Our labor of sketching the lives of thethreedistinguished women who were permitted to share the happiness and lighten the cares of one of the most worthy and venerated of missionaries, now brings us on delicate ground. The last wife of Dr. Judson, happily for her numerous friends and for his and her children, survives him. Long may she be spared to train those children in the ways of lofty piety, to gladden the wide circle of friends and relatives now anxiously expecting her return to her native land, and to gratify the admirers of her genius with the graceful and eloquent effusions of her pen. Graceful and eloquent they have always been, but of late—touched bya coal from that altar on which she has laid her best sacrifice,herself—they have gained a higher and purer flow, awakened by a holier inspiration. The world admired the brilliancy of "Fanny Forrester." Christianslovethe exalted tenderness, the sanctified enthusiasm of Emily C. Judson.
Much as it would gratify us, and her friends to give an extended account of her life, delicacy forbids us to do more than merely to sketch those features in it, which are already the property of much of the reading public. Our outline will necessarily be meagre, but we will enrich it by several of her poems written in India, hitherto scarce published except in perishable newspapers and periodicals. We might indeed make it more interesting by incidents and anecdotes, drawn from those of her early associates who love to dwell on the rich promise of her childhood and youth; but by doing so, we should incur the risk of intruding on the sacredness of the family circle; and we forbear.
She was born in Eaton, a town near the centre of the state of New York. In her childhood, she exhibited an exuberance of imagination that enabled her to delight her young associates with tales, which, according to one of them, she would sit up in bed in the morning to write, and then read aloud to them. She would, even then, write verses also, but in this gift she was perhaps inferior to a sister, who died in early life,and whose numerous poems were unfortunately, and to the grief of her family, accidentally lost. At an early period she embraced religion and was baptized by the Rev. Mr. Dean, a missionary to China, then in this country. Her interest was awakened in the heathen, even at that time, and she indulged in many ardent longings to go as a missionary to them. The late Dr. Kendrick judiciously advised her to pursue the path of duty at home, and quietly wait the leadings and openings of Providence. This advice she followed, and as a means of improving the straitened circumstances of her family, she left home and engaged as a teacher in a seminary in Utica.
Desirous to increase still farther her mother's limited resources, she determined to employ her pen; and published some short religious tales, which, however, brought her little fame, and small pecuniary emolument. But in 1844, by a skilful and happy letter to the conductor of theNew York Mirror, she so attracted the attention of the fastidious and brilliant editor of that magazine, that he engaged her as a constant contributor. This arrangement, though of great pecuniary advantage, was, in a religious view, a snare to her. As a writer of light, graceful stories of a purely worldly character, she had in this country, few rivals, and her name, attached to a tale or a poem, became a passport to popular favor. In a letter to her agedpastor, written a year after her marriage, she laments her extreme worldliness at that period, which she says, even led her to be ashamed of her former desire to be a missionary. Yet her writings are marked by purity, and generally inculcated nothing unfriendly either to virtue or religion. But it was the religion of sentiment, and the virtue of the natural heart; of which it must be confessed we find far more in fictitious tales, than in real life. When we consider the nobleness of the motive that led her to seek a popular path to favor and emolument—to increase the comforts of her excellent and honored mother—our censure, were we disposed to indulge any, is disarmed and almost changed to admiration.
During Dr. Judson's visit to America, in 1845, while riding in a public conveyance with Mr. G., who was escorting him to his home in Philadelphia, a story written by "Fanny Forrester," fell into the hands of Dr. J. He read it with satisfaction, remarking that he should like to know its author. "You will soon have that pleasure," said Mr. G., "for she is now visiting at my house." An acquaintance then commenced between them, which, notwithstanding the disparity in their years, soon ripened into a warm attachment, and after a severe struggle, she broke, as she says, the innumerable ties that bound her to the fascinating worldly life she had adopted, andconsented to become, what in her early religious zeal she had so longed to be—a missionary.
And now the spell of worldliness was indeed broken. With mingled shame and penitence she reviewed her spiritual declensions, and with an humbled, self-distrusting spirit renewed her neglected covenant with the God and guide of her youth. In Dr. Judson, to whom she was married on the 2d of June, 1846, she found a wise and faithful friend and counsellor, as well as a devoted husband. In his tried and experienced piety, she gained the support and encouragement she needed in her Christian life. Conscious that she had given to the world's service too many of her noble gifts, she commenced a work of an exclusively religious character and tendency, the biography of her predecessor, the second Mrs. Judson. In one year it was completed, and in speaking of it in a letter from India, whither she had accompanied Dr. J. immediately after their marriage, she playfully remarked that her husband was pleased with it, and she cared little whether any one else liked it or not.
On her passage to India, Mrs. Judson passed in sight of that island which must ever attract the gaze of men of every clime and nation,—the rocky prison and tomb of the conqueror of nations, Napoleon Bonaparte. But to her the island had more tender associations; awakened more touching recollections. Itwas as the grave of Sarah Judson, that her successor gazed long and tearfully on the Isle of St. Helena; and she thus embodied her feelings in song.
LINES WRITTEN OFF ST. HELENA.
Blow softly, gales! a tender sighIs flung upon your wing;Lose not the treasure as ye fly,Bear it where love and beauty lie,Silent and withering.Flow gently, waves! a tear is laidUpon your heaving breast;Leave it within yon dark rock's shadeOr weave it in an iris braid,To crown the Christian's restBloom, ocean isle, lone ocean isle!Thou keep'st a jewel rare;Let rugged rock, and dark defile,Above the slumbering stranger smileAnd deck her couch with care.Weep, ye bereaved! a dearer head,Ne'er left the pillowing breast;The good, the pure, the lovely fled,When mingling with the shadowy dead,She meekly went to rest.Mourn, Burmah, mourn! a bow which spannedThy cloud has passed away;A flower has withered on thy sand,A pitying spirit left thy strand,A saint has ceased to pray.Angels rejoice, another stringHas caught the strains above.Rejoice, rejoice! a new-fledged wingAround the Throne is hovering,In sweet, glad, wondering love.Blow, blow, ye gales! wild billows roll!Unfurl the canvas wide!O! where she labored lies our goal:Weak, timid, frail, yet would my soulFain be to hers allied.
Blow softly, gales! a tender sighIs flung upon your wing;Lose not the treasure as ye fly,Bear it where love and beauty lie,Silent and withering.
Flow gently, waves! a tear is laidUpon your heaving breast;Leave it within yon dark rock's shadeOr weave it in an iris braid,To crown the Christian's rest
Bloom, ocean isle, lone ocean isle!Thou keep'st a jewel rare;Let rugged rock, and dark defile,Above the slumbering stranger smileAnd deck her couch with care.
Weep, ye bereaved! a dearer head,Ne'er left the pillowing breast;The good, the pure, the lovely fled,When mingling with the shadowy dead,She meekly went to rest.
Mourn, Burmah, mourn! a bow which spannedThy cloud has passed away;A flower has withered on thy sand,A pitying spirit left thy strand,A saint has ceased to pray.
Angels rejoice, another stringHas caught the strains above.Rejoice, rejoice! a new-fledged wingAround the Throne is hovering,In sweet, glad, wondering love.
Blow, blow, ye gales! wild billows roll!Unfurl the canvas wide!O! where she labored lies our goal:Weak, timid, frail, yet would my soulFain be to hers allied.
Ship Faneuil Hall, Sept. 1846.
On the birth of an infant, she expressed her first maternal feelings, in verses of such exquisite beauty, that they can never be omitted in any collection of the gems of poetry—least of all in any collection ofherpoems.
