CHAPTER V.

Interest in America.—Desire and Purpose to go.—My Friend agrees to accompany me.—Ill reports of America.—Horror of Slavery.—My Friend fails me.—Will go alone.—Arrangements.—My Mother.—Last Days at Home.—Voyage.—Arrival in America.—My Experiences here.

As I was studying that phase of the American mind so richly exhibited in the Unitarian tracts and books,—the sweet eloquence of Channing, the astonishing clearness of the arguments of Burnap, the spiritual insight of Bartol, etc.,—I was drawn very close to America. I thought these people must be wonders, who have been able to sift out substantial grains from a mass of chaff. Often with an exulting heart, I have thanked God that the simplicity of the gospel is not lost,—that the Christianity of the Apostles did not die under the sentence of the Nicene Council, but is still alive, in good health, andeverwill be, until our Master has brought the whole world to subjection unto his Father and our Father, and the creation bends its knee before the throne of his God and our God, in thename, or more distinctly, in theSpiritof Christ.

My interest was not confined to the Unitarians of America, but it extended to the country itself. I wanted to know about the people, the customs, government, and prosperity of the country as much as possible. Theveryfew books which I could get hold of, containing accounts of America, were eagerly perused; and that portion of the history of England which speaks of the American Revolution, was readover and over with a throbbing heart. I felt indignant at the proceedings of England against America, and in my sympathy suffered with the American people, who I thought were better Christians than the English. I prayed for and rejoiced at their prosperity, and determined to visit them some time. Such was my habit of looking at the map of North America, that the boys at our school used to joke me, saying, “There, there is your America!” In our family circle every opportunity was availed of to speak of the United States. My dear mother, who rejoices at the prosperity of others, and hates tyranny and injustice, heard with great pleasure of the American Independence. But hearing me speak so much and so often of America, the younger portion of the family, such as my sisters, aunt, etc., would joke me whenever an opportunity was offered. For instance, if I said, “This cloth is not good,” “You will find a better one in Amārică,” was their joke.

One bright Sunday forenoon, three of us were coming from Bali to worship at Mr. Dall’s chapel, and a conversation took place upon the future welfare of Unitarian missions in India. Our valued friend, Baboo C. C. Singha, suggested that it would be a grand thing for the mission if some of us who are so closely connected with the mission would go to visit the brethren in America, tell them of our needs, offer thanks in our behalf for the blessing they have sent in the person of Mr. Dall, and bring home their help and sympathy. As for himself, he said he could do this errand elegantly, were it not for his wife and children and his school. I responded to his suggestion, and informed him of my desire,—that this very thing had been the all-engrossing subject in my mind. There was a young man, a native Christian, who wished to join me, and thus we reached the chapel, making suggestions, discussions, and resolutions on our way.

After the service, Chundy Baboo spoke to Mr. Dall about our wish to visit the American brethren. He approved of it, looked at us with a kind heart, and gave us encouragement. There was present with us a gentleman, Mr. J. M. Hurd, of Clinton, Mass., who promised to report us to the brethren at home, and to ask the American Unitarian Association to respond to our wishes.

A few months passed away. Advices from Mr. Dall came to our friend C. C. Singha, Esq., and he asked us if we were ready, and firm in our position. I told him that I was firm but not quite ready to take a decided step, as the circumstances under which I lived were against my plan. The love for my mother was the crowning obstacle. In India I never could spend three nights without my mother. From the houses of my sisters I would come home not caring for rain or storm. Again, I was very particular about taking my meals among strangers: hardly could I make my dinner unless my mother was sitting by me. I was shy, homesick, and unhealthy. One thing frightened me more than others,—it was the food of the American people. They eat animal food, for which I was not prepared, although I had no prejudice against it. My taste is peculiar and sensitive. To eat “rare” beef (which in fact is raw) is out of the question. I could not bear the flavor of duck’s eggs, which some Hindoos use. Indeed, the charge which the Hindoos bring against the native Christians, to the effect that they become Christians for the purpose of eating beef and drinking wine, would not be justly applicable in my case. For owing to my peculiar taste and fastidiousness about food and drink, I can say, that during my two years’ stay in America, I have not eaten as much animal food as the Calcutta deists use in a fortnight. I have always been unable to eat custard, which I am fond of, and plumpudding,if they are mixed with wine,—not for any superstitious hatred against it, but I could not bear its smell, which, however concealed under other ingredients, is sure to encounter the acuteness of my senses. Hence, the good lady whom I boarded with the most of the time in this country, would not use wine in her cooking, even at the risk of spoiling things for an American mouth.

Our friend, the young native convert, said he would come to America, as he was outcasted and had no parents living, and no new sacrifice to make. He wrote a beautiful letter to the Secretary of the American Unitarian Association. He was older than I, and had a considerable knowledge of English literature and life, having been a great deal with the missionaries. In his character there is a mixture of childlike simplicity with matured experience; he is a good-hearted young man. I rejoiced at his earnestness, and hoped some one would join him in the undertaking. He was speaking of his intended visit to the United States to a deistical gentleman who is a great English scholar, the head teacher of a government school, and well informed about European, but less so, as it appeared, about American communities. My friend heard him say that the Americans are a rough people, that most of them are wild, and walk about with bowie-knives, pistols, and other deadly weapons,—that their government tramples upon the rights and lives of millions whom it holds in absolute bondage; and, what is more wicked, that if a man should dare to speak a word against this unjust, inhuman, and wicked institution, he would be insulted by the community, tried and imprisoned, or hung by the law.[34]

