MOTHER BUNCHOF THEWEST, ETC.
Reading over many ancient histories, it was my chance to meet with a story of an old woman who lived in the west county, who took delight in studying how she might know what a sweetheart she might have, for at that time she thought she had tarried very long; she being full twenty years of age, thought (in her mind) that her fortune was not so good as other maidens, which she knew was married some at fifteen, and some at sixteen, which troubled her very sore; but to prevent all other doubts, she was fully resolved to try an old story which she had heard her Grandmother talk of many a time and did, and finding some of them to be true she took upon her to teach other maidens, as you may hear in this following discourse.
Upon a time this old woman (having newly buried her husbandand was a widow) oftentimes delighted to walk abroad in the fields, to take the ayr, sometimes thinking of the loss of her husbands, for she had had three, yet she had a great desire to have another, intending to try her former rules. So it happened as she was walking alone, she espied a proper young maid in the side of a meadow near a hedge side. Good morrow, maid, said the old woman, how do you do? Are you not well you look so civily? Yes, said the maid, I am not sick neither am I very well, for I am a little troubled in my mind. What is it, said the old woman, tell me, and if I can do thee any good I shall be very willing, for I have some little judgment in many things, therefore be not ashamed to tell me the truth what it is that thou art so much troubled withall. Indeed, old mother, seeing you urge me so much I shall let you understand the truth, and thus it is: We be three sisters, and the youngest was married about a year ago, and the middlemost last week, and I am the eldest, and no man heeds me. Well, daughter, if this be all that thou tellest me I do believe I can teach thee how to ease thyself in this condition, for when I was young I myself was in the very same condition, and with reading over some histories I found out the art to know him that should be my husband, and what colour of hair he should be, which, if thou will promise me to keep my counsel, I shall be willing to teach thee. I will truly, and if you will do so much for me I shall think myself very much beholding unto you, and if my fortune prove right I will make you amends.
Why then I will tell you, in the first place thou must observe St. Agnes’s day, which is upon the 21st day of January, and on that day thou must be sure to keep a true fast, for thou must not eat anything all that day nor at night, and be sure that no man salute thee (not kiss thee I mean), no neither man woman nor child must kiss thy lips on that day, and then at night before thou go into thy bed, thou must be sure to put on a clean shift thou hast, and the best thou hast then the better thou may speed, and when thou lyest down lay thy right hand under thy head saying these words,Now the god of love send me my desires; and make sure thou as soon as thou can and thou shalt be sure to dream of him which must be thy husband and see him stand before thee and thou wilt take great notice of him and his complexion; and if he offer to salute thee do not deny him but show as much favour unto him as thou can; but if he offer to be uncivil unto thee make sure to hold thy legs together. And now, daughter, this counsel which I have given thee be sure to tell nobody, and so fare you well till I see you again.
I give you many thanks for your good advice, but one thing more I have to say unto you, What is your name? and where do you live? that I may come to see you again for I shall think the time long. Why I tell thee, daughter, my name is Mother Bunch and I live at a place called Bonny Venter, and if thou wilt but take the pains to come thither thou shalt be welcome, and so farewell.
Now Mother Bunch being departed from the maid, and going homeward she meets with another pretty young girl. Good morrow, Mother Bunch. Good morrow, pretty maid, whither are you going this morning? methinks you are very fine to-day. Fine, Mother Bunch, you do but think so. Nay I cannot discommend you; for such young maids as you must go handsome, or you will have much ado to get good husbands; for I know you think the time long. No, no, Mother, I am too young yet. Why daughter how old are you? Why I am but eighteen. But eighteen, never but it for I know thou think’st thou hast stayed long enough, and would as fain have a good husband as another. Aye, but Mother Bunch, good husbands are ill to find out, and especially with such as I am which has no skill in chusing, or else it may be I would fain have a husband as another. Why then daughter take my advice: if thou would have a good husband thou must be sure to be wise in chusing, that is to say take not one that hath a red head; for to be sure he will be one to love the smock so well, that he will be loth to let his wife have a good one to her back; neither take one that has yellow hair, for he will be apt to be jealous; no nor a black man, for they oft prove dogged. Ay, but hark you Mother Bunch if I must have neither red nor yellow nor black, what colour must I have then? It may be I have set my love on a yellow haird man already—Why, daughter, if it be so I can [tell] thee what will follow: if he prove jealous of thee thou wilt be driven into such a condition with his speeches thatthou may very well make his words good, for how should a woman forbear that which she is always told of? for to be sure if he be jealous of thee, thou hast cause to be jealous of him, for there is no man or woman that is jealous the one of the other but they are false themselves, for whores and thieves think all is alike. But hold a little, daughter, one thing more I have to say unto thee, and that is this. Take notice of thy sweethearts, when they come a wooing unto thee (I mean of their civil behaviour), for if they swear, and bow, and make great protestations, then have a care of thyself, for many words breed dissimulation; therefore have a care of such. But if a man come unto thee that is sparing of his words and very civil in his carriage, there is hopes he will prove a loving man and love passeth above all the meanes in the world. Well now Mother Bunch I must take my leave of you, giving you many thanks for your good advice; and so farewel, until I see you again, and I do intend to take your counsel.
