Chapter 3

You can take a Pole, as I understand,And play on his nerves with a German Band;But you can't convert his natural temper, orGet him to jig for a German Emperor.

You can take a Pole, as I understand,

And play on his nerves with a German Band;

But you can't convert his natural temper, or

Get him to jig for a German Emperor.

Lord Salisbury had resigned in the summer of 1902, and Mr. Balfour had succeeded to the Premiership. It was not exactly a case of "Amurath to Amurath," but with nephew succeeding to uncle, and the presence of another nephew and a son-in-law in the Cabinet, there was some ground for the once familiar gibes against the "Hotel Cecil."Punchwas not unfriendly to the new Premier, and applauded his handling of the negotiations initiated by Germany to secure a British subsidy to the German-controlled Baghdad railway. In "The Trap that Failed," the British Lion "doesn't like the look of it and resolves to go round the other way"; and the verses (after Omar Khayyám) indicate the surprise of "the Potter of Potsdam" at the unexpected firmness of Mr. Balfour. The gradual improvement of our relations with other foreign Powers is symbolized in "The Chain of Friendship," showing King Edward joining in a dance with France, Italy and Portugal; while the strengthening of the Anglo-FrenchEntenteis illustrated in the cartoon in which King Edward, presenting the British Lion, says to the French President: "See, M. Loubet, he offers you his paw." An element of reserve, however, is shown in a dialogue in French, mildly satirizing the new Anglomania; and in the burlesque sketch foreshadowing the ludicrous and disastrous influence on both countries of theEntente—e.g. the re-introduction of the duel on the initiative of theDaily Mail; the presentation of Waterloo Station to the French and, as a set-off, the presentation of the Keys of Calais to the Lord Mayor ofLondon by the Paris Municipal Council. To turn from gay to grave, this was the year of the assassination of the King and Queen of Serbia, recorded in the cartoon of "Murder as the King Maker."

Ireland, Army Reform, and India

Home politics fill a larger space in 1903 inPunch'spages than for some years previously. Remedial legislation in Ireland inspires the cartoon of Mr. Balfour as St. Patrick—a saint invaluable to the harassed cartoonist—driving out the snakes of sedition. The basis of Mr. Wyndham's Land Purchase Act is well shown in the cartoon illustrating the financial relations of the two countries. Tenant and landlord both present money-boxes labelled "Land Purchase" to John Bull, asking him to "put a thrifle in them"; John Bull scratches his head, but he pays all the same. The difficulties of Mr. Brodrick in securing national support for Army Reform are set forth in the verses on "The Unhappy Warrior" (after Wordsworth), and the cartoon "Ready, aye unready," with John Bull asleep on sentry duty—à proposof the Report of the Royal Commission on the South African war. A little later, John Bull's short memory is satirized in his protest against the size of his new watch-dog. Forgetting that he had clamoured for increase, he now declares that he cannot afford him.

At the opening of the yearPunchhad lavishly chronicled the glories of the Delhi Durbar. "The Pilgrims to the East" included three members of his staff, who did justice to the occasion both with pen and pencil, and Sambourne's fine cartoon, "Vivat Imperator," forms an instructive pendant and palinode toPunch'santi-imperialist misgivings of 1876, when he regarded the assumption of the new title as a piece of shoddy Disraelian Orientalism.

Lord Salisbury's death in 1903 removed a great figure, whose prestige has grown with the knowledge available in later years. We have learned to revise the old view of his political stature as compared with that of Lord Beaconsfield, and to reject the often-quoted but quite erroneous saying attributed to Bismarck that he was "a lath painted to resemble iron."Punch'smemorial tribute admits that he "nothing common did or mean":—

When Lord Salisbury, resigning the Premiership, practically retired from public life, a gap was made in the House of Lords no living man might fill. Only once has he returned to the scene of memorable labour. He came with the rest of the cloaked Peers to pay homage to King Edward the Seventh when first he seated himself on the throne which he had long regarded from the point of view of the Cross Benches. There was hope that the ex-Premier would, from time to time, still give the House and the country the advantage of his sagacious counsel, the pleasure of listening to his brilliant speech. But, like the other tall man in another chair, "his heart was worn with work." He was sick of the sometimes mean rivalry of political life, and felt he had earned his leisure.In a manner unique Lord Salisbury had the faculty of standing apart from his fellow men, regarding them and appraising them as if he himself did not belong to thegenus. It was as if a man from Mars had visited our planet, studying its pygmy population with amused, on the whole scornful interest. With one exception he was the only statesman who never bent the knee to the Baal known in political chatter as The Man in the Street. The exception is, of course, the Duke of Devonshire, who had further kinship with the Marquis in respect of absolute freedom from desire to get anything for himself out of the game of politics. Intellectually and morally—this latter more precious because more rare—Lord Salisbury uplifted and maintained at high level the standard of English public life. He was a man whom foreigners, equally with his own countrymen, unreservedly trusted, because of a personal quality worth the whole armoury of diplomacy.With his withdrawal from the stage, the House of Lords as a debating assembly lost its chief attraction. It was worth sitting through a dreary couple of hours for the chance reward of hearing him speak. Whilst others discoursed he sat impassive, taking no note, making no sign of hearing, or caring about, what the noble lord on his legs said or left unspoken. Only a curious rapid movement of the crossed leg betokened cogitation, betrayed closest attention, and the framing of some sentences that would presently play about the adversary's head like forked lightning.

