IIITHE YELLOW PERIL
San Francisco, November 22d.
To New York newspaper management and such as are doing it there.
Dear Printer—I am enjoying great poverty from employment which is missing this week, thank you.
This conversation for you to listen:
“Mr. Togo, goodbye, and be prompt in doing so!” That spoken with screeches by Mrs. C. W. O’Brien, honourable lady.
“Sweet-hearted Mrs. Madam,” I resume to her, “why you neglect to allow Japanese Boy any more wait on table-board at your establishment?”
“Because this,” she demand, “lazy stupor of brain unfit Japanese Boy for such jobs. During three weeks of time you remain in hospital to enjoy pain. You think of book study more than delivering soup to my table-eaters. Some others must carry coffee-dish for this employment. Therefore exit from these house!”
“Thank you to know, Hon. Mrs.,” I report,“what person shall obtain job when I have went from here?”
“One China boy I have got him more intelligent as you for half price to do it,” she refer.
I see plain truth to this. Looking to kitchen I observe Whang So, one China boy of sinful profile. I make race-riot inside of me, but peace-treaty outside.
“Honourable Mrs. O’Brien,” I say with smiling expression, “good day, so sorry, thank you so much!” Then I make quick-step to sidewalk and trot-step to establishment of Jigo Furo, Japanese hardware.
“Thank you for something durable to handle,” I say to this Jigo Furo.
“This stove-poker is recommended for all use,” he response. It surely was truthful. I take it away for call on Mr. Whang So, China boy of sinful profile. He come to door of Mrs. C. W. O’Brien when asked for.
“Whang So, Chinese puppy-cat, wherefore you have national characteristics of one potato?” I relapse.
“You go way, no good!” he reserve with impolite expression of Oriental.
For reply I throw stove-poker to neck of Whang So, give him jiu jitsu to porch and tie him with abominable pig-tail to door knob of Mrs. C. W.O’Brien where he may be found. This things I done to Whang So as race-riot to Chinese persons which is no good for America by following statistick:
1. They perform cleanly-washing infrequently.2. They are back-hand in religion, reform, bookkeeping and stenography.3. They teach poker game to Japanese Boy.4. They are a Yellow Peril.
1. They perform cleanly-washing infrequently.
2. They are back-hand in religion, reform, bookkeeping and stenography.
3. They teach poker game to Japanese Boy.
4. They are a Yellow Peril.
I have given some brain-study to this Yellow Peril to make sure it is a bad blessing for these Uniteds State. It is. But should we Americans of all-colour enjoy fear of such? Answer is, No! Coreans, Chinese, & Hindus is Yellow Peril. All Japanese can defeat these easily with club-stick. We have been there to try it. If white Caucasian fear such a Peril Japanese will promise to chase it away for small wage-pay. It will be amusement for Japanese Boy who know how.
All persons should be kept out of this kingdom who can not show good-coloured complexions at ship-dock. Torpedo-fleet, battle-boat, dynamite & congress should be shot off to prevent landing of such trash like Mr. Whang So and other Chinese of yellow birth. Coreans, Siamese, & Hindus must also be prevented from escaping into this country. Christian ships must take these complexions back to original islands where they belongs. This is best good for all human races.
Many negro persons of Southern States is also Yellow Peril, but these can not enjoy exclusion, because there is no place to exclude them to.
But Japanese gentleman, please, must not be written down for this list. Derby hat, American pant, Tuxedo overcoat, have rendered him completely white of complexion and able to vote for President when asked to know how. Please do not include him in Yellow Peril, because he will not be there. He is doing things by each day that makes folks white. Let Japanese help to do push-out to all-coloured Yellow Perils coming to this country together with others patriots of star-stripe banner Yankee-doodle dandy, banzai!
I will speak to you of two Yellow Perils which I know of my knowledge.
I am acquaintance of one Corean gentleman name of Whee who reside in cellar of this city. He do not change his clothing which is economical. He sleep in soap-box, but the soap is missing. To approach Mr. Whee with hygiene is too dangerous for good healthy. Labouring Union do not fear this Corean gentleman, because he shall never take no work from nobody. When not hitting pipe-smoke this Whee man is dreaming of ancestors. He will also be one soon. When I observe such Corean patriot approaching to meI choose next street, thank you. This man is Yellow Peril of bright colour.
In one more cellar, close to where this Corean citizen reside, there sleep one Polish gentleman name of Gumowsky. This Gumowsky man is notable for forgetfulness in washing. Two times each year he is removed by health Board, but this is of no use for Mr. Gumowsky who make financial income collecting second-handed cigarettes. When he obtain sufficient whiskey-drunk there is warcry from his downstairs residence and whichever furniture he can discover to break is throwed on street to strike by-passing pedestrians. Mr. Gumowsky is not good gentleman to inhabit this American country. He is a Yellow Peril of dark colour, because soiled.
