Cartoon. Two men talking to Brittamia.SALTS AND STOKERSVulcan(Chief Engineer): "Yes, Ma'am, thingsdolook bad, and won't be better till you make a change in your officering! It's been Captain Nep's boys till now—it must bebothour boys in future!!"
SALTS AND STOKERS
Vulcan(Chief Engineer): "Yes, Ma'am, thingsdolook bad, and won't be better till you make a change in your officering! It's been Captain Nep's boys till now—it must bebothour boys in future!!"
"Snapshot" photography is mentioned, but one cannot say honourably mentioned, in 1887, and in 1892 the "detective" camera is spoken of as a fashionable plaything. The introduction of the Parcel Post in 1883 inspires a burlesque correspondence on its abuse by the senders of unsuitable articles, such as red herrings. In 1890 the Jubilee of the Penny Post is celebrated in a ballad in praise of Rowland Hill, always one ofPunch'sheroes, who had carried his point though denounced as a lunatic.
[7]The Maudslays, Joseph and Thomas Henry, were both famous marine engineers; the Rennies, George and Sir John, carried on the business and enhanced the repute of their father, a famous civil engineer and pupil of James Watt. Ford is probably a misprint for Fox (Sir Douglas Fox), the engineer of the Mersey Tunnel. Mr. Fryer, the vocalist of the evening, was a professional singer.
[7]The Maudslays, Joseph and Thomas Henry, were both famous marine engineers; the Rennies, George and Sir John, carried on the business and enhanced the repute of their father, a famous civil engineer and pupil of James Watt. Ford is probably a misprint for Fox (Sir Douglas Fox), the engineer of the Mersey Tunnel. Mr. Fryer, the vocalist of the evening, was a professional singer.
PART II
THE SOCIAL FABRIC
It was in keeping with the "Orientalism" which coloured Disraeli's conception of Empire that his return to power in 1874 should be marked by a strengthening of the ceremonial ties linking the throne with our great Eastern Dependency. In 1875 the Prince of Wales visited India; in 1876 the Queen assumed the title of Empress of India.Punchshowed no lack of good will in speeding the Prince on his journey, while frankly criticizing the incidence of the cost. The grant of money for his expenses was opposed in the House in January, andPunchadmitted that the opposition was not altogether captious:—
Everybody but Mr. Disraeli and Mr. Gladstone seems to think the Government has done the thing shabbily. To be sure, the Government ought to know best.Punch, with Mr. Fawcett, would have preferred that England should have paid every penny of the bill. India has certainlynotinvited the Prince, and is as little in a position to invite him as she is to decline his visit: is certainlynotas well able to afford the expense of entertaining him as Canada was. As to the feeling of the Working-men (Punchis a representative Working-man, and knows), nineteen-twentieths of them—as Mr. Burt, with characteristic straightforwardness admitted—neither think nor care a ha'penny about the matter: the other twentieth, including the blatant gentlemen who get up nasty noisy little mobs in Trafalgar Square, and who claim to speak for the Working-men, because they speak, peculiarly, for themselves, oppose the visit and the grant for it—as they oppose everything suggested by their betters, and, in particular, all grants to members of the Royal Family. They have found just enough voice in Parliament to show how thoroughly they stand opposed to general opinion.
Everybody but Mr. Disraeli and Mr. Gladstone seems to think the Government has done the thing shabbily. To be sure, the Government ought to know best.
Punch, with Mr. Fawcett, would have preferred that England should have paid every penny of the bill. India has certainlynotinvited the Prince, and is as little in a position to invite him as she is to decline his visit: is certainlynotas well able to afford the expense of entertaining him as Canada was. As to the feeling of the Working-men (Punchis a representative Working-man, and knows), nineteen-twentieths of them—as Mr. Burt, with characteristic straightforwardness admitted—neither think nor care a ha'penny about the matter: the other twentieth, including the blatant gentlemen who get up nasty noisy little mobs in Trafalgar Square, and who claim to speak for the Working-men, because they speak, peculiarly, for themselves, oppose the visit and the grant for it—as they oppose everything suggested by their betters, and, in particular, all grants to members of the Royal Family. They have found just enough voice in Parliament to show how thoroughly they stand opposed to general opinion.
The Prince's return was welcomed with a disclaimer of all venal courtiership:—
'Tis no mere flourish of paid pen, no phrase of courtier's tongueProclaims us loyal to our line of law-abiding Kings;'Tis for a son in more than name that England's heart is strungTo this high note of welcome that through the welkin rings.
'Tis no mere flourish of paid pen, no phrase of courtier's tongueProclaims us loyal to our line of law-abiding Kings;'Tis for a son in more than name that England's heart is strungTo this high note of welcome that through the welkin rings.
'Tis no mere flourish of paid pen, no phrase of courtier's tongue
Proclaims us loyal to our line of law-abiding Kings;
'Tis for a son in more than name that England's heart is strung
To this high note of welcome that through the welkin rings.
He is kindly, gay and gracious—he is manly, bold and brave;He bore him manly, princely, as an English prince should do;He took the rubs and roughings of travel like a man,And, if he won new friends in crowds, to the old friends still was true.
He is kindly, gay and gracious—he is manly, bold and brave;He bore him manly, princely, as an English prince should do;He took the rubs and roughings of travel like a man,And, if he won new friends in crowds, to the old friends still was true.
He is kindly, gay and gracious—he is manly, bold and brave;
He bore him manly, princely, as an English prince should do;
He took the rubs and roughings of travel like a man,
And, if he won new friends in crowds, to the old friends still was true.
It was once said of an old Tory that, although generally intelligent, whenever he began to talk of the Royal Family or the nobility, his jaw dropped, and he became quite inarticulate.Punch'sjaw certainly did not drop over the Queen's new title, for which he had no welcome. He thought it a piece of Oriental Disraelian clap-trap, gave a sarcastic account of the Proclamation at Delhi, and published cartoons in which Disraeli figured as repainting the sign of the old Queen's Head, and as a magician with new crowns for old.Punch'santipathy to the new style also found vent in a "Hymn to Victoria" after Ben Jonson:—
Queen or Empress, Lady fair,Sovran of the swelling deep,Who, in distant Orient air,Dost the sway of nations keep,Must we, changing style with scene,Hail an Empress in our Queen?Where the tiger haunts the glade,Where the mystic Ganges flows,Where we English, unafraid,Govern friends who once were foes,There thy power is felt, unseen,There men bow to England's Queen.Lay the imperial style apart;Leave it to the lords of legions:Queen in every English heart,Be thou Queen in Eastern regions.Keep thy style and state serene—Who so great as India's Queen?
Queen or Empress, Lady fair,Sovran of the swelling deep,Who, in distant Orient air,Dost the sway of nations keep,Must we, changing style with scene,Hail an Empress in our Queen?
Queen or Empress, Lady fair,
Sovran of the swelling deep,
Who, in distant Orient air,
Dost the sway of nations keep,
Must we, changing style with scene,
Hail an Empress in our Queen?
Where the tiger haunts the glade,Where the mystic Ganges flows,Where we English, unafraid,Govern friends who once were foes,There thy power is felt, unseen,There men bow to England's Queen.
Where the tiger haunts the glade,
Where the mystic Ganges flows,
Where we English, unafraid,
Govern friends who once were foes,
There thy power is felt, unseen,
There men bow to England's Queen.
Lay the imperial style apart;Leave it to the lords of legions:Queen in every English heart,Be thou Queen in Eastern regions.Keep thy style and state serene—Who so great as India's Queen?
