The Little Guiggols
III
NUMBER SEVEN
(Based on an old legend)
A Room in the East. Some time ago. A Man and a Woman having supper.She.You eat heartily, my pomegranate.He.Yes, I am hungry. And I am happy, for is it not our bridal feast?She.That reminds me. There is something I want to tell you. As a matter of fact I meant to tell you before, but I have been so busy buying clothes.He.Oh, what is that? Pass the salt.She(passing). The fact is, you are not my first husband; at least, not exactly.He.How do you mean?She.As a matter of fact you are the—the first but five.He(working it out). I see. I take it the others are away from home.She(gently). No. They died. Have some more salad?He.Thank you. I’m sorry. At least, you know what I mean.She.The odd thing was that they all died at the same time—in a way.He.Oh! Was there an epidemic, or what?She.Oh, no. What I mean is they each died the night we were married.He.Thatiscurious. Why did they die?She.Nobody knows. They just died. It’s given me a great deal of bother.He.But I suppose you’ve been able to use the same trousseau in each case.She.But nay; for I have invariably embroidered every garment in gold and silver with the name and image of my love.He.By Jove, what a bore! I say, have you embroidered any garments withmyname and image? I’d like to see them.She(sadly). Nay, my beloved. This time I have embroidered nothing. It seems such a waste.He.Yes, yes, of course. All the same——You know, my olive branch, I can’t help wishing you’d told me about this before we were wed.She.I am sorry, my love. I can’t think how itslipped my memory. But there was so much shopping to be done, and what with one thing and another——Dohave some more salad.He.Thanks; its delicious. By the way, who made it?She.With her own fair hands your lily contrived it.He.Oh! Perhaps, after all, I won’t have any more. I don’t feel so hungry as I thought I did.She.The last but two used to love my salads. All his married life——He(musing). By the way, when you say “night,” what time of night do you mean? When did the last but two, for instance——She.I should have said “evening” really; it was careless of me. Usually about nine——He(looking at hour-glass). Curious—I don’t feel nearly so well. I wonder if——[The curtains falls to denote the passage of a few months. When it rises two people are discovered at supper—a Woman (the same one) and a Man (a different one).She.You eat heartily, my pomegranate.He.Who would not eat heartily on the day of his espousal to such a maid asthee.She.That reminds me. I knew there was something I wanted to tell you, but the wedding put it quite out of my head.He.Truly, what shouldst thou think of at thy espousal but thy spouse?She.Do you minding saying “you”? None of the others have said “thou.”He.As you will, beloved. But of what “others” speakest thou?She.Well, that’s really the point. The fact is, my tangerine, you are not my first spouse—at least, not quite.He.How so? What delicious salad!She.Have some more. No, you are—let me see—one, two, three, four—yes, you are the first but six. It’s rather a curious story; I wonder if it will bore you?He.What tale from thy sweet lips could tedious be?She.I wish you’d get out of that “thy” habit; it’s so irritating. Well, the fact is that all your predecessors died on the evening of our wedding—I mean weddings—and nobody quite knows why.He.Truly a strange tale. May I have justonemore go at the salad?She.Of course. I’m so glad you like it. Curiously enough, the one before you was very fond of it too; in fact I’ve often wondered——Well, there it is. Now I do hope that nothing is going to happen to you, my dear, because I should so hate to think that you had been put to any inconvenienceon my account. Besides, it upsets the servants.He.Have no fear, beloved. For I too have a secret. Iknowthy—your—tragic history; a witch has revealed it unto me.She.Youknow? Well, I do think you might have told me. I meant it to be a surprise.He.Further, she has given me a magic charm to protect us both.She.I say, what’s that mess in the corner? There—on the plate.He.That is the heart and liver of a fish, my apple.She.I hope you haven’t brought a cat into the house; father can’t bear them.He.Nay, my love, that is the charm.She.It looks a very large one. What fish is it?He.It is the heart and liver of a sturgeon.She.I suppose it couldn’t have been done with an anchovy?He.Nay, nay. For the witch enjoined me; first I must burn it——She.Yes, I think you’d better.He.See? (Burns.) The ashes thereof will drive away the evil spirit that molests you.She(recoiling). And I don’t wonder.[The Curtain falls, and rises again the next morning. The room is full of smoke.He(shaving). Who is that man digging in the garden?She.Oh, that’s father. He’s digging a grave for you. It’s become a sort of habit with him.He.Wilt thou not tell him it is not required?She(through the window). Father, we shan’t want it this time. Sorry.He.I thank thee.She(irritable). Oh, do stop saying “thee.” And will you please take these horrible ashes and throw them awayat once? Really, I can hardly breathe.He.Nay, my love. They are our charm against danger. Art not thou—aren’t you, I mean—grateful?She.Yes, of course. But they’ve done the trick by now. We can’t spend our whole married life in this atmosphere.He.But indeed we must. The witch enjoined me that, unless they were preserved, I should perish, even as those before me.She.Well, I’m extremely sorry, but I really can’t stand this. (Through the window.) Father, you might bury this, will you? (throws down the ashes). Thank you. Oh, and don’t fill up the hole yet. We may want it after all.CURTAIN
A Room in the East. Some time ago. A Man and a Woman having supper.
She.You eat heartily, my pomegranate.
He.Yes, I am hungry. And I am happy, for is it not our bridal feast?
She.That reminds me. There is something I want to tell you. As a matter of fact I meant to tell you before, but I have been so busy buying clothes.
