Winged cartoon of Dr. W. G. Grace.As champion him the whole world hails,Lords! How he smites and thumps!It takes a week to reach the bailsWhen he's before the stumps.
As champion him the whole world hails,Lords! How he smites and thumps!It takes a week to reach the bailsWhen he's before the stumps.
As champion him the whole world hails,Lords! How he smites and thumps!It takes a week to reach the bailsWhen he's before the stumps.
As champion him the whole world hails,
Lords! How he smites and thumps!
It takes a week to reach the bails
When he's before the stumps.
"Chevy Chase" (revised).
Spectators at cricket match.Caught at Lord's.—Cambridge Swell."Aw, Public Schools' match! Aw, nevar was at one before! Not so bad!"Stumpy Oxonian."Ours in miniatu-are! Ours in miniatu-are!!"
Caught at Lord's.—Cambridge Swell."Aw, Public Schools' match! Aw, nevar was at one before! Not so bad!"
Stumpy Oxonian."Ours in miniatu-are! Ours in miniatu-are!!"
Man eating beside horse drawn harrow.EATIN'v.HARROW
EATIN'v.HARROW
Overweight fielder chasing a ball.DELIGHTFUL OUT-DOOR EXERCISE IN WARM WEATHERRunning after "another four!" at cricket, amidst derisive shouts of "Now then, butter-fingers!"—"Oh! Oh"—"Throw it in! Look sharp!"—"Quick! In with it!" &c. &c.
DELIGHTFUL OUT-DOOR EXERCISE IN WARM WEATHER
Running after "another four!" at cricket, amidst derisive shouts of "Now then, butter-fingers!"—"Oh! Oh"—"Throw it in! Look sharp!"—"Quick! In with it!" &c. &c.
Pneumatic leg guard.SUGGESTION FOR THE CRICKET SEASONThe new pneumatic leg guard. (Mr. Punch'spatent.)
SUGGESTION FOR THE CRICKET SEASONThe new pneumatic leg guard. (Mr. Punch'spatent.)
Boy talking to imposing figure.
FORM
Public School Boy(to General Sir George, G.C.B., G.S.I., V.C., &c., &c., &c.). I say, Grandpapa,—a—would you mind just putting on your hata little straighter? Here comesCodgers—he's awfully particular—and he's thecaptain of our eleven, you know!"
Laura(who wishes to master the mysteries of Cricket). "But then, Emily, what happens if the bowler gets out before the batter?"
[Emily gives it up!
Boy with Peer of the realm.EATIN' BOY AT LORD'S
EATIN' BOY AT LORD'S
Small Boy Cricket.—Father.Well, and how did you get on?Small Boy.Oh, I kept wicket and caught one out. It came off his foot.Father.But that wouldn't be out.Small Boy.Oh, yes, it was. The umpire gave it out. You see, it hit him "below the elbow."
To Cricketers.—What would you give a thirsty batsman? Why, afull pitcher.
Cricketing and Fashionable Intelligence.—We hear that a distinguished member of the Cricketing Eleven of All England is going to be married. It is said that the object of his affections is a Beautiful Catch.
By Dumb-Crambo Junior.
Cow tossing small animal.WINNING THE TOSS
WINNING THE TOSS
Crocodile chasing man.FOLLOWING ON, AND OPENING WITH A WIDE
FOLLOWING ON, AND OPENING WITH A WIDE
Man reading copy of 'Tom Jones'.EXCELLENT FIELDING
EXCELLENT FIELDING
Man boring listeners.LONG STOP
LONG STOP
Man bowling at wooden leg.BOWLING HIS OFF STUMP
BOWLING HIS OFF STUMP
Courting couple at gate.CAUGHT AT THE WICKET
CAUGHT AT THE WICKET
Squabble at urchin's cricket match.PRECEDENCE AT BATTERSEA"Garn! The treasurer goes in before the bloomin' seckertary!"
PRECEDENCE AT BATTERSEA
"Garn! The treasurer goes in before the bloomin' seckertary!"
(In a Pluvial Autumn.)
Rain, rain, go away,Come again before next May!The driving shower and chilling raw gustAre most inopportune in August.Rain has a chance to reign, remember,Till early summer from September.Why come and spoil cricket's last pages,Our wickets—and our averages?
Rain, rain, go away,Come again before next May!The driving shower and chilling raw gustAre most inopportune in August.Rain has a chance to reign, remember,Till early summer from September.Why come and spoil cricket's last pages,Our wickets—and our averages?
Rain, rain, go away,
Come again before next May!
The driving shower and chilling raw gust
Are most inopportune in August.
