It is not good form to talk of the cost of articles or mention money affairs in company.
The social aspirant should cultivate the art of saying polite nothings acceptably. Small talk is the small change of social life.
One should be prompt at dinner, a card-party or a musicale.
At a dancing-party the hostess does not dance, as a rule, during the first part of the evening. She receives her guests and sees that the women are provided with partners.
A man who dances should pay his hostess the courtesy of inviting her to dance. He should certainly dance with her daughter.
Engaged couples should be careful to avoid demonstrations of affection or preoccupation in each other while in company.
Remember—
That the salt-shaker is out of favor; the open salt cellar and the salt-spoon are much preferred.
Never cut bread; break it with the fingers. Never butter a large piece, or spread it in the palm of your hand.
The finger-bowl will be brought on a plate with a doily under it.
Lift both from the plate to the table. The plate is then ready for the fruit course.
Black coffee—cafe noir—is usually served without cream. Cut loaf sugar is passed with it.
If a visitor for one meal only, the napkin is not folded at the conclusion of a meal. If staying a day or two follow the practice of the hostess.
Creme de menthe is served before the coffee, in small liquor glasses.
Do not break bread or crackers into the soup nor tip the plate to obtain the last of it.
Do not play with crumbs, or finger knife or spoon.
Never touch a knife to fish or salad.
Remember—
Do not move glass, spoon, etc., when the maid brushes the crumbs from the cloth.
Knife and fork are laid upon the plate, tines of the latter upward, when the plate is passed for a second helping. This "second help" is permitted only at family or informal dinners.
A host must not urge food upon a guest after it has once been declined.
Lift the cup or glass to the lips, instead of bending toward it. Do not throw the head back and raise the cup to get the last of its contents.
Remember—
To prepare a list of the members of the family who will go to the cemetery at a funeral, for the undertaker's guidance, arranging them in the order of the relationship.
Flowers should be sent early in the morning of the day of interment, or on the previous afternoon. Acknowledgment by note or verbally is expected.
A letter expressive of sympathy in a friend's bereavement should be sent immediately upon learning of a death.
During an illness, make inquiries at the door, leaving a card with "To inquire" written upon it. This apprises a friend of your interest in her troubles, yet makes no claim upon her time.
Men wear mourning bands on their hats, not on the coat sleeve. Borders on mourning stationery and cards should be narrow.
Invitations to receptions, weddings, and general entertainments, excepting dancing parties, balls and cotillions, are sent to people in mourning. A response on black bordered stationery sufficiently indicates the reason for non-acceptance.
Remember—
That the typewriter does not figure in social correspondence.
A neat, well written letter or note is a credit to the writer, and a compliment to her correspondent.
Avoid "fancy" or bizarre stationery. A good quality of white or cream paper, in several sizes, is indicative of refined taste.
The forms of address, under the head of "Letter forms" may be profitably studied.
Abbreviations are incorrect. Write out the name of the state on your envelope; otherwise it may go astray.
To keep a dictionary on one's desk is a wise precaution unless one is sure of herself in regard to spelling.
Answer all notes of invitation promptly, and unconditionally; and all friendly letters within a reasonable time.
If you never say an unkind or hateful thing in a letter, you will never fear you may be some day condemned by your written evidence.
Don't keep old letters; it is unwise.
Avoid discussions on any subject on which people feel strongly, like politics and religion. Do not hold an argument in society.
Remember that good manners are made up of petty sacrifices, gracefully made.
A kind "no" is often more agreeable than a rough "yes." An assent, given grudgingly, is always ungracious.
Take note of this quotation: "Life is like a mirror. It reflects the face you bring to it. Look out lovingly upon the world and the world will look lovingly in upon you."
INCLUDING MANICURING, CARE OF THE COMPLEXION,TEETH, EYES, FEET, Etc.
"The one thing that woman prizes most is her beauty. Though she have none, she yet persuadeth herself that she possesses some charm upon which men's eyes rest admiringly."—Johnson.
"There is no wound a woman will not more willingly forget than a blow to her vanity."
Although woman's chief desire is to be beautiful, it is a historical fact that nearly every woman whose beauty has been renowned has either led an unhappy life or met a tragic fate. Strangely, too, the most famous attachments of which we have record have been inspired by women who were not only not beautiful, but who had some noticeable defect. So to be attractive, and to charm, it is not necessary to be beautiful. Beauty gives a woman a start in the race; her other qualities must enable her to keep her advantage.
The first essential to good looks is good health. The clear complexion, the bright eyes, the lustrous hair that are such helps are born of good health rather than of creams and hair tonics. Health depends a good deal on wholesome diet and out-door exercise, which make pure blood. Pure air is invaluable. Country girls often have exquisite complexions because of the pure air they breathe—unless they eat too much heavy, greasy food.
Study hygiene, then, instead of relying upon "Bloom of Youth" and "Cream of Roses" as aids to a good complexion. Such things deceive no one, and by use ruin the skin, wrinkling and withering it. It is a good thing to drink plenty of water. A glass on retiring, another on rising, and a third an hour before the noon meal is little enough. Keep the stomach and bowels in good order.
BLACKHEADS.—The most frequent inquiry in the "beauty pages" of the papers is what to do for blackheads. In the first place, don't allow yourself to get them. Keep your face clean. A blackhead is simply a pore that is filled with oil and dirt. Sometimes they are as large as the head of a pin. When taken out they leave an enlargement known as a coarse pore. Do not steam the face to remove them. Wash the face well with soap and hot water; wring cloths out of hot water and hold to the face then massage with cold cream. Several treatments will soften them so they may be pinched out between the thumbs. Never attempt this treatment before going out; do it at night, before retiring.
Blackheads are a reflection upon one's personal cleanliness, therefore bathe the whole body often.
PIMPLES.—Pimples are due to an impure condition of the blood, for which sulphur is a good remedy, taken internally and applied externally. One dram each of camphor and flowers of sulphur in four ounces of rose-water is a good lotion for external use. Do not pick or squeeze pimples, unless pus has formed in them. Nothing is more disgusting than a face broken out in pus-filled pimples. See a physician if thus afflicted.
FRECKLES.—These have been poetically called "the kisses of the sun," but no girl cares for evidences of that sort of affection. Prevention is easier than cure. Simple home remedies are lemon juice and glycerin, sour buttermilk, and elderflower soap used in bathing.
