ACT II.[The same place. Nearly a year later. Christmas Eve. The room is decorated with evergreens, &c.TIMBRELLandEDGARdiscovered. They are in jackets and black ties, &c.]TIMBRELL.[SurveyingEDGAR.] Yes, that’s right—black tie—You told Sheila to put on some half and half affair? Not full evening dress, you know. Of course I didn’t like to say anything to Leonard, but his wife’s a sensible girl—in some ways. She’ll manage to be—er—neat, you know. Bit of an ordeal for her, but I’m sure you and Sheila will do all you can to make it—er—pass off pleasantly.EDGAR.Certainly, certainly.[MRS. TIMBRELLenters. She wears the kind of afternoon gown that some ladies of the middle class wear in the evenings when they have not company.TIMBRELLscrutinises each lady as she enters with more or less approval.]TIMBRELL.[Surveying his wife.] Yes, yes. By-the-bye, Edgar, you will take Mrs. Leonard in. I must take in Mrs. Pendleton of course. Pendleton, your Mother. Let’s see?MRS. TIMBRELL.Oughtn’t you to take in Mary?TIMBRELL.What’s that?[ADAandSHEILAenter. They are not in evening dress but in a kind of compromise with which they are not content.]ADA.[To her father.] I hope this will satisfy you.TIMBRELL.[Surveying them.] Quite right. Very good. [To his wife.] What were you saying?MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought that perhaps you ought to take Mary in.TIMBRELL.Mary? Why?MRS. TIMBRELL.Well, she’s the bride, I suppose. Of course, Sheila had her turn long ago.TIMBRELL.The bride! [He is staggered but doesn’t know what to say.]MRS. TIMBRELL.This little party is really in her honour.TIMBRELL.In her honour. [He repeats it helplessly.]ADA.Really, Mother, I think this is rather unnecessary.SHEILA.Mrs. Pendleton would hardly expect to go after Mary.[Entermaidservant.]SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Pendleton.[They enter—salutations, &c.MR. PENDLETONwears a swallow-tail, black tie, &c.MRS. PENDLETON,a ponderous compromise. They are a respectable middle-class couple.]TIMBRELL.Well, well. How are you, Pendleton? Mrs. Pendleton, draw up to the fire. These young people are not here yet. Leonard never took much account of time. It’s very good of you to have come.PENDLETON.Very happy indeed, I’m sure.TIMBRELL.You see, Mrs. Pendleton, we thought—I’m sure you’ll understand—Christmas Eve, you know—and you and Pendleton such old friends. Of course we might have had just the family but they’ll take it as a bit of a compliment to meet you. You know how it is—I needn’t explain—They haven’t been here yet. You’ll quite understand.MRS. PENDLETON.Don’t say any more about it, Mr. Timbrell. I’m sure you’re behaving very well and we’re very glad—very glad.TIMBRELL.Yes, and do you know, I believe the marriage is not going to turn out so badly after all. She’ll make a man of him. I was very firm about it. However, we won’t go into that now.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you know my daughter-in-law, Mrs. Pendleton?MRS. PENDLETON.[Turning toSHEILA.] Oh, yes, I’ve had the pleasure—MRS. TIMBRELL.I didn’t mean Sheila; I meant Mary—Mrs. Leonard.MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! well—know her? I—that is—MRS. TIMBRELL.She was the best housemaid I ever had.TIMBRELL.Well, well, I think it’s turning frosty again. What are you paying for coals now, Pendleton?[Entermaidservant.]SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Timbrell.[LEONARDandMARYenter. He is in evening dress with a white waistcoat and white tie.MARYwears a low dress, not a very elaborate one but quite simple and pretty. The others look at them in some consternation.]TIMBRELL.Tut! tut! Oh! this is all wrong.MRS. TIMBRELL.[Laughing a little as she goes forward toMARY.] Well, Mary, you are a swell.MARY.I didn’t want to be like this. [She turns rather distressfully to her husband who looks round at the company. General, rather stiff greetings.]LEONARD.We seem to have committed a slight error of judgment. I have, I mean. Mary, you have a sound social instinct. I can never tell whatthese bourgeois people will do. And mind you [holding out his hand deprecatingly.]—I use the word simply and inoffensively. You understand that, Mrs. Pendleton. I’m an outsider.EDGAR.You mean a bounder?LEONARD.Quite good, Edgar, if you could only get a pleasant tone into your voice. As you say it it’s so bad socially. And how are you, Sheila?SHEILA.I’m quite well, thank you.LEONARD.Chilly, chilly. Mother, you’ve got an awkward job this evening.TIMBRELL.Don’t be absurd, sir.[MRS. TIMBRELLandMARYretire up the stage and sit down together.ADAandSHEILAalso converse together in whispers withMRS. PENDLETON.The four men are to the front.]PENDLETON.And what are you doing with yourself now, Leonard?LEONARD.Still at the old game, sir; still at the old game.PENDLETON.Indeed! What’s that?LEONARD.Well, do you know I had to fill up my census paper the other day and I was rather bothered to describe myself. Of course I’m a literary man but that hardly seems to cover the ground. I’m really a kind of sponge but that doesn’t rank as a regular trade.TIMBRELL.You’ll make nothing of him, Pendleton, when he’s in this humour.EDGAR.Why can’t you talk simply instead of spouting all this rot?LEONARD.You are always baffled when I tell the truth.EDGAR.It somehow ceases to be the truth when you tell it.LEONARD.Good. You see how my family is prejudiced against me, Mr. Pendleton. My virtues are not virtues, my white is black. My only chance is to put myself right by committing a crime. Then I should command sympathy, my family would begin to understand me. Mr. Pendleton, won’t you consider these preliminaries over and give me a little assistance? I want something to do. Give me a place in your office.PENDLETON.[Rather alarmed.] But, my dear boy, I’m afraid—I hardly think—LEONARD.[Burlesque so slight as to be hardly perceptible toPENDLETON.] Give me a chance, sir. I’ve a wife and family.PENDLETON.[Laughing uneasily.] You’re clever enough, I believe.TIMBRELL.He wouldn’t do for an office boy.LEONARD.That’s perfectly true. Most of the business men I have met would do for it very well.EDGAR.You’d better try the music-hall stage.LEONARD.Now that’s quite a helpful suggestion. That’s an idea, Edgar. Humbugs like myself make good actors.TIMBRELL.—You are not serious, sir.LEONARD.Hardly. No.PENDLETON.I’ve heard that Harry Lauder got—how much a week was it—when he—? something astonishing. Why, sir, there are very few merchants in the city of London who make as much.LEONARD.[Reflecting.] The music-halls. Mary! [Deep in talk withMRS. TIMBRELLshe doesn’t hear.] No matter.PENDLETON.They’ve something better to talk about.LEONARD.When I see two women talking like that I always think it must be about the servant question.EDGAR.I say! What infernally bad taste!TIMBRELL.[Breaking impatiently away.] My dear, isn’t dinner ready?LEONARD.Where’s the fatted calf?MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! dear! Ring the bell, somebody. [Somebody rings the bell.] Mrs. Pendleton, I’m very remiss but this is a family party, you know. Mary was telling me about the baby.MRS. PENDLETON.You must let me come and see it, my dear. [ToADA.] Is it a boy or a girl?ADA.It’s a—it’s a— [She looks atSHEILA.]SHEILA.} { Boy.} [Together.]MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Girl.LEONARD.It’s a very remarkable baby.MRS. PENDLETON.[ToMRS. TIMBRELL.] A boy. How very nice. And what have you called him?MARY.Leonard.MRS. PENDLETON.Right, my dear. I think the eldest son ought always to be called after his father.LEONARD.Confusing for the historian.[Entermaidservant.]MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! Beryl, isn’t dinner ready.MAID.If you please, ma’am, there’s been rather a little accident in the dining-room.MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Oh! dear! What’s that?} [Together.]ADA.} { An accident!MAID.Well, the soot came down the chimney just now and it’s made such a mess. We’re just clearing it away but it’s a job. We’ll have to change the tablecloth.MARY.[Who has taken a great interest in this.] That damper wants a bit of coaxing but I expect it’s the coals. [ToTIMBRELL,reproachfully.] You’ve not gone back to those cheap coals again, sir? They do make such a lot of soot.TIMBRELL.Well—er—MRS. TIMBRELL.You would do it, you know. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Does your husband come and shew you how to save money in the house?MRS. PENDLETON.I’d like to see him try.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’m afraid I don’t stand up against him. I’m very weak. Well, get things straight as soon as you can, Beryl.MAID. Yes, ma’am. It’ll be a little time yet. I’m afraid. [She goes out.]MRS. PENDLETON.What did you call her?MRS. TIMBRELL.Beryl.MRS. PENDLETON.Well, I never.MRS. TIMBRELL.She said that was her name.TIMBRELL.I told you, my dear, that it was quite unsuitable.MRS. TIMBRELL.She seemed to like the name.TIMBRELL.I suggested Jane.LEONARD.Ah! you may interfere about coals but not in things that matter like this. Of course Beryl is abominable but when you know that Mother let the poor girl stick to it—why! then it’s charming.EDGAR.Well, we’ve a little time to put in, it seems. Mrs. Pendleton, you haven’t seen the album that Sheila and I made up when we were honeymooning. We took a lot and bought some. [He gets out album and shows photographs.SHEILAandADAhover about.]TIMBRELL.[Looking at his watch.] Very annoying.PENDLETON.Don’t you bother.TIMBRELL.[With an effort at geniality.] Well, Mary, my girl. It’s a shame to keep you waiting.MARY.It doesn’t matter a bit, sir.TIMBRELL.