The following are the verses alluded to:
MY BIRD.
Ere last year's moon had left the sky,A birdling sought my Indian nestAnd folded, oh so lovingly!Her tiny wings upon my breast.From morn till evening's purple tinge,In winsome helplessness she lies;Two rose leaves, with a silken fringe,Shut softly on her starry eyes.There's not in Ind a lovelier bird;Broad earth owns not a happier nestO God, thou hast a fountain stirred,Whose waters never more shall rest!This beautiful, mysterious thing,This seeming visitant from heaven,This bird with the immortal wing,To me—to me, thy hand has given.The pulse first caught its tiny stroke,The blood its crimson hue, from mine—This life, which I have dared invoke,Henceforth is parallel with thine.A silent awe is in my room—I tremble with delicious fear;The future with its light and gloom,Time and Eternity are here.Doubts—hopes, in eager tumult rise;Hear, O my God! one earnest prayer:—Room for my bird in Paradise,And give her angel plumage there!
Ere last year's moon had left the sky,A birdling sought my Indian nestAnd folded, oh so lovingly!Her tiny wings upon my breast.
From morn till evening's purple tinge,In winsome helplessness she lies;Two rose leaves, with a silken fringe,Shut softly on her starry eyes.
There's not in Ind a lovelier bird;Broad earth owns not a happier nestO God, thou hast a fountain stirred,Whose waters never more shall rest!
This beautiful, mysterious thing,This seeming visitant from heaven,This bird with the immortal wing,To me—to me, thy hand has given.
The pulse first caught its tiny stroke,The blood its crimson hue, from mine—This life, which I have dared invoke,Henceforth is parallel with thine.
A silent awe is in my room—I tremble with delicious fear;The future with its light and gloom,Time and Eternity are here.
Doubts—hopes, in eager tumult rise;Hear, O my God! one earnest prayer:—Room for my bird in Paradise,And give her angel plumage there!
Maulmain, January, 1848.
The following touching lines show that she could skilfully employ her ready pen in consoling those on whom had fallen the stroke of bereavement:
LINES
Addressed to a missionary friend in Burmah on the death of her little boy, thirteen months old, in which allusion is made to the previous death of his little brother.
A mound is in the graveyard,A short and narrow bed;No grass is growing on it,And no marble at its head:Ye may sit and weep beside itYe may kneel and kiss the sod,But ye'll find no balm for sorrow,In the cold and silent clod.There is anguish in the household,It is desolate and lone,For a fondly cherished nurslingFrom the parent nest has flown;A little form is missing;A heart has ceased to beat;And the chain of love lies shatteredAt the desolator's feet.Remove the empty cradle,His clothing put away,And all his little playthingsWith your choicest treasures lay;Strive not to check the tear drops,That fall like summer rain,For the sun of hope shines thro' them—Ye shall see his face again.Oh! think where rests your darling,—Not in his cradle bed;Not in the distant graveyard,With the still and mouldering deadBut in a heavenly mansion,Upon the Saviour's breast,With his brother's arms about him,He takes his sainted rest.He has put on robes of gloryFor the little robes ye wrought;And he fingers golden harp stringsFor the toys his sisters brought.Oh, weep! but with rejoicing;A heart gem have ye given,And behold its glorious settingIn the diadem of Heaven.
A mound is in the graveyard,A short and narrow bed;No grass is growing on it,And no marble at its head:Ye may sit and weep beside itYe may kneel and kiss the sod,But ye'll find no balm for sorrow,In the cold and silent clod.
There is anguish in the household,It is desolate and lone,For a fondly cherished nurslingFrom the parent nest has flown;A little form is missing;A heart has ceased to beat;And the chain of love lies shatteredAt the desolator's feet.
Remove the empty cradle,His clothing put away,And all his little playthingsWith your choicest treasures lay;Strive not to check the tear drops,That fall like summer rain,For the sun of hope shines thro' them—Ye shall see his face again.
Oh! think where rests your darling,—Not in his cradle bed;Not in the distant graveyard,With the still and mouldering deadBut in a heavenly mansion,Upon the Saviour's breast,With his brother's arms about him,He takes his sainted rest.
He has put on robes of gloryFor the little robes ye wrought;And he fingers golden harp stringsFor the toys his sisters brought.Oh, weep! but with rejoicing;A heart gem have ye given,And behold its glorious settingIn the diadem of Heaven.
The following letter and beautiful poems need little explanation. The letter is addressed to some of Dr.Judson's children, who resided in Worcester, Massachusetts, having been sent home from India to be educated in America. His health having failed, Dr. J. had sailed for the Isle of Bourbon for its restoration, and it was during his absence that these effusions were penned.
Maulmain, April 11, 1850.My very dear Children,I have painful news to tell you—news that I am sure will make your hearts ache; but I hope our heavenly Father will help you to bear it. Your dear papa is very, very ill indeed; so much so that the best judges fear that he will never be any better. He began to fail about five months ago, and has declined so gradually that we were not fully aware of his danger until lately; but within a few weeks those who love him have become very much alarmed.In January we went down to Mergui by the steamer, and when we returned, thought he was a little better, but he soon failed again. We spent a month at Amherst, but he received little if any benefit. Next, the doctors pronounced our house (the one you used to live in) unhealthy, and we moved to another. But all was of no use. Your dear papa continued to fail, till suddenly, one evening, his muscular strength gave way and he was prostrated on the bed, unable to help himself. This occurred about two weeks ago. Thedoctor now became alarmed, and said the only hope for him was in a long voyage. It was very hard to think of such a thing in his reduced state, particularly as I could not go with him; but after we had wept and prayed over it one day and night, we concluded that it was our duty to use the only means which God had left us, however painful.We immediately engaged his passage on board a French barque, bound for the Isle of Bourbon; but before it sailed he had become so very low that no one thought it right for him to go alone. They therefore called a meeting of the mission and appointed Mr. Ranney. It was a great relief to me, for he is a very kind man, and loves your dear papa very much; and he will do everything that can be done for his comfort. The officers of the vessel too, seemed greatly interested for him, as did every one else. He was carried on board a week ago yesterday, in a litter, and placed on a nice easy cot made purposely for him. I stayed with him all day, and at dark came home to stay with the children.The next day found that the vessel had only dropped down a little distance, and so I took a boat and followed. I expected this would certainly be the last day with him, but it was not. On Friday I went again, and though he did not appear as well as on the previous days, I was forced to take, as I then supposed,a final leave of him. But when morning came, I felt as though I could not live through the day without knowing how he was. So I took a boat again, and reached the vessel about 2 o'clockp.m.He could only speak in whispers, but seemed very glad that I came. The natives I had sent to fan him till he should get out of the river, came to me and begged to have him taken on shore again: and so small was my hope of his recovery, that my heart pleaded on their side, though I still thought it a duty to do as the doctor had ordered. I came away at dark, and though his lips moved to say some word of farewell, they made no sound.I hope that you, my dear boys, will never have cause to know what a heavy heart I bore back to my desolate home that night. The vessel got out to sea about 4 o'clock on Monday, and last night the natives returned, bringing a letter from Mr. Ranney. Your precious papa has revived again—spoke aloud—took a little tea and toast—said there was something animating in the touch of the sea breeze, and directed Mr. Ranney to write to me that he had a strong belief it was the will of God to restore him again to health. I feel somewhat encouraged, but dare not hope too much.And now, my dear boys, it will be three, perhaps four long months before we can hear from our beloved one again, and we shall all be very anxious. All wecan do is to commit him to the care of our heavenly Father, and, if we never see him again in this world, pray that we may be prepared to meet him in heavenYour most affectionate mother,Emily C. Judson
Maulmain, April 11, 1850.