At this time I saw a book called Uncle Tom’s Cabin, in the parlor of a rich native merchant in Calcutta. Not knowing the nature and contents of the book, I opened it and read the letter which a negro woman wrote to her mistress before her flight with her child towards Canada,—the Egypt of the slaves. I read of the pursuit of the master,—her crossing the river Ohio, the hospitality of the Quaker, etc. I, of course, took the story as fictitious,—something like the Arabian Nights’ Entertainments, for Icouldnot believe that a man could buy or sell a human being, whatever might be his color, intelligence, or position. My friends told me that this book gives a true sketch of American Slavery. I would not at first believe it, and, calling up all my good feelings towards the American people, came to the following decision. Slavery might be existing in America,—it is a large country, and perhaps among the aborigines, who are wild savages, this system is prevalent. I hoped, also, to hear that the people of the United States are diligently engaged in driving away the men-sellers. Sad logic! I saw the picture of themaster,—a white man, with coat, hat, and watch-guard. Even then I could not persuade myself to believe that this man was a citizen of the United States. I thought it was not necessary to believe that all the white people are good,—these man, woman, and baby-sellers are heartless ruffians, whom the laws of the Christian United States cannot always reach. No! I was mistaken still! They are the Americans,—the descendants of those who had come over from England. Finally, I concluded that these slaveholders have nowomenamong them, as the tender,kind-hearted women would have put the abominable trade to destruction. To my utter surprise, I was told by my friends that the slaveholders have their families, churches, pastors, etc.! God only knows with what a sad shock my heart sank down. I could not but think that in no portion of the globe had the blessed religion of Christ been made into a machine to work for the selfish man, to satisfy his cupidity, as it had been in the United States of America. These men support, by Christianity, that very system of bondage which Christianity came to destroy. The parable of the master releasing his servant from his debt, and of that servant tormenting his fellow-servant for a small sum he had owed him, came into my mind, and I realized the truth uttered by those wise lips of Jesus twenty centuries ago. Mr. Dall told me that there are free States in the Union. This puzzled me again. Union offreeandslaveStates! It must be a queer Union! No! it cannot be so. St. Paul could not very well understand the communion of things of contrary nature: “And what communion hath light with darkness?” etc. (2 Cor. vi. 14–16). The union of fire and water, light and darkness, freedom and slavery is impossible. So I concluded that there are good antislavery men and women in America, as it cannot be that human nature there is totally depraved; but these States must be pro-slavery, since

“He who friendship with knave hath made,Is judged a partner in the trade.”

“He who friendship with knave hath made,

Is judged a partner in the trade.”

Reading in a small book something like—

“The British flag floats over land and sea,And beneath it the slave isfree,”

“The British flag floats over land and sea,

And beneath it the slave isfree,”

my joy knew no bounds. Hardly could I read the lines; the tears dimmed my eyes, and I cried, “Father of thepoor, bless the flag of England! Wave, wave thou mighty flag with the cross on thy bosom, and draw the low, despised children of God to come under thy protection. Thy charms melt the iron that binds the feet of slaves! Wave majestically and on high, that the bond may see thee through the wide country stretching from Maine to Florida, and from Massachusetts to California!”

After a few months had passed, instructions from the American Unitarian Association reached Mr. Dall, authorizing him to send a couple of young men to America, that they might prepare themselves for the ministry under its care. Mr. Dall asked the young man who had written to the Association to get ready, and hearing that he could not sail alone, found another to join him. By and by the first of these began to make excuses, saying, he would be ready within a year or two, etc., while the second stood alone, ready to come provided he could find a companion. Mr. Dall came to me and laid the affair before me. He did not urge me, but he reminded me of my promise and inclination to come to America. I regarded this as an especial call from God, and thus I prayed: “Father, wilt thou indeed have thy child, whofirstproposed going to America, carry out the undertaking? I see the cost of the project: it will deprive me of my mother, sisters, brother, home, and kindred during my lifetime; yet, if Thou wilt have me make these sacrifices for the benefit of thy other children, thy will be done. Enable me, then, to let the dead bury their dead, and to follow the call of Duty!”

I gave my word to God, through Mr. Dall, and began at once to get ready, because the call was so sudden that there were only six or seven days for making the necessary preparations.

I had then been suffering from the effects of a violentsickness, which had confined me to my bed for twenty-one days, a little while before. My body was so weak that I could hardly stand long without holding to something. But this did not frighten me. Within the weak, unhealthy frame, my moral courage began to move as usual, with vigorous throbbings, and I determined to sail on the day fixed by my friends. It required great caution to arrange my things, as it would have been impossible for me to leave home had any of my nearest relatives known my purpose. I wrote some letters for my mother, uncle, brother, and other friends, and hid them under the papers. The contents of these letters differed according to the person I wrote to; but to no one did I tell where, why, and how long I should be gone. I begged in my letters to six different persons that they would take care of my dear mother,—asking one to visit her occasionally, the second to attend to her shopping (as the Hindoo high-caste females do not go to stores or market), a third to read my letters to her, etc.

Three days, I believe, before I left India, my companion and I were walking on the “Strand,” looking at the ships and talking the matter over. He said the Americans are not trustworthy people,—that perhaps the captain would take us to some island and sell us to the savages, etc.