Lay the imperial style apart;
Leave it to the lords of legions:
Queen in every English heart,
Be thou Queen in Eastern regions.
Keep thy style and state serene—
Who so great as India's Queen?
Painter with two headed portrait."THE QUEEN WITH TWO HEADS"Mr. Bull: "No, no, Benjamin, it will never do! You can't improve on the old 'Queen's Head'!"
"THE QUEEN WITH TWO HEADS"
Mr. Bull: "No, no, Benjamin, it will never do! You can't improve on the old 'Queen's Head'!"
Another set of verses printed a month or so later go so far as to call "Emperor" a "name accursed." The old title was good enough forPunch:—
Still "King" or "Queen," from earliest days,To British understandingA sense of rank supreme conveysThat brooks no rash expanding.Symbol august of royal stateWith Freedom's spirit blended;Can title so securely greatBe altered or amended?
Still "King" or "Queen," from earliest days,To British understandingA sense of rank supreme conveysThat brooks no rash expanding.
Still "King" or "Queen," from earliest days,
To British understanding
A sense of rank supreme conveys
That brooks no rash expanding.
Symbol august of royal stateWith Freedom's spirit blended;Can title so securely greatBe altered or amended?
Symbol august of royal state
With Freedom's spirit blended;
Can title so securely great
Be altered or amended?
The Queen's visit to Lord Beaconsfield at Hughenden in December, 1877, is treated in a spirit of genial irony with an undercurrent of distrust in the Premier's flamboyant imagination.Punchwonders what the tree was that the Queen planted: possibly "of some Asian order from a Hebrew root." In the accompanying picture it is labelled, "Conditional Neutrality," and Gladstone is shown looking on, with his axe, as though he would like to cut it down. Opposition to the Royal grants was again vocal in 1878 in connexion with the Duke of Connaught's marriage, when Sir Charles Dilke's motion was defeated by 320 to 33 votes. Dilke's view was that there was no instance of the Crown holding out for a marriage portion—except in the case of marriages in a manner forced to raise Royal issue—before the present reign. The Government and the Opposition, backed by Gladstone, contended that the precedents did not apply.Punchadvocated an overhauling of the existing arrangements as soon as they ran out. In the memorial stanzas on Princess Alice, the Grand Duchess of Hesse Darmstadt,Punchabstains from prophecy, a fortunate abstention in view of the tragic future in store for her daughters; and pays a well merited tribute to a good woman, above reproach whether as daughter, wife, mother and sovereign. He applauds the Duke of Albany for a speech in 1879 warning the British working man not to be outstripped by foreign competitors in industry, intelligence and taste, and welcomes the Prince as following in the steps of his father. The Dukeof Connaught's marriage in the same year is celebrated in verse,Punchdeclaring that he can'tgush, but feels glad; a sentiment tempered by an ironical description of the Royalties and nobilities present at the wedding and of their cheap and homely presents.
Loyalty with Reserves
There is a kindly reference in the same year to the death of the Prince of Abyssinia (son of King Theodore), who was taken prisoner at Magdala in 1868, and buried at Windsor by the Queen's desire. In his Elegy on "poor Rasselas,"Punchspeaks of the "kind Queen's mother heart." Yet the continued seclusion of the "Royal Recluse" does not escape notice, and the Birthday verses to the Princess of Wales show that it proved a strain onPunch'sloyalty:—
'Tis not thatPunch—as leal as wise—Loves less his Queen by closer ties,Though she but rarely glads his eyesFrom Deeside and from Wight."The absent still are in the wrong!"So runs a French saw current long;ButPunch'sloyalty is strong,Be who will wrong or right.
'Tis not thatPunch—as leal as wise—Loves less his Queen by closer ties,Though she but rarely glads his eyesFrom Deeside and from Wight."The absent still are in the wrong!"So runs a French saw current long;ButPunch'sloyalty is strong,Be who will wrong or right.
'Tis not thatPunch—as leal as wise—
Loves less his Queen by closer ties,
Though she but rarely glads his eyes
From Deeside and from Wight.
"The absent still are in the wrong!"
So runs a French saw current long;
ButPunch'sloyalty is strong,
Be who will wrong or right.
The artistic efforts of Royalties are commended in 1881, when Princess Louise and the German Crown Princess exhibited canvases at the Society of Painters in Water Colours.Punch, in his earlier days, had seldom a good word to say for the Royal patronage of the arts, and in the same year he indulged in an audacious description of the depressing conditions under which they were studied in Royal Palaces, and of the boredom resulting from perpetual attendance on the Queen in her self-imposed seclusion:—
FROM A COURT JOURNAL(Not published every Saturday)1st. Back from Balmoral. What a relief! So pleasant to be near something civilized again. Dear L—— called early, and wanted me so much to make a pleasant day of it. It would have been so nice. Private view of some lovely frescoes to begin with. Thena quiet little luncheon together, and, after that, to Lady—— 's delightful place, to have some lawn-tennis, perhaps a little boating, and then finish with a drive back to town in the cool of the evening. Of course, I couldn't be spared. So, rest of diurnal programme as usual. Walked with Mamma. Had luncheon with Mamma. Drove with Mamma. Dined with Mamma. On the whole, rather a monotonous day.2nd to 9th inclusive. Nothing particular. Walked daily with Mamma. Had luncheon daily with Mamma. Drove daily with Mamma. Dined daily with Mamma. So, the fifteen pressing invitations for various things this week had, of course, to be declined. Never mind: I got on with my etchings; but the next book I illustrate shall be called "The New Cinderella." Dear me! if I could only get somebody to write it, couldn't I make a capital picture of the young maid's delight at finding her wretched State-coach changed suddenly into a lovely pumpkin!10th. A very eventful day. Some Indian potentate, with a peculiar turban, was made, by Mamma, an honorary Member of Knights of the Third Class of the Order of St. Michael and St. George. I attended. As usual, it was all over in three minutes. I wonder whether he could have taken a walk with Mamma, stayed to luncheon with Mamma, had a drive with Mamma, and have dined with Mamma, if Mamma had thought of ordering him! But there was no opportunity. The gentleman, too, who brought him, seemed so very anxious to get him back to Claridge's Hotel as quickly as possible. Perhaps he feared the honour might be too much for the Asiatic mind.N'importe!Ah! happy Indian potentate, breathing the free air of Claridge's Hotel!11th to 18th. More walking with Mamma, taking luncheon with Mamma, driving with Mamma, and dining with Mamma. Some Germans to dinner once or twice. I shall learn Chinese. And that reminds me. I wonder whether Aladdin's Princess, with her tiny little feet, managed, after all, to get better about Pekin than I can about London.19th. Osborne. Dear A—— came with the children and pressed for me to be allowed to join them on the yacht, and see the regatta, and have a real sail, and spend a quite too lovely day! No use; so she went back, and I took a walk as usual with Mamma, had luncheon as usual with Mamma, and dined as usual with Mamma. Everything very much as usual. Stay, though; I am forgetting. I must add a two hours' steam up and down on theAlberta, a mile and a half away from everything, which theCourt Journalwill no doubt describe as "witnessing the regatta" with Mamma!20th to 27th. The usual Osborne routine. Of course, I am perfectly happy doing nothing else but walking, taking luncheon, driving and dining continually with Mamma; though I should liketo be able to get away a little now and then. In one of our drives round the island we passed several groups of happy girls enjoying themselves, in the society of their relatives and friends, in various healthful and innocent ways (with the permission of their Mammas). Yes, I must take in hand "The New Cinderella"!28th and 29th. Off again to Balmoral, without waiting for the State ball on the 30th. Journey full of novelty.30th. Once more in the bonnie Highlands! Attend the Servants' Ball, and wonder why, while they may enjoy a dance, I mayn't. Wonder how the State Ball is going on. Go to rest wondering, and finally dream that I am walking, taking luncheon, driving, dining and making immense progress in Chinese, simultaneously, with Mamma till further notice!
