CHAPTER IV.THE ENGLISH BASEMENT HOUSE.A THOUSAND dollars in cash was more than I had ever before possessed at one time. I felt like a rich man, for the shadow of the six hundred dollars which I owed did not offensively obtrude itself upon me. I could hardly conceal my exhilaration from Lilian, but I was so intent upon giving her a grand surprise that I kept the great secret, and preserved a forced calmness. I had made very careful estimates of the cost of living in my new palace—I thought they were very careful—and I was fully satisfied that I should save one-third of my present expenses.My column of figures, after I had thought of every possible expense that could be incurred in the course of the week, footed up at a trifle over twenty dollars a week, but I was entirely convinced that I should bring the actual below the estimated expense. From the first of July my salary was to be two thousand a year, or about thirty-eight dollars and a half a week. I couldtherefore let my expenses go up to twenty-five dollars a week without upsetting the argument.Then I allowed three hundred a year for clothing my wife and myself, and for incidental expenses. In our beautiful home we should not care to ride and go to concerts and theatres much, and both of us were well supplied with clothing. I deemed the sum appropriated as amply sufficient. At this rate I could pay off my debts in a year and a half, and be square with the world. Until this was done, I intended to hold myself to a most rigid economy. I must even contrive some way to let Lilian know that I could not spend money so freely as I had done, but I could promise her that, when my debts were paid, she should have every thing she wanted.I was perfectly satisfied. My prudential calculations set me all right with myself and with the rest of mankind. The vision of the English basement house, all finished and furnished, with Lilian sitting in state in the little boudoir of a parlor, was my castle in the air for the present. I was very cheerful and light hearted, and went to my daily duties at the bank with an alacrity I had never before felt. I told Lilian I should not beat home to dinner that day. When she wanted to know why, I said something about bank commissioners, and was afraid I should be detained until a late hour. She kissed me as usual when I left her, and even “dear ma” looked so very amiable, that I was afraid she would kiss me too. But she did not, and my heart smote me as I thought of the treason I was meditating against her and the two unmarried daughters.I ought to say here, in justice to myself, that these two sisters of my wife were a heavy burden upon me, independently of the thirty dollars a week I paid for my board; for if Lilian and I proposed to go to a concert, to the theatre or the opera, it was somehow contrived that one or both of them should join the party. My wife reasoned that a carriage would cost no more for four than for two, and the paltry expense of the tickets was all the additional outlay I incurred, while it wassucha pleasure for the sisters to go. Then I could just as well purchase three pairs of white kids as one—Mrs. Oliphant would pay me for them. I must do her the justice to say that she always offered to do so, but, as it was “all in the family,” I was too magnificent to stoop to such trifles; and I know that she would have consideredme mean if I had accepted the paltry dollars. I went to the bank with the thousand dollars in my pocket. I intended to devote the afternoon to selecting the furniture for my new house. My friend Buckleton was in the furniture business. He would not only keep my secret, but he would give me a bargain on his wares; and what was better, if I came a little short he would trust me. The thousand dollars’ worth of goods in my house was so much real property, the possession of which would add to my credit, and was available as security, if occasion required.Shaytop’s Little Bill.The bank closed, and after I had settled my cash, I decided to take a little lunch at Parker’s before I went to Buckleton’s store. I was going out of the bank when that confounded Shaytop, the stable man, presented himself before me like the ghost of a faded joy. He had the impudence to thrust his little bill, which amounted to only sixty odd dollars, in mysunny face. Humph! sixty dollars was nothing to me in my present frame of mind. I didn’t “cotton” to any such sum as that, and Mr. Bristlebach, the president of the bank, who was reputed to be worth a million, could not have looked more magnificent than I did, if he had tried.“Mr. Glasswood, I am getting rather tired of calling on you about my bill,” Shaytop began, in the most uncompromising manner.“Do I owe you anything, Mr. Shaytop?” I inquired, very loftily.“Do you owe me anything!” exclaimed the fellow, opening his eyes wide enough to catch a vision of the prophetic future. “I reckon you do.”“Is it possible? I declare, I had quite forgotten the circumstance.”“Forgotten it! I’ll bet you didn’t! I think I have taken pains enough to keep you informed of it.”“Don’t be rude, Mr. Shaytop. I don’t permit any man to dun me.”“Don’t you? Well, by George, you have made an exception in my favor. Haven’t I been to see you once a week for the last three months?”“I don’t remember,” I replied, vacantly.“Look here, my gay bird, you can’t tom-fool me any longer. I’m going to have my money, or break something,” he added, with an energetic gesture.“Certainly, my dear sir, if I owe you anything, I shall pay it with greater pleasure than you will receive it.”“I’ll bet you won’t! I want to see Mr. Bristlebach. I don’t think he likes to have his clerks run up bills for teams, and not pay for them.”“All right; you can see Mr. Bristlebach, if you wish. He is in the director’s room. Shall I introduce you to him?”“I want to see him if you are not going to pay me.”“Haven’t I told you that I should take great pleasure in paying you, if I owe you anything. It had slipped my mind that I owed you’ a bill, though now it comes to me that there is a small balance due you.”