(He marches her offL. U. E.,Margaretlooks scornfully after her, then sits on the grass, close toSir J.who holds the paper as a shield.)
(He marches her offL. U. E.,Margaretlooks scornfully after her, then sits on the grass, close toSir J.who holds the paper as a shield.)
(Sir JosephcrossesR.and sits.)
Margaret.(C.,reproachfully) Joseph, I warned you! You refused to take any steps! Now you see!
(Sir Josephturns over the paper wildly.)
Margaret.It is unpardonable of them both, but he, the poor boy, is at least to be pitied. There really should be a law against elderly women marrying mere boys! But it's our duty to do something, isn't it, Joseph? We really can't stand by and allow him to be so foolish—can we?
(Everardcomes in,R. 3 E.)
Ah, Everard, Everard! We have heard the—news. Your uncle has something to say to you—haven't you, Joseph?
(Comes downR. C.,taps him on the arm,Sir Josephsuddenly leaps upR. C.with a wild yell)
(Comes downR. C.,taps him on the arm,Sir Josephsuddenly leaps upR. C.with a wild yell)
(Everardcomes downL. C.)
Margaret.Oh, what is it? Another attack, Joseph?
Sir J.(flourishing the paper and pointing to a paragraph) Here, here, who has done this? I say, who has done this?
Everard.(amazed at his vehemence) Why, uncle—
Margaret.(rushing up with smelling salts) Joseph, you know you should not get excited!
Sir J.(shaking her off) Leave me alone! Go away! I want to know how it got into the papers! (cross toC.) Who said it? Who?
Margaret.(R. C.) Said what, Joseph dear? What has happened?
Sir J.(C.fiercely) There's an announcement here that I mean to resign the House, and give up the Bar!
Margaret.Oh! That wretched man must have put it in!
Sir J.(glaring at her) Man! What man?
Margaret.He called to see you yesterday, while you were resting. I couldn't disturb you, of course—so I—
Sir J.(choking with rage)Yousaw him? You?
Margaret.And I told him—I was so proud!
Sir J.You told him! But it's not true!
Margaret.(staggering) What!!!
Sir J.(wild with excitement and fury) No—it's not true—it's none of it true! Oh, you—idiot!
Everard.(L. C.advancing, horror-stricken) Uncle! How dare you!
Sir J.(ignoringEverardand still glaring atMargaret) None of it true! All sham and humbug, you—wretched little idiot!
(He rushes off wildlyR. 3 E.,Margaretbursts into a torrent of hysterical sobs, and sinks on to the seatR.Everard is deeply moved—followingSir JosephtoR.and then impetuously to her.)
(He rushes off wildlyR. 3 E.,Margaretbursts into a torrent of hysterical sobs, and sinks on to the seatR.Everard is deeply moved—followingSir JosephtoR.and then impetuously to her.)
Everard.(R. C.deeply pained) Margaret! Don't cry! Don't!
Margaret.(between her sobs) Go—go—leave me! Go to your Lady Claude! Who cares about me!
Everard.(humbly) Margaret!!!
Margaret.He has deceived me—I see it all now! The cottage in the country—the beautiful book—(wringing her hands) (rise and crossL.) Oh,canmen be so wicked!
(Everardfollows herL. C.)
(Feebly) It was so sweet—his giving up all—for me! His being so helpless, and wanting me, so much! And now—oh, wretched girl that I am! (her sobs burst forth afresh, go upC.and sit, pushingEverardaway)
Everard.(upR. C.) Margaret! Don't! I can't stand it!
Margaret.The wickedness of it! Oh, the wickedness!
Everard.But you loved him! You told me you loved him! When he proposed—
Margaret.It was such a surprise—and I was so flattered! But love! How could I love—an old man!
Everard.(more and more bewildered, sits upC.on herR.) Margaret!
Margaret.An—ugly—old man!
Everard.What—what!
Margaret.And I—I admired him, of course. But I confess that at first—only then, when Mr. Mollentrave told me of all his diseases—Everard! His heart isn't weak?
Everard.(rise) No!
Margaret.His limbs aren't feeble?
Everard.Not in the least!
Margaret.He's not even asthmatic?
Everard.No more than I am!
