To W. A. B.
Lucknow Lodge, Berea, Durban: August 22, 1899.
I thank my God in my prayers on your behalf for His goodness in granting you His best gift—a human soul to love and to inspire. Together you will be able to know and love Him better than either of you could alone. You cannot make your love too sacred; as you know God you will learn to know one another.
We are inclined to think that we know all that love means. The truth is, we are only beginners. Thank God that we are in the school, although only in one of the lowest forms. He will teach us, as years go by, to sanctify ourselves for the sake of another. We have not learned to love until we are living the highest possible life, in order that the object of our affection may become a saint. God is giving you a present, the value of which you see in part now, you will realise fully hereafter. You must wrestle with God for her and for yourself. If you are true to the highest, both of you will rise together and see God. If you are not, she may not be able to mount alone.
I am filled with joy and hope as I think of you both. I believe that you will live for God more completely now than ever before, and that you will be a fuller blessing to your people. You have my prayers.I want you to make your ideals higher and higher. Then, when you have gained one height, you will find that what you took for the summit from the plain was not really so: there were further peaks beyond.
It is the beginning of an endless life. If God Himself be the centre of all, the nearer we are to Him, the nearer we are to one another. Iamglad that your wife is one who shares in your ideals, who lives for the highest. What a life in store for you here! And there—
Before the judgment seat,Though changed and glorified each face,Not unremembered you will meetFor endless ages to embrace.
You will be nearer the centre then, and nearer to one another.
May God Himself bless you, dear old fellow! Forgive this poor attempt at a letter. I share in your joy, although I am not actually with you. I never remember any wedding outside my own family which has given me greater pleasure. It was good of you to ask me to be present—very good.
B——, Iamglad. You must thank God and ask Him to tell you what it all means, and for her sake live as good a life as you possibly can.
With best love I am your friend,
FORBES.
To a Friend after hearing of his intended ordination.
Durban: August 1899.
Your ordination will be like my own over again. It is unutterably good of God … to put it intoyour heart to live the life which I had prayed might be yours.Meizoteran touton ouk charin, hina akouo ta ema tekna en te aletheia peripatounta…
[Transcriber's note: The Greek phrases in the above paragraph were transliterated as follows:Meizoteran—Mu, epsilon, iota, zeta, omicron, tau, epsilon, rho, alpha, nu;touton—tau, omicron, upsilon, tau, omega, nu;ouk—omicron, upsilon, kappa;charin—chi, alpha, rho, iota, nu;hina—(rough breathing mark) iota, nu, alpha;akouo—alpha, kappa, omicron, upsilon, omega;ta—tau, alpha;ema—epsilon, mu, alpha;tekna—tau, epsilon, kappa, nu, alpha;en—epsilon, nu;te—tau, eta;aletheia—alpha, lambda, eta, theta, epsilon, iota, alpha;peripatounta—pi, epsilon, rho, iota, pi, alpha, tau, omicron, upsilon, nu, tau, alpha]
… If your temptations are great it is because your nature is rich and noble; and when it is disciplined you will have tremendous power. I shall not be content until your every thought is led captive to 'the obedience of the Christ.' You are born to be a saint, and you will be wretched until you are one. You are not the kind of man who can do things by halves.
I think I have told you of my father's words spoken during his last illness: 'If I had a thousand lives, I would give them all—all to the ministry.' You will not regret your decision. If angels could envy, how they would envy us our splendid chance—to be able, in a world where everything unseen must be taken on sheer faith, in a world where the contest between the flesh and the spirit is being decided for the universe, not only to win the battle ourselves but also to win it for others! To help a brother up the mountain while you yourself are only just able to keep your foothold, to struggle through the mist together—that surely is better than to stand at the summit and beckon. You will have a hard time of it, I know; and I would like to make it smoother and to 'let you down' easier; but I am sure that God, who loves you even more than I do, and has absolute wisdom, will not tax you beyond your strength.… I'll pray for you, like the widow in the parable, and I have immense belief in prayer.… You remember what was said of Maurice, 'Healways impressed me as a man who was naturally weak in his will; but an iron will seemed to work through him.' That Will can work through you and transform you, but for God's sake don't trust to your own will.…
If you are ordained it will be because there is one who in St. Paul's words—ho aphorisas me ek koilias metros mou—was separating you from birth and educating you with a view to the Gospel of Christ.…
Tasks in hours of insight willedCan be through hours of gloom fulfilled.[1]
[1] Matthew Arnold,Morality.