“A small balance! You owe me sixty-two dollars!”“Well, I call that a small balance. In the bank we deal in big figures. How long have I owed you sixty-two dollars, Mr. Shaytop?”“About six months.”“Exactly so! Have you added interest?”“No. I shall be glad enough to get the bill, without saying anything about the interest.”“If I forgot this little matter, it is not right that you should lose anything by my neglect. Add the interest to your bill, and I will pay it.”“That’s what you said every time I asked you for the money—all but the interest.”“I’m going up to Parker’s for a lunch now. If you will call there in half an hour, I will pay you the bill and the interest,” I continued, glancing at the clock in the bank.“If you mean so, I’ll be there.”“Don’t insult me, Mr. Shaytop.”“I’ll be there, and if you are not there, I’ll take the next best step.”He turned on his heel, and left me. It was painfully impressed upon my mind that I must pay that bill, and thus diminish the resources for furnishing the house. But I was something of a philosopher, and I argued that paying this demand would not increase the sum total of my indebtedness; it would only transfer it to the account of the furniture. This thought suggested a new train of ideas. My tailor was bothering me about a little bill I owed him; Uncle Halliard would be asking me again if I did not owe him three hundreddollars; and Tom Flynn would hint that he was short. Why could I not improve my credit by paying off all these debts, and “running my face” for the furniture? It was worthy of consideration as a piece of financial policy.I went to Parker’s, and ordered “a little lunch” which cost me a dollar and a half. Before I had finished it, Shaytop made his appearance. I never saw a fellow look more doubtful than he did. He evidently believed that he had come on a fool’s errand. Since I could not well avoid paying the bill, I was to have the pleasure of dissolving this illusion in his mind.“Sit down, Mr. Shaytop,” I began politely, pointing to the chair opposite my own at the table.“I haven’t much time to spare,” he replied, glancing at the viands before me, perhaps with the ill-natured reflection that this was the way the money went which ought to be used in paying his bill.“Won’t you have something to eat, Mr. Shaytop; or something to drink, if you please?”“No, I thank you; I’ve been to dinner, and I never drink anything.”“Happy to have you eat or drink with me,” I added, coolly.“I’m in a hurry, Mr. Glasswood.”“Are you? Well, I’m sorry for that. We don’t live out more than half of our lives on account of always being in a hurry. By the way it seems to me very strange I forgot that little bill of yours. One hundred and sixty-two dollars, I think you said it was?”“Sixty-two dollars, I said,” he answered as if congratulating himself that it was not the sum I named.He took the bill from his pocket, and laid it on the table before me.“Good!” said I, glancing at the document. “I’m a hundred dollars in. I was thinking you said it was a hundred and sixty-two.”I intimated to the waiter that he might bring me a Charlotte Russe, and he removed the dishes from the table.“I don’t like to hurry you, Mr. Glasswood, but I ought to be at the stable.”“O, you are in a hurry! I had quite forgotten that you said so. Well, I will not keep you waiting,” I replied drawing myporte-monnaiefrom my pocket.His eyes glistened, and I think he had a hope by this time. I glanced at the bill again.“You haven’t added the interest,” I continued.“Never mind the interest.”“But I am very willing to pay it.”“Well, you add it. You can figure as fast again as I can.“Sixty-three, eighty-six,” I replied. “Receipt the bill, Mr. Shaytop.”He went over to the cashier’s desk and performed this pleasing operation. I think the act gave him an additional hope of receiving his money.“Perhaps you had just as lief take my due bill for six months for this amount, now that we have added the interest?” I suggested.“No, I’ll be hanged if I had!” retorted he, very sharply. “Have you brought me up here, and wasted an hour of my time, to give me your note, which isn’t worth the paper you will write it on?”“You are impudent, Mr. Shaytop.”“Perhaps I am, but—”“Never mind; if you don’t want the note, you can have the money. It don’t make much difference to me, though it would be more convenient to pay the bill at another time than now. There isn’t the least need of making use of any strong language.”“Pay me, and I won’t use any, then.”I opened myporte-monnaieand took therefrom the roll of bills I had received from Aunt Rachel. A five hundred dollar bill was on the top, and the balance of the pile was in hundreds and fifties. I ran through the bills with professional dexterity, so that he could see the quality of them.“I can’t make the change, Mr. Shaytop,” I replied, with cool indifference.I glanced at him. I went up in that man’s estimation from zero to summer heat. He would have trusted me for a span every day in the week for six months. I took out a hundred dollar bill and tossed it over to him. As I suspected, he could not give me the change. He went to the counter and procured smaller bills for it, and gave me the sum coming to me. He had ceased to be in a hurry.“If you want any more teams, Mr. Glasswood, I think I can fit you out as well as any other stable in the city,” said he, after he had put his wallet back into his pocket.“I don’t,” I replied, curtly.“Don’t you ride any now?”“Yes, just as much as ever; but you see, Mr. Shaytop, I don’t like to be bothered with these small accounts, and to deal with men who thinkso much of little things,” I answered, magnificently. “You have threatened to speak to Mr. Bristlebach, which you are quite welcome to do; and you intimate that my note is not worth the paper on which it is written.