CHAPTER II.

My “Second Birth.”—Consecration for the Priesthood.—Religious Training.—Death of my Father.—English Schools.—Zeal for Idolatry.

The Brahmun boys are not permitted to touch idols or to perform any religious services until they are become “Second born.” Accordingly at the age of thirteen, I believe, I was consecrated to Brahmun life.

On a bright summer day the friends from far and near assembled together at our house, having been previously invited to attend the ceremony. In the course of the services the officiating priest cut three locks of my hair in the name of the three principal Hindoo deities, Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiba; then the barber shaved my head and put two small ear-rings in my ears according to the religious law. After invoking the presence, approbation, and blessing of hundreds of gods, the priest put a thread round my neck. It is a sacred badge of the Brahmuns, made of cotton, and not worn by the low castes. A yellow robe was thrown over me, and a veil round my face, and I was conducted into my room. The period of staying in this room without seeing any low-caste man is either of three, five, or seven days, during which the Second born learns his Shundhas—the especial forms of prayer. These are long, philosophically constructed, and regardedverysacred. The low castes dare not hear of nor utter a word of them. My term in this secluded room was very short,—only three days,—becausemy good, thoughtful father had taught me those things beforehand, charging me not to tell them to any low castes. I found them very useful now as I was to repeat them three times a day.

Now begins a new scene in life in regard to religious affairs. We had an image of Krishto at our house, and I had to worship it twice every day, besides the idols of other families occasionally. Early in the morning I would go after flowers for the worship. The rules for gathering flowers are numerous, yet beautiful when understood. First, wash your hands; do not put your dirty fingers upon the delicate, clean person of the flowers; be very careful not to break a branch or to pluck a bud; do not smell of any flower before you have offered it to the gods; keep the basket with its treasures in your hand, and place it not on the ground. Leaving the flowers at home, I would go to the school for instruction, where again my discipline was novel. I must not put anything into my mouth, nor sit on the same seat with boys of other castes, etc. In the street the young as well as the grown-up low castes would salute me, and I had to raise my little hands to bless them, saying, “Be victorious!” or “Live forever!”

Some would bring a little water in the palm of their hands, desiring me to touch it by the end of my first toe of the right foot, that they might drink it. The form of words used by all the Brahmuns for this purpose means something like this: “The sanctity of the right foot of the Second Born is equal to the sanctity of the world and sea combined together.” Heretofore I had no especial rules to observe in time of eating, but now I must bathe first, then offer my prayer, worship the idols, and afterward take luncheon. Again, keep silent while eating; I must not leave my seat onanyaccount, unless I choose to forfeit my meal; I must spare something on the plate for the creeping things, etc.

I would speak of my daily idol worship. After washing myself, either in the river Ganges or in some tank (in the latter case the Hindoos sprinkle a few drops of the sacred water on the head), I would go into the room where the image was kept on a small wooden throne, elegantly furnished with cushions, pillows, curtains, etc. On the floor there was a carpet-seat for me, some copper and brazen vessels, a hand-bell, a large plate, with a good display of flowers, perfumatory powder, and some edibles. Bringing down the idol from its throne, I would put it into a vessel and pour water on its head by the right hand and ring the bell by the other, uttering some words at the same time. Wiping it with small towels, I would put it on a seat and scatter flowers, powder, etc., on its head with much ceremony, offering prayer and praise to it, ask its glance at the edibles, etc., and finally prostrate myself on the ground in humiliation, and partake of the “food offered to the idol.” By and by, when the dinner had been cooked and set in order, I would carry the idol into the dining-room and offer the food to it the second time.