In a manner unique Lord Salisbury had the faculty of standing apart from his fellow men, regarding them and appraising them as if he himself did not belong to thegenus. It was as if a man from Mars had visited our planet, studying its pygmy population with amused, on the whole scornful interest. With one exception he was the only statesman who never bent the knee to the Baal known in political chatter as The Man in the Street. The exception is, of course, the Duke of Devonshire, who had further kinship with the Marquis in respect of absolute freedom from desire to get anything for himself out of the game of politics. Intellectually and morally—this latter more precious because more rare—Lord Salisbury uplifted and maintained at high level the standard of English public life. He was a man whom foreigners, equally with his own countrymen, unreservedly trusted, because of a personal quality worth the whole armoury of diplomacy.

With his withdrawal from the stage, the House of Lords as a debating assembly lost its chief attraction. It was worth sitting through a dreary couple of hours for the chance reward of hearing him speak. Whilst others discoursed he sat impassive, taking no note, making no sign of hearing, or caring about, what the noble lord on his legs said or left unspoken. Only a curious rapid movement of the crossed leg betokened cogitation, betrayed closest attention, and the framing of some sentences that would presently play about the adversary's head like forked lightning.

The Fiscal Fray

An event of greater immediate interest which coincided with the passing of Lord Salisbury was the resignation of Mr. Chamberlain. On his return from a strenuous and exhausting tour in South Africa, he had thrown himself with immense energy into the Tariff Reform campaign, and withdrew from the Cabinet in order to devote his entire energies to the prosecution of the cause.Punch'spages throughout the second halfof 1903 furnish a lively chronicle of the progress of Mr. Chamberlain's crusade and the wonderful egg-dance of Mr. Balfour. Early in September the situation is portrayed in "The Parting of the Ways." Mr. Balfour, "long troubled by philosophic doubt," is shown on the road with a knapsack labelled "Treasury Returns" and "Board of Trade Returns," looking at a sign-post, one arm pointing to Chatsworth, the other to Highbury, and saying: "Well, now, I suppose I must really make up my mind."

A week later we have the Fiscal Hamlet in "The Unready Reckoner." Prince Arthur remarks: "O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers; I have not the art to reckon," while on the wall hangs a portrait of Mr. Chamberlain as Ophelia. In November, under the heading "An Eye for Effect,"Punchexhibits "Foreign Competition" as a Guy on a barrow, with Mr. Chamberlain in charge and conversing with Mr. Balfour:—

Arthur: "Ain't you made 'im too 'orrible?"Joe: "No fear! Youcan'tmake 'em too 'orrible!"

Simultaneously,Punchpublished a burlesque on theDaily Mail'scanvass, with expressions of opinion from Henry James, Rudyard Kipling and Mr. A. B. Walkley. TheDaily Express, not to be outdone, offered a prize of £25 to the owner of the first parrot taught to speak distinctly the phrase: "Your food will cost you more." The "folly of the fray" was not overlooked, butPunchdid not misread its essential significance in his cartoon of Mr. Chamberlain in the guise of the political Ancient Mariner who had slain the albatross of Conservative unity.

Foreign politics once more dominated the scene in 1904, when the legacy of friction, bequeathed by Russia's intervention at the close of the Chino-Japanese war and her Manchurian policy after the "Boxer" outbreak, bore its inevitable fruit in the Russo-Japanese war. The sympathy of England with Japan is reflected in the pages ofPunch. He rebuked the hissing of Russian performers at a performance in the provinces; but satirized the indignation generally expressed in Russia that Japan should have begun hostilities without a formal declaration,or, asPunchput it, without consulting Russia as to whether the date was convenient to her. The fervent patriotism of the Japanese army is cordially applauded: John Bull is shown in a mood of envy, thinking he must try to introduce it at home. The unfortunate Dogger Bank incident, when Admiral Rozhdestvensky's fleet, on their way out to the Far East, fired on a fleet of British trawlers, aroused great indignation, mixed with bitter satire of Russian nerves and thrasonical satisfaction.Punchpublished a scarifying parody of Campbell's "Battle of the Baltic" on this "famous victory" over a "hostile trawling fleet" engaged in "gutting plaice." Later on in "Admirals All" there is an equally sarcastic comment on the Report of the North Sea Court of Inquiry, at which the Russians were exculpated by an Austrian Admiral. Nor wasPunch'sindignation expressed against Russia alone. The acceptance of Russian orders by British coal exporters is chastised in a cartoon with the legend as under:—

Old King CoalWas a sordid old soul,And a sordid old soul was he:He sold to the Russ,And he didn't care a cuss,And the Baltic fleet crossed the sea.

Old King Coal

Was a sordid old soul,

And a sordid old soul was he:

He sold to the Russ,

And he didn't care a cuss,

And the Baltic fleet crossed the sea.

On the fall of Port Arthur, however,Punchdid not forget to acknowledge the heroism of the defence: here, at least, "the honour of the Russian eagle was untarnished." The war ended in May, 1905, but before its close Russian internal unrest had become menacing and hampered the prosecution of hostilities.Punchread the signs of the times truly in his cartoon of Death as the Czar of all the Russias, with a figure holding a "Petition" lying slain at his feet; and again in his rather cruel verses to "The Little Father":—

THE LITTLE FATHER

Nichol, Nichol, little Czar,How I wonder where you are!You who thought it best to fly,Being so afraid to die.Now the sullen crowds are gone,Now there's nought to fire upon;Sweet your sleigh bells ring afar,Tinkle, tinkle, little Czar.Little Czar, with soul so small,How are you a Czar at all?Yours had been a happier lotIn some peasant's humble cot.Yet to you was given a dayWith a noble part to play,As an Emperor and a Man;When it came—"then Nicky ran."Little Czar, beware the hourWhen the people strikes at Power;Soul and body held in thrall,They are human after all.Thrones that reek of blood and tearsFall before the avenging years.While you watch your sinking star,Tremble, tremble, little Czar!