“I hope you will excuse me for what I said, but I was a little vexed” pleaded he. “I was mistaken in you. The fact of it is, I lost two or three bills—”“You haven’t lost anything by me, and I don’t intend you shall,” I interposed.I finished my “little lunch,” rose from the table, and having paid my bill, left the house. Shaytop followed me. He wanted my trade, now that he had seen the inside of my pocket-book. But I shook him off as soon as I desired to do so, and hastened to the store of Buckleton. Confidentially I stated my plan to him, and he was willing to be my bosom friend. In the course of the interview I opened myporte-monnaie, and contrived that he should see the figures on the bank bills it contained. It was surprising how those figures opened his heart.When I suggested that I was making a large outlay, he volunteered to trust me to any extent I desired. He was kind enough to go with meto the carpet store, and assist me in the selection of the goods I wanted. I insisted upon paying two hundred dollars on account, which made the carpet people astonishingly good-natured to me; and I was taken aback when they offered to give me credit. Buckleton then went with me to the kitchen furnishing store, and his advice helped me very much as I wandered through the long lists of articles. I made the selection and paid the bill.When we returned to the furniture store, I warmed toward him, and finally prevailed on him to accept two hundred dollars towards the bill I bought of him. He gave me a receipt. When we footed up the prices of the goods I had selected, I was rather startled to find they amounted to nearly eight hundred dollars.“I can’t afford that!” I protested, “I must go over it again, and take some cheaper articles.”“It don’t pay to buy cheap furniture, Glasswood,” replied my friend. “You have been very moderate in your selections.”He overcame my scruples by declaring that I need not pay for the goods till it suited my own convenience. I left him and went back to the bank to count my funds. I had only four hundredand seventy dollars left. I could not pay off the six hundred of old debts now; so I left the matter open for further consideration.The carpet people went to work immediately, and in a week all the rooms were ready for the furniture. Buckleton was so obliging as to go to the house himself and arrange the chairs, tables, bedsteads and other articles. The kitchen furniture was all put in the closets, hung up on the walls, or otherwise disposed of, so that the place looked like an occupied home. I had sheets, pillow-cases, towels, and other articles made up, and in three weeks the English basement-house looked as cosey as the heart of a bank officer could desire.But fearful inroads had been made upon my exchequer. The carpet people made up a total bill of three hundred and thirty dollars; and when I hinted that I might possibly find it necessary to avail myself of their offer to give me credit, they had a note to pay and wanted the cash. I was too magnificent to haggle. I settled their bill—and cursed them in my heart. When I had paid everything except the six hundred I owed Buckleton, I had only ninety dollars in my pocket.I was alarmed. A cold sweat stood on myforehead as I added up the items and found that I was twelve hundred dollars in debt. The situation worried me for a few days, but I soon became accustomed to it. I consoled myself with the hope that the bank would raise my salary, though I could pay off the debts with my present income in three years. It would all come out right in the end, and it was useless to worry about the matter.I didn’t worry long. The English basement house, all furnished, new and elegant, with a Biddy in the kitchen, was a joy which could not be ignored. If it had cost me nearly fifteen hundred dollars to furnish the house, I had that amount of property on hand, and my debts were really no more than before. The house was ready for my wife, and I proposed to her, one afternoon, when all was ready, to take a walk with me.
CHAPTER IV.THE ENGLISH BASEMENT HOUSE.A THOUSAND dollars in cash was more than I had ever before possessed at one time. I felt like a rich man, for the shadow of the six hundred dollars which I owed did not offensively obtrude itself upon me. I could hardly conceal my exhilaration from Lilian, but I was so intent upon giving her a grand surprise that I kept the great secret, and preserved a forced calmness. I had made very careful estimates of the cost of living in my new palace—I thought they were very careful—and I was fully satisfied that I should save one-third of my present expenses.My column of figures, after I had thought of every possible expense that could be incurred in the course of the week, footed up at a trifle over twenty dollars a week, but I was entirely convinced that I should bring the actual below the estimated expense. From the first of July my salary was to be two thousand a year, or about thirty-eight dollars and a half a week. I couldtherefore let my expenses go up to twenty-five dollars a week without upsetting the argument.Then I allowed three hundred a year for clothing my wife and myself, and for incidental expenses. In our beautiful home we should not care to ride and go to concerts and theatres much, and both of us were well supplied with clothing. I deemed the sum appropriated as amply sufficient. At this rate I could pay off my debts in a year and a half, and be square with the world. Until this was done, I intended to hold myself to a most rigid economy. I must even contrive some way to let Lilian know that I could not spend money so freely as I had done, but I could promise her that, when my debts were paid, she should have every thing she wanted.I was perfectly satisfied. My prudential calculations set me all right with myself and with the rest of mankind. The vision of the English basement house, all finished and furnished, with Lilian sitting in state in the little boudoir of a parlor, was my castle in the air for the present. I was very cheerful and light hearted, and went to my daily duties at the bank with an alacrity I had never before felt. I told Lilian I should not beat home to dinner that day. When she wanted to know why, I said something about bank commissioners, and was afraid I should be detained until a late hour. She kissed me