My very dear Children,
I have painful news to tell you—news that I am sure will make your hearts ache; but I hope our heavenly Father will help you to bear it. Your dear papa is very, very ill indeed; so much so that the best judges fear that he will never be any better. He began to fail about five months ago, and has declined so gradually that we were not fully aware of his danger until lately; but within a few weeks those who love him have become very much alarmed.
In January we went down to Mergui by the steamer, and when we returned, thought he was a little better, but he soon failed again. We spent a month at Amherst, but he received little if any benefit. Next, the doctors pronounced our house (the one you used to live in) unhealthy, and we moved to another. But all was of no use. Your dear papa continued to fail, till suddenly, one evening, his muscular strength gave way and he was prostrated on the bed, unable to help himself. This occurred about two weeks ago. Thedoctor now became alarmed, and said the only hope for him was in a long voyage. It was very hard to think of such a thing in his reduced state, particularly as I could not go with him; but after we had wept and prayed over it one day and night, we concluded that it was our duty to use the only means which God had left us, however painful.
We immediately engaged his passage on board a French barque, bound for the Isle of Bourbon; but before it sailed he had become so very low that no one thought it right for him to go alone. They therefore called a meeting of the mission and appointed Mr. Ranney. It was a great relief to me, for he is a very kind man, and loves your dear papa very much; and he will do everything that can be done for his comfort. The officers of the vessel too, seemed greatly interested for him, as did every one else. He was carried on board a week ago yesterday, in a litter, and placed on a nice easy cot made purposely for him. I stayed with him all day, and at dark came home to stay with the children.
The next day found that the vessel had only dropped down a little distance, and so I took a boat and followed. I expected this would certainly be the last day with him, but it was not. On Friday I went again, and though he did not appear as well as on the previous days, I was forced to take, as I then supposed,a final leave of him. But when morning came, I felt as though I could not live through the day without knowing how he was. So I took a boat again, and reached the vessel about 2 o'clockp.m.He could only speak in whispers, but seemed very glad that I came. The natives I had sent to fan him till he should get out of the river, came to me and begged to have him taken on shore again: and so small was my hope of his recovery, that my heart pleaded on their side, though I still thought it a duty to do as the doctor had ordered. I came away at dark, and though his lips moved to say some word of farewell, they made no sound.
I hope that you, my dear boys, will never have cause to know what a heavy heart I bore back to my desolate home that night. The vessel got out to sea about 4 o'clock on Monday, and last night the natives returned, bringing a letter from Mr. Ranney. Your precious papa has revived again—spoke aloud—took a little tea and toast—said there was something animating in the touch of the sea breeze, and directed Mr. Ranney to write to me that he had a strong belief it was the will of God to restore him again to health. I feel somewhat encouraged, but dare not hope too much.
And now, my dear boys, it will be three, perhaps four long months before we can hear from our beloved one again, and we shall all be very anxious. All wecan do is to commit him to the care of our heavenly Father, and, if we never see him again in this world, pray that we may be prepared to meet him in heaven
Your most affectionate mother,
Emily C. Judson
PRAYER FOR DEAR PAPA.
Poor and needy little children,Saviour, God, we come to Thee,For our hearts are full of sorrow,And no other hope have we.Out, upon the restless ocean,There is one we dearly love,—Fold him in thine arms of pity,Spread thy guardian wings above.When the winds are howling round him,When the angry waves are high,When black, heavy, midnight shadows,On his trackless pathway lie,Guide and guard him, blessed Saviour,Bid the hurrying tempests stay;Plant thy foot upon the waters.Send thy smile to light his way.When he lies, all pale, and suffering,Stretched upon his narrow bed,With no loving face bent o'er him,No soft hand about his head,O, let kind and pitying angels,Their bright forms around him bow;Let them kiss his heavy eyelids,Let them fan his fevered brow.Poor and needy little children,Still we raise our cry to TheeWe have nestled in his bosom,We have sported on his knee;Dearly, dearly do we love him,—We, who on his breast have lain—Pity now our desolation!Bring him back to us again!If it please thee, Heavenly Father,We would see him come once more,With his olden step of vigor,With the love-lit smile he wore;But if we must tread Life's valley,Orphaned, guideless, and alone,Let us lose not, 'mid the shadows,His dear footprints to thy Throne.
Poor and needy little children,Saviour, God, we come to Thee,For our hearts are full of sorrow,And no other hope have we.Out, upon the restless ocean,There is one we dearly love,—Fold him in thine arms of pity,Spread thy guardian wings above.
When the winds are howling round him,When the angry waves are high,When black, heavy, midnight shadows,On his trackless pathway lie,Guide and guard him, blessed Saviour,Bid the hurrying tempests stay;Plant thy foot upon the waters.Send thy smile to light his way.
When he lies, all pale, and suffering,Stretched upon his narrow bed,With no loving face bent o'er him,No soft hand about his head,O, let kind and pitying angels,Their bright forms around him bow;Let them kiss his heavy eyelids,Let them fan his fevered brow.
Poor and needy little children,Still we raise our cry to TheeWe have nestled in his bosom,We have sported on his knee;Dearly, dearly do we love him,—We, who on his breast have lain—Pity now our desolation!Bring him back to us again!
If it please thee, Heavenly Father,We would see him come once more,With his olden step of vigor,With the love-lit smile he wore;But if we must tread Life's valley,Orphaned, guideless, and alone,Let us lose not, 'mid the shadows,His dear footprints to thy Throne.
Maulmain, April, 1850.
SWEET MOTHER.
The wild, south-west Monsoon has risen,With broad, gray wings of gloom,While here, from out my dreary prison,I look, as from a tomb—Alas!My heart another tomb.Upon the low-thatched roof, the rain,With ceaseless patter, falls;My choicest treasures bear its stain—Mould gathers on the walls—Would Heaven'Twere only on the walls!Sweet Mother! I am here alone,In sorrow and in pain;The sunshine from my heart has flown,It feels the driving rain—Ah, me!The chill, and mould, and rain.Four laggard months have wheeled their roundSince love upon it smiled;And everything of earth has frownedOn thy poor, stricken child—sweet friend,Thy weary, suffering child.I'd watched my loved one, night and day.Scarce breathing when he slept;And as my hopes were swept away,I'd on his bosom wept—O God!How had I prayed and wept!They bore him from me to the ship,As bearers bear the dead;I kissed his speechless, quivering lip,And left him on his bed—Alas!It seemed a coffin-bed!When from my gentle sister's tomb,In all our grief, we came,Rememberest thou her vacant room!Well, his was just the same, that day.The very, very same.Then, mother, little Charley came—Our beautiful fair boy,With my own father's cherished name—But oh, he brought no joy!—My childBrought mourning, and no joy.His little grave I cannot see,Though weary months have spedSince pitying lips bent over me,And whispered, "He is dead!"—Alas'Tis dreadful to be dead!I do not mean for one like me,—So weary, worn, and weak,—Death's shadowy paleness seems to beEven now, upon my cheek—his sealOn form, and brow and cheek.But for a bright-winged bird like him,To hush his joyous song,And, prisoned in a coffin dim,Join Death's pale, phantom throng—My boyTo join that grisly throng!Oh, Mother, I can scarcely bearTo think of this to-day!It was so exquisitely fair,—That little form of clay—my heartStill lingers by his clay.And when for one loved far, far more,Come thickly gathering tears;My star of faith is clouded o'er,I sink beneath my fears—sweet friend,My heavy weight of fears.Oh, should he not return to me,Drear, drear must be life's night!And, mother, I can almost seeEven now the gathering blight—my soulFaints, stricken by the blight.Oh, but to feel thy fond arms twineAround me, once again!It almost seems those lips of thineMight kiss away the pain—might sootheThis dull, cold, heavy pain.But, gentle Mother, through life's storms,I may not lean on thee,For helpless, cowering little formsCling trustingly to me—Poor babes!To have no guide but me!With weary foot, and broken wing,With bleeding heart, and sore,Thy Dove looks backward, sorrowing,But seeks the ark no more—thy breastSeeks never, never more.Sweet Mother, for this wanderer pray,That loftier faith be given;Her broken reeds all swept away,That she may lean on Heaven—her soulGrow strong on Christ and Heaven.All fearfully, all tearfully,Alone and sorrowing.My dim eye lifted to the sky,Fast to the cross I cling—O Christ!To thy dear cross I cling.
