IOUR NOBLE ALLIES
San Francisco, November 4th.
To Esteemed Excellency the Editor of what is much widely read New York newspaper.
Dear Sir—I am a Japanese Schoolboy age 35 years & I come to this Free Country for some following reason:
1. To save up money for old age.2. To learn so much I can.3. To wait on table 14 hours Daily at Boarding house of Mrs. C. W. O’Brien, honourable lady.
1. To save up money for old age.
2. To learn so much I can.
3. To wait on table 14 hours Daily at Boarding house of Mrs. C. W. O’Brien, honourable lady.
I am not doing so to-day as I am Confined in hospital enjoying much pain from brick-bat wound sent to me by one American Patriot. Also I am not attending school for some time.
If your Highness will permit such correspondence I will ask some Question which I willanswer myself so as to save too much trouble for your valuable time. Thank you.
Some frequent Professors are asking the question now: Will White Man and Yellow Man ever mix? I answer Yes because I have knowledge of the affair. They mix once in San Francisco, they mix once in Vancouver. But such mixing is not good-healthy for the human race because it make broken glass, pistol-shot, outcry, militia and many other disagreeable noises. Japanese gentleman mix races with jiu jitsu, Irish gentleman with gas-pipe. Those are both good ways to know.
I have heartfelt feel for American gentleman because my Teacher tell me America and Japan are Noble Allies. Are we not this? Hon. Marquis Wm. Taft arrive to Tokyo to say these truth. He state to Admiral Togo, “We are Noble Allies,” and Admiral Togo response, “If we shall not be Noble Allies we shall be Noble Liars.” Tokyo is so happy that Rising Sun make tear-drop falling on star-stripe banner. Banzai!
Excuse bad penmanship as Right Hand was wounded by brick-bat from one Noble Ally name Casey. Bottles was also used on head which were unfortunate.
So happy Japanese! Japan has most Noble Allies than any other country. France, England, these dear Uniteds State, Germany, Australia,Switzerland, Spain, Portugal are all to fight in our behaviour. Also Corea. The most strongest of our Allies must, therefore, be England who gives day-and-night thought to making all Japanese comfortable. London newspaper weep for shame when San Francisco labour man drop building material on head of Japanese gentleman. London newspapers arrange their editorial full with considerable pity. Yes, please. England man loves Japanese man with much distinction because both are brothers by germ, are they not? Also affinities.
My cousin Nogi become recently absentee from San Francisco because he might reside away from the brick-bats. He went to inhabit in British Columbia at Vancouver to work in the Kakemono Barber Shop under the so glorious British banner. This is protection for all weak persons. I am therefore much more ill in my sick hand when I read this telegraph from my cousin Nogi.
To Hashimura Togo, San Francisco:Welcome to Canada by Noble Allies. Three killed, seven wounded. All well. Please send shot gun.Nogi.
To Hashimura Togo, San Francisco:
Welcome to Canada by Noble Allies. Three killed, seven wounded. All well. Please send shot gun.
Nogi.
I think so continuously concerning my cousin enjoying trouble from that cordial Great Britain that I am about to make hara-kiri by swallowing bottle of hospital-medicine; but I relieve my deathmore easily by making the following poetical thought which I mailed to the King of England who lives in London:
America man he strike for pay,Japanese work for a dollar a day.We like all much work can do—You like Jap boy work for you?Yes, sir, thank you, I come now:Plenty more Jap boy soon learn how.O so sorry no can stay—Yes, please, come again soon—good day!London paper say, “Jap nice,Fight much, think much, eat much rice.”England love us, so we heard—What for Canada say bad word?Yes, sir, thank you, one good graft;Little Brown Brother, Big Bill Taft.O so happy come round quick—What for Canada throw Big Stick?We sweep kitchen, scrub out pan,Learn speak English soon we can.We be good boy, so polite,Trot all daytime, think all night.Yes, sir, thank you, too much fuss.We like Canada—you like us?O so sorry must go way—Yes, please—come again soon some day!