[Testily.] Don’t call me Sir.MARY.No, sir—I mean No, Mr. Timbrell.LEONARD.Call him Daddy. She calls me Sir sometimes. I rather like it. It feeds my vanity. What I like about Mary is that she has none of that absurd pretence that woman is the equal of man.ADA.What nonsense!SHEILA.He always does talk nonsense.MRS. TIMBRELL.I expect Mary keeps you in good order at home. Do you Mary? Is he behaving nicely?MARY.I think so sometimes.MRS. TIMBRELL.Now what does that mean?MARY.I find it so hard to understand him.LEONARD.She’s simple. I’m ironical. I can’t get out of the habit.MARY.I’m stupid and I can only judge by what he does.LEONARD.Ay, ay. That’s the devil. It’s explanations I’m good at—not doing things.MARY.But I don’t understand the explanations.MRS. TIMBRELL.Poor Mary.MARY.Did you understand him?MRS. TIMBRELL.He thinks I didn’t. But I’m afraid all this will not interest our friends. We don’t let Mr. Pendleton have a word.PENDLETON.Oh! don’t mind me, ma’am. I’m all right.LEONARD.And Mrs. Pendleton’s all right, I’m sure. She’s got her eye on us. Of course, you know, Mrs. Pendleton, that Mary and I are—well—we’re rather on show here. This is a social experiment. Now, why not go deeper into it? Mary’s manners are quite nice. Anybody can see that. The housemaid’s manners are always better than those of the daughter of the house. Now, father, keep quiet. My manners are what they always have been. You see my point is that the questionwhether we shall behave nicely on pleasant little family occasions isn’t interesting. If you are really interested in Mary and me let’s try to go a little deeper into things.TIMBRELL.Perfect rubbish!LEONARD.It’s your weak point, sir. If I haven’t pointed it out before I ought to have done—you will meet everything with exclamations and interjections. Conversation can’t be carried on like that. There must be some reasonable way of looking at me. I may be an extraordinary specimen, but you ought to get used to me.PENDLETON.Never mind, Leonard, my boy, I was a bit eccentric myself when I was young. I wanted to go on the stage.LEONARD.I never wanted to go on the stage. I’m ready if they’ll give me Harry Lauder’s salary.PENDLETON.Do you know what my old father did? He gave me a good hiding and I’ve been all the better for it.LEONARD.How do you know?PENDLETON.[With a shrug that is half exhibition.] Well—LEONARD.I can hardly blame fathers. They are in an impossible position. They pretend to teach and they ought to learn.TIMBRELL.Who makes the position impossible? You and Edgar were treated alike—up to a certain point. I never allowed any favouritism; what one got the other got. There was never the slightest difference—LEONARD.But why should you treat us alike when we were totally different?TIMBRELL.Up to a point, I said.LEONARD.[Surveying his brother.] And this is the success. I might have been like this if I’d tried.TIMBRELL.I was always ready to take a reasonable and a liberal point of view.LEONARD.Ah! You Liberals. It’s feeling that you’re so jolly liberal that confirms you in your wickedness.TIMBRELL.Wickedness!LEONARD.A rhetorical term of course.TIMBRELL.[With real dejection.] I do my best but I can’t understand your language. You puzzle me, my boy.LEONARD.Don’t mind me, sir. I’m a rotter.MRS. TIMBRELL.You want your dinner, Leonard.LEONARD.Well, well, little mother. I’d like to know what you think about it all.MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s a wild boy, Mary.MARY.He can be very sensible if he likes.LEONARD.Don’t deny me my wildness. Don’t make me out a sham.MRS. TIMBRELL.Wild, wild.LEONARD.And where does it come from? How do I get it? Mr. Pendleton, who are the wild people here?PENDLETON.Nay, my boy. I’m not up to your tricks and turns.LEONARD.I’ll tell you. Mary and my mother—they’re very much alike.TIMBRELL.I think we’ll leave this subject.EDGAR.You won’t get him away from himself.LEONARD.Brother, brother, I’ll be silent if you’ve anything worth saying.MARY.You shouldn’t say I’m like your Mother.LEONARD.But you are.MARY.You make me unhappy.LEONARD.Then I shouldn’t say it. But you are.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’d be glad to think that I’m like you, Mary.MARY.It’s all unhappy for me. I spoil everything.ADA.It isn’t your fault.MARY.[ToADA.] You want to blame it all on him. That’s no use. It isn’t all him.SHEILA.We want to be kind to you.MARY.It doesn’t matter about me. I’d rather you were down on me and kind to him. This is his family. And I’m not comfortable ma’am and it’s partly this dress and I wonder if you would mind if I went home and you’d all get on better together. I spoil everything.MRS. TIMBRELL.You silly girl; you spoil nothing and you’re as good as gold and we all like you.ADA.You mustn’t go, and the dress looks very nice.SHEILA.Very nice, indeed.MRS. TIMBRELL.And you shall have a little shawl over your shoulders if you like.TIMBRELL.All we want is our dinner.MARY.I’m sure you’re all very kind—but—LEONARD.We’re getting on fine now.EDGAR.You see, you’ve been out of the conversation for about two minutes.LEONARD.Is that it, brother?EDGAR.What’s this trick of calling me brother?LEONARD.I’m tasting the relationship. There’s a certain piquancy in calling you brother.MRS. TIMBRELL.Leonard, you won’t quarrel with your brother.LEONARD.No. And yet he’s one of the men I could quarrel with. Once or twice I’ve been angry with Edgar. I’ve had the true intoxication of anger. [ToEDGAR.] Do you know it? It’s a delirious joy. Your brain streams out like a scarlet banner.EDGAR.You quarrelled over trifles.LEONARD.Yes, they would do. Our differences were deep.TIMBRELL.Well, Pendleton. I hope you’re having a pleasant evening.MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! we don’t count this little bit of time before dinner.PENDLETON.I don’t like brothers to quarrel, though. I hope you young fellows will make it up before the evening’s out.MRS. PENDLETON.Well, you’ve got two very different sons, Mrs. Timbrell.PENDLETON.Leave that, Maria.LEONARD.Which favours the mother, Mrs. Pendleton?MRS. PENDLETON.Why, Mr. Edgar.LEONARD.No—no. You wouldn’t say that, Mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve not said it. I’ve never said it.LEONARD.[Takes his Mother by the shoulders.] You’ve borne two sons little mother. How did you manage to make them so different? By God! You’re nearer to me; you’re more like me. And like Mary; I tell you, you’re like Mary. A strain of wildness. Yes. Where does my wildness come from? It comes from you. [He shakes her gently.] I know you. Oh! you’re demure. I know you. I wonder what you were before you became a respectable married woman. Ah! you cunning little one. You’ve doubled and turned in your time; you’ve—TIMBRELL.Stop, stop.EDGAR.Monstrous.PENDLETON.By Jove! this is too much.[LEONARDturns to regard them. He and his Mother are surrounded by indignant, half-menacing figures.]TIMBRELL.Take your hands from her.EDGAR.Turn the blackguard out.TIMBRELL.I can’t believe—I can’t understand—this fellow is too much for me.PENDLETON.He’s too much for any of us.LEONARD.[He looks again at his mother. She is very still and droops a little.] Mother! What did I say? Have I made a mistake? Have I hurt you? I wouldn’t do that. [He allows her to sink into a chair.]MARY.How could you say such things?LEONARD.What did I say?MARY.You made her out—no better than me.MRS. PENDLETON.Hush! Hush!TIMBRELL.I wouldn’t have said it but since she has—You dare to suggest that your mother is no better than your wife?PENDLETON.Now, come, Timbrell; that’s not the way to put it.MRS. TIMBRELL.Mary is good enough for me.TIMBRELL.That isn’t the point. Don’t you yourself resent—didn’t you hear what he said?MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought he was a little cruel.LEONARD.But who cares for you in this family as I do.ADA.Who cares less? Who would treat her so abominably?EDGAR.My mother is to me an immaculate saint. To you—LEONARD.What do I care for immaculate saints? What good are they to me? My mother’s a strange woman. She has all kinds of curious reserves and she lives among you quite like one of yourselves.MARY.I will say this. He has always spoken beautifully about her.LEONARD.Bravo! Mary. Stand up for me.TIMBRELL.I don’t wish to act hastily—I have tried hard to control myself—LEONARD.Oh! be natural, sir. Be natural.TIMBRELL.Go down on your knees, sir, and beg your Mother’s pardon.LEONARD.Certainly, if she wishes it.MRS. TIMBRELL.I do not wish it.TIMBRELL.Do you realise what he said about you?MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s very clever. No doubt there’s some truth in it.TIMBRELL.Some truth? Some truth? Do you mean to say—I don’t understand you. I don’t like to ask you what you mean—I—PENDLETON.Now, Timbrell, I think we’d better leave it here. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Don’t you think so, Maria?MRS. PENDLETON.I should want to carry it a little further in her place.MRS. TIMBRELL.[Having quite recovered.] Would anybody like to ask me any questions?PENDLETON.[Shocked.] Questions?MRS. TIMBRELL.About my early life. [She gives a sad little laugh.]PENDLETON.Questions! My dear madam—TIMBRELL.This is painful. This is quite impossible. [To his wife.] I cannot understand you. I suppose you are trying to screen him.MARY.He always speaks of his mother beautifully.LEONARD.And why shouldn’t I when I admire her immensely? Why can’t you people be natural and let me be natural? I say there’s a strange,mysterious, incalculable being behind her placid mask and you want to make out I mean something beastly. How have you stood it all these years, mother? And they never seem to have found you out.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you think I’ve found myself out?LEONARD.You’ve found the other people out and that’s very much the same thing. I tell you what—you ought to come and live with me and Mary.MRS. TIMBRELL.Nonsense.LEONARD.It would be tremendously fine if you did that. After all these years—it would be magnificent.EDGAR.Is this to go on?TIMBRELL.No. I’m exceedingly sorry, Pendleton, that you and Mrs. Pendleton should be in such a scene. [ToLEONARD.] I’ll ask you to leave the house. Mary may stay if she pleases.LEONARD.But I want my dinner.TIMBRELL.You can get your dinner at home.LEONARD.Mary?MARY.There’s not much. I’ll go with you.PENDLETON.Now look here, Timbrell—TIMBRELL.Not a word. [ToLEONARD.] And I’ve something to say to you before you go.LEONARD.I’m afraid it’s something nasty.TIMBRELL.Yes, sir. It’s something nasty. I’ve been making you an allowance at the rate of three hundred a year. It will stop at once.LEONARD.[Alarmed.] Here! You can’t do that.TIMBRELL.Can’t I? I will.LEONARD.But it wouldn’t be cricket. You couldn’t possibly do that. How are we to live without it?TIMBRELL.That’s your business.LEONARD.You made me marry Mary. It was the condition—the condition was implied—TIMBRELL.Silence! You forget we are not alone.LEONARD.Oh! What’s the use of these disguises? They know all about it. Let us accept what’s past. Mrs. Pendleton, I needn’t make any apologies. All this must be frightfully interesting to you. Mr. Pendleton, I shall want your help. I put it to you as an honest business man—but you’re joking, sir; you’re joking. [LEONARDhas become more serious than he has been.]TIMBRELL.You’ll see whether I’m joking.