While I was thus worshipping the idol, and forming plans for a higher grade of devotion, my father was removed from this to the world above. I was then fourteen years old, I think. He suffered a fortnight from a fever, which finally brought an end to his existence. He retained his consciousness, yea, even his literary priestly sensibilities, unto the very last. It is customary in our country to read, from Hindoo sacred books, to the sick. A priest was called upon to do this service to my father. When he had finished his reading, my father remarked: “Friend, to sell needles to a blacksmith is not an easy matter; what you read to me has beenparticularlymeant for a case different from mine.” I was not at home when he died, having gone to Calcutta to aBrahmun woman who had taken much interest in my father. While I was returning home in the afternoon a neighbor inquired of me “if I knew how my father was,” and receiving a negative answer said, “Go home and you will see.” Drawing myself nearer home the cries from my friends told me my dear father was dead. His body was then on the funeral pile on the bank of the Ganges, but I could not see it. They would not let me go there. He did not leave any fortune for us. While breathing his last, he said to my mother that the richest thing he left for her was Ish-ur, or God; and, next to him, the “three diamonds,” his three sons. “These three,” he said, “duly and rightly used, will meet all your wants.” My uncle, the younger brother of my father, stretched forth his kind hands over us. Not being a religious man himself, and inclined to follow the fashion of the community, he desired me to study English part of the time, and requested a fine Hindoo young man, a student of the “Hindoo College,” to give me instruction. Accordingly I began to study what is called “the language of the Jobuns,” and the first English book I had was Murray’s Spelling-Book. Some four or five boys came in, and we formed a class. Our teacher had only half an hour to give to us, and after he had gone to his own school we used to talk foolishly, play tricks, tear each others’ books, and thereby used to enjoygoodbut frequentlybadtimes. Finding me little promising, our teacher advised my uncle to send me to a good English school, which he accordingly did. It was a government school, at the distance of a mile and a half from our house. I was admitted into the third class, and our studies were The First Reader, Elements of the English Grammar, and Geography. There being no especial teacher over our class, the second teacher had the charge of the two, consequently he held to the one, and tooklittle care of the other. Not being able to hear each boy read and recite, he would ask every second or fourth boy to read a paragraph. We could know at once if anything would fall to our lot, and could prepare that particularly. In the course of four months a Bengalee gentleman, fresh from college, became appointed as the third teacher, and we followed him to his forms. He was a very irritable man, and would use his whip quite smartly and frequently too. Among ten or twelve unfortunate boys who were the favored recipients of his whip and blows I was one. Receiving some stripes for a couple of days, I determined to get rid of them, because I had never met with these disagreeable things before. The trouble was, I did not know how to prepare my lesson; I wanted some help, but could not get it. He, seeing me tolerably good in other studies, found out that I was not “totally depraved.” So one day he asked me when I studied my lesson at home. I told him I did not understand what study at home was; for I open my books at school and nowhere else, as my friends do not know English to guide me. He kindly suggested to me what to do. I followed the advice, and in a week became one of the leading boys in the class. One thing is worth observing, as far as modesty will permit, that whoever was acquainted with me, admired my faculty of retaining things in the memory. Those who know me can testify well to this point, but for my part I can simply say this, that if I had anything in me which drew the attention of a large circle, it was my memory. To-day I can repeat word by word the chief part of the books which I had read ten years ago. Whatever prizes I acquired in the schools were rather due to my memory than anything else. When I had made some progress in English studies, and my uncle refused to supply me with all the books I needed, to the surprise of theschool, I retained my honorable position in the class, although I did not have more than four or five books out of eight or nine,—the studies for the time. At this time my uncle, who was a widower, married a young girl whose mother came to live with her. She is a remarkable woman. Not having a good time with her husband, as he had several wives at the same time, she fled from home with her daughter of seven or eight years old, and some money, came to our place and married her infant child to my uncle without the knowledge of her nearest relatives, who made violent struggles for her afterward; but it was too late. After staying a year or more at our house, the woman managed to poison my uncle’s mind and destroy the peace of the family forever. Quarrels, misunderstandings, rash and unkind remarks, often marred the domestic happiness. In order to vex my mother, she would, before her presence, speak slander of others; ridicule the words of the Brahmuns, teach villainous stories to the children, sing audibly nonsensical, comic pieces, and make rude remarks, etc. My mother used to send me away with my books to some neighbor’s house, and would keep herself in her own room. By day and night my mother’s prayer became at this period, “Gods, remove me and my children to a wilderness, among the wild beasts and the fowls who do not know slander, neither do what they ought not.” For fear of the odium which would naturally fall upon him, my uncle could not withdraw his help at once, but gradually effected the object under various pretences. We could hear distinctly in the evening the mother-in-law of my uncle entreat him to stop the expense of my studies. In justice to him I should say, that a great many times he rebuked her, saying, “His father has committed Joguth to my care; it wouldn’t look well to neglect him. If he grows a man, he will doubtless be ahelp to me.” But though “he feared not God, nor cared for man,” her importunity wrought a revolution in his feelings. The regulation of the school required the pupils to bring their school-fee on the first day of the month in advance, and in default thereof they would be sent home. My uncle would not give the money in season; he would make excuses, and I had to stay at home. Thus in the early part of every month I was compelled to be absent, and of course lose my high place in the class. My teacher once opened the register to show Mr. R. Hand, the head teacher, how my rank miserably suffered for my absence during the time of delayed payment for the schooling. Finally my uncle said he was in debt, and it cost him a great deal to support us, so he could not pay the expenses of my studies any longer. It was a dreadful calamity to me, which will be ever remembered.

