CAPITAL AND LABOUR

"Well, if I must, I shall have to fightFor the love of a bounding Balkanite."

"Well, if I must, I shall have to fight

For the love of a bounding Balkanite."

An even more detached and ironical note is sounded in the fantasy headed "Armageddon"—a satire on Porkins, a blatant young golfing "nut" who thinks that England needs a war to cure her of flabbiness. The granting of his desire is traced to the cynical intervention of the Gods of Olympus in promoting a little scrap over a love affair in an obscure corner of the Balkans:—

And when a year later the hundred-thousandth English mother woke up to read that her boy had been shot, I am afraid she shed foolish tears and thought that the world had come to an end. Poor shortsighted creature! She didn't realize that Porkins, who had marched round the links in ninety-six the day before, was now thoroughly braced up.

These two utterances may show thatPunchhad failed in reading the signs of the times, and did not render justice to the youth of the country. I prefer to regard them as proofs thatPunch, like the vast majority of his fellow-countrymen, neither expected nor desired war.

[1]Josiah Tatnall, flag-officer of the East India Squadron in 1856.

[2]Mr. James Falconer, the Liberal Member for Forfarshire, 1909-1918.

[3]The present writer was at Bayreuth in the week before the War. After the declaration of war on Serbia by Austria and in view of its inevitable consequences, the Germans, in conversation and in their Press, were unanimous in "banking on" the neutrality of England on the ground of her domestic embarrassments in Ulster and the friendliness of the Liberal Government.

The fervid Radicalism ofPunch'searlier years had always been tempered by a distrust of "agitators" and socialistic experiments. It is impossible to deny that, in the period under review in this volume, this distrust gained in force if not in vehemence. There is nothing so bitter as the sketch of the delegate which appeared in the days of Douglas Jerrold (see Vol. I, p. 50), but the general attitude of the paper to the working man is decidedly less sympathetic. This change can be illustrated negatively as well as positively; less space is devoted to "the people," and more to "Society"—though in many cases it is suburban society—and to the middle classes. The references to Labour exhibit an increasing tendency to criticize and denounce trade union tyranny, socialistic legislation, the improvidence and extravagance of highly paid workmen, and "ergophobia" (asPunchacademically calls work-shyness)—a habit which he describes as early as 1892 as "the new employment of being 'unemployed.'" Yet ifPunchwas increasingly critical of Labour—organized Labour—he was very far from being a thick-and-thin champion of Capital. Greedy employers and directors are never spared. The agricultural depression in 1892 furnishes him with the occasion for a vigorous onslaught on railway rates. Agriculture is shown as a female figure, bound hand and foot by Foreign Competition, lying prostrate on the track and about to be run down by an engine labelled Railway Rates. In 1895 the verses and cartoon inspired by lock-outs on the Clyde are equally severe on the employers.Punchcondemns the action of "crass and unpatriotic capital," and shows Britannia rebuking the shipbuilders who are playing into Germany's hands by assisting the growth of her navy. In 1896, under the heading of "The Millions to the Millionaires,"Punchtakes for his text an actual appeal made by the working men of Walworthon the death of Baron Hirsch,à proposof his munificent bequests tohiscountrymen, and holds up the example for imitation. The continuance of the habit of "slumming," out of curiosity rather than good will, prompts in 1897 a satirical inversion of the organized visits to the East End.Punch's"West End Exploration Agency, Ltd.," provided "Night Tours through Belgravia and Lightest London" with the purpose of proving "the depressing monotony and triviality of the existence to which Fashion's merciless decree condemns her countless thousands of white slaves."

The debate in the Commons in the same year over Lord Penrhyn's dispute with his quarrymen foundPunchdecidedly hostile to the young Tory lions who supported that inflexible peer. When in 1900 the Coal Mining Companies in Fife declared a dividend of 50 per cent., and the price of coal was still rising,Punchcastigated the greed of the owners. In 1907 the miners are exempted from any share of the responsibility for the high cost of coal. The triple Cerberus who dominates the situation is made up of the colliery owner, the coal merchant and the railway company. But as the price this joint monster exacted was only 30s. a ton—exorbitant for the time, no doubt—it is hard for this generation to sharePunch'ssympathy for the consumer. As late as 1912, when the coal crisis again became acute,Punch, though resenting the increased resort to the strike weapon, represents the merchant profiteer as in clover while Britannia is the victim of his avarice.

Underpaid Women Workers

On behalf ofunorganizedlabour, when it was unfairly exploited by the employer,Punchcontinued to lift up his voice in the old strain. In 1893 the hard case of the shopgirls, slave-driven by exacting masters, always standing, too tired at the end of the week to profit by Sunday, prompts him to a plea for a true Day of Rest. The verses, like the "Cry of the City Clerk," are vitiated by their sentimentality. There is more vigour in the lines "'Arriet on Labour" in the same year, which show that the new type of woman was not confined to the upper classes. 'Arriet is a workgirl who works hard, loves her freedom and nights off, has no respect for spouting Labour candidates, and no envy of married drudges:—

Labour? Well, yus, the best of hus must work; yer carn't git quit of it;And you and me, Poll, like the rest, must do our little bit of it.But oh, I loves myfreedom, Poll, my hevenings hoff is 'eaven;But wives and slavies ain't allowed even one day in seven.Jigger the men! Sam spouts and shouts about the 'Onest Worker.That always means a Man, of course—he's a smart Man, the shirker.But when a Man lives upon his wife, and skulks around his diggings,Who is the "'Onest Worker" then? Yours truly,'Arriet 'Iggings.

Labour? Well, yus, the best of hus must work; yer carn't git quit of it;

And you and me, Poll, like the rest, must do our little bit of it.