The wild, south-west Monsoon has risen,With broad, gray wings of gloom,While here, from out my dreary prison,I look, as from a tomb—Alas!My heart another tomb.
Upon the low-thatched roof, the rain,With ceaseless patter, falls;My choicest treasures bear its stain—Mould gathers on the walls—Would Heaven'Twere only on the walls!
Sweet Mother! I am here alone,In sorrow and in pain;The sunshine from my heart has flown,It feels the driving rain—Ah, me!The chill, and mould, and rain.
Four laggard months have wheeled their roundSince love upon it smiled;And everything of earth has frownedOn thy poor, stricken child—sweet friend,Thy weary, suffering child.
I'd watched my loved one, night and day.Scarce breathing when he slept;And as my hopes were swept away,I'd on his bosom wept—O God!How had I prayed and wept!
They bore him from me to the ship,As bearers bear the dead;I kissed his speechless, quivering lip,And left him on his bed—Alas!It seemed a coffin-bed!
When from my gentle sister's tomb,In all our grief, we came,Rememberest thou her vacant room!Well, his was just the same, that day.The very, very same.
Then, mother, little Charley came—Our beautiful fair boy,With my own father's cherished name—But oh, he brought no joy!—My childBrought mourning, and no joy.
His little grave I cannot see,Though weary months have spedSince pitying lips bent over me,And whispered, "He is dead!"—Alas'Tis dreadful to be dead!
I do not mean for one like me,—So weary, worn, and weak,—Death's shadowy paleness seems to beEven now, upon my cheek—his sealOn form, and brow and cheek.
But for a bright-winged bird like him,To hush his joyous song,And, prisoned in a coffin dim,Join Death's pale, phantom throng—My boyTo join that grisly throng!
Oh, Mother, I can scarcely bearTo think of this to-day!It was so exquisitely fair,—That little form of clay—my heartStill lingers by his clay.
And when for one loved far, far more,Come thickly gathering tears;My star of faith is clouded o'er,I sink beneath my fears—sweet friend,My heavy weight of fears.
Oh, should he not return to me,Drear, drear must be life's night!And, mother, I can almost seeEven now the gathering blight—my soulFaints, stricken by the blight.
Oh, but to feel thy fond arms twineAround me, once again!It almost seems those lips of thineMight kiss away the pain—might sootheThis dull, cold, heavy pain.
But, gentle Mother, through life's storms,I may not lean on thee,For helpless, cowering little formsCling trustingly to me—Poor babes!To have no guide but me!
With weary foot, and broken wing,With bleeding heart, and sore,Thy Dove looks backward, sorrowing,But seeks the ark no more—thy breastSeeks never, never more.
Sweet Mother, for this wanderer pray,That loftier faith be given;Her broken reeds all swept away,That she may lean on Heaven—her soulGrow strong on Christ and Heaven.
All fearfully, all tearfully,Alone and sorrowing.My dim eye lifted to the sky,Fast to the cross I cling—O Christ!To thy dear cross I cling.
Maulmain, August 8th, 1850
From the sad voyage which drew forth this most touching poem Dr. Judson never returned. He died on board the ship which was bearing him to more healthful climes; and his body was committed to the ocean. One of the most excellent of Mrs. Judson's productions is her account of the closing scenes in her husband's life, contained in a letter to his sister. Long as it is, we cannot bring ourselves to abridge it. It will convince our readers that if theTHREEwhose lives we have sketched, have been among the first of women, they were united to one who knew and appreciated their excellence, and who wasworthyto share their affection.
CLOSING SCENES IN THE LIFE OF DR. JUDSON.
BY HIS WIDOW.
Last month I could do no more than announce to you our painful bereavement, which though not altogether unexpected, will, I very well know, fall upon your heart with overwhelming weight. You will find the account of your brother's last days on board the Aristide Marie, in a letter written by Mr. Ranney from Mauritius, to the Secretary of the Board; and I can add nothing to it, with the exception of a few unimportant particulars, gleaned in conversation with Mr. R. and the Coringa servant. I grieve that it should be so—that I was not permitted to watch beside him during those days of terrible suffering; but the pain, which I at first felt, is gradually yielding to gratitude for the inestimable privileges which had previously been granted me.
There was something exceedingly beautiful in the decline of your brother's life—more beautiful than I can describe, though the impression will remain with me as a sacred legacy, until I go to meet him where suns shall never set, and life shall never end. He had been, from my first acquaintance with him, an uncommonly spiritual Christian, exhibiting his richest graces in the unguarded intercourse of private life; but during his last year, it seemed as though the light of the world on which he was entering, had been sent to brighten his upward pathway. Every subject on which we conversed, every book we read, every incident that occurred, whether trivial or important, had a tendency to suggest some peculiarly spiritual train ofthought, till it seemed to me that more than ever before, "Christ was all his theme." Something of the same nature was also noted in his preaching, to which I then had not the privilege of listening. He was in the habit, however, of studying his subject for the Sabbath, audibly, and in my presence, at which time he was frequently so much affected as to weep, and some times so overwhelmed with the vastness of his conceptions, as to be obliged to abandon his theme and choose another. My own illness at the commencement of the year had brought eternity very near to us, and rendered death, the grave, and the bright heaven beyond it, familiar subjects of conversation. Gladly would I give you, my dear sister, some idea of the share borne by him in those memorable conversations; but it would be impossible to convey, even to those who knew him best, the most distant conception. I believe he has sometimes been thought eloquent, both in conversation and in the sacred desk; but the fervid, burning eloquence, the deep pathos, the touching tenderness, the elevation of thought, and intense beauty of expression, which characterized those private teachings, were not only beyond what I had ever heard before, but such as I felt sure arrested his own attention, and surprised even himself. About this time he began to find unusual satisfaction and enjoyment in his private devotions; and seemed to havefew objects of interest continually rising in his mind each of which in turn became special subjects of prayer. Among these, one of the most prominent was the conversion of his posterity. He remarked, that he had always prayed for his children, but that of late he had felt impressed with the duty of praying for their children and their children's children down to the latest generation. He also prayed most fervently, that his impressions on this particular subject might be transferred to his sons and daughters, and thence to their offspring, so that he should ultimately meet a long unbroken line of descendants before the throne of God, where all might join together in ascribing everlasting praises to their Redeemer.