as usual when I left her, and even “dear ma” looked so very amiable, that I was afraid she would kiss me too. But she did not, and my heart smote me as I thought of the treason I was meditating against her and the two unmarried daughters.I ought to say here, in justice to myself, that these two sisters of my wife were a heavy burden upon me, independently of the thirty dollars a week I paid for my board; for if Lilian and I proposed to go to a concert, to the theatre or the opera, it was somehow contrived that one or both of them should join the party. My wife reasoned that a carriage would cost no more for four than for two, and the paltry expense of the tickets was all the additional outlay I incurred, while it wassucha pleasure for the sisters to go. Then I could just as well purchase three pairs of white kids as one—Mrs. Oliphant would pay me for them. I must do her the justice to say that she always offered to do so, but, as it was “all in the family,” I was too magnificent to stoop to such trifles; and I know that she would have consideredme mean if I had accepted the paltry dollars. I went to the bank with the thousand dollars in my pocket. I intended to devote the afternoon to selecting the furniture for my new house. My friend Buckleton was in the furniture business. He would not only keep my secret, but he would give me a bargain on his wares; and what was better, if I came a little short he would trust me. The thousand dollars’ worth of goods in my house was so much real property, the possession of which would add to my credit, and was available as security, if occasion required.Shaytop’s Little Bill.The bank closed, and after I had settled my cash, I decided to take a little lunch at Parker’s before I went to Buckleton’s store. I was going out of the bank when that confounded Shaytop, the stable man, presented himself before me like the ghost of a faded joy. He had the impudence to thrust his little bill, which amounted to only sixty odd dollars, in mysunny face. Humph! sixty dollars was nothing to me in my present frame of mind. I didn’t “cotton” to any such sum as that, and Mr. Bristlebach, the president of the bank, who was reputed to be worth a million, could not have looked more magnificent than I did, if he had tried.“Mr. Glasswood, I am getting rather tired of calling on you about my bill,” Shaytop began, in the most uncompromising manner.“Do I owe you anything, Mr. Shaytop?” I inquired, very loftily.“Do you owe me anything!” exclaimed the fellow, opening his eyes wide enough to catch a vision of the prophetic future. “I reckon you do.”“Is it possible? I declare, I had quite forgotten the circumstance.”“Forgotten it! I’ll bet you didn’t! I think I have taken pains enough to keep you informed of it.”“Don’t be rude, Mr. Shaytop. I don’t permit any man to dun me.”“Don’t you? Well, by George, you have made an exception in my favor. Haven’t I been to see you once a week for the last three months?”“I don’t remember,” I replied, vacantly.“Look here, my gay bird, you can’t tom-fool me any longer. I’m going to have my money, or break something,” he added, with an energetic gesture.“Certainly, my dear sir, if I owe you anything, I shall pay it with greater pleasure than you will receive it.”“I’ll bet you won’t! I want to see Mr. Bristlebach. I don’t think he likes to have his clerks run up bills for teams, and not pay for them.”“All right; you can see Mr. Bristlebach, if you wish. He is in the director’s room. Shall I introduce you to him?”“I want to see him if you are not going to pay me.”“Haven’t I told you that I should take great pleasure in paying you, if I owe you anything. It had slipped my mind that I owed you’ a bill, though now it comes to me that there is a small balance due you.”“A small balance! You owe me sixty-two dollars!”“Well, I call that a small balance. In the bank we deal in big figures. How long have I owed you sixty-two dollars, Mr. Shaytop?”“About six months.”“Exactly so! Have you added interest?”“No. I shall be glad enough to get the bill, without saying anything about the interest.”“If I forgot this little matter, it is not right that you should lose anything by my neglect. Add the interest to your bill, and I will pay it.”“That’s what you said every time I asked you for the money—all but the interest.”“I’m going up to Parker’s for a lunch now. If you will call there in half an hour, I will pay you the bill and the interest,” I continued, glancing at the clock in the bank.“If you mean so, I’ll be there.”“Don’t insult me, Mr. Shaytop.”“I’ll be there, and if you are not there, I’ll take the next best step.”He turned on his heel, and left me. It was painfully impressed upon my mind that I must pay that bill, and thus diminish the resources for furnishing the house. But I was something of a philosopher, and I argued that paying this demand would not increase the sum total of my indebtedness; it would only transfer it to the account of the furniture. This thought suggested a new train of ideas. My tailor was bothering me about a little bill I owed him; Uncle Halliard would be asking me again if I did not owe him three hundreddollars; and Tom Flynn would hint that he was short. Why could I not improve my credit by paying off all these debts, and “running my face” for the furniture? It was worthy of consideration as a piece of financial policy.I went to Parker’s, and ordered “a little lunch” which cost me a dollar and a half. Before I had finished it, Shaytop made his appearance. I never saw a fellow look more doubtful than he did. He evidently believed that he had come on a fool’s errand. Since I could not well avoid paying the bill, I was to have the pleasure of dissolving this illusion in his mind.“Sit down, Mr. Shaytop,” I began politely, pointing to the chair opposite my own at the table.“I haven’t much time to spare,” he replied, glancing at the viands before me, perhaps with the ill-natured reflection that this was the way the money went which ought to be used in paying his bill.“Won’t you have something to eat, Mr. Shaytop; or something to drink, if you please?”