But oh, I loves myfreedom, Poll, my hevenings hoff is 'eaven;

But wives and slavies ain't allowed even one day in seven.

Jigger the men! Sam spouts and shouts about the 'Onest Worker.That always means a Man, of course—he's a smart Man, the shirker.But when a Man lives upon his wife, and skulks around his diggings,Who is the "'Onest Worker" then? Yours truly,

Jigger the men! Sam spouts and shouts about the 'Onest Worker.

That always means a Man, of course—he's a smart Man, the shirker.

But when a Man lives upon his wife, and skulks around his diggings,

Who is the "'Onest Worker" then? Yours truly,

'Arriet 'Iggings.

Another "hard case" exposed byPunchin the following year was that of the rural schoolmistress, contrasted unfavourably with Crabbe's version.Punchtook his cue from a paper read by Dr. Macnamara at a meeting of the N.U.T. and drew a lamentable picture of the weary, overworked and miserably underpaid teacher, "passingpooron £40 a year." The picture was obviously drawn at second-hand, but the line in which the schoolmistress is described as "a lonely, tired, certificated slave" was an excellent summary of a real hardship. Women workers were not only slave-driven by employers and underpaid by the State; they were also handicapped by the competition of their sisters who only worked for pocket-money. This, at least, was the burden of a complaint made by an old-fashioned woman in theDaily Chroniclein the autumn of 1895:—

"In every branch of work we see well-to-do women crowding into the ranks of competition, in consequence of which wages are lowered, and women who really want work are left to starve."

This letter inspiredPunchto deliver a fierce homily in verse on the wickedness of well-to-do women "playing at work," to the detriment of their poor sisters. As a set-off, however, we may note that in 1897Punchcondemns mistresses for exploiting "Lady servants," getting them to do double the work for half the ordinary wages because of their inability to stand up for themselves. Sweated women workers were still to be found in the tailoring trade, andPunchdid well in 1896 to retell in his columns the story of the tailoress, Mary Ould of Peckham, as unfolded before the Lambeth County Court. She had tobuy her own materials and pay her fare for fetching and carrying work; she toiled till 10 p.m. from Saturday till Thursday and, at ¾d. per coat, earned 3s. The pillorying of these abuses did credit toPunch'shumanity, but as they were nearly always chosen from unorganized trades, they became increasingly difficult to reconcile with his increasing hostility to trade union organization, and his distrust of legislation expressly designed to satisfy the demands of Labour. Philanthropic efforts to relieve the squalor of the home life of the poor were another matter. To the appeals of the Children's Country Holiday FundPunchalways lent a ready ear, and when Canon Barnett arranged an exhibition of Watts's pictures in Whitechapel,Punchvigorously applauded the scheme. Pictures were as good as sermons, and better than many:—

Where Whitechapel's darkness the weary eyes of the dreary worker dims,It may be found that Watts's pictures do better than Watts's hymns.

Where Whitechapel's darkness the weary eyes of the dreary worker dims,

It may be found that Watts's pictures do better than Watts's hymns.

Two ladies discussing a painting.ART IN WHITECHAPEL"Well, that's what I calls a himpossible persition to get yerself into!"

ART IN WHITECHAPEL

"Well, that's what I calls a himpossible persition to get yerself into!"

The Children's Champion

At the same time the Philistine attitude of the East End matron is not overlooked in Phil May's picture. Much depended onthe spirit in which this campaign of enlightenment was conducted, andPunchcontinued to rebuke and satirize the lack of sympathy and comprehension shown by the fashionable "slummer." He had "no use" for people like "Mrs. Slumley Smirk," the District Visitor, who asked to be warned if any illness was about, as then she wouldn't wish to come near; and he was even more satirical at the expense of Socialism as conceived by certain members of the aristocracy—videthe imaginary interview with "Lady Yorick" in 1905—who sought to have it both ways, and, as I notice elsewhere, represented a new and inverted type of snobbery.

For the scandal of the insurance of poor children's lives he held not the parents, but the "Bogus Insurance sneak," mainly responsible. He is at least half in sympathy with the soliloquy in St. James's Park of the Socialist loafer who deprecates the amount of food wasted on the ducks and swans. He applauds the revival of Folk Dancing in 1903; in 1905 there is a long and charming sketch of an old Cambridge bedmaker who had recently died at an advanced age; and in the following yearPunchpublished a delightful imaginary description of a socialistic experiment, by which poor children were sent on visits to "upper-class" families, and treated as guests and equals, to the mutual profit of both classes. The scheme is suggested as an improvement on bazaars and similar activities. On the other hand,Punchindulges in ironic comment on the result of well-meant efforts to teach poor children to "think imperially"—a subject on which he spoke with more than one voice. In an Empire Day Essay a London school-child wrote in 1908:—

"There are a lot of Empires like Chinese Empire, Hackney Empire, Stratford Empire, and Russian Empire. Hackney Empire is different to ours because they sing there, and ours is places."

Boy scout waving flag on ramparts.THE CAPTURE OF WINDSOR CASTLEby the Boy Scouts.

THE CAPTURE OF WINDSOR CASTLEby the Boy Scouts.