FROM A COURT JOURNAL
(Not published every Saturday)
1st. Back from Balmoral. What a relief! So pleasant to be near something civilized again. Dear L—— called early, and wanted me so much to make a pleasant day of it. It would have been so nice. Private view of some lovely frescoes to begin with. Thena quiet little luncheon together, and, after that, to Lady—— 's delightful place, to have some lawn-tennis, perhaps a little boating, and then finish with a drive back to town in the cool of the evening. Of course, I couldn't be spared. So, rest of diurnal programme as usual. Walked with Mamma. Had luncheon with Mamma. Drove with Mamma. Dined with Mamma. On the whole, rather a monotonous day.
2nd to 9th inclusive. Nothing particular. Walked daily with Mamma. Had luncheon daily with Mamma. Drove daily with Mamma. Dined daily with Mamma. So, the fifteen pressing invitations for various things this week had, of course, to be declined. Never mind: I got on with my etchings; but the next book I illustrate shall be called "The New Cinderella." Dear me! if I could only get somebody to write it, couldn't I make a capital picture of the young maid's delight at finding her wretched State-coach changed suddenly into a lovely pumpkin!
10th. A very eventful day. Some Indian potentate, with a peculiar turban, was made, by Mamma, an honorary Member of Knights of the Third Class of the Order of St. Michael and St. George. I attended. As usual, it was all over in three minutes. I wonder whether he could have taken a walk with Mamma, stayed to luncheon with Mamma, had a drive with Mamma, and have dined with Mamma, if Mamma had thought of ordering him! But there was no opportunity. The gentleman, too, who brought him, seemed so very anxious to get him back to Claridge's Hotel as quickly as possible. Perhaps he feared the honour might be too much for the Asiatic mind.N'importe!Ah! happy Indian potentate, breathing the free air of Claridge's Hotel!
11th to 18th. More walking with Mamma, taking luncheon with Mamma, driving with Mamma, and dining with Mamma. Some Germans to dinner once or twice. I shall learn Chinese. And that reminds me. I wonder whether Aladdin's Princess, with her tiny little feet, managed, after all, to get better about Pekin than I can about London.
19th. Osborne. Dear A—— came with the children and pressed for me to be allowed to join them on the yacht, and see the regatta, and have a real sail, and spend a quite too lovely day! No use; so she went back, and I took a walk as usual with Mamma, had luncheon as usual with Mamma, and dined as usual with Mamma. Everything very much as usual. Stay, though; I am forgetting. I must add a two hours' steam up and down on theAlberta, a mile and a half away from everything, which theCourt Journalwill no doubt describe as "witnessing the regatta" with Mamma!
20th to 27th. The usual Osborne routine. Of course, I am perfectly happy doing nothing else but walking, taking luncheon, driving and dining continually with Mamma; though I should liketo be able to get away a little now and then. In one of our drives round the island we passed several groups of happy girls enjoying themselves, in the society of their relatives and friends, in various healthful and innocent ways (with the permission of their Mammas). Yes, I must take in hand "The New Cinderella"!
28th and 29th. Off again to Balmoral, without waiting for the State ball on the 30th. Journey full of novelty.
30th. Once more in the bonnie Highlands! Attend the Servants' Ball, and wonder why, while they may enjoy a dance, I mayn't. Wonder how the State Ball is going on. Go to rest wondering, and finally dream that I am walking, taking luncheon, driving, dining and making immense progress in Chinese, simultaneously, with Mamma till further notice!
The Empress of Austria's Visits
In this context it should be noted thatPrincess Beatrice's Birthday Book, illustrated by Walter Crane, Caldecott and Kate Greenaway, is commended byPunchat the close of the year.
The Kaiser's marriage forms the theme of some jocular and negligible lines: too little then was known of his character and temperament to expect any illuminating comment on the event. But a good deal of space is devoted to the Empress of Austria's hunting visits to Ireland and England—a vivid contrast to the dreary experiences chronicled in theCourt Journalquoted above. Hunting in Meath had been boycotted in the winter of 1881, and the Empress returned to her quarters at Combermere Abbey in Cheshire.Punchappeals to the Irish to wipe out the stain and revert to the chivalry of the Irish Brigade, while he welcomed the Empress to England.
In the following year the attempt on the Queen's life by a lunatic, and the intervention of the Eton boy who punched the lunatic's head, are duly chronicled. In one of the worst of his ceremonial cartoonsPunchis seen on bended knee presenting a letter of congratulation from her loving People to the Queen and Princess Beatrice. Even the great Tenniel could not always give dignified expression to a genuine and general sentiment. No criticism, however, can be offered onPunch'sapproval of the Queen's courage in appearing in public, shortly after this incident, to open Epping Forest. The verses on the marriage of the Duke of Albany in 1882 alluded to him as"the latest, youngest, not least wise" of Royal Princes, and the worthy inheritor of the Prince Consort's studious tastes. The accompanying cartoon shows the Duke with the Duchess behind him on a pillion, riding to Claremont. In the autumn of the same year his delicate health aroused public uneasiness, andPunchcontrasts the formidable technical account of his symptoms in theLancetwith the reassuring statements of theMorning Post.
On the relations of Royalty to sport,Punchhad always been extremely sensitive. The bitterest things he ever said of the Prince Consort were directed against his stag-shooting exploits and pheasant battues in the 'forties. Much in the same spirit is the vehement protest which he uttered early in 1878 against the cruelty to an eagle which was trapped at Windsor after Prince Christian and several keepers had vainly tried to shoot it. The wretched eagle, according toThe Times, tore itself out of the trap, leaving one of its toes behind, andPunchis indignantly sarcastic at this treatment of the royal bird. He was mildly satirical in 1876 when the Balmoral Curling Club was broken up owing to the tendency of the game "to encourage a love for whisky." On the other hand, and unlike other critics, he was always ready to acknowledge when Royalties acted on the maximnoblesse oblige. The Princess of Wales's efforts to get pigeon shooting abolished at Hurlingham in 1883 prompted the picture of the Triumph of Sir Pigeon in the Lists with the Princess as Queen of Beauty in the Tournament of Doves. UnluckilyPunch'sjubilation was premature. Mr. Anderson's Bill, supported by W. E. Forster, and opposed by Sir Walter Barttelot, was "turned down" by the House, to the disgust ofPunch, who asked why could not the Home Secretary, Sir William Harcourt, follow the example of Holland and forbid pigeon shooting. Still, two minor victories are scored to the credit of the Princess of Wales this year. "She has banished the crinolette, in spite of Paris. She has retained the small bonnet, still in spite of Paris," andPunchchronicles the triumph in pleasantly whimsical rhymes.