A well-known application is six grains of bichloride of mercury in one ounce each of glycerin and alcohol, and a few drops, say ten or twelve, of oil of lavender. The trouble is that after using these remedies the skin is delicate and freckles more easily.
The fad for going bareheaded has ruined many a girl's complexion.
SUNBURN.—Avoid it when possible. If going on the water, apply magnesia to the face rather thickly. If sunburned, rub the skin with cold cream, leaving it on as long as you can before using water on it. A wash that is good for tan and sunburn requires half an ounce of borax and an ounce of lemon juice in a pint of rose water.
CHAPPED HANDS AND FACE.—Many cases of "chaps" may be avoided by the simple precaution of wiping the face and hands perfectly dry. If the skin chaps easily keep at hand a bottle of glycerin and lemon juice mixed in about equal proportions, and after wiping rub a little on the hands. Before going out in the cold, rub a little cold cream or oil of sweet almonds over the face; leave it on a few minutes, rub off lightly with a dry towel and dust with rice powder. Camphor ice is good for chapped lips.
A PURE FACE CREAM.—Set a bowl in a basin of hot water over the fire. In it put a quarter of an ounce of white wax and two and a half ounces of spermaceti, and the same quantity of oil of sweet almonds. When melted and hot, add a pinch of borax and an ounce and a half of rose-water. Beat these ingredients with a silver fork, briskly, till the cream is cold. Warm the jar before filling it and keep in a cool place.
ANOTHER GOOD CREAM.—One ounce each of white wax and spermaceti; two ounces each of lanolin and cocoanut oil and four ounces of sweet almond oil. Melt in a double-boiler or a bowl set in hot water, and stir in two ounces of orange flower water and thirty drops of tincture of benzoin. Stir briskly till cold, and of the consistency of a thick paste. This is to be used at night, after thoroughly washing the face. It is a good cleansing cream also.
WRINKLES.—It is a great deal easier to prevent wrinkles than it is to get rid of them after one has acquired them. A little study of women's faces will show how wrinkles, that no amount of massage will obliterate, are being made. They make perpendicular wrinkles between the eyes by drawing the brows together when sewing or reading, sometimes through habit and sometimes because of insufficient light. Some wrinkles are born of in-temper, of fretfulness, or sorrow. As the skin loses its elasticity, through age or ill-health, wrinkles come more and more easily. The best remedy for wrinkles is a light heart and a contented mind. Assist these with good, wholesome food that makes pure blood to feed the body, and render external aid through gentle massage and some good face cream and you have done the best you can. It is a good plan to some day take your hand-mirror with you as you go about your daily duties and watch the process of wrinkle-making. Say you are sewing and note the glass. Without changing your expression, take a look at yourself. The chance is it will be a revelation. You will realize why wrinkles come.
MASSAGE.—Unless properly done, massage may do more harm than good. If one can afford a few treatments by a scientific masseur and study her methods, it is a great help. The thing is not to rub in more than you rub out, by improper manipulation. Rub the face up, not down. This is because of the tendency of the muscles to sag.
Rub across, not with, the lines. Rub the "parentheses" around the month up and out, and give a rotary motion to the rubs given the checks, gently pinching and pulling them out.
But after all, there's nothing like good temper and steady nerves to prevent the tell-tale lines.
WRINKLED HANDS.—Wrinkled hands belong to age, and are due to loss of oil in the skin. After washing and wiping them, rub with a little cold cream or olive oil. Rub well into the skin. At night, use the cream or oil freely and put on a pair of old gloves.
Camphor is a good whitening agent for the hands, and a teaspoonful of spirits of camphor beaten into any greasy, cold cream will be beneficial. A piece of the gum camphor melted with the ointment blends more readily. A piece of camphor size of a walnut to two tablespoonfuls of the cream is about right proportions.
RED HANDS AND NOSE.—Sometimes a too tight corset, impeding the circulation of the blood, is responsible for the blemishes; sometimes poor circulation due to poor health. Cold feet may send the blood to the nose. Find out what is the cause and remove it. Local applications are ineffective.
COLD OR FEVER SORES.—These unpleasant afflictions may be cured if taken at the first indication of what is coming—a smarting or burning sensation—by frequent applications of dilute spirits of camphor.
FACE POWDERS.—There are few women who do not at times have occasion to use face powder. A woman once remarked: "It isn't decent not to in summer—one looks so greasy without." There are many face powders on the market, some of which are comparatively harmless, while others are deleterious. The injury done by powder is that it fills the pores, stopping them up and thus clogging the skin. Many powders contain lead or bismuth, both of which are very injurious. Magnesia is drying. Rice powder is most harmless, but does not adhere. The most innocent powder is probably a preparation of French chalk. Weigh a box of powder in your hand before purchasing. If heavy, it doubtless contains lead, and should be refused. Find some powder that agrees with your skin and then buy that brand. Suit the color of the powder to your complexion. Don't use flesh tint if you are sallow, the "outlying regions" of neck and ears betray you.
TO USE POWDER.—Wash the face; rub a little cold cream over it, rubbing it in well, wipe with a dry towel, gently, then apply the powder with a chamois—a clean one. Do not keep it on unnecessarily. Remove by rubbing with the cleansing cream, then wash the face. Never go to bed with powder on your face.
LIQUID WHITENERS.—Avoid these. They are "whitewashes" that wither and wrinkle the skin and make it prematurely old. Almost without exception they contain lead in some form. Constant use may produce a facial paralysis due to lead poisoning. Moreover they deceive no one, and give an unpleasing impression as regards one's good sense.
ROUGE.—Well, don't do it. There may be a few who can have a rouge especially prepared that is the exact tint that harmonizes with the skin, the hair, the eyes, and can apply it so carefully as to look "natural." But ordinarily the deception is evident, and rouge in conjunction with liquid washes and penciled eyes and brows, suggest the aids employed by women of the demi-monde.
If any rouge is used, let it be the "Spanish lady's rouge" or crepons—bits of white woolen crepe dyed with an ammoniacal solution of carmine. These are gently rubbed on the skin to produce the required glow.