Margaret.(raising her hands pathetically to Heaven) Oh!!! And yet how great his love must be, for him to have stooped to this!
Everard.(scornfully) His love! He has called you an idiot! You!
Margaret.(sobbing again) Yes—a wretched—little—idiot! And what had I done to deserve it! (EverardsitsC.) Oh, leave me, leave me! Go to your Lady Claude!
Everard.(trembling with excitement) You can't marry him now!
Margaret.Will he let me escape, do you think? All this week, the hungry love in his eyes!
Everard.But you—if you don't love him?
Margaret.I loved what Ithoughtwas him. And I—I am faithful—Ido not change—Idon't says things to one woman one week and then make love to another! Why do you stay here, Everard? Your bride is waiting!
Everard.(desperately) Do you thinkIwant to marry Lady Claude?
Margaret.(scornfully) Would you have proposed to her, if you didn't?
Everard.I proposed out of pique, because you—
Margaret.(excitedly) What, what!
Everard.I read Mr. Mollentrave's wicked book, and believed it! Oh, Margaret, Margaret, can you think that any other woman in the world—
Margaret.(trembling) Then—then—
Everard.I always have loved you—always—always! But when I found that you—
Margaret.I see it all! You proposed to Lady Claude—for my sake!
Everard.I was so unhappy!
Margaret.And youdon'tlove her? Then I have ruined your life!
Everard.It's not too late!
Margaret.It is—it is! Can we break both their hearts? Oh, Everard—we must be noble!
Everard.Poor Lady Claude! I'm afraid I've been very cruel!
Margaret.And your uncle—think of your uncle! Imagine if he—suspected! The blow to him! No, no, we mustn't, we can't. We must make the sacrifice, Everard! We must do what is right!
(Leaning against each other.)
Everard.But tell me, at least! Youdolove me?
Margaret.Oh, Everard, I always have loved you—but I didn't know!
Everard.(desperately) I don't want to marry Lady Claude!
Margaret.Nor I your uncle! But we must! They love us, the poor old things!
(They fall into each other's arms.Mollentravecomes in brisklyL. U. E.and stares, in utter amazement)
(They fall into each other's arms.Mollentravecomes in brisklyL. U. E.and stares, in utter amazement)
Mollen.(triumphantly) Ah! The liberation of two gases, that meet, and explode!
(EverardandMargaretturn, horror-stricken, and rise)
Everard.(upR. C.releasingMargaret) Mr. Mollentrave! Oh!!!
Margaret.(downR.shamefaced) You mustn't think—oh, you mustn't! We were merely bidding each other good-bye!
Mollen.(C.) That of course was evident! But, Everard—for a man who half-an-hour ago proposed to my daughter—
Everard.(miserably) Mr. Mollentrave!
Mollen.Are there many other young ladies—whom you have to say good-bye to, Everard?
Everard.Be merciful, sir! Oh, Mr. Mollentrave. I love Margaret! (going to her)
Margaret.(reproachfully) Everard!
Everard.I do, I do! And she loves me! Oh, Mr. Mollentrave, help us!
(Both kneelC.holding hands)
Margaret.Yes, yes, help us!
Mollen.What a position for a father! When I think of my Rosamund—the blow to her! And Balsted—poor, doting Balsted!
Margaret.(crawling towardsMollentrave,humbly) We've been very wicked, we know! But we'll do what you tell us!
Mollen.(both rise) Arise, my children!Iwill befriend you!
Everard.(upR. C.) Oh, Mr. Mollentrave, you are the noblest of men!
Margaret.(downR. C.) The best, the kindest!
Mollen.(C.) (raising them both) I will break the dreadful news to them—ah, very gently—We must not be brutal! Not a word to them yet—They must hear it from me!
Margaret.Yes—oh yes!
Mollen.Oh, the cruelty of youth! Go now—go—let me consider what had best be done.
Everard.(seizing his hand and wringing it) How to thank you!
Margaret.(caressing the other hand) Dear Mr. Mollentrave!
Mollen.Whatever it cost me, you have my promise!
(They go off, hand-in-handR. 2 E.Left alone,Mollentravelaughs quietly to himself, and expresses his supreme satisfaction by a kind of elderly dance.Dextercomes inR. 2 E.with a telegram, and stares.)
