Use of the third person.
The third person in correspondence is falling considerably into disuse, and “presenting compliments” is almost obsolete. Invitations of a formal kind, and their replies, are couched in the third person, but for purposes of correspondence with strangers it is almost always better to use the first person. The exception is in replying to a letter written in the third person, when it is in better taste to reply in the same way. The third person is also used in writing to tradespeople: “Mr. Edlicott will feel obliged if Mr. Jones will kindly call on Thursday morning with reference to some repairs.” In this case the reply would be written in the first person.
Letters of introduction.
Letters of introduction, says La Fontaine, “are drafts that must be cashed at sight.” They are sometimes difficult to write, especially if they have been asked for, not volunteered. They are always left unsealed, but should there be circumstances about the person introduced which the other party should know, it is well to communicate them in a private letter, which should be despatched so as to arrive before the letter of introduction is presented. Any one receiving a letter of introduction would immediately take steps to show someattention to the individual introduced. The usual thing is to ask him to dinner, if he is a social equal; to offer his services, if he should be a superior; and to ascertain in what way one can be useful to him, if he is an inferior.
A call must precede invitations.
A personal call must precede all invitations. This is a fixed and rigid rule, the exception being in the case of persons presenting their own letters of introduction, as is usually done. But should the person to whom they are addressed be out, the formal call must follow.
Styles of address at the beginning of a letter.
All ladies, from the Queen downwards, are addressed in beginning a letter as “Madam”; all gentlemen, from the highest to the lowest, as “Sir.” Tradesmen, however, begin “Your Royal Highness,” “Your Grace,” or “Your Ladyship,” in writing to their titled employers. They also address their letters quite differently, as will be seen from the following instructions:—
Her Majesty the Queen.
To His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.
To Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales.
This same form is used in addressing communications to all other members of the Royal Family, adding the titlewhere the word “Prince” or “Princess” would be incorrect, as:—
To His Royal Highness the Duke of York.
To Her Royal Highness the Duchess of York.
Below the rank of royalty there is the distinction between letters addressed by persons on an equality with those to whom formal and they write, and by inferiors.
Address for the envelope—formal and informal.
I shall call them formal and informal, and range them in separate lines.
Addressing Privy Councillors.
Members of the Privy Council arealso addressed as “Right Honourable,” in the same way as Peers. In this case the names of commoners are not followed by the abbreviation “Esq.,” as:—
The Right Honourable James Balfour, M.P.
Ambassadors.
Ambassadors and their wives are addressed as “His Excellency,” “Her Excellency,” the personal and official titles following the word, as:—
To His Excellency the Earl of——, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to France.
To Her Excellency the Countess of——.
Other official personages are addressed in the following way:—
To His Excellency Lord Blank, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland.
To His Grace the Archbishop of——.
The Right Reverend the Bishop of——.
The Very Reverend the Dean of——.
Degrees.
Academical distinctions are indicated by the initials placed after the name—LL.D. for Doctor of Laws and Learning, D.D. for Doctor of Divinity and so on.
Beginning the letter.
So much for the envelopes. The proper way to begin letters is as follows. As I have mentioned, the Queen is addressed as “Madam” in the inside of a letter. A gentleman writing
To the Queen.
to the Queen would sign himself, “I have the honour to submit myself, with profound respect, Your Majesty’s most devoted subject and servant.” Above the word “Madam” should be written “Her Majesty the Queen.” Lord Beaconsfield struck out a line of his own and in writing to the Queen began, “Mr. Disraeli,” continuing in the third person and addressing Her Majesty in the second.
To the Prince and Princess of Wales.
The Prince of Wales is addressed as “Sir,” above this word being written “To His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.” Persons on intimate terms sometimes begin “Sir” or “Dear Prince,” others “My dear Prince.” The Princess of Wales is occasionally addressed by friends as “My dear Princess.” The two orthodox endings to such letters are respectively “Your Royal Highness’s dutiful and obedient servant,” or (a humbler style) “Your Royal Highness’s dutiful and most obedient servant.” To all other Royal Princes and Princesses the ending would be “Most Humble and Obedient Servant.”
To a Duke and Duchess.
Dukes other than royal are addressed inside letters by intimates as “Dear Duke,” by others “My Lord Duke, may it please your Grace.” In writing to a Duchess her title is placed above the “Madam.” In formal letters Marquises would be addressed as “My Lord Marquis.”
On omitting christian names from courtesy titles.