[Transcriber's note: The Greek phrases in the above paragraph were transliterated as follows:ho—(rough breathing mark) omicron;aphorisas—alpha, phi, omicron, rho, iota, sigma, alpha, final sigma;me—mu, epsilon;ek—epsilon, kappa;koilias—kappa, omicron, iota, lambda, iota, alpha, final sigma;metros—mu, eta, tau, rho, omicron, final sigma;mou—mu, omicron, upsilon]
To his mother.
Estcourt, Natal; August 18, 1899.
General Gordon came to Kokstad on his way to Basutoland. When he arrived he went to the Royal Hotel, ordered a room, threw open the window, and spent two hours in prayer and meditation. The next day was Sunday. He asked Mr. Adkin what was being done for 1,000 Cape Mounted Infantry then stationed there, and when he learnt that nothing was being done for their spiritual food, he burst into tears. On Monday morning the first telegram which he sent off to the Cape Government was a request that a chaplain should be appointed. Mr. Adkin was appointed and remained chaplain until the force was disbanded. General Gordon went on to Basutoland, and had wonderful power over the natives. He told them that no force would be brought againstthem; he himself was without weapons. He was settling the country, when news came to him that the Cape Government was, contrary to stipulation, sending an armed force against them; so he left the country in twenty-four hours.
Cecil Rhodes was once at Kokstad. When he was near the place, he lay down on the hillside and exclaimed: 'Oh, how I wish they would let me alone—let me stay here!' However, he had to go down to be fêted. He was listless, and bored by the banquet, until the present mayor began to attack him violently in his speech, and to complain about the Cape Government, and to express a desire that Natal would take them over. Then Rhodes woke up with a vengeance and gave them a great speech. Ixopo is where Rhodes started out in South Africa. His name still figures on the magistrates' books—fined 10l., for selling a gun to a native.
To his cousin, J. C. H; on the occasion of the death of his brother.
December 7, 1899.
You know, without my saying it, that you have my deep sympathy and prayers at this time.… We dare not and cannot sorrow as do others who have no certain hope. Our sorrow is of another kind. For I am quite sure that
In His vast world above,A world of broader love,God hath some grand employment for His son.[1]
How real it all makes that other world, to have our own brothers there! It makes it in a deeper sense our home.
[1] Faber,The Old Labourer.
To the mother of his godchild, Margaret Forbes.
Dore House, St. Leonards: January 10, 1900.
I am so glad to feel that my little godchild will have real training. I don't know how far I received such a training myself at an early age … I came towards the end of a large family. The only permanent instruction which I can remember imparted to me by my nursery maid was a caution not to look behind me when I passed people in the street, enforced by the biblical precept, 'Remember Lot's wife.' I know what a fascination I had to look behind, accompanied by a terrible dread of the consequences.
I have always felt that Faber's 'God of my Childhood' describes the normal and true development of a child's life. I am sure that, although the gravity of sin should be early recognised, greater stress should be laid upon the Fatherhood and kindness of God. I was noticing to-day, when reading the second lesson, how Westcott and Hort have placed the clause in the Lord's Prayer which speaks of the Fatherhood of God in a line by itself as a heading to the whole prayer, putting a colon after the clause, and beginning the first petition with a capital letter. The prayer begins with 'Fatherhood' and ends with a reference to 'Sinfulness.' I think this fact is significant. We may not all be intended to come toknow religious truth in that order. But I think we are intended, when we do know it, to lay even more stress on the Fatherhood of God than on our own imperfections. It is a wonderful and terrible thing to watch the development of a human spirit. We can understand so little about any life, even when it is near and dear to us. But I am not sure that we cannot learn more about others than we can about ourselves. I never think it is profitable to study oneself too closely! I never could meditate with any profit on my sins. But there, I dare say, I differ from many others.