Once more we talked upon the American Slave-Trade. I hear in this country the pro-slavery people call the Abolitionists fanatics, affirming that they misrepresent the system, that they exaggerate the cruelties practised on the slaves by their masters. But the world beyond the United States does not blame the slaveholders merely for the true or supposed cruelties practised by them. I hate the system itself; the very name is a terror to me. As a pea has two pods which enclose the seeds arranged in order in its womb, so slavery has two pods, buying and selling human beings, and theseenclose in them vices of all descriptions. They say the slaveholders feed and clothe their slaves comfortably. This does not justify the system. They do not deserve our thanks for their kindness to the slaves. Slavery will be profitable in proportion to the good treatment themastersextend towards the slaves; so that kindness to the slaves is generally based upon the self-interest of their masters, for which no thanks are due to them. “If ye love your brethren only what thank have ye? do not even the publicans so?” Who would thank a farmer that feeds and fattens his turkeys to make money out of them at the thanksgiving market?

My young friend, with an astonishing forethought, sketched out the dismal days which would inevitably be our portion if we visited Christian countries. He informed me of a fact which the Trinitarians had told him,—that the Unitarians in America are very few in number—a set of fanatic, daring men, who have no truth, no church, no fixed organization, etc. This did not frighten me, for I believed that it is not always the case that truth dwells with the majority. When God destroyed the world by a deluge, the faith of Noah and his small household was entirely different from that of the overwhelming majority, but this made no difference. God approved the truth of this little band, and rejected others. In regard to the outcast life and its attendant sorrows, insults, and helplessness, I looked on them with indifference, believing that there is a Being who knows what I need, and will provide for me accordingly. In days of sorrows I will lean towards Him, and be comforted. My good Father is the richest, highest, wisest, and most merciful Being, so if I trust in him, I shall have no occasion to regret it. I would not let my heart be troubled with these things,—with “what shall I eat? what shall I drink? andwhere withal shall I be clothed?” and with whom shall I live? “The laborer is worthy of his hire.” My own dear friends would not keep any social intercourse with me I know; but God will bring others to me, he will raise kind hearts to bless and sympathize with me. “When one door is closed against, hundreds are open to you,” is the Hindoo saying, so I would follow the call of duty, in hope, courage, and patience; believing that all things work for the good of him who loves God.

My friend fell back, and I stood alone. Mr. Dall seemed to give up all hope of sending young men to America, and asked me if I would act like others. “I have put my hands to the plough and I shall not take them back,” was my reply.

A rich native merchant of Calcutta had told Mr. Dall that he would give the passage-money of two young men if they came to America; but as my young friend fell back, he paid the passage money and other expenses of one.

The day before my departure I had to go to Calcutta to do some shopping with Mr. Dall. My dear mother inquired of me the reason of my going to Calcutta so early in the morning, as I had to go to the school by nine A. M. I simply said I should probably return in time! but I did not get home till nine in the evening. Mr. Dall rather injudiciously detained me in Calcutta, carrying me here and there to see that everything I needed had been bought. I begged him to dismiss me,—told him to attend to, and arrange all that was necessary, and it would be agreeable to me. But he would not. This detention had caused such an alarm in my house that were it not a true purpose in me to go, I could not have left home the next morning. I fully realized what the phrase, “wise like a serpent,” means. As I was passing by the house of a gentleman, my steps drew theattention of a boy, who cried, “Who are you?” “It is I, Prosono,” I answered. “Where have you been, uncle? Your mother has been crying the whole afternoon for you.” With slow steps and anxious heart, I entered into my mother’s house. “Is it Joguth?” “Yes, mother, it is I.” I walked into the dining-room to eat my supper, with a heart full of fear and anxiety. She did not speak a word, but sat by me and bathed the floor with her tears. I looked towards heaven, and my spirit whispered, “Father, this is the beginning of the tears that must flow from those loving eyes of my mother! Kind, loving, affectionate as she is, I must leave her and follow the call of Him who said, “Who is my mother?” I desire to be “about my Father’s business,” so strengthen me to bear this separation. In Thee I recognize a heart more tender than that of earthly mother. Most High, I would not lookaroundme in this juncture, butabove, for all the help I need.” After I had finished my supper, she spoke, “Child, I heard that you had gone to America.” This information was given to her by a friend whom I had told that I should go to America very soon.

I leave the reader to imagine what kind of a night I had. Early in the morning my dear mother, as usual, went to bathe in the Ganges. A young lady had given me her ornament to carry to a goldsmith to have it mended, as I was a friend to the low castes in general. I felt that I ought to bring the ornament from the goldsmith and return it to her, because if I did not, the lady would not know whom to ask for it, and neither would the artist know to whom to return it, as it was given to him in private. I went to that man, but he was not at home. In vain I searched for him in several places where he was supposed to be, and I could not wait any longer, because my mother would expect me to breakfast. I returned home by half past eight, I believe,took my bath as usual, and entered into the dining-room for breakfast. The day before was the fast day of the Brahmun widows. So when my dear mother sat down to help me she looked very tired, after twenty-four hours’ entire abstinence from food and drink. I put the things into my mouth but had no strength to chew them. A deep anxiety, love for my mother, the thought of separation, seemed to fill my heart, and I cast side glances at her face, for I knew that if I lived a hundred years as a Christian, after my return from America, I should not be allowed to sit at meal on this floor and near my dear mother. She noticed the uneasy feelings, and asked, “Joguth, what is that cloud on your face? You look very pale. Are you unwell, child? Tell me what ails you,—I am your mother. Can’t you confide in me?” etc. I knew not what to say at first, and answered, “Mother, a young man has a great many things to think about.” After breakfast I entered into my bedroom and she followed me there. Not knowing what to take and what to leave, I walked from one end of the room to the other, putting my hand upon my clothes, books, pictures, etc. I sat on my bed, and whispered, “No more will my tired, sleepy, or sick body lie on thy bosom; no more from thee my voice will rise, in midnight gloom, to the throne of grace; no more shall I bathe thee with tears, which are counted and known by Him only who knows no sleep.” My mother said it was almost time for me to go to school. So I got up and thought I would not loiter about the room as it would create suspicion in my mother, and perhaps all my cherished plans and precaution would be crushed and frustrated. I must go without scrip—without a second suit of clothes—just as I am. The celestial voice bids me to “let the dead bury their dead;” and so I must not look at these things, my books, clothing, etc., useful as they are. Godwill provide me with all I need; I would “come and see,” with a filial confidence, how good my Father is. Just as I was, with one shirt and one mantle on my body, I went out of the room. My mother came after me, and said, “Child, how long it will take you to learn to wear your own clothes properly,” and began to button my shirt or outer garment. I saddened at the thought that on my return from a Christian country, those fingers that fix my shirt now would not touchme. The last words I heard from her mouth were these, “Joguth, do not eat confectionaries on the way: you are sick, and can’t digest those rich things, child. Come right home after the school, and you will find your supper ready.” “Mother,” thought I, “the supper which you so kindly wish to prepare for me will be, I am afraid, a two-edged sword for you. I do not know where I shall take my supper to-night,” etc.