Another time Mother Bunch was in a little meadow, not far from her own house, and it was on the 20th day of April very early in the morning before sunrising. A handsome young maid seeing her all alone, came unto her, and said, Mother Bunch, good morrow, how do you do? pray what makes you abroad so early this morning? I am persuaded you are in a study. Daughter you say very true; I am studying who must be my next husband; and if thou but please to stay a little while, thou shalt see a pretty art, which thou never saw before,for to teach thee to know thy sweetheart. That is a pretty art indeed, and I should be very glad to learn that art.
Hark! Hark! daughter, is not yonder the cuckoo singing? Yes, yes, and I have not heard her sing this year before now. Then, daughter, sit thee down by me, but hark you daughter, are you fasting? Yes, I have neither eat nor drank yet. Ay, but hath no young man kist thee to-day? No I did see no man to-day. Then sit thee down by me. I think the cuckoo is mad; what a life she leads; I think she is a witch and knows what we’re doing, but no matter; put off thy right foot shoe and stocking, and let me look between thy great toes. Now, daughter, see, this hair (which is a good long one); look well at it, and what colour it is (I think it is partly yellow). The very same colour will thy husband’s hair be. But, Mother Bunch I do not matter the colour so much as I do his condition. I will tell thee his condition; he may prove surly enough, but thou must strive to please him as much as you can both night and day for he will be very apt to go astray, and if he do thou must not much heed him but give him good words for thou hast very bad luck if thou cannot do him one good turn for another; but as for that thou must keep that to thyself; an ill bird befoules its own nest; kiss and tell is base play. Mother Bunch you make me smile, you talk so merrily. Come, daughter, ’tis no great matter; merry talk does do no harm, but drives the time away; but as for the deed doing, I leave that to your own discretion. But hark you! daughter, I have hadthree husbands myself, and I think to have another yet, and do you think I am so mad to tell him all that I do? no I am not so mad and I think thou wilt be a little wiser and yet daughter, I have another way for to teach thee how thou shalt come to know who must be thy husband, and I have approved it true; for I tryed it myself, and now is the best time of the year to try it, therefore take notice of what I say: Take a St. Thomas onion, and peel it, and lay it in a clean handkerchief and lay it under your head; and put on a clean smock, and be sure the room be clean swept where you lye, and as soon as you be laid down, be sure lay thy arms abroad, and say these words:
Good St. Thomas do me right,And bring my love to me this night,That I may look him in the face,And in my arms may him embrace.
Good St. Thomas do me right,And bring my love to me this night,That I may look him in the face,And in my arms may him embrace.
Good St. Thomas do me right,And bring my love to me this night,That I may look him in the face,And in my arms may him embrace.
Good St. Thomas do me right,And bring my love to me this night,That I may look him in the face,And in my arms may him embrace.
Good St. Thomas do me right,
And bring my love to me this night,
That I may look him in the face,
And in my arms may him embrace.
Then lying on thy back, with thy arms abroad, fall asleep as soon as thou can, and in thy first sleep thou shalt dream of him which shall be thy husband, and he will come and offer to kiss thee, but do not hinder him, but strive to catch him in thy arms, and if thou do get hold of him that is he which must be thy husband but if thou get not hold of him thou must try another night, and if thou do get hold of him hold him fast, for that is he. This I have try’d, and it has prov’d true. Yet I have another pretty way for a maid to know her sweetheart, which is as followeth: Take a summer apple, of the best fruit you can get, and take three of the best pins you can get, and stick theminto the apple close to the head, and as you stick them in take notice which of them is in the middle, and what name thou fancies best give that middle pin and put it into thy left handed glove, and lay it under thy pillow on a Saturday at night, but thou must be in bed before thou lays it under thy head, and when thou hast done, clasp thy hands together, speaking these words:—
If thou be he that must have meTo be thy wedded bride,Make no delay, but come away,This night to my bedside.
If thou be he that must have meTo be thy wedded bride,Make no delay, but come away,This night to my bedside.
If thou be he that must have meTo be thy wedded bride,Make no delay, but come away,This night to my bedside.
If thou be he that must have meTo be thy wedded bride,Make no delay, but come away,This night to my bedside.
If thou be he that must have me
To be thy wedded bride,
Make no delay, but come away,
This night to my bedside.
And in thy first sleep thou shalt see him come in his shirt and lie down by thee, and if he offer thee any abuse it will be a great sign he will prove one that will love other women as well as thee; but if he do put his hand over thee to imbrace thee be not afraid of him, for it is a great sign he will prove a good husband; and this is a good way for a young man to know his sweetheart, giving the middlemost pin the name he fancies best, putting an apple in his right handed glove, and lay it under his pillow, when he is in bed, saying,
If thou be she that must have meIn wedlock for to join,Make no delay but come awayUnto this bed of mine.
If thou be she that must have meIn wedlock for to join,Make no delay but come awayUnto this bed of mine.
If thou be she that must have meIn wedlock for to join,Make no delay but come awayUnto this bed of mine.
If thou be she that must have meIn wedlock for to join,Make no delay but come awayUnto this bed of mine.
If thou be she that must have me
In wedlock for to join,
Make no delay but come away
Unto this bed of mine.
And that night he shall see her come, and if she come in her smock and petticoat, which is a great sign she will prove a very civil woman; but if she come without her petticoat there isdanger she will prove a ranter, and therefore better lost than won. And now, daughter, the time passeth away and I must be gone, and so I bid you farewel. Mother Bunch, I give you many thanks for your good counsel, and intend to take your advice, and so fare you well.