I youst to bin a doketor vonce,Vat koored all kints ov gases;Und in my bragtis I have metA goot mainydeaferentfases.Vor dwendy milse round vere I leved,De beeple vas gwite seekly;Boud vonce a veek I galled arount,Und zo I vound um veekly.Soam vas seek mit vone decease,Und soam dey had anoder,Und soam you vooden't doght vood leveVrom one ent do de oder.Bud pooty soon I vound dot oudMy bocket book was dhry,Und also my oxpensaysVas runing oval high.So I vent oud gollecting;Bud aifery vere I vent,My batients vas oxhorseted,—Dey vas not vort a cendt.Und I vent und seed vone men,He vas briefing hees preath lasht;I doght de gwicker I got dot,De sooner it vas kashed.So I showed de men hees node,Und I dold heem do pay;Hees dime vas shoost up,Dot vos hees lasht tay.Hees hands vas in each bocked,Und dots vy I doght so sdrange;He died—und hees lasht vords vas,"I don'd veel ainy shange."Und vone sed do me, "Doketor,Howefer can I pay?You know dot I'm not aple—I'mvailingafery tay."Und anoder vailer dold me,"Shoost valk you ride avay;You got dot oll vat's due youVen comes de shoodgment-tay."I eshked vone men vor hees sheck,Id vas yoost pefore hees deadth;But I vound he hadn't no dime,He vas drawing hees lasht breadth.Und I founddish vashde drubble—Een my kase ainy vay—De beeple vot I doketoredHeddentcentsenoff to bay.You'f hurt dot goot old sayink,Verein dot goot pook says—I dink id combs out desewise—"Soam rools ken vork bote vays."Und so it ess mit de doketor;Of he eshkt a man to bay,Und he tails him, "I ken't do id,"Hees shoor to die dot day.I vent beck to my offus,Veeling dired dru und dru;Und togedder mit dese drubbleI vash med and shleeby doo.I lade down on de sofy,Und dried to haive a shnooze;Bud een a doketors' offus,Dot didn't vas no youse.I hurt soam kolling, "Doketor!"Und I run ub do my shbout,Und dese vords vent his ears down:"Vat's de metter mit your mout?"Und den dot failer holleret,—Hees woice vas shdrong und glear,Und dese vords vent de shpout oop,—"Dooce Dr. Sholtz leve hier?"Und gwickly beck my an-swearDot shbout vas goin dro:"Dr. Sholtz, dot vas my name, sir,Vat vood you hev me doo?""Now let me eshk you doketor;You shoore I'fe got dot righd?Ish your nameDr. Vriederick Sholtz?"Hee yelt mit oll hees mighd.I doght dot men was crazy—Oar meppy he vas dight.I sed, "Yaas—'tvas Doketor Vriederick Sholtz,Vat you vant dese dime off nighd?"Und I vas zo oxtonished,Bud de naixt dings vat I hear,Ven dot failer dold me, "Doketor,How long hev you leefed hier?"Un den I vas oxcited,I felt yooust like a row;I sed, "I'fe leefed hier dwendy years:Vat you vant, ainyhow?"Dot men he vas a villane,Und dot's yoost vat I kin brove;He singed oud to me lowdly,"Vat's de reason you dond moofe?"I run down dru de shdairvay,Und oud into de shdreed;Bud I only hurt de bavemendsKlattering fashd agenshd hees feed.I reely dink sooch ekshunsShoot not be oferlooked;Of I kood kaitch dot failer—Py cosh, hees coose vas kooked!Now I vood say doo de doketors,Yoost pefore id vas doo late,Dond naifer loose your batients,Und you'll suckseed fushtrate.No metter vots de reason,You naifer shood get vexed;You may loose your bay in dese vorldt,Bud you'll get id in de next.George M. Warren.
I youst to bin a doketor vonce,Vat koored all kints ov gases;Und in my bragtis I have metA goot mainydeaferentfases.Vor dwendy milse round vere I leved,De beeple vas gwite seekly;Boud vonce a veek I galled arount,Und zo I vound um veekly.Soam vas seek mit vone decease,Und soam dey had anoder,Und soam you vooden't doght vood leveVrom one ent do de oder.Bud pooty soon I vound dot oudMy bocket book was dhry,Und also my oxpensaysVas runing oval high.So I vent oud gollecting;Bud aifery vere I vent,My batients vas oxhorseted,—Dey vas not vort a cendt.Und I vent und seed vone men,He vas briefing hees preath lasht;I doght de gwicker I got dot,De sooner it vas kashed.So I showed de men hees node,Und I dold heem do pay;Hees dime vas shoost up,Dot vos hees lasht tay.Hees hands vas in each bocked,Und dots vy I doght so sdrange;He died—und hees lasht vords vas,"I don'd veel ainy shange."Und vone sed do me, "Doketor,Howefer can I pay?You know dot I'm not aple—I'mvailingafery tay."Und anoder vailer dold me,"Shoost valk you ride avay;You got dot oll vat's due youVen comes de shoodgment-tay."I eshked vone men vor hees sheck,Id vas yoost pefore hees deadth;But I vound he hadn't no dime,He vas drawing hees lasht breadth.Und I founddish vashde drubble—Een my kase ainy vay—De beeple vot I doketoredHeddentcentsenoff to bay.You'f hurt dot goot old sayink,Verein dot goot pook says—I dink id combs out desewise—"Soam rools ken vork bote vays."Und so it ess mit de doketor;Of he eshkt a man to bay,Und he tails him, "I ken't do id,"Hees shoor to die dot day.I vent beck to my offus,Veeling dired dru und dru;Und