“No, I thank you; I’ve been to dinner, and I never drink anything.”“Happy to have you eat or drink with me,” I added, coolly.“I’m in a hurry, Mr. Glasswood.”“Are you? Well, I’m sorry for that. We don’t live out more than half of our lives on account of always being in a hurry. By the way it seems to me very strange I forgot that little bill of yours. One hundred and sixty-two dollars, I think you said it was?”“Sixty-two dollars, I said,” he answered as if congratulating himself that it was not the sum I named.He took the bill from his pocket, and laid it on the table before me.“Good!” said I, glancing at the document. “I’m a hundred dollars in. I was thinking you said it was a hundred and sixty-two.”I intimated to the waiter that he might bring me a Charlotte Russe, and he removed the dishes from the table.“I don’t like to hurry you, Mr. Glasswood, but I ought to be at the stable.”“O, you are in a hurry! I had quite forgotten that you said so. Well, I will not keep you waiting,” I replied drawing myporte-monnaiefrom my pocket.His eyes glistened, and I think he had a hope by this time. I glanced at the bill again.“You haven’t added the interest,” I continued.“Never mind the interest.”“But I am very willing to pay it.”“Well, you add it. You can figure as fast again as I can.“Sixty-three, eighty-six,” I replied. “Receipt the bill, Mr. Shaytop.”He went over to the cashier’s desk and performed this pleasing operation. I think the act gave him an additional hope of receiving his money.“Perhaps you had just as lief take my due bill for six months for this amount, now that we have added the interest?” I suggested.“No, I’ll be hanged if I had!” retorted he, very sharply. “Have you brought me up here, and wasted an hour of my time, to give me your note, which isn’t worth the paper you will write it on?”“You are impudent, Mr. Shaytop.”“Perhaps I am, but—”“Never mind; if you don’t want the note, you can have the money. It don’t make much difference to me, though it would be more convenient to pay the bill at another time than now. There isn’t the least need of making use of any strong language.”“Pay me, and I won’t use any, then.”I opened myporte-monnaieand took therefrom the roll of bills I had received from Aunt Rachel. A five hundred dollar bill was on the top, and the balance of the pile was in hundreds and fifties. I ran through the bills with professional dexterity, so that he could see the quality of them.“I can’t make the change, Mr. Shaytop,” I replied, with cool indifference.I glanced at him. I went up in that man’s estimation from zero to summer heat. He would have trusted me for a span every day in the week for six months. I took out a hundred dollar bill and tossed it over to him. As I suspected, he could not give me the change. He went to the counter and procured smaller bills for it, and gave me the sum coming to me. He had ceased to be in a hurry.“If you want any more teams, Mr. Glasswood, I think I can fit you out as well as any other stable in the city,” said he, after he had put his wallet back into his pocket.“I don’t,” I replied, curtly.“Don’t you ride any now?”“Yes, just as much as ever; but you see, Mr. Shaytop, I don’t like to be bothered with these small accounts, and to deal with men who thinkso much of little things,” I answered, magnificently. “You have threatened to speak to Mr. Bristlebach, which you are quite welcome to do; and you intimate that my note is not worth the paper on which it is written.“I hope you will excuse me for what I said, but I was a little vexed” pleaded he. “I was mistaken in you. The fact of it is, I lost two or three bills—”“You haven’t lost anything by me, and I don’t intend you shall,” I interposed.I finished my “little lunch,” rose from the table, and having paid my bill, left the house. Shaytop followed me. He wanted my trade, now that he had seen the inside of my pocket-book. But I shook him off as soon as I desired to do so, and hastened to the store of Buckleton. Confidentially I stated my plan to him, and he was willing to be my bosom friend. In the course of the interview I opened myporte-monnaie, and contrived that he should see the figures on the bank bills it contained. It was surprising how those figures opened his heart.When I suggested that I was making a large outlay, he volunteered to trust me to any extent I desired. He was kind enough to go with meto the carpet store, and assist me in the selection of the goods I wanted. I insisted upon paying two hundred dollars on account, which made the carpet people astonishingly good-natured to me; and I was taken aback when they offered to give me credit. Buckleton then went with me to the kitchen furnishing store, and his advice helped me very much as I wandered through the long lists of articles. I made the selection and paid the bill.When we returned to the furniture store, I warmed toward him, and finally prevailed on him to accept two hundred dollars towards the bill I bought of him. He gave me a receipt. When we footed up the prices of the goods I had selected, I was rather startled to find they amounted to nearly eight hundred dollars.“I can’t afford that!” I protested, “I must go over it again, and take some cheaper articles.”