held with his accuser above two years, that she was not a woman to be ravished. The circumstance of the scymeter, thetête à têtesolitude, Kerfael's confusion at the sight of the husband and domestics; taken all together formed, in the opinion of the judges, violent presumptions. Fatme on her side, far from owning that she had granted him favors, would not even allow that she gave him the least glimmering of hopes; and maintain'd that her obstinate adherence to her duty, from which she had never flinch'd, was without doubt what urged Kerfael to acquire by force, what he despair'd obtaining by craft. The verbal process drawn up by the commissaries was another terrible piece. Nothing more was requisite, than to run it over, and compare it with the articles of the Criminal Code, to read unhappy Kerfael's condemnation therein. He lost all expectations of life either by his defence, or the credit of his family; the magistrates had fixed the definitive sentence to the thirteenth of the month of Rebeg: and this was even published by sound of trumpet, according to custom.
This affair became the topic of conversations, and people were divided upon it for a good while. Some old hags, who had always been very safe from any apprehensions of a rape, ran about crying: "That Kerfael's attack was enormous; that unless a severe example were made of him, innocence would be no longer in security; and that an honest woman would be exposed to insults, even at the horns of the Altar." Then they cited instances of little impertinent puppies having attack'd the virtue of several respectable ladies: and the circumstances left no room to doubt, but that those respectable ladies mentioned by them were themselves: and all these speeches were made to Bramins less innocent than Kerfael, and by devotes as chaste as Fatme, by way of edifying conversations.
ThePetits-Maitreson the contrary, and even somePetites-Maitresses, asserted that a rape was a chimæra, that a woman never surrendered but by capitulation; and that, if a fort was defended, tho' ever so little, it was absolutely impossible to take it by storm. Examples were alledged in support of this reasoning: the women knew some; thePetits-Maitresinvented others; and there was no end of quoting instances of women, who had not been ravished. "Poor Kerfael," said they, "what the devil had he in his head, to take to little Bimbreloqua," which was the dancer's name, "why did he not stick to Fatme? They were extremely well together, and the husband left them at full liberty: what a blessing——Those witches the matrons put on their spectacles to no purpose, for they saw nothing. And indeed, who is the person that can see clear in that place? And besides, the senators are going to deprive him of his joy, for having burst an open door. The poor lad will die of it, no doubt. After that, pray consider, what will not dissatisfied women be authorized to do."——"If this execution takes place," interrupted another, "I will make myself a free mason."
Mirzoza, naturally compassionate, remonstrated to Mangogul, who was joking her on Kerfael's case, that if the laws spoke against Kerfael, good sense deposed against Fatme. "Moreover," added she, "it has never been heard, that, in a wise government, the letter of the law should be so closely adhered to, that the simple allegation of a female accuser should be sufficient to endanger the life of a subject. The reality of a rape cannot be too clearly proved; and you will allow, Sir, that this fact is as much at least within the province of your ring as of your senators. It would be very singular, that the matrons should be more knowing on this head than the Toys themselves. Hitherto your highness's ring has done little more than satisfy your curiosity. Might not the Genius, from whom you had it, have intended some more important end? If you employ it for the discovery of truth, and the happiness of your subjects, can you think the Genius will be offended? Try. You are in possession of an infallible method of drawing from Fatme a confession of her crime, or a proof of her innocence." "You are in the right," replied Mangogul, "and you shall be satisfied."
The Sultan departed immediately: and indeed there was no time to lose: for it was the night of the twelfth of the moon Rebeg, and the senate was to pronounce sentence on the thirteenth. Fatme was just got into bed, the curtains were not quite closed. A night taper threw a dull light on her countenance. The Sultan thought her beautiful, notwithstanding the violent commotions which disfigured her. Compassion and hatred, grief and revenge, audaciousness and shame were painted in her eyes, according as they succeeded each other in her heart. She uttered deep sighs, shed tears, wiped them off, shed fresh ones, remained some moments with her head drooping and eyes dejected, then suddenly raised them, and darted furious looks towards the heavens. What was Mangogul doing all this time? He was talking to himself, and saying. "These are the symptoms of despair. Her former tenderness for Kerfael has revived in all its violence. She has lost sight of the offence he committed, and has nothing in view but the punishment reserved for her lover." As soon as he had finished these words, he turned the fatal ring on Fatme, and her Toy cried out with vehemence.