Thus equipped with moral courage, taking no money, nor clothing, but a trusting heart, I left home and its inmates never to enter therein again, as my own. I commended my kind mother and other dear friends to the care of Him, the good Father of all.

In order to make another effort in relation to that young lady’s ornament, I called at the goldsmith’s house, but with no better success. A dear young Brahmun friend, who is a hearer of Mr. Dall, and to whom I had confided my secrets, informed me that if I would go with him to a public woman’s house, I might possibly find the artist there. As there was no time to lose, and the ornament must be obtained and returned to the owner, I agreed to his suggestion. There, on the Ganges, stood the cottage of sin, and as we knocked at its outer door, a female voice inquired, “Who are you?” “Please let us go in,” said my friend. “No,” she said, “first tell me what you want, and then I’llsee whether I can let you in or not.” “I want to see Ombika for a minute, and that is all.” “Ombika is not here,” she said, and we heard her voice no more. “What is to be done?” I said. “You come with me,” my gallant friend replied; “there is a large opening on the wall which would be a capital approach for us to get into the house.” I hesitated a little, but he said I must do it, under the necessity,—that these cunning girls must be intruded upon that way. Slowly we walked to the opening, which was large enough to admit us both into the house. We found the artist there, and I asked him to return the ornament to me. He began to make excuses, said it was not quite ready, but would take a couple of days to finish it. “Friend,” said I, “I cannot wait a couple of hours for it. I am going to a distant place, so please return it to me just as it is.” He talked and argued about the matter, and wanted to know how long I would be gone. Of course, I could not tell him directly about my plans. He returned the ornament partly done. It would not have been safeat allfor me to have returned it to the owner for two reasons: first, that she lives so near my mother that if I went to her my mother would the first person to see me, and her fears and surmises would be doubly confirmed by my untimely return from the school; secondly, the young lady would feel surprised to find her jewelry half finished, and suspect my proceedings, and inform my mother accordingly. “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” is a saying full of wisdom. I called a boy, whom I knew to be very good and reliable, and said, “Will you take this package, to P——, to-morrow, and tell him that I desire him to give it to T——?” I charged him to see P—— the next day, because if the young lady received her ornament the same day the matter would be worse,—my mother would know it, and my friends would at once start in pursuit of me.The good boy performed his mission satisfactorily I heard. I begged my friend, who helped me to find the goldsmith, to go to my mother two days after I had left, and tell her about the letters I had written and hidden in my desk. While passing by an apothecary’s I remembered that I owed him a little money, and paid him with the small silver pieces I had in my pocket.

Much as I wished to reach Calcutta before the high tide, I could not. I asked the boatmen to land me at Bag-bazzar, at the lower part of the city, whence I proceeded to Mr. Dall in a covered Palkee, or Palanquin, as foreigners call it.

Desiring to get a musical instrument (a flute), that I might practise with it on board the ship, and thereby cheer up the lonely hours, I tried hard, but could not succeed. Mr. Dall said he would bring me one, but, whether for want of money or of time, I do not know, he failed to do it. As I must embark right off before my friends could arrest me, Mr. Dall took me to his room and asked me to wear pants, cap, etc. O, Ihatedto do it, fearing the people, even the low-caste boatmen would laugh at me. I told him that there was no necessity for my wearing this strange costume here in Calcutta, that if I had got to do it, I would do it at sea. He would not hear my reasons. I told him again that the English dress would not help me to become a good Christian,—it would only make me look like the strangest and ugliest creature in the world. Fortunately my logic prevailed, and we got in a carriage with our respective dresses.

The ship Sabine, that brought me to this country, belongs to Mr. Tredick, of Portsmouth, N. H. Not knowing where she was lying at anchor, we came down the river as far as Bishops’ College and had to go back again. Shewas near Baboo ghaut. Leaving me on board the ship, Mr. Dall returned to the city with a view to bring the necessary things for the voyage. After dark, our party of four sat at the table, and another, the cabin boy, waited upon us. They all drank wine and ate smoked fish. The smell of these two things was so disagreeable that I thought that they were fit only for savages. One of the party, a young man with a large round face (the second mate), began to sing comic songs and make music with his feet, striking them on the cabin floor. The words of one of his songs were like these—

“I love her, but she doesn’t love me!She loves another. O dear, who can that be?”