Nichol, Nichol, little Czar,

How I wonder where you are!

You who thought it best to fly,

Being so afraid to die.

Now the sullen crowds are gone,

Now there's nought to fire upon;

Sweet your sleigh bells ring afar,

Tinkle, tinkle, little Czar.

Little Czar, with soul so small,How are you a Czar at all?Yours had been a happier lotIn some peasant's humble cot.Yet to you was given a dayWith a noble part to play,As an Emperor and a Man;When it came—"then Nicky ran."

Little Czar, with soul so small,

How are you a Czar at all?

Yours had been a happier lot

In some peasant's humble cot.

Yet to you was given a day

With a noble part to play,

As an Emperor and a Man;

When it came—"then Nicky ran."

Little Czar, beware the hourWhen the people strikes at Power;Soul and body held in thrall,They are human after all.Thrones that reek of blood and tearsFall before the avenging years.While you watch your sinking star,Tremble, tremble, little Czar!

Little Czar, beware the hour

When the people strikes at Power;

Soul and body held in thrall,

They are human after all.

Thrones that reek of blood and tears

Fall before the avenging years.

While you watch your sinking star,

Tremble, tremble, little Czar!

Skeletal figure enthroned.THE CZAR OF ALL THE RUSSIAS

THE CZAR OF ALL THE RUSSIAS

The contrasted outlook in Russia and Japan is shown in "Peace and After"—gloom and storm in the one country, general rejoicing in the other. The signing of the Peace in October brought mutiny and insurrection in Russia, repressed for the moment by grape-shot and concessions.Punchdistrusted the former method, and warned the Tsar through the mouth of Louis XVI: "Side with the people, Sire, while there is yet time.Iwas too late." The instalment of constitutional government granted was shorn of its grace by the antecedent display of ruthlessness.Punchtypified this situation in his cartoon of the Tsar armed with a sword and leaning on a cannon, with corpses strewn around, and saying: "Now I think the way is clear for universal suffrage." ButPunchwas premature in saluting the first Duma—opened by the Tsar in person in May, 1906—as the Infant Hercules strangling the twin snakes of Bureaucracy and Despotism. It was the Duma which was strangled by these forces, of which the first was the more potent and malign.

Belgium and Germany

Another foreign monarch who came in for severe criticism in these years was King Leopold II of the Belgians. Quite recently he had been treated byPunchwith a benevolence that bordered on fulsomeness. But 1904 was the year of the "Congo Atrocities," andPunch, in a cartoon modelled on the ancient Egyptian lines, compared him with the Pharaoh Rameses II whose scribes counted over the hands cut from his vanquished enemies. This was suggested by the stories of the similar treatment of the natives in the rubber plantations vouched for by the British Consul at Boma. The value of this evidence has since been impaired by the fact that the Consul in question was none other than Roger Casement. From Belgium to Germany the transition is easy. In the last two years of the Unionist administration, German aggressiveness is a constant theme of comment, mainly inspired by misgiving, occasionally enlivened by burlesque belittlement of scaremongers. To the latter category belongs the forecast, at the close of 1904, of the invasion of London, seized during a week-end exodus of its inhabitants. Nor should we fail to note the series of appreciative articles on life in Berlin in 1905, in which "Tom the Tourist" finds the German capital "one of the liveliest, pleasantest and handsomest of cities," and descants on its good beer, pleasant company, genial hospitality, and the absence of any sign of hatred of the British. The writer even goes so far as to compare the Sieges-Allée favourably with some of the statuary of London. But a different note is struck in the lines on the vicarious patriotism of those who objected to conscription; in the references to the inadequacy of our coast defences; in the satisfaction expressed in the appointment of Sir John Fisher as First Sea Lord, and the improvement in naval gunnery; and in the satire directed against the new German Chancellor, Count von Bülow, for his cynical "blague." As "Der Taubadler," he reproves President Roosevelt for Jingoism, and declares:—

Our passion for ruling the brineIs based on a single and pure design—To serve as a sort of Marine Police,Patrons of Universal Peace.

Our passion for ruling the brine

Is based on a single and pure design—

To serve as a sort of Marine Police,

Patrons of Universal Peace.