"Twelve hours more, and we shall be revenged. The treacherous ingrateful man shall perish, and his blood shall be shed." Fatme affrighted at the extraordinary motion which she felt within her, and shock'd at the buzzing voice of her Toy, clapt both hands on it, and put herself upon duty to stop its mouth. But the powerful ring continued to act, and the ungovernable Toy breaking thro' every obstacle, added: "Yes, we shall be revenged. O! thou who hast betray'd me, wretched Kerfael, dye, and thou, whom he has preferred to me, O Bimbreloqua, despair!——Twelve hours more! Alas! how tedious will this time appear to me. Hasten, sweet moments, when I shall see the treacherous, the ingrateful Kerfael under the executioner's knife, his blood trickling down——Ah! Wretch, what have I said? Can I without horror see the dearest object of my love perish? Can I see the fatal weapon lifted up?——Ah! far from me this cruel thought.—He hates me, 'tis true; he has quitted me for Bimbreloqua, but perhaps some time or other——why do I say, perhaps? Love will certainly recall him under my yoke. That little Bimbreloqua is a fancy that will fly off; he must sooner or later be sensible of the injustice of his preference, and the ridiculousness of his new choice. Comfort thyself, Fatme, thou shalt see thy Kerfael again. Yes, thou shalt see him again. Arise quickly, run, fly to remove the dreadful danger which threatens him. Dost thou not tremble to come too late?—But whither shall I run, mean wretch that I am. Does not Kerfael's disdain foretel me, that he has abandoned me for ever. Bimbreloqua enjoys him, and 'tis for her that I was going to save him: ah! let him rather dye a thousand deaths. If he lives no more for me, why should I be concerned for his death?—Yes, I am now convinced that my wrath is just. The ingrateful Kerfael has deserved all my hatred. I no longer have any remorse. I had done every thing to keep him, I will do every thing to destroy him. Yet one day later, and my revenge was disappointed. But his evil genius delivered him up to me, the very moment that he thought to escape me. He is fallen into the snare which I laid for him. I have him fast. The appointment, to which I contrived to bring thee, was the last which thou intendedst for me: but thou wilt not so soon forget it.—With what address did you bring him to your beck? Fatme, how well concerted was your disorder? Your shrieks, your grief, your tears, your confusion, every thing, even to your silence, has ruin'd Kerfael. Nothing can snatch him from his impending fate. Kerfael is dead—You weep, wretched woman. He loved another, of what consequence is his life to you."
Mangogul, filled with horror at this discourse, turned off his ring; and while Fatme was recruiting her spirits, he flew back to the Sultana. "Well, prince," said she, "what have you heard? Is Kerfael still guilty, and the chast Fatme"—"I beseech you to excuse me," answered the Sultan, "from repeating the abominations which I come from hearing. How an exasperated woman is to be dreaded! Who could believe, that a body formed by the graces, sometimes enclosed a heart molded by the furies? But the sun shall not set to-morrow on my dominions, before they be purged of a monster more dangerous than those which are produced in my deserts."
The Sultan immediately sent for the Seneschal, and commanded him to seize Fatme, to remove Kerfael into one of the appartments of the seraglio, and to inform the Senate, that he reserved to himself the cognizance of his affair. His orders were executed that very night.
The next morning at dawn of day, the Sultan attended by the Seneschal and an Effendi, went to Mirzoza's appartment, and had Fatme brought thither. This unfortunate woman threw herself at Mangogul's feet, confessed her crime with all its circumstances, and conjured Mirzoza to intercede for her. Mean while Kerfael was conducted in. He expected nothing but death: however he made his appearance with that composed assurance, which innocence alone can give. Some ill-natured wags said, that he would be in greater consternation, if what he was threaten'd to lose, was worth preserving. The women were upon the tenters to know the issue. He prostrated himself respectuously before his highness. Mangogul made him a signal to arise, and giving him his hand, "You are innocent," said he, "be free. Render thanks to Brama for your preservation. In order to make amends for the misery you have suffered, I grant you a pension of two thousand sequins on my exchequer, and the first commandery that shall fall in the order of the Crocodile."