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you intend to punish Mary, too?TIMBRELL.I shall allow her—[considering] I shall allow her two pounds a week and see that it is paid to her.MRS. TIMBRELL.What you propose is unfair. You can’t do it.TIMBRELL.Perhaps you would like to go and live with them as he proposes?MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve no income. You’ve never paid my wages.TIMBRELL.Wages!MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes, there’s something in what these suffrage people say. I’m at your mercy I suppose. So is Leonard, so is Ada. I suppose Edgar is getting out of your clutches.TIMBRELL.Do you think to gain your point by talk like this?MRS. TIMBRELL.No. This is for my own satisfaction. I’m vexed with you.TIMBRELL.You didn’t think that I gave any credence to that boy’s abominable suggestions?LEONARD.Please don’t talk about that now. There’s something more serious to consider.MRS. TIMBRELL.Don’t talk about it now, either.LEONARD.I don’t see how we can talk about anything else. We must have an income. Mr. Pendleton, I appeal to you—PENDLETON.Nay, let him calm down.TIMBRELL.I shall not calm down. I am perfectly calm. The fellow shall suffer. It will do him good.MRS. TIMBRELL.And Mary and the child must suffer.MRS. PENDLETON.Ah! now, Mr. Timbrell—your grandchild.MARY.He hasn’t seen him.MRS. PENDLETON.Not seen him! Ah! Mr. Timbrell, you’re the one that’s to blame.TIMBRELL.Really, madam, I can’t discuss the matter with you. I’ve said what I mean to do.EDGAR.It’s about time this dinner was ready, isn’t it?LEONARD.And to think that all this bother is through a confounded chimney! We might have been comfortably at table, with incomes secure. What do you think of the Governor’s proposal, Edgar—as a business man?EDGAR.Don’t talk to me.LEONARD.No, brother.TIMBRELL.[Bouncing from the chair on which he had seated himself.] I tell you I will not stand—[Entermaidservant.]MAID.Dinner is served.[Those who are seated rise hesitatingly.TIMBRELLglares about him and then offers his arm toMRS. PENDLETONwho accompanies him out of the room.SHEILAandADAfollow.EDGARoffers his arm toMARY, who shakes her head.PENDLETONoffers his arm toMRS. TIMBRELL.]MRS. TIMBRELL.Excuse me for a moment. [She turns toMARYandLEONARD.] What are you going to do?LEONARD.Well, we don’t seem to be wanted here.PENDLETON.Better all come.MARY.I want to go home.LEONARD.Yes, it’s all right for you when you get to your baby.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll follow you Mr. Pendleton.PENDLETON.Well, I’ll just see what Timbrell’s up to now. [He goes out.]MRS. TIMBRELL.I think you had better not stay.MARY.No, let us go.LEONARD.I’ve made a mess of it, mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.Never mind that.LEONARD.No. That doesn’t matter. But I’ve hurt you. I’ve shaken you. You look pale and queer now. I’ve no reverence. I’m selfish. But I can sympathise. Do you see that? I understand you better than anyone does, mother. I know you better, I like you more. You don’t properly exist without me. Did I say some horrible things about you? I really don’t know what I meant. It was a kind of inspiration. Oh! yes. I know the proper things to say about one’s mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.But I’m a mother like the rest.MARY.He doesn’t understand that. He wants to see all sorts of things in you.MRS. TIMBRELL.We’re just mothers, aren’t we, Mary?MARY.That’s the best.LEONARD.Yes, Mary’s a mother. But what of you, poor thing? Look at us. Look at Edgar and me and Ada. Look at the finished product. What’s the good of it? What’s the good of being a mother when one’s children are grown up? I can understand Mary. I’ve watched her with the baby. There’s been something suppressed and killed in you.MARY.Don’t say these things to her.LEONARD.Failure is written on her face.MARY.Don’t, don’t.LEONARD.I’m at my best in saying such things.MARY.But they hurt her. You only care for yourself.LEONARD.She must be hurt. We’ve let her alone all these years. She ought to have revolted. She ought to be alive now.MRS. TIMBRELL.I remember you all as babies, as children. I’ve got the past.LEONARD.Was I always your favourite, mother?MRS. TIMBRELL.I won’t say that. [She listens for a moment to a distant sound.] Perhaps you’d better go.[EDGARenters.]EDGAR.Aren’t you coming, mother? It’s most awkward. There’ll be an awful row.MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes. Edgar, is it any use their coming? Mr. Pendleton was going to see whether—EDGAR.I don’t think it’s the slightest use. He’s boiling over.MARY.Oh! let us go.LEONARD.Come on. But look here. It’s no use our going home. Edgar, lend us a sovereign.EDGAR.You’d condescend to borrow from me, then?LEONARD.My dear fellow you don’t seem to understand that I’m magnanimous. [EDGARlaughs.] You think that’s a joke. You never see my jokes.EDGAR.I can’t stay.LEONARD.Have you any money about you, mother?MRS. TIMBRELL.[ToEDGAR.] Give it to him.LEONARD.Mother will repay you out of the housekeeping. [EDGARfumbles in his pocket.] Look here. Make it two pounds. Mary and I don’t often have a treat together. It’s a special occasion. We may as well do it handsome for once. What about the Savoy and a music-hall, Mary? You look the part fine. [His spirits are obviously rising.]MARY.I wonder if I’d not better go home.MRS. TIMBRELL.Go and enjoy yourself, my dear.[EDGARhands money toLEONARDwho looks at it.]LEONARD.Well, I’m damned. One pound ten.EDGAR.Quite enough, too.LEONARD.It’s not that I’m thinking of. It’s the extraordinary meanness of your character.[EnterADA.]ADA.Mother, do come. He says I’m to bring you or else the Family Bible.LEONARD.The devil!MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll come.[Curtain falls.]
ACT II.[The same place. Nearly a year later. Christmas Eve. The room is decorated with evergreens, &c.TIMBRELLandEDGARdiscovered. They are in jackets and black ties, &c.]TIMBRELL.[SurveyingEDGAR.] Yes, that’s right—black tie—You told Sheila to put on some half and half affair? Not full evening dress, you know. Of course I didn’t like to say anything to Leonard, but his wife’s a sensible girl—in some ways. She’ll manage to be—er—neat, you know. Bit of an ordeal for her, but I’m sure you and Sheila will do all you can to make it—er—pass off pleasantly.EDGAR.Certainly, certainly.[MRS. TIMBRELLenters. She wears the kind of afternoon gown that some ladies of the middle class wear in the evenings when they have not company.TIMBRELLscrutinises each lady as she enters with more or less approval.]TIMBRELL.[Surveying his wife.] Yes, yes. By-the-bye, Edgar, you will take Mrs. Leonard in. I must take in Mrs. Pendleton of course. Pendleton, your Mother. Let’s see?MRS. TIMBRELL.Oughtn’t you to take in Mary?TIMBRELL.What’s that?[ADAandSHEILAenter. They are not in evening dress but in a kind of compromise with which they are not content.]ADA.[To her father.] I hope this will satisfy you.TIMBRELL.[Surveying them.] Quite right. Very good. [To his wife.] What were you saying?MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought that perhaps you ought to take Mary in.TIMBRELL.Mary? Why?MRS. TIMBRELL.Well, she’s the bride, I suppose. Of course, Sheila had her turn long ago.TIMBRELL.The bride! [He is staggered but doesn’t know what to say.]MRS. TIMBRELL.This little party is really in her honour.TIMBRELL.In her honour. [He repeats it helplessly.]ADA.Really, Mother, I think this is rather unnecessary.SHEILA.Mrs. Pendleton would hardly expect to go after Mary.[Entermaidservant.]SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Pendleton.[They enter—salutations, &c.MR. PENDLETONwears a swallow-tail, black tie, &c.MRS. PENDLETON,a ponderous compromise. They are a respectable middle-class couple.]TIMBRELL.Well, well. How are you, Pendleton? Mrs. Pendleton, draw up to the fire. These young people are not here yet. Leonard never took much account of time. It’s very good of you to have come.PENDLETON.Very happy indeed, I’m sure.TIMBRELL.You see, Mrs. Pendleton, we thought—I’m sure you’ll understand—Christmas Eve, you know—and you and Pendleton such old friends. Of course we might have had just the family but they’ll take it as a bit of a compliment to meet you. You know how it is—I needn’t explain—They haven’t been here yet. You’ll quite understand.MRS. PENDLETON.Don’t say any more about it, Mr. Timbrell. I’m sure you’re behaving very well and we’re very glad—very glad.TIMBRELL.Yes, and do you know, I believe the marriage is not going to turn out so badly after all. She’ll make a man of him. I was very firm about it. However, we won’t go into that now.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you know my daughter-in-law, Mrs. Pendleton?MRS. PENDLETON.[Turning toSHEILA.] Oh, yes, I’ve had the pleasure—MRS. TIMBRELL.I didn’t mean Sheila; I meant Mary—Mrs. Leonard.MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! well—know her? I—that is—MRS. TIMBRELL.She was the best housemaid I ever had.TIMBRELL.Well, well, I think it’s turning frosty again. What are you paying for coals now, Pendleton?[Entermaidservant.]SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Timbrell.[LEONARDandMARYenter. He is in evening dress with a white waistcoat and white tie.MARYwears a low dress, not a very elaborate one but quite simple and pretty. The others look at them in some consternation.]TIMBRELL.Tut! tut! Oh! this is all wrong.MRS. TIMBRELL.[Laughing a little as she goes forward toMARY.] Well, Mary, you are a swell.MARY.I didn’t want to be like this. [She turns rather distressfully to her husband who looks round at the company. General, rather stiff greetings.]LEONARD.We seem to have committed a slight error of judgment. I have, I mean. Mary, you have a sound social instinct. I can never tell whatthese bourgeois people will do. And mind you [holding out his hand deprecatingly.]—I use the word simply and inoffensively. You understand that, Mrs. Pendleton. I’m an outsider.EDGAR.You mean a bounder?LEONARD.Quite good, Edgar, if you could only get a pleasant tone into your voice. As you say it it’s so bad socially. And how are you, Sheila?SHEILA.I’m quite well, thank you.LEONARD.Chilly, chilly. Mother, you’ve got an awkward job this evening.TIMBRELL.Don’t be absurd, sir.[MRS. TIMBRELLandMARYretire up the stage and sit down together.ADAandSHEILAalso converse together in whispers withMRS. PENDLETON.The four men are to the front.]PENDLETON.And what are you doing with yourself now, Leonard?LEONARD.Still at the old game, sir; still at the old game.PENDLETON.Indeed! What’s that?LEONARD.Well, do you know I had to fill up my census paper the other day and I was rather bothered to describe myself. Of course I’m a literary man but that hardly seems to cover the ground. I’m really a kind of sponge but that doesn’t rank as a regular trade.TIMBRELL.You’ll make nothing of him, Pendleton, when he’s in this humour.EDGAR.Why can’t you talk simply instead of spouting all this rot?LEONARD.You are always baffled when I tell the truth.EDGAR.It somehow ceases to be the truth when you tell it.LEONARD.Good. You see how my family is prejudiced against me, Mr. Pendleton. My virtues are not virtues, my white is black. My only chance is to put myself right by committing a crime. Then I should command sympathy, my family would begin to understand me. Mr. Pendleton, won’t you consider these preliminaries over and give me a little assistance? I want something to do. Give me a place in your office.PENDLETON.