XXII.
If you have children, who are clever, do not question them too closely in company. Supposing, for example, that at the close of a social meal in the country, you should be sitting at table with your guests, on the eve of their departure from your hospitable roof: if, under these circumstances, some nice little fellow, who has lately rushed into the room, and is now busily employed with a bunch of grapes, should be called upon by you to join in the general expression of regret that your friends are to leave you to-morrow, he may perhaps say, "Yes, papa, we shall have no grapes after dinner to-morrow."
XXIII.
If you are thought to excel in any particular game or sport, do not too often lead to it as a subject of conversation: your superiority, if real, will be duly felt by all your acquaintance, and acknowledged by some ofthem; and you may be sure that "a word" in your favour from another person will add more to your reputation than "a whole history" from yourself.
XXIV.
On seeing a new invention for the first time, do not instantly suggest a material alteration of it, as if you felt quite sure that this sudden thought of yours must be a very clever one. It may be reasonably supposed that the inventor did not hastily build up his work in its present form; and it would, therefore, be very unkind that you should bring the whole broadside of your intellectual guns to bear upon it in a moment. Besides, after all, it is just possible that the thing may be better as it is—without your improvement.
XXV.
The great merit of an important discovery frequently consists in the first application ofsome well-known principle of action to a class of objects to which it had not before been applied. When such discovery has been brought before the public in one instance, the application of the same principle to other nearly similar objects requires a much lower degree of inventive talent. A sub-inventor of this sort often views the result of his labour with all the pride of a mother, when he is only entitled to the praise due to an accoucheur.
XXVI.
When your friends congratulate you on your recovery from the effects of a serious accident, it is very proper that you should thank them sincerely for their kindness in so doing: but it is by no means necessary that you should give a very detailed description of all your sufferings, and of every symptom attending the gradual progress of your recovery; nor need you explain exactly what wasat first said by Mr. Drugger, the apothecary, and what was afterwards the opinion of Sir Astley Cooper. You had better not do this; although some persons think that what the nurse occasionally said ought not, in a case like theirs, to be omitted.
XXVII.
On the same principle, if you should have lately been robbed, and should feel disposed to communicate the particulars of this sad affair, you really must not begin your account of it by telling us every thing which you were dreaming about just before you first heard the noise of thieves in your house on the eventful night of the robbery, adding always in conclusion, by way of appendix to your copious narrative, a correct list of the articles stolen. If you do this too often, you must not be surprised if some of your hearers should at last be almost tempted to regret that when you were robbed you were not murdered also.
XXVIII.
If it should be mentioned in conversation that a celebrated mare, belonging to Mr. Swindle, of Newmarket, has lately trotted sixteen miles within the hour, in harness, do not think it necessary to recount the wonderful performances of a famous gig-horse which you once had.
XXIX.
After having lost several games at billiards, when you are playing at a gentleman's house, it is not polite that you should attribute your failure to the inaccuracies of the table. These sundry defects of level are less likely to be complained of by the winner than by you; and he, therefore, stands less in need of this caution than you do.
XXX.
When the lord of the manor is showing the beauties of his house and grounds to you, and points out a very fine row of trees foryour particular admiration, make no allusion to the magnificence of the avenue at Wimpole; and if he should afterwards show to you one of his pictures, which he values highly as the work of some celebrated master, remember that, although you may have been told privately, by a good authority, that the picture is not really what your friend supposes it to be, you are not called upon to display your borrowed knowledge as your own, and to make yourself odious by endeavouring to convince him that he has been deceived in the purchase.
XXXI.
Do not bestow extravagant praise upon every article lately bought by you, as if you considered that it had acquired increased value from having fallen into the hands of so distinguished a purchaser. Other persons will estimate the worth of it rather by its own merits than by yours.
XXXII.
It is quite unnecessary that you should always, in order to show the extent of your reading, claim a previous acquaintance with every expression which may be referred to in conversation as having been used by some celebrated author in one of his works. It is much easier for another person to quote lines which never were written than it would be for you to find them.[J]
XXXIII.