Rain has a chance to reign, remember,
Till early summer from September.
Why come and spoil cricket's last pages,
Our wickets—and our averages?
Cricketers preparing to defend cricket ground.LORD'S IN DANGER. THE M. C. C. GO OUT TO MEET THE ENEMY["Sir Edward Watkin proposes to construct a railway passing through Lord's Cricket Ground."]
LORD'S IN DANGER. THE M. C. C. GO OUT TO MEET THE ENEMY
["Sir Edward Watkin proposes to construct a railway passing through Lord's Cricket Ground."]
Batsman talking to wicket keeper.Our Opening Match.—"I say, Bill, you've got that pad on the wrong leg." "Yus, I know. I thought as I were goin' in t' other end!"
Our Opening Match.—"I say, Bill, you've got that pad on the wrong leg." "Yus, I know. I thought as I were goin' in t' other end!"
Cleric talkimg to cricketer.
"Cricketing Intelligence."—Sporting Old Parson(to professional player). "Why is a ball like that called a 'yorker,' sir?"Professional Player."A 'yorker,' sir? Oh, when the ball's pitched right up to the block—-"Sporting Parson."Yes, yes—I didn't ask you what a 'yorker' was"— (with dignity)—"I know that as well as you do. But why is it called a 'yorker'?"Professional Player."Well, I can't say, sir. I don't know what else you could call it!"]
The canny Scot may talk a lotOf golf and its attraction,And "putt" and "tee" for him may beA source of satisfaction;While maidens meek with rapture speakOf croquet's fascination,Tho' I suspect 'twere more correctTo call their game "flirtation."But cricket's the thing for Summer and Spring!Three cheers for cricket, of all games the king!The man who boats his time devotesTo rowing or to sailing,In shine or rain he has to train,With energy unfailing.A tennis set finds favour yetWith merry men and matrons.In lazy souls the game of bowlsIs not without its patrons.A day that's fine I do opineIs much to be desired;An "even pitch" I ask for, whichIs certainly required;Then add to that a "steady bat,"A bowler "on the wicket,"A "field" that's "smart," then we can startThe noble game of cricket.
The canny Scot may talk a lotOf golf and its attraction,And "putt" and "tee" for him may beA source of satisfaction;While maidens meek with rapture speakOf croquet's fascination,Tho' I suspect 'twere more correctTo call their game "flirtation."But cricket's the thing for Summer and Spring!Three cheers for cricket, of all games the king!The man who boats his time devotesTo rowing or to sailing,In shine or rain he has to train,With energy unfailing.A tennis set finds favour yetWith merry men and matrons.In lazy souls the game of bowlsIs not without its patrons.A day that's fine I do opineIs much to be desired;An "even pitch" I ask for, whichIs certainly required;Then add to that a "steady bat,"A bowler "on the wicket,"A "field" that's "smart," then we can startThe noble game of cricket.
The canny Scot may talk a lot
Of golf and its attraction,
And "putt" and "tee" for him may be
A source of satisfaction;
While maidens meek with rapture speak
Of croquet's fascination,
Tho' I suspect 'twere more correct
To call their game "flirtation."
But cricket's the thing for Summer and Spring!
Three cheers for cricket, of all games the king!
The man who boats his time devotes
To rowing or to sailing,
In shine or rain he has to train,
With energy unfailing.
A tennis set finds favour yet
With merry men and matrons.
In lazy souls the game of bowls
Is not without its patrons.
A day that's fine I do opine
Is much to be desired;
An "even pitch" I ask for, which
Is certainly required;
Then add to that a "steady bat,"
A bowler "on the wicket,"
A "field" that's "smart," then we can start
The noble game of cricket.
Drawn with a stump by Dumb-Crambo Junior.
Tom Bowling with girl.BOWLING STARTED WITH A MAIDEN
BOWLING STARTED WITH A MAIDEN
Men ignored by lady.A CUT FOR THREE
A CUT FOR THREE
Carriage ride to Gretna Green.A DRIVE TO THE OFF FOR A COUPLE
A DRIVE TO THE OFF FOR A COUPLE
Child saved from falling over.CAUGHT AT SLIP
CAUGHT AT SLIP
Bear up a pole taking a bun.TAKEN AT POINT
TAKEN AT POINT
Lady buying from street seller.WIDE BAWL AND BUY
WIDE BAWL AND BUY
Bowling.
1. Should you desire to bowl leg-breaks, close the right eye.
2. Off-breaks are obtained by closing the left eye.
3. To bowl straight, close both.
Batting.