Another subject, which occupied a large share of his attention, was that of brotherly love. You are, perhaps, aware, that like all persons of his ardent temperament, he was subject to strong attachments and aversions, which he sometimes had difficulty in bringing under the controlling influence of divine grace. He remarked that he had always felt more or less of an affectionate interest in his brethren, as brethren—and some of them he had loved very dearly for their personal qualities; but that he was now aware he had never placed his standard of love high enough. He spoke of them as children of God, redeemed by the Saviour's blood, watched over andguarded by his love, dear to his heart, honored by him in the election, and to be honored hereafter before the assembled universe; and he said it was not sufficient to be kind and obliging to such, to abstain from evil speaking, and make a general mention of them in our prayers; but our attachment to them should be of the race, ardent and exalted character—it would be so in heaven, and we lost immeasurably by not beginning now. "As I have loved you, so ought ye also to love one another," was a precept continually in his mind, and he would often murmur, as though unconsciously, "'As I have loved you'—'as I have loved you'"—then burst out with the exclamation, "Oh, the love of Christ! the love of Christ!"
His prayers for the mission were marked by an earnest, grateful enthusiasm, and in speaking of missionary operations in general, his tone was one of elevated triumph, almost of exultation—for he not only felt an unshaken confidence in their final success but would often exclaim, "What wonders—oh, what wonders God has already wrought!"
I remarked, that during this year his literary labor, which he had never liked, and upon which he had entered unwillingly and from a feeling of necessity, was growing daily more irksome to him; and he always spoke of it as his "heavy work," his "tedious work," "that wearisome dictionary," &c., though thisfeeling led to no relaxation of effort. He longed, however, to find some more spiritual employment, to be engaged in what he considered more legitimate missionary labor, and drew delightful pictures of the future, when his whole business would be but to preach and to pray.
During all this time I had not observed any failure in physical strength; and though his mental exercises occupied a large share of my thoughts when alone, it never once occurred to me that this might be the brightening of the setting sun; my only feeling was that of pleasure, that one so near to me was becoming so pure and elevated in his sentiments, and so lovely and Christ-like in his character. In person he had grown somewhat stouter than when in America, his complexion had a healthful hue compared with that of his associates generally; and though by no means a person of uniformly firm health, he seemed to possess such vigor and strength of constitution, that I thought his life as likely to be extended twenty years longer, as that of any member of the mission. He continued his system of morning exercise, commenced when a student at Andover, and was not satisfied with a common walk on level ground, but always chose an up-hill path, and then frequently went bounding on his way, with all the exuberant activity of boyhood.
He was of a singularly happy temperament, although not of that even cast, which never rises above a certain level, and is never depressed. Possessing acute sensibilities, suffering with those who suffered and entering as readily into the joys of the prosperous and happy, he was variable in his moods; but religion formed such an essential element in his character, and his trust in Providence was so implicit and habitual, that he was never gloomy, and seldom more than momentarily disheartened. On the other hand, being accustomed to regard all the events of this life, however minute or painful, as ordered in wisdom and tending to one great and glorious end, he lived in almost constant obedience to the apostolic injunction, "Rejoice evermore!" He often told me that although he had endured much personal suffering, and passed through many fearful trials in the course of his eventful life, a kind Providence had also hedged him round with precious, peculiar blessings, so that his joys had far outnumbered his sorrows.
Toward the close of September of last year, he said to me one evening, "What deep cause have we for gratitude to God!—do you believe there are any other two persons in the wide world so happy as we are?" enumerating, in his own earnest manner, several sources of happiness, in which our work as missionaries, and our eternal prospects, occupied a prominent position. When he had finished his glowing picture, Iremarked (I scarcely know why, but there was a heavy cloud upon my spirits that evening), "We are certainly very happy now, but it cannot be so always—I am thinking of the time when one of us must stand beside the bed, and see the other die."
"Yes," he said, "that will be a sad moment; I felt it most deeply a little while ago, but now it would not be strange if your life were prolonged beyond mine—though I should wish if it were possible to spare you that pain. It is the one left alone who suffers, not the one who goes to be with Christ. If it should only be the will of God that we might go together, like young James and his wife. But he will order all things well, and we can safely trust our future to his hands."
That same night we were roused from sleep by the sudden illness of one of the children. There was an unpleasant, chilling dampness in the air, as it came to us through the openings in the sloats above the windows, which affected your brother very sensibly, and he soon began to shiver so violently, that he was obliged to return to his couch, where he remained under a warm covering until morning. In the morning he awoke with a severe cold, accompanied by some degree of fever; but as it did not seem very serious, and our three children were all suffering from a similar cause, we failed to give it any especial attention. From that time he was never well, though inwriting to you before, I think I dated the commencement of his illness, from the month of November, when he laid aside his studies. I know that he regarded this attack as trifling, and yet one evening he spent a long time in advising me with regard to my future course, if I should be deprived of his guidance; saying that it is always wise to be prepared for exigences of this nature. After the month of November, he failed gradually, occasionally rallying in such a manner as to deceive us all, but at each relapse sinking lower than at the previous one, though still full of hope and courage, and yielding ground only, inch by inch, as compelled by the triumphant progress of disease. During some hours of every day he suffered intense pain; but his naturally buoyant spirits and uncomplaining disposition led him to speak so lightly of it, that I used sometimes to fear the doctor, though a very skilful man, would be fatally deceived.
As his health declined, his mental exercises at first seemed deepened; and he gave still larger portions of his time to prayer, conversing with the utmost freedom on his daily progress, and the extent of his self-conquest. Just before our trip to Mergui, which took place in January, he looked up from his pillow one day with sudden animation, and said to me earnestly, "I have gained the victory at last. I love every one of Christ's redeemed, as I believe he would have melove them—in the same manner, though not probably to the same degree as we shall love one another in heaven; and gladly would I prefer the meanest of his creatures, who bears his name, before myself." This he said in allusion to the text, "In honor preferring one another," on which he had frequently dwelt with great emphasis. After farther similar conversation he concluded, "And now here I lie at peace with all the world, and what is better still, at peace with my own conscience. I know that I am a miserable sinner in the sight of God, with no hope but in the blessed Saviour's merits; but I cannot think of any particular fault, any peculiarly besetting sin, which it is now my duty to correct. Can you tell me of any?"
And truly, from this time no other word would so well express his state of feeling, as that one of his own choosing—peace. He had no particular exercises afterwards, but remained calm and serene, speaking of himself daily as a great sinner, who had been overwhelmed with benefits, and declaring, that he had never in all his life before, had such delightful views of the unfathomable love and infinite condescension of the Saviour, as were now daily opening before him. "Oh, the love of Christ! the love of Christ!" he would suddenly exclaim, while his eye kindled, and the tears chased each other down hischeeks, "we cannot understand it now—but what a beautiful study for eternity!"
After our return from Mergui, the doctor advised a still farther trial of the effects of sea air and sea-bathing, and we accordingly proceeded to Amherst, where we remained nearly a month. This to me was the darkest period of his illness—no medical adviser, no friend at hand, and he daily growing weaker and weaker. He began to totter in walking, clinging to the furniture and walls, when he thought he was unobserved (for he was not willing to acknowledge the extent of his debility), and his wan face was of a ghastly paleness. His sufferings too were sometimes fearfully intense, so that in spite of his habitual self-control, his groans would fill the house. At other times a kind of lethargy seemed to steal over him, and he would sleep almost incessantly for twenty-four hours, seeming annoyed if he were aroused or disturbed. Yet there were portions of the time, when he was comparatively comfortable, and conversed intelligently; but his mind seemed to revert to former scenes, and he tried to amuse me with stories of his boyhood—his college days—his imprisonment in France, and his early missionary life. He had a great deal also to say on his favorite theme. "The love of Christ:" but his strength was too much impaired for any continuous mental effort. Even a shortprayer made audibly, exhausted him to such a degree that he was obliged to discontinue the practice.