He.Oh, what is that? Pass the salt.
She(passing). The fact is, you are not my first husband; at least, not exactly.
He.How do you mean?
She.As a matter of fact you are the—the first but five.
He(working it out). I see. I take it the others are away from home.
She(gently). No. They died. Have some more salad?
He.Thank you. I’m sorry. At least, you know what I mean.
She.The odd thing was that they all died at the same time—in a way.
He.Oh! Was there an epidemic, or what?
She.Oh, no. What I mean is they each died the night we were married.
He.Thatiscurious. Why did they die?
She.Nobody knows. They just died. It’s given me a great deal of bother.
He.But I suppose you’ve been able to use the same trousseau in each case.
She.But nay; for I have invariably embroidered every garment in gold and silver with the name and image of my love.
He.By Jove, what a bore! I say, have you embroidered any garments withmyname and image? I’d like to see them.
She(sadly). Nay, my beloved. This time I have embroidered nothing. It seems such a waste.
He.Yes, yes, of course. All the same——You know, my olive branch, I can’t help wishing you’d told me about this before we were wed.
She.I am sorry, my love. I can’t think how itslipped my memory. But there was so much shopping to be done, and what with one thing and another——Dohave some more salad.
He.Thanks; its delicious. By the way, who made it?
She.With her own fair hands your lily contrived it.
He.Oh! Perhaps, after all, I won’t have any more. I don’t feel so hungry as I thought I did.
She.The last but two used to love my salads. All his married life——
He(musing). By the way, when you say “night,” what time of night do you mean? When did the last but two, for instance——
She.I should have said “evening” really; it was careless of me. Usually about nine——
He(looking at hour-glass). Curious—I don’t feel nearly so well. I wonder if——
[The curtains falls to denote the passage of a few months. When it rises two people are discovered at supper—a Woman (the same one) and a Man (a different one).
[The curtains falls to denote the passage of a few months. When it rises two people are discovered at supper—a Woman (the same one) and a Man (a different one).
She.You eat heartily, my pomegranate.
He.Who would not eat heartily on the day of his espousal to such a maid asthee.
She.That reminds me. I knew there was something I wanted to tell you, but the wedding put it quite out of my head.
He.Truly, what shouldst thou think of at thy espousal but thy spouse?
She.Do you minding saying “you”? None of the others have said “thou.”
He.As you will, beloved. But of what “others” speakest thou?
She.Well, that’s really the point. The fact is, my tangerine, you are not my first spouse—at least, not quite.
He.How so? What delicious salad!
She.Have some more. No, you are—let me see—one, two, three, four—yes, you are the first but six. It’s rather a curious story; I wonder if it will bore you?
He.What tale from thy sweet lips could tedious be?
She.I wish you’d get out of that “thy” habit; it’s so irritating. Well, the fact is that all your predecessors died on the evening of our wedding—I mean weddings—and nobody quite knows why.
He.Truly a strange tale. May I have justonemore go at the salad?
She.Of course. I’m so glad you like it. Curiously enough, the one before you was very fond of it too; in fact I’ve often wondered——Well, there it is. Now I do hope that nothing is going to happen to you, my dear, because I should so hate to think that you had been put to any inconvenienceon my account. Besides, it upsets the servants.
He.Have no fear, beloved. For I too have a secret. Iknowthy—your—tragic history; a witch has revealed it unto me.
She.Youknow? Well, I do think you might have told me. I meant it to be a surprise.
He.Further, she has given me a magic charm to protect us both.
She.I say, what’s that mess in the corner? There—on the plate.
He.That is the heart and liver of a fish, my apple.
She.I hope you haven’t brought a cat into the house; father can’t bear them.
He.Nay, my love, that is the charm.
She.It looks a very large one. What fish is it?
He.It is the heart and liver of a sturgeon.
She.I suppose it couldn’t have been done with an anchovy?
He.Nay, nay. For the witch enjoined me; first I must burn it——
She.Yes, I think you’d better.
He.See? (Burns.) The ashes thereof will drive away the evil spirit that molests you.
She(recoiling). And I don’t wonder.
[The Curtain falls, and rises again the next morning. The room is full of smoke.
[The Curtain falls, and rises again the next morning. The room is full of smoke.
He(shaving). Who is that man digging in the garden?
She.Oh, that’s father. He’s digging a grave for you. It’s become a sort of habit with him.
He.Wilt thou not tell him it is not required?
She(through the window). Father, we shan’t want it this time. Sorry.
He.I thank thee.
She(irritable). Oh, do stop saying “thee.” And will you please take these horrible ashes and throw them awayat once? Really, I can hardly breathe.
He.Nay, my love. They are our charm against danger. Art not thou—aren’t you, I mean—grateful?
She.Yes, of course. But they’ve done the trick by now. We can’t spend our whole married life in this atmosphere.
He.But indeed we must. The witch enjoined me that, unless they were preserved, I should perish, even as those before me.
She.Well, I’m extremely sorry, but I really can’t stand this. (Through the window.) Father, you might bury this, will you? (throws down the ashes). Thank you. Oh, and don’t fill up the hole yet. We may want it after all.
CURTAIN
Transcriber’s Notes:Variations in spelling and hyphenation are retained.Perceived typographical errors have been changed.
Transcriber’s Notes:
Variations in spelling and hyphenation are retained.
Perceived typographical errors have been changed.