John Brown
The critic re-emerges in a long and sarcastic account of the public sale by auction of portraits and furniture—down tokitchen chairs—belonging to the Duke and Duchess of Teck, whichPunchconsidered as undignified and improper, though he found the catalogue a feeding-ground for laughter and a stimulant to satire. In the same year the Queen's trusted attendant, John Brown, died. It is hard for the present generation to realize the mixed feelings which the Queen's reliance on this royal factotum excited in the minds of the public at a time when the popularity of the Court was impaired by her long seclusion. His very name is now forgotten, though in the 'seventies and early 'eighties it was on every lip—often as an incentive to slighting or indecorous comment.Punch'stribute is somewhat ponderous in style, but he makes a good point in distinguishing this faithful if somewhat angular Scotsman from the minions and freaks of other Courts:—
Service of Kings not always in earth's storyHas been a badge of honour: gilded gloryOf silken favourite dulls down to dust;Devotion self-respecting, sober, just,Lifts lowliest tendance to ennobling state.A good Queen's faithful follower! His the fateTo wear the honours of the antique school,Right Service, nobler than unrighteous rule.
Service of Kings not always in earth's storyHas been a badge of honour: gilded gloryOf silken favourite dulls down to dust;Devotion self-respecting, sober, just,Lifts lowliest tendance to ennobling state.A good Queen's faithful follower! His the fateTo wear the honours of the antique school,Right Service, nobler than unrighteous rule.
Service of Kings not always in earth's story
Has been a badge of honour: gilded glory
Of silken favourite dulls down to dust;
Devotion self-respecting, sober, just,
Lifts lowliest tendance to ennobling state.
A good Queen's faithful follower! His the fate
To wear the honours of the antique school,
Right Service, nobler than unrighteous rule.
Punch'salternations of loyalty and exceedingly frank criticism of Royalty during this period are, it must be admitted, abrupt and even bewildering. In the following extracts fromThe Speaker; a Handbook to ready-made Oratory, we find him in his most unbridled and unmuzzled mood:—
PART I.—LOYAL TOASTS.Duke of Edinburgh.—Sailor. Plays the fiddle like an angel. Married to rich Russian Princess. Friend of Sir Arthur Sullivan.Duke of Connaught.—First-class Soldier, covered with Egyptian Medals.... His Royal Highness may be called "the heroic and beloved son of our revered Sovereign"—by a provincial Mayor. Name may be introduced in connexion with Ireland, the Franco-German War, Foreign Stocks—"Prefs." and "Unified"—the late Duke of Wellington, and "the Patrol Camp Equipage Hold-all."Duke of Albany.—Scientific. Called after the King of the Belgians. Was at Oxford. Connected more or less with SouthKensington, Upton Park Road, Bedford Park, the Kyrle Society, and Cremona violins. Is walking in the steps of the late greatly lamented Prince Consort.Prince Teck.—Served with distinction as a letter-carrier on the field of Tel-el-Kebir, sold furniture of Kensington Palace by auction, and retired abroad. Name of no great value to anyone.
PART I.—LOYAL TOASTS.
Duke of Edinburgh.—Sailor. Plays the fiddle like an angel. Married to rich Russian Princess. Friend of Sir Arthur Sullivan.
Duke of Connaught.—First-class Soldier, covered with Egyptian Medals.... His Royal Highness may be called "the heroic and beloved son of our revered Sovereign"—by a provincial Mayor. Name may be introduced in connexion with Ireland, the Franco-German War, Foreign Stocks—"Prefs." and "Unified"—the late Duke of Wellington, and "the Patrol Camp Equipage Hold-all."
Duke of Albany.—Scientific. Called after the King of the Belgians. Was at Oxford. Connected more or less with SouthKensington, Upton Park Road, Bedford Park, the Kyrle Society, and Cremona violins. Is walking in the steps of the late greatly lamented Prince Consort.
Prince Teck.—Served with distinction as a letter-carrier on the field of Tel-el-Kebir, sold furniture of Kensington Palace by auction, and retired abroad. Name of no great value to anyone.
HerePunch, consciously or unconsciously, was satirizing himself in his ceremonial moods. He was on much safer ground in the excellent pictorial burlesque of the life of the Duke of Clarence at Cambridge, based on a series of illustrations in a serious picture-paper in which, amongst other incidents, the Prince had been depicted as "coxing" a racing boat from the bow! This was fair game. There is a spice of malice in the prospectus of an hotel which would supply "a long felt want" by catering at cheap prices for Royal visitors, foreign Princes and potentates, who could not be suitably accommodated in Buckingham Palace. The publication in February, 1884, of a further instalment of "Leaves from her Journal in the Highlands" is claimed as the Queen's Valentine toMr. Punch. When the Duke of Albany died in March,Punchdid not err on the side of underestimating the promise and achievement of that estimable Prince, but there is an uncanny resemblance between his graceful elegiac stanzas and the points outlined in the handbook of loyal toasts noted above. For a few months the irresponsible satirist is silent; but he explodes again towards the close of the year over the rumour that the Crown of Brunswick had been offered to the Duke of Cambridge, and that he absolutely refused to resign the command of the British Army. As the rumour was groundless, there was no excuse forPunch'smalicious imaginary dialogue between the Duke and the foreign officer who had come to make him the offer. In representing the Duke as being discovered writing an article for theSunday Timeson "Dress,"Punchwas only reverting to the old familiar gibe at the passionate preoccupation of the Royal Family with tailoring.
A Pacific Prince
Man and woman talking.CHARITY THAT BEGINNETH NOT WHERE IT SHOULD"And what's all this I hear, Barbara, about your wanting to find some Occupation?""Well, you see, it's so dull at Home, Uncle. I've no Brothers or Sisters—and Papa's paralysed—and Mamma's going blind—so I want to be a Hospital Nurse."
CHARITY THAT BEGINNETH NOT WHERE IT SHOULD
"And what's all this I hear, Barbara, about your wanting to find some Occupation?"
"Well, you see, it's so dull at Home, Uncle. I've no Brothers or Sisters—and Papa's paralysed—and Mamma's going blind—so I want to be a Hospital Nurse."
The alternations of candour and cordiality continue in the following year. The Duke of Clarence is heartily congratulatedon attaining his majority; and the visit of the Prince and Princess of Wales to Ireland is chronicled in cartoons in which the Prince figures as a stage Irishman, and Erin is seen reproving a sullen little rebel. The Prince of Wales's visit to Berlin in the same year (1885) is hailed as an omen of more pacific relations—the Prince figuring as a Dove, the old Emperor as a friendly Eagle. This was the year in which Princess Beatrice, the youngest of the Queen's daughters, was married to Prince Henry of Battenberg.Punchmakes a remarkably frank allusion to the discussions in the House over her marriage portion in May. The passage is interesting not merely for the matterbut for the new manner of the "Essence of Parliament," widely different from that of Shirley Brooks:—
Thursday.Gladstone moved Resolution allotting Wedding Dowry of six thousand a year to Princess Beatrice. On the whole rather a depressing business. More like a funeral than the preliminary to a wedding party. House listened in politely glum silence. Gladstone seemed to feel this, and laboured along making most of argument that this was the last. Also (being the last) promised Committee for next year to go into whole matter. Labby opposed vote, and O'Brien testified afresh to his disappointment at failure of efforts made to spoil success of Prince of Wales' visit to Ireland. W. Redmond gave the proposal a great fillip by opposing it, and House divided: 337 for making the little present; 38, chiefly Parnellites, against.
Thursday.Gladstone moved Resolution allotting Wedding Dowry of six thousand a year to Princess Beatrice. On the whole rather a depressing business. More like a funeral than the preliminary to a wedding party. House listened in politely glum silence. Gladstone seemed to feel this, and laboured along making most of argument that this was the last. Also (being the last) promised Committee for next year to go into whole matter. Labby opposed vote, and O'Brien testified afresh to his disappointment at failure of efforts made to spoil success of Prince of Wales' visit to Ireland. W. Redmond gave the proposal a great fillip by opposing it, and House divided: 337 for making the little present; 38, chiefly Parnellites, against.