[Rather alarmed.] But, my dear boy, I’m afraid—I hardly think—LEONARD.[Burlesque so slight as to be hardly perceptible toPENDLETON.] Give me a chance, sir. I’ve a wife and family.PENDLETON.[Laughing uneasily.] You’re clever enough, I believe.TIMBRELL.He wouldn’t do for an office boy.LEONARD.That’s perfectly true. Most of the business men I have met would do for it very well.EDGAR.You’d better try the music-hall stage.LEONARD.Now that’s quite a helpful suggestion. That’s an idea, Edgar. Humbugs like myself make good actors.TIMBRELL.—You are not serious, sir.LEONARD.Hardly. No.PENDLETON.I’ve heard that Harry Lauder got—how much a week was it—when he—? something astonishing. Why, sir, there are very few merchants in the city of London who make as much.LEONARD.[Reflecting.] The music-halls. Mary! [Deep in talk withMRS. TIMBRELLshe doesn’t hear.] No matter.PENDLETON.They’ve something better to talk about.LEONARD.When I see two women talking like that I always think it must be about the servant question.EDGAR.I say! What infernally bad taste!TIMBRELL.[Breaking impatiently away.] My dear, isn’t dinner ready?LEONARD.Where’s the fatted calf?MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! dear! Ring the bell, somebody. [Somebody rings the bell.] Mrs. Pendleton, I’m very remiss but this is a family party, you know. Mary was telling me about the baby.MRS. PENDLETON.You must let me come and see it, my dear. [ToADA.] Is it a boy or a girl?ADA.It’s a—it’s a— [She looks atSHEILA.]SHEILA.} { Boy.} [Together.]MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Girl.LEONARD.It’s a very remarkable baby.MRS. PENDLETON.[ToMRS. TIMBRELL.] A boy. How very nice. And what have you called him?MARY.Leonard.MRS. PENDLETON.Right, my dear. I think the eldest son ought always to be called after his father.LEONARD.Confusing for the historian.[Entermaidservant.]MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! Beryl, isn’t dinner ready.MAID.If you please, ma’am, there’s been rather a little accident in the dining-room.MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Oh! dear! What’s that?} [Together.]ADA.} { An accident!MAID.Well, the soot came down the chimney just now and it’s made such a mess. We’re just clearing it away but it’s a job. We’ll have to change the tablecloth.MARY.[Who has taken a great interest in this.] That damper wants a bit of coaxing but I expect it’s the coals. [ToTIMBRELL,reproachfully.] You’ve not gone back to those cheap coals again, sir? They do make such a lot of soot.TIMBRELL.Well—er—MRS. TIMBRELL.You would do it, you know. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Does your husband come and shew you how to save money in the house?MRS. PENDLETON.I’d like to see him try.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’m afraid I don’t stand up against him. I’m very weak. Well, get things straight as soon as you can, Beryl.MAID. Yes, ma’am. It’ll be a little time yet. I’m afraid. [She goes out.]MRS. PENDLETON.What did you call her?MRS. TIMBRELL.Beryl.MRS. PENDLETON.Well, I never.MRS. TIMBRELL.She said that was her name.TIMBRELL.I told you, my dear, that it was quite unsuitable.MRS. TIMBRELL.She seemed to like the name.TIMBRELL.I suggested Jane.LEONARD.Ah! you may interfere about coals but not in things that matter like this. Of course Beryl is abominable but when you know that Mother let the poor girl stick to it—why! then it’s charming.EDGAR.Well, we’ve a little time to put in, it seems. Mrs. Pendleton, you haven’t seen the album that Sheila and I made up when we were honeymooning. We took a lot and bought some. [He gets out album and shows photographs.SHEILAandADAhover about.]TIMBRELL.[Looking at his watch.] Very annoying.PENDLETON.Don’t you bother.TIMBRELL.[With an effort at geniality.] Well, Mary, my girl. It’s a shame to keep you waiting.MARY.It doesn’t matter a bit, sir.TIMBRELL.[Testily.] Don’t call me Sir.MARY.No, sir—I mean No, Mr. Timbrell.LEONARD.Call him Daddy. She calls me Sir sometimes. I rather like it. It feeds my vanity. What I like about Mary is that she has none of that absurd pretence that woman is the equal of man.ADA.What nonsense!SHEILA.He always does talk nonsense.MRS. TIMBRELL.I expect Mary keeps you in good order at home. Do you Mary? Is he behaving nicely?MARY.I think so sometimes.MRS. TIMBRELL.Now what does that mean?MARY.I find it so hard to understand him.LEONARD.She’s simple. I’m ironical. I can’t get out of the habit.MARY.I’m stupid and I can only judge by what he does.LEONARD.Ay, ay. That’s the devil. It’s explanations I’m good at—not doing things.MARY.But I don’t understand the explanations.MRS. TIMBRELL.Poor Mary.MARY.Did you understand him?MRS. TIMBRELL.He thinks I didn’t. But I’m afraid all this will not interest our friends. We don’t let Mr. Pendleton have a word.PENDLETON.Oh! don’t mind me, ma’am. I’m all right.LEONARD.And Mrs. Pendleton’s all right, I’m sure. She’s got her eye on us. Of course, you know, Mrs. Pendleton, that Mary and I are—well—we’re rather on show here. This is a social experiment. Now, why not go deeper into it? Mary’s manners are quite nice. Anybody can see that. The housemaid’s manners are always better than those of the daughter of the house. Now, father, keep quiet. My manners are what they always have been. You see my point is that the questionwhether we shall behave nicely on pleasant little family occasions isn’t interesting. If you are really interested in Mary and me let’s try to go a little deeper into things.TIMBRELL.Perfect rubbish!LEONARD.It’s your weak point, sir. If I haven’t pointed it out before I ought to have done—you will meet everything with exclamations and interjections. Conversation can’t be carried on like that. There must be some reasonable way of looking at me. I may be an extraordinary specimen, but you ought to get used to me.PENDLETON.Never mind, Leonard, my boy, I was a bit eccentric myself when I was young. I wanted to go on the stage.LEONARD.I never wanted to go on the stage. I’m ready if they’ll give me Harry Lauder’s salary.PENDLETON.Do you know what my old father did? He gave me a good hiding and I’ve been all the better for it.LEONARD.How do you know?PENDLETON.[With a shrug that is half exhibition.] Well—LEONARD.I can hardly blame fathers. They are in an impossible position. They pretend to teach and they ought to learn.TIMBRELL.Who makes the position impossible? You and Edgar were treated alike—up to a certain point. I never allowed any favouritism; what one got the other got. There was never the slightest difference—LEONARD.But why should you treat us alike when we were totally different?TIMBRELL.Up to a point, I said.LEONARD.[Surveying his brother.] And this is the success. I might have been like this if I’d tried.TIMBRELL.I was always ready to take a reasonable and a liberal point of view.LEONARD.Ah! You Liberals. It’s feeling that you’re so jolly liberal that confirms you in your wickedness.TIMBRELL.Wickedness!LEONARD.A rhetorical term of course.TIMBRELL.[With real dejection.] I do my best but I can’t understand your language. You puzzle me, my boy.LEONARD.Don’t mind me, sir. I’m a rotter.MRS. TIMBRELL.You want your dinner, Leonard.LEONARD.Well, well, little mother. I’d like to know what you think about it all.MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s a wild boy, Mary.MARY.He can be very sensible if he likes.LEONARD.Don’t deny me my wildness. Don’t make me out a sham.MRS. TIMBRELL.Wild, wild.LEONARD.And where does it come from? How do I get it? Mr. Pendleton, who are the wild people here?PENDLETON.Nay, my boy. I’m not up to your tricks and turns.LEONARD.I’ll tell you. Mary and my mother—they’re very much alike.TIMBRELL.I think we’ll leave this subject.EDGAR.You won’t get him away from himself.LEONARD.Brother, brother, I’ll be silent if you’ve anything worth saying.MARY.You shouldn’t say I’m like your Mother.LEONARD.But you are.MARY.You make me unhappy.LEONARD.Then I shouldn’t say it. But you are.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’d be glad to think that I’m like you, Mary.MARY.It’s all unhappy for me. I spoil everything.ADA.It isn’t your fault.MARY.[ToADA.] You want to blame it all on him. That’s no use. It isn’t all him.SHEILA.We want to be kind to you.MARY.It doesn’t matter about me. I’d rather you were down on me and kind to him. This is his family. And I’m not comfortable ma’am and it’s partly this dress and I wonder if you would mind if I went home and you’d all get on better together. I spoil everything.MRS. TIMBRELL.You silly girl; you spoil nothing and you’re as good as gold and we all like you.ADA.You mustn’t go, and the dress looks very nice.SHEILA.Very nice, indeed.MRS. TIMBRELL.And you shall have a little shawl over your shoulders if you like.TIMBRELL.All we want is our dinner.MARY.I’m sure you’re all very kind—but—LEONARD.We’re getting on fine now.EDGAR.You see, you’ve been out of the conversation for about two minutes.LEONARD.Is that it, brother?EDGAR.What’s this trick of calling me brother?LEONARD.I’m tasting the relationship. There’s a certain piquancy in calling you brother.MRS. TIMBRELL.Leonard, you won’t quarrel with your brother.LEONARD.No. And yet he’s one of the men I could quarrel with. Once or twice I’ve been angry with Edgar. I’ve had the true intoxication of anger. [ToEDGAR.] Do you know it? It’s a delirious joy. Your brain streams out like a scarlet banner.EDGAR.You quarrelled over trifles.LEONARD.Yes, they would do. Our differences were deep.TIMBRELL.Well, Pendleton. I hope you’re having a pleasant evening.MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! we don’t count this little bit of time before dinner.PENDLETON.I don’t like brothers to quarrel, though. I hope you young fellows will make it up before the evening’s out.MRS. PENDLETON.Well, you’ve got two very different sons, Mrs. Timbrell.PENDLETON.Leave that, Maria.LEONARD.Which favours the mother, Mrs. Pendleton?MRS. PENDLETON.Why, Mr. Edgar.LEONARD.No—no. You wouldn’t say that, Mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve not said it. I’ve never said it.LEONARD.