THE THEATER
At the theater it is smart to “roast the show.†Do not be afraid of wounding the feelings of your host and hostess. It is an even chance that they are more bored than you. If the actors seem to object to your conversation or show annoyance or impatience, try to remember that they are not, as a rule, well bred, and are ignorant of all the graceful little social conventions.
On leaving the opera with ladies, do not go into the draughty side corridors with them, or you will surely be forced to look out for their carriage, a tedious and bothersomeoccupation. The wisest thing to do is to say that you have an appointment, and merge yourself with the rabble who are leaving by the front door, allowing the ladies to remain in the side corridors, where their footmen will sooner or later discover them.
Never give a theater party in stalls. Boxes are obligatory. In seats, the men cannot go out for refreshment, and the ladies are forced to remove their hats, a tragedy usually accompanied by the most distressing and ignominious disclosures.
Ladies who have opera boxes given them at the last moment should “get on the job†at once and offer it to such of their friends as they know to be either out of townor engaged for that evening. A box has been known, under such circumstances, to pay off a dozen obligations in a single day.
In New York a theater party is often a very boring and tedious form of revelry. It is always wise to send a “feeler†before accepting a lady’s invitation to dine and go to the play. The following is a safe model for such a missive:
My dear Mrs. Vandergraft:How awfully good of you to ask me for Friday. I presume we are dining at your house and not at a stuffy restaurant. May I be very frank and ask you what play you are planning to see? Might I also inquire if you are going in boxes or seats, and if you expect me for supper afterwards?On hearing from you, I hope to beable to arrange the matter to your entire satisfaction.My servant will wait for your reply.Sincerely yours,Reginald Goold.P. S.—How many are coming, and who are they? Are they the noisy sort?P. S. No. 2.—What ladies are to sit beside me at dinner?
My dear Mrs. Vandergraft:
How awfully good of you to ask me for Friday. I presume we are dining at your house and not at a stuffy restaurant. May I be very frank and ask you what play you are planning to see? Might I also inquire if you are going in boxes or seats, and if you expect me for supper afterwards?
On hearing from you, I hope to beable to arrange the matter to your entire satisfaction.
My servant will wait for your reply.
Sincerely yours,
Reginald Goold.
P. S.—How many are coming, and who are they? Are they the noisy sort?
P. S. No. 2.—What ladies are to sit beside me at dinner?