“I love her, but she doesn’t love me!

She loves another. O dear, who can that be?”

By and by the captain, Mr. Hendee, came on board with a few friends, and they all entered into an adjoining cabin. I retired to sleep, but these gentlemen made such a noise the most part of the night that I doubt whether the people within half a mile had any rest at at all. The corks coming out of the wine-bottles with loud reports, the gentlemen knocking on the floor, their songs and imperfect utterance of “Fa-re-well,” all these filled my heart with new and various thoughts. I feared if these men were to be on board all the way, I had better learn Christianity in Calcutta, and not take the voyage to America. The first part of their singing was very good I enjoyed one song especially,—

“I am bound for the land of Canaan,” etc.;

but as they got under the influence of new or old wine, their songs changed into—

“For to-night we will merry, merry be.”

The knocking on the floor grew so violent that I feared they would either hurt their feet or break the boards; and aSanscrith saying came into my mind: “The animal with long, pointed horns and sharp teeth, and a man with wine in his stomach are to be avoided alike.” By midnight I heard some one vomiting, and remembered the saying that the pleasures arising from dissipation and sensuality very soon bring sickness and misery.

Early on the next morning, Wednesday, January 27, 1858, Mr. Dall came on board with all the necessaries for a four months’ voyage, and went down as far as the mouth of the Ganges, returning to Calcutta on Friday by the steam propeller that brought our ship down. Among various kind, useful, and fatherly counsels, he warned me not to learn the profane language that is freely used on board the ship, and wanted to know if I had any farewell words to say to him. “Take care of my dear mother,” was my charge to him, which he has carried out in Christian ways. He also made a little blank-book for me which he called my “Journal,” with the following advice and instructions:—

JOURNAL.

“I left Calcutta on Wednesday, January 27th, 1858, for Boston, United States of America.

Resolves.

“(1.) I will read the Bible as often as I can, and stay my lonely heart on God by faith, prayer, and trust in Jesus Christ.

“(2.) I will daily pray the Lord’s Prayer, and rest all my anxieties on ‘Give usTHIS DAYour daily bread,’ and on ‘Thy will, not mine,BE DONE.’

“(3.) I will try to read the Biblethrough, from Genesis to Revelation, on this voyage, and will make a record, if possible, of the best thoughts as they suggest themselves to me.

“(4.) In the Bible I shall look for my comfort; in the history and devout trust of the patriarchs, prophets, and apostles, from Abraham (Genesis, 12th chapter),—‘The Lord said to Abraham, Get thee out of thy country, from thy kindred and from thy father’s house, and thou shalt be a blessing,’—through the Psalms of David, not forgetting the 25th and 26th. ‘The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want,’ and ‘They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed (i. e. of faith, hope, and holy purposes), shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves (fruits of his toil) with him.’ God grant it may be so with you, Philip, my son, my firstborn in India. God help you! Do you struggle, with God’s help, to be an honor and praise to your family, your city, your country, and your friends, both in India and America, more and more as long as you live, and when called to depart out of this world, may it be to dwell with pure-minded spirits,—with the holy angels, and with the just made perfect in heaven. Read theOldTestament, but make theNewyour refuge and your rest. Trust in Jesus’s call, ‘Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest;’ ‘Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest unto your souls.’ Matt. x. 29. And again, I will have perfect faith in Jesus’s saying (as in Matt. x. 29), ‘Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or lands for my sake and the Gospel’s, but he shall receive a hundred fold now in this present time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and lands, with persecution, and in the world to come eternal life. But many that are first shall be last and the last first.’

“Often say,—

“‘Jesus, I my cross have taken,All to leave and follow thee;Naked, poor, despised, forsaken,Thou from hence, my all shalt be.“‘Perish every fond ambition—All I’ve gained, hoped, or known,Yet how rich is my condition,God and heaven are still my own!’

“‘Jesus, I my cross have taken,All to leave and follow thee;Naked, poor, despised, forsaken,Thou from hence, my all shalt be.

“‘Jesus, I my cross have taken,

All to leave and follow thee;

Naked, poor, despised, forsaken,

Thou from hence, my all shalt be.

“‘Perish every fond ambition—All I’ve gained, hoped, or known,Yet how rich is my condition,God and heaven are still my own!’

“‘Perish every fond ambition—

All I’ve gained, hoped, or known,

Yet how rich is my condition,

God and heaven are still my own!’

“A True Christian.

“Let me strive to be a student and educator; a worthy representative of my country; an ambassador from Asia to America; a mediator between the East and the West; the bearer of pure and precious hopes between two opposite sides of the world; a man of faith and love; a student of human life; a seeker of knowledge in distant lands; a follower in the steps of prophets and apostles, of Abraham and St. Paul; a practical believer in human brotherhood; a pilgrim on the face of the world, seeking pearls of knowledge; a servant, minister, and angel of God; a man whose name is written in heaven; a man appointed by God to bring together the ends of the earth; a leader and a pioneer to begin the great work of union between the sincere and devout spirits of America and Bengal.

“Things to be done if possible while at Sea.

“(1.) Get the list of the Books of the Bible by heart so as to facilitate reference to them.

“(2.) Make all the progress I can in my Greek Grammar, that I may thus come into nearer contact with Jesus’s words of everlasting life.

“(3.) Translate into Bengalee (prose or verse) those great thoughts of the Bible which move me most deeply. Above all, put them into Bengalee hymns, and so prepare in due time an original Bengal Hymn-Book.

“Direction of Letters.