Well, I hope that the hair of my godchild is growing, and that she has now more than her god-father. His is coming to an untimely end.
To F. S. H; who had recently become a chaplain in the Navy.
St. Leonards: January 11, 1900.
I am thinking of you in your new, difficult, and interesting life, and wondering how you like it. Or, rather, I am sure that you like it in its main features. There are in every life drawbacks and discouragements, for we live by faith and not by sight, and faith must be perfected in the midst of perplexities and contradictions. The mists are useful. It would not do to have brilliant sunshine all the time. For in that case, where would faith come in? Steering towards our port in the fog means trusting the Pilot. 'Mercifully grant that we, which know Thee now by faith, may after this life have the fruition of Thy glorious Godhead.' I suppose that none of us fullyknows what this prayer means. I think that there will be more need of faith hereafter than we usually think. Can we ever apprehend the Father or the Son without faith? The deepest truths are grasped by faith not sight. The man who has learned to exercise faith here will have fuller scope for his faith hereafter. What a shock to wake up in the next world and to find that the riddles of life still need faith for their solution! Yet I imagine that it will be so. Only faith will be able to go deeper than here. The faith perfected in the mists of life will, in the sunshine of eternity, see deeper into the meaning of events. I wish I had more faith. Not sudden flights of faith annihilating time and space and rising up to the throne of heaven. But I wish I could ground all my actions on faith, and regularly see the invisible and live as one who could see always and everywhere the Unseen. We are schooled in different ways. We cannot attain to perfection in a night. As we advance in the Christian life progress seems slower. In some sense it is so. It is easier to cast off a number of definite bad habits clearly inconsistent with the ideal just at first, than to perfect self-sacrifice, humility, and self-discipline. But we are advancing, though we know it not. If the engines are always kept working, we shall reach our goal!
To C. N. W; who had recently been ordained.
St. Leonards-on-Sea: January 12, 1900.
You must remember how much your future efficiency is dependent upon a judicious use of yourstrength during the next two or three years. I am sure you are right in looking back upon your life and tracing in its developments a higher than human guidance. It is a helpful thing to trace now and anon God's hand in our individual life. It brings Him nearer to us, and it is an awful thought that He is actually working within us. It makes us trust Him for time to come even when the prospect is gloomy. I think that we do well to spend some time in trying to interpret details of our past life. As years go on, we should have such a firm faith founded on the rock of experience that we will not be lightly shaken. Peace should be a characteristic of our life—the joy and peace which come from a certainty that there is a Purpose in all events. The sense that God has been with us in the past is a help in interpreting the history of our nation. Even our troubles are a proof that He is disciplining us. For the service of Intercession, which my brother uses in Westminster Abbey at the time of this war, the opening sentence is 'The Lord our God be with us,' and the answer is, 'As He was with our fathers.'
The College is getting on well. You must come up and see me this year, while you still know a number of men. I have now a little evening service—compline—in my rooms at 10 o'clock; Masterman asked me to have it. He asked men to come, and they asked others. I purposely refrained from asking any one. We are sometimes a goodly number. I think it is helpful to those who come. It is, I know, to me. We have
To G. J. C.
Christ's College, Cambridge: 1900.
Gwatkin has exploded Anthony, 'who never existed.' But for all that I think Anthony is much like Adam and Eve. The originals may 'never have existed.' Yet their story belongs to all time. And there will be Anthonies and Adams and Eves to the end of time. It comforts me to feel that that which makes for evil is not my true self, but a wretched, cunning animal existence independent of me, existing before I came into being, although capable of appealing to me—a serpent.