America man he strike for pay,Japanese work for a dollar a day.We like all much work can do—You like Jap boy work for you?Yes, sir, thank you, I come now:Plenty more Jap boy soon learn how.O so sorry no can stay—Yes, please, come again soon—good day!London paper say, “Jap nice,Fight much, think much, eat much rice.”England love us, so we heard—What for Canada say bad word?Yes, sir, thank you, one good graft;Little Brown Brother, Big Bill Taft.O so happy come round quick—What for Canada throw Big Stick?We sweep kitchen, scrub out pan,Learn speak English soon we can.We be good boy, so polite,Trot all daytime, think all night.Yes, sir, thank you, too much fuss.We like Canada—you like us?O so sorry must go way—Yes, please—come again soon some day!
America man he strike for pay,Japanese work for a dollar a day.We like all much work can do—You like Jap boy work for you?
America man he strike for pay,
Japanese work for a dollar a day.
We like all much work can do—
You like Jap boy work for you?
Yes, sir, thank you, I come now:Plenty more Jap boy soon learn how.O so sorry no can stay—Yes, please, come again soon—good day!
Yes, sir, thank you, I come now:
Plenty more Jap boy soon learn how.
O so sorry no can stay—
Yes, please, come again soon—good day!
London paper say, “Jap nice,Fight much, think much, eat much rice.”England love us, so we heard—What for Canada say bad word?
London paper say, “Jap nice,
Fight much, think much, eat much rice.”
England love us, so we heard—
What for Canada say bad word?
Yes, sir, thank you, one good graft;Little Brown Brother, Big Bill Taft.O so happy come round quick—What for Canada throw Big Stick?
Yes, sir, thank you, one good graft;
Little Brown Brother, Big Bill Taft.
O so happy come round quick—
What for Canada throw Big Stick?
We sweep kitchen, scrub out pan,Learn speak English soon we can.We be good boy, so polite,Trot all daytime, think all night.
We sweep kitchen, scrub out pan,
Learn speak English soon we can.
We be good boy, so polite,
Trot all daytime, think all night.
Yes, sir, thank you, too much fuss.We like Canada—you like us?O so sorry must go way—Yes, please—come again soon some day!
Yes, sir, thank you, too much fuss.
We like Canada—you like us?
O so sorry must go way—
Yes, please—come again soon some day!
I am still awaiting Answer to this poetical thought which must be there somewhere in English postoffice soon.
Why do Japanese Boy come to this country is requested for reply from almost every white mind of prominence. I will answer with several reason from my own vocabulary:
1. To learn religion, Bookkeeping & Stenography.2. To cement that Friendship of nations and keep grocery store.3. To attend horse-racing contests.4. To learn American Manners5. To study Customs, Murders, Art, Science, & Humoristic Literature from sunday papers.6. To go back to Japan.
1. To learn religion, Bookkeeping & Stenography.
2. To cement that Friendship of nations and keep grocery store.
3. To attend horse-racing contests.
4. To learn American Manners
5. To study Customs, Murders, Art, Science, & Humoristic Literature from sunday papers.
6. To go back to Japan.
Perhaps you read in newspaper sometime rather recently about a warfare which we enjoyed with our Honourable Ally Russia which we cause to love us with a bayonet. Your Emperor, Mr. Roosevelt, then taught us how the peace may be manufactured and we have done so ever since. If you did not read of this in papers I will send you clippings from theShimbunof Tokyo. We are sending the glad hand of fellowship around to all white persons, but I can not do so this week because the brick-bat wound I said to you about is in my right wrist.
Before enjoying that painful collision I spoke something with Hon. Strunsky, the Delegate who Walks for the Unions. Some of my countrymen has seen Hon. Strunsky Walk, but he has been Setting down on them occasions seen by me. I went there with ceremony before Mr. Strunsky at his saloon, because he is Irish and makes angry sudden.
“Please,” I enquiry, “let Japanese Boy to plumbing union. I am able to plumb with intelligence.”
“You make me tired,” he retorted back.
“Esteemed sir, if you are exhausting yourself with fatigue let Japanese Boy have your job. My cousin is ambitious for such a situation.”
“Beat it!” response Hon. Strunsky.
I could not assimulate that word he said it.
“What should he beat?” was question for me.
“You beat yourself around block—skiddoo!” explained honourable Delegate gentleman.