Lord Roberts's warning speech at the London Chamber of Commerce in the late summer of 1902 had prompted the cartoon "The Call to Arms." John Bull, aroused from slumber and only half-awake, asks "What's wrong?" Lord Roberts, the warning warder, replies: "You are absolutely unfitted and unprepared for war!" whereon John Bull rejoins drowsily: "Am I? Youdosurprise me," and goes to bed again. Growing distrust of the Kaiser is shown in the cartoon in which he figures as "The Sower of Tares" after Millais's picture, whilePunchsimultaneously manifests his satisfaction at the strengthening of the Anglo-FrenchEntente. The British working man, ifPunchis to be believed, disliked all foreigners, but his pet aversion was "them blooming Germans." There was, at any rate, a legitimate grievance in the fact that fifty-nine foreign pilots were employed on our coasts, whereas abroad our ships were compelled to take native pilots; and the Nelson Centenary on October 21, 1905, impelledPunch, in an address to the hero of Trafalgar, to deplore the decay of national patriotism in a vein of pessimism happily falsified ten years later:—

Much you would have to marvel atCould you return this autumn-tide;You'd find the Fleet—thank God for that—Staunch and alert as when you died;But, elsewhere, few to play your part,Ready at need and ripe for action;The rest—in idle ease of heartSmiling an unctuous satisfaction.I doubt if you could well endureThese new ideals (so changed we are),Undreamed, Horatio, in yourPhilosophy of Trafalgar;And, should you still "expect" to seeThe standard reached which you erected,Nothing just now would seem to beSo certain as the unexpected.

Much you would have to marvel at

Could you return this autumn-tide;

You'd find the Fleet—thank God for that—

Staunch and alert as when you died;

But, elsewhere, few to play your part,

Ready at need and ripe for action;

The rest—in idle ease of heart

Smiling an unctuous satisfaction.

I doubt if you could well endureThese new ideals (so changed we are),Undreamed, Horatio, in yourPhilosophy of Trafalgar;And, should you still "expect" to seeThe standard reached which you erected,Nothing just now would seem to beSo certain as the unexpected.

I doubt if you could well endure

These new ideals (so changed we are),

Undreamed, Horatio, in your

Philosophy of Trafalgar;

And, should you still "expect" to see

The standard reached which you erected,

Nothing just now would seem to be

So certain as the unexpected.

Cartoon, man at foot of ladder speaking to person in windowTHE CALL TO ARMS!John Bull(aroused from slumber and only half awake): "What's wrong?"Lord Roberts(the warning Warder): "You are absolutely unfitted and unprepared for war!"John Bull(drowsily): "Am I? Youdosurprise me!" (Goes to bed again.)(Vide speech by Lord Roberts at meeting of London Chamber of Commerce, Mansion House.)

THE CALL TO ARMS!

John Bull(aroused from slumber and only half awake): "What's wrong?"

Lord Roberts(the warning Warder): "You are absolutely unfitted and unprepared for war!"

John Bull(drowsily): "Am I? Youdosurprise me!" (Goes to bed again.)

(Vide speech by Lord Roberts at meeting of London Chamber of Commerce, Mansion House.)

The "decline and fall" of the Unionist administration are symbolized and explained in two cartoons in the late summer of 1905. In one Mr. Balfour is seen, a lonely swimmer,wallowing in the sea of Public Opinion. A voice from the Tug (Tory Organization) hails him, urging him to keep afloat and he'll "drift in to the shore" (Session 1906). He replies that he "can't do much against a tide like this." The sources of weakness are even better diagnosed in the cartoon of August 30, "Shelved," showing the group of statesmen who had resigned—the Duke of Devonshire, Mr. Ritchie, Lord Balfour of Burleigh, Lord George Hamilton and Mr. George Wyndham.

The rout of the Government at the General Election of 1906 was a veritabledébâcle. Liberal candidates were returned who never got in before or after: there is a story of one so overwhelmed by his wholly unexpected success that he fainted on the declaration of the poll. Ministers went down like ninepins, and on the meeting of the new ParliamentPunchdescants on the disappearance of the "old familiar faces"—Mr. Arthur Balfour and his brother Gerald, Alfred Lyttelton and St. John Brodrick, Bonar Law, Sir John Gorst, Sir Albert Rollit, Sir W. Hart Dyke, Gibson Bowles, and, "saddest fate of all and most lamented," Mr. Henry Chaplin. The emergence of a new, formidable, but uncertain factor was at once recognized in the cartoon in which John Bull looks over the wall at a bull labelled Labour Vote. The Trade Disputes Bill, the first and most notable concession to the demands of Trade Unionism, is discussed in the next section.

Cartoon, Sea monster with Kaiser's headAN UNDER-RATED MONSTERBritannia: "That's a nasty-looking object, Mr. Boatman!"Lord Tw-dm-th: "Bless your 'eart, mum, 'e won't 'urt you. I've been here, man an' boy, for the last six months, an' we don't take no account o' them things!"

AN UNDER-RATED MONSTER

Britannia: "That's a nasty-looking object, Mr. Boatman!"

Lord Tw-dm-th: "Bless your 'eart, mum, 'e won't 'urt you. I've been here, man an' boy, for the last six months, an' we don't take no account o' them things!"

Punchwas more preoccupied with Lord Haldane's new army scheme, and when the War Minister, in introducing it, declared that the country would not be "dragooned into conscription," interpreted his statement "in other and less conventional terms" as indicating a conviction that "it is the inalienable right of the free-born British citizen to decline to lift a finger in his country's defence." Lord Haldane's proposals for retrenchment are symbolized in his efforts to make big toy soldiers fit his box, instead of making the box fit the soldiers. Wasters and loafers who had cheered "Bobs" on his return from South Africa are shown expressing indignation at his wanting to enforce universal military service.Punch'sreluctant admission of our national lethargy finds vent in adialogue emphasizing the predominance of thePanem et Circensesspirit—devotion to the Big Loaf and spectacular games—coupled with a loss of our supremacy in games. The pageant mania became acute in 1907, whenPunchsatirically asks, "Can you cite any other country where it is impossible to walk out of doors without colliding with an historical pageant?"