I am half glad and half sorry to hear of your harmonium. Public worship is a terribly difficult thing, and it is well at times that we should realise its difficulties, and have it stripped bare of many helpful accessories. Yet worship in a village church impresses me. As in a college chapel, I realise then the continuity of the race. An old church tells me of generations of men who lived my life, to whom the present was everything, and the dead almost nothing, who never could seriously believe that some day the world would whirl and follow the sun without them. It tells me more than most things of what St. Paul means when he said that we were all making one perfect man. And I am humbled and thankful to know that I in my generation can do something towards the Christ 'that is to be.'
Read the Old Testament itself. Nothing willatone for lack of knowledge of the Bible. Robertson Smith's and Adam Smith's books (especially the latter's) on the Old Testament Prophets ought to prove useful.… When I call a man by his Christian name, I usually make it a rule to pray for him. I shall do so in your case. I will try to pray every day. I wonder whether you would sometimes pray for me: I believe immensely in the power of prayer. It is the greatest favour I can ask of you, and I know I have no right to prefer the request; but it would be kind of you if you could occasionally. One needs all the help one can get in this strange life up here. Now I will end. I have written you a strange, unreserved letter. Forgive me. How I wish this dreadful war was at an end! U——'s going was a blow to me; but I am sure he did the right thing. I admire and love that man.…
To G. J. C.
Castleton, Swanage: 1900.
… You will not have misinterpreted my silence. I could not answer your letter until I had secured a time for quiet thought and for prayer. When I try to write, I feel the uselessness of words. I am doing better when I am praying for you than when I am writing to you. Yet I must write.… It is strange that God should have made us thus. To those whom He honours most He gives largest capacity for love, and therefore largest capacity for suffering. It is still more strange that we would not wish to bewithout the love in spite of the agony which it brings. It must be because
All loves are shadows castBy the beautiful eternal hillsOf Thine unbeginning past.
I feel this truth 'in seasons of calm weather.' But at other times I ask myself, I ask God, angrily, Why should some men have no obstacle to their love? Why should another suffer more than any one can tell—more than, it sometimes seems to me, can ever be requited? I cannot answer the question. But I often think of the great unsatisfied heart of God, and then I think of this poor unsatisfied heart made in His image, and I feel that He understands me, and that I understand Him better than I used to do, before this terrible hunger of love began.
I pray God that He will deal tenderly with you, G——, and I am sure that He will. It cuts me to the heart to think of your suffering, and I would stop it this moment if I could. So would God—for He loves you more than I do—unless it were the best thing for you. It is written of the Son of man,emathen aph on epathen. May the same words be true of you and of me! God bless you and give you Light and Peace!
Peace is something more than joy,Even the joys above;For peace, of all created things,Is likest Him we love.
[Transcriber's note: The Greek phrase in the above paragraph was transliterated as follows:emathen—epsilon, mu, alpha, theta, epsilon, nu;aph—alpha, phi;on—emega, nu;epathen—epsilon, pi, alpha, theta, epsilon, nu]
This letter may appear cold to you. It is not. I feel more deeply than I write.… Some day, ifyou care to hear, I will tell you something about my own imperfect life. I can't write it down. Later the day will dawn. But God sends the darkness that we may learn to trust Him, I have never yet found Him to fail. We cannot trust Him too much.
To the mother of a friend, after having been present at his funeral.
Cambridge: April 22, 1900.