THE HAIR.—Beautiful hair is woman's crown of glory. Thousands of the sex wear it unbecomingly. They follow the latest fashion in arrangement without reference to whether it suits the lines of the face and head or otherwise. One should never be satisfied with a front view alone. Study the back, the sides, the lines produced, just as you study the becomingness of a hat from all angles. If a new fashion is unbecoming, either avoid it, or modify it into becomingness if you can. So many women make guys of themselves by a slavish devotion to the freaks of fashion.
CARE OF THE HAIR.—The hair is kept in order by frequent brushings, which excite the natural oil by which it is fed, and by washing it. Dr. Leonard, an authority on the hair, says once a month is as often as the hair needs washing. As a shampoo, he advises yolk of egg, well rubbed into the scalp and roots of the hair, then washed out with tepid water and castile soap. A brisk rubbing with dry towels excites the blood-vessels of the scalp. There is no doubt that this simple shampoo is more beneficial than many new-fangled ones.
The hair should be taken down and well brushed every night, This removes dirt and makes it glossy. Use a brush with bristles as stiff as you can use without irritating the scalp too much, and keep it clean. Don't drag a fine comb through the hair. The proper comb has regular and even teeth, rounded, not sharp. If a tooth becomes split, remove it; it will break the hair. Wire brushes are nothing more or less than combs, and are not as good for the hair as good bristle brushes. Keep combs and brushes clean.
USE OF POMADES.—Hair that is dry and brittle really requires some oleaginous preparation, used in moderation. Yellow vaselin is good. Part the hair and rub it into the scalp with the tips of the fingers. A sufficient amount will find its way to the hair itself to relieve the dryness. Cocoanut oil is also good. Never apply anything of this kind to the hair itself, which is simply made greasy. The benefit should be to the roots. The application of vaselin may be made a couple of days before the monthly washing, or if the hair is very dry, may follow it. Remember not to overdo the matter. It does not follow that because a little is good, more is better.
A specialist on the hair who makes biennial trips abroad to advise himself as to the most recent methods and treatment, in a moment of confidence admitted to a customer that after all pure cold water was as good a hair tonic as he knew of. "Do not wet the hair." he said. "Dip the tips of your fingers in cold water and rub the scalp, wetting it and at the same time massaging it. Do this as faithfully as you would apply a tonic, and in all but certain exceptional cases it will be as beneficial.'
CLIPPING THE HAIR.—It is a good plan to clip the ends of the hair once a month to keep the growth even. If the hair splits, trim to a point above it, as the tendency is for the split to extend further up the hair-shaft.
DANDRUFF.—Dandruff is the scaling off of dead cuticle. In excess, it becomes a disease, forming so thick a scale as to kill the roots of the hair and cause it to fall out. It is rightly called "itch dirt." Cleanliness therefore helps a cure.
An old-fashioned recipe for dandruff calls for five ounces of bay rum, one ounce of olive oil, one ounce tincture of cantharides. Dr. Leonard advises free applications of sweet oil for the purpose of softening the scales, then a washing with warm water and castile soap, or the "green soap" of the pharmacy. If the disease is bad, or obstinate, apply a little oxide of zinc ointment.
WASHING THE HAIR.—One suspects that those who advise washing the hair once a week have more of all eye to the increase of their business than to the welfare of their customers' hair. The egg shampoo has been advised. Use a soap made of vegetable oil if possible. Never rub soap in the hair, and be very careful to rinse thoroughly, to get all the soap out using hot water for washing, then graduating the temperature till the final douche of cold. Do not use ammonia, soda or borax on the hair.
COLOR OF THE HAIR.—Nature has suited the hair to the complexion in every case, and we cannot improve upon her idea of harmony. That is why any attempt to change the color is so unsatisfactory. The "bleached blonde" is always recognizable; so is the woman who dyes her faded locks in vain effort to retain her "youth." As the hair changes by natural processes the complexion changes to match it, so that we never get a chance to improve upon nature's handiwork.
In Elizabethan days, wigs were worn to harmonize or match with the costume. Queen Elizabeth had over eighty. Think of purple hair? Yet some dyes give a purple tinge to the locks.
DYED HAIR.—Dyed hair is a sorry makeshift at best. Far better let nature have her way. There is but one hair-dye that is not positively harmful, this is henna, and its use entails no end of trouble because it must be frequently renewed,—some use it every day.
To prepare the dye, get a quarter pound of henna leaves; to this add two quarts of cold water. Let stand on the back of the range where it will steep slowly for four or five hours. Add three ounces of alcohol and bottle. Apply with a tooth-brush. It gives a sort of reddish-brown color. Women whose hair is prematurely gray often use this, declaring their white hair prevents them from obtaining or holding business positions. But where hair has whitened prematurely there is always a freshness and vitality about eyes and complexion that bespeaks youth.
Physicians strongly deprecate the use of hair dyes. No matter how strenuously the label insists on "absolute harmlessness," the dye relies for its effectiveness upon the presence of lead in some chemical combination. The frequent application of lead to the scalp induces a certain dangerous form of poisoning, which results in paralysis. If "dye you must," pin your faith to henna.
GRAY HAIR.—"The only thing to do with gray hair is to admire it." This is true. Nothing so sets off an aged face like the crown of silver. To color it is a great mistake. There is absolutely no cure for it; the one thing we can do is to make it a beauty. Gray hair is due to the exhaustion of the pigment or coloring cells of the hair, supposed to be occasioned by the lack of a regular supply of blood.
For the progressive whitening of the hair due to the advance of age, curative agents are rarely of any avail, especially if the trouble is hereditary. Not that gray hair and baldness are handed down from father to son, but that the peculiarities of constitution which produce them are inherent in both. Nervousness, neuralgia, a low physical condition, aid the falling and blanching of the hair, and the victim should build up the general system. Preparations of iron and sulphur, taken internally, are supposed to supply certain elements of growth and pigment-forming power to the hair.
A solution of iron for external application to the hair, calls for two drams each of citrate of iron and tincture of nux vomica, and one and one-half ounces each of cocoanut oil and bay rum. It may be mentioned here, that faithfulness in treatment means even more than the tonic applied. To gain any real benefit, one must be persistent in application.
Hair often turns gray "in streaks" to the chagrin of the victim. Or it whitens above the forehead and temples and remains dark at the back. Nothing can be done for this.
Gray hair should be kept scrupulously clean, and requires more frequent washing than hair that holds its color. A very little blueing in the rinsing water gives a purer, clearer white. For this use indigo, not the usual washing fluid which is made of Prussian blue. Five cents worth of indigo will last a lifetime.