Lord Haldane's visit to Germany in 1906 is burlesqued in a diary professing to reveal his paramount interest in German philosophy and literature; and a picture, in which he appears in aPickelhaube, expresses the misgivings of two British soldiers who had overheard him "talking to himself in German—something horrible." This attitude of critical distrust is maintained throughout the next four years. In March, 1908, the new gun designed for the Territorial Force prompts a dialogue between the War Minister and Field-MarshalPunch:—

Mr. Haldane: "In the event of invasion, I shall depend upon my brave Territorial force to manipulate this magnificent and complicated weapon."F.-M.Punch: "Going to give them any training?"Mr. H.: "Oh, perhaps a fortnight or so a year."F.-M.Punch: "Ah! Then they'll need to be pretty brave, won't they?"

Mr. Haldane: "In the event of invasion, I shall depend upon my brave Territorial force to manipulate this magnificent and complicated weapon."

F.-M.Punch: "Going to give them any training?"

Mr. H.: "Oh, perhaps a fortnight or so a year."

F.-M.Punch: "Ah! Then they'll need to be pretty brave, won't they?"

Further satire is expended in August of the same year on "A Skeleton Army; or, The Charge of the Very Light Brigade":—

Haldane(at Cavalry Manoeuvres): "You see those three men? Well, they're pretending to be one hundred. Isn't that imaginative?"Mr.Punch: "Realistic, you mean. That's about what it will come to with us in real warfare."

Haldane(at Cavalry Manoeuvres): "You see those three men? Well, they're pretending to be one hundred. Isn't that imaginative?"

Mr.Punch: "Realistic, you mean. That's about what it will come to with us in real warfare."

Grant of automony to Transvaal.HISTORY DEFEATS ITSELFShade of Paul Krüger: "What! BothaPremier? Well, these Englishdo'stagger humanity'!"

HISTORY DEFEATS ITSELF

Shade of Paul Krüger: "What! BothaPremier? Well, these Englishdo'stagger humanity'!"

Punchwas not happy about our Navy either, and in 1906 he had rallied Lord Tweedmouth, then at the Admiralty, for reassuring Britannia against the German menace. It was no use to say, "We don't take no account of them things"; the monster was there, and could not be belittled. By the end of the year, however,Punch'scomplacency was restored by the advancein our naval gunnery, and Britannia is seen proudly showing the impressive tabulated results of our big gun practice. The Germans are the only modern people who have a single word to express delight in the misfortunes of others—Schadenfreude. It is not a noble sentiment, but a suspicion of it mingles withPunch'scomments on Germany's internal troubles. In 1878 he had shown Bismarck squeezing down the Socialist Jack-in-the-Box, and nearly thirty years later repeats the formula at the expense of Count von Bülow; but the Socialist Jack-in-the-Box was now a much more formidable figure: it was "a bigger task for a smaller man."

The twenty-fifth anniversary of the Triple Alliance fell in 1907, andPunchindicated that Italy's allegiance was already wearing thin. In performing the trio "We are a happy Family," Austria's "We are" is markedpiano, and that of Italydubioso.

In the domain of high politics, Imperial and International, 1907 was marked by two notable events. The grant of autonomy to the Transvaal undoubtedly contained an element of risk, but the sequel showed that magnanimity was the best policy. General Botha's Premiership proved a symbol of reconciliation destined in time to bear "rare and refreshing fruit," andPunchwas fairly entitled to invoke the reluctant testimony of Krüger's shade: "What! BothaPremier? Well, these Englishdo'stagger humanity'!" Secondly, there was the Hague Conference, over whichPunchmaintained his attitude of scepticism, on the ground that each Power was unwilling to lead the way in disarmament. In his cartoon of the various nations at the door of the Conference everybody says, "After you, Sir," to everybody else. The Government's extensive programme of legislation for the following session is shown in the picture of "C.-B." at the piano accompanying the Infant Prodigy, 1908. The programme includes the "Twilight of the Lords," "Etudes Pacifiques"; "Danse anti-Bacchanale" and "Irish Rhapsody" with Campobello, McKenna, Asquith and Birrell as soloists. The campaign against the Lords, opened at Edinburgh by "C.-B." in October, 1907, suggested the cartoon of the "Fiery Cross" with the Premier as a kilted warriorshouting, "Doon wi' the Lords!" while the accompanying verses, in the ballad manner of Scott, describe the passing on of the fiery cross by Lord Crewe, John Morley, Mr. Sinclair (now Lord Pentland), Lord Tweedmouth, Mr. Runciman, and "Lloyd McGeorge."

Naval Misgivings

The mention of Lord Tweedmouth reminds one that the question of our naval supremacy had entered on a new phase. AsPunchput it in his "Charivaria" in November, 1907, "There seems to be a difference of opinion between the Prince of Wales and Sir John Fisher. Some little time ago His Royal Highness, speaking at the Guildhall, cried: 'Wake up, England!' Sir John, speaking in the same place, has now issued the advice: 'Sleep quietly in your beds.'"

In the spring of 1908 occurred the awkward incident of the Kaiser's letter to Lord Tweedmouth on Naval Retrenchment.Punch, in his "Essence of Parliament," benevolently minimizes the First Lord's indiscretion, which, along with other causes, led to his withdrawal from the Admiralty; at the same time there appeared some highly ironical reflections on the attitude of the advocates of the Two-Power-Standard. In an ingenious adaptation of Tennyson's ballad of "The Revenge," Sir Thomas Howard refuses to fight because he is one ship short of the Two-Power-Standard.