By way of set-off,Punchdescanted melodiously on the "Royal Ring-Doves," alluding to Princess Beatrice as
England's home-staying daughter, bride, yet boundAs with silk ties, within the dear home-roundBy many a gentle reason.
England's home-staying daughter, bride, yet boundAs with silk ties, within the dear home-roundBy many a gentle reason.
England's home-staying daughter, bride, yet bound
As with silk ties, within the dear home-round
By many a gentle reason.
Here one cannot forget that terribleCourt Journalof four years back, or acquitPunchof irony in the light of the fact (recorded in theAnnual Register) that the Queen only gave her consent to the marriage on condition of Princess Beatrice's living in England. The discomforts and stinginess of the Court are satirized in an acid extract from the "Letter of a Lady-in-Waiting" in January, 1886, and there is a good deal of veiled sarcasm in the long account of the opening of the Colonial and Indian Exhibition in the summer. The whole ceremony is made to appear tedious, badly rehearsed and trivial, and the Queen is described as speaking with a "slightly foreign accent." Cordiality revives, however, in the verses "Astræa Redux," on the Queen's "happy restoration to public life,"à proposof her visit to Liverpool; and in the reference to her patronage of the Carl Rosa Opera Company at the Lyceum.
Punch's Jubilee Ode
With the year of the Queen's Golden JubileePunch'schivalrous devotion to the person of the sovereign, which hadnever failed even in his most democratic days, reawakened in full force. In his Jubilee ode he emphasizes throughout the peaceful aim of the celebration:—
Not with the ruthless Roman's proud paradeOf flaunting ensigns and of fettered foes,Nor radiantly arrayedIn pomp of purple, such as fitly flowsFrom the stern Conqueror's shoulders, comes our QueenWhilst England's ways with June's glad garniture are green.Not with the scent of battle, or the taintOf cruel carnage round about her car,Making the sick air faintWith the dread breath of devastating war,Rolls on our Royal Lady, whilst the shoutOf a free people's love compasses her about.The pageantry that every step attendsIs not the martial pomp that tyrants love,No purchased shout of slaves the shamed air rends;Peace's white-pinion'd doveMight perch upon those banners unafraid,The shackled forces here are thralls of Art and Trade.
Not with the ruthless Roman's proud paradeOf flaunting ensigns and of fettered foes,Nor radiantly arrayedIn pomp of purple, such as fitly flowsFrom the stern Conqueror's shoulders, comes our QueenWhilst England's ways with June's glad garniture are green.
Not with the ruthless Roman's proud parade
Of flaunting ensigns and of fettered foes,
Nor radiantly arrayed
In pomp of purple, such as fitly flows
From the stern Conqueror's shoulders, comes our Queen
Whilst England's ways with June's glad garniture are green.
Not with the scent of battle, or the taintOf cruel carnage round about her car,Making the sick air faintWith the dread breath of devastating war,Rolls on our Royal Lady, whilst the shoutOf a free people's love compasses her about.
Not with the scent of battle, or the taint
Of cruel carnage round about her car,
Making the sick air faint
With the dread breath of devastating war,
Rolls on our Royal Lady, whilst the shout
Of a free people's love compasses her about.
The pageantry that every step attendsIs not the martial pomp that tyrants love,No purchased shout of slaves the shamed air rends;Peace's white-pinion'd doveMight perch upon those banners unafraid,The shackled forces here are thralls of Art and Trade.
The pageantry that every step attends
Is not the martial pomp that tyrants love,
No purchased shout of slaves the shamed air rends;
Peace's white-pinion'd dove
Might perch upon those banners unafraid,
The shackled forces here are thralls of Art and Trade.
Triumph! Shall we not triumph who have seenThose fifty years round on from sun to snow,From snow to sun, since when, a girlish QueenIn that far June-tide's glow,Your brow first felt that golden weight well-worn,Which tried the Woman's heart, but hath not over-borne?Fifty fair years which, like to all things fair,Are flecked with shadow, yet whereon the sunHath never set in shame or in despair,Their changeful course have run.And we who saw the dawn now flock to seeJune's noonday light illume Victoria's Jubilee.Just, pure, and gentle, yet of steadfast willWhen high occasion calls and honour pricks!With such a soul our Commonwealth should thrill,That, that alone shall fixOur rule in rock-like safety, and maintainFree way for England's flag o'er the wind-winnowed main.AndPunch, whose memory scans those fifty years,Whose patriot forecast broods o'er coming-days,Smiles with the smiling throngs, and lifts his cheers,With those the people raise,And prays that firmer faith, spirit more free,May date from this proud day of jocund Jubilee.
Triumph! Shall we not triumph who have seenThose fifty years round on from sun to snow,From snow to sun, since when, a girlish QueenIn that far June-tide's glow,Your brow first felt that golden weight well-worn,Which tried the Woman's heart, but hath not over-borne?
Triumph! Shall we not triumph who have seen
Those fifty years round on from sun to snow,
From snow to sun, since when, a girlish Queen
In that far June-tide's glow,
Your brow first felt that golden weight well-worn,
Which tried the Woman's heart, but hath not over-borne?
Fifty fair years which, like to all things fair,Are flecked with shadow, yet whereon the sunHath never set in shame or in despair,Their changeful course have run.And we who saw the dawn now flock to seeJune's noonday light illume Victoria's Jubilee.
Fifty fair years which, like to all things fair,
Are flecked with shadow, yet whereon the sun
Hath never set in shame or in despair,
Their changeful course have run.
And we who saw the dawn now flock to see
June's noonday light illume Victoria's Jubilee.
Just, pure, and gentle, yet of steadfast willWhen high occasion calls and honour pricks!With such a soul our Commonwealth should thrill,That, that alone shall fixOur rule in rock-like safety, and maintainFree way for England's flag o'er the wind-winnowed main.
Just, pure, and gentle, yet of steadfast will
When high occasion calls and honour pricks!
With such a soul our Commonwealth should thrill,
That, that alone shall fix
Our rule in rock-like safety, and maintain
Free way for England's flag o'er the wind-winnowed main.
AndPunch, whose memory scans those fifty years,Whose patriot forecast broods o'er coming-days,Smiles with the smiling throngs, and lifts his cheers,With those the people raise,And prays that firmer faith, spirit more free,May date from this proud day of jocund Jubilee.
AndPunch, whose memory scans those fifty years,
Whose patriot forecast broods o'er coming-days,
Smiles with the smiling throngs, and lifts his cheers,
With those the people raise,
And prays that firmer faith, spirit more free,
May date from this proud day of jocund Jubilee.
The June and July numbers are dominated by the Jubilee, andPunch, though he spoke with many voices in dealing with the various phases of the festival, kept his criticism within limits of wholly genial satire and whimsicality. There was a scene of decorous "revelry by night" at the Reform Club, which gave a ball on June 16, recorded in a set of verses with solos for Sir William Harcourt, John Bright and Lord Rosebery, packed with political innuendoes, and winding up with a soliloquy from the grand old M.C. (without) who sings:—
Call this a Ball? More muddled every minute;Not one good dancer there. Glad I'm not in it!
Call this a Ball? More muddled every minute;Not one good dancer there. Glad I'm not in it!
Call this a Ball? More muddled every minute;
Not one good dancer there. Glad I'm not in it!
The Lord Chamberlain, in Sambourne's picture, figures as the "boots" of an hotel, run off his legs by the demands of Princes, Potentates, Ambassadors:—
'Midst pleasures and 'midst palaces to roam,Is nice for foreign dignities, no doubt;But then they've lots of palaces at home,Which we are quite without.