The more favors were bestowed on Kerfael, the more Fatme dreaded punishment. The great Seneschal gave his opinion for death, grounded upon the law:Si foemina ff. de vi C. calumniatrix. The Sultan was inclined for perpetual imprisonment. Mirzoza finding too much rigor in one of these judgments, and too much indulgence in the other, condemned Fatme's Toy to the padlock. The Florentine machine was publickly clapt on, upon the same scaffold that had been erected for Kerfael's execution. Thence she was conducted to a house of correction, together with the matrons who had given their decisive opinions with so much knowledge.
While Mangogul was interrogating the Toys of Haria, the widows, and Fatme, Mirzoza had full time to prepare her philosophical lecture. One evening, that the Manimonbanda was performing her devotions, that there was neither play nor drawing room at court, and that the favorite was almost certain of a visit from the Sultan; she took two black petticoats, put one on in the usual manner, and the other over her shoulders, passed her hands thro' the two slits, put on the peruke of Mangogul's Seneschal, and his chaplain's square cap; and thought herself equipped as a philosopher, whereas she had disguised herself into a bat.
In this masquerade dress, she walked up and down her appartments, as a professor of the royal college waiting for his scholars. She affected even to the gloomy pensive physiognomy of a learned man in meditation. Mirzoza did not hold this forced gravity long. The Sultan entered with some of his courtiers, and made a low bow to the new philosopher; whose gravity disconcerted her audience, and was in its turn disconcerted by the loud laughter it occasioned. "Madam," said Mangogul, "have you not advantage enough by your wit and figure, without taking the robe to your aid? without which your words would have all the weight that you could have desired." "It seems to me, sir," answered Mirzoza, "that you do not much respect this robe, and that a disciple should pay more regard to what constitutes half the merit at least of his master." "I perceive," replied the Sultan, "that you have already acquired the spirit and tone of your new condition. I make no doubt at present, but your capacity answers to the dignity of your dress, and I impatiently expect a proof of it."—"You shall be satisfied this minute," said Mirzoza, sitting down in the center of a large carpet. The Sultan and courtiers placed themselves around her, and she began.
"Have the philosophers, who presided over your highness's education, ever entertain'd you on the nature of the soul?" "Oh! very often," said Mangogul; "but all their systems had no other end, but giving me uncertain notions of it; and were it not for an inward sentiment, which seems to suggest to me, that it is a substance different from matter, I should either have denied its existence, or confounded it with the body. Would you undertake to clear up this chaos?"
"So far from it," replied Mirzoza, "that I am not farther advanced on that head than your pedagogues. The only difference between them and me, is that I suppose the existence of a substance different from matter, and that they hold it demonstrated. But this substance, if it exists, must be lodged somewhere. Have they not preached many extravagances to you on that article?"
"No," said Mangogul: "they all pretty generally agreed, that it resides in the head; and this opinion to me seemed probable. 'Tis the head that thinks, imagines, reflects, judges, disposes, commands; and we say every day of a man who does not think, that he has no brains, or that he wants a head."
"Well then," replied the Sultana, "the result of your long studies and of all your philosophy, is, to suppose a fact, and to ground it on popular expressions. Prince, what would you say of your first geographer, if he presented your highness with a map of your dominions, in which he had put the east in the west, and the north in the south?"
"That is too gross an error," answered Mangogul, "for any geographer to have ever committed."
"That may be," continued the favorite; "and in the case before us, your philosophers are greater bunglers, than the most bungling geographer can be. They had not a vast empire to survey; the business was not to fix the limits of the four parts of the world: all they had to do, was to enter into themselves, and there mark the true seat of their soul. Yet they have placed the east in the west, and the south in the north. They have pronounced that the soul is in the head, whereas the greatest part of mankind dye, without it's ever inhabiting that appartment; and its first residence is in the feet."
"In the feet!" interrupted the Sultan. "That is the most empty notion that I have ever heard."
"Yes, in the feet," replied Mirzoza, "and this opinion, which to you seems so silly, will, upon thoroughly examining it, become rational; contrary to all those, which you allow as true, and which upon a thorough examination are found to be false. Your highness agreed with me just now, that the existence of our soul was founded on the interior testimony alone, which it bore to itself; and I will now demonstrate, that all the proofs imaginable of sense concur to fix the soul in the seat which I have assigned it."
"There we expect you," said Mangogul.