(They go off, hand-in-handR. 2 E.Left alone,Mollentravelaughs quietly to himself, and expresses his supreme satisfaction by a kind of elderly dance.Dextercomes inR. 2 E.with a telegram, and stares.)
Dexter.(R. C.) Mr. Mollentrave!
Mollen.(with dignityC.) Dexter, this exhibition of agility may seem undignified, but it is symbolic of a certain inward feeling of legitimate pride.
Dexter.(puzzled) Sir?
Mollen.Dexter, I have done it—like that! (he snaps his fingers) I waved my wand—and they walked—I piped, and they danced! (toDexterR. C.speaking with profound conviction) Dexter there are moments when my power strikes me as somewhat uncanny....
Dexter.(R. C.) May I ask, sir—
Mollen.No, no, these matters are not for you.—What have you there?
Dexter.A telegram, sir. The boy is waiting.
(Dexterhands him the telegram.)
Mollen.(fumbling for his glasses) Yes—a little uncanny! (C.) But—fortunately for mankind, I make a good use of that power! (He adjusts his spectacles, opens the telegram, and reads) What, what!
Dexter.(R. C.) No bad news, sir, I hope?
Mollen.(L. C.) (fuming) Contareen! The ass, the triple ass! Engaged to Lady Gladys. I am d—— (going upC.and downR. C.)
Dexter.Sir?
Mollen.And he gloats! He dares to gloat!
Dexter.(R. C.) Any answer, sir? I have brought a form.
Mollen.Answer—no—no answer! Stay, though—thereshallbe—yes, thereshall! Ah, he gloats, does he, that—moon-calf! Write, Dexter,—write! Sit here and write!
(DextersitsR. C.)
"Delighted at news. My daughter and Sir Joseph Balsted, who were engaged yesterday"—
Dexter.(open-mouthed) Sir???
Mollen.(C.pettishly) I say, who were engaged yesterday—"join in congratulations." Have you got it?
Dexter.Do I understand you to say—
Mollen.You do, sir—you do! Is that down?
Dexter.Yes, sir. "My daughter and Sir Joseph Balsted, who were engaged yesterday, join in congratulations."
Mollen.Good. Now take that telegram, give it to the boy—and mind, not a word to anyone here! (downL.)
Dexter.(going) Very well, sir. (is goingR. 2 E.)
Mollen.(R. C.) Stay, I had better make sure. Give me the telegram, Dexter—I'll hand it to the boy myself. And do you go off, through that gate, and take the next train back to town.
(DextercrossesL. C.)
Dexter.(upL. C.) Sir! Don't you trust my discretion?
Mollen.(R. C.) Implicitly, Dexter—but I prefer to know it's in London. Go at once, please. I shall let you know when to return.
(Dextergoes through the gate,L. U. E.)
Mollen.(C.and downL. C.) (moving off) More work for my hands! But can I let that creature gloat? (is going upR. 3 E.)
(As he goes, he meetsSir JosephandLady Claude.)
Mollen.(pushing between them) Ah, Balsted, Rosamund, wait for me here. I have news—strange news! I shall be back in a moment! (he goesR. 3 E.)
Sir J.(coming down stage on herR.slowly walking downR.and acrossL. C.) News! Some fresh scheme, no doubt! We have done with him—done! Rosamund, I'll go now to the post-office, and wire my clerk to get a special license—
Lady C.No, no, it's impossible! Oh, Joseph, think of our eternal remorse—if anything happened!
Sir J.Remorse! I tell you, if we stay here, we shall both of us be caught!
Lady C.We should never have lent ourselves to this deception!
Sir J.It's too late now to moan over things! Your father's responsible for it all—let him put things right!
Lady C.Think of poor Margaret! Ninety-nine girls out of a hundred, I said—what if she be the hundredth?
Sir J.I don't care if she be the thousandth! I won't marry her!
Lady C.And Everard! The blow to him! Oh, how can I have been so blind!
Sir J.He and Margaret will console each other!
Lady C.(L.) Oh Joseph, Joseph, they are so young, but youth can know sorrow! Margaretadores you—and I—oh, what have I done to poor Everard!