The Boy Scout Movement

The best-inspired and most fruitful of all movements for the uplifting of the children of the people which belongs to this period was that of the Boy Scouts. It was entirely independent of State or official encouragement, and sprang from the ingenious brain of one man, General Sir Robert Baden-Powell, andPunch, as an Individualist, was not inclined to think worse of it on that account. As a matter of fact, he greeted the Boy Scouts with the utmost cordiality from the very outset. In 1909 his cartoon on "Our Youngest Line of Defence" shows the Boy Scout reassuring Mrs. Britannia: "Fear not, Grandma; no danger can befall you now. RememberIam with you." Later on in 1911 came the delightful cartoon of the Boy Scouts capturing Windsor Castle, and, on the very eve of the war, inPunch'sHoliday Pages we encounter the late Mr. F. H. Townsend's admirable picture of our "dear old friend the foreign spy (cunningly disguised as a golfer) visiting our youngest suburb on a Saturday afternoon in quest of further evidence of our lethargy, general decadence and falling birth-rate." As a result of observing the activity and numbers of the Boy Scouts, he gets a serious shock, and at once telegraphs to his Commander-in-Chief "urging that the conquest of the British Isles be undertaken before the present generation is many years older." This oblique and imaginative tribute was happily conceived and well deserved. The spirit of the Boy Scout movement was at least a contributory factor in helping us to win the War. What was even more important was the conversion of a great many Pacificists from their mistrust of the alleged "militarism" of the movement, and their recognition of its essential value as an instrument in fostering self-respect, truthfulness, altruistic kindliness and cleanliness of mind and body.

Crowd scene at Scouts gathering.OUR DEAR OLD FRIEND THE FOREIGN SPY

OUR DEAR OLD FRIEND THE FOREIGN SPY

Strikes and Unemployment

This record—and it is by no means exhaustive—ofPunch'shumanitarian activities must not blind us to the fact that throughout these years the principal object of his sympathy and compassion was not the working man but the middle-class tax-and rate-payer. In 1893Punchdepicts him bound to a post and in danger of being drowned by the rising tide of rates—L.C.C., Asylums, Libraries, Baths, Vestries.Punch, as we have seen, did not acquit the coal owners and coal merchants of rapacity, but he was not any more sympathetic to the miners—witness the following dialogue printed in the same year:—

THE STRIKER'S VADE MECUM

Question.You think it is a good thing to strike?Answer.Yes, when there is no other remedy.Q.Is there ever any other remedy?A.Never. At least, so say the secretaries.Q.Then you stand by the opinions of the officials?A.Why, of course; because they are paid to give them.Q.But have not the employers any interests?A.Lots, but they are not worthy the working man's consideration.Q.But are not their interests yours?A.Yes, and that is the way we guard over them.Q.But surely it is the case of cutting off the nose to spite the mouth?A.And why not, if the mouth is too well fed.Q.But are not arguments better than bludgeons?A.No. And bludgeons are less effective than revolvers.Q.But may not the use of revolvers produce the military?A.Yes, but they can do nothing without a magistrate reading the Riot Act.Q.But, the Riot Act read, does not the work become serious?A.Probably. But at any rate the work is lawful, because unremunerative.Q.But how are the wives and children of strikers to live if their husbands and fathers earn no wages?A.On strike money.Q.But does all the strike money go to the maintenance of the hearth and home?A.Of course not, for a good share of it is wanted for the baccy-shop and the public-house.Q.But if strikes continue will not trade suffer?A.Very likely, but trade represents the masters.Q.And if trade is driven away from the country, will it come back?A.Most likely not, but that is a matter for the future.Q.But is not the future of equal importance to the present?A.Not at all, for a day's thought is quite enough for a day's work.Q.Then a strike represents either nothing or idleness?A.Yes, bludgeons or beer.Q.And what is the value of reason?A.Why, something less than smoke.

Question.You think it is a good thing to strike?

Answer.Yes, when there is no other remedy.

Q.Is there ever any other remedy?

A.Never. At least, so say the secretaries.

Q.Then you stand by the opinions of the officials?

A.Why, of course; because they are paid to give them.

Q.But have not the employers any interests?

A.Lots, but they are not worthy the working man's consideration.

Q.But are not their interests yours?

A.Yes, and that is the way we guard over them.

Q.But surely it is the case of cutting off the nose to spite the mouth?

A.And why not, if the mouth is too well fed.

Q.But are not arguments better than bludgeons?

A.No. And bludgeons are less effective than revolvers.

Q.But may not the use of revolvers produce the military?

A.Yes, but they can do nothing without a magistrate reading the Riot Act.

Q.But, the Riot Act read, does not the work become serious?

A.Probably. But at any rate the work is lawful, because unremunerative.

Q.But how are the wives and children of strikers to live if their husbands and fathers earn no wages?

A.On strike money.

Q.But does all the strike money go to the maintenance of the hearth and home?

A.Of course not, for a good share of it is wanted for the baccy-shop and the public-house.

Q.But if strikes continue will not trade suffer?

A.Very likely, but trade represents the masters.

Q.And if trade is driven away from the country, will it come back?

A.Most likely not, but that is a matter for the future.

Q.But is not the future of equal importance to the present?

A.Not at all, for a day's thought is quite enough for a day's work.

Q.Then a strike represents either nothing or idleness?

A.Yes, bludgeons or beer.

Q.And what is the value of reason?

A.Why, something less than smoke.

SimultaneouslyPunchpublished a cartoon (rather prematurely) in which Mars, expressing his readiness to arbitrate, appeals to Vulcan to do the same. Lord Rosebery's successful intervention as a mediator in the coal strike in December, 1893, is handsomely acknowledged in the cartoon in which he figures as the "G.O.M.'s handy boy." Lord Rosebery was still at the height of his personal popularity; it was not until 1905 thatPunchdescribed him as "unemployable." Unemployment had reached formidable dimensions, and then, as now, proved serviceable material to the political agitator. Mr. Asquith, as Home Secretary, had allowed political meetings in Trafalgar Square "so long as the proceedings were orderly," andPunchrepresented the disappointment of the extremists at having the ground cut from under their feet by this condition. A year laterPunchdepicted the Trafalgar Square of the future, with anarchy rampant in every corner, and early in1894 the verses "The Devil's Latest Walk (after Coleridge and Southey)," fiercely attacking Socialist agitators as animated by sheer malice, are accompanied by a picture of a fiendish figure with horns and tail.