The very boys who were juniors to me, and whom I used to help in various ways, made astonishing progress in a few years, while I remained almost where I was. The idea of taking instruction privately from one who knew more than I did, did not satisfy me, for I had tasted the pleasures of the school, deriving much from maps, globes, library, and competition too.

There were free schools in Calcutta, founded by the missionaries, but the expenses of attending them from Balie would be treble what it cost me in the Ooterparah, Government School. For a year I remained at home, making little progress in the English studies, and performing the priestly functions as well as I could. Afterwards I was admitted to several schools, but in none could I prosecute my course for more than five or six months. Although busy in my scholastic duties, I did not give up the habit of observing the fasts, worship, etc., of my country. Yea, these troublesand misfortunes fixed my eyes steadfastly upon the idols, and happily brought me to the arms of the “King eternal, immortal, the only-wise God,”—the loving Father of the universe!

With a double zeal and devotion I pursued the course laid out by my father; the love for the gods grew stronger, and their lives, as displayed in our sacred books, seemed sweeter. Desiring to live and move within a broad sphere of piety,—to observe the rituals and fasts with the enthusiasm of grown-up persons, I made a new routine for the exercises. The daily “morning bath” in the sacred river Ganges is held by the Hindoos as a great religious act, productive of spiritual excellence. I took a vow to do this regularly. At this period a peculiar feeling, which is almost foreign to most of the Hindoos, seemed to dawn its splendor upon me; it was an earnest desire to see my gods respected, feared, and worshipped by all, and to bring all men under their allegiance. This very desire, when reawakened by Christ, and I forsook the idols, gave a sincere response to that soul-stirring sentiment—

“Be thou, O God, exalted high;And as thy glory fills the sky,So let it be on earth displayed,Till thou art here, as there obeyed.”

“Be thou, O God, exalted high;

And as thy glory fills the sky,

So let it be on earth displayed,

Till thou art here, as there obeyed.”