When he was explaining these things in war-cry voice so all could understand Mr. Carbonetti, an American gentleman, struck me on the wrist with a small piece of House which was not then built. I spoke “Banzai!” and Mr. I. Rogo, proprietor of the Rising Sun Coffee House, came with leaps and make jiu jitsu upon Mr. Carbonetti while O. Takura, my cousin’s grandfather, stopped Mr.Strunsky’s speeches with some kindling-wood. Soon there was rain of brick-bats from sky and Japanese Boys present much regretted they did not wear any umbrella.
That is some ways it happened.
Was it then wise for the Delegate who Walks for the Unions to say so? For was he not often remarking there was no place for Japanese gentleman in the American business? He does not know the statistick like the Japanese statesman may tell him. What does Ichipanorama, Walt Whitman of Fuji, say so?
The Visible Universe was never so full of men, Monkeys, Furniture, Noise, Literature, Diseases,That there was not a Place somewhere, either in the hall bedroom, or in the kitchen, or in the cellar under the kitchen,Or in the ice-box under the stairsFor the Good,the Beautifuland the True.Gotama Buddha, or the Janitor, or Somebody else makes room for the Humble DeservingAnd even a ParrotMay be allowed in the Apartment House.Does a Rich Man refuse to take gold because it is yellow?Does a Cook refuse to boil potatoes because they are brown?Does a Car Conductor refuse to take on another Passenger because of race, colour or previous condition of servitude?He does not, neither do they.Man leapeth from land to land even as the flea from dog to dog.It is so enrolled upon tablets of porcelain and ivory.
The Visible Universe was never so full of men, Monkeys, Furniture, Noise, Literature, Diseases,That there was not a Place somewhere, either in the hall bedroom, or in the kitchen, or in the cellar under the kitchen,Or in the ice-box under the stairsFor the Good,the Beautifuland the True.Gotama Buddha, or the Janitor, or Somebody else makes room for the Humble DeservingAnd even a ParrotMay be allowed in the Apartment House.Does a Rich Man refuse to take gold because it is yellow?Does a Cook refuse to boil potatoes because they are brown?Does a Car Conductor refuse to take on another Passenger because of race, colour or previous condition of servitude?He does not, neither do they.Man leapeth from land to land even as the flea from dog to dog.It is so enrolled upon tablets of porcelain and ivory.
The Visible Universe was never so full of men, Monkeys, Furniture, Noise, Literature, Diseases,That there was not a Place somewhere, either in the hall bedroom, or in the kitchen, or in the cellar under the kitchen,Or in the ice-box under the stairsFor the Good,the Beautifuland the True.Gotama Buddha, or the Janitor, or Somebody else makes room for the Humble DeservingAnd even a ParrotMay be allowed in the Apartment House.Does a Rich Man refuse to take gold because it is yellow?Does a Cook refuse to boil potatoes because they are brown?Does a Car Conductor refuse to take on another Passenger because of race, colour or previous condition of servitude?He does not, neither do they.Man leapeth from land to land even as the flea from dog to dog.It is so enrolled upon tablets of porcelain and ivory.
The Visible Universe was never so full of men, Monkeys, Furniture, Noise, Literature, Diseases,
That there was not a Place somewhere, either in the hall bedroom, or in the kitchen, or in the cellar under the kitchen,
Or in the ice-box under the stairs
For the Good,
the Beautiful
and the True.
Gotama Buddha, or the Janitor, or Somebody else makes room for the Humble Deserving
And even a Parrot
May be allowed in the Apartment House.
Does a Rich Man refuse to take gold because it is yellow?
Does a Cook refuse to boil potatoes because they are brown?
Does a Car Conductor refuse to take on another Passenger because of race, colour or previous condition of servitude?
He does not, neither do they.
Man leapeth from land to land even as the flea from dog to dog.
It is so enrolled upon tablets of porcelain and ivory.
This is not exactly how Ichipanorama says how, but something like so. America has room for all. The Irish gentleman to hold the great public offices, the Jewish gentleman to attend to the drama and the clothing store, the Italian gentleman to be the merchants with the fruit, the German gentleman to attend to the large sausage interests of the country. The Japanese gentleman, then, what does he require in this so great commonwealth? Sometimes something, sometimes something different. To nail the shoe, to write the books, to work in the gymnasium, to run the banks, to peel potatoes, to govern the states. Anywhere you require his usefulness he will be so happy to be there.
Hoping your Highness understands plainly to know how I think these things here, and love to all.
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.