At length I wrote to Maulmain, giving some expression of my anxieties and misgivings, and our kind missionary friends, who had from the first evinced all the tender interest and watchful sympathy of the nearest kindred immediately sent for us—the doctor advising a sea-voyage. But as there was no vessel in the harbor bound for a port sufficiently distant, we thought it best, in the meantime, to remove from our old dwelling, which had long been condemned as unhealthy, to another mission-house, fortunately empty. This change was at first attended with the most beneficial results, and our hopes revived so much, that we looked forward to the approaching rainy season for entire restoration. But it lasted only a little while, and then both of us became convinced, that though a voyage at sea involved much that was exceedingly painful, it yet presented the only prospect of recovery, and could not, therefore, without a breach of duty, be neglected.
"Oh, if it were only the will of God to take me now—to let me die here!" he repeated over and over again, in a tone of anguish, while we where considering the subject. "I cannot, cannot go!—this is almost more than I can bear! was there ever suffering like our suffering!" and the like broken expressions, werecontinually falling from his lips. But he soon gathered more strength of purpose; and after the decision was fairly made, he never hesitated for a moment, rather regarding the prospect with pleasure. I think the struggle which this resolution cost, injured him very materially; though probably it had no share in bringing about the final result. God, who saw the end from the beginning had counted out his days, and they were hastening to a close. Until this time he had been able to stand, and to walk slowly from room to room; but as he one evening attempted to rise from his chair, he was suddenly deprived of his small remnant of muscular strength, and would have fallen to the floor, but for timely support.
From that moment his decline was rapid. As he lay helplessly upon his couch, and watched the swelling of his feet, and other alarming symptoms, he became very anxious to commence his voyage, and I felt equally anxious to have his wishes gratified. I still hoped he might recover—the doctor said the chances of life and death were in his opinion equally balanced—and then he always loved the sea so dearly! There was something exhilarating to him in the motion of a vessel, and he spoke with animation of getting free from the almost suffocating atmosphere incident to the hot season, and drinking in the fresh sea breezes He talked but little more, however, than was necessaryto indicate his wants, his bodily sufferings being too great to allow of conversation; but several times he looked up to me with a bright smile, and exclaimed as heretofore, "Oh, the love of Christ! the love of Christ!"
I found it difficult to ascertain, from expressions casually dropped, from time to time, his real opinion with regard to his recovery; but I thought there was some reason to doubt whether he was fully aware of his critical situation. I did not suppose he had any preparation to make at this late hour, and I felt sure that if he should be called ever so unexpectedly, he would not enter the presence of his Maker with a ruffled spirit; but I could not bear to have him go away, without knowing how doubtful it was whether our next meeting would not be in eternity; and perhaps too, in my own distress, I might still have looked for words of encouragement and sympathy, to a source which had never before failed.
It was late in the night, and I had been performing some little sick-room offices, when suddenly he looked up to me, and exclaimed, "This will never do! You are killing yourself for me, and I will not permit it You must have some one to relieve you. If I had not been made selfish by suffering, I should have insisted upon it long ago."
He spoke so like himself—with the earnestness ofhealth, and in a tone to which my ear had of late been a stranger, that for a moment I felt almost bewildered with sudden hope. He received my reply to what he had said, with a half-pitying, half-gratified smile, but in the meantime his expression had changed—the marks of excessive debility were again apparent, and I could not forbear adding, "It is only a little while, you know."
"Only a little while," he repeated mournfully; "this separation is a bitter thing, but it does not distress me now as it did—I am too weak." "You have no reason to be distressed," I answered, "with such glorious prospects before you. You have often told me it is the one left alone who suffers, not the one who goes to be with Christ." He gave me a rapid, questioning glance, then assumed for several moments an attitude of deep thought. Finally, he slowly unclosed his eyes, and fixing them on me, said in a calm, earnest tone, "I do not believe I am going to die. I think I know why this illness has been sent upon me—I needed it—I feel that it has done me good—and it is my impression, that I shall now recover, and be a better and more useful man."
"Then it is your wish to recover?" I inquired. "If it should be the will of God, yes. I should like to complete the dictionary, on which I have bestowed so much labor, now that it is so nearly done; for thoughit has not been a work that pleased my taste, or quite satisfied my feelings, I have never underrated its importance. Then after that come all the plans we have formed. Oh, I feel as though only just beginning to be prepared for usefulness."
"It is the opinion of most of the mission," I remarked, "that you will not recover." "I know it is," he replied; "and I suppose they think me an old man, and imagine that it is nothing for one like me to resign a life so full of trials. But I am not old—at least in that sense—you know I am not. Oh! no man ever left this world with more inviting prospects, with brighter hopes or warmer feelings—warmer feelings"—he repeated, and burst into tears. His face was perfectly placid, even while the tears broke away from the closed lids, and rolled, one after another, down to the pillow. There was no trace of agitation or pain in his manner of weeping, but it was evidently the result of acute sensibilities, combined with great physical weakness. To some suggestions which I ventured to make, he replied, "It is not that—I know all that, and feel it in my inmost heart. Lying here on my bed, when I could not talk, I have had such views of the loving condescension of Christ, and the glories of heaven, as I believe are seldom granted to mortal man. It is not because I shrink from death, that I wish to live; neither is it because the ties that bind me herethough some of them are very sweet, bear any comparison with the drawings I at times feel towards heaven; but a few years would not be missed from my eternity of bliss, and I can well afford to spare them, both for your sake and for the sake of the poor Burmans. I am not tired of my work, neither am I tired of the world; yet when Christ calls me home. I shall go with the gladness of a boy bounding away from his school. Perhaps I feel something like the young bride, when she contemplates resigning the pleasant associations of her childhood, for a yet dearer home—though only a very little like her—forthere is no doubt resting on my future." "Then death would not take you by surprise," I remarked, "if it should come even before you could get on board ship." "Oh, no," he said, "death will never take me by surprise—do not be afraid of that—I feelso strong in Christ. He has not led me so tenderly thus far, to forsake me at the very gate of heaven. No, no; I am willing to live a few years longer, if it should be so ordered; and if otherwise, I am willing and glad to die now. I leave myself entirely in the hands of God, to be disposed of according to his holy will."
The next day some one mentioned in his presence, that the native Christians were greatly opposed to the voyage, and that many other persons had a similar feeling with regard to it I thought he seemed troubled; and after the visitor had withdrawn, I inquired if he still felt as when he conversed with me the night previous. He replied, "Oh yes; that was no evanescent feeling. It has been with me, to a greater or less extent, for years, and will be with me, I trust, to the end. I am ready to goto-day—if it should be the will of God, this very hour; but I am notanxiousto die—at least when I am not beside myself with pain."
"Then why are you so desirous to go to sea? I should think it would be a matter of indifference to you." "No," he answered quietly, "my judgment tells me it would be wrong not to go—the doctor sayscriminal. I shall certainly die here—if I go away, I may possibly recover. There is no question with regard to duty in such a case; and I do not like to see any hesitation, even though it springs from affection."