'Midst pleasures and 'midst palaces to roam,Is nice for foreign dignities, no doubt;But then they've lots of palaces at home,Which we are quite without.
'Midst pleasures and 'midst palaces to roam,
Is nice for foreign dignities, no doubt;
But then they've lots of palaces at home,
Which we are quite without.
"Robert, the City Waiter," descants on the festivities; the Editor was prodigal of puns; there were Jubilee mock advertisements; and a certain amount of criticism of the arrangements, though, as I note elsewhere,Punchpays a special tribute to the police for their efficiency, courtesy, patience and humanity. A protest is entered against the route of procession being exclusively West End, andPunchsuggests an extension to take in some of the poorer parts of London. The procession itself is described in a long article entitled "The Longest Day," noting various incidents, such as the unhorsing of the Marquis of Lorne, and summing up in the words: "For impressive splendour and simple dignity, the RoyalProcession couldn't be beaten. But as a Pageant there was much to be desired." The closed carriages were a mistake; the military bands were not fully used, and musically the procession was "the dullest of its sort ever witnessed in any big city on any big occasion." Still the police were A1, and Messrs. Brock gave the public a "Brocken night" at the Crystal Palace, where the rhododendrons were in their glory. The scene in the Abbey was "Abbey and glorious." ButPunch, after an explosion of punning, becomes serious as he describes the scene when the Queen took her seat on the Throne, and the moving sequel when she discarded precedent and showed her womanliness by embracing her children. Nor doesPunchomit to mention the masque, performed by the Benchers of Gray's Inn, originally produced by Sir Francis Bacon in 1613; the Naval Review with the curious incident of Lord Charles Beresford's resignation in consequence of a breach of etiquette on his part in using public signals to send a private message to his wife; and the Queen's visit to Hatfield when the "lordly Cecil" entertained his sovereign as his ancestor had done in 1573.
Cartoon, Queen surrounded by colonial representatives"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"
"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"
Punch, as I have often been at pains to insist, was a Londoner, but he did not hesitate to pronounce the Manchester Exhibition as the "gem of the Jubilee," a "perfect article" and "a superb model." It was better than any of the shows at South Kensington, andPunchrightly singles out as its special glory the magnificent Picture Gallery of Modern English Painters. On the other hand, provincial ideas of suitable Jubilee memorials come in for a good deal of ridicule. The list, which includes a central pig-market, a new town pump, a cemetery, a new sewage scheme, gasworks, etc., is clearly farcical, but an actual instance is quoted from theWestern Daily Mailof the decision of a village in Cardiganshire to celebrate Her Majesty's Jubilee by providing a public hearse. "The chairman, who originated the proposal, was congratulated upon his happy idea, and an Executive Committee was formed to carry it out," which promptedPunchto suggest that they ought to get Mr. Hayden Coffin to sing their Jubilee ode.Punch'sown serious suggestion for a Jubilee memorial was therevival and extension of Queen Anne's Bounty to improve the lot of the poor clergy, in place of the Church House Scheme.
How to Conciliate Ireland
The visit of Prince Albert Victor (the Duke of Clarence) and Prince George (the present King) to Ireland in the summer of 1887 is taken as the text of one ofPunch'speriodical appeals to the Queen to conciliate Ireland by going there herself, Hibernia being credited with a desire for her presence:—
Ah, then, if your Majesty's self we could seeSure we'd drop every grumble and quarrel;Stay a month in the year with my children and me,'Twould be a nice change from Balmoral.
Ah, then, if your Majesty's self we could seeSure we'd drop every grumble and quarrel;Stay a month in the year with my children and me,'Twould be a nice change from Balmoral.
Ah, then, if your Majesty's self we could see
Sure we'd drop every grumble and quarrel;
Stay a month in the year with my children and me,
'Twould be a nice change from Balmoral.
The Prince of Wales's silver wedding fell in 1888, and furnishedPunchwith a theme for loyal verse. It was also the momentous year in which three Emperors reigned in Germany, but of the significance of the change from Wilhelm I to Wilhelm II I have spoken elsewhere.Punch'sJubilee fervour had now died down, and Prince Henry of Battenberg's appointment as Governor of the Isle of Wight is recorded in a semi-burlesque picture of the Prince "with new scenery and costumes," and the comment: "Old England is safe at last."
On May 21 Prince Leopold of Battenberg (now Lord Mountbatten) had been born at Windsor: on the following day a meeting was held under the chairmanship of Lord Waterford to discuss the advisability of abolishing the office of Viceroy of Ireland. Accordingly,Punch, more in malice than seriousness, suggests as a solution of the Irish difficulty that a Battenberg Prince should be born in Ireland, and brought up as the future Viceroy, in imitation of the trick of Edward Longshanks as related by Drayton in his "Polyolbion":—
Through every part of Wales he to the Nobles sentThat they unto his Court should come incontinentOf things that much concern'd the county to debate;But now behold the power of unavoided fate!When thus unto his will he fitly had them won,At her expected hour the Queen brought forth a son—Young Edward, born in Wales, and of Carnarvon called,Thus by the English craft the Britons were enthralled.
Through every part of Wales he to the Nobles sentThat they unto his Court should come incontinentOf things that much concern'd the county to debate;But now behold the power of unavoided fate!When thus unto his will he fitly had them won,At her expected hour the Queen brought forth a son—Young Edward, born in Wales, and of Carnarvon called,Thus by the English craft the Britons were enthralled.
Through every part of Wales he to the Nobles sent
That they unto his Court should come incontinent
Of things that much concern'd the county to debate;
But now behold the power of unavoided fate!
When thus unto his will he fitly had them won,
At her expected hour the Queen brought forth a son—
Young Edward, born in Wales, and of Carnarvon called,
Thus by the English craft the Britons were enthralled.
Punchtreats the parallel from Paddy's point of view, and winds up:—
Sly Longshanks long ago with Cambria played a game—What if, say, Battenberg should contemplate the same?Pat, give him a fair chance, will prove himself—right loyal;But—ye can't heal ould wounds with mere soft soap—though Royal.
Sly Longshanks long ago with Cambria played a game—What if, say, Battenberg should contemplate the same?Pat, give him a fair chance, will prove himself—right loyal;But—ye can't heal ould wounds with mere soft soap—though Royal.
Sly Longshanks long ago with Cambria played a game—
What if, say, Battenberg should contemplate the same?
Pat, give him a fair chance, will prove himself—right loyal;
But—ye can't heal ould wounds with mere soft soap—though Royal.
The last line is, we fear, a much truer reading of the problem than the sentiments ascribed to Hibernia on a previous page.
The betrothal of the Princess Louise to the Earl, afterwards Duke, of Fife, in the summer of 1889, impelledPunchto rewrite Burns's "The Wooing o't" for the occasion. The messages to the House from the Crown, asking that provision should be made for Prince Albert Victor and Princess Louise, led to a prolonged debate, and the question of Royal Grants was referred to a Committee of all sections of the House, on the basis that "Parliament ought not to recognize in an indefinite way the duty of providing for the Royal Family in the third generation." The Queen did not formally waive her claim, but made it clear that she would not press it in the case of any other of her grandchildren. Mr. Labouchere, Mr. Bradlaugh and Mr. Storey opposed the Majority Report of the Committee in spite of a strong speech made by Gladstone in favour of the grants, which were ultimately carried by large majorities.Punchapproved of the Committee, on the ground that it was high time we knew exactly how far the system was to be carried, and ascribed similar sentiments to the average working man in his new version of a popular song of the day. The Majority Report was embodied in the Prince of Wales's Children Bill, which became law on August 9, in spite of the opposition of those, including Mr. Morley and Sir William Harcourt, who maintained that the grant was proposed in such a way as to leave room for further claims and to bind future Parliaments.
