And now for the moral!Imprimis, young heiresses,Don’t go riding o’ nights, and don’t rob mayors or mayoresses;As to robbing your suitors, allow me to say,On the face of the thing ’tis a scheme that won’t pay;Though they sigh and protest, and are dabs at love-making,You’ll not find one in tenOf these charming young menCan produce on occasion a purse worth your taking.Don’t refuse a good offer, but think ere you let aChance like that slip away,that you mayn’t get a better.One more hint and I’ve done—If by pistol or gunIt should e’er be your lot(Which I hope it may not),In a row to get shot,And the doctor’s assistance should all prove in vain,“When you give up the ghost, don’t resume it again.”If youdochoose to “walk” and revisit this earthTo play tricks, let some method be mixed with your mirth.As to burning down houses and ruining folks,And flaring about like a Fire-king’s daughter,—Allow me to say there’s no fun in such jokes,’Twould far better have beenTo have copied Undine,—There’s no harm in a mixture ofspirits and water!
And now for the moral!Imprimis, young heiresses,Don’t go riding o’ nights, and don’t rob mayors or mayoresses;As to robbing your suitors, allow me to say,On the face of the thing ’tis a scheme that won’t pay;Though they sigh and protest, and are dabs at love-making,You’ll not find one in tenOf these charming young menCan produce on occasion a purse worth your taking.Don’t refuse a good offer, but think ere you let aChance like that slip away,that you mayn’t get a better.One more hint and I’ve done—If by pistol or gunIt should e’er be your lot(Which I hope it may not),In a row to get shot,And the doctor’s assistance should all prove in vain,“When you give up the ghost, don’t resume it again.”If youdochoose to “walk” and revisit this earthTo play tricks, let some method be mixed with your mirth.As to burning down houses and ruining folks,And flaring about like a Fire-king’s daughter,—Allow me to say there’s no fun in such jokes,’Twould far better have beenTo have copied Undine,—There’s no harm in a mixture ofspirits and water!
And now for the moral!Imprimis, young heiresses,Don’t go riding o’ nights, and don’t rob mayors or mayoresses;As to robbing your suitors, allow me to say,On the face of the thing ’tis a scheme that won’t pay;Though they sigh and protest, and are dabs at love-making,You’ll not find one in tenOf these charming young menCan produce on occasion a purse worth your taking.Don’t refuse a good offer, but think ere you let aChance like that slip away,that you mayn’t get a better.One more hint and I’ve done—If by pistol or gunIt should e’er be your lot(Which I hope it may not),In a row to get shot,And the doctor’s assistance should all prove in vain,“When you give up the ghost, don’t resume it again.”If youdochoose to “walk” and revisit this earthTo play tricks, let some method be mixed with your mirth.As to burning down houses and ruining folks,And flaring about like a Fire-king’s daughter,—Allow me to say there’s no fun in such jokes,’Twould far better have beenTo have copied Undine,—There’s no harm in a mixture ofspirits and water!
And now for the moral!Imprimis, young heiresses,
Don’t go riding o’ nights, and don’t rob mayors or mayoresses;
As to robbing your suitors, allow me to say,
On the face of the thing ’tis a scheme that won’t pay;
Though they sigh and protest, and are dabs at love-making,
You’ll not find one in ten
Of these charming young men
Can produce on occasion a purse worth your taking.
Don’t refuse a good offer, but think ere you let a
Chance like that slip away,that you mayn’t get a better.
One more hint and I’ve done—
If by pistol or gun
It should e’er be your lot
(Which I hope it may not),
In a row to get shot,
And the doctor’s assistance should all prove in vain,
“When you give up the ghost, don’t resume it again.”
If youdochoose to “walk” and revisit this earth
To play tricks, let some method be mixed with your mirth.
As to burning down houses and ruining folks,
And flaring about like a Fire-king’s daughter,—
Allow me to say there’s no fun in such jokes,
’Twould far better have been
To have copied Undine,—
There’s no harm in a mixture ofspirits and water!
Frank E. S.
FOOTNOTES[1]The following legend is founded on a story current in the part of Herts where the scene is laid; the house was actually burnt down about ten years ago, having just been rendered habitable.[2]The name of a lonely common near Harpenden, formerly a favourite site for prize-fights.
[1]The following legend is founded on a story current in the part of Herts where the scene is laid; the house was actually burnt down about ten years ago, having just been rendered habitable.
[1]The following legend is founded on a story current in the part of Herts where the scene is laid; the house was actually burnt down about ten years ago, having just been rendered habitable.
[2]The name of a lonely common near Harpenden, formerly a favourite site for prize-fights.
[2]The name of a lonely common near Harpenden, formerly a favourite site for prize-fights.