Man leaning against a wall.THE UNEMPLOYABLE(Dedicated to Lord R-s-b-ry)

THE UNEMPLOYABLE(Dedicated to Lord R-s-b-ry)

Gambling and Improvidence

It was about this time that, as we read in theAnnual Register, "a large body of the unemployed attended service at St. Paul's Cathedral in response to an invitation from Canon Scott Holland, whose sermon was frequently interrupted by the applause of those present."Punch, in his then mood, wouldhave probably explained this episode on the principle of "the Devil was sick, the Devil a monk would be."Punchwas no admirer of the art of Mr. George Moore, but he had paid him reluctant homage as a moralist in 1894, under the head of "All the Winners":—

Boycotted or not boycotted, ifEsther Waterscalls general and effectual attention to the growth of gambling, which is the real "curse of the country" in these days, it will do more good than all theDodosandMarcellasandBarabbasesandHeavenly Twinsin all the Libraries in the land.

It was in the same spirit that a few years laterPunchapplauded the idea of establishing a Bureau of Common-sense to combat the extravagance and improvidence of the working classes. The suggestion was made by Judge Emden, the well-known County Court Judge, in dealing with the case of a man who, on wages of from 25s. to 30s. a week, committed himself to a twenty-five-guinea piano on the hire-purchase system.

"Agricultural Depression" bulks largely inPunch'spages in the 'nineties, but it is the farmer, not the farm labourer, who is singled out for commiseration. In 1893 he is shown as Buridan's Ass between two piles of sapless chaff—Tory and Liberal—overburdened by the triple load of Rents, Rates and Foreign Competition:—

What choice between the chaff of arid RadAnd that of equally dry-and-dusty Tory?Chaplin would feed you on preposterous fad,And Gardner[4]on—postponement! The old story!While the grass grows the horse may starve. Poor ass!Party would bring you to a similar pass!

What choice between the chaff of arid Rad

And that of equally dry-and-dusty Tory?

Chaplin would feed you on preposterous fad,

And Gardner[4]on—postponement! The old story!

While the grass grows the horse may starve. Poor ass!

Party would bring you to a similar pass!

In the summer of 1894 the verses "A Good Time Coming" foreshadow the end of the agricultural depression, but a few weeks later the farmer was bitterly disappointed. His crops had been plentiful, but the plenty had brought down the price of wheat in some cases to 16s. and 19s. a quarter. In short, there had been a golden harvest, but he couldn't get gold forit. Let it be noted, in parenthesis, that ifPunchespoused the cause of the farmer, he was not wholly wedded to the old ruralrégimeof the Squire and the Parson. In 1894 there is a humorously ironic lament by a lover of the "Good Old Times" in the form of a new version of "The Village Blacksmith," suggested by the actual return of a blacksmith to one of the new parish councils at the head of the poll. When the Conservatives came back to power in 1895, Lord Salisbury, in a new fable of Hercules and the Farmer, is represented as adroitly ascribing agricultural depression to Providence, and exculpating the Government which had done its best; but the farmer is unconvinced by this pious explanation. The remedy which the Government sought to apply in the Agricultural Land Rating Bill of 1896 failed to satisfyPunch. Mr. Chaplin is seen, in an adaptation of Æsop, shifting the burden of rural rates from the horse (country) to the ass (town). But the latter wasPunch'sspecialprotégé, and the verses in May express accurately enough the cry of the poor townsman, the rate-crushed cockney, protesting against Mr. Chaplin's remedy when the income-tax was already 8d. in the pound! The income-tax payer this time is the patient ass, hoping that some at least of the surplus of six millions may be devoted to the relief of his gigantic burden. To return to Agriculture, a sidelight is thrown on the shortage of farm hands in 1901, in the picture of an elderly farmer rebuking a very small boy for slacking, only to be met by the retort "Chaps is scarce." The parallel to the Great War is obvious, but one would hardly have thought that the Boer war was on a large enough scale to affect the labour market in this way. In 1903 voluntary labour bureaus were started, but the results were disappointing, andPunchquotes an account of an experiment in Wiltshire. Fifteen men had been sent down from London; two returned in three days "because it rained"; and twelve more were back in a fortnight. Our increasing reliance on imported food had already promptedPunchto indulge in a forecast of the Stores of the Future, at which Tierra-del-Fuego Devonshire cream and similar products are offered for sale because it had become impossible to get any home-grown produce. The exodus fromthe land to the cities was already in full swing, and we findPunchas early as 1896 commending a clergyman who had started dancing classes in his village near Stroud as a counter-attraction to the lure of the towns. In this context it is worthy of note that in 1900Punchsuggested that, as a result of socialistic legislation in Australia and elsewhere, and the growing struggle for the good things of life, no one was willing "to do the washing up." Yet prices and taxes were low enough to excite the envy of the harassed post-war householder. Eggs were advertised at 16 for 1s., but even this did not satisfy Phil May's broken-down tragedian in 1900, who exclaims ashe reads the announcement in a shop-window: "Cheap! Ha! Ha! Why, in my time theythrewthem at us."

Cartoom, Chamberlain speaking to A. N. other.JOE THE VENTRILOQUISTProfessor Ch-mb-rl-n: "You see, ladies and gentlemen, he talks just as well even when I go right away!"