Two Views of the Kaiser
The young Kaiser and his wife visited England in 1891, andPunch'sgreeting came near to being fulsome. In JulyPunch, the Kaiser and the Prince of Wales are associated in the cartoon, "A Triple Alliance," the accompanying legend containing the following high tribute to the Imperial guest:—
The Prince of Wales doth join with all the worldIn praise of—Kaiser Wilhelm; by my hopesI do not think a braver gentlemanMore active-valiant, or more valiant young,More daring, or more bold, is now aliveTo grace this latter age with noble deeds.
The Prince of Wales doth join with all the worldIn praise of—Kaiser Wilhelm; by my hopesI do not think a braver gentlemanMore active-valiant, or more valiant young,More daring, or more bold, is now aliveTo grace this latter age with noble deeds.
The Prince of Wales doth join with all the world
In praise of—Kaiser Wilhelm; by my hopes
I do not think a braver gentleman
More active-valiant, or more valiant young,
More daring, or more bold, is now alive
To grace this latter age with noble deeds.
Yet at the close of the year the feverish versatility of the young ruler is treated with the utmost disrespect:—
The German Emperor has lately rearranged his scheme of work for weekdays. From sixa.m.to eighta.m.he gives lectures on Strategy and Tactics to generals over forty years old. From eight to ten he instructs the chief actors, musicians and painters of Berlin in the principles of their respective arts. The hours from ten to twelve he devotes to the compilation of his Memoirs in fifty-four volumes. A limited edition of large-paper copies is to be issued. From twelve to fourp.m.he reviews regiments, cashiers colonels, captures fortresses, carries his own dispatches to himself, and makes speeches of varying length to all who will listen to him. Any professional reporter found taking accurate notes of His Majesty's words is immediately blown from a Krupp gun with the new smokeless powder. From four to eight he tries on uniforms, dismisses Ministers and officials, dictates state-papers to General Caprivi, and composes his history of "How I pricked the Bismarck Bubble." From eight to elevenp.m.His Majesty teaches schoolmasters how to teach, wives how to attend to their families, bankers how to carry on their business, and cooks how to prepare dinners. The rest of the day he devotes to himself. On Thursday next His Majesty leaves Berlin on his tenth visit to the European Courts.
The German Emperor has lately rearranged his scheme of work for weekdays. From sixa.m.to eighta.m.he gives lectures on Strategy and Tactics to generals over forty years old. From eight to ten he instructs the chief actors, musicians and painters of Berlin in the principles of their respective arts. The hours from ten to twelve he devotes to the compilation of his Memoirs in fifty-four volumes. A limited edition of large-paper copies is to be issued. From twelve to fourp.m.he reviews regiments, cashiers colonels, captures fortresses, carries his own dispatches to himself, and makes speeches of varying length to all who will listen to him. Any professional reporter found taking accurate notes of His Majesty's words is immediately blown from a Krupp gun with the new smokeless powder. From four to eight he tries on uniforms, dismisses Ministers and officials, dictates state-papers to General Caprivi, and composes his history of "How I pricked the Bismarck Bubble." From eight to elevenp.m.His Majesty teaches schoolmasters how to teach, wives how to attend to their families, bankers how to carry on their business, and cooks how to prepare dinners. The rest of the day he devotes to himself. On Thursday next His Majesty leaves Berlin on his tenth visit to the European Courts.
Another royal visitor in 1891 was Prince Victor Emmanuel of Italy—the present King—to whomPunch, in the character of Niccolo Puncio Machiavelli, proffers worldly advice, advising him to be liberal of snuff-boxes.
The Prince of Wales, born in the same year asPunch, completed his fiftieth year in November.Punch'sJubilee greeting is friendly without being effusive. Reviewing the Prince's career from childish days,Punchrecalls the pictureof him in sailor kit as a child; the nation's "Suspense" at the time of the dangerous illness in December, 1871.Punchhad watched him all along, abroad and at home, "where'er you've travelled, toiled, skylarked"; and recognizes him at fifty as "every inch a Prince," and worthy of cordial greeting; adding a graceful compliment to Alexandra, "the unfading flower from Denmark, o'er the foam."
The betrothal of the Duke of Clarence to Princess Mary of Teck had been hailed with loyal enthusiasm, and his premature death in January, 1892, was recorded with genuine feeling and sympathy. In neither cartoon, however, was Tenniel at his best, and the memorial verses, though graceful and kindly, do not lend themselves to quotation, the reference to the "rending of Hymen's rosy band" betraying a pardonable inability to predict the sequel.
Man greeted by four servants.THE HEIGHT OF MAGNIFICENCESir Gorgius Midas: "Hullo! Where's all the rest of yer gone to?"Head Footman: "If you please, Sir Gorgius, as it was past two o'clock, and we didn't know for certain whether you was coming back here, or going to sleep in the City, the hother footmen thought they might go to bed——"Sir Gorgius: "'Thought they might go to bed,' did they? A pretty state of things, indeed! So that if I'd 'a 'appened to brought 'ome a friend, there'd 'a only been you four to let us hin, hay!"
THE HEIGHT OF MAGNIFICENCE
Sir Gorgius Midas: "Hullo! Where's all the rest of yer gone to?"
Head Footman: "If you please, Sir Gorgius, as it was past two o'clock, and we didn't know for certain whether you was coming back here, or going to sleep in the City, the hother footmen thought they might go to bed——"
Sir Gorgius: "'Thought they might go to bed,' did they? A pretty state of things, indeed! So that if I'd 'a 'appened to brought 'ome a friend, there'd 'a only been you four to let us hin, hay!"
Critics and satirists of fashionable English society in the early and middle periods of the Victorian age were mainly concerned with its arrogance and exclusiveness. As we reach the 'seventies, with the breaking down of the old caste barriers and the intrusion of the new plutocracy, the ground of attack is shifted; the "old nobility," dislodged from their Olympian fastnesses, are exhibited as not merely accepting but paying court to underbred millionaires, and eking out their reduced incomes by an irregular and undignified competitionwith journalists, shopkeepers, and even actors. Society had ceased to be exclusive; it was becoming "smart," and had taken to self-advertisement. Wealth without manners had invaded Mayfair.
Woes of the Country Squire
These days ushered in the age of Society journals, of Society beauties, of vulgarity in high places, of parasitic peers, of the invasion of society by American heiresses, of the beginning of the end of the chaperon, the dawn of the gospel of "self-expression," and the rebellion of sons and daughters. Money, or the lack of it, was at the root of all, or nearly all, these changes. Dukes had already begun to sell their libraries and art treasures, and the wail of the old landed aristocracy was not unfairly vocalized in "The Song of the Country Squire," to the air of "The Fine old English Gentleman," and published byPunchin the autumn of 1882:—
The fine Old English Gentleman once held a fine estate,Of a few thousand acres of farm and forest land, with polite and punctually-paying tenants, excellent shooting, ancestral oaks, immemorial elms, and all that sort of thing.But it hasn't been so of late;For the rents have gone down about twenty per cent., lots of acres are laid down in grass,And the person who imagines that the Squire of whom Washington Irving and Mounseer Montalembert wrote all sorts of pretty things has a jolly good time of it in these de—testable days,Is a sentimental ass,Says the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the present time.The fine Old Country Gentleman has an Elizabethan mansion,But what the dickens is the good of that if his means continually narrow in proportion toHis family's expansion?If he gives up his deer, and sells his timber, dismisses his servants, and thinks of advertising his house for a grammar school,Or a lunatic asylum(As he often has to do), what is there in his lot to excite the jealousy of those darned Radicals, though the common comfort of that poorcaput lupinum, the Land Owner, on however little a scaleSeems invariably to rile 'em?Asks the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.With an encumbered property, diminishing rent-roll, and expenses beyond his income,The question which confronts him at every corner is, whence will the needful "tin" come?And when they prate to us about our "improvidence," and advise us to "cut down" and economize, why, where, in the name of patience, I ask'llBe the pull of being a Country Gentleman at all, if one has to live like a retired pork-butcher or prosperous publican, and perhaps you will answerThat question, Mr. Charles Milnes Gaskell![8]Of the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.