A very common form of mistake is that of omitting the Christian name from the courtesy titles of the sons and daughters of dukes, marquises, and earls. The sons have the title “Lord” prefixed to the Christian and surname: for instance, “Lord Alfred Osborne,” “Lord Henry Somerset.” It is extremely incorrect to call either of these “Lord Osborne” or “Lord Somerset.” The daughters of dukes, marquises and earls have the title “Lady” before their Christian and surname; “Lady Emily Heneage,” for instance, must not be addressed as “Lady Heneage.” Should she marry a commoner only the surname is altered, the “Lady Emily” remains. This may all appear a little involved to those unaccustomed to titles, but neglect of these forms indicates very clearly a lack ofsavoir faire. It is a source of great annoyance to the owners of courtesy titles to have the Christian name omitted. Anybody, even a knight’s wife, may be a “Lady Smith” or “Jones”; the insertion of the Christian name before the “Smith” or “Jones” means that the possessor is the daughter of a duke, marquis, or earl.
Beginning a letter to the above.
In beginning a letter to any of the above a stranger would say “Dear Lady Mary Smith,” but the usual form would be “Dear Lady Mary.” Inferiors would begin by writing the lady’s title over the word “Madam,” ormerely beginning “Madam” and writing the title at the end of the letter.
To an ambassador with conclusion.
In writing to an ambassador or his wife the title is placed above the word “Sir” or “Madam.” Inferiors would write “May it please your Excellency,” and would conclude with “I have the honour to be Your Excellency’s most humble, obedient servant.”
An archbishop.
In writing to an archbishop a correspondent would begin “Your Grace,” ending, “I remain Your Grace’s most obedient servant.”
A bishop.
To a bishop the form would be, “My Lord,” or “Right Reverend Sir,” or “May it please Your Lordship,” the last being, of course, the humblest form of address. The conclusion would be, I remain, “My Lord” (or “Right Reverend Sir”) “Your most obedient servant.”
A dean.
The beginning of a letter to a dean would be, “Reverend Sir” or “Mr. Dean,” the title of all these dignitaries being, in formal letters, indited above the beginning. Those having slight acquaintance would begin, “Dear Mr. Dean.” Strangers would end the letter, “I have the honour to be Your most obedient servant.”
Doctors of Divinity.
Doctors of divinity are addressed as “Reverend Sir,” as well as archdeacons and all other clergy.
Intimates would begin letters to the above with: “Dear Archbishop,” “Dear Bishop,” “Dear Dean,” or “Dear Doctor.”
Officers in the army.
With the sole exception of lieutenants in the army, all officers have their military rank prefixed to their name. Ensigns and lieutenants are addressed as “Esq.”
And navy.
In the navy admirals of the flag—white, blue, or red—are addressed as “The Honourable,” this being prefixed to the name. Otherwise a letter would begin “Sir,” and end, “I remain, Sir, Your obedient servant.” Commodores, captains, and lieutenants in the navy are all addressed in the same way.
Addressing the Queen in person.
Itis sometimes difficult to know how to address personally people of high rank. The Queen is addressed as “Ma’am” by those immediately surrounding her person and by princesses, duchesses, and others who are on terms that may be described as those of acquaintanceship with her Majesty. All others would speak to her as “Your Majesty.”
The Princess of Wales.
The Princess of Wales and all other princesses are in the same way addressed as “Ma’am,” or “Your Royal Highness,” according to the position of the person speaking to them.
The Prince of Wales and royal dukes.
The Prince of Wales, with all other royal dukes and princes, is addressed as “Sir,” or “Your Royal Highness”; the Duke of Teck as “Your Serene Highness,” as well as many foreign princes. Equals would address all these as “Prince.”
Formal and informal modes of addressing nobility in person.
The following list will show the correct modes of addressing the nobility informally and formally, in conversation, the first being the custom among acquaintances, the latter by all others:—
It is one of the rules of etiquette that, in speaking with royal persons, the inferior leaves it to them to originate subjects of conversation, and never introduces any topic of his own.
Letters of condolence.
Letters of condolence are among the most difficult forms of composition. They are almost equally trying to read and to write. The best rule to be given for these is to make them as brief as possible. If “brevity is the soul of wit,” it is also, in such cases, the very heart of sympathy. A very usual faultcommitted is to begin by dilating upon the shock or grief felt by the writer. The absurdity of this becomes apparent when one compares mentally the shock or grief as felt by the recipient. Two lines conveying the expression of sympathy are better than pages of even the most eloquent composition. Mourners require all their fortitude at times of loss, and anything likely to impair their self-command is the reverse of a kindness.
Memoriam cards.
On hearing or reading of the death of an acquaintance or friend, an expression of sympathy should at once be sent off. It used to be the custom to wait for the memoriam cards sent out by the family, but this, if it was ever the custom in the best society, has now long ceased to be so. Memoriam cards are only used in humble circles. At the same time, one needs to be very careful as to the accuracy of one’s information before sending off a letter of condolence. Similarity of name is apt to lead to awkward mistakes.
The inquiry call.
In this connection it may be as well to remark that about a week after the funeral it is customary to call and leave cards of inquiry. When these are responded to by cards of thanks for inquiries, it is a sign that the family is willing to receive callers.
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