"I desire no favor," continued she; "and I invite ye all to propose your difficulties. Well then, I was saying that the soul takes up its first residence in the feet, that there it begins to exist, and from the feet it advances into the body. To experience I appeal for this fact; and perhaps I am going to lay the first foundations of experimental metaphysics.
"We have all experienced in our infancy, that the benumbed soul remains whole months in a state of sleepiness. At that time the eyes open without seeing, the mouth without speaking, and the ears without hearing. 'Tis elsewhere that the soul endeavours to stretch itself and awake; 'tis in other members that she practises her first functions. 'Tis by the feet that a child gives notice of his formation. His body, head and arms are immoveable in the mother's womb; but his feet unfold and extend themselves, and give proofs of his existence, and perhaps of his exigences. When he is on the point of birth, what would become of his head, body and arms? They would never come out of their confinement, had they not been assisted by the feet: here the feet act the principal part, and drive the rest of the body before them. Such is the order of nature; and whenever any other member attempts to lead the van; when the head, for example, takes the place of the feet; every thing goes wrong, and God knows what is the consequence sometimes, both to the mother and the child.
"Is the child born? 'tis still in the feet that the chief motions are performed. We are obliged to confine them: and this is never done without some reluctance on their part. The head is a block, with which we do what we will; but the feet are sensible of, shake off the yoke, and seem jealous of the liberty, of which they are deprived.
"Is the child able to stand alone? the feet make a thousand efforts to move; they put every thing into action: they command the other members, and the obedient hands lean against the walls, and advance forward to prevent or break the falls, and facilitate the action of the feet.
"Whither do all the thoughts of a child tend, what are his pleasures, when, secure on his legs, his feet have acquired the habit of moving? To exercise them, to go to and fro', to run, to leap, to bounce. This turbulence pleases us, we take it for a mark of sense; and we predict the future stupidity of the child, when we see him indolent and sullen. Have you a mind to vex a child of four years old? make him sit down for a quarter of an hour, or imprison him between four chairs: he will grow peevish and ill-humor'd: for 'tis not his legs alone that you deprive of exercise, 'tis his soul that you hold in captivity.
"The soul remains in the feet to the age of two or three years; at four it inhabits the legs; it gets up to the knees and thighs at fifteen. Then we love dancing, fencing, riding, and the other violent bodily exercises. This is the predominant passion of all young folks, and the madness of some. What! does not the soul reside in those places, where she almost only manifests herself, and where she feels the most agreeable sensations? But if her residence varies in infancy and youth, why should it not vary thro' every stage of life?"
Mirzoza pronounced this discourse with such rapidity as made her pant. Selim, one of the Sultan's favorites, embraced the moment while she was taking breath, and said to her: "Madam, I will make use of the liberty you have granted the company, of proposing their objections. Your system is ingenious, and you have delivered it with equal grace and clearness: but I am not so far seduced by it, as to think it stands demonstrated. Methinks one may say, that even in infancy 'tis the head that commands the feet, and from thence the spirits flow, which, by means of the nerves, running into all the members, stop or move them at the will of the soul seated on the pineal gland: just as we see his highness's orders issuing from the sublime Porte, which set all his subjects in action."
"Doubtless," replied Mirzoza, "but one would tell me a very obscure thing; to which I should give no other answer than by an experienced fact. In infancy we have no certainty that the head thinks; and even you, my lord, who have so good an one, and who in your tender years passed for a prodigy of reason, do you remember that you thought at that time? But you might well assert, that when you gamboled about like a little Dæmon, so as to drive your governants out of their wits, your feet then governed your head."
"That proves nothing," said the Sultan. "Selim was lively, and so are a thousand other children. They do not reflect, but they think: time slips away, the remembrance of things wears out, and they remember not that they thought."
"But by what part did they think," replied Mirzoza: "for that is the point in dispute?"
"By the head," answered Selim.
"What! always this head, into which one cannot peep," replied the Sultana. "Pray, drop your dark lanthorn, in which you suppose a light, that is seen by none but by him who carries it: hear my experiment, and own the truth of my hypothesis. It is so constantly true, that the soul begins its progress in the body by the feet, that there are some of both sexes, in whom it never rose higher. My lord, you have admired Nini's nimbleness and Saligo's feats of activity a thousand times: answer me then sincerely, do you think that these creatures have their souls any where else but in their legs? And have you not remarked, that in Volucer and Zelindor the head is submissive to the feet? The eternal temptation of a dancer is to contemplate his legs. At every step his attentive eye follows his paces, and his head bows respectuously before his feet, as do before his highness his invincible Pacha's."