Do not consider it to be at all times your bounden duty to correct every mistake which may be made in your presence as to a name or an unimportant date. Some persons are so extremely sensitive on these points that they never allow the offender to escape a summary conviction. However interesting the conversation may be, they always feel justified in interrupting it if they can show thatthe anecdote which they have cut short related to the late General A., and not to his brother the admiral.
XXXIV.
If one of your party should be prevailed upon to sing a comic song for the amusement of the company, he will of course do it as well as he can, and it would not be flattering to him that you should immediately afterwards talk about the great pleasure which you formerly derived from hearing the same song sung by Mathews, or Bannister.
XXXV.
Beware of the amiable weakness of repeatedly telling long stories about your late father or uncle. They may have been excellent persons, and their memory may be deservedly respected by you; but it does not therefore necessarily follow that a full account of everything which was said or done by either of these worthy men on some trivial occasionshould be very interesting to other people, not even to such of your friends as may be lucky enough not to have heard it before.
XXXVI.
If you should have lately suffered any great reduction of income from causes over which you had no control, it is better that you should bear your misfortunes quietly than that you should be very extensively communicative to your acquaintance on the subject of your grievances. If, for instance, you tell them in confidence that you now have only 600l.a-year to live upon, such of them as have but 500l.will perhaps think that you still have at least 100l.more than you ought to have.
XXXVII.
Do not think yourself an accomplished traveller merely because you have visited places where youmighthave acquired muchinformation. Many a man has passed some time in a foreign town without learning more about the beauties of its cathedral or the manners and customs of its inhabitants than was previously known to others through the instructive medium of a book and pair of spectacles at home; and therefore although you may have really been at Rome, and may have actually seen with your own eyes both the Apollo Belvidere and Raphael's Transfiguration, you must not, on that account only, consider yourself qualified to take a leading part in every conversation on subjects connected with the fine arts.
XXXVIII.
Many persons who are possessed of much information have a tedious and unconnected way of imparting it. Such men are like dictionaries, very instructive if opened in the right place, but rather fatiguing to read throughout.
XXXIX.
The foundation of good breeding is the absence of selfishness. By acting always on this principle—by showing forbearance and moderation in argument when you feel sure that you are right, and a becoming diffidence when you are in doubt, you will avoid many of the errors which other men are apt to fall into.
XL.
Artists, medical men, and engineers are much to be feared by those persons who are apt to talk a little sometimes on matters which they do not very well understand. If, reader, you are, like me, subject to this infirmity, mind what you are about when any professional men are present.
R. P.
Whitehall, February, 1842.
London: Printed byWilliam ClowesandSons, Stamford Street
FOOTNOTES:[A]It was a long one, when he talked about fishing.[B]There the fish did notlie, but the miller did. He well knew that, since the letting of the fishery, his son had taken good care that the best of them should be gradually removed to Billingsgate by a more summary process than that of rod and line.[C]Neither did Mr. Jackson think it necessary to explain to the ladies, or even to his friend Thompson, that the very fine fish, about which he had received so many compliments, had been taken by fixing his landing-net at the mouth of one of the narrow water-courses, up which they had worked their way in search of minnows;—a secret method of ensuring good sport, well known to some few very cunning anglers, whose motto is"Unde habeas quærit Nemo, sed oportet habere."—Juv.[D]I understand that Thompson has written a long letter, complaining of my not having given any maxim or hint on this important point. I beg leave here to apologise for the omission; and I have no hesitation in advising him, if he should ever put his rod together again, not to omit taking it to pieces as soon as he has done fishing.[E]Piscium et summâ genus hæsit ulmo.—Hor.[F]Infandum Regina jubes renovare dolorem.[G]Acting on this principle, I was once supposed to have killed a brace less than nothing, viz., I went out partridge shooting with two other persons. At the end of the day one of these said that he had killed twelve brace, and the other claimed eleven brace. When the birds were afterwards counted, the number of them was forty-four. I therefore conclude that the brace which was wanting must have been considered as my share of the day's sport.[H]"Whose iron scourge and torturing hourThe badextract, and cleanthe best."[I]"Thus fell two heroes, one the pride of Thrace,And one the leader of the Epeian race;Death's sable shade at once o'ercast their eyes:In dish, the vanquish'd and the victor lies."Pope says, "In dust."[J]e. g.Vide quotation,p. 56.