togedder mit dese drubbleI vash med and shleeby doo.I lade down on de sofy,Und dried to haive a shnooze;Bud een a doketors' offus,Dot didn't vas no youse.I hurt soam kolling, "Doketor!"Und I run ub do my shbout,Und dese vords vent his ears down:"Vat's de metter mit your mout?"Und den dot failer holleret,—Hees woice vas shdrong und glear,Und dese vords vent de shpout oop,—"Dooce Dr. Sholtz leve hier?"Und gwickly beck my an-swearDot shbout vas goin dro:"Dr. Sholtz, dot vas my name, sir,Vat vood you hev me doo?""Now let me eshk you doketor;You shoore I'fe got dot righd?Ish your nameDr. Vriederick Sholtz?"Hee yelt mit oll hees mighd.I doght dot men was crazy—Oar meppy he vas dight.I sed, "Yaas—'tvas Doketor Vriederick Sholtz,Vat you vant dese dime off nighd?"Und I vas zo oxtonished,Bud de naixt dings vat I hear,Ven dot failer dold me, "Doketor,How long hev you leefed hier?"Un den I vas oxcited,I felt yooust like a row;I sed, "I'fe leefed hier dwendy years:Vat you vant, ainyhow?"Dot men he vas a villane,Und dot's yoost vat I kin brove;He singed oud to me lowdly,"Vat's de reason you dond moofe?"I run down dru de shdairvay,Und oud into de shdreed;Bud I only hurt de bavemendsKlattering fashd agenshd hees feed.I reely dink sooch ekshunsShoot not be oferlooked;Of I kood kaitch dot failer—Py cosh, hees coose vas kooked!Now I vood say doo de doketors,Yoost pefore id vas doo late,Dond naifer loose your batients,Und you'll suckseed fushtrate.No metter vots de reason,You naifer shood get vexed;You may loose your bay in dese vorldt,Bud you'll get id in de next.George M. Warren.
I youst to bin a doketor vonce,Vat koored all kints ov gases;Und in my bragtis I have metA goot mainydeaferentfases.
Vor dwendy milse round vere I leved,De beeple vas gwite seekly;Boud vonce a veek I galled arount,Und zo I vound um veekly.
Soam vas seek mit vone decease,Und soam dey had anoder,Und soam you vooden't doght vood leveVrom one ent do de oder.
Bud pooty soon I vound dot oudMy bocket book was dhry,Und also my oxpensaysVas runing oval high.
So I vent oud gollecting;Bud aifery vere I vent,My batients vas oxhorseted,—Dey vas not vort a cendt.
Und I vent und seed vone men,He vas briefing hees preath lasht;I doght de gwicker I got dot,De sooner it vas kashed.
So I showed de men hees node,Und I dold heem do pay;Hees dime vas shoost up,Dot vos hees lasht tay.
Hees hands vas in each bocked,Und dots vy I doght so sdrange;He died—und hees lasht vords vas,"I don'd veel ainy shange."
Und vone sed do me, "Doketor,Howefer can I pay?You know dot I'm not aple—I'mvailingafery tay."
Und anoder vailer dold me,"Shoost valk you ride avay;You got dot oll vat's due youVen comes de shoodgment-tay."
I eshked vone men vor hees sheck,Id vas yoost pefore hees deadth;But I vound he hadn't no dime,He vas drawing hees lasht breadth.
Und I founddish vashde drubble—Een my kase ainy vay—De beeple vot I doketoredHeddentcentsenoff to bay.
You'f hurt dot goot old sayink,Verein dot goot pook says—I dink id combs out desewise—"Soam rools ken vork bote vays."
Und so it ess mit de doketor;Of he eshkt a man to bay,Und he tails him, "I ken't do id,"Hees shoor to die dot day.
I vent beck to my offus,Veeling dired dru und dru;Und togedder mit dese drubbleI vash med and shleeby doo.
I lade down on de sofy,Und dried to haive a shnooze;Bud een a doketors' offus,Dot didn't vas no youse.
I hurt soam kolling, "Doketor!"Und I run ub do my shbout,Und dese vords vent his ears down:"Vat's de metter mit your mout?"
Und den dot failer holleret,—Hees woice vas shdrong und glear,Und dese vords vent de shpout oop,—"Dooce Dr. Sholtz leve hier?"
Und gwickly beck my an-swearDot shbout vas goin dro:"Dr. Sholtz, dot vas my name, sir,Vat vood you hev me doo?"
"Now let me eshk you doketor;You shoore I'fe got dot righd?Ish your nameDr. Vriederick Sholtz?"Hee yelt mit oll hees mighd.
I doght dot men was crazy—Oar meppy he vas dight.I sed, "Yaas—'tvas Doketor Vriederick Sholtz,Vat you vant dese dime off nighd?"
Und I vas zo oxtonished,Bud de naixt dings vat I hear,Ven dot failer dold me, "Doketor,How long hev you leefed hier?"
Un den I vas oxcited,I felt yooust like a row;I sed, "I'fe leefed hier dwendy years:Vat you vant, ainyhow?"
Dot men he vas a villane,Und dot's yoost vat I kin brove;He singed oud to me lowdly,"Vat's de reason you dond moofe?"
I run down dru de shdairvay,Und oud into de shdreed;Bud I only hurt de bavemendsKlattering fashd agenshd hees feed.
I reely dink sooch ekshunsShoot not be oferlooked;Of I kood kaitch dot failer—Py cosh, hees coose vas kooked!
Now I vood say doo de doketors,Yoost pefore id vas doo late,Dond naifer loose your batients,Und you'll suckseed fushtrate.
No metter vots de reason,You naifer shood get vexed;You may loose your bay in dese vorldt,Bud you'll get id in de next.
George M. Warren.