1. Don't be afraid to leave the "popping" crease—there is another at the other end.
2. County cricketers use the curved side of the bat for driving.
3. A "leg glance" is not football.
4. When "over" is called, don't cross the wicket.
Fielding.
1. Stop the ball with your feet. If you are unable to find it, step on one side.
2. To catch a ball, sit down gracefully and wait.
3. When throwing in from the country, aim half-way up the pitch; you may then hit one of the wickets—which one I don't know.
Postscript.
The spirit in which the game should be played is best shown by the following extract from theLeicester Daily Mercury:—
Barrow Ladiesv.Thrussington Ladies."Barrow went in first, but were dismissed for sixteen. Only three Thrussington ladies batted, owing to the Barrow team refusing to field, because the umpire gave Miss Reid in for an appeal for run out."
Barrow Ladiesv.Thrussington Ladies.
"Barrow went in first, but were dismissed for sixteen. Only three Thrussington ladies batted, owing to the Barrow team refusing to field, because the umpire gave Miss Reid in for an appeal for run out."
Two men talking at a cricket match.Two Sides to a Question.--Major Podmore."Congratulate you, dear boy!"Disappointed Cricketer."What do you mean? Bowled first ball--never got a run!"Major Podmore."Quite so, dear boy. But in this hot weather--80° in the shade--so much better, if you can, to take things coolly!"
Two Sides to a Question.--Major Podmore."Congratulate you, dear boy!"Disappointed Cricketer."What do you mean? Bowled first ball--never got a run!"Major Podmore."Quite so, dear boy. But in this hot weather--80° in the shade--so much better, if you can, to take things coolly!"
Whatis the companion game to Parlour Croquet? Cricket on the Hearth.
Epitaph on an Old Cricketer's Tombstone.—"Out at 70."
Operatic Song for a Cricketer.—"Batti, Batti!"
Sentiment for a Cricket Club Dinner.—May the British Umpire rule the wide world over.
By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat.
Tall man speaking to short manLONG LEG AND SHORT LEG
LONG LEG AND SHORT LEG
Small seaman to his ship.SHORT MID OFF
SHORT MID OFF
Man carving at dinner table.CUTTING FOR FOUR
CUTTING FOR FOUR
Baby with empty bowl.A CLEAN BOWL
A CLEAN BOWL
The Battle of the Sexes.—Middlesexv.Sussex.
Cricket Match to Come Off.—The Teetotallers' Elevenv.The Licensed Victuallers'.
Stump Orations.—Speeches at cricket-club dinners.
Cricketer bowling a ball.TOM BOWLING
TOM BOWLING
Except at lunch, I cannot sayWith truth that we are stayers;Yet, though on village greens we play,We're far from common players.The mason blocks with careful eye;We dub him "Old Stonewall."The blacksmith hammers hard and high,And the spreading chestnuts fall.Sheer terror strikes our enemiesWhen comes the postman's knock,Whereas his slow deliveriesWould suit the veriest crock.The butcher prides himself on chops;His leg-cuts are a joke;But when he lambs the slow long-hopsThere's beef behind his stroke.The grocer seldom cracks his egg:He cannot catch; he butters.The gardener mows each ball to leg,And trundles daisy-cutters.Our tailor's cut is world-renowned;The coachman's drives are rare;He'll either cart you from the groundOr go home with a pair.The village constable is stout,Yet tries short runs to win;They say he's run more people outThan ever he ran in.The curate (captain) every matchBowls piffle doomed to slaughter,But still is thought a splendid catch—By the vicar's elderly daughter.The watchmaker winds up the side,But fails to time his pulls;By now he must be well suppliedWith pairs of spectacles.Our umpire's fair; he says "Not Out,"Or "Out," just as he thinks;And gives the benefit of the doubtTo all who stand him drinks.No beatings (beatings are the rule)Can make our pride diminish;Last week we downed the Blind Boys' SchoolAfter a glorious finish!
Except at lunch, I cannot sayWith truth that we are stayers;Yet, though on village greens we play,We're far from common players.
Except at lunch, I cannot say
With truth that we are stayers;
Yet, though on village greens we play,
We're far from common players.
The mason blocks with careful eye;We dub him "Old Stonewall."The blacksmith hammers hard and high,And the spreading chestnuts fall.
The mason blocks with careful eye;
We dub him "Old Stonewall."
The blacksmith hammers hard and high,
And the spreading chestnuts fall.
Sheer terror strikes our enemiesWhen comes the postman's knock,Whereas his slow deliveriesWould suit the veriest crock.