I feel I must write and tell you how grateful I am to you for your kindness in allowing me to be present on Thursday. Whenever I think of your son who has passed away, that text comes into my mind: 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.' He was pure in heart, and I cannot think of him as lifeless, but as actually seeing God.… I am thankful to have been allowed to be his friend. I shall never forget him; his life remains a source of strength and inspiration to me. It comforts me now to know that he is sinking deeper and deeper into the peace of God, which passeth all understanding. You were talking to me about W——; I could not say all that I wished to say.… I am very, very slow to suggest ordination to a man. I realise the responsibility of doing so, but there is no man whom I desire to see ordained more than W——; he has been to me more help than I can possibly say. I dare not try to tell you all that he has done for me, because you would think I was exaggerating. I cannot help feeling that, if he helps me so much, he might help others also, and that, if he were ordained,he would have singular opportunities for rendering such help. But I do not press him in the matter, because I might do wrong; but I pray again and again that, if God wishes him to be ordained, He will make His purpose clear, and I am quite sure that He will not leave us in the dark.
To C. T. W.
Cambridge: July 1900.
I was delighted to read in the paper yesterday of your election to a fellowship.… The life will be a harder one than that of an ordinary parish clergyman; it will be easier to lose sight of ideals. But the importance of the work is in proportion to its difficulty. Blessed is the man who finds his work, and does it; and you will be blessed.…
You should read St. Patrick's 'Confession,' a genuine work of my distinguished countryman. It is full of humility and zeal. I give you a quotation: 'After I had come to Ireland I used daily to feed cattle, and I often prayed during the day. More and more did the love of God and the fear of Him increase, and faith became stronger and the spirit was moved; so that in one day I said as many as a hundred prayers, and in the night nearly the same.… And there was no sluggishness in me, as I now see there is, for at that time the spirit was fervent within me.' Pathetic—that last part. He might have been living at Cambridge! But I hope better things for you.
To C. T. W.
Thirlmere: September 1900.
My thoughts are with you now—and my prayers. 'He had seven stars—in His right hand,' was the thought which comforted me at my own ordination, when I felt, as seldom before, my own hollowness and incapacity. We can shed light—we are safe—because we are 'in His right hand.' 'The eternal God is our refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.' We can never go beyond His love and care. In moments of perplexity and uncertainty, although we cannot feel His presence, He is there. 'In His right hand.' 'They that turn many to righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever.'
May God give you the power to love and the power to pray! Much prayer and much love are needed for a successful ministry. Good-bye, and God bless you and make you a true and faithful pastor! Remember St. Paul's words:he dunamis en astheneia teleitai. edista oun mallon kauchesomai en tais astheneiais, hina episkenose ep eme he dunamis tou Christou; hotan gar artheno, tote dunatos eimi.
[Transcriber's note: The Greek phrases above were transliterated as follows:he—(rough breathing mark) eta;dunamis—delta, upsilon, nu, alpha, mu, iota, final sigma;en—epsilon, nu;astheneia—alpha, sigma, theta, epsilon, nu, epsilon, iota, alpha;teleitai—tau, epsilon, lambda, epsilon, iota, tau, alpha, iota;edista—eta, delta, iota, sigma, tau, alpha;oun—omicron, upsilon, nu;mallon—mu, alpha, lambda, lambda, omicron, nu;kauchesomai—kappa, alpha, upsilon, chi, eta, sigma, omicron, mu, alpha, iota;en—epsilon, nu;tais—tau, alpha, iota, final sigma;astheneiais—alpha, sigma, theta, epsilon, nu, epsilon, iota, alpha, iota, final sigma;hina—(rough breathing mark) iota, nu, alpha;episkenose—epsilon, pi, iota, sigma, kappa, eta, nu, omega, sigma, eta;ep—epsilon, pi;eme—epsilon, mu, epsilon;he—(rough breathing mark) eta;dunamis—delta, upsilon, nu, alpha, mu, iota, final sigma;tou—tau, omicron, upsilon;Christou—Chi, rho, iota, sigma, tau, omicron, upsilon;hotan—(rough breathing mark) omicron, tau, alpha, nu;gar—gamma, alpha, rho;artheno—alpha, rho, theta, epsilon, nu, omega;tote—tau, omicron, tau, epsilon;dunatos—delta, upsilon, nu, alpha, tau, omicron, final sigma;eimi—epsilon, iota, mu, iota]
To W. D. H.