"I allow the observation," said Selim: "but I deny that it is a general one."
"Nor do I pretend," replied Mirzoza, "that the soul always fixes in the feet: she advances, she travels, she quits a part, returns to it, and quits it again; but I maintain that the other members are subordinate to that which she inhabits. All this varies according to the age, temper and circumstances; and thence arises the difference of tastes, the diversity of inclinations and characters. Do you not admire the fecundity of my principle? And is not its certainty evinced by the number of phænomena, to which it extends?"
"Madam," answered Selim, "if you applied it to some in particular, perhaps it might give us a degree of conviction, which we have not yet acquired."
"Most willingly," replied Mirzoza, who began to be sensible of the advantages she gain'd: "you shall be satisfied, only follow the chain of my notions. I do not pretend to make arguments in form. I speak from my heart; this is the philosophy of our sex, and you understand it almost as well as we. It is probable enough," added she, "that the soul occupies the feet and legs to the age of eight or ten: but about that time, or rather later, she quits that lodging, either of her own free motion, or by force. By force, when a tutor employs certain machines to drive her out of her native place, and lead her into the brain; where she is metamorphosed generally into memory, and seldom or never into judgment. This is the fate of school-boys. In like manner, if a weak governant labours hard to form a young girl, stuffs her mind with knowledge, and neglects the heart and morals; the soul rapidly flies towards the head, stops on the tongue, or fixes in the eyes; and her scholar is but a tiresome pratler, or a coquet.
"Thus the voluptuous woman is she whose soul occupies her Toy, and never strays from it.
"The woman of gallantry, she whose soul is sometimes in her Toy, and sometimes in her eyes.
"The affectionate woman, she whose soul is habitually in the heart, but sometimes also in her Toy.
"The virtuous woman, she whose soul is sometimes in her head, sometimes in her heart, but never any where else.
"If the soul fixes in the heart, she forms the characters of sensibility, compassion, truth, generosity. If she quits the heart without returning thither, and retires to the head; then she forms those whom we call hardhearted, ungrateful, deceitful, cruel men.
"The class of those, in whom the soul visits the head merely as a country-house, where its stay is short, is very numerous. It is composed ofPetits-Maitres, coquets, musicians, poets, romancers, courtiers, and all those who are called pretty women. Listen to the reasoning of these entities, and you will instantly discern vagabond souls, which are influenced by the different climes they inhabit."
"If that be the case," said Selim, "nature has formed many useless things. And yet our sages hold as a constant maxim, that she has produced nothing in vain."
"Drop your sages and their lofty expressions," answered Mirzoza; "and as to nature, let us consider her with the eyes of experience only, and we shall learn from her, that she has placed the soul in the body of man, as in a spacious palace, of which she does not always occupy the most beautiful appartment. The head and heart are principally destined for her, as the center of virtue, and the residence of truth: but most commonly she stops on the road, and prefers a garret, a suspicious place, a miserable inn, where she drops asleep in perpetual drunkenness. Ah! If I were allowed for twenty-four hours only, to settle the world according to my fancy, I would divert you with a very strange sight: in a moment I would deprive each soul of the superfluous parts of its habitation; and you would see each individual characterised by the part left him. Thus dancers would be reduced to two feet, or two legs at most; singers to a throat; most women to a Toy; hero's and prize-fighters to an armed hand; certain learned men to a skull without brains; a female gamester should be stinted to two hands incessantly shuffling the cards; a glutton to two jaws always in motion; a coquet to two eyes; a rake to the sole instrument of his passion; the ignorant and lazy to nothing."
"If you leave the women any hands at all," interrupted the Sultan, "those men whom you would reduce to the sole instrument of their passions, would be pursued. This chace would be a pleasant sight: and if the sex was as greedy of this game every where else as in Congo, the species would soon be extinct."
"But," said Selim to the favorite, "of what would you compose affectionate and sensible women, constant and faithful lovers?"
"Of a heart," answered Mirzoza; "and I well know," added she, darting a tender glance on Mangogul, "that, to which mine would wish to be united."