A HAIR TONIC.—A lotion Dr. Leonard recommends for the hair, especially where it is coming out calls for two drams tincture cantharides, half an ounce nux vomica, one dram tincture capsicum, one and a half ounces castor oil, and two ounces of cologne. Apply with a bit of sponge twice a day.
A preparation which is tonic in its properties and is also said to darken gray hair, and which certainly contains nothing injurious, calls for one ounce of sage and a pint of boiling water, allowed to stand twenty-four hours in an iron pot, and then filtered through filtering papers.
Digest half an ounce of pine tar in a pint of water for forty-eight hours, stirring occasionally; filter, and put with the other fluid, then add one pint of bay rum, one ounce each of cologne and tincture of cantharides, two ounces of glycerin and ten ounces of distilled water. Apply daily, using a tonic brush.
THE HAIR AND HEALTH.—The condition of the hair is largely predicated on the condition of the general health. In health, it should be abundant, glossy and bright—"live"—in color. A low physical condition may make it look dry and dead, and induce falling out. Take care of the general health for the sake of the hair as well as for the sake of the complexion.
THE HANDS.—One of the woman's continuous tasks is trying to keep her hands clean, and one thing that militates against their good looks is careless washing. They are washed indiscriminately in hot or cold water, the soap not properly rinsed off, nor the drying complete. To keep them soft and white, wash in soft, tepid water, dry thoroughly, then rub in a little cold cream or compound of glycerin, or fine cornmeal. Use rubber gloves in dish washing, and if you must have your hands in soapy water for a long time, after washing them in pure water rub over with a few drops of lemon juice or cider vinegar. This kills the potash in the soap that has been used.
CARE OF THE NAILS.—It is a luxury to have one's nails done by a manicure, and if one can not afford this, always, it is profitable to have it done a few times and carefully observe the process, because the nails are a very important part of the care of the hands.
Finger Nail Powder, Old Tried Remedy for—
"Violet Talcum Powder 1/2 ouncePulverized Boric Acid 1/2 ouncePowdered Starch 1/2 ounceTincture of Carmine 15 drops
If the nails become hard or brittle, immerse them in warm olive oil every night or rub vaselin into them."
IMPLEMENTS.—The tools required are a pair of manicure scissors, which have small curved blades; get a good pair of steel scissors, the silver are not so good; a package of emery boards, an orange-wood stick, a flexible nail file, a small bottle of peroxide of hydrogen for bleaching, a bit of pumice stone, a cake of polishing powder, a chamois covered "buffer" and a box of rosaline or other paste.
THE PROCESS.—The nails are to be shortened by filing, as cutting thickens them. The orange-wood stick is then dipped in peroxide and run under the nail to bleach, then the pumice stone, powdered, is used in the same way to cleanse. During this the left hand is soaking in tepid, soapy water. Of course, if you do your own manicuring you will go on with the right hand, waiting while the cuticle at the base of the nail softens. This is then anointed with a little cold cream or vaselin; the cuticle is loosened and trimmed if necessary,—do not trim if you can avoid it, as cutting thickens it. When both hands have been thus treated, they are again soaked a few minutes, then a little of the rosaline paste—a very little—is put on each nail, the buffer dipped in the polishing powder and the nails polished. The hands are then washed, rubbed dry, and the fingers gone over a second time in search of roughness of nail or cuticle; they are then polished again with a clean buffer, and may be sprayed with perfume from an atomizer.
MOUTH AND TEETH.—Many young people owe their homely mouths to infantile habits. Sucking the thumb, and these horrible "pacificators" or "baby comforters" are responsible for some ill-shaped mouths. A large mouth, if not malformed, is not ugly unless filled with bad teeth or set in a disagreeable expression. Thus, in a way, we mould this feature ourselves, to a considerable degree.
CLEANSING THE TEETH.—A good brushing twice a day, using cold water and some pleasant antiseptic wash, like listerine, does much to keep the mouth and teeth clean. Particles of food lodged between the teeth should be removed with a bit of dental floss.
VISITS TO THE DENTIST.—Pain and expense are saved by consulting the dentist in good season. The smallest cavity should be filled as soon as discovered. At least once a year the teeth should be carefully examined by one's dentist; it would be better to go every six months. Let the dentist clean them and remove the tartar, if any, as commercial preparations often injure. Most dentists will save a tooth wherever possible. There is little excuse for bad teeth these days, since modern dentistry can work marvels.
CHILDREN'S TEETH.—On no account let a child's second teeth come in crowded, irregular or projecting. A good dentist can remedy all these malformations and though it may be troublesome at the time, the child, when grown, will blame you for not having relieved him of them. From babyhood, the child should be taught that cleansing the teeth is as important a part of the toilet as washing the hands.
THE EYES.—No gift is more precious than sight. Therefore take care of your eyes. Don't overstrain them, don't put anything in them, don't follow any casual prescription, nor use belladonna to brighten them. Consult an oculist, not an optician, if there is anything the matter with them. Bathe them in hot water when they feel tired and drawn. Eyesight is too precious to be tampered with. If a child is cross-eyed, a simple operation will straighten them, and it is a crime not to have it done.
EYELASHES AND EYEBROWS.—The best application for these is the simplest.Just a little yellow vaselin, which encourages growth. Don't clip, either.Frequent brushing will generally train the brows into a shapely line. Aheavy, coarse hair may be pulled out with the fingers.
THE FEET.—The three most frequent evils to which the feet are heir are corns, bunions or enlarged joints, and chilblains. Ingrowing nails are much less common, but make up in painfulness.
CORNS.—Corns are of three kinds: callous spots, soft corns, and corns. Callous spots may be rubbed or pared down and rubbed with cocoa butter. Soft corns come between the toes and are very painful. Soak absorbent cotton in a little turpentine and put between the toes; or sprinkle the cotton with powdered alum. These corns are supposed to be due to moisture between the toes and are sometimes cured and often prevented by keeping absorbent cotton between the toes. Prevention saves a lot of suffering. "Just corns" are calloused spots with hard center; pressure on this causes pain. Soaking in hot water, and shaving off as much of the hardened skin as can be removed with safety, affords relief. The little hard core should be taken out.