In early Victorian days the Duke of Wellington was commonly alluded to as "the Duke"par excellence. In the opening years of the present century, in political circles at any rate, when people spoke of "the Duke" they always meant the Duke of Devonshire, and for reasons which are tersely and correctly given inPunch'sbrief memorial verses when he died in March, 1908:—

If to have held his way with steadfast will,Unspoiled of Fortune, deaf to praise or blame,Asking no favour but to follow stillThe patriot's single aim:—If, in contempt of other pride of race,By honesty that chose the nobler part,Careless of fame's reward, to win a placeNear to the common heart:—If these be virtues large, heroic, rare,Then is it well with him, the dead, to-day,Who leaves a public record clean and fair,That Time shall not gainsay.

If to have held his way with steadfast will,Unspoiled of Fortune, deaf to praise or blame,Asking no favour but to follow stillThe patriot's single aim:—

If to have held his way with steadfast will,

Unspoiled of Fortune, deaf to praise or blame,

Asking no favour but to follow still

The patriot's single aim:—

If, in contempt of other pride of race,By honesty that chose the nobler part,Careless of fame's reward, to win a placeNear to the common heart:—

If, in contempt of other pride of race,

By honesty that chose the nobler part,

Careless of fame's reward, to win a place

Near to the common heart:—

If these be virtues large, heroic, rare,Then is it well with him, the dead, to-day,Who leaves a public record clean and fair,That Time shall not gainsay.

If these be virtues large, heroic, rare,

Then is it well with him, the dead, to-day,

Who leaves a public record clean and fair,

That Time shall not gainsay.

The tribute is one which, we think, would have appealed to the dead statesman, a man of few words, but who in the words of another Duke, the Duke of Argyll, was "firm as the rock, and clear as the crystal that adorns the rock."

A few weeks later Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, broken in health, resigned the Premiership, dying so soon afterwards that he virtually died in harness.Punchdid not overstate things in describing his death as "a common grief" to Liberals and Unionists, for he had outlived the obloquy of party bitterness and revealed as Premier qualities which his successor, Mr. Asquith, fittingly described when he spoke of him as "our revered and trusted chief." By a strange and happy irony of fate, the statesman who had opposed the Boer war was responsible for the policy of reconciliation which might have been much harder if that war had not been waged.

Germany loomed large on the political horizon in 1908. This was the year of Mr. Lloyd George's visit to inquire into the working of the scheme of national insurance, a visit whichPunchtreated with undisguised irony as a belated afterthought. It was also the year of the Kaiser's famous interview, published in theDaily Telegraph, in which he claimed credit for magnanimity to England during the Boer war, with the result of annoying his Chancellor and having to consent to a revision of his conception of the Imperial prerogative.Punch'sopen letter to "The Great Misunderstood" exhibits considerable scepticism of his friendliness, and a set of verses, in the same spirit, are inspired by the activities of the German Women's Navy League. An English M.P. had been exhibiting a toy model of a German gunboat used by this organization as a collecting box, and it was alleged that these toys were handed about in German schools with the request: "Give us your pence, so that we can thrash the English."

The Kaiser's Soliloquy

The Kaiser's fiftieth birthday is commemorated in a "Soliloquy in Berlin," in which the Emperor boasts of havingswept aside Bismarck and repressed the "too clamorous people" by police, prison or exile, and defends his impulsive loquacity against his critics. The King must know best, and "while all the discontented loose their tongues and rave against him, shall the King be still?" Moreover, he claims to have kept the world from war:—

And I have kept the peace. Was that well done?I know not, but I know I kept the peace,I, whose blood boiled to hear the clash of swords,At whose command a million men would springObedient to the conflict; I, whose soulwas made for glorious battle, who could leadTen thousand thundering horsemen to the charge,Have kept the peace, while others urged to war.

And I have kept the peace. Was that well done?

I know not, but I know I kept the peace,

I, whose blood boiled to hear the clash of swords,

At whose command a million men would spring

Obedient to the conflict; I, whose soul

was made for glorious battle, who could lead

Ten thousand thundering horsemen to the charge,

Have kept the peace, while others urged to war.

Golfer carrying clubs."MUMMY, WHAT'S THAT MAN FOR?"

"MUMMY, WHAT'S THAT MAN FOR?"

SimultaneouslyPunchillustrates the growing patriotic fervour at home. Golfers are becoming shy of being detected on their way to or from the links by men in uniform. AndPunchpraisesAn Englishman's Homeas a "wonderful play," in which the case for national service is presented "with rare tact, and void of offence even to the most violent anti-militarist." Indeed, he goes so far as to admit that the author's advocacy is impaired by his making the vulgar cheerful young "slacker" delightfully human, while the good young patriot is too stagey and talkative. German aggressiveness is illustrated in the cartoon showing the German sailor adopting our "Jingo" song, the copyright having expired. Editorially, though obliquely,Punchdeplores the subservience of vital questions of foreign policy to party questions, and gives special praise to Sir Edward Grey. "Prenderby," who impersonates a detached view, pleads for a Coalition Cabinet—a Ministry of all the patriots. In the spring of 1909 Mr. Asquith figures as the Night Watchman who cries "All's well," but John Bull from his window replies: "So you say. All the same, I shall sit up for a bit." This was the time of the cry for moreDreadnoughts: "We want Eight and we won't wait." The vote of censure on the Government for their inadequate naval preparations was rejected by 353 votes to 135, andPunchsatirized the Labour Party's idea of battleships in a pictorial representation of H.M.S.Inoffensive,Innocuous, etc. It is curious to find in another ofPunch'seditorial dialogues one of the speakers constantly harping on what might happen in 1914 whenDreadnoughtswould be obsolete; while the happy-go-lucky attitude of the average subaltern towards a possible war is expressed in the wish attributed to one of them: "Let's hope it will come between the polo and the huntin'." Lord Roberts's National Service Bill was thrown out in the Lords in July by a narrow majority.Punch'sartist is most frankly honorific to Lord Roberts; but the summary of the debate given by his Parliamentary representative is not even non-committal, for it contrives to disparage Lord Milner while emphasizing the opposition of the Duke of Northumberland and the caution of Lord Lansdowne.