He several times spoke of a burial at sea, and always as though the prospect were agreeable. It brought, he said, a sense of freedom and expansion and seemed far pleasanter than the confined, dark, narrow grave, to which he had committed so many that he loved. And he added, that although his burial-place was a matter of no real importance, yet he believed it was not in human nature to be altogether without a choice.
I have already given you an account of the embarkation, of my visits to him while the vessel remained in the river, and of our last sad, silent parting; andMr. Ranney has finished the picture. You will find in this closing part, some dark shadows, that will give you pain; but you must remember that his present felicity is enhanced by those very sufferings, and we should regret nothing that serves to brighten his crown in glory. I ought also to add, that I have gained pleasanter impressions in conversation with Mr. R. than from his written account; but it would be difficult to convey them to you; and, as he whom they concern was accustomed to say of similar things, "you will learn it all in heaven."
During the last hour of your sainted brother's life, Mr. Ranney bent over him and held his hand; while poor Pinapah stood at a little distance weeping bitterly. The table had been spread in the cuddy, as usual, and the officers did not know what was passing in the cabin, till summoned to dinner. Then they gathered about the door, and watched the closing scene with solemn reverence. Now—thanks to a merciful God! his pains had left him, not a momentary spasm disturbed his placid face, nor did the contraction of a muscle denote the least degree of suffering; the agony of death was passed, and his wearied spirit was turning to its rest in the bosom of his Saviour. From time to time, he pressed the hand in which his own was resting, his clasp losing in force at each successive pressure; while his shortened breath (though there was nostruggle, no gasping, as if it came and went with difficulty) gradually grew softer and fainter, until it died upon the air—and he was gone. Mr. Ranney closed the eyes, and composed the passive limbs,—the ship's officers stole softly from the door, and the neglected meal was left upon the board untasted.
They lowered him to his ocean-grave without a prayer; for his freed spirit had soared above the reach of earthly intercession, and to the foreigners who stood around, it would have been a senseless form. And there they left him in his unquiet sepulchre; but it matters little, for we know that while the unconscious clay is "drifting on the shifting currents of the restless main," nothing can disturb the hallowed rest of the immortal spirit. Neither could he have a more fitting monument, than the blue waves which visit every coast; for his warm sympathies went forth to the ends of the earth, and included the whole family of man. It is all as God would have it, and our duty is but to bend meekly to his will, and wait, in faith and patience, till we also shall be summoned home.
* * * * "Last scene of allTo close this sad, eventful history."
* * * * "Last scene of allTo close this sad, eventful history."
Scarcely four years ago,—in sickness and loneliness, and sad suspense,—in her Burman home, from which had departed (alas, forever!) its light and head—Emily C. Judson penned the foregoing beautiful letter. Read again its closing sentence,[11]and note how short a time she has "waited in faith and patience;" howsoonshe has been "summoned home." Forher, it would be wrong for us to mourn. She has rejoined that circle, which she loved so well on earth, in a land where
"Sickness and sorrow, pain and deathAre felt andfearedno more."
"Sickness and sorrow, pain and deathAre felt andfearedno more."
But to her aged parents—to the little flock to whom she was as the tenderest mother—to the literary world, which enjoyed the ripe fruits of her genius—to the Christian world, of which she was a shining ornament and glory, her loss is irreparable. In her own inimitable words, we may exclaim:
"Weep, ye bereaved! a dearer headNe'er left the pillowing breast;The good, the pure, the lovely fled,When mingling with the shadowy deadShe meekly went to rest."Angels, rejoice! another stringHas caught the strains above,Rejoice, rejoice! a new-fledged wingAround the throne is hovering,In sweet, glad, wondering love."
"Weep, ye bereaved! a dearer headNe'er left the pillowing breast;The good, the pure, the lovely fled,When mingling with the shadowy deadShe meekly went to rest.
"Angels, rejoice! another stringHas caught the strains above,Rejoice, rejoice! a new-fledged wingAround the throne is hovering,In sweet, glad, wondering love."
But though one of the sweet fountains that well up here and there in our desert world, and surround themselves with greenness, and beauty, and life, has been exhaled to heaven, still it is refreshing to know that its streams, which made glad so many hearts, have not perished, for they were of "living water, springing up" into immortality. The writer is lost to us; her writings remain. By them "she being dead yet speaketh," and through them, whensoever we will, she may talk with us.
Mrs. Judson's final malady was consumption, but for several years her health had been feeble. One who saw her just before she left America says: "Looking upon her, we saw at once that it was a spirit which had already outworn its frame—a slight, pale,delicate, and transparent creature, every thought and feeling shining through, and every word and movement tremulous with fragility. * * * We said farewell with no thought that she would ever return."
From her voyage across the ocean she suffered less than was apprehended, and for a time she found the climate of India rather congenial than otherwise to her constitution. Her short residence at Rangoon, whither her husband removed with his family soon after reaching Burmah, was indeed a period of great suffering, and would have given a shock to a much hardier constitution. Her narrative of their sufferings there, contained in the life of her husband, by Dr. Wayland, excites our wonder that she survived them. But after their removal to Maulmain, she was restored to comparative health.
A letter from her husband, written in the latter part of 1848, when her little Emily Frances, her "bird," was one year old, gives a glowing picture of their happiness and their labors. He playfully says: "Even 'the young romance writer' had made a little book, (Scripture questions,) and she manages to conduct a Bible class, and native female prayer-meetings, so that I hope she will yet come to some good."
But a letter written to Miss Anable, Philadelphia, in the spring of 1849, is in a different strain: "A dark cloud is gathering round me. A crushingweight is upon me. I cannot resist the dreadful conviction that dear Emily is in a settled and rapid decline." After speaking of the many means he had unsuccessfully employed for her restoration, he says "The symptoms are such that I have scarcely any hope left. * * * If a change to any place promised the least relief, I would go anywhere. But we are here in the healthiest part of India, in the dry, warm season, and she suffers so much at sea that a voyage could hardly be recommended for itself. My only hope is, the doctor declares her lungs are not seriously affected. * * * When at Tavoy, she made up her mind that she must die soon, and that is now her prevailing expectation; but she contemplates the event with composure and resignation. * * * Though she feels that in her circumstances, prolonged life is exceedingly desirable, she is quite willing to leave all at the Savior's call. Praise be to God for his love to her." Some days later he adds: "Emily is better. * * * But though the deadly-pressure is removed from my heart, I do not venture to indulge any sanguine hopes after what I have seen. * * * Do remember us in your prayers."
The doctor's predictions proved correct; Mrs. Judson partially recovered from this attack, although in August her husband writes: "Emily's health is very delicate—her hold on life very precarious."
Alas! his own hold on life was more precarious still. In the following spring, the heart that had beat for her so fondly and truly was consigned to its "unquiet sepulchre;" "the blue waves which visit every coast" his only and "fitting monument;" while the object of his tender solicitude was compelled to endure four months the agony of suspense as tohisfate, terminated by the sad certainty of his death.[12]
After the death of her husband, Mrs. Judson expressed a strong desire to remain in Burmah and devote herself to the cause which was so dear to her husband's and her own heart. But her health, always delicate, was so unfavorably affected by that climate that her physicians were of opinion another rainy season would terminate her life. A numerous family of children, several of whom were in this country, needed her maternal care and guidance; and for their sakes, as well as for her own, she left Burmah in the winter following her husband's death, and arrived in this country in October, 1851, after an absence of five years and three months. She found in the beautiful village of Hamilton a sequestered and lovely home for herself and her family, which consisted of her aged parents, the five children of Sarah B. Judson, and her own "bird," Emily Frances.The cares of her family, and literary labors, here divided her time until the prostration of her health by her last sickness, since which period she has "set her house in order,"[13]and calmly awaited the summons of death. Peacefully and sweetly did the summons come, and on the first of June she fell asleep in Jesus. With a sister poet she might have said—
"I'm passing through the eternal gates,Ere June's sweet roses blow."