[Takes his Mother by the shoulders.] You’ve borne two sons little mother. How did you manage to make them so different? By God! You’re nearer to me; you’re more like me. And like Mary; I tell you, you’re like Mary. A strain of wildness. Yes. Where does my wildness come from? It comes from you. [He shakes her gently.] I know you. Oh! you’re demure. I know you. I wonder what you were before you became a respectable married woman. Ah! you cunning little one. You’ve doubled and turned in your time; you’ve—TIMBRELL.Stop, stop.EDGAR.Monstrous.PENDLETON.By Jove! this is too much.[LEONARDturns to regard them. He and his Mother are surrounded by indignant, half-menacing figures.]TIMBRELL.Take your hands from her.EDGAR.Turn the blackguard out.TIMBRELL.I can’t believe—I can’t understand—this fellow is too much for me.PENDLETON.He’s too much for any of us.LEONARD.[He looks again at his mother. She is very still and droops a little.] Mother! What did I say? Have I made a mistake? Have I hurt you? I wouldn’t do that. [He allows her to sink into a chair.]MARY.How could you say such things?LEONARD.What did I say?MARY.You made her out—no better than me.MRS. PENDLETON.Hush! Hush!TIMBRELL.I wouldn’t have said it but since she has—You dare to suggest that your mother is no better than your wife?PENDLETON.Now, come, Timbrell; that’s not the way to put it.MRS. TIMBRELL.Mary is good enough for me.TIMBRELL.That isn’t the point. Don’t you yourself resent—didn’t you hear what he said?MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought he was a little cruel.LEONARD.But who cares for you in this family as I do.ADA.Who cares less? Who would treat her so abominably?EDGAR.My mother is to me an immaculate saint. To you—LEONARD.What do I care for immaculate saints? What good are they to me? My mother’s a strange woman. She has all kinds of curious reserves and she lives among you quite like one of yourselves.MARY.I will say this. He has always spoken beautifully about her.LEONARD.Bravo! Mary. Stand up for me.TIMBRELL.I don’t wish to act hastily—I have tried hard to control myself—LEONARD.Oh! be natural, sir. Be natural.TIMBRELL.Go down on your knees, sir, and beg your Mother’s pardon.LEONARD.Certainly, if she wishes it.MRS. TIMBRELL.I do not wish it.TIMBRELL.Do you realise what he said about you?MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s very clever. No doubt there’s some truth in it.TIMBRELL.Some truth? Some truth? Do you mean to say—I don’t understand you. I don’t like to ask you what you mean—I—PENDLETON.Now, Timbrell, I think we’d better leave it here. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Don’t you think so, Maria?MRS. PENDLETON.I should want to carry it a little further in her place.MRS. TIMBRELL.[Having quite recovered.] Would anybody like to ask me any questions?PENDLETON.[Shocked.] Questions?MRS. TIMBRELL.About my early life. [She gives a sad little laugh.]PENDLETON.Questions! My dear madam—TIMBRELL.This is painful. This is quite impossible. [To his wife.] I cannot understand you. I suppose you are trying to screen him.MARY.He always speaks of his mother beautifully.LEONARD.And why shouldn’t I when I admire her immensely? Why can’t you people be natural and let me be natural? I say there’s a strange,mysterious, incalculable being behind her placid mask and you want to make out I mean something beastly. How have you stood it all these years, mother? And they never seem to have found you out.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you think I’ve found myself out?LEONARD.You’ve found the other people out and that’s very much the same thing. I tell you what—you ought to come and live with me and Mary.MRS. TIMBRELL.Nonsense.LEONARD.It would be tremendously fine if you did that. After all these years—it would be magnificent.EDGAR.Is this to go on?TIMBRELL.No. I’m exceedingly sorry, Pendleton, that you and Mrs. Pendleton should be in such a scene. [ToLEONARD.] I’ll ask you to leave the house. Mary may stay if she pleases.LEONARD.But I want my dinner.TIMBRELL.You can get your dinner at home.LEONARD.Mary?MARY.There’s not much. I’ll go with you.PENDLETON.Now look here, Timbrell—TIMBRELL.Not a word. [ToLEONARD.] And I’ve something to say to you before you go.LEONARD.I’m afraid it’s something nasty.TIMBRELL.Yes, sir. It’s something nasty. I’ve been making you an allowance at the rate of three hundred a year. It will stop at once.LEONARD.[Alarmed.] Here! You can’t do that.TIMBRELL.Can’t I? I will.LEONARD.But it wouldn’t be cricket. You couldn’t possibly do that. How are we to live without it?TIMBRELL.That’s your business.LEONARD.You made me marry Mary. It was the condition—the condition was implied—TIMBRELL.Silence! You forget we are not alone.LEONARD.Oh! What’s the use of these disguises? They know all about it. Let us accept what’s past. Mrs. Pendleton, I needn’t make any apologies. All this must be frightfully interesting to you. Mr. Pendleton, I shall want your help. I put it to you as an honest business man—but you’re joking, sir; you’re joking. [LEONARDhas become more serious than he has been.]TIMBRELL.You’ll see whether I’m joking.MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you intend to punish Mary, too?TIMBRELL.I shall allow her—[considering] I shall allow her two pounds a week and see that it is paid to her.MRS. TIMBRELL.What you propose is unfair. You can’t do it.TIMBRELL.Perhaps you would like to go and live with them as he proposes?MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve no income. You’ve never paid my wages.TIMBRELL.Wages!MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes, there’s something in what these suffrage people say. I’m at your mercy I suppose. So is Leonard, so is Ada. I suppose Edgar is getting out of your clutches.TIMBRELL.Do you think to gain your point by talk like this?MRS. TIMBRELL.No. This is for my own satisfaction. I’m vexed with you.TIMBRELL.You didn’t think that I gave any credence to that boy’s abominable suggestions?LEONARD.Please don’t talk about that now. There’s something more serious to consider.MRS. TIMBRELL.Don’t talk about it now, either.LEONARD.I don’t see how we can talk about anything else. We must have an income. Mr. Pendleton, I appeal to you—PENDLETON.Nay, let him calm down.TIMBRELL.I shall not calm down. I am perfectly calm. The fellow shall suffer. It will do him good.MRS. TIMBRELL.And Mary and the child must suffer.MRS. PENDLETON.Ah! now, Mr. Timbrell—your grandchild.MARY.He hasn’t seen him.MRS. PENDLETON.Not seen him! Ah! Mr. Timbrell, you’re the one that’s to blame.TIMBRELL.Really, madam, I can’t discuss the matter with you. I’ve said what I mean to do.EDGAR.It’s about time this dinner was ready, isn’t it?LEONARD.And to think that all this bother is through a confounded chimney! We might have been comfortably at table, with incomes secure. What do you think of the Governor’s proposal, Edgar—as a business man?EDGAR.Don’t talk to me.LEONARD.No, brother.TIMBRELL.[Bouncing from the chair on which he had seated himself.] I tell you I will not stand—[Entermaidservant.]MAID.Dinner is served.[Those who are seated rise hesitatingly.TIMBRELLglares about him and then offers his arm toMRS. PENDLETONwho accompanies him out of the room.SHEILAandADAfollow.EDGARoffers his arm toMARY, who shakes her head.PENDLETONoffers his arm toMRS. TIMBRELL.]MRS. TIMBRELL.Excuse me for a moment. [She turns toMARYandLEONARD.] What are you going to do?LEONARD.Well, we don’t seem to be wanted here.PENDLETON.Better all come.MARY.I want to go home.LEONARD.Yes, it’s all right for you when you get to your baby.MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll follow you Mr. Pendleton.PENDLETON.Well, I’ll just see what Timbrell’s up to now. [He goes out.]MRS. TIMBRELL.I think you had better not stay.MARY.No, let us go.LEONARD.I’ve made a mess of it, mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.Never mind that.LEONARD.No. That doesn’t matter. But I’ve hurt you. I’ve shaken you. You look pale and queer now. I’ve no reverence. I’m selfish. But I can sympathise. Do you see that? I understand you better than anyone does, mother. I know you better, I like you more. You don’t properly exist without me. Did I say some horrible things about you? I really don’t know what I meant. It was a kind of inspiration. Oh! yes. I know the proper things to say about one’s mother.MRS. TIMBRELL.But I’m a mother like the rest.MARY.He doesn’t understand that. He wants to see all sorts of things in you.MRS. TIMBRELL.We’re just mothers, aren’t we, Mary?MARY.That’s the best.LEONARD.Yes, Mary’s a mother. But what of you, poor thing? Look at us. Look at Edgar and me and Ada. Look at the finished product. What’s the good of it? What’s the good of being a mother when one’s children are grown up? I can understand Mary. I’ve watched her with the baby. There’s been something suppressed and killed in you.MARY.Don’t say these things to her.LEONARD.Failure is written on her face.MARY.Don’t, don’t.LEONARD.I’m at my best in saying such things.MARY.But they hurt her. You only care for yourself.LEONARD.She must be hurt. We’ve let her alone all these years. She ought to have revolted. She ought to be alive now.MRS. TIMBRELL.I remember you all as babies, as children. I’ve got the past.LEONARD.Was I always your favourite, mother?MRS. TIMBRELL.I won’t say that. [She listens for a moment to a distant sound.] Perhaps you’d better go.[EDGARenters.]EDGAR.Aren’t you coming, mother? It’s most awkward. There’ll be an awful row.MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes. Edgar, is it any use their coming? Mr. Pendleton was going to see whether—EDGAR.I don’t think it’s the slightest use. He’s boiling over.MARY.Oh! let us go.LEONARD.Come on. But look here. It’s no use our going home. Edgar, lend us a sovereign.EDGAR.You’d condescend to borrow from me, then?LEONARD.My dear fellow you don’t seem to understand that I’m magnanimous. [EDGARlaughs.] You think that’s a joke. You never see my jokes.EDGAR.I can’t stay.LEONARD.Have you any money about you, mother?MRS. TIMBRELL.[ToEDGAR.] Give it to him.LEONARD.Mother will repay you out of the housekeeping. [EDGARfumbles in his pocket.] Look here. Make it two pounds. Mary and I don’t often have a treat together. It’s a special occasion. We may as well do it handsome for once. What about the Savoy and a music-hall, Mary? You look the part fine. [His spirits are obviously rising.]MARY.I wonder if I’d not better go home.MRS. TIMBRELL.Go and enjoy yourself, my dear.[EDGARhands money toLEONARDwho looks at it.]LEONARD.Well, I’m damned. One pound ten.EDGAR.Quite enough, too.LEONARD.It’s not that I’m thinking of. It’s the extraordinary meanness of your character.[EnterADA.]ADA.Mother, do come. He says I’m to bring you or else the Family Bible.LEONARD.The devil!MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll come.[Curtain falls.]