“It don’t pay to buy cheap furniture, Glasswood,” replied my friend. “You have been very moderate in your selections.”He overcame my scruples by declaring that I need not pay for the goods till it suited my own convenience. I left him and went back to the bank to count my funds. I had only four hundredand seventy dollars left. I could not pay off the six hundred of old debts now; so I left the matter open for further consideration.The carpet people went to work immediately, and in a week all the rooms were ready for the furniture. Buckleton was so obliging as to go to the house himself and arrange the chairs, tables, bedsteads and other articles. The kitchen furniture was all put in the closets, hung up on the walls, or otherwise disposed of, so that the place looked like an occupied home. I had sheets, pillow-cases, towels, and other articles made up, and in three weeks the English basement-house looked as cosey as the heart of a bank officer could desire.But fearful inroads had been made upon my exchequer. The carpet people made up a total bill of three hundred and thirty dollars; and when I hinted that I might possibly find it necessary to avail myself of their offer to give me credit, they had a note to pay and wanted the cash. I was too magnificent to haggle. I settled their bill—and cursed them in my heart. When I had paid everything except the six hundred I owed Buckleton, I had only ninety dollars in my pocket.I was alarmed. A cold sweat stood on myforehead as I added up the items and found that I was twelve hundred dollars in debt. The situation worried me for a few days, but I soon became accustomed to it. I consoled myself with the hope that the bank would raise my salary, though I could pay off the debts with my present income in three years. It would all come out right in the end, and it was useless to worry about the matter.I didn’t worry long. The English basement house, all furnished, new and elegant, with a Biddy in the kitchen, was a joy which could not be ignored. If it had cost me nearly fifteen hundred dollars to furnish the house, I had that amount of property on hand, and my debts were really no more than before. The house was ready for my wife, and I proposed to her, one afternoon, when all was ready, to take a walk with me.
THE ENGLISH BASEMENT HOUSE.
A THOUSAND dollars in cash was more than I had ever before possessed at one time. I felt like a rich man, for the shadow of the six hundred dollars which I owed did not offensively obtrude itself upon me. I could hardly conceal my exhilaration from Lilian, but I was so intent upon giving her a grand surprise that I kept the great secret, and preserved a forced calmness. I had made very careful estimates of the cost of living in my new palace—I thought they were very careful—and I was fully satisfied that I should save one-third of my present expenses.
My column of figures, after I had thought of every possible expense that could be incurred in the course of the week, footed up at a trifle over twenty dollars a week, but I was entirely convinced that I should bring the actual below the estimated expense. From the first of July my salary was to be two thousand a year, or about thirty-eight dollars and a half a week. I couldtherefore let my expenses go up to twenty-five dollars a week without upsetting the argument.
Then I allowed three hundred a year for clothing my wife and myself, and for incidental expenses. In our beautiful home we should not care to ride and go to concerts and theatres much, and both of us were well supplied with clothing. I deemed the sum appropriated as amply sufficient. At this rate I could pay off my debts in a year and a half, and be square with the world. Until this was done, I intended to hold myself to a most rigid economy. I must even contrive some way to let Lilian know that I could not spend money so freely as I had done, but I could promise her that, when my debts were paid, she should have every thing she wanted.
I was perfectly satisfied. My prudential calculations set me all right with myself and with the rest of mankind. The vision of the English basement house, all finished and furnished, with Lilian sitting in state in the little boudoir of a parlor, was my castle in the air for the present. I was very cheerful and light hearted, and went to my daily duties at the bank with an alacrity I had never before felt. I told Lilian I should not beat home to dinner that day. When she wanted to know why, I said something about bank commissioners, and was afraid I should be detained until a late hour. She kissed me as usual when I left her, and even “dear ma” looked so very amiable, that I was afraid she would kiss me too. But she did not, and my heart smote me as I thought of the treason I was meditating against her and the two unmarried daughters.
I ought to say here, in justice to myself, that these two sisters of my wife were a heavy burden upon me, independently of the thirty dollars a week I paid for my board; for if Lilian and I proposed to go to a concert, to the theatre or the opera, it was somehow contrived that one or both of them should join the party. My wife reasoned that a carriage would cost no more for four than for two, and the paltry expense of the tickets was all the additional outlay I incurred, while it wassucha pleasure for the sisters to go. Then I could just as well purchase three pairs of white kids as one—Mrs. Oliphant would pay me for them. I must do her the justice to say that she always offered to do so, but, as it was “all in the family,” I was too magnificent to stoop to such trifles; and I know that she would have consideredme mean if I had accepted the paltry dollars. I went to the bank with the thousand dollars in my pocket. I intended to devote the afternoon to selecting the furniture for my new house. My friend Buckleton was in the furniture business. He would not only keep my secret, but he would give me a bargain on his wares; and what was better, if I came a little short he would trust me. The thousand dollars’ worth of goods in my house was so much real property, the possession of which would add to my credit, and was available as security, if occasion required.
Shaytop’s Little Bill.
Shaytop’s Little Bill.
Shaytop’s Little Bill.
The bank closed, and after I had settled my cash, I decided to take a little lunch at Parker’s before I went to Buckleton’s store. I was going out of the bank when that confounded Shaytop, the stable man, presented himself before me like the ghost of a faded joy. He had the impudence to thrust his little bill, which amounted to only sixty odd dollars, in mysunny face. Humph! sixty dollars was nothing to me in my present frame of mind. I didn’t “cotton” to any such sum as that, and Mr. Bristlebach, the president of the bank, who was reputed to be worth a million, could not have looked more magnificent than I did, if he had tried.