Dale Head Post Office, Thirlmere, September 20, 1900.
My thoughts and my prayers are with you at this time. I remember how at my own ordination, when I felt as never before my own utter weakness and incapacity, the thoughts in the first chapter of the Revelation, of Christian ministers as 'stars in Hisright hand' comforted and supported me. In His right hand—with His power we can do all things. As the lesson for to-day says,he dunamis en astheneia teleitai, strength is perfected in weakness.hotan astheno tote dunatos eimi.
[Transcriber's note: The Greek phrases above were transliterated as follows:he—(rough breathing mark) eta;dunamis—delta, upsilon, nu, alpha, mu, iota, final sigma;en—epsilon, nu;astheneia—alpha, sigma, theta, epsilon, nu, epsilon, iota, alpha;teleitai—tau, epsilon, lambda, epsilon, iota, tau, alpha, iota;hotan—(rough breathing mark) omicron, tau, alpha, nu;astheno—alpha, sigma, theta, epsilon, nu, omega;tote—tau, omicron, tau, epsilon;dunatos—delta, upsilon, nu, alpha, tau, omicron, final sigma;eimi—epsilon, iota, mu, iota]
You will feel more, as years go on, the greatness of the task which you are undertaking—the overwhelming responsibility—the dread lest through any carelessness on your part one of the least of the sheep may be lost. But you will also feel more and more that you are 'in His right hand.' And if the eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms, you need not fear what the devil or man can do unto you. I pray that God may be with you and give you the spirit of prayer and the spirit of love. Your ministry will only be effective if you pray much and love much. And if you make mistakes, yet if you love much your sins will be forgiven.
To his brother, a doctor in South Africa.
September 1900.
When I feel what the grace of God has done for my life, what it is doing, what it will do, I can despair of no one else. I am filled with wonder and amazement and thanksgivings and hopes. I am sometimes so thankful that I still live, that in a world of light and dark shadows I can show my faith in God, before the other world dawns with its full day and unclouded brightness—and most of all that I can here and now pray for those whom He has taught me to love. I cannot conceive this world without prayer. It isworth while making any efforts, however desperate, to learn to pray. When the Day dawns, how wonderful it will be to look back and trace the path through which He has led us in the Twilight!
To F. J. C.
Christ's College, Cambridge: 1900.
The more He tries you by His silence, the greater to my mind is the proof that He believes in you. He knows you will come through. He has great work for you to do, and therefore you need a strong perfected faith, and He is trying to give you it.
I am so sorry at what you tell me about prayer. But do go on. When things are at their darkest light comes. After all God knows how much you can bear, and He will not, if you will only persevere, allow you to be utterly confounded. Don't be in the least discouraged at your inability to concentrate your attention. Even a man who had lived in the presence of God for years has told us that
The world that looks so dull all dayGlows bright on me at prayer,And plans that ask no thought but these,Wake up and meet me there.My very flesh has restless fits;My changeful limbs conspireWith all these phantoms of the mindMy inner self to tire.
Do you expect to fare better, when you are exercising faculties which have been for long more or less dormant? The same man goes on to say—and Ithink it is a comforting truth—that God sees further than we do, sees what we mean:
These surface troubles come and go,Like rufflings of the sea;The deeper depth is out of reachTo all, my God, but Thee.
Even if your conscience condemns you, remember that God is greater than your conscience. He sees that youwantto pray, and the battle is half won when there is even the want. I like these old words of the hymn:
Satan trembles when he seesThe weakest saint upon his knees,
even if he can't collect his thoughts. I find it usually easier to pray for others than for myself. I believe in beginning by praying for what is easiest. I don't kneel down. I find it more possible to concentrate my attention when I am walking about or sitting down. And I tell God what I know about a man, and how I want him to live a better life. Sometimes I seem to struggle for him as though for very life. I go on and on and on—sometimes repeating the same request. I try to copy the poor widow who wearied out the dishonest judge. I am not distressed when my thoughts wander, I know that they will always wander without God's help. The distress occasioned by wandering thoughts, and the attempt to trace the stages by which they wandered, I regard as temptations of the devil.… I go back as calmly as possible to the matter in hand.