[The same place. Nearly a year later. Christmas Eve. The room is decorated with evergreens, &c.TIMBRELLandEDGARdiscovered. They are in jackets and black ties, &c.]
TIMBRELL.[SurveyingEDGAR.] Yes, that’s right—black tie—You told Sheila to put on some half and half affair? Not full evening dress, you know. Of course I didn’t like to say anything to Leonard, but his wife’s a sensible girl—in some ways. She’ll manage to be—er—neat, you know. Bit of an ordeal for her, but I’m sure you and Sheila will do all you can to make it—er—pass off pleasantly.
EDGAR.Certainly, certainly.
[MRS. TIMBRELLenters. She wears the kind of afternoon gown that some ladies of the middle class wear in the evenings when they have not company.TIMBRELLscrutinises each lady as she enters with more or less approval.]
TIMBRELL.[Surveying his wife.] Yes, yes. By-the-bye, Edgar, you will take Mrs. Leonard in. I must take in Mrs. Pendleton of course. Pendleton, your Mother. Let’s see?
MRS. TIMBRELL.Oughtn’t you to take in Mary?
TIMBRELL.What’s that?
[ADAandSHEILAenter. They are not in evening dress but in a kind of compromise with which they are not content.]
ADA.[To her father.] I hope this will satisfy you.
TIMBRELL.[Surveying them.] Quite right. Very good. [To his wife.] What were you saying?
MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought that perhaps you ought to take Mary in.
TIMBRELL.Mary? Why?
MRS. TIMBRELL.Well, she’s the bride, I suppose. Of course, Sheila had her turn long ago.
TIMBRELL.The bride! [He is staggered but doesn’t know what to say.]
MRS. TIMBRELL.This little party is really in her honour.
TIMBRELL.In her honour. [He repeats it helplessly.]
ADA.Really, Mother, I think this is rather unnecessary.
SHEILA.Mrs. Pendleton would hardly expect to go after Mary.
[Entermaidservant.]
SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Pendleton.
[They enter—salutations, &c.MR. PENDLETONwears a swallow-tail, black tie, &c.MRS. PENDLETON,a ponderous compromise. They are a respectable middle-class couple.]
TIMBRELL.Well, well. How are you, Pendleton? Mrs. Pendleton, draw up to the fire. These young people are not here yet. Leonard never took much account of time. It’s very good of you to have come.
PENDLETON.Very happy indeed, I’m sure.
TIMBRELL.You see, Mrs. Pendleton, we thought—I’m sure you’ll understand—Christmas Eve, you know—and you and Pendleton such old friends. Of course we might have had just the family but they’ll take it as a bit of a compliment to meet you. You know how it is—I needn’t explain—They haven’t been here yet. You’ll quite understand.
MRS. PENDLETON.Don’t say any more about it, Mr. Timbrell. I’m sure you’re behaving very well and we’re very glad—very glad.
TIMBRELL.Yes, and do you know, I believe the marriage is not going to turn out so badly after all. She’ll make a man of him. I was very firm about it. However, we won’t go into that now.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you know my daughter-in-law, Mrs. Pendleton?
MRS. PENDLETON.[Turning toSHEILA.] Oh, yes, I’ve had the pleasure—
MRS. TIMBRELL.I didn’t mean Sheila; I meant Mary—Mrs. Leonard.
MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! well—know her? I—that is—
MRS. TIMBRELL.She was the best housemaid I ever had.
TIMBRELL.Well, well, I think it’s turning frosty again. What are you paying for coals now, Pendleton?
[Entermaidservant.]
SERVANT.Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Timbrell.
[LEONARDandMARYenter. He is in evening dress with a white waistcoat and white tie.MARYwears a low dress, not a very elaborate one but quite simple and pretty. The others look at them in some consternation.]
TIMBRELL.Tut! tut! Oh! this is all wrong.
MRS. TIMBRELL.[Laughing a little as she goes forward toMARY.] Well, Mary, you are a swell.
MARY.I didn’t want to be like this. [She turns rather distressfully to her husband who looks round at the company. General, rather stiff greetings.]
LEONARD.We seem to have committed a slight error of judgment. I have, I mean. Mary, you have a sound social instinct. I can never tell whatthese bourgeois people will do. And mind you [holding out his hand deprecatingly.]—I use the word simply and inoffensively. You understand that, Mrs. Pendleton. I’m an outsider.
EDGAR.You mean a bounder?
LEONARD.Quite good, Edgar, if you could only get a pleasant tone into your voice. As you say it it’s so bad socially. And how are you, Sheila?
SHEILA.I’m quite well, thank you.
LEONARD.Chilly, chilly. Mother, you’ve got an awkward job this evening.
TIMBRELL.Don’t be absurd, sir.
[MRS. TIMBRELLandMARYretire up the stage and sit down together.ADAandSHEILAalso converse together in whispers withMRS. PENDLETON.The four men are to the front.]
PENDLETON.And what are you doing with yourself now, Leonard?
LEONARD.Still at the old game, sir; still at the old game.
PENDLETON.Indeed! What’s that?
LEONARD.Well, do you know I had to fill up my census paper the other day and I was rather bothered to describe myself. Of course I’m a literary man but that hardly seems to cover the ground. I’m really a kind of sponge but that doesn’t rank as a regular trade.
TIMBRELL.You’ll make nothing of him, Pendleton, when he’s in this humour.
EDGAR.Why can’t you talk simply instead of spouting all this rot?
LEONARD.You are always baffled when I tell the truth.
EDGAR.It somehow ceases to be the truth when you tell it.
LEONARD.Good. You see how my family is prejudiced against me, Mr. Pendleton. My virtues are not virtues, my white is black. My only chance is to put myself right by committing a crime. Then I should command sympathy, my family would begin to understand me. Mr. Pendleton, won’t you consider these preliminaries over and give me a little assistance? I want something to do. Give me a place in your office.
PENDLETON.[Rather alarmed.] But, my dear boy, I’m afraid—I hardly think—
LEONARD.[Burlesque so slight as to be hardly perceptible toPENDLETON.] Give me a chance, sir. I’ve a wife and family.
PENDLETON.[Laughing uneasily.] You’re clever enough, I believe.
TIMBRELL.He wouldn’t do for an office boy.
LEONARD.That’s perfectly true. Most of the business men I have met would do for it very well.
EDGAR.You’d better try the music-hall stage.
LEONARD.Now that’s quite a helpful suggestion. That’s an idea, Edgar. Humbugs like myself make good actors.
TIMBRELL.—You are not serious, sir.
LEONARD.Hardly. No.
PENDLETON.I’ve heard that Harry Lauder got—how much a week was it—when he—? something astonishing. Why, sir, there are very few merchants in the city of London who make as much.
LEONARD.[Reflecting.] The music-halls. Mary! [Deep in talk withMRS. TIMBRELLshe doesn’t hear.] No matter.
PENDLETON.They’ve something better to talk about.
LEONARD.When I see two women talking like that I always think it must be about the servant question.
EDGAR.I say! What infernally bad taste!
TIMBRELL.[Breaking impatiently away.] My dear, isn’t dinner ready?
LEONARD.Where’s the fatted calf?
MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! dear! Ring the bell, somebody. [Somebody rings the bell.] Mrs. Pendleton, I’m very remiss but this is a family party, you know. Mary was telling me about the baby.