Sheer terror strikes our enemies
When comes the postman's knock,
Whereas his slow deliveries
Would suit the veriest crock.
The butcher prides himself on chops;His leg-cuts are a joke;But when he lambs the slow long-hopsThere's beef behind his stroke.
The butcher prides himself on chops;
His leg-cuts are a joke;
But when he lambs the slow long-hops
There's beef behind his stroke.
The grocer seldom cracks his egg:He cannot catch; he butters.The gardener mows each ball to leg,And trundles daisy-cutters.
The grocer seldom cracks his egg:
He cannot catch; he butters.
The gardener mows each ball to leg,
And trundles daisy-cutters.
Our tailor's cut is world-renowned;The coachman's drives are rare;He'll either cart you from the groundOr go home with a pair.
Our tailor's cut is world-renowned;
The coachman's drives are rare;
He'll either cart you from the ground
Or go home with a pair.
The village constable is stout,Yet tries short runs to win;They say he's run more people outThan ever he ran in.
The village constable is stout,
Yet tries short runs to win;
They say he's run more people out
Than ever he ran in.
The curate (captain) every matchBowls piffle doomed to slaughter,But still is thought a splendid catch—By the vicar's elderly daughter.
The curate (captain) every match
Bowls piffle doomed to slaughter,
But still is thought a splendid catch—
By the vicar's elderly daughter.
The watchmaker winds up the side,But fails to time his pulls;By now he must be well suppliedWith pairs of spectacles.
The watchmaker winds up the side,
But fails to time his pulls;
By now he must be well supplied
With pairs of spectacles.
Our umpire's fair; he says "Not Out,"Or "Out," just as he thinks;And gives the benefit of the doubtTo all who stand him drinks.
Our umpire's fair; he says "Not Out,"
Or "Out," just as he thinks;
And gives the benefit of the doubt
To all who stand him drinks.
No beatings (beatings are the rule)Can make our pride diminish;Last week we downed the Blind Boys' SchoolAfter a glorious finish!
No beatings (beatings are the rule)
Can make our pride diminish;
Last week we downed the Blind Boys' School
After a glorious finish!
Imaginary cricket match."ANIMAL SPIRITS"The Great Cricket Match. "Englandv.Australia." Umpires, the two wombats.
"ANIMAL SPIRITS"
The Great Cricket Match. "Englandv.Australia." Umpires, the two wombats.
Cockney Motto for a Feeble Cricketer.—"Take 'Art ofGrace!"
Good News after the last Cricket Match.—Rest for the wicket.
By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat.
Man showing empty pockets.STUMPED
STUMPED
Amorous couple being wattched.CAUGHT OUT
CAUGHT OUT
Man with empty barrel.RUN OUT
RUN OUT
Dentist extracting teeth.DRAWING THE STUMPS
DRAWING THE STUMPS
At the Gentlemen v. Players Return Match.
New Yorker.Say, can I get a square meal here?
Waiter(with dignity). This, sir, is the Oval 2s.6d.Luncheon.
DRAMATIC DUET
Sharp Person(asks, singing). In what hand should a cricketer write?
Dull Person(answers, also singing). I don't quite understand.
Sharp Person(annoyed). Shall I repeat—
Sharper Person(briskly sings). Oh no! I see't, He'll write in abowl'd round hand.
[ExitSharp PersonL.H.Sharper Persondances offR.H.Dull Personis left thinking.
[ExitSharp PersonL.H.Sharper Persondances offR.H.Dull Personis left thinking.
A Hundred Up
Tommy(reading daily paper). What's a centenarian, Bill?
Bill(promptly). A cricketer, of course, who makes a hundred runs.
Tommy.You don't say so.Ithought he was called a centurion.
A well-known cricketer was expecting an interesting family event. Suddenly the nurse rushed into his smoking-room. "Well, nurse?" he said, "what is it?" "Two fine byes," announced the nurse.
By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat.
Man painting wicketsPITCHING THE WICKET
PITCHING THE WICKET
cartoonA MAIDEN OVER——?
A MAIDEN OVER——?
Carriage ride to Brighton pavillionA DRIVE TO THE PAVILION
A DRIVE TO THE PAVILION
Man proposing marriage.HOLDING A CATCH
HOLDING A CATCH
To be seen for Nothing.—The play of the features.
Motto for British Cricketers.—Strike only at the ball!
A FEW QUESTIONS ON CRICKET
Q.What is "fielding"?
A.The author ofTom Jones.
Q.How do you stop a ball?
A.By putting out the lights.
Q.When does a party change sides?
A.When he's in bed, and got the fidgets.