Excuse my 'egoism.' I put it in the first person,because I believe my own experience will help you more than rules derived from the experience of others.
Suppose you spend half an hour in this way, and only really pray for three or four minutes, your efforts will be more than rewarded. You will have done more than you know for the person for whom you have prayed. And the next half-hour you will find that you can concentrate your attention for a minute or two longer. Don't think too much about yourself when you pray. You must lose your soul if you would save it.
There is probably some one thing or some one person easier than others for you to pray for. Begin with that.
I never try, as some people do, to classify and enter into details about my sins. I bring the whole contradictory, weary, and unintelligible mass of them to God, and leave them with Him. I am quite sure I shall never do better without Him. But I know that He believes in me, and will help me in spite of myself. He believes in you too, dear old fellow! May God bless you for your kindness to me! Write me just a short note to tell me that you don't despise me in spite of what must seem to you rather unintelligible and ridiculous confessions.
I can't help it. And if you can bring yourself to do it, call me too by my Christian name.
To the same.
Christ's College, Cambridge: September 28, 1900.
I feel more and more the necessity of being alone occasionally for some time—to get time enough topray. I think my supreme desire is to be a man of prayer. You must help me to accomplish the desire: 'Gutta cavat lapidem non vi, sed saepe cadendo.'
So it is with prayer. As the stone gets worn away, not by the force of the drop of water but by its constant trickling, so prayer often renewed must at length attain its end. It is a wonderful privilege to be able to state all one's wishes and hopes for others in prayer—to know that there can be there no possibility of misunderstanding—to tell to God the incomprehensible depth of one's love, and to feel that He knows what it means, because He Himself is love. It is glorious to be made in His image, and to be sure that all one's highest yearnings are a reflection—however broken, partial, and unsightly—of His own marvellous life. We have indeed cause to be grateful for our 'creation.' I often look at the poor dumb creatures, and thank God that He has given me such full powers of love, which they cannot understand: for I would rather have the pains of love than any other pleasure.
To F. S. H., a chaplain in the Navy.
Cambridge: November 4, 1900.
I ought to have written before this. The fact that I did not answer at once is partly accounted for by my having a good deal of work to do, and partly by physical weakness. I have not been very well this term. It is cruel of you to suspect me of having forgotten all about you. I am not that sort. I owe too much to you in the past ever to forget you.I don't think that you really suspected me of inconstancy. I am so sorry that you are sometimes lonely and very miserable. I feel at times weak, physically weak. I think that at such times one can lean back, as it were, on the Divine arms. He understands our weakness and weariness. He knows what loneliness and sadness mean. And He is not extreme to mark what we do amiss. He knows that we are but flesh. And He 'dwells not in the light alone, but in the darkness and the light.' Even when the darkness hides Him and we cannot find where He is, we can, as it were, reach out our hands to Him, and we are safe. God has much to teach us while we are teaching others. And life is not exactly the same as we thought at the beginning. He teaches us by unexpected experiences. But the comfort is that He never changes; we may be weary, but He never slumbers nor sleeps. Sometimes we feel very fit and capable. Then is the time to pray and to rise to the heights. Later, when we are incapable, although it is hard to rise, we need not fall. When the mist clears we can go on again, and it may be that we shall find that even in the mist we had gone further than we thought. The deep snow and the long dark rainy days are necessary for the perfecting of the fruit, as well as the sunshine. And we do need sunshine. I feel more and more grateful and thankful to God for His goodness. He has been so good to me, and I don't deserve it. And I think that if you look back and look forward you will feel more and more His marvellous sympathy and affection. I am glad you have been reading Robertson's Life. Though hemay have been almost morbid at times, he was a great man and did a great work.… You will find later that your work has been far more effective than you expected. Don't try to rush it. You can't help men much until you know them very well; and when you know them you find how utterly different they are from what you had expected them to be. At least I do. No two men are alike. Each man that you come really to know is utterly different from any man you have ever met or will meet.