MRS. PENDLETON.You must let me come and see it, my dear. [ToADA.] Is it a boy or a girl?
ADA.It’s a—it’s a— [She looks atSHEILA.]
SHEILA.} { Boy.
} [Together.]
MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Girl.
LEONARD.It’s a very remarkable baby.
MRS. PENDLETON.[ToMRS. TIMBRELL.] A boy. How very nice. And what have you called him?
MARY.Leonard.
MRS. PENDLETON.Right, my dear. I think the eldest son ought always to be called after his father.
LEONARD.Confusing for the historian.
[Entermaidservant.]
MRS. TIMBRELL.Oh! Beryl, isn’t dinner ready.
MAID.If you please, ma’am, there’s been rather a little accident in the dining-room.
MRS. TIMBRELL.} { Oh! dear! What’s that?
} [Together.]
ADA.} { An accident!
MAID.Well, the soot came down the chimney just now and it’s made such a mess. We’re just clearing it away but it’s a job. We’ll have to change the tablecloth.
MARY.[Who has taken a great interest in this.] That damper wants a bit of coaxing but I expect it’s the coals. [ToTIMBRELL,reproachfully.] You’ve not gone back to those cheap coals again, sir? They do make such a lot of soot.
TIMBRELL.Well—er—
MRS. TIMBRELL.You would do it, you know. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Does your husband come and shew you how to save money in the house?
MRS. PENDLETON.I’d like to see him try.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’m afraid I don’t stand up against him. I’m very weak. Well, get things straight as soon as you can, Beryl.
MAID. Yes, ma’am. It’ll be a little time yet. I’m afraid. [She goes out.]
MRS. PENDLETON.What did you call her?
MRS. TIMBRELL.Beryl.
MRS. PENDLETON.Well, I never.
MRS. TIMBRELL.She said that was her name.
TIMBRELL.I told you, my dear, that it was quite unsuitable.
MRS. TIMBRELL.She seemed to like the name.
TIMBRELL.I suggested Jane.
LEONARD.Ah! you may interfere about coals but not in things that matter like this. Of course Beryl is abominable but when you know that Mother let the poor girl stick to it—why! then it’s charming.
EDGAR.Well, we’ve a little time to put in, it seems. Mrs. Pendleton, you haven’t seen the album that Sheila and I made up when we were honeymooning. We took a lot and bought some. [He gets out album and shows photographs.SHEILAandADAhover about.]
TIMBRELL.[Looking at his watch.] Very annoying.
PENDLETON.Don’t you bother.
TIMBRELL.[With an effort at geniality.] Well, Mary, my girl. It’s a shame to keep you waiting.
MARY.It doesn’t matter a bit, sir.
TIMBRELL.[Testily.] Don’t call me Sir.
MARY.No, sir—I mean No, Mr. Timbrell.
LEONARD.Call him Daddy. She calls me Sir sometimes. I rather like it. It feeds my vanity. What I like about Mary is that she has none of that absurd pretence that woman is the equal of man.
ADA.What nonsense!
SHEILA.He always does talk nonsense.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I expect Mary keeps you in good order at home. Do you Mary? Is he behaving nicely?
MARY.I think so sometimes.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Now what does that mean?
MARY.I find it so hard to understand him.
LEONARD.She’s simple. I’m ironical. I can’t get out of the habit.
MARY.I’m stupid and I can only judge by what he does.
LEONARD.Ay, ay. That’s the devil. It’s explanations I’m good at—not doing things.
MARY.But I don’t understand the explanations.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Poor Mary.
MARY.Did you understand him?
MRS. TIMBRELL.He thinks I didn’t. But I’m afraid all this will not interest our friends. We don’t let Mr. Pendleton have a word.
PENDLETON.Oh! don’t mind me, ma’am. I’m all right.
LEONARD.And Mrs. Pendleton’s all right, I’m sure. She’s got her eye on us. Of course, you know, Mrs. Pendleton, that Mary and I are—well—we’re rather on show here. This is a social experiment. Now, why not go deeper into it? Mary’s manners are quite nice. Anybody can see that. The housemaid’s manners are always better than those of the daughter of the house. Now, father, keep quiet. My manners are what they always have been. You see my point is that the questionwhether we shall behave nicely on pleasant little family occasions isn’t interesting. If you are really interested in Mary and me let’s try to go a little deeper into things.
TIMBRELL.Perfect rubbish!
LEONARD.It’s your weak point, sir. If I haven’t pointed it out before I ought to have done—you will meet everything with exclamations and interjections. Conversation can’t be carried on like that. There must be some reasonable way of looking at me. I may be an extraordinary specimen, but you ought to get used to me.
PENDLETON.Never mind, Leonard, my boy, I was a bit eccentric myself when I was young. I wanted to go on the stage.
LEONARD.I never wanted to go on the stage. I’m ready if they’ll give me Harry Lauder’s salary.
PENDLETON.Do you know what my old father did? He gave me a good hiding and I’ve been all the better for it.
LEONARD.How do you know?
PENDLETON.[With a shrug that is half exhibition.] Well—
LEONARD.I can hardly blame fathers. They are in an impossible position. They pretend to teach and they ought to learn.
TIMBRELL.Who makes the position impossible? You and Edgar were treated alike—up to a certain point. I never allowed any favouritism; what one got the other got. There was never the slightest difference—
LEONARD.But why should you treat us alike when we were totally different?
TIMBRELL.Up to a point, I said.
LEONARD.[Surveying his brother.] And this is the success. I might have been like this if I’d tried.
TIMBRELL.I was always ready to take a reasonable and a liberal point of view.
LEONARD.Ah! You Liberals. It’s feeling that you’re so jolly liberal that confirms you in your wickedness.
TIMBRELL.Wickedness!
LEONARD.A rhetorical term of course.
TIMBRELL.[With real dejection.] I do my best but I can’t understand your language. You puzzle me, my boy.
LEONARD.Don’t mind me, sir. I’m a rotter.
MRS. TIMBRELL.You want your dinner, Leonard.
LEONARD.Well, well, little mother. I’d like to know what you think about it all.
MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s a wild boy, Mary.
MARY.He can be very sensible if he likes.
LEONARD.Don’t deny me my wildness. Don’t make me out a sham.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Wild, wild.
LEONARD.And where does it come from? How do I get it? Mr. Pendleton, who are the wild people here?
PENDLETON.Nay, my boy. I’m not up to your tricks and turns.
LEONARD.I’ll tell you. Mary and my mother—they’re very much alike.
TIMBRELL.I think we’ll leave this subject.
EDGAR.You won’t get him away from himself.
LEONARD.Brother, brother, I’ll be silent if you’ve anything worth saying.
MARY.You shouldn’t say I’m like your Mother.
LEONARD.But you are.
MARY.You make me unhappy.
LEONARD.Then I shouldn’t say it. But you are.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’d be glad to think that I’m like you, Mary.
MARY.It’s all unhappy for me. I spoil everything.
ADA.It isn’t your fault.
MARY.[ToADA.] You want to blame it all on him. That’s no use. It isn’t all him.
SHEILA.We want to be kind to you.
MARY.It doesn’t matter about me. I’d rather you were down on me and kind to him. This is his family. And I’m not comfortable ma’am and it’s partly this dress and I wonder if you would mind if I went home and you’d all get on better together. I spoil everything.
MRS. TIMBRELL.You silly girl; you spoil nothing and you’re as good as gold and we all like you.
ADA.You mustn’t go, and the dress looks very nice.
SHEILA.Very nice, indeed.
MRS. TIMBRELL.And you shall have a little shawl over your shoulders if you like.
TIMBRELL.All we want is our dinner.
MARY.I’m sure you’re all very kind—but—
LEONARD.We’re getting on fine now.
EDGAR.You see, you’ve been out of the conversation for about two minutes.
LEONARD.Is that it, brother?
EDGAR.What’s this trick of calling me brother?
LEONARD.I’m tasting the relationship. There’s a certain piquancy in calling you brother.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Leonard, you won’t quarrel with your brother.
LEONARD.No. And yet he’s one of the men I could quarrel with. Once or twice I’ve been angry with Edgar. I’ve had the true intoxication of anger. [ToEDGAR.] Do you know it? It’s a delirious joy. Your brain streams out like a scarlet banner.
EDGAR.You quarrelled over trifles.
LEONARD.Yes, they would do. Our differences were deep.
TIMBRELL.Well, Pendleton. I hope you’re having a pleasant evening.
MRS. PENDLETON.Oh! we don’t count this little bit of time before dinner.
PENDLETON.I don’t like brothers to quarrel, though. I hope you young fellows will make it up before the evening’s out.
MRS. PENDLETON.Well, you’ve got two very different sons, Mrs. Timbrell.
PENDLETON.Leave that, Maria.
LEONARD.Which favours the mother, Mrs. Pendleton?
MRS. PENDLETON.Why, Mr. Edgar.
LEONARD.No—no. You wouldn’t say that, Mother.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve not said it. I’ve never said it.
LEONARD.[Takes his Mother by the shoulders.] You’ve borne two sons little mother. How did you manage to make them so different? By God! You’re nearer to me; you’re more like me. And like Mary; I tell you, you’re like Mary. A strain of wildness. Yes. Where does my wildness come from? It comes from you. [He shakes her gently.] I know you. Oh! you’re demure. I know you. I wonder what you were before you became a respectable married woman. Ah! you cunning little one. You’ve doubled and turned in your time; you’ve—
TIMBRELL.Stop, stop.
EDGAR.Monstrous.
PENDLETON.By Jove! this is too much.
[LEONARDturns to regard them. He and his Mother are surrounded by indignant, half-menacing figures.]
TIMBRELL.Take your hands from her.
EDGAR.Turn the blackguard out.
TIMBRELL.I can’t believe—I can’t understand—this fellow is too much for me.
PENDLETON.He’s too much for any of us.
LEONARD.[He looks again at his mother. She is very still and droops a little.] Mother! What did I say? Have I made a mistake? Have I hurt you? I wouldn’t do that. [He allows her to sink into a chair.]