“To the care of the Rev. C. H. A. Dall, Calcutta, India, Overland Mail, via Southampton.

“When you reach Boston, you will find letters from Calcutta waiting you at the office of Dr. Miles, which is No. 21 Bromfield Street, Boston.

“Ask any Boston friend to forward your letters, enclosed in his, and he will do it. Mrs. Dall will do it once a month, if you wish.

“I will remember daily,

“(1.) Tospeak outclearly every word I wish to say, and look straight in the face of the person I speak to.

“(2.) To say promptly, ‘Yes, sir,’ ‘No, sir,’ to every question.

“(3.) To walk my full number (200, 300, 400,) of rounds on deck; exercise essential.

“(4.) When any one speaks to me my first duty is tolook at himwith respectful attention.

“(5.) To practise writing my name after a good copy.”

In regard to carrying out the above rules successfully, the reader will understand it perfectly, when I say that as to thefirst, the ship rode on the blue waves of the Bay of Bengal, I felt sea-sick, and got rid of it only on the day when I arrived in Boston. Nearlyfour months, this great monarch, the most disagreeable of all diseases, had an undisputed sway over me. Occasionally, in very mild weather, I could walk a little and move about on the deck. My constitution is very peculiar,—I shall never get used to the sea. It seems to me that if I were forced to spend my life on the sea, it would be under constant sea-sickness. A trifling motion makes me sea-sick. I have frequently been made sick in riding in stages. On my way from Fitchburg to Templeton,by stage, I felt so miserable, that a good lady, Mrs. J——, kindly invited me to come to and spend the night at her house.

It is customary in this country to offer the “rocking-chair” to a guest. I always refuse it with thanks, for fear of its making me sea-sick. On board the ship I could sit at the table at regular hours most of the time. Knowing that nothing butlandwould cure this ugly feeling, I hoped that some provision, or water would be used up, and thus compel the captain to touch at some place for fresh supplies. But he had enough of everything.

While we were in the river our table was furnished with fresh vegetables and fish, but as we launched forth into the ocean, we had almost everything salted. Never accustomed to eat meat I found it difficult to get along, as most of the edibles on board consisted of salt meat of various kinds. Two days in the week we used to have pea-soup and rice and curry. To be true and just to the Sabine, I should say she had a large supply of provisions of various kinds, which an American would regard as “realtreats.” But I could not relish most of them, being a stranger to their name and nature. Mr. Dall had a large bunch of bananas, some tamarinds, etc., for me, which became very serviceable to me for a fortnight. As the Hindoos are taught to share eatable things with their friends, I gave some fine bananas to the mates, the boy, etc. After a week I offered them some again; but one partook of them, and the other refused them with thanks.

Now once, at midnight, a large, dirty hand was thrust into my state-room and pulled some bananas from the branch; I did not know who that hand belonged to. The same hand helped itself with my fruits again the next day, and I could not help smiling. When I had offered them to the brethren,they felt delicate and declined to accept them, and at midnight came to help themselves. I took the bunch out and distributed its contents among the sailors.

The captain, Hendee, wasverykind to me. As I was theonlypassenger, and had none to speak to (as the sailors are not allowed to speak to any while on duty), I found Captain Hendee very agreeable. Mr. Dall could not have put me into the care of a better man than Mr. Hendee. He was a friend, teacher, guard, and pastor to me. Every day he would take notice of what I had done, how much I had read, what exercise I had taken, etc. Occasionally he would explain some difficult passages in the New Testament and other books. When less sea-sick, in mild weather, I used to read from the following books: Waverley Novels, the Life of Napoleon, Pope’s Poetical Works, The Tower of London, Paul and Virginia (in Bengalee), Dr. Kane’s Arctic Explorations, the Bible, and Channing, etc. Besides, Captain H. had American papers, such as Gleason’s Pictorial, the Olive Branch, and the New York Ledger. This last paper did not give a good idea of American people. Its stories I found to be fictitious love affairs, sentimental. I felt surprised to think that such stories were put into the hands of the boys and girls,—these will certainly corrupt them, and create romantic, short-lived affections in their hearts. The Hindoo parents do not read nor tell the stories of love affairs to their children, because the influence of such things is very bad upon the young. They fill their hearts with strange passions, which do not belong to them. Hence, in this country I hear so much of elopement, coquetry, strange unions between a boy of eighteen or twenty, and a woman of fifty!

Mr. Hendee undertook to teach me American etiquette, the discipline at the table, in the parlor, etc., but he is sucha jolly man that whatever he taught I took for fun. He would ask me every morning, and a great many times during the day, “Philip, how do you feel?” My answers varied according to the true state of my feelings. While sick, I said so, and while cheerful, I saidso. But this would not satisfy him. So he taught me to answer him as follows: “Philip!” “Sir.” “How do you feel?” “All serene.” Then he would respond, “Salubrious.” He told me, in fun, no doubt, that in Divinity Schools they make such long prayers, that the students find their limbs stiff, having had to kneel down so long. I hoped my friends would not put me in a school like those, that would cause me to go home lame after prayers.

We had a remarkably pleasant voyage. Very few storms were experienced on our way. One day, after a severe squall, Captain Hendee sat on the gangway, tired yet cheerful, and, as usual, cried, “Philip, how do you feel?” He asked me what I thought of the late squall, and hearing me speak indifferently of it, said, “Philip, you are just like a baby that knows not what is going on before him,” etc. And then he began to sing, “From all that dwell below the skies,” etc. He would not hear any one swear in the cabin, and often would say, “Mr. C., (the second mate,) don’t, don’t.”

