LXXI.THE SUREST REMEDY.
TO the troubles and annoyances which befall housekeepers there is no end, if they are obliged to rely on servants for comfort and peace of mind. In social gatherings the conversation often turns on the trials they experience from this part of their household. It is not at all strange that it should be so, for “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh,” and verily in this particular the heart has ample reasons for being abundantly filled, and there is no end to just cause of complaint.
One girl is a good worker, but impudent; another is always willing, but very untidy. This one is neat, but so slow that her work is never finished. That one is unequaled in order and efficiency, but her temper is so uncertain you cannot make a suggestion without risking a storm that quite destroys all the pleasure her excellent work might otherwise afford you. One is extravagant and wasteful; another economical in using materials for your family, but dishonest in appropriating your property for her own benefit.
So, in a company of a dozen ladies, one takes up the discourse as the other ends, and, without exaggeration, proves her own trials even more vexatious than her neighbors’. It is possible that the mistress, by searching, may find some slight symptoms of these very defects in her own character. The least said on that side of the question the better, perhaps. But, as we once heard a lady say, “We don’t hire servants for that sort of actions.”
But, whatever may be the defects of the mistress, we know there are very strong foundations on which to build the complaints about servants; for it cannot be denied that these “troublesome comforts” have it in their power to diminish the sum of domestic happiness, to a degree which requires much grace and patience to endure with equanimity; and that the power they have usurped is on the increase will not, we imagine, be gainsaid. Once the employés in the family fully understood the position they were engaged to fill in their employer’s house; and knew that certain service was paid for, which must be strictly and honestly rendered, or they would lose their place, and having lost it, unrecommended, would find it difficult to secure another. Once—and the time is not so far distant but that most of us can still remember it—one girl was expected to do the work that we are now compelled to employ three to do. And this one girl did the work, and did it well,—far better than we can hopeto have it done now. She was not injured by it; no complaints were made, we mean in ordinary cases,—in every station some may be found who abuse power and cruelly oppress those whom circumstances have placed in an inferior position; but these are only solitary cases; as a general thing there was no ground for complaint. The service was kindly and cheerfully rendered. But now, with three or four girls, the work drags, is imperfectly done, and “the work is too hard” is the constant cry. Why is this? What reason can be assigned for a change so complete and annoying?
In part because the foreigners who land on our shores, and upon whom, unfortunately, we are obliged to depend for all labor which we cannot do ourselves, come to us with strange ideas of what is meant by all being “free and equal”; or, if you take one right from the emigrant vessel, it requires but a few weeks for those of their nation, who, having been here longer, think themselves better informed, to impart their knowledge, and teach erroneous ideas of these rights. Under such bad influence it takes but a short time for the modest stranger, whom you received into your house and endeavored to teach a correct mode of labor, to be transformed both in dress and manners into a bold, self-willed girl. Her countrywomen gather about her and warn her not to be “put upon,”—a favorite phrase among those whose chief aim is to get the highest price for the least labor. “Stand up for your rights”; and they proceed to expound a code of “rights” which, if they were allowed to carry into practice, would soon leave us entirely at their mercy.
They are told to insist upon just so many times at church, and certain days “out.” Then the funerals—and there never was such mortality as is always happening among our servants’ relations, particularly the cousins—and the weddings, and the baptism of infants for which our girls are to stand “sponsors,” all come upon us in quick succession.Then, every step of the work each girl is expected to do must be carefully defined, and you are not to be allowed to call upon them, on any condition, for one thing over and above the specified labor.
How has this class of persons succeeded in taking and maintaining such a stand? In part it has grown up, gradually, from seeing in their employers the independence that is a distinctive peculiarity in our national character. But that which, when rightly regulated, is a noble thing, when used by uninformed and undisciplined minds, for selfish ends, is not likely to bring forth the most desirable results.
But is not the trouble and disturbance through our servants, which particularly characterizes the present day, in part the fault of theignoranceof the mistress? Our ladies give much less attention to domestic affairs than in former times; and our young ladies are growing up, for the most part, poor housekeepers. The material for the very best of servants may be easily ruined by a poor mistress. Much time and money is expended on the education of our girls; but that part of education which would help to keep them strong and healthful is almost entirely ignored,—we mean regular work, at stated times, about the house; not only to establish good health, but to secure a thorough knowledge of domestic operations.
“What time has a young girl to do anything at home?” True. What time for home affairs, with the present mode of education, and the present customs of social life, have young men or maidens? Our teachers know they are expected to “fill” their pupils to the utmost extent of their mental capacity, and social life grasps every moment that can be spared from books or schools, even claiming the hours that should be given to sleep. No matter about the health. “That is not our business,” say the educators; and, “That is not our business,” echoes Fashion. Our childrengo from one study to another—rushing on to be educated—as fast as possible; and, in two years after leaving college or seminary, of what practical use will half these studies, for which they have given so much time and health, be to them? Far be it from us to undervalue a thorough, practical education,—one that will fit our boys and girls to lead good and useful lives. “Its price is above rubies.” But we sometimes think that they are being educated to death; mind and body enfeebled and made unhealthy for lack of practical common-sense on the part of parents and teachers. If more time was given to physical labor while our children are growing up, and less time to schools, and fewer studies crowded into each term, the fathers and mothers would not grow old so fast,—being relieved of part of their work; and our young people would have nobler minds in sounder bodies.
But to return to housekeeping, and the young who must take that position: let them secure as much knowledge as they can without injury to health, but let it be understood that, whatever place they may be called upon to occupy, a thorough domestic education will be the best foundation on which to build, and by which they can best secure happiness, honor, and usefulness.
Instead of filling the papers with lamentations because they are not permitted certain rights which an unregulated ambition urges them to claim, let our women first be certain that they fully understand how to exercise all therightswhich are unalienably their own, and which no one attempts to dispute. Let these rights be well cared for and properly executed, and who will object to any woman’s reaching out after, and securing just as many more as she can possibly assume and manage successfully, without neglect of other duties already her own. Let the highest right, the noblest that woman can desire,—for it is next to the angels’,—thesupreme rightwhich God gave us, and no man disputes or can usurp, be fully appreciated and acted upon,—the right to make a glorioushome, to make our husbands nobler, because they are happy and comfortable there (they don’t know how to do that, they can’t take care of themselves without us); the right to nurse and rear and bless our children; the right, with the ability, to teach our servants by our own practice how to be a blessing to themselves and to us. Then enter the lists, if you choose, and do battle for just as many of what have been calledman’s rightsas you are capable of managing well, or have any ambition for.
Until these first duties are understood and properly performed the prospects for home comforts and happiness are very shadowy. The fault is not wholly with the servants. If those duties which belong to the mistress are delegated to uneducated, ill-informed subordinates, what, even with the very best intentions, can you expect but anarchy and misrule? Care and experience are as essential to good housekeeping and home comforts as in any other profession or field of labor.
The lawyer cannot look for success in his profession if he simply opens an office and delegates the care to an ignorant office-boy, while he himself knows nothing about law, and never studies. The doctor gives years of time and study before he attempts to practice. The merchant goes through a long apprenticeship before he commences business for himself; but our young girls leave the school-room to assume arightof which they know nothing,—the privilege and honor of making ahome. If women would only understand how much skill and power is requisite, what a noble, honorable thing it is to succeed, or become eminent as ahomemaker, there would be fewer boarding-houses, fewer miserable, dissipated husbands, fewer fast, wild, reckless children, and fewer worthless servants.