M.P. tlking to his wife.PALS BEFORE PARTYM.P.'s Wife: "I say, Archie, it's a shame to abuse poor Roddy as you did in your speech last night. After all, he's your best pal, although heison the other side."M.P.: "My dear girl, that's nothing to what he's going to say about me to-morrow. He's shown me his speech, and I'm jotting down a few additional epithets for him to stick in."
PALS BEFORE PARTY
M.P.'s Wife: "I say, Archie, it's a shame to abuse poor Roddy as you did in your speech last night. After all, he's your best pal, although heison the other side."
M.P.: "My dear girl, that's nothing to what he's going to say about me to-morrow. He's shown me his speech, and I'm jotting down a few additional epithets for him to stick in."
Though manners were in a state of flux, etiquette stillsurvived. The orthodox horror felt by the smart man about town at anyone of his own class carrying a parcel in the streets was, ifPunchis to be believed, still prevalent in 1908; the characteristic British avoidance of sentiment is illustrated a year later in the salutation, "Hallo! old man. How are you, and how are your people, and all that sort of silly rot?" Characteristic, again, of British understatement is the reply of a V.C. to the question, "Say, how did you get that el'gant little cross?" put to him by a fair American: "Oh, I dunno. Pullin' some silly rotter out of a hole." The change that had come over the relations between Society and professional actors, musicians and authors is shown in the picture of the long-haired genius who remarks, "And is this the first time you've met me, Duchess?" The Duchess is reduced to speechlessness,and takes refuge in a petrifying stare. That was in 1908, and the picture forms a good pendant to the affable Duchess of Du Maurier, who in a similar position had remarked: "You must really get someone to introduce you to me." Writing on the necessary attributes of a Lion of the Season in 1899,Punchplaced an interesting personality first: literary lions were no longer popular, as most people now wrote books. Pursuing the inquiry farther, he gives special preference to travellers and athletes:—
Social Lions
Q.Then what is the best mode of becoming a Lion?A.By discovering a new continent or suffering imprisonment amongst cannibals for five or six years.Q.And what is the reward of such a time of misery?A.A fortnight'sfêtingin Belgravia and Mayfair.Q.Is this sufficient?A.More than enough. The fawning of Society begins to pall after a week's experience of its cloying sweetness.Q.Is there any celebrity other than literary or exploratory capable of securing the attention of Mrs. Leo Hunter and her colleagues?A.Prowess in the cricket field is a recognized path to social success.Q.And has not an amateur cricketer an advantage over other competitors for fashionable fame?A.Yes; he can claim his days for matches and his nights for rest.Q.From the tone of your last answer it would seem that you do not consider the lot of a Society Lion a happy one?A.You are right; but thefêtedone has the satisfaction of knowing that the fevered notoriety of a brief season is usually followed by the restful obscurity of a long lifetime.
Q.Then what is the best mode of becoming a Lion?
A.By discovering a new continent or suffering imprisonment amongst cannibals for five or six years.
Q.And what is the reward of such a time of misery?
A.A fortnight'sfêtingin Belgravia and Mayfair.
Q.Is this sufficient?
A.More than enough. The fawning of Society begins to pall after a week's experience of its cloying sweetness.
Q.Is there any celebrity other than literary or exploratory capable of securing the attention of Mrs. Leo Hunter and her colleagues?
A.Prowess in the cricket field is a recognized path to social success.
Q.And has not an amateur cricketer an advantage over other competitors for fashionable fame?
A.Yes; he can claim his days for matches and his nights for rest.
Q.From the tone of your last answer it would seem that you do not consider the lot of a Society Lion a happy one?
A.You are right; but thefêtedone has the satisfaction of knowing that the fevered notoriety of a brief season is usually followed by the restful obscurity of a long lifetime.
It is enough, by way of explanation, to add that whenPunchwrote, the names of Mr. Walter Savage Landor and M. de Rougemont were on every lip. Fifteen years later, actors, boxers and, above all, dancers, male and female, were the favourite quarry of social lion-hunters. There was nothing very new about this tendency: it was as old as ancient Athens and had its roots in the everlasting human love of variety, in the desire at all costs to escape from dullness and routine. In 1909 a girl at Bristol who attempted to commit suicide receivedeighteen offers of marriage, and theDaily Chroniclereported that Mme. Steinheil, on the mere suspicion of having murdered her husband, was receiving similar proposals every day. This was at a time when, according to the same journal, there were thousands of young women in Bristol with certificates of competency as teachers, wives, and scholars, many of whom could not find husbands.Punchenlarges on this theme with philosophical irony. Security and respectability were apt to be dreary and monotonous, and it must at least be lively to be married to a poisoner.
Turning back to the minor etiquette of Mode, we note that by 1903 evening dress was no longer insisted on in the more expensive seats at the theatres, though in 1906 theLancetwas alleged to have recommended evening dress as indicative of "tone" and conducive to hygiene.Punchhad long before declaimed against the tyranny of paying "calls." In 1907 he alludes to the practice as obsolete, and suggests that ladies, instead of having "At Home" days, should be out on certain days, so as to give their friends a safe opportunity for leaving cards.