Every soul on board was kind to me, and I trust I was not less to them. “Antoon,” a Spanish sailor, hearing that I did not eat salt meat, gave me a sharp exhortation. “You are no good Christian! Me, the captain, Mr. B., etc., are good Christians. We eat beef, ham, pork, plenty,—we fat,” putting his hand on his stomach.

After a voyage of four months, we reached Boston on the midnight of 24th of May, 1858. Early in the morning, I got up from my bed and waited for some friend, who, as Mr.Dall had told me, would come to take me into the town; but none came, not knowing, as yet, of my arrival. One by one the sailors left the ship, and I was on board with “Antoon.” The whole day passed, yet no Unitarian friend made his appearance to welcome me to the distant land. Not knowing what to eat, hungry and low, I sat on the gangway to gaze upon the harbor. I was delighted to see “Dorchester Heights,” which I took for a mountain, as I had not seen any high ground before. Looking at the buildings around the harbor, I believed they were churches, on account of the chimneys which our Calcutta houses do not have. In order to spend the time and forget hunger, I began to draw a sketch of the Navy Yard, East Boston Ferries, etc. As the demands of nature must be met, I took a piece of hard, square cracker and a little brown sugar, and made a supper of them. In the evening I left the ship and ventured to go on shore in East Boston, although “Antoon” feared I should get lost. Going a little way I came to a place where a young couple were sitting near the water. The girl went down to see whether the water tasted salt or fresh. I knew then that, “even in heaven there are fools.” Anybody who has even read of or seen the sea and its ways, knows, I am sure, that the water therein is salt.

Next morning Mr. Hendee came on board and inquired if I were crying. I told him that my heart was crying indeed. He sent his boy to escort me to the office of the American Unitarian Association. As I passed through the streets I was struck with the neatness of all around me, except the dirty tobacco-chewers and cigar-smokers. The sidewalks were novel to me. Although there are thousands of foreign or Western women in Calcutta, I never was so near to them as to have any idea of their dress. The dress of the females struck me, and I guessed there must be some frameworkwithin, as it could not be that a woman would have such large limbs. I feared to walk too close to a woman, lest by coming in contact I should break her framework. But they walked so fast by me, that I felt thankful that their frameworks did not tear my coat.

By eleven o’clock the boy brought me to the office where a young man, Mr. Fox, spoke to me kindly, and said if I waited a couple of hours I might meet Dr. Miles, the Secretary of the Unitarian Association. There came in an elderly-looking gentleman, who, being informed of my mission, conducted me to the church in Bedford Street, in which the meeting of the Association was in session. I stood in a small room leading into the church, and the gentleman took the letter of “greeting and introduction” from me, and went in and put it in the hand of the Rev. Dr. Lothrop, the President. I heard my friends say that only a half an hour before my appearance, the Secretary had told the congregation that he was expecting me every day. I was led to the platform, the President received me by his right hand in the name of the American Unitarian Association, and gave me a chance to speak a few words, which I did. My appearance was so sudden, that I did not know what to say until I opened my mouth; but he who assured his disciples that they would receive words from above, favored me with the promised gift. The meeting looked so solemn to me, that the impression it made in my mind shall never be forgotten. The Secretary of the American Unitarian Association took me to his house, where I stayed nearly a week. I had dreamed while on the sea that the secretary was a man of light complexion, without a beard, moustache, or whiskers, that he had a daughter seventeen years old, and I would stay at his house. These proved to be really true in every respect. In the evening of the same day I attended theUnitarian Festival in the Music Hall, where again I had to speak a few words to the brethren.

I had read about Christian fathers, mothers, and families, while in India, but now at Dr. Miles’s I realized all. The gathering of each member of the family at the same table, the exchange of kind greetings between the sexes, their songs and innocent frolics, made me think that these, when perfected and guarded with unfeigned simplicity, and done absolutely for the glory of God and the good of man, are what might be angelic.

After staying a week at Dr. Miles’s, I went to board with Mrs. M——, only a few doors below his house. This excellent family did not treat me as a boarder, but adopted me as one of its members. Good Mrs. M—— says she lost her son of my age, who died at sea; so she regards me as her son. Not merely in words did they say so. In their untiring attention to my wants, in their perpetual anxiety about my welfare, they have shown a mother’s and sister’s hearts. They have done unto me what I could not expect from them. They resorted to every available means to make me comfortable. I owe my health and freedom from sickness mainly to their care. I did not know well the flexibility of the weather here, so could not dress accordingly. I did not learn to dress properly, nor even know the names of many pieces of clothing until now. It would take a long time if I entered into details of their kindness. So I will pass on to notice my other homes and friends in America. The Executive Committee of the Association desired me to spend the summer months in studying with a country clergyman. Accordingly, on the 6th of July, Dr. Miles took me to Rev. James Thurston’s, in Lunenburg, Mass. Of course I felt very much confused at the frequent removals from place to place, as such a custom is unknown to the Hindoos. This is a charmingplace in regard to scenery, and, above all, I liked it for its many hills, which I am fond of. The kindness of the family soon cured my home-sickness for Boston, and I entered into my studies with a cheerful heart. There was one source of pleasure here which I did not have in either of my two Boston homes: that is children, of whom our Blessed Teacher said, “Of such is the kingdom of heaven.” The inhabitants of this quiet place, both my Unitarian brethren, as well as other denominations, were very kind to me. The Orthodox and the Methodist clergymen, too, manifested much interest in my mission.