Precautions.—Be sure that your knife, razor, or whatever implement is used is perfectly clean (sterilized) and avoid drawing blood. If this happens, use some antiseptic. Cases of blood-poisoning that have resulted fatally have been caused by such wounds. If you wear colored hose, have them washed before wearing, as the dye may be injurious.
BUNIONS.—These painful enlargements are due to a too short shoe, or one that does not fit well. Better discard such footwear; it will be cheaper in the end. Paint the sore joint with a mixture of equal parts of glycerin, tincture of iodine and carbolic acid; using a camel's hair brush. Stockings that are too short may produce the same affliction.
CHILBLAINS.—People who have, or do not want chilblains should avoid woolen stockings. Neither should they "toast their toes" at the fire, wear bed-socks, or take a hot water-bottle to bed with them. Warm the feet by exercise, or vigorous rubbing. If very painful, try ice-cold applications, tincture of iodine, camphor, and tincture of chloride of iron are healing.
INGROWING NAILS.—A bad case should be taken to the chiropodist. Shaving the nail thin on the top, or cutting a V-shaped piece out of it, tend to relieve. Raise up the nail and put a bit of absorbent cotton under it. The best way is to avoid foot troubles by wearing well fitting shoes which are sufficiently large.
For Mother and Her Little Family
1. Thou shalt not frighten thy child by threats of punishment.
2. Thou shalt not visit thine own disappointments upon thy child, nor speak to him sharply without just cause.
3. Thou shalt not administer any rebuke while feeling anger toward thy child.
4. Thou shalt not require more of thy child than of thyself.
5. Thou shalt not speak discourteously to thy child.
6. Thou shalt not lie to thy child, neither break thy promise, nor deceive.
7. Thou shalt not waste thyself upon the effort to destroy evil tendencies and wrong activities in thy child, but shall remove temptation from him and cultivate his virtues and his righteous activities.
8. Thou shalt not curtail thy child's liberty but shall insist he respect the liberty of all others, even as his is respected.
9. Many hours shalt thou labor with thy child and do all thy work, dressing him, feeding him, teaching him, amusing him, but for one hour out of every seven waking hours shalt thou let him alone, and bother him not, neither thou, nor thy husband, nor thy nursemaid, nor thy friends, nor thy relatives nor any that are in thy house. For in that hour shall the Lord come unto him.
10. Thou shalt not force thy child in any respect, neither physically, mentally or morally. Thou shalt not force obedience, for forced obedience is not righteous; but thou shalt gently lead thy child along the way that he should go, having first passed over the road thyself.
Pray, little child for me tonight,That from thy lips like petals white,Thy words may fall and at His feetBloom for His path with fragrance sweet!Pray, little child, that I may beChildlike in innocence like thee,And simple in my faith and trustThrough all the battle's heat and dust!
Pray, little child, in thy white gown,Beside thy wee bed kneeling down;Pray, pray for me, for I do knowThy white words on soft wings will goUnto His heart, and on His breastLight as blown doves that seek for restUp the pale twilight path that gleamsUnder the spell of starry dreams!
Pray, little child, for me, and say:"Please, Father, keep him firm todayAgainst the shadow and the care,For Christ's sake!" Ask it in thy prayer,For well I know that thy pure word'Gainst louder tongues will have been heard,When the great moment comes that HeShall listen through His love for me!
Oh, little child, if I could feelOne atom of thy faith so real,Then might I bow and be as oneIn whose heart many currents runOf joyful confidence and cheer,Making each earthly moment dearWith sunshine and the sound of bellsOn the green hills and in the dells!
Pray, little child, for me tonight,That from thy lips in sunward flight,One word may fall with all its sweetUpon the velvet at His feet,That He may lift it to His earIts tender plea of love to hear,And lay it, granted, on the pileSigned with the signet of His smile!
Motherhood.—Motherhood is a profession that is overworked. The hours are long and holidays and vacations are few and far between. Mother gets a great deal of maudlin sympathy and not enough tangible aid, says a writer in the Housekeeper. Our poetic conception of the true mother is that her whole life is bound up in the welfare of her children and her family. At what age are her children not, for her, a matter of serious concern? She has ever had plenty of material which she can manufacture into worry and heartaches. Many mothers consume too much of their own nervous energy and jeopardize their health in what they think their bounden maternal duties. There is a judicious limit of all things even though they are virtues.
Mother.—The babe at first feeds upon the mother's bosom, but is always on her heart.—H. W. Beecher.
Baby's Layette.—The principal thing to be borne in mind regarding the baby's layette is that all the clothing should be light, soft, in both surface and texture, and porous also in order that the evaporation of perspiration and a certain ventilation of the skin may take place. Perfect simplicity, not only in material and trimming, but in the whole plan of the little garments will testify to good taste and common sense, and at the same time tend to eliminate much fretfulness and wailing.
Baby.—A sweet new blossom of humanity, fresh fallen from God's own home, to flower on earth.—Massey.
Boy's Garments.—Don't burden the boy with a whole array of separate garments, but give him a few good, heavy things. The lessened number will allow him freedom, and his comfort, too, is to be considered. Boy's trousers are now fully lined, and these with the right sort of underwear will give him the requisite warmth with very little unnecessary weight.
Boys.—A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.—Longfellow.
Pretty Things for Baby.—Among pretty articles for baby there are tiny ribbon garters to hold up the little sleeves, in colors to match the blue of the eyes or the pink of the cheeks, and there are huge soft rosettes of ribbon and hand embroidered strings for the cap, and gold baby pins and fleecy robes and bow-decked quilts.
Baby.—A rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded.—Byron.
Baby's Outing.—It is always better for a baby, no matter how young, to go out in a carriage than to be carried. Young babies are much more comfortable lying full length on a pillow placed in the carriage and properly covered than when carried in the arms.
Baby.—A lovely bud, so soft, so fair, called hence by early doom; just sent to show how sweet a flower in paradise would bloom.—Leigh Richmond.
Wild Flowers.—Children who gather wild flowers should be taught that they must not put them in their mouths. The buttercup, which is harmless enough to handle, contains an acid poison that will produce sore mouth, and taken into the stomach worse effects might result. It also contains a narcotic principle, anemonin, which has the property of diminishing the respiration and heart action.
Flowers.—It is with flowers as with moral qualities, the bright are sometimes poisonous, but I believe never the sweet.—Hare.