“Mr. Glasswood, I am getting rather tired of calling on you about my bill,” Shaytop began, in the most uncompromising manner.
“Do I owe you anything, Mr. Shaytop?” I inquired, very loftily.
“Do you owe me anything!” exclaimed the fellow, opening his eyes wide enough to catch a vision of the prophetic future. “I reckon you do.”
“Is it possible? I declare, I had quite forgotten the circumstance.”
“Forgotten it! I’ll bet you didn’t! I think I have taken pains enough to keep you informed of it.”
“Don’t be rude, Mr. Shaytop. I don’t permit any man to dun me.”
“Don’t you? Well, by George, you have made an exception in my favor. Haven’t I been to see you once a week for the last three months?”
“I don’t remember,” I replied, vacantly.
“Look here, my gay bird, you can’t tom-fool me any longer. I’m going to have my money, or break something,” he added, with an energetic gesture.
“Certainly, my dear sir, if I owe you anything, I shall pay it with greater pleasure than you will receive it.”
“I’ll bet you won’t! I want to see Mr. Bristlebach. I don’t think he likes to have his clerks run up bills for teams, and not pay for them.”
“All right; you can see Mr. Bristlebach, if you wish. He is in the director’s room. Shall I introduce you to him?”
“I want to see him if you are not going to pay me.”
“Haven’t I told you that I should take great pleasure in paying you, if I owe you anything. It had slipped my mind that I owed you’ a bill, though now it comes to me that there is a small balance due you.”
“A small balance! You owe me sixty-two dollars!”
“Well, I call that a small balance. In the bank we deal in big figures. How long have I owed you sixty-two dollars, Mr. Shaytop?”
“About six months.”
“Exactly so! Have you added interest?”
“No. I shall be glad enough to get the bill, without saying anything about the interest.”
“If I forgot this little matter, it is not right that you should lose anything by my neglect. Add the interest to your bill, and I will pay it.”
“That’s what you said every time I asked you for the money—all but the interest.”
“I’m going up to Parker’s for a lunch now. If you will call there in half an hour, I will pay you the bill and the interest,” I continued, glancing at the clock in the bank.
“If you mean so, I’ll be there.”
“Don’t insult me, Mr. Shaytop.”
“I’ll be there, and if you are not there, I’ll take the next best step.”
He turned on his heel, and left me. It was painfully impressed upon my mind that I must pay that bill, and thus diminish the resources for furnishing the house. But I was something of a philosopher, and I argued that paying this demand would not increase the sum total of my indebtedness; it would only transfer it to the account of the furniture. This thought suggested a new train of ideas. My tailor was bothering me about a little bill I owed him; Uncle Halliard would be asking me again if I did not owe him three hundreddollars; and Tom Flynn would hint that he was short. Why could I not improve my credit by paying off all these debts, and “running my face” for the furniture? It was worthy of consideration as a piece of financial policy.
I went to Parker’s, and ordered “a little lunch” which cost me a dollar and a half. Before I had finished it, Shaytop made his appearance. I never saw a fellow look more doubtful than he did. He evidently believed that he had come on a fool’s errand. Since I could not well avoid paying the bill, I was to have the pleasure of dissolving this illusion in his mind.
“Sit down, Mr. Shaytop,” I began politely, pointing to the chair opposite my own at the table.
“I haven’t much time to spare,” he replied, glancing at the viands before me, perhaps with the ill-natured reflection that this was the way the money went which ought to be used in paying his bill.
“Won’t you have something to eat, Mr. Shaytop; or something to drink, if you please?”
“No, I thank you; I’ve been to dinner, and I never drink anything.”
“Happy to have you eat or drink with me,” I added, coolly.
“I’m in a hurry, Mr. Glasswood.”
“Are you? Well, I’m sorry for that. We don’t live out more than half of our lives on account of always being in a hurry. By the way it seems to me very strange I forgot that little bill of yours. One hundred and sixty-two dollars, I think you said it was?”
“Sixty-two dollars, I said,” he answered as if congratulating himself that it was not the sum I named.
He took the bill from his pocket, and laid it on the table before me.
“Good!” said I, glancing at the document. “I’m a hundred dollars in. I was thinking you said it was a hundred and sixty-two.”
I intimated to the waiter that he might bring me a Charlotte Russe, and he removed the dishes from the table.
“I don’t like to hurry you, Mr. Glasswood, but I ought to be at the stable.”
“O, you are in a hurry! I had quite forgotten that you said so. Well, I will not keep you waiting,” I replied drawing myporte-monnaiefrom my pocket.
His eyes glistened, and I think he had a hope by this time. I glanced at the bill again.
“You haven’t added the interest,” I continued.
“Never mind the interest.”
“But I am very willing to pay it.”
“Well, you add it. You can figure as fast again as I can.
“Sixty-three, eighty-six,” I replied. “Receipt the bill, Mr. Shaytop.”