JOE THE VENTRILOQUIST

Professor Ch-mb-rl-n: "You see, ladies and gentlemen, he talks just as well even when I go right away!"

Town v. Country

If all was not well with those who lived on or by the land, the town exodus of week-enders and the demand for small country residences had already created a cult of "rural felicity," the artificiality of which did not escapePunchwhen he satirized in 1904 the platitudinous appreciation of Nature and country life distilled in the halfpenny Press. At the same time the drastic legislation dealing with the land problem introduced by the Liberals on their return to power in 1906 found little or no sympathy fromPunch. The cross-currents revealed in the Unionist Party by the great Tariff Reform controversy, the resignation of Mr. Chamberlain, the secession of the Free Trade Ministers, and the inability of the plain person to cope with the transcendental fiscal dialectics of Mr. Balfour, had made it difficult forPunch, born and bred in the principles of Free Trade, to accord a whole-hearted support to the Unionist administration in its later years. There was, however, no perplexity in his attitude towards the land policy of their successors. At all their stagesPunchwas hostile to the new "Lloyd Georgics." We may specially single out the cartoon in August, 1910, presenting a "study of a free-born Briton who, within the period usually allotted to his holidays, is required under threat of a penalty of £50 to answer a mass of obscure conundrums relating to land values, to facilitate his future taxation." The miseries of this inquisitorial process are further developed in an imaginary extract from a specimen return showing how some of the questions in the historic "Form IV" were to be answered. The sequel to this laborious and costly preliminary investigation falls outside the scope of this volume. Nor is it necessary to dwell at length on the movement, doubtless animated by a noble sympathy with the rural population, initiated by theDaily Mailin 1911 on behalf of the revival of windmills and standard bread. The new-found interest in the yokel is satirized in the song of the "Merry Hind" (after Masefield'sDaffodil Fields), and the cartoon "The Return of the Golden Age" in February, 1913, where Mr. Lloyd George is seen emptying a cornucopia of "rare and refreshing fruit"into the lap of the ecstatic farm labourer. Hodge was at last fairly in the limelight, for both parties had their land policy, and the opening of Mr. Lloyd George's Land Campaign in October is symbolized by a picture of him as an irresponsible music-hall comedian with "Songs Without Wurzels. No. 1, Land of Hope (as arranged by the Cabinet)" in his hand. Mr. Asquith is seen as his accompanist, waiting for the "patter" to finish, and observing, "This is the part that makes me nervous." But thePall Mall Gazette, then edited by the great Mr. Garvin, declared in December that "whatever can be done to improve the lot of the agriculturist will have the Opposition's cordial support," and, on the strength of this assurance, the Premier's anxiety, inPunch'sview, was allayed. When Scout George reports to his chief "the enemy is on our side, sir," Scoutmaster Asquith replies, "Then let the battle begin."

Cartoon, Horn of Plenty emptied into farmer's smock.THE RETURN OF THE GOLDEN AGE(Vide The Lloyd-Georgics—passim)

THE RETURN OF THE GOLDEN AGE(Vide The Lloyd-Georgics—passim)

Work, Wages, Pensions, and Doles

Farmers and farm labourers were regarded inPunch'ssurvey as not much more than pawns in the game of party politics. The claims of organized labour in the other great industries and the general tendency of legislation in their interests found him a more vigilant and a more hostile critic. Even so mild a measure as the Early Closing Bill of 1896—with the principle of which he had been in agreement in earlier years—excited his misgivings and prompted a forecast of increasingly intimate interference with the private life of householders: the outline of his "Household Regulations Act" contains provisions for hours of rising, cleaning, meals, bills and rent. It is a burlesque, but none the less indicates resentment of patriarchal State interference. YetPunch'sgeneral individualism admitted of exceptions. He noted the failure of the Voluntary Labour Bureau system, and was frivolously critical of the amateur attempt of a vicar to start Trust Houses to supersede Public Houses—a movement which later on came to stay and to achieve solid results. Here, however, allowance must be made forPunch'sinveterate distrust of temperance agitators. State interference on behalf of minorities did not always meet withPunch'sapproval, and in 1898 we find him vehemently protesting against the recognition of "Conscientious Objectors" to vaccination. In a striking pictureheaded "The Triumph of De-Jenner-ation" he shows a grisly skeleton waving as his banner the Vaccination Bill, whichPunchcalls "the Bill for the encouragement of Small Pox." But the burden of his criticisms of Labour is concerned with the artificial restriction of output, the conversion of the trade unions from an industrial to a political organization, and the increasing tendency of State intervention to encourage a reluctance either to work or save. The picture of Hyde Park on "Labour Day" in 1898 with the grass strewn with recumbent sleeping figures is, if I read it aright, designed less in compassion for the unemployed than as a satire on the unemployable. Wages were high in the bricklaying trade, but a shortage of labour was complained of; as for the skill required, a surveyor had written to theDaily Telegraphstating that "any ordinary man could learn bricklaying in a fortnight," andPunchironically foreshadows the invasion of the trade by underpaid clerks, barristers, etc. Ruskin College—opened at Oxford in 1899—is described as "a College for Labour Leaders" byPunch, who rather unnecessarily prophesied that it might become the scene of "strikes"; but the friction which arose between those who conceived that the function of the college was purely educational, and those who wished to make it a school of political thought, went far to justifyPunch'smisgivings. The plan of Old Age Pensions had long been in the air. The committee which reported in 1892 showed considerable divergence of opinion. Mr. Chamberlain, the chairman, condemned Mr. Charles Booth's proposal of the general endowment of old age as a gigantic system of outdoor relief for every one, good and bad, thrifty and unthrifty. The majority of the Royal Commission of 1893 were adverse to State pensions. The Rothschild Committee in 1896 found themselves unable to devise any satisfactory proposal. The Select Committee over which Mr. Chaplin presided put forward a scheme substantially on Mr. Charles Booth's lines, but in view of the cost and the hostility of the Government the matter rested till the passing of the Act by the Liberals in 1908.Punch, it may be noted, was no enthusiast for the scheme formulated by the Chaplin Committee; his cartoon of "Old Gaffer" and "Little Chappelin"(modelled on Southey's ballad) is undoubtedly hostile, and the accompanying verses end up on a cynical note when the "Old Gaffer" asks "Little Chappelin" what is the bag he is carrying, and is told:

"Only another dole," said he;"Itisa famous Ministry."