[A]It was a long one, when he talked about fishing.
[A]It was a long one, when he talked about fishing.
[B]There the fish did notlie, but the miller did. He well knew that, since the letting of the fishery, his son had taken good care that the best of them should be gradually removed to Billingsgate by a more summary process than that of rod and line.
[B]There the fish did notlie, but the miller did. He well knew that, since the letting of the fishery, his son had taken good care that the best of them should be gradually removed to Billingsgate by a more summary process than that of rod and line.
[C]Neither did Mr. Jackson think it necessary to explain to the ladies, or even to his friend Thompson, that the very fine fish, about which he had received so many compliments, had been taken by fixing his landing-net at the mouth of one of the narrow water-courses, up which they had worked their way in search of minnows;—a secret method of ensuring good sport, well known to some few very cunning anglers, whose motto is"Unde habeas quærit Nemo, sed oportet habere."—Juv.
[C]Neither did Mr. Jackson think it necessary to explain to the ladies, or even to his friend Thompson, that the very fine fish, about which he had received so many compliments, had been taken by fixing his landing-net at the mouth of one of the narrow water-courses, up which they had worked their way in search of minnows;—a secret method of ensuring good sport, well known to some few very cunning anglers, whose motto is
"Unde habeas quærit Nemo, sed oportet habere."—Juv.
[D]I understand that Thompson has written a long letter, complaining of my not having given any maxim or hint on this important point. I beg leave here to apologise for the omission; and I have no hesitation in advising him, if he should ever put his rod together again, not to omit taking it to pieces as soon as he has done fishing.
[D]I understand that Thompson has written a long letter, complaining of my not having given any maxim or hint on this important point. I beg leave here to apologise for the omission; and I have no hesitation in advising him, if he should ever put his rod together again, not to omit taking it to pieces as soon as he has done fishing.
[E]Piscium et summâ genus hæsit ulmo.—Hor.
[E]Piscium et summâ genus hæsit ulmo.—Hor.
[F]Infandum Regina jubes renovare dolorem.
[F]Infandum Regina jubes renovare dolorem.
[G]Acting on this principle, I was once supposed to have killed a brace less than nothing, viz., I went out partridge shooting with two other persons. At the end of the day one of these said that he had killed twelve brace, and the other claimed eleven brace. When the birds were afterwards counted, the number of them was forty-four. I therefore conclude that the brace which was wanting must have been considered as my share of the day's sport.
[G]Acting on this principle, I was once supposed to have killed a brace less than nothing, viz., I went out partridge shooting with two other persons. At the end of the day one of these said that he had killed twelve brace, and the other claimed eleven brace. When the birds were afterwards counted, the number of them was forty-four. I therefore conclude that the brace which was wanting must have been considered as my share of the day's sport.
[H]"Whose iron scourge and torturing hourThe badextract, and cleanthe best."
[H]"Whose iron scourge and torturing hourThe badextract, and cleanthe best."
[I]"Thus fell two heroes, one the pride of Thrace,And one the leader of the Epeian race;Death's sable shade at once o'ercast their eyes:In dish, the vanquish'd and the victor lies."Pope says, "In dust."
[I]"Thus fell two heroes, one the pride of Thrace,And one the leader of the Epeian race;Death's sable shade at once o'ercast their eyes:In dish, the vanquish'd and the victor lies."
Pope says, "In dust."
[J]e. g.Vide quotation,p. 56.
[J]e. g.Vide quotation,p. 56.
Transcriber's Notes:The original text does not have a table of contents. One was created for this version.Obvious punctuation errors repaired.The remaining corrections made are indicated by dotted lines under the corrections. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text willappear.
The original text does not have a table of contents. One was created for this version.
Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
The remaining corrections made are indicated by dotted lines under the corrections. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text willappear.