Sir J.(L. C.) I don't care, I don't care! I tell you—
(EverardandMargaretcome inR. 2 E.;they start at seeing the others.)
Lady C.Look, look! Here they are!
(A panic falls on all four of them; they eye each other furtively, and both pairs stand whispering at opposite corners of the stage.)
(A panic falls on all four of them; they eye each other furtively, and both pairs stand whispering at opposite corners of the stage.)
Margaret.(downR. C.toEverarddownR.) They've seen us—we can't go back.
Lady C.(upL.toSir JosephupL. C.) Ah, Joseph! The poor little girl!
Everard.(toMargaret) He can't have told them yet!
Margaret.(toEverard) Oh no—impossible! But—how sad they are! As though they suspected!
Lady C.(toSir Joseph) The poor boy, the poor boy! We must be very gentle!
Everard.(toMargaret) I've behaved very cruelly to poor Lady Claude!
Sir J.(toLady Claude) I'm afraid Margaret has been crying—
Lady C.(toSir Joseph) It will break her heart when she knows—
Everard.(toMargaret) Why not tell them? This is a chance—
Margaret.(toEverard) Oh, think of the shock! Your poor uncle! Oh, my heart fails me!
(They fall into whispers.Mollentravecomes in, and chuckles at finding them all together.Both couples start guiltily and try to go,MargaretandEverardR. 2 E.,Sir JosephandLady ClaudeL. 2 E.)
(They fall into whispers.Mollentravecomes in, and chuckles at finding them all together.Both couples start guiltily and try to go,MargaretandEverardR. 2 E.,Sir JosephandLady ClaudeL. 2 E.)
Mollen.(C.) No, no, don't go—sit down please—I've something to say to you—all!
(They sit all of them in the greatest embarrassment, avoiding each other's eyes,MargaretandEverardR.andR. C.,Sir JosephupL. C.,Lady ClaudedownL.)
(They sit all of them in the greatest embarrassment, avoiding each other's eyes,MargaretandEverardR.andR. C.,Sir JosephupL. C.,Lady ClaudedownL.)
Mollen.(C.) (striking an attitude) The poets have babbled of love since the first introduction of rhyme;—but all that we know, or need know, is that Cupid is—young! (he turns toSir Joseph) Balsted! The elderly fisherman baits his fat hook and thinks he has landed the salmon—down below, a barefoot boy wades in, and captures the prize! As a lover, Balsted, you have every quality—every one in the world that appeals to a beautiful girl—every one, with the exception of youth!
Margaret.(R. C.) (falling on her knees beforeSir Joseph) Forgive me!
Sir J.(staggered) Margaret! (crosses toR. C.)
Mollen.(downL. C.) Youmustforgive her! Balsted, it was your brain, your massive brain, that attracted poor Margaret—but to-day, as she sat beside Everard, two pair of lips met, quite by chance—and your brain was forgotten!
(Lady Claudestill sittingL.)
Everard.(risingR.) (appealingly) Lady Claude!
Mollen.(L. C.) Rosamund, you too will pardon, and grant absolution. Rosamund, Balsted,rise to superior heights—and, from your loftiness, smile on our lovers!
Sir J.(C.) Margaret, you are free!
Marg.(R. C.) What!Canyou!
Sir J.I release you!
Mollen.(upL. C.) Go now, my children—leave me—to pour balm on their wounds!
(He waves them off; they rush out gleefully, hand in hand,R. 2 E.)
Sir J.(upR. C.) A miracle! But how—
Mollen.(C.) The infallible working of an undeviating law!
Sir J.Mollentrave, I love your daughter. And she—
Lady C.(rising and toL.ofMollen.) Papa, this will be a disappointment to you, I know. But I—
Mollen.(C.) Disappointment! The dearest wish of my heart!
Sir J.What!!
Mollen.My scheme of schemes, at which I have labored since first I set eyes on our friend! Every single event, all that has happened, was merely the inlay, the minute fragments that dovetailed—and produced this!
Sir J.Marvellous! Mollentrave, I have no words—to express my admiration!
Mollen.(takingSir Joseph'shand and placing it inLady Claude's) After all, my dear fellow, what is it? A little knowledge of human nature!
CURTAIN.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTESSilently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors.Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.
Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors.
Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.