Reasoning versus Punishment.—There is one great point that all mothers should observe and that is not to punish children when reasoning would bring the same results. For needless correction blunts a child's sensitiveness. To state that it brutalizes him is putting it too positively, but it tends to develop indifference and hardness that one does not want a child to possess,
Discipline.—Be ever gentle with the children God has given you.—Watch over them constantly; reprove them earnestly, but not in anger.—In the forcible language of Scripture, "Be not bitter against them." "Yes, they are good boys," said a kind father. "I talk to them much, but I do not beat my children: the world will beat them." It was a beautiful thought, though not elegantly expressed.—Burritt.
Baby's Kimono.—The little flannel kimonos or wrappers, so convenient to slip on the baby before the morning bath, or if the room is at all chilly, may be made up in pretty styles, in delicate colors, bound with silk, and tied with tiny bows to match.
Early Schooling.—Of ten infants destined for different vocations, I should prefer that the one who is to study through life should be the least learned at the age of twelve. —Tissot.
Baby's Fine Dresses.—If the baby's dress is not made of the finest of handkerchief linen, French nainsook or a very fine batiste is usually chosen. These are the soft materials, soft as well as sheer. They are the materials on which embroidery is done most successfully and the baby dress de luxe is always hand embroidered. It may have on it the merest touch of hand work—scarcely more than a few eyelets and a tiny blossom and stem and yet follow the prescribed lines. The little round yokes are attached to the fulled on skirt portion with the tiniest of beading or else the yoke scallops are lapped down over the fullness. The neck is edged with the little hand-made scallops.
Nicknames.—A good name will wear out; a bad one may be turned; a nickname lasts forever.—Zimmermann.
Undergarments.—In buying the little wool shirts (wool being considered the most satisfactory for infants' undergarments) never get the heaviest weights; there are four usually offered, even for winter wear. The next to the heaviest is quite warm enough for winter, and for summer the lightest weight obtainable, preferably of a mixture of silk and wool; cotton and wool should not be used. In hot weather shirts of cotton gauze or a soft porous cotton stockinet are satisfactory.
Training.—The education of our children is never out of my mind. Train them to virtue, habituate them to industry, activity, and spirit. Make them consider every vice as shameful and unmanly. Fire them with ambition to be useful. Make them disdain to be destitute of any useful knowledge.—John Adams to his wife.
Baby's Nerves.—Never try to entertain a baby too vigorously. Little babies especially, but also children somewhat older, should never be subjected to unnecessary excitement. Older people seldom realize how exceedingly undeveloped the nervous system of a little child is, and any undue shock to it is apt to cause the direst consequence. Do not take very small children to the theatre or the circus. They don't understand it, and they can't enjoy it.
Intemperance.—Violent excitement exhausts the mind, and leaves it withered and sterile.—Fenelon.
Second Teeth.—When the baby's second teeth are cut there are often injurious influences to be combated. There is more or less chance for the formation of caries or tartar; care must be taken and counsel sought, and every effort made to prevent the aggravation of the evil.
Tears.—Tears are the safety-valves of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.—Albert Smith.
Going Barefoot.—The careful mother does not let her child run barefoot, no matter how they clamor to do it. If they wish to go shoeless, let them wear bathing sandals without stockings, is the advice of the writer, who adds, the germ of tetanus, better known as lockjaw, is frequently found in the soil and a child with even a small scratch or cut takes big risks. For girls, especially, running barefoot should be a forbidden pleasure as it makes the feet broad and flat.
Blessings on thee, little man,Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!With thy turned-up pantaloons,And thy merry whistled tunes;With thy red lip, redder stillKissed by strawberries on the hill;With the sunshine on thy face,Through thy torn brim's jaunty grace;From my heart I give thee joy,I was once a barefoot boy.
The Children's Sunday.—What can we do with the children on Sundays? Do not attempt to do anything unusual or make yourself miserable over their natural antics. Send them to the Sabbath School, never deny a child this privilege or be too negligent to give him the privilege, says the Woman's National Daily. A walk during the day to the park, woods or some place where the recreation is pleasant, is advisable. But do not get so modern in your views that you will permit them the riotous amusements in which they must usually indulge through the week. One cannot do wrong in impressing the sacredness of the day upon the children, for it is one of the deplorable features of modern life that the sacredness is sadly abused, and mostly by the young folk.
Idleness.—Idleness among children, as among men, is the root of all evil, and leads to no other evil more certain than ill-temper.—Hannah More.
Learning to Sew.—Every reasonable mother knows that it is wise to teach her little daughter to sew. Let her begin on the tiny garment of her doll. She will easily form the habit of mending torn places in dolly's clothes and replace absent buttons. With this experience, it will not be long before she will begin to take an interest in her own clothes, and so will not need to be warned that a button is coming off or that the hem of her skirt is coming out. But, of course, she could not begin by sewing or patching her own clothes, nor by mending intricate tears. First see that she sews on buttons correctly and then let her do some basting.
A Good Rule.—St. Edmund of Canterbury was right when he said to somebody."Work as though you would live forever; but live as though you would dietoday."—Henry Giles.
Double Duties.—Children should never be required to do housework to the extent a housekeeper must do it, for the strength of a growing child should be applied almost wholly to duties at school. A growing child cannot do mental and hard physical labor at the same time. Wiping dishes and assisting in the dusting do not interfere with school work, and are really good exercises. But the young girl who is compelled to rise early in the morning, prepare breakfast, assist with the family washing or ironing and prepare herself for school will lose out somewhere.
We little folks planted a wee, wee, tree,The tiniest tree of all;Right here by the school-house door it standsWith two little leaves like baby's hands,So crumpled and soft and small.
And I really believe it is ever so gladThat we planted it there to grow,And knows us and loves us and understands,For it claps them just like two little hands,Whenever the west winds blow.
The Flannel Binder.—The flannel binders for baby should be cut from the softest kind of flannel and on the bias to increase their elasticity. They should be about five inches wide and twenty inches long, with the edges raw, or pinked, perhaps, but not hemmed. After the first six or eight weeks the knitted, circular band which can be bought ready made or may be crocheted at home, is substituted for the flannel binder.