MARY.How could you say such things?
LEONARD.What did I say?
MARY.You made her out—no better than me.
MRS. PENDLETON.Hush! Hush!
TIMBRELL.I wouldn’t have said it but since she has—You dare to suggest that your mother is no better than your wife?
PENDLETON.Now, come, Timbrell; that’s not the way to put it.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Mary is good enough for me.
TIMBRELL.That isn’t the point. Don’t you yourself resent—didn’t you hear what he said?
MRS. TIMBRELL.I thought he was a little cruel.
LEONARD.But who cares for you in this family as I do.
ADA.Who cares less? Who would treat her so abominably?
EDGAR.My mother is to me an immaculate saint. To you—
LEONARD.What do I care for immaculate saints? What good are they to me? My mother’s a strange woman. She has all kinds of curious reserves and she lives among you quite like one of yourselves.
MARY.I will say this. He has always spoken beautifully about her.
LEONARD.Bravo! Mary. Stand up for me.
TIMBRELL.I don’t wish to act hastily—I have tried hard to control myself—
LEONARD.Oh! be natural, sir. Be natural.
TIMBRELL.Go down on your knees, sir, and beg your Mother’s pardon.
LEONARD.Certainly, if she wishes it.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I do not wish it.
TIMBRELL.Do you realise what he said about you?
MRS. TIMBRELL.He’s very clever. No doubt there’s some truth in it.
TIMBRELL.Some truth? Some truth? Do you mean to say—I don’t understand you. I don’t like to ask you what you mean—I—
PENDLETON.Now, Timbrell, I think we’d better leave it here. [ToMRS. PENDLETON.] Don’t you think so, Maria?
MRS. PENDLETON.I should want to carry it a little further in her place.
MRS. TIMBRELL.[Having quite recovered.] Would anybody like to ask me any questions?
PENDLETON.[Shocked.] Questions?
MRS. TIMBRELL.About my early life. [She gives a sad little laugh.]
PENDLETON.Questions! My dear madam—
TIMBRELL.This is painful. This is quite impossible. [To his wife.] I cannot understand you. I suppose you are trying to screen him.
MARY.He always speaks of his mother beautifully.
LEONARD.And why shouldn’t I when I admire her immensely? Why can’t you people be natural and let me be natural? I say there’s a strange,mysterious, incalculable being behind her placid mask and you want to make out I mean something beastly. How have you stood it all these years, mother? And they never seem to have found you out.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you think I’ve found myself out?
LEONARD.You’ve found the other people out and that’s very much the same thing. I tell you what—you ought to come and live with me and Mary.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Nonsense.
LEONARD.It would be tremendously fine if you did that. After all these years—it would be magnificent.
EDGAR.Is this to go on?
TIMBRELL.No. I’m exceedingly sorry, Pendleton, that you and Mrs. Pendleton should be in such a scene. [ToLEONARD.] I’ll ask you to leave the house. Mary may stay if she pleases.
LEONARD.But I want my dinner.
TIMBRELL.You can get your dinner at home.
LEONARD.Mary?
MARY.There’s not much. I’ll go with you.
PENDLETON.Now look here, Timbrell—
TIMBRELL.Not a word. [ToLEONARD.] And I’ve something to say to you before you go.
LEONARD.I’m afraid it’s something nasty.
TIMBRELL.Yes, sir. It’s something nasty. I’ve been making you an allowance at the rate of three hundred a year. It will stop at once.
LEONARD.[Alarmed.] Here! You can’t do that.
TIMBRELL.Can’t I? I will.
LEONARD.But it wouldn’t be cricket. You couldn’t possibly do that. How are we to live without it?
TIMBRELL.That’s your business.
LEONARD.You made me marry Mary. It was the condition—the condition was implied—
TIMBRELL.Silence! You forget we are not alone.
LEONARD.Oh! What’s the use of these disguises? They know all about it. Let us accept what’s past. Mrs. Pendleton, I needn’t make any apologies. All this must be frightfully interesting to you. Mr. Pendleton, I shall want your help. I put it to you as an honest business man—but you’re joking, sir; you’re joking. [LEONARDhas become more serious than he has been.]
TIMBRELL.You’ll see whether I’m joking.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Do you intend to punish Mary, too?
TIMBRELL.I shall allow her—[considering] I shall allow her two pounds a week and see that it is paid to her.
MRS. TIMBRELL.What you propose is unfair. You can’t do it.
TIMBRELL.Perhaps you would like to go and live with them as he proposes?
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ve no income. You’ve never paid my wages.
TIMBRELL.Wages!
MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes, there’s something in what these suffrage people say. I’m at your mercy I suppose. So is Leonard, so is Ada. I suppose Edgar is getting out of your clutches.
TIMBRELL.Do you think to gain your point by talk like this?
MRS. TIMBRELL.No. This is for my own satisfaction. I’m vexed with you.
TIMBRELL.You didn’t think that I gave any credence to that boy’s abominable suggestions?
LEONARD.Please don’t talk about that now. There’s something more serious to consider.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Don’t talk about it now, either.
LEONARD.I don’t see how we can talk about anything else. We must have an income. Mr. Pendleton, I appeal to you—
PENDLETON.Nay, let him calm down.
TIMBRELL.I shall not calm down. I am perfectly calm. The fellow shall suffer. It will do him good.
MRS. TIMBRELL.And Mary and the child must suffer.
MRS. PENDLETON.Ah! now, Mr. Timbrell—your grandchild.
MARY.He hasn’t seen him.
MRS. PENDLETON.Not seen him! Ah! Mr. Timbrell, you’re the one that’s to blame.
TIMBRELL.Really, madam, I can’t discuss the matter with you. I’ve said what I mean to do.
EDGAR.It’s about time this dinner was ready, isn’t it?
LEONARD.And to think that all this bother is through a confounded chimney! We might have been comfortably at table, with incomes secure. What do you think of the Governor’s proposal, Edgar—as a business man?
EDGAR.Don’t talk to me.
LEONARD.No, brother.
TIMBRELL.[Bouncing from the chair on which he had seated himself.] I tell you I will not stand—
[Entermaidservant.]
MAID.Dinner is served.
[Those who are seated rise hesitatingly.TIMBRELLglares about him and then offers his arm toMRS. PENDLETONwho accompanies him out of the room.SHEILAandADAfollow.EDGARoffers his arm toMARY, who shakes her head.PENDLETONoffers his arm toMRS. TIMBRELL.]
MRS. TIMBRELL.Excuse me for a moment. [She turns toMARYandLEONARD.] What are you going to do?
LEONARD.Well, we don’t seem to be wanted here.
PENDLETON.Better all come.
MARY.I want to go home.
LEONARD.Yes, it’s all right for you when you get to your baby.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll follow you Mr. Pendleton.
PENDLETON.Well, I’ll just see what Timbrell’s up to now. [He goes out.]
MRS. TIMBRELL.I think you had better not stay.
MARY.No, let us go.
LEONARD.I’ve made a mess of it, mother.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Never mind that.
LEONARD.No. That doesn’t matter. But I’ve hurt you. I’ve shaken you. You look pale and queer now. I’ve no reverence. I’m selfish. But I can sympathise. Do you see that? I understand you better than anyone does, mother. I know you better, I like you more. You don’t properly exist without me. Did I say some horrible things about you? I really don’t know what I meant. It was a kind of inspiration. Oh! yes. I know the proper things to say about one’s mother.
MRS. TIMBRELL.But I’m a mother like the rest.
MARY.He doesn’t understand that. He wants to see all sorts of things in you.
MRS. TIMBRELL.We’re just mothers, aren’t we, Mary?
MARY.That’s the best.
LEONARD.Yes, Mary’s a mother. But what of you, poor thing? Look at us. Look at Edgar and me and Ada. Look at the finished product. What’s the good of it? What’s the good of being a mother when one’s children are grown up? I can understand Mary. I’ve watched her with the baby. There’s been something suppressed and killed in you.
MARY.Don’t say these things to her.
LEONARD.Failure is written on her face.
MARY.Don’t, don’t.
LEONARD.I’m at my best in saying such things.
MARY.But they hurt her. You only care for yourself.
LEONARD.She must be hurt. We’ve let her alone all these years. She ought to have revolted. She ought to be alive now.
MRS. TIMBRELL.I remember you all as babies, as children. I’ve got the past.
LEONARD.Was I always your favourite, mother?
MRS. TIMBRELL.I won’t say that. [She listens for a moment to a distant sound.] Perhaps you’d better go.
[EDGARenters.]
EDGAR.Aren’t you coming, mother? It’s most awkward. There’ll be an awful row.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Yes. Edgar, is it any use their coming? Mr. Pendleton was going to see whether—
EDGAR.I don’t think it’s the slightest use. He’s boiling over.
MARY.Oh! let us go.
LEONARD.Come on. But look here. It’s no use our going home. Edgar, lend us a sovereign.
EDGAR.You’d condescend to borrow from me, then?
LEONARD.My dear fellow you don’t seem to understand that I’m magnanimous. [EDGARlaughs.] You think that’s a joke. You never see my jokes.
EDGAR.I can’t stay.
LEONARD.Have you any money about you, mother?
MRS. TIMBRELL.[ToEDGAR.] Give it to him.
LEONARD.Mother will repay you out of the housekeeping. [EDGARfumbles in his pocket.] Look here. Make it two pounds. Mary and I don’t often have a treat together. It’s a special occasion. We may as well do it handsome for once. What about the Savoy and a music-hall, Mary? You look the part fine. [His spirits are obviously rising.]
MARY.I wonder if I’d not better go home.
MRS. TIMBRELL.Go and enjoy yourself, my dear.
[EDGARhands money toLEONARDwho looks at it.]
LEONARD.Well, I’m damned. One pound ten.
EDGAR.Quite enough, too.
LEONARD.It’s not that I’m thinking of. It’s the extraordinary meanness of your character.
[EnterADA.]
ADA.Mother, do come. He says I’m to bring you or else the Family Bible.
LEONARD.The devil!
MRS. TIMBRELL.I’ll come.
[Curtain falls.]