To F. J. C.
Christ's College, Cambridge: November 5, 1900.
It is good of you to think of me and above all to pray for me. I need your prayers—and most of all when I am run down and unable to pray myself. I can see the mountain top at times: then the mist comes down, and I cannot see the way; I try to keep where I am, though I may not be able to advance; and when the mist clears I go on again. Possibly, sometimes, we may be going forward even in the mist, although we seem to be making no progress, or going backward.
God judges by a lightWhich baffles mortal sight.
I often wish I had more physical strength and was able to do what other men can do; but I can't. And I have no doubt that all is well—that I am made to do one particular piece of work, and that I have strength enough for that—and thank God for that.
To a brother in South Africa.
December 1900.
It is a marvellous thought that God can reveal Himself to man—even primitive man. In those stories Jehovah is very near to man. He walks in the garden at nightfall. He shuts Noah into the Ark. He comes down to see the city and the tower 'which the children of men builded.' He talks with Moses face to face as a man speaketh to his friend—and a ladder connects heaven and earth, and the angels, instead of using wings, walk up and down the ladder—and, behold, Jehovah stood above it. At any moment you might meet Jehovah Himself. Three men come to see Abraham—and Jehovah has appeared to him. A man wrestles with Jacob, and he has seen God face to face. They were right when they thought of God as very near to man, of man as capable of reflecting God's likeness. Ye too shall see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon—the Son of man. It is good for us as children to read these stories to realise that heaven is very near to earth. It is good for us as men to read them again to realise that heaven is even nearer earth than we thought as children. As I said before, how marvellous it is that God can reveal Himself to man and through man, that He has revealed Himself entirely, 'the perfect man,' as Maurice says, reflecting the perfect God—God and man so near one to the other that men can look upon the Son of man and see God—see Him in His perfection! Our years ought to be bound each toeach by natural piety. The child should surely be the father of the man.
With age Thou growest more divine,More glorious than before;I fear Thee with a deeper fearBecause—I love Thee more.
I have been reading Moody's Life. It has much the same effect as Finney's used to have in days gone by—it creates a longing to work and live for God, to bring men nearer to Him, to come nearer to Him myself. Whom have I in heaven but Thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire in comparison of Thee.
What a wonderful thing that we, as a family, are so united—that our Ideal is so much the same—isn't it?
To F. S. H.
St. Moritz: January 6, 1901.
I have succeeded in unfreezing my ink, so I can write and—although it is late to do so—wish you a happy new century. It is only once in a lifetime that one can do that sort of thing! I am out here for my health. I wasn't up to much last term. However, I am as fit as a lord now, and return to Cambridge this week. I have been reading out here two very different kinds of books. One is Wellhausen's 'History of Israel,' the other Moody's Life by his son. Wellhausen's book gives you in outline the position of modern advanced criticism of the Old Testament. I have never before studied the history from the critical point of view really seriously. The study has proved extraordinarily interesting, and Imust say that in the main I agree thoroughly with Wellhausen's position. You will see it more or less clearly put in that 'History of the Hebrew People' in two small volumes by Kent which I recommended to you before. The history of the gradual progress of the divine revelation to the human race is a marvellous study: the way in which that people were educated to become the teachers of the world is utterly different from anything which we should have devised. I am struck more and more by the marvellous fact that God can and does reveal Himself—in His essential moral nature—to man; that we are so made that we can apprehend the revelation; nay, that we in turn can in measure reveal Him to men!
Moody's Life stirs me up to realise more the worth of the individual, the surpassing value of man's moral and spiritual nature. I long to help men to see what I see, to love Him whom I love, and the failure of my efforts is largely, I feel, due to defects in myself. Still I do not despair of doing something.