I summoned all my energies to serve the gods and goddesses according to the rules laid down in the Hindoo Scriptures. In the morning I would go after the choice flowers, that I might satisfy the idols with just what they are fond of; for some Hindoo gods are fond of a certain kind of flower or leaf which the others do not care for. It pained me exceedingly to see the young men, my neighbors, go without prayer, worship, or fast. I persuaded them to follow my standard,—assured them if they would only come to thegods, their imperfections, wants, sorrows, would be removed by the celestial grace. My exhortation found immediate response from them. Among them two were shamefully lazy,—could not prepare their lessons at all,—were the worst boys of every school they went to. These finding me in a better and more honorable position, begged me to show to them the source whence flows “all good and perfect gifts.” As I had myself strong faith in the benevolent disposition of the gods I urged my friends to come to them for help. Accordingly a party of young devotees was formed under my guidance, of whom all were Brahmuns. Being large in number, and having among us daring elements, we could gather the best flowers from distant parts of our village for the worship. While other Brahmuns had hardly left their beds we were on the tops of large trees, and there filled our baskets with varieties of flowers. We would then move towards the Ganges, where, performing our ablutions according to the prescribed rules, we visited the principal temple to worship the image of Shiba. As my friends did not know how to worship it, and what form of prayer to use in the different parts of the service, I had to do the business of the priest, uttering audibly the sacred words learned of my father, and making them recite after me. Before leaving the temple I would decorate the altar and the image with the flowers, using all my skill and earnestness. So regular were our visits to the temple, so many flowers were carried there, that other Brahmuns coming in earlier would say, “Joguth has not been here yet, we see.” The Hindoos fast a great many days during the year, so I wished to do; but my mother interposed, as it would have destroyed my health to abstain from food and drink entirely for twenty-four hours. I used to observe one fast only,—in the month of February, I believe. It is called ShibaRattree, or the Night of Shiba. The first part of the day was less trying, but in the afternoon and night the face would turn pale, the eyes sink, the body become weak, etc. Still, hoping to receive a blessed seat in the heaven of Shiba, I would bear all these, and go through abstinence with a cheerful heart. Once, while quite a number of us fasted, the forenoon passed along nicely with fun, plays, and walks. A friend older than I left us, and after an hour returned again. I noticed his face looked easy, entirely different from that of an hour ago, and suspected he had, perhaps, taken some food, and asked him about it. Before he had time to say yea or nay, I saw something yellow on his lip which proved to be the remainder of a fruit he had eaten. At this one felt indignant, a second laughed out, a third said he would not fast longer. I was left with one more to satisfy Shiba, by passing the whole day and night without food or drink. My belief in the gods was so strong, my faith in their protecting power was so unwavering, that I thought I could hold close communion with them, see their smiles beaming forth out of the eyes and mouth of the images. To Shiba I prayed for learning; to Luckhy for wealth; to Doorga for relief from dangers; to Krishto for heaven,—and I was pretty sure of getting them. Little did I dream then that these deities are mere idols, whom I worshipped, loved, and feared, and for whose grace I fasted so hopefully. During the time of evening worship, when hundreds of lights were burned, the band played, the incense filled the place with sweet perfume, and joy shed its charms over all, I would stand reverently before the image, look earnestly at its face, repeat silent prayers, and thereby feel myself happy. At the close, I would kneel down, or sometimes prostrate myself on the ground with humiliation.

The Brahmuns desired my mother to commit me to theircharge, which she did not, for various reasons. One of them, who had a large parish, would send a substitute round quite often to the houses of his people to worship the idols for them. I had to go, too, to a town across the river Ganges to attend to the images. So strong was my affection for the idols, so earnest was I to see all people worship unceasingly, that while playing cards with my friends one day, I proposed an extra worship of the goddess. The little band approved it; the cost was counted and found too large for our private pocket to afford. I encouraged them with a promise to construct the image with my own hand. They considered the possibility of the enterprise, and we at once set out to work. Accordingly, bamboo was brought, a piece of board, nails, straw, string, etc., were secured. Fearing our parents would interfere with this, we carried the materials to the top of a house, which in our country is flat. One day a respectable Brahmun, looking at the parapet, saw the hands of the image and came upstairs to see what we had done. The neighbors flocked in to see, admire, and help at our work, and a universal enthusiasm prevailed. A great many doubted my ability to finish the idol, but I think I did it nicely. My oldest brother painted it, and we received the praise of the people. To commemorate this event we worshipped the idol annually, defraying the expenses by subscription. It makes me smile to think that, when my friends invited me to take the lead, as usual, in things in subsequent years, I pointed out to them the error of idol worship. Of course they did not feel like myself, so they came to a conclusion that I had grown crazy, and would certainly become Christian very soon!

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