LETTERCXVIII.TO MR. B——.
Charles Street, Dec. 20, 1779.
DEAR SIR,
THE Park guns are now firing, and never was poor devil so puzzled as your humble Sancho is at this present moment.—I have a budget of fresh news—aye, and that of consequence—and a million of stale thanks, which perhaps you will think of no consequence.—Impelled by two contrary passions, how should a poor Negro know precisely which to obey? Your turkey and chine are absolutely as good, as fine, and as welcome—as nobly given—and as gratefully accepted—as heart can wish, or fancy conceive:—then on the other hand—the news is as glorious—as well timed and authenticated—as pleasing,—as salutary in the ministerial way—as much wanted—and as welcome—as the turkey and chine to a certain sett, I mean—of king’s friends and national * * * * *. Thesaid turkey and chine will keep fresh and good—and chear some honest hearts (I trust) on Christmas-day.—The news, good as it is, may half of it prove false by Christmas—and the true part will be stale news by that time—much of it will be liable to doubt and malicious disquisition:—now, on the other hand, the turkey and its honest fat companion are bettering every day—and feast us by anticipation.—But again, the news will come with a handsome face—attested by a Gazette extraordinary, garnished by the happy flourishes of news-paper invention. Then there is the speech of the noble Sir C——; I meant to say much upon that score; you have read it without doubt—so have I more than once or twice—and I find the same fault with it that the majority and minority do—which is neither more nor less than what’s exceeding natural to both parties.—The majority detest it for its truth—the minority would have better liked it, had it not been so d—n’dhonest. Now (between ourselves) I do confess to you, my worthy friend, strip this famed speech of its truth and honesty, there will very little worthnotice remain, excepting candour, a spice of benevolence, and perhaps too much charity;—but as the above are the vices only of a very few, we may the better endure it in Sir C——. There is certainly an express arrived this day with very comfortable news—plenty of killed and wounded—plenty of prisoners—and (as it always happens) with little or no loss on our side;—but, dear me! how I have run on!—I protest, the sole business of this letter was to ease my mind—by unburthening my head and heart of some weighty thanks, which, for aught I know, except very decently managed, are more likely to give pain than pleasure to some odd-constructed minds, men who fatten upon doing good, and feel themselves richer in proportion to their kindness:—such beings are the S——’s, the B——s, the R——hs, O——ns, &c. &c.—whom God mend—in the next world I mean:—so, wishing you every felicity in this, and every comfort attendant on the approaching festival, with love and good-will to all friends, especially to Mrs. B——n, the worthy Mr. S——’s family, Squire S——ns, and his mate, inwhich Mrs. Sancho claims her full share, I remain, dear Sir, (I fear I tire you)
Your most obliged
humble servant,
I. SANCHO.