Mr. Birrell as Chief Secretary

At the close of the year the impenitence of the Belgian administrators of the Congo is held up to execration in the cartoon of the slave-driver outside the European Hall of Deliberation, armed with a whip, and saying, "I'm all right.They're still talking"; while a naked slave lies helpless and prostrate in the foreground.

After a brief and ineffectual tenure of office at the Board of Education, Mr. Birrell had, whether out of heroic self-sacrifice or ignorance, accepted the most thankless and arduous of all portfolios—that of the Irish Chief Secretaryship. For the sequel, one has to turn to the Report of the Hardinge Committee of Inquiry into the Dublin revolution of Easter, 1916—one of the most lacerating public documents ever devoted to the dissection of Ministerial incompetence. But in 1909 there was, no doubt, much that appealed toPunchin the notion of setting a professional humorist to govern a quick-witted people. There never was a greater mistake. Much was and is forgiven to a Minister who amuses the House, but the legacy of hatred, faithfully cherished by those who forgot nothing but benefits received, was not to be cancelled by epigrams which provoked the facile laughter of St. Stephen's. There was, however, a probably quite unintended though extra appropriateness in the title of the verses to him as "The Right Man in the Wrong Place," for the chief ground of complaint against the Chief Secretary was that he was conspicuous by his absence from Ireland at all critical moments, and eclipsed the "Absentee landlords" at their own game. In 1909Punchcontented himself with showing Mr. Birrell as a Lecturer on Old Age Pensions as a means of allaying discontent, and reducing the method to absurdity. The boon was naturally popular, since, asPunchnoted on good authority, it had been claimed and received by more than 50,000 people not qualified under the Act.

Cartoon, three witches.THE CONSTITUTION IN THE MELTING POTThe Three Witches: "Double, double, toil and trouble!"Macbeth, actIV, scene 1.

THE CONSTITUTION IN THE MELTING POT

The Three Witches: "Double, double, toil and trouble!"

Macbeth, actIV, scene 1.

Wait and See

In 1910 two general elections, fought on questions of internal policy, and the conflict over the Parliament Bill diverted attention from foreign politics. Lord Rosebery's scheme for the reform of the Upper Chamber is treated in light-hearted fashion in the cartoon of the Selection Committee of the Peers' Royal Academy. Lord Curzon and Lord Lansdowne criticize Lord Rosebery's "problem picture": Lord Halsbury bluntly ejaculates, "Take it away."Punch, however, recognized the serious intentions of the Government in "The Constitution in the Melting Pot," where Mr. Winston Churchill, Mr. Asquith andMr. Lloyd George are the three witches bending over the cauldron. The Unionists had gained some ground in the January elections, but not nearly enough; in December, when party feeling ran much higher, they failed to improve their position, in spite of the offer of a Referendum to determine the question of Tariff Reform, and of their insistent warnings as to the danger of single-chamber Government.Punch, with some reserves, was decidedly opposed to the Government programme, and a hostile critic alike of the platform exuberance of Mr. Lloyd George and the "wait and see" policy of Mr. Asquith:—

Schemes are shattered, plots are changed,Plans arranged and re-arranged!Words are eaten; every dayBroken pledges thrown away;Here the riddle—where the key?Wait and see!Does his wandering course revealOnly love of Britain's weal?Does he toil through heavy sandSeeking how to keep his landClean and prosperous and free?Wait and see!Is it that he turns his eyesTo a goal that needs disguise?Just a paltry party score,Checked by some about him, more—More particular than he?Wait and see!Is he one whose wavering mindLightly veers to every wind,Hither pitched and thither tossed,While the country pays the costOf his flaccid vertebræ?Wait and see!Be it not that he has soldAll the faith that men should holdSacred; that he walks his ways,Flogged by those whom he obeys,At whose word he bows the knee—Wait and see!Wait and see, and wait again:But the country waits in vain.Waits for order—finding none;Sees but duty left undone.

Schemes are shattered, plots are changed,Plans arranged and re-arranged!Words are eaten; every dayBroken pledges thrown away;Here the riddle—where the key?Wait and see!

Schemes are shattered, plots are changed,

Plans arranged and re-arranged!

Words are eaten; every day

Broken pledges thrown away;

Here the riddle—where the key?

Wait and see!

Does his wandering course revealOnly love of Britain's weal?Does he toil through heavy sandSeeking how to keep his landClean and prosperous and free?Wait and see!

Does his wandering course reveal

Only love of Britain's weal?

Does he toil through heavy sand

Seeking how to keep his land

Clean and prosperous and free?