"Only another dole," said he;

"Itisa famous Ministry."

The Trade Union Congress at Plymouth in the same year censured Lord Mount Edgcumbe because, in throwing open his grounds to them, he had reserved the privacy of his lawn for a garden party.Punchaccordingly indulged in some sarcastic verses, supposed to be written by a Trade Unionist, and ironically applauding the action of Mr. Ben Tillett, who had distinguished himself by his attack on Lord Mount Edgcumbe. This was fair game enough, though to-day it would probably have been passed over in silence.Punchno doubt was thinking of the saying that an Englishman's house is his castle; and hardly anticipated the time when an Englishman's or an English nobleman's castle would cease to be his home. To-day we read with an amused surprisePunch'scomment in 1900 on the introduction of an eight-hours' day for domestics in Australia, and his forecast of a similar state of affairs in England under a new Patriarchal Statute. Nor is there anything wildly extravagant in his ironical anticipation of the cook of the future demanding £100 wages, though unable to guarantee more in return than "chop one day and steak the next." The higher education of servants, according toPunch, was tending to produce a type which knew everything except the things which really mattered. He tells us in 1902 of a lady who was delighted to get a cook who could develop her photographs, and gives us, in the same year, an excellent study (after Gilbert) of the "Up-to-date Cook-General":—

I am the very pattern of an up-to-date cook-general,I've information vegetable, animal and mineral;I've passed the seventh standard, and I vary the monotonyOf flirting with the butcher's boy by writing books on botany.I know the chemistry of zinc, tin, potash and ammonium;I practise on the fiddle, flute, piano and harmonium;I understand minutely the formation of an icicle,And in the season round the Park I like to ride my bicycle.I've studied Herbert Spencer and I've views on sociology,And as a mereparergonI have taken up conchology—In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,I am the very model of an up-to-date cook-general.In fact, when I have learnt to tell a turnip from an artichoke,Or grill a steak that will not make my mistress's dinner-party choke;When I can cook a mutton chop or any plain comestibleIn such a way that it becomes not wholly indigestible;When I can wash a cup without inevitably breaking it,Or make a bed where folk can sleep at ease without remaking it;In short, when I've an inkling of economy domestical,You'll say, "Of all cook-generals this girl the very best I call."For my culinary ignorance and all-round imbecilityIs only to be equalled by my housewifely futility—But still, in learning vegetable, animal and mineral,I am the very pattern of an up-to-date cook-general.

I am the very pattern of an up-to-date cook-general,

I've information vegetable, animal and mineral;

I've passed the seventh standard, and I vary the monotony

Of flirting with the butcher's boy by writing books on botany.

I know the chemistry of zinc, tin, potash and ammonium;

I practise on the fiddle, flute, piano and harmonium;

I understand minutely the formation of an icicle,

And in the season round the Park I like to ride my bicycle.

I've studied Herbert Spencer and I've views on sociology,

And as a mereparergonI have taken up conchology—

In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,

I am the very model of an up-to-date cook-general.

In fact, when I have learnt to tell a turnip from an artichoke,Or grill a steak that will not make my mistress's dinner-party choke;When I can cook a mutton chop or any plain comestibleIn such a way that it becomes not wholly indigestible;When I can wash a cup without inevitably breaking it,Or make a bed where folk can sleep at ease without remaking it;In short, when I've an inkling of economy domestical,You'll say, "Of all cook-generals this girl the very best I call."For my culinary ignorance and all-round imbecilityIs only to be equalled by my housewifely futility—But still, in learning vegetable, animal and mineral,I am the very pattern of an up-to-date cook-general.

In fact, when I have learnt to tell a turnip from an artichoke,

Or grill a steak that will not make my mistress's dinner-party choke;

When I can cook a mutton chop or any plain comestible

In such a way that it becomes not wholly indigestible;

When I can wash a cup without inevitably breaking it,

Or make a bed where folk can sleep at ease without remaking it;

In short, when I've an inkling of economy domestical,

You'll say, "Of all cook-generals this girl the very best I call."

For my culinary ignorance and all-round imbecility

Is only to be equalled by my housewifely futility—

But still, in learning vegetable, animal and mineral,

I am the very pattern of an up-to-date cook-general.

The Aristocrats of Labour

The plethora of processions in 1901 movedPunchto make various suggestions for the better conduct of such spectacles, mostly in the shape of fantastic and satirical concessions to the greatest happiness of the greatest number of sightseers. Warnings against thepanem et circenseshabit were legitimate enough, butPunchtook a more aggressive line in his attack on the miners in 1901:—

A BLACK LOOK-OUT

(A paper picked up near the office of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.)Pity the sorrows of a poor collier, who, if a shilling export duty is imposed upon coal, will have (possibly) to see—1. His wife giving up her music and riding lessons.2. His children not able to go to the seaside for a month or two.3. His favourite licensed victualler unable to supply him with that extra quart he enjoys so much after he has drunk the others.4. His dogs unable to compete for prizes because their upkeep will be too expensive.5. His tailor sending in his account and respectfully requesting immediate payment.6. His wine merchant writing to ask him why he has given up ordering champagne.7. Worst (and, fortunately, most improbable) of all, himself having to work four days a week instead of three.