"I'm passing through the eternal gates,Ere June's sweet roses blow."
She had often spoken of this rich and glorious month as her "time to die," and repeated Bryant's hymn,—
"'Twere pleasant that in flowery June,When brooks send up a cheerful tune,And groves a joyous sound,The sexton's hand my grave to make,The rich, green mountain-turf should break."
"'Twere pleasant that in flowery June,When brooks send up a cheerful tune,And groves a joyous sound,The sexton's hand my grave to make,The rich, green mountain-turf should break."
Nature had no more ardent lover than she; and it is pleasant to think that her dust is returning to dust in a lovely village church-yard, under the "pure air of heaven, and amid the luxuriance of flowers." Pleasant also is it to read that a vast concourse of sincere admirers and loving friends, and among them all her children, eagerly testified their respect to her, by attending her remains to their burial. To her glorified spirit such manifestations may indeed be of little moment. Yet even her glorified spirit may feel a new thrill of pleasure in beholding, from its serene sphere, the love that prompted them, and sought in the choice of her last resting-place to give even to the unconscious dead one more proof of affection.
In so imperfect a sketch as ours, a delineation of the character of Mrs. Judson will not be attempted, We would not, if we could, anticipate her memoir, which, it is said, will soon be published. From documents open to the public, we shall merely glean such notices of her life and character as shall induce in ourreaders a desire to know those details of her personal history which will doubtless be found in her biography.
From what we can learn, we infer that the prominent traits in her character were strong affections, energy, and disinterestedness. Of a slight and delicate frame and constitution, and a sensibility almost amounting to sensitiveness, she at an early age engaged in duties and made sacrifices scarcely expected from the robust and vigorous. And her exertions had for their end mainly to benefit those she loved. Whether she taught in the district school, or in the higher seminary, or wrote Sunday-school books, or contributed to literary periodicals, her affection for her mother, and desire to lighten her burdens, seem to have stimulated her exertions and called forth her powers. In her early religious experience, the same disinterestedness manifested itself; for no sooner did she feel the renewing power of faith in her own heart, than she longed to impart even to the distant heathen the same precious blessing.[14]Unselfish affection is also, we think, a strongly marked trait in her married life. Not long after their arrival in Burmah, Mr. Judson writes: "Emily loves the children as if they were her own." And again, nearly two years later: "We are a deliciously happy family;" and again,"Emily has taken to my two boys as if they were her own; so that we are a very happy family; not a happier, I am sure, on the broad earth."
Another proof of the same trait, was her loving and sympathetic appreciation of a peculiar trait in her husband, which, had her disposition been less noble, might have caused her some annoyance. Of this trait Dr. Wayland thus speaks: "There was a feature in Dr. Judson's affection as a husband, which was, I think, peculiar. He was, as it is well known, married three times, and no man was ever more tenderly attached to each of his wives. The present affection, however, seemed in no respect to lessen his affection for those for whom he mourned. He ever spoke of those who had gone before, with undiminished interest. In one of his letters to his daughter, after saying he did not believe there existed on earth so happy a family as his, he soon after adds: 'My tears fall frequently for her who lies in her lone bed at St. Helena.' It was at his suggestion that Mrs. Emily Judson wrote the life of her predecessor. He frequently refers with delight to the time when he, and all those whom he so much loved, shall meet in Paradise, no more to part, but to spend an eternity together in the presence of Christ. Those that were once loved were loved to the end; but this did not prevent the bestowment of an equal amount of affection on a successor." To quote the words of another, speaking of Mrs. Mary Ware, who, placed in similar circumstances to Mrs. Judson, showed the same noble superiority to a common weakness of her sex: "She had no sympathy and little respect for that narrow view which insists that the departed and the living cannot share the same pure love of the same true heart. With regard to a former wife—'she was the nearest and dearest to him'—she would say, 'how then can I do otherwise than love and cherish her memory?' Andherchildren she received as a precious legacy; they were to her from the first moment like her own; neither she nor they knew any distinction."
Since writing the above, we have seen a poem, entitled "Love's Last Wish," addressed to her husband, by Mrs. Judson when she thought herself near death, which expresses so beautifully the sentiment we have here attributed to her, that, did our limits permit, we would copy the whole. We can only give an extract.
"Thou say'st I'm fading day by day,And in thy face I read thy fears;It would be hard to pass awaySo soon, and leave thee to thy tears.I hoped to linger by thy side,Until thy homeward call was given,Then silent to my pillow glide,And wake upon thy breast in heaven."I do not ask to be forgot;I've read thy heart in every line,And know that there one sacred spot,Whate'er betide, will still be mine,For death but lays its mystic spellUpon affection's earthliness,—I know that, though thou lov'st me well,Thou lov'st thy sainted none the less.And when at last we meet above,Where marriage vows are never spoken,We all shall form one chain of love,Whose spirit-links can ne'er be broken."
"Thou say'st I'm fading day by day,And in thy face I read thy fears;It would be hard to pass awaySo soon, and leave thee to thy tears.I hoped to linger by thy side,Until thy homeward call was given,Then silent to my pillow glide,And wake upon thy breast in heaven.
"I do not ask to be forgot;I've read thy heart in every line,And know that there one sacred spot,Whate'er betide, will still be mine,For death but lays its mystic spellUpon affection's earthliness,—I know that, though thou lov'st me well,Thou lov'st thy sainted none the less.
And when at last we meet above,Where marriage vows are never spoken,We all shall form one chain of love,Whose spirit-links can ne'er be broken."
Of Mrs. Judson's happiness in her married and missionary life, we feel bound to say a few words, because the tone of some articles, written since her death, would lead to the impression that, so far from having had any enjoyment as a wife, a mother, and a missionary, she had sacrificed not only all her literary aspirations, but her whole earthly happiness to her desire to benefit the heathen. Thus one widely circulated article speaks of her mission-life as a "slow martyrdom of sacrifices and sorrows;" * * * as "filled with bitterness,"—speaks, too, of the agony wrung out of her heart by suspense in regard to her husband's fate, expressed in that exquisite piece to her mother, (page 334,) as "one hour of theyears she sufferedin Burmah." That the life of any faithful missionary is one of exile, toil, and privation, we are not disposed to deny. The world knows it too well; and seeing that such toils are uncheered by the acquisition of fame or wealth—the only reward it can appreciate—the world considers the life of the missionary a living death, endured like martyrdom, only for the sake of its crown in the life to come. But not in this light was their life considered by the noble three whose history we have sketched in this volume, nor by Dr. Judson. The elevated sources of happiness opened even in this world to those who literally obey the command to forsake all for Christ, cast far into the shade all merely selfish enjoyment; while the pure domestic affections, and the bliss resulting from them, are as much the portion of the missionary, as of his favored brethren at home. Who can read the letters of Dr. Judson, in Dr. Wayland's memoir of him, or the exquisite letters of his widow found in this volume, without the conviction that the latter years of her life, privileged as they were with the high companionship of one so gifted and so dear as was her husband, and in the midst of social and domestic duties that brought their own exceeding great reward, were, of all her years, the richest and the happiest!