Wait and see!

Is it that he turns his eyesTo a goal that needs disguise?Just a paltry party score,Checked by some about him, more—More particular than he?Wait and see!

Is it that he turns his eyes

To a goal that needs disguise?

Just a paltry party score,

Checked by some about him, more—

More particular than he?

Wait and see!

Is he one whose wavering mindLightly veers to every wind,Hither pitched and thither tossed,While the country pays the costOf his flaccid vertebræ?Wait and see!

Is he one whose wavering mind

Lightly veers to every wind,

Hither pitched and thither tossed,

While the country pays the cost

Of his flaccid vertebræ?

Wait and see!

Be it not that he has soldAll the faith that men should holdSacred; that he walks his ways,Flogged by those whom he obeys,At whose word he bows the knee—Wait and see!

Be it not that he has sold

All the faith that men should hold

Sacred; that he walks his ways,

Flogged by those whom he obeys,

At whose word he bows the knee—

Wait and see!

Wait and see, and wait again:But the country waits in vain.Waits for order—finding none;Sees but duty left undone.

Wait and see, and wait again:

But the country waits in vain.

Waits for order—finding none;

Sees but duty left undone.

What will Britain's verdict be?Wait and see!

What will Britain's verdict be?

Wait and see!

Asquith speaking to Lloyd George.THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIMEOur Mr. Asquith: "Five hundred coronets, dirt cheap! This line of goods ought to make business a bit brisker, what?"Our Mr. Lloyd George: "Not half; bound to go like hot cakes."

THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME

Our Mr. Asquith: "Five hundred coronets, dirt cheap! This line of goods ought to make business a bit brisker, what?"

Our Mr. Lloyd George: "Not half; bound to go like hot cakes."

Cartoon."I SPY!"Both(together): "Peep-bo! I see you!"

"I SPY!"

Both(together): "Peep-bo! I see you!"

John Bull in kilt with bagpipes.THE NEW JOHN BULLAfter the proposed "Federalization" of the British Isles.

THE NEW JOHN BULL

After the proposed "Federalization" of the British Isles.

The proposed "federalization" of the British Isles is burlesqued in the figure of John Bull, looking very much ashamed of himself, arrayed in top-boots, with a kilt, a shamrock-sprigged waistcoat, a Welsh steeple-crowned hat, and a shillelagh. The "People's Budget" is disparaged in a picture showing the general apathy of those whom it was intended to benefit. And as for the threatened creation of 500 Liberal Peers to outvote the recalcitrant "backwoodsmen,"Punchsatirized the plan as a mere piece of window-dressing. In "The Chance of a Lifetime" Mr. Asquith is seen arraying his shop-front with 500 coronets "dirt cheap," Mr. Lloyd George as his assistant handing up the hat-boxes with the comment, "Bound to go like hot cakes."

Death of King Edward

Perhaps the shrewdest comment on international politics made byPunchin this year is to be found in his "Charivaria" column for November 9:—

Sir Edward Grey declared at Darlington that he saw no need for war. Unfortunately, however, this is a great age for luxuries.

HerePunchadded a gloss to a wise truism. A remark in the Isle of ManWeekly Timesat the beginning of the year touched the nadir of sordid parochialism. Discussing the "inevitableness" of a war with Germany, the writer observed: "It would mean the ruination of the Island. It would kill all chances of a successful season, upon which the Island depends."Punch"lifted" the quotation, but here the text beggared any comment.

By the assassination of the King and Crown Prince of Portugal in the autumn, monarchy was ended in the country of our "Oldest Ally."Punchdenounced murder whether as the maker or unmaker of kings; and on this occasion added to his condolences with the survivors a caustic reference to France, who is shown briefly congratulating Portugal on becoming a Republic; but she is "too busy to talk, having just escaped another revolution at home"—an allusion to the railway strike and its suppression by the drastic measures of M. Briand's Ministry. The death of King Edward in May, at the height of his popularity and prestige, was happily unattended by violence or upheaval, and left the position of the Crown unshaken.Punchwas not one of those who regarded King Edward as the initiator of our foreign policy, but gratefully acknowledged his services in smoothing the path of his Ministers:—

At midnight came the Majesty of Death—Kings of the earth abide this King's decree—Sudden, and kindlier so, to seal the breathAnd set the spirit free.And now the Peace he held most near his heart,That Peace to which his country's steps he led—So well for us he played his royal part—Broods o'er him lying dead.

At midnight came the Majesty of Death—Kings of the earth abide this King's decree—Sudden, and kindlier so, to seal the breathAnd set the spirit free.

At midnight came the Majesty of Death—

Kings of the earth abide this King's decree—

Sudden, and kindlier so, to seal the breath

And set the spirit free.

And now the Peace he held most near his heart,That Peace to which his country's steps he led—So well for us he played his royal part—Broods o'er him lying dead.

And now the Peace he held most near his heart,

That Peace to which his country's steps he led—

So well for us he played his royal part—

Broods o'er him lying dead.

Prince, sitting at ease.TOWARDS THE RAPPROCHEMENTCrown Prince of Germany(in India, writing home): "Dear Papa, I am doing myself proud. These English aren't half bad fellows when you get to know them."

TOWARDS THE RAPPROCHEMENT

Crown Prince of Germany(in India, writing home): "Dear Papa, I am doing myself proud. These English aren't half bad fellows when you get to know them."

Back to Index Next