The fine Old English Gentleman once held a fine estate,Of a few thousand acres of farm and forest land, with polite and punctually-paying tenants, excellent shooting, ancestral oaks, immemorial elms, and all that sort of thing.But it hasn't been so of late;For the rents have gone down about twenty per cent., lots of acres are laid down in grass,And the person who imagines that the Squire of whom Washington Irving and Mounseer Montalembert wrote all sorts of pretty things has a jolly good time of it in these de—testable days,Is a sentimental ass,Says the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the present time.
The fine Old English Gentleman once held a fine estate,
Of a few thousand acres of farm and forest land, with polite and punctually-paying tenants, excellent shooting, ancestral oaks, immemorial elms, and all that sort of thing.
But it hasn't been so of late;
For the rents have gone down about twenty per cent., lots of acres are laid down in grass,
And the person who imagines that the Squire of whom Washington Irving and Mounseer Montalembert wrote all sorts of pretty things has a jolly good time of it in these de—testable days,
Is a sentimental ass,
Says the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the present time.
The fine Old Country Gentleman has an Elizabethan mansion,But what the dickens is the good of that if his means continually narrow in proportion toHis family's expansion?If he gives up his deer, and sells his timber, dismisses his servants, and thinks of advertising his house for a grammar school,Or a lunatic asylum(As he often has to do), what is there in his lot to excite the jealousy of those darned Radicals, though the common comfort of that poorcaput lupinum, the Land Owner, on however little a scaleSeems invariably to rile 'em?Asks the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.With an encumbered property, diminishing rent-roll, and expenses beyond his income,The question which confronts him at every corner is, whence will the needful "tin" come?And when they prate to us about our "improvidence," and advise us to "cut down" and economize, why, where, in the name of patience, I ask'llBe the pull of being a Country Gentleman at all, if one has to live like a retired pork-butcher or prosperous publican, and perhaps you will answerThat question, Mr. Charles Milnes Gaskell![8]Of the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.
The fine Old Country Gentleman has an Elizabethan mansion,
But what the dickens is the good of that if his means continually narrow in proportion to
His family's expansion?
If he gives up his deer, and sells his timber, dismisses his servants, and thinks of advertising his house for a grammar school,
Or a lunatic asylum
(As he often has to do), what is there in his lot to excite the jealousy of those darned Radicals, though the common comfort of that poorcaput lupinum, the Land Owner, on however little a scale
Seems invariably to rile 'em?
Asks the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.
With an encumbered property, diminishing rent-roll, and expenses beyond his income,
The question which confronts him at every corner is, whence will the needful "tin" come?
And when they prate to us about our "improvidence," and advise us to "cut down" and economize, why, where, in the name of patience, I ask'll
Be the pull of being a Country Gentleman at all, if one has to live like a retired pork-butcher or prosperous publican, and perhaps you will answer
That question, Mr. Charles Milnes Gaskell![8]
Of the fine Old Country Gentleman, one of the modern time.
The "profiteer" was already in Society and on the moors;Punchreviled him in "My 'art's in the 'Ighlands," and in a picture of an opulent Semite swearing that he hasn't "a drop of Hebrew blood in ma veinth, 'thelp me." Du Maurier created Sir Gorgius Midas as typical of the New Plutocracy—a gross, bediamonded figure, surrounded by flunkeys, with Dukes and Duchesses as his pensioners. The alleged poverty-stricken condition of the aristocracy is a frequent theme: one ducal family can only afford to go to the opera when Sir Gorgius lends them his box. But the Dukes still had their uses. The Beresford Midases put their boy's name down both for Eton and Harrow, and decided to send him to whichever has most "dooks" when the time comes. The New Rich show themselves apt pupils in all the snobbery of rank. For example, Sir Gorgius is shocked at the innovation of ladies and gentlemen riding in or on omnibuses. This is not documentary evidence, of course, but it was perfectly legitimate caricature. Du Maurier was not attacking the self-made man whose creed is summed up in the Lancashire saying: "Them as 'as brass don't care a damn what them as 'asn't thinks on 'em." He bestowed his ridicule impartially on the servile plutocrats who aped the customs of the titled classes, and the aristocrats who were unable to grow poor with dignity. Du Maurier's contribution to the social history of the middle and later Victorian age was invaluable on its critical and satirical side. But he was emphatically an aristocrat in the sense that he believed in good manners and fine physique: he set beauty above rank or riches, and was an early apostle of Eugenics. Long before the cult of athletics had begun to affect the stature and build of English girls, he devoted his pencil to glorifying the Junoesque type of English beauty. And while none ofPunch'sartists ever paid more consistent homage to elegance and distinction of feature and figure, he could be on occasion a merciless satirist of the physical deterioration brought about by intermarriage amongstthe old nobility. Thus in 1880 he showed a ridiculous little degenerate affectionately rebuking his effete parents for "interfering in his affairs," with the result that he is "under 5 feet 1 inch, can't say Boh to a goose, and justly passes for the gweatest guy in the whole county."
The same spirit is shown in the fantastic contrast between the aristocracies of the past and the future. The scene is "an island in British Oceana"; the time 1989, a hundred years later than the date of the picture:—
His Highness the Grand Duke of Gerolstein: "Ach! Miss Prown—in your lôfly bresence I forket my zixty-vour kvarterings. I lay my Ditle at your Veet. Bitte! pecome ze Crant Tochess of Gerolstein!"Miss Brown: "Your Highness also forgets that I have sixty-four Quarterings!"His Highness: "Ach! How is dat, Miss Prown?"Miss Brown: "Why, my father and mother, my four grandparents, my eight great-grandparents, my sixteen great-great-grandparents, and my thirty-two great-great-great-grandparents were all certified over six foot six inches, perfect in form and feature, and with health and minds and manners to match, or they would not have been allowed to marry. And though I'm the shortest and plainest girl in the colony, I should never be allowed to marry anyone so very much beneath myself as your Highness!"
His Highness the Grand Duke of Gerolstein: "Ach! Miss Prown—in your lôfly bresence I forket my zixty-vour kvarterings. I lay my Ditle at your Veet. Bitte! pecome ze Crant Tochess of Gerolstein!"
Miss Brown: "Your Highness also forgets that I have sixty-four Quarterings!"
His Highness: "Ach! How is dat, Miss Prown?"
Miss Brown: "Why, my father and mother, my four grandparents, my eight great-grandparents, my sixteen great-great-grandparents, and my thirty-two great-great-great-grandparents were all certified over six foot six inches, perfect in form and feature, and with health and minds and manners to match, or they would not have been allowed to marry. And though I'm the shortest and plainest girl in the colony, I should never be allowed to marry anyone so very much beneath myself as your Highness!"