(A paper picked up near the office of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.)

Pity the sorrows of a poor collier, who, if a shilling export duty is imposed upon coal, will have (possibly) to see—

1. His wife giving up her music and riding lessons.

2. His children not able to go to the seaside for a month or two.

3. His favourite licensed victualler unable to supply him with that extra quart he enjoys so much after he has drunk the others.

4. His dogs unable to compete for prizes because their upkeep will be too expensive.

5. His tailor sending in his account and respectfully requesting immediate payment.

6. His wine merchant writing to ask him why he has given up ordering champagne.

7. Worst (and, fortunately, most improbable) of all, himself having to work four days a week instead of three.

In earlier yearsPunchwould have given chapter and verse for such charges; the later method, though it makes easier reading, carries less weight.Punchdid not, however, wholly abandon the practice of "documenting" his criticism, and he turned it to excellent account in a discussion of the much-abused German clerk in 1898, when he quoted the following passage from the official Consular Report from Stettin, issued by the Foreign Office:—

Much of the commercial knowledge of Germany has been supplied by young Germans who have been employed as clerks in Great Britain, mostly as foreign correspondents. British clerks cannot be used as foreign correspondents, because not one in a thousand can correspond correctly in any foreign language.

For the effective German competition which threatened to oust British trade from the markets of the world,Punchdid not hold any one class responsible. The fault was our national complacency, symbolized in 1901 by a lethargic John Bull priding himself on the superior excellence of his goods, but declining to take the trouble to make foreign customers understand it. The contrast between the German and the Briton in regard to practical business capacity is brought out in the papers headed, "Pashley's Opinions." "Efficiency" was the motto of the hour, yetPunchfound it hard to reconcile the cry with the "Catchwords for the Million," especially the "Equal Rights of Man" as interpreted by trade union rules, especially those affecting bricklaying, which in his view sterilized competition and ambition. Another side of the subject is dealt with in the series of papers entitled, "How to get on," one of which satirizes the almost hysterical worship of "efficiency" by those who in the same breath declared that we were the greatest race on earth and also the greatest slackers, but confined their own energies to mere talk. The underlying principles, however, which governPunch'scontributions to the "Efficiency" controversy could not be better summed up than in the dictum of Mr. J. M. Beck,[5]the Solicitor-General of the United States: "The great evil of the world to-day is the aversion to work."

Two men talking.MR. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW AND THE PEOPLE"Wot d'y' fink o' this 'ere G.B.S.?""Never tried it! I smokes V.B.D."

MR. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW AND THE PEOPLE

"Wot d'y' fink o' this 'ere G.B.S.?"

"Never tried it! I smokes V.B.D."

Sport and Crime

What troubledPunch, to borrow an epigram from another American anonymous writer, was "not so much the unemployment of the idle as the idleness of the employed." He is increasingly concerned with the popular pre-occupation with sport and criminal celebrities, combined with a corresponding apathy on important questions. Foreign politics were only brought home to the masses when they lent themselves to sensational or spectacular treatment, and, in 1903,Punchgibbets an announcement in theScotsman: "Scenes resulting from the Macedonian Atrocities displayed by the Modern Marvel Cinematograph, at 3 and 8 (see Amusement Column)." The sentimental interest in criminals is bluntly rebuked as a perversion of the philanthropic maxim that "to know all is to forgive all"; the blame for this was attributed to the journals which catered for the million, but the avidity with which this pabulum was devoured, and the absence of any protest from those affected, was a disquieting symptom; andPunchwas within his rights in making game of theClarionwhen it scented class distinctionin the abortive movement to introduce knee-breeches for evening wear.

Liberals and Labour

In the Unionist defeat at the election of 1906,Punchrecognized not merely the return to power of the Liberals, but the coming of the "New Demos," the growing importance of the Labour Party, and the increasing impetus lent to its demands. His "farewell to the beaten side" is animated by no enthusiasm for the victors:—

You leave a record which shall bear the lightWhen History delves for Truth in after days,Not as the sudden mob condemns at sight,Or stints its grudging praise.Meanwhile the heart of gratitude is cold;A young new Demos, born of yester-eve,Big-mouthed and blustering, overbears the old,Waiting for no man's leave.Every inhuman name that he can spellHe prints in red for all to know you by,Citing his gods to prove he would not tell,Nor yet believe, a lie.He paints your lurid portraits on the polls:—"Drivers of slaves that oust the white man's brood.""Bigots that bind in chains our children's souls!""Filchers of poor folk's food!"Had you been Czars to drain the people's blood,Or sought to earn a country's dying curse,Dragging her remnant honour through the mud,He could have done no worse.His hooligans are out with stones and dirt;And in the darkness you must hide your head,Nor look for Chivalry to salve the hurt,For Demos reigns instead.Not much it helps to know that those, ere long,Who lent him aid and did a mutual deal,Will find their henchman, grown a shade too strong,Stamping them under heel.Little it serves that they, your old-time foes,Who found him useful for their present ends,Must seek you soon and plaintively propose—"Please save us from our friends!"But let this solace keep your hearts resigned—That, till a second lustre's course is through,The noblest heritage you leave behindDemos can scarce undo.

You leave a record which shall bear the lightWhen History delves for Truth in after days,Not as the sudden mob condemns at sight,Or stints its grudging praise.