Q.What do you call "a long slip"?
A.A hundred songs for a halfpenny.
Q.How much is game?
A.It depends whether it's in season.
Fancyour dear old lady's horror when she heard that last week, at Lord's, a cricketer had bowled a maiden over. "Poor thing!" exclaimed Mrs. R., "I hope she was picked up again quickly, and wasn't much hurt."
PHILOSOPHY AT THE POPPING CREASE
"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure,That itmustbe the slowest should see at a glance,For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure,Mustbe in its nature a mere game of chance,"'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;—'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings.Half depends on the "pitch"—of the wickets, you know,The rest on the "toss"—for first innings.
"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure,That itmustbe the slowest should see at a glance,For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure,Mustbe in its nature a mere game of chance,"'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;—'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings.Half depends on the "pitch"—of the wickets, you know,The rest on the "toss"—for first innings.
"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure,
That itmustbe the slowest should see at a glance,
For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure,
Mustbe in its nature a mere game of chance,
"'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;—
'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings.
Half depends on the "pitch"—of the wickets, you know,
The rest on the "toss"—for first innings.
The umpire makes a decision.Bowler(his sixth appeal for an obvious leg-before). "'Ow's that?"Umpire(drawing out watch). "Well, he's been in ten minutes now—Hout!"
Bowler(his sixth appeal for an obvious leg-before). "'Ow's that?"
Umpire(drawing out watch). "Well, he's been in ten minutes now—Hout!"
Umpire, a Fireman, runnig to obey a fire call.Our Village Cricket Club.—Tom Huggins, of the local fire brigade, umpires for the visiting team in an emergency. Laden, as is usual, with their wealth, watches, etc., he hears the fire-bell, and obeys duty's call without loss of time!
Our Village Cricket Club.—Tom Huggins, of the local fire brigade, umpires for the visiting team in an emergency. Laden, as is usual, with their wealth, watches, etc., he hears the fire-bell, and obeys duty's call without loss of time!
Lady speaking to cricketer, awaiting his turn to bat.The Limitations of Fame.—"And what are you?" "Oh, I'm the wicket-keeper." "Then why aren't you busy taking the gate-money?"
The Limitations of Fame.—"And what are you?" "Oh, I'm the wicket-keeper." "Then why aren't you busy taking the gate-money?"
CON. FOR A CRICKETER
Miss Nelly sits cool in the cricketer's boothAnd watches the game, about which, in good sooth,Her curious interest ne'er ceases.She now wants to know of the flannel-clad youth,However the wickets can well be kept smooth,When she hears they are alwaysin creases!
Miss Nelly sits cool in the cricketer's boothAnd watches the game, about which, in good sooth,Her curious interest ne'er ceases.She now wants to know of the flannel-clad youth,However the wickets can well be kept smooth,When she hears they are alwaysin creases!
Miss Nelly sits cool in the cricketer's booth
And watches the game, about which, in good sooth,
Her curious interest ne'er ceases.
She now wants to know of the flannel-clad youth,
However the wickets can well be kept smooth,
When she hears they are alwaysin creases!
Miltonic Meditation(by a looker-on at lawn-tennis).—"They alsoservewho only stand and wait."
Appropriate to the Season.
Q.What is double as good a game as Fives?
A.(evident) Tennis.
Going to the Deuce.—Getting thirty to forty at lawn-tennis.
Suggestion to Provincial Lawn-Tennis Club.—Why not give lawn-tennis balls in costume during the winter?
Most Appropriate Attire.—A "grass-lawn" tennis costume.
The Game for Rackety Bishops.—Lawn-tennis.
Two ladies talking.
Miss Delamode(of Belgravia). "Well, dear, I must be off. Don't you love Lord's?"
Miss Dowdesley(of Far-West Kensingtonia). "I'm sure I should, only——" (immersed in her own dreams)—"We don't know any!"
OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUBI
At our opening match, Spinner, the demon left-hander, was again in great form. His masterly skill in placing the field, and his sound knowledge of the game, really won the match for us.
Bowler setting out fielders."About three feet nine to the right, please, Colonel—that is to say, your right. That's it. Back a little, just where the buff Orpington's feeding. Thanks."
"About three feet nine to the right, please, Colonel—that is to say, your right. That's it. Back a little, just where the buff Orpington's feeding. Thanks."
OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUBII
Bowler positioning fielder."You, Mr. Stewart, by this thistle. Just to save the one, you know."
"You, Mr. Stewart, by this thistle. Just to save the one, you know."
OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUBIII
Cricketer taking guardHis ruses were magnificent. When the Squire came in, Spinner (who had previously held a private consultation with the other bowler) shouted, "You won't want a fine leg for this man. Put him deep and square. And then——
His ruses were magnificent. When the Squire came in, Spinner (who had previously held a private consultation with the other bowler) shouted, "You won't want a fine leg for this man. Put him deep and square. And then——
OUR VILLAGE CRICKET CLUBIV
Batsman caught out by bowler.The Squire was neatly taken first ball off a glance at fine leg by Spinner himself, who had crossed over (exactly as arranged) from his place at slip.
The Squire was neatly taken first ball off a glance at fine leg by Spinner himself, who had crossed over (exactly as arranged) from his place at slip.
Now lawn-tennis is beginning, and we'll set the balls a-spinningO'er the net and on the greensward with a very careful aim;You must work, as I'm a sinner, if you wish to prove a winner,For we're getting scientific at this fascinating game.You must know when it is folly to attempt a clever "volley,"Or to give the ball when "serving" it an aggravating twist;Though a neatly-made backhander may arouse a rival's dander,You'll remember when you try it that it's very often missed.Though your play thrown in the shade is by the prowess of the ladies,You must take your beating kindly with a smile upon your face;And 'twill often be the duty of some tennis-playing beautyTo console you by remarking that defeat is not disgrace.For you doubtless find flirtation at this pleasant occupationIs as easy as at croquet; when you're "serving" byherside,You can hint your tender feeling, all your state of mind revealing,And, when winning "sets" together, you may find you've won a bride.So we'll don the flannel jacket, and take out the trusty racket,And though other folks slay pigeons, we'll forswear that cruel sport,And through summer seek a haven on the sward so smoothly shaven,With the whitened linesen règlefor a neat lawn-tennis court.
Now lawn-tennis is beginning, and we'll set the balls a-spinningO'er the net and on the greensward with a very careful aim;You must work, as I'm a sinner, if you wish to prove a winner,For we're getting scientific at this fascinating game.
Now lawn-tennis is beginning, and we'll set the balls a-spinning
O'er the net and on the greensward with a very careful aim;
You must work, as I'm a sinner, if you wish to prove a winner,
For we're getting scientific at this fascinating game.
You must know when it is folly to attempt a clever "volley,"Or to give the ball when "serving" it an aggravating twist;Though a neatly-made backhander may arouse a rival's dander,You'll remember when you try it that it's very often missed.
You must know when it is folly to attempt a clever "volley,"
Or to give the ball when "serving" it an aggravating twist;
Though a neatly-made backhander may arouse a rival's dander,
You'll remember when you try it that it's very often missed.
Though your play thrown in the shade is by the prowess of the ladies,You must take your beating kindly with a smile upon your face;And 'twill often be the duty of some tennis-playing beautyTo console you by remarking that defeat is not disgrace.
Though your play thrown in the shade is by the prowess of the ladies,
You must take your beating kindly with a smile upon your face;
And 'twill often be the duty of some tennis-playing beauty
To console you by remarking that defeat is not disgrace.
For you doubtless find flirtation at this pleasant occupationIs as easy as at croquet; when you're "serving" byherside,You can hint your tender feeling, all your state of mind revealing,And, when winning "sets" together, you may find you've won a bride.
For you doubtless find flirtation at this pleasant occupation
Is as easy as at croquet; when you're "serving" byherside,
You can hint your tender feeling, all your state of mind revealing,
And, when winning "sets" together, you may find you've won a bride.
So we'll don the flannel jacket, and take out the trusty racket,And though other folks slay pigeons, we'll forswear that cruel sport,And through summer seek a haven on the sward so smoothly shaven,With the whitened linesen règlefor a neat lawn-tennis court.
So we'll don the flannel jacket, and take out the trusty racket,
And though other folks slay pigeons, we'll forswear that cruel sport,
And through summer seek a haven on the sward so smoothly shaven,
With the whitened linesen règlefor a neat lawn-tennis court.
The Place for Lawn-Tennis.—"Way down in Tennessee."
Two women watching cricket.A SKETCH AT LORD'SEva(for the benefit of Maud, who is not so well-informed). "—and those upright sticks you see are thewickets. Harrow's in at one end, and Eton's in at the other, you know!"
A SKETCH AT LORD'S
Eva(for the benefit of Maud, who is not so well-informed). "—and those upright sticks you see are thewickets. Harrow's in at one end, and Eton's in at the other, you know!"
"Nemo me on pony lacessit."