Which is more better citizen, thank you—Mr. Whee of opium smoking and Gumowsky of whiskey-drunking or Japanese Boy of derby hat, frockaway coat and all other white manners of civilizedation?
On evening time of last Thursday night Japanese branch of Chinese Exclusion League meet for church social at Asiatic M. E. Church where good time were enjoyed there. My cousin Nogi took as escort Miss Mabel Sanjijo who he are engaged to marry when divorced. I delivered to this gaiety Miss Alice Furioki pleasant young lady of yellowextraction. All Japanese Boys was present with other national ladies. Rev. Hon. Chillworthy, American missionary, make all happy by coming late.
Japanese Boy Male Quartette open excitement by songing, “I love you the same long years ago when first I meet you on the village green.” Songing listened at with patience by all. Japanese solo was next performed on phonograf. Arthur Kickahajama, missionary boy, do card-trick for excitement of amusement. Then we enjoy “post-office” game to practise kissing, American salute. When this was subsided I made so nervous as to read following poetickal thought:
Make it hard for Chinese to come in, please,Make it nice and easy for stay out.Punish naughty China for that sin, please,Show what for you mean such things about.Chop chop head of Chinese immigration.Bang-up foolish pigtail cooley-man,Keep such Yellow Peril from your nation.(That give room for persons from Japan.)Swift-kick China off your map,Shake-shake smile for glad-hand Jap!Ship the negro person to some island—That will solve one problem pretty quick.Make the Injuns live upon a highlandScared for to come down by that Big Stick.Shoot the no-good Russian off this nation,Send the black-hand Dago back to Rome;Clean this land of foreign immigration—Then the Japanese Boy feel at home.Shoot the Yellow Peril—boom!—Then the Jap Boy have more room.
Make it hard for Chinese to come in, please,Make it nice and easy for stay out.Punish naughty China for that sin, please,Show what for you mean such things about.Chop chop head of Chinese immigration.Bang-up foolish pigtail cooley-man,Keep such Yellow Peril from your nation.(That give room for persons from Japan.)Swift-kick China off your map,Shake-shake smile for glad-hand Jap!Ship the negro person to some island—That will solve one problem pretty quick.Make the Injuns live upon a highlandScared for to come down by that Big Stick.Shoot the no-good Russian off this nation,Send the black-hand Dago back to Rome;Clean this land of foreign immigration—Then the Japanese Boy feel at home.Shoot the Yellow Peril—boom!—Then the Jap Boy have more room.
Make it hard for Chinese to come in, please,Make it nice and easy for stay out.Punish naughty China for that sin, please,Show what for you mean such things about.Chop chop head of Chinese immigration.Bang-up foolish pigtail cooley-man,Keep such Yellow Peril from your nation.(That give room for persons from Japan.)
Make it hard for Chinese to come in, please,
Make it nice and easy for stay out.
Punish naughty China for that sin, please,
Show what for you mean such things about.
Chop chop head of Chinese immigration.
Bang-up foolish pigtail cooley-man,
Keep such Yellow Peril from your nation.
(That give room for persons from Japan.)
Swift-kick China off your map,Shake-shake smile for glad-hand Jap!
Swift-kick China off your map,
Shake-shake smile for glad-hand Jap!
Ship the negro person to some island—That will solve one problem pretty quick.Make the Injuns live upon a highlandScared for to come down by that Big Stick.
Ship the negro person to some island—
That will solve one problem pretty quick.
Make the Injuns live upon a highland
Scared for to come down by that Big Stick.
Shoot the no-good Russian off this nation,Send the black-hand Dago back to Rome;Clean this land of foreign immigration—Then the Japanese Boy feel at home.
Shoot the no-good Russian off this nation,
Send the black-hand Dago back to Rome;
Clean this land of foreign immigration—
Then the Japanese Boy feel at home.
Shoot the Yellow Peril—boom!—Then the Jap Boy have more room.
Shoot the Yellow Peril—boom!—
Then the Jap Boy have more room.
After this rhythm Rev. Hon. Mr. Chillworthy nearly made talk-speech. He was just saying it about “Higher Life for Japanese Boy” when something happen which was too bad. Whang So, China boy, enter with two cousins, Whang Get and Whang Gee. There was up-jump for all. Banzais could be seen everywhere as chandeliers, etc., flew to heads of China boys while those nationality was departing through windows. After these Chinese Exclusion act was performed this church sociable busted up with prayers and ice cream.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.
S. P.—Mr. Editor, would you put following wedding notice in paper of yours?
“Mr. Hashimura Togo of Kobe, Japan, will be marriaged to Miss Alice Furioki of Tokyo, same place, ceremony to be had at Asiatic M. E. Church, S. F. This excitement will take place when job is found for Japanese Boy which is not now doing so.”
H. T.