The Methodist brother has more than once cordially invited me to speak to his people. The first time I spoke in the Methodist church I had rather a novel experience. It was while I was speaking that a brother close by shouted “Amen!” I thought it was a hint for me to stop, as in Unitarian churches, “Amen” is only uttered by the ministers at the close. As it was a wrong place to stop I made a long pause, thinking that if they really wished me to stop the pastor would rise and offer benediction; but nothing of this kind happened. I proceeded, and to my utter confusion, “Amen! Amen!” from different parts of the church. Immediately I stopped and was going to ask pardon, while “go on, brother, go on,” etc., revived my sinking spirits. At the close the good brethren explained to me what they meant by “Amen.”

On the second of October I removed to Boston, to Mrs. M——’s, in Allen Street, and there stayed until the twentieth of January. Then my course was toward Medfield, Mass., a place not so charming as Lunenburg, but it has more people in it. My host and teacher here was Rev. S. W. Bush, who is said to be, and I am sure is, an excellent scholar and good Christian. As my stay with him has been longer thanwith others in this country, I had a good chance to notice his fatherly love for me, and his sanguine interest in the cause of Truth. Every morning and evening, while at home, his prayer has unceasingly risen to the Throne of Mercy for my welfare, and for the success of the Gospel in all countries. His wife, as far as I can judge, is a remarkable woman, social, refined, wise, literary, and good. Both the husband and the wife have contributed much towards my mental and spiritual culture. The people in this town of Medfield were kind to me, a stranger, and nothing has happened during my sojourn among them to pain my feelings. Besides Mr. Bush and wife, there were a good old lady and daughter,—the owner of the house we lived in, who were not in the least slow to confer their blessings and helps whenever I needed them. The other clergymen of the place, one a Baptist and the other Orthodox, were not wanting in the spirit of love in their acquaintance with me. Our good brother, Rev. Mr. Sewell, deserves my regards and notice too. He is a Unitarian clergyman, preaching to the Society in Sharon. Besides his ministerial labors he does a great deal to promote the welfare of his fellows, and is connected with several beneficent institutions. He is an experienced farmer, a judicious manager of the schools, and a good, kind gentleman. I have had the pleasure of spending several happy hours with this Christian man.

In order to spend the “second winter,” which is trying to those from warm climates, in Boston, as well as to receive instruction from the clergymen there, I removed to Boston, where I stayed till the day appointed for my start for India, Monday, the 11th of June, 1860. I cannot drop my pen here without recognizing the kindness of my other dear friends to whose care my Father has committed me. I hope the reader will not regard me impertinent if I noticesome of my friends by their names. I know there are others in Boston and in other places in the Union, whose hearts beat in Christian sympathy for me, who have shown their interest in variousmaterialways. As they do not tell me their names, I cannot enjoy the happiness of thanking them personally. My Father who knoweth all and “seeth in secret shall reward” them openly. Being absent from my dear mother, I first recognized a motherly affection in the heart of Thomas Gaffield, Esq., of Boston. I cannot call his love and interest in me by any other name, as they were not common nor temporary. During my stay in this country, whether in Boston or in other places, he has exhibited an unabated interest in me, has attended to all my personal affairs, and I sincerely hope, while I am gone to work for God, his heart will find its way to India. His Christian wife and sisters have been equally kind and attentive. Mrs. G——, of Concord, Mass., will be remembered ever for one among many other things. After my arrival in this country, Dr. Miles removed me from place to place as a raw chess-player does his Knight. My other friends did not have the opportunity of knowing whether I had all the clothing that I needed. The garments I had already were either too loose or too tight. Uncomfortably as I felt, I knew not to whom to go for relief. But there is one who is not unmindful of even the trivial wants of his children. He whispered to his noble daughter in Concord, and she, with other kind young ladies, made me comfortable clothing. Her interest for me did not drop down with her needle and thimble, but is fresh, and will be, I trust, as long as I stand a worthy recipient. The Christian ladies of Rev. Mr. Muzzey’s Society in Newburyport, deserve my hearty thanks for their sympathy shown me in different ways. Besides the contributionsgiven for my benefit, these daughters of God worked fancy articles and held a fair, the proceeds of which were given for my personal comfort.

That noble woman, Mrs. L. M. Child, favored me with her acquaintance lately, and I might name many other kind friends. I deem it a privilege and honor to have become known to such persons. Reluctantly I pass by my excellent friends and earnest Christian helpers, such as Rev. Messrs. Hale, Bartol, Winckley, King, Ellis, Clarke, etc. The last friends that my Father brought to me are Mr. and Mrs. Spring, of Eagleswood, N. J. Since I became acquainted with them I believe that this gentleman is really “Spring.” His heart knows no winter. Such is his pleasant appearance and such are his Christian graces, that in a few moments I felt myself drawn as closely to him as if I had known him always, and as if his heart was my “OLD HOME.”

The little children even have been kind to me and brought me their little presents. The first gift which I received in America, a handsome Bible, was from a little thing, Miss Lucy Sands, whom I called in the language of Bishop Heber, “Golden Sands.” A little girl in Newburyport sent me twice some copper and silver pieces, making fifty cents in all. She is the daughter of an Orthodox divine. A little child like this, so full of love and kindness in her heart, does not look like a “totally depraved” creature, although her father’s theology would call her such.

If my paper has no room for other kind friends, or my pen has forgotten to chronicle their names, yet I know my heart has room for them all and will never forget them. Their names have been recorded in the Book of God, who will reward them abundantly for their kindness toward one who is a stranger, and an outcast for the sake of theTruth. The benediction of our Master will certainly be pronounced upon them saying: “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world,” for “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

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