Mad bards, I hear, have gaily trolledThe boundless joys of cricket;Have praised the bowler and the bowledAnd keeper of the wicket.I cannot join their merry song—Non valeo sed volo—But really I can come out strong,Whene'er I sing of Polo!Let golfophiles delight to airTheir putter-niblick learning;And, scarlet-coated, swipe and swearWhen summer sun is burning!Letartful cardssit up and passTheir nights in playing bolo;But let me gambol—o'er the grass—And make my game at Polo!On chequered chess-boards students gazeO'er futile moves oft grieving;With knights content to pass their days,And constant checks receiving.'Mid kings and queens I have no place,Espiscopari nolo—I'd rather o'er the greensward race,And find no check in Polo!Then let me have my supple steed—Good-tempered, uncomplaining—So sure of foot, so rare in speed,In perfect polo training.And let me toast in rare old port,In Heidsieck or Barolo,In shady-gaff or something short—The keen delights of Polo!
Mad bards, I hear, have gaily trolledThe boundless joys of cricket;Have praised the bowler and the bowledAnd keeper of the wicket.I cannot join their merry song—Non valeo sed volo—But really I can come out strong,Whene'er I sing of Polo!
Mad bards, I hear, have gaily trolled
The boundless joys of cricket;
Have praised the bowler and the bowled
And keeper of the wicket.
I cannot join their merry song—
Non valeo sed volo—
But really I can come out strong,
Whene'er I sing of Polo!
Let golfophiles delight to airTheir putter-niblick learning;And, scarlet-coated, swipe and swearWhen summer sun is burning!Letartful cardssit up and passTheir nights in playing bolo;But let me gambol—o'er the grass—And make my game at Polo!
Let golfophiles delight to air
Their putter-niblick learning;
And, scarlet-coated, swipe and swear
When summer sun is burning!
Letartful cardssit up and pass
Their nights in playing bolo;
But let me gambol—o'er the grass—
And make my game at Polo!
On chequered chess-boards students gazeO'er futile moves oft grieving;With knights content to pass their days,And constant checks receiving.'Mid kings and queens I have no place,Espiscopari nolo—I'd rather o'er the greensward race,And find no check in Polo!
On chequered chess-boards students gaze
O'er futile moves oft grieving;
With knights content to pass their days,
And constant checks receiving.
'Mid kings and queens I have no place,
Espiscopari nolo—
I'd rather o'er the greensward race,
And find no check in Polo!
Then let me have my supple steed—Good-tempered, uncomplaining—So sure of foot, so rare in speed,In perfect polo training.And let me toast in rare old port,In Heidsieck or Barolo,In shady-gaff or something short—The keen delights of Polo!
Then let me have my supple steed—
Good-tempered, uncomplaining—
So sure of foot, so rare in speed,
In perfect polo training.
And let me toast in rare old port,
In Heidsieck or Barolo,
In shady-gaff or something short—
The keen delights of Polo!
Motto for Croquet.—"She Stoops to Conquer."
In-Door Amusement for Old People.—The game of croakey.
How to Learn to Love Your Enemies.—Play at croquet.
For the Drawing-Room(When there's a dead silence.)—My first is a bird; my second's a letter of the alphabet: my whole is some game.
Explanation.Crow. K. (Croquet.)
Two women watching cricket.Lucy Mildmay(who is fond of technical terms). "By the way—a—are they playing 'Rugby' or 'Association'?"
Lucy Mildmay(who is fond of technical terms). "By the way—a—are they playing 'Rugby' or 'Association'?"
Portrait of a lady in ball gown.."OUT! FIRST BALL! A CATCH!!"
"OUT! FIRST BALL! A CATCH!!"
A playerwho sprained his wrist at lawn-tennis explained that "he had been trying a regularwrenchaw, and did it effectually."
An Old Croquet-Player Ruminates
I like to see a game reviveLike flower refreshed by rain,And so I say, "May croquet thrive,And may it live again!"It brings back thoughts of long ago,And memories most sweet,When Amy loved her feet to showIn shoes too small, but neat.I think I can see Amy now,Her vengeful arm upraisedTo croquet me to where a cowUnheeding chewed and grazed.And Amy's prowess with the ballReminds me that her styleWas not so taking after allAs Fanny's skillplussmile.Yes! Fanny had a winsome laugh,That round her mouth would wreath,And make me wonder if her chaffWas shaped to show her teeth.They were so pretty, just like pearlsSet fast in carmine case;Still in the match between the girlsSelina won the race.Selina had such lustrous eyesOf real sapphire blue,They seemed one's soul to mesmerise,And looked one through and through.Yet Agnes I cannot forget,She brought me joy with pain.I would that we had never met——"Your stroke!" That voice! My Jane!