He went over to the cashier’s desk and performed this pleasing operation. I think the act gave him an additional hope of receiving his money.
“Perhaps you had just as lief take my due bill for six months for this amount, now that we have added the interest?” I suggested.
“No, I’ll be hanged if I had!” retorted he, very sharply. “Have you brought me up here, and wasted an hour of my time, to give me your note, which isn’t worth the paper you will write it on?”
“You are impudent, Mr. Shaytop.”
“Perhaps I am, but—”
“Never mind; if you don’t want the note, you can have the money. It don’t make much difference to me, though it would be more convenient to pay the bill at another time than now. There isn’t the least need of making use of any strong language.”
“Pay me, and I won’t use any, then.”
I opened myporte-monnaieand took therefrom the roll of bills I had received from Aunt Rachel. A five hundred dollar bill was on the top, and the balance of the pile was in hundreds and fifties. I ran through the bills with professional dexterity, so that he could see the quality of them.
“I can’t make the change, Mr. Shaytop,” I replied, with cool indifference.
I glanced at him. I went up in that man’s estimation from zero to summer heat. He would have trusted me for a span every day in the week for six months. I took out a hundred dollar bill and tossed it over to him. As I suspected, he could not give me the change. He went to the counter and procured smaller bills for it, and gave me the sum coming to me. He had ceased to be in a hurry.
“If you want any more teams, Mr. Glasswood, I think I can fit you out as well as any other stable in the city,” said he, after he had put his wallet back into his pocket.
“I don’t,” I replied, curtly.
“Don’t you ride any now?”
“Yes, just as much as ever; but you see, Mr. Shaytop, I don’t like to be bothered with these small accounts, and to deal with men who thinkso much of little things,” I answered, magnificently. “You have threatened to speak to Mr. Bristlebach, which you are quite welcome to do; and you intimate that my note is not worth the paper on which it is written.
“I hope you will excuse me for what I said, but I was a little vexed” pleaded he. “I was mistaken in you. The fact of it is, I lost two or three bills—”
“You haven’t lost anything by me, and I don’t intend you shall,” I interposed.
I finished my “little lunch,” rose from the table, and having paid my bill, left the house. Shaytop followed me. He wanted my trade, now that he had seen the inside of my pocket-book. But I shook him off as soon as I desired to do so, and hastened to the store of Buckleton. Confidentially I stated my plan to him, and he was willing to be my bosom friend. In the course of the interview I opened myporte-monnaie, and contrived that he should see the figures on the bank bills it contained. It was surprising how those figures opened his heart.
When I suggested that I was making a large outlay, he volunteered to trust me to any extent I desired. He was kind enough to go with meto the carpet store, and assist me in the selection of the goods I wanted. I insisted upon paying two hundred dollars on account, which made the carpet people astonishingly good-natured to me; and I was taken aback when they offered to give me credit. Buckleton then went with me to the kitchen furnishing store, and his advice helped me very much as I wandered through the long lists of articles. I made the selection and paid the bill.
When we returned to the furniture store, I warmed toward him, and finally prevailed on him to accept two hundred dollars towards the bill I bought of him. He gave me a receipt. When we footed up the prices of the goods I had selected, I was rather startled to find they amounted to nearly eight hundred dollars.
“I can’t afford that!” I protested, “I must go over it again, and take some cheaper articles.”
“It don’t pay to buy cheap furniture, Glasswood,” replied my friend. “You have been very moderate in your selections.”
He overcame my scruples by declaring that I need not pay for the goods till it suited my own convenience. I left him and went back to the bank to count my funds. I had only four hundredand seventy dollars left. I could not pay off the six hundred of old debts now; so I left the matter open for further consideration.
The carpet people went to work immediately, and in a week all the rooms were ready for the furniture. Buckleton was so obliging as to go to the house himself and arrange the chairs, tables, bedsteads and other articles. The kitchen furniture was all put in the closets, hung up on the walls, or otherwise disposed of, so that the place looked like an occupied home. I had sheets, pillow-cases, towels, and other articles made up, and in three weeks the English basement-house looked as cosey as the heart of a bank officer could desire.
But fearful inroads had been made upon my exchequer. The carpet people made up a total bill of three hundred and thirty dollars; and when I hinted that I might possibly find it necessary to avail myself of their offer to give me credit, they had a note to pay and wanted the cash. I was too magnificent to haggle. I settled their bill—and cursed them in my heart. When I had paid everything except the six hundred I owed Buckleton, I had only ninety dollars in my pocket.
I was alarmed. A cold sweat stood on myforehead as I added up the items and found that I was twelve hundred dollars in debt. The situation worried me for a few days, but I soon became accustomed to it. I consoled myself with the hope that the bank would raise my salary, though I could pay off the debts with my present income in three years. It would all come out right in the end, and it was useless to worry about the matter.
I didn’t worry long. The English basement house, all furnished, new and elegant, with a Biddy in the kitchen, was a joy which could not be ignored. If it had cost me nearly fifteen hundred dollars to furnish the house, I had that amount of property on hand, and my debts were really no more than before. The house was ready for my wife, and I proposed to her, one afternoon, when all was ready, to take a walk with me.