The Sultan could not stand against this declaration: he sprung from his seat to the favorite: the courtiers disappear'd, and the new philosopher's chair became the theatre of their pleasures: he gave her repeated proofs that he was not less charmed with her sentiments than with her discourse; and the philosophic equipage was thrown into disorder. Mirzoza return'd the black petticoats to her women, sent my lord Seneschal his enormous peruke, and toMonsieur l'Abbéhis square cap, with assurances that he should be on the list at the next nomination. What would he not have attained, if he had been a genius? A seat in the academy was the least reward that he could expect: but unluckily he knew but two or three hundred words, and had never been able from that stock, to compass the composing of twoRitournelles.
Mangogul was the only person that had given attention to Mirzoza's philosophic lecture without interrupting her; and as he was pretty much inclined to contradict, she was astonish'd at it. "Does the Sultan allow my system from beginning to end?" said she within herself. "No, that is not probable: has he found it too bad to deign to attack it? that may be. My notions are not the most just that have been broach'd to this day; I grant it: but neither are they the most false; and I am apt to think that worse have been invented."
In order to clear up this doubt, the favorite resolved to ask some questions of Mangogul. "Well, prince," said she, "what are your thoughts of my system?" "It is admirable," answered the Sultan; "I find but one defect in it." "What defect is that?" replied the favorite. "It is," said Mangogul, "that it is as false as false can be. Pursuant to your notions, we must all be endowed with souls: now observe, my soul's delight, that there is not common sense in this supposition. I have a soul: there is an animal that acts most part of the time as if he had none; and perhaps in reality he has none, even while he acts as if he had one. But he has a nose made like mine; I feel that I have a soul, and that I think: therefore that animal has a soul, and thinks likewise. This argument has been made use of above a thousand years, and it has been impertinent full as long."
"I own," said the favorite, "that it is not always evident that others think." "And add," replied Mangogul, "that it is evident on an hundred occasions that they do not think." "But in my opinion," says Mirzoza, "it would be going a great length, to infer from thence, that they never have or ever will think. A person is not always a beast, for having been so sometimes; and your highness——"
Mirzoza, fearing to offend the Sultan, stopt short. "Continue, madam," said Mangogul, "I understand you; would you not have said, has my highness never acted the beast? I answer you, that I have now and then, and that even I excused others for taking me for such: for you may easily imagine, that they did not fail so to do, tho' they dared not to speak out."——"Ah! prince," cried the favorite, "if men refused a soul to the greatest monarch upon earth, to whom could they allow one?"
"Pray, forbear compliments," says Mangogul. "I have for a moment laid down the crown and scepter. I have ceased to be Sultan, in order to be a philosopher, and I can hear and speak the truth. I believe I have given you proofs of the one; and you have hinted to me, without offending me, and quite at your ease, that I have been sometimes no better than a beast. Permit me thoroughly to fulfil the duties of my new character.
"Far from agreeing with you," continued he, "that every creature that has legs, arms, hands, eyes and ears as I have, possesses a soul like me; I declare to you, that I am absolutely perswaded, that three fourths of the men and all the women are but mere machines."
"There may possibly be as much truth," answered the favorite, "as politeness in what you say."
"Oh!" says the Sultan, "madam seems to be angry: and why the devil do you take it into your head to philosophize, if you will not allow one to speak the truth? Is it in the schools that politeness is to be sought for? I have left you full elbow-room; pray, allow me the same, if you please. Well, then, I was saying, that ye are all beasts."
"Yes, prince; and this is what remained to be proved," added Mirzoza.
"Nothing more easy," answered the Sultan. Then he set about detailing all the impertinences which had been said over and over, with as little wit and delicacy as possible, against a sex which possesses both these qualities in a sovereign degree. Never was Mirzoza's patience put to a greater trial; and you would never be so tired in your whole life, as if I related all Mangogul's reasonings. This prince, who did not want good sense, was that day absurd beyond all comprehension: of which you shall be a judge. "It is so true, by Jupiter," said he, "that a woman is but an animal, that I'll wager, if I turn Cucufa's ring on my mare, I shall make her speak like a woman."
"Without doubt," answered Mirzoza, "there is the strongest argument that has ever been, or ever will be made against us." Then she burst out into a loud fit of laughter. Mangogul, vexed to see no end to her laughter, went out in a hurry, resolved to try the whimsical experiment, which occur'd to his imagination.