I like to see a game reviveLike flower refreshed by rain,And so I say, "May croquet thrive,And may it live again!"It brings back thoughts of long ago,And memories most sweet,When Amy loved her feet to showIn shoes too small, but neat.
I like to see a game revive
Like flower refreshed by rain,
And so I say, "May croquet thrive,
And may it live again!"
It brings back thoughts of long ago,
And memories most sweet,
When Amy loved her feet to show
In shoes too small, but neat.
I think I can see Amy now,Her vengeful arm upraisedTo croquet me to where a cowUnheeding chewed and grazed.And Amy's prowess with the ballReminds me that her styleWas not so taking after allAs Fanny's skillplussmile.
I think I can see Amy now,
Her vengeful arm upraised
To croquet me to where a cow
Unheeding chewed and grazed.
And Amy's prowess with the ball
Reminds me that her style
Was not so taking after all
As Fanny's skillplussmile.
Yes! Fanny had a winsome laugh,That round her mouth would wreath,And make me wonder if her chaffWas shaped to show her teeth.They were so pretty, just like pearlsSet fast in carmine case;Still in the match between the girlsSelina won the race.
Yes! Fanny had a winsome laugh,
That round her mouth would wreath,
And make me wonder if her chaff
Was shaped to show her teeth.
They were so pretty, just like pearls
Set fast in carmine case;
Still in the match between the girls
Selina won the race.
Selina had such lustrous eyesOf real sapphire blue,They seemed one's soul to mesmerise,And looked one through and through.Yet Agnes I cannot forget,She brought me joy with pain.I would that we had never met——"Your stroke!" That voice! My Jane!
Selina had such lustrous eyes
Of real sapphire blue,
They seemed one's soul to mesmerise,
And looked one through and through.
Yet Agnes I cannot forget,
She brought me joy with pain.
I would that we had never met——
"Your stroke!" That voice! My Jane!
Cricket match.Bowler."How's that?"Umpire."Wasn't looking. But if 'e does it again, 'e's out!"
Bowler."How's that?"Umpire."Wasn't looking. But if 'e does it again, 'e's out!"
O feeblest game, how strange if you should riseTo favour,vicetennis superseded!And yet beneath such glowing summer skiesWhen wildest energy is invalided,Mere hitting balls through little hoopsSeems work enough. One merely stoops,And lounges round; no other toil is needed.Upon a breezy lawn beneath the shadeOf rustling trees that hide the sky so sunny,I'll play, no steady game as would be playedBy solemn, earnest folks as though for money—For love is better. Simply stoop,And hit the ball. It's through the hoop!My partner smiles; she seems to think it funny.My pretty partner, whose bright, laughing eyesGaze at me while I aim another blow; lo,I've missed because I looked at her! With sighsI murmur an apologetic solo.The proudest athlete here might stoop,To hit a ball just through a hoop,And say the game—with her—beats golf and polo.
O feeblest game, how strange if you should riseTo favour,vicetennis superseded!And yet beneath such glowing summer skiesWhen wildest energy is invalided,Mere hitting balls through little hoopsSeems work enough. One merely stoops,And lounges round; no other toil is needed.
O feeblest game, how strange if you should rise
To favour,vicetennis superseded!
And yet beneath such glowing summer skies
When wildest energy is invalided,
Mere hitting balls through little hoops
Seems work enough. One merely stoops,
And lounges round; no other toil is needed.
Upon a breezy lawn beneath the shadeOf rustling trees that hide the sky so sunny,I'll play, no steady game as would be playedBy solemn, earnest folks as though for money—For love is better. Simply stoop,And hit the ball. It's through the hoop!My partner smiles; she seems to think it funny.
Upon a breezy lawn beneath the shade
Of rustling trees that hide the sky so sunny,
I'll play, no steady game as would be played
By solemn, earnest folks as though for money—
For love is better. Simply stoop,
And hit the ball. It's through the hoop!
My partner smiles; she seems to think it funny.
My pretty partner, whose bright, laughing eyesGaze at me while I aim another blow; lo,I've missed because I looked at her! With sighsI murmur an apologetic solo.The proudest athlete here might stoop,To hit a ball just through a hoop,And say the game—with her—beats golf and polo.
My pretty partner, whose bright, laughing eyes
Gaze at me while I aim another blow; lo,
I've missed because I looked at her! With sighs
I murmur an apologetic solo.
The proudest athlete here might stoop,
To hit a ball just through a hoop,
And say the game—with her—beats golf and polo.