Over and over and overThese truths I will say and sing—That Love is mightier far than Hate;That a man's own Thought is a man's own Fate,And that life is a goodly thing.—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Wholesome Pleasures.—Pleasures for the little ones should be wholesome and sensible, and the dangers of excitement cannot be overestimated. Their minds so ready to receive impressions should receive only the best and most beneficial, the wholesome air play in the park, or the country, not too much company, nor too much noise, nor too many toys.
Between the dark and the daylight.When the night is beginning to lower,Comes a pause in the day's occupations,That is known as the Children's Hour.
I hear in the chamber above me,The patter of little feet,The sound of a door that is opened,And voices soft and sweet.—Longfellow.
Scrubbing Tender Faces.—Children have tender skins as a rule, and yet mothers are very apt to scrub the little faces with soap and water and send them out to play. Think of such treatment in connection with your own skin. If the children are going out at once after the washing, use warm water with plain unscented soap, then rub a little good cold cream into the skin.
Toiling.—rejoicing,—sorrowing,Onward through life he goes;Each morning sees some task begun,Each evening sees it close;Something attempted, something done,He has earned a night's repose.
Saving the Coverlet.—It is discouraging to the mother to find the eiderdown coverlets becoming soiled where the children rub their hands over them. This can be avoided by making a tiny sham of swiss or other similar material and basting it across the top of the coverlet. It can be pinned into place at the corners with tiny baby pins or caught with a few stitches. These shams edged with narrow lace add a really attractive touch to the coverlet, and they can be quickly removed and easily laundered.
The Greatness of Love.—There are no little events with the heart; it magnifies everything. It places in the same scale the falling of an empire and the dropping of a woman's glove; and the glove generally weighs more than the empire. —Honore De Balzac.
Oranges as Medicine.—One of the most valuable adjuncts in acquiring a generally good complexion in youth is that of eating oranges in quantities. Let the mother give her children two or three oranges every day, as they possess many virtues, especially upon the action of the liver. The mother who buys plenty of oranges for the children will note the reduction in her medicine bill.
When I meet a human face,Lit for me with light divine,I recall all loving eyes,That have ever answered mine.—Phoebe Cary.
The Art of Entertaining Children.—Entertaining convalescent children is quite an art in itself. Nurses who expect to make a specialty of caring for children sometimes take a brief course in kindergarten work, and certainly such knowledge is a valuable asset. Quiet games that do not call for too much exertion, paper-doll plays, the ever-delightful "cutting out" of pictures or fashion book people, making scrap books for children's hospitals and simple knitting or crocheting all help to amuse the little folk. Almost all children enjoy being read to, but care must be taken not to select stories that will depress the child or so excite him as to keep him awake at night or cause unpleasant dreams.
Tireless Talkers.—A sick man that gets talking about himself, a woman that gets talking about her baby, and an author that begins reading out of his own book, never know when to stop.—O. W. Holmes.
Unselfishness.—Unselfishness is the key of a happy and beautiful life, and this is one of the first things that should be taught to the little one, says a writer in The Woman Beautiful. Insist upon her sharing her pleasures, even at a great sacrifice with other children. One mother whom I know has trained her baby to extend an entire box of bon-bons to her little friends with the words "Hop yourself," and she does this with a charm and spontaneity which makes her irresistible.
A Cheerful Giver.—We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.—Seneca.
Indulgence.—It takes far more than the mere mother love to bring up children. It takes training, study, knowledge, says the New York Tribune. It takes self-control in the parents themselves. The mother who spoils a child through weak indulgence does not truly love her child. She loves her own pleasures in going along the line of least resistance.
Selfishness.—When parents spoil their children, it is less to please them than to please themselves. It is the egotism of parental love.—Carlyle.
Method.—Now that school days are here, mark umbrellas by writing name on muslin with ink and sewing to inside of top with black thread; overshoes and rubbers by writing name on the lining, and handkerchiefs by writing name across the center with ink.
System.—Marshal thy notions into a handsome method. One will carry twice more weight packed up in bundles, than when it lies flapping and hanging about his shoulders.—Fuller.
Baby's Meals.—To make a healthy baby of eighteen or twenty months wait for the meal times of adults before feeding, is putting too great a strain on the little system. Its diet should be adapted to its needs, says a careful mother. Five light feedings are much more scientific, the first at about six-thirty in the morning since baby keeps early hours. Milk and toast should be given at this time. At ten-thirty a. m., well cooked and well strained cereal might be served with rich milk. Cream is for older children. Stewed prunes, baked apples, and oranges are also good. Dinner at one-thirty might include meat broth, or soft boiled eggs, and bread and toast. Soups must be free from grease. Crackers or toast with a cup of milk should be served for the five o'clock supper, and another cup of milk at bedtime.
Forbearance.—There is a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.—Burke.
The Romper.—The romper has become an essential part of the young child's wardrobe. They are developed mostly in linen, galatea, and less expensively still in chambray. The best colors are dark blue, brown, green, tan and natural colored linen; green perhaps is best for summer. It is cool looking and it does not show grass stains. Short flowing sleeves are most satisfactory.
With mighty purpose in his mind,He clambers up. And then,With purpose quite as well defined,He scrambles down again.From "Seven Ages of Childhood."
Picnic Supplies.—Women taking small children to picnics should carry along a heavy quilt or blanket to place on the ground for the babies to sit on. There is always more dampness in the woods than out in the open, and summer colds are not pleasant for grown folk, much less wee tots. A few safety pins, needle and thread will not take up space in the big basket, and how often such articles are needed.
I've been a little girl so long,That, somehow, it seems almost wrongTo think how grown-up I shall beIn days that have to come to me.—Carolyn Wells.
Zweiback Noodles.—When making soup for children zweiback or Jew's bread is excellent for making noodles. Pound the bread to a powder, roll it with the rolling pin, sift and use the same as flour. It can also be used in milk as a baby food, and is often given to children with very delicate stomachs.
In the soft soil of little livesAffection quickly springs and thrivesAnd grows like anything;Its tiny tendrils Love puts out,Not knowing what it's all aboutBut glad to smile and sing.—Carolyn Wells.
Playgrounds for Boys.—In a certain Ohio city there is a large placard "Boys, you can play here," It is a large corner lot thronged the whole day through during the good weather with boys playing ball and other games. This lot which could be sold for thousands of dollars, has been donated to the boys for a playground near their homes, The owner realized that the streets are not suitable playgrounds for the children and that accidents occur there almost daily. The streets of our cities are poor places in which to play, bad for the boys, and still worse for the community, If you have vacant lots turn them over to the boys this summer. A boy never forgets a favor, and American boys are not going to abuse good privileges. The loneliest boys are those who are not allowed to play on the beautiful lawn at home, are not allowed on the streets, and wander about from place to place to be told "Move on," every place they go.