You leave a record which shall bear the light

When History delves for Truth in after days,

Not as the sudden mob condemns at sight,

Or stints its grudging praise.

Meanwhile the heart of gratitude is cold;A young new Demos, born of yester-eve,Big-mouthed and blustering, overbears the old,Waiting for no man's leave.

Meanwhile the heart of gratitude is cold;

A young new Demos, born of yester-eve,

Big-mouthed and blustering, overbears the old,

Waiting for no man's leave.

Every inhuman name that he can spellHe prints in red for all to know you by,Citing his gods to prove he would not tell,Nor yet believe, a lie.

Every inhuman name that he can spell

He prints in red for all to know you by,

Citing his gods to prove he would not tell,

Nor yet believe, a lie.

He paints your lurid portraits on the polls:—"Drivers of slaves that oust the white man's brood.""Bigots that bind in chains our children's souls!""Filchers of poor folk's food!"

He paints your lurid portraits on the polls:—

"Drivers of slaves that oust the white man's brood."

"Bigots that bind in chains our children's souls!"

"Filchers of poor folk's food!"

Had you been Czars to drain the people's blood,Or sought to earn a country's dying curse,Dragging her remnant honour through the mud,He could have done no worse.

Had you been Czars to drain the people's blood,

Or sought to earn a country's dying curse,

Dragging her remnant honour through the mud,

He could have done no worse.

His hooligans are out with stones and dirt;And in the darkness you must hide your head,Nor look for Chivalry to salve the hurt,For Demos reigns instead.

His hooligans are out with stones and dirt;

And in the darkness you must hide your head,

Nor look for Chivalry to salve the hurt,

For Demos reigns instead.

Not much it helps to know that those, ere long,Who lent him aid and did a mutual deal,Will find their henchman, grown a shade too strong,Stamping them under heel.

Not much it helps to know that those, ere long,

Who lent him aid and did a mutual deal,

Will find their henchman, grown a shade too strong,

Stamping them under heel.

Little it serves that they, your old-time foes,Who found him useful for their present ends,Must seek you soon and plaintively propose—"Please save us from our friends!"

Little it serves that they, your old-time foes,

Who found him useful for their present ends,

Must seek you soon and plaintively propose—

"Please save us from our friends!"

But let this solace keep your hearts resigned—That, till a second lustre's course is through,The noblest heritage you leave behindDemos can scarce undo.

But let this solace keep your hearts resigned—

That, till a second lustre's course is through,

The noblest heritage you leave behind

Demos can scarce undo.

The prophecy that the Liberals would invoke the assistance of the Unionists to "save them from their friends" was not fulfilled; the course of legislation up to the war indicated in the main a desire to consult the demands of Labour rather than to break away from the alliance. The summary of reasons "Why I lost" from defeated candidates furnishes a useful commentary on the verses quoted above. They include Chinese Labour, the Big Loaf cry, the Education Bill of 1902, the Trade Disputes Bill, Overbridge Trams, the Japanese Alliance and theEntente Cordiale. The messages were not actually received byPunch, but they are not an unfair interpretation of the issues which weighed with the bulk of the electorate. A "spirited foreign policy" was out of favour, and a cold fit had succeeded to the fervour of the "Khaki" election.

The Government lost no time in setting to work to redeem their pledge about Trade Disputes. Early in April, C.-B. figures in the cartoon "Hard to please" as a farmer soliloquizing over his dog (Labour), "He's had two platefuls of biscuits and isn't satisfied. Looks as if he wanted raw meat." The plates, labelled Workmen's Compensation and Merchant Shipping Bill, are both empty. The third, the Trade Disputes Bill, is full of biscuits as yet untouched. When the Attorney-General, Sir J. Lawson Walton, introduced that measure,Punch, in his "Essence of Parliament," speaks of it as a "ticklish Bill" conceding important demands in regard to picketing and conspiracy, but "as to the immunity of Trade Union funds from amercement consequent on civil actions, the Bill does not go the full lengths of the demands of Labour." The attitude of the Labour Party, who threatened to bring intheir own Bill and to insist on its substitution for the Government measure, is symbolized in the cartoon showing Labour offeringhisscales to Justice in preference to her own, in which Capital and Labour are equally balanced, with the comment, "I think you'll findthispair works better—for me." The climbing down of the Government in the autumn session is illustrated in a further cartoon representing Labour as the predominant partner. The Liberal Party is seen on foot being pushed on by a donkey (Labour) drawing a cart in which the Trade Disputes Bill is sitting. "Yes," says the old lady, "I was wrong to threaten him with a whip. The dear creature must be led, not driven. Still—this isn't quite the way I meant to come." Comment inPunch's"Essence of Parliament" on the progress of the Bill is curiously meagre, but there is one illuminating paragraph on the Report Stage: "The Attorney-General explained that when at the earlier stage he argued against the immunity of Trade Unions from action at law, he did not mean to debar himself from subsequently insisting upon the justice of such immunity." The momentous and far-reaching consequences of a measure which created a privileged class and set them above the law were only dimly apprehended inPunch, who confined himself in his further comments to the lack of spirit shown by the Opposition in the Lords. Thus in "The Better Part of Valour" we see the Trade Disputes Bill standing over the prostrate figure of the Education Bill, about to batter its way into the Lords, while Lord Lansdowne remarks: "Ibar your way? My dear fellow! Why, you've got a mandate." "Well, so had my friend here," rejoins the T.D.B., on which Lord Lansdowne replies: "Ah! but not such a big one!" The same idea is developed in the Epilogue, where the Lords are charged by the representative of "The People's Will" with having attacked and brutally ill-treated the Education Bill, while they were too cowardly to tackle the Trade Disputes Bill.

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