Fourscore, like twenty, has its tasks and toys;In earth's wide school-house all are girls and boys.—O. W. Holmes.
Disinfection of Toys and Books.—All toys that have been used by a child suffering from an infectious disease should be either burned or thoroughly disinfected before they are used again. Books read by the little patient should be especially guarded against.
In the breaking gulfs of sorrow,When the helpless feet stretch outAnd find in the deeps of darknessNo footing so solid as doubt,Then better one spar of Memory,One broken plank of the Past,That our human heart may cling to,Though hopeless of shore at last!
Keep Dainties Away from the Beginning.—The well-trained child does not crave unaccustomed dainties. It is natural that he should feel a curiosity with regard to a dish with which he is not familiar, and ask some questions about it. But that does not mean that any of it is to be given to him. A boy whose digestive organs were very delicate was taught from babyhood to sit in his high chair at the table and eat what was on his tray and was perfectly content with what he had, as he knew no other diet. Once in awhile he would ask: "Is that good for little boys?" and when his mother would answer gently, "No. darling, that would make little boys sick," he was perfectly satisfied. Never having tasted things not suited to his age he did not crave them. One cannot miss that which he has never had. As he grew older he reaped the benefit of the strict regime and his digestion was perfect.
New occasions teach new duties; Time makes ancient good uncouth;They must upward still, and onward, who would keep abreast of Truth;Lo, before us gleam her camp-fires! we ourselves must Pilgrims be,Launch our Mayflower, and steer boldly through the desperate winter sea,Nor attempt the Future's portal with the Past's blood-rusted key.—James Russell Lowell.
Temperature of Nursery.—Sixty degrees Fahrenheit is the proper temperature for the nursery, either in summer or in winter. This is not sufficiently warm to be weakening nor sufficiently cool to cause chills. Of course, when the natural heat of the atmosphere is higher than sixty degrees the temperature of the nursery cannot be kept that low, but with darkened windows during the heated portion of the day and good ventilation the room can be kept at a reasonably comfortable temperature.
Backward, turn backward, O Time in your flight,Make me a child again just for to-night!Mother, come back from the echoless shore,Take me again to your heart as of yore;Kiss from my forehead the furrows of care,Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair;Over my slumbers your loving watch keep;Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!—Florence Percy.
The Pinafore.—The ideal dress for children is, of course, the pinafore style. It is so easy to renew the overdress and under bodice as required and it is, moreover, invaluable to suit the weather changes from day to day. The serge overdress can have a little cotton or flannel blouse, just as thermometers demand.
Three days —Sugar. Sixty days —Vinegar. 1st anniversary —Iron. 5th anniversary —Wooden. 10th anniversary—Tin. 15th anniversary—Crystal. 20th anniversary—China. 25th anniversary—Silver. 30th anniversary—Cotton. 35th anniversary—Linen. 40th anniversary—Woolen. 45th anniversary—Silk. 50th anniversary—Gold. 75th anniversary—Diamond.
Afternoon Gowns.—Short afternoon gowns are proper for formal wear; especially for those who can wear the full skirts attached to narrow hem-bands. The dresses escape the floor by several inches and reveal the slippers and an inch of the colored hosiery.
A Song of Long Ago:Sing it lightly—sing it low—Sing it softly—like the lisping of thelips we used to knowWhen our baby-laughter spilledFrom the glad hearts ever filledWith music blithe as robin ever thrilled!—Riley.
Rather Hard on the Baby.—Here is some advice that appeared in a paper for mothers the other day: "The bottle must be kept perfectly clean. When the babe has finished drinking it should be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under the tap." One feels rather sorry for any babies thus treated.
Learning Wisdom.—We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery.—S. Smiles.
Nursery.—Today the nursery is looked upon as an essential apartment in a house where children abide, and from a hygienic standpoint, it may justly be called a sensible room, for children after they walk should not sleep in the mother's room. Whether the room is large or moderately small it should, by an means, have plenty of ventilation, the more windows the better. The room should be papered in light colors, also painted in light tones, though the blinds should be the darkest shade, to darken the room when necessary.
Cares of Matrimony.—Husbands and wives talk of the cares of matrimony, and bachelors and spinsters bear them.—W. Collins.
Awkwardness Due to Eyes.—A school teacher has remarked that many children are awkward, not through being ungainly in walking, but wholly because of impaired vision. It has been her experience with children in her department who were usually awkward and who had their eyes examined that there was something wrong with the vision, which was quickly overcome when glasses were purchased.
Medicine.—The disease and its medicine are like two factions in a besieged town; they tear one another to pieces, but both unite against their common enemy, Nature.—Jeffrey.
Baby's Petticoats.—Fine white flannel is the best material for baby's petticoats. They may be made in one piece, in princess style, or may consist of a flannel skirt attached to a loose cambric waist. These are decidedly preferable for summer and are really quite warm enough for any season.
Charity.—Prayer carries us half way to God, fasting brings us to the door of His palace, and alms-giving procures us admission.—Koran.
Tub for the Playroom.—Every playroom should be provided with a galvanized tub to hold water for sail boats. What boy does not like to play with water, boats and artificial fish? Do not expect him to be contented with toys or plays that amuse the little girl. The boy prefers splashing in water or making a noise with a hammer. Aquatic toys are numerous and reasonably cheap.
Gather the rosebuds while ye may,Old Time is still a-flying;And this same flower that smiles todayTo-morrow will be dying.—R. Herrick.
Cleaning the Rug at Home.—Baby's fur rug may be cleaned at home by giving it a thorough bath in dry cornmeal. Rub the meal in as though it were soap, shake it out and rub in more meal, letting it remain in the rug for a day or two. Then shake out and the appearance of the rug will be much improved.
The Value of Wise Conversation.—A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years' mere study of books.—Chinese Proverb.
Tooth Powder.—Look well at the teeth of the little ones. Charcoal and tincture of myrrh are very beneficial to the teeth of the young, and both are easily procured at any drug store.
Silence.—Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refuse.—Show.