Punchhad for many years ceased from criticizing the manners of medical students, which occupied so much of his attention fifty years earlier; the most serious of his comments on professional manners were excited by "ragging" amongst officers in the Army. The protest, which he printed in 1896, purported to come from the ranks, and is based on the assumption that leadership was impaired when officers forgot to be gentlemen. At the Universities,Punchwas evidently concerned by the multiplication of prigs. Early in the new century Balliol was, as usual, singled out as the principal hot-bed for the propagation of this type, butPunchpaid that college a remarkable if reluctant tribute. He enumerated all the different species of undergraduates to be found there; keen laborious Scots, Ruskinite road-builders, and converts to Buddhist, Gnostic and Agnostic theories; but admitted that if Balliol contained all the cranks, it also contained the coming men—the men who would count. That curious Balliol product which emerged about this time, the "intellectual 'blood,'" seems tohave escapedPunch'snotice. At the end of the last century he notes the invasion of schools by the bicycle, and speculates fantastically on its results. As a matter of fact, bikes were afterwards largely proscribed in public and private schools, and the ban has not even yet been wholly removed.
Two men talking.ON THE RHINEFirst Tourist: "Care to use these glasses?"Second Tourist: "No, thanks. Seen it all on the cinema 't 'ome!"
ON THE RHINE
First Tourist: "Care to use these glasses?"
Second Tourist: "No, thanks. Seen it all on the cinema 't 'ome!"
An Appeal to Santa Claus
Fashion has many phases; and children's Christmas presents reflect the popular tastes of the moment. In 1908Punchprinted the appeal of a little girl to Santa Claus to help her to avoid getting as many as possible of the same presents. This last Christmas it had been "perfectly absurd"—an endless iteration ofPeter Panstory books, Golliwogs and copies ofAlice in Wonderland, illustrated by Rackham and other artists. The sacrilegious attempt to supersede Tenniel's classical designs naturally met with no sympathy fromPunch, and, what is more to the point, did not prove a success.
Not a few ofPunch'sold social butts and pet aversions disappear at the end of the century—including the old "'Arry." One of 'Arry's last efforts was to rejoice over the defeat of women at Oxford, and another was to describe how he was teaching his "best girl" how to pedal. The "Twelve Laboursof 'Arry," as depicted by Phil May in the Almanack for 1896, in which he is seen on the rink, the river, hunting, shooting, driving tandem, boxing, playing cricket, golfing, bicycling, etc., introduce a new type indistinguishable from the "new rich" in dress and deportment. The new type of tourist depicted in 1912 lacks the exuberance of the old, and hisnil admirariattitude is attributed to the "educative" influence of the "pictures."
[7]The author of this much-quoted phrase was said to have been an Eton boy, but I have been unable to trace his name or subsequent career.
[7]The author of this much-quoted phrase was said to have been an Eton boy, but I have been unable to trace his name or subsequent career.
From the very earliest times the evolution of dress has been governed by two contending principles—Protection and Decoration; and the student of "primitive culture" will find these principles asserting themselves even in our own highly sophisticated times. One need not be an expert in psycho-analysis to trace in modern fashions the survival of the primitive instinct of decoration or the conflict between the irrational and the rational selves which is writ large in the annals of Mode. Profoundly conscious of my own incompetence to deal adequately with this fascinating and momentous subject, I nevertheless venture to submit that Laxity is the outstanding feature or "note" of the period now under review. It is an ambiguous term, but none the less suitable on that account, for laxity in its original sense implies a looseness which conduces to comfort, while, in its later and ethical use, it stands for irregularity, extravagance and eccentricity. Both meanings are richly exemplified in the fashions which prevailed in the years 1892-1914; but it must be admitted that, on the score of a wise laxity, man was more "rational" than woman in endeavouring to reconcile the claims of comfort and adornment. Women's dress is far more various, interesting, amusing and even exciting, but on the principle that one should keep one's cake for the end, I prefer to begin with the mere bread-and-butter of male costume.Punch, as my readers may remember, had in his earlier days inveighed against the rigidity and discomfort of men's dress, the tyranny of the top-hat and the strangulation of tight-fitting collars. In middle age, we find him more of a stickler for propriety of costume. Thus in 1893 he describes, with affected amazement, the strange garb adopted by fashionable young men for their morning exercise in the Park between nine and eleven—a straw hat worn on the back of the head, an unbuttoned coat, no waistcoat and flanneltrousers. Simultaneously one of his artists depicts the strange and casual attire of M.P.s in the House of Commons in August—tweeds and knickerbockers, sombreros, caps, and even blazers. Yet, with an inconsistency which did credit to his humane instincts,Punch, at the close of the same year, assails the high stiff collar worn by young men of fashion and refrains, in 1894, from any serious comment on an article in theScotsmanon the laxity of costume characteristic of modern Oxford. "Straw hats and brown boots appear to abound everywhere," while "bowlers" were gradually discarded. When the centenary of the top-hat arrived in 1897,Punchsuggested that its abolition would be a suitable way of celebrating the year of Jubilee. But the "top-hat" had its defenders as well as detractors, and the "pros" and "cons" of the correspondence inThe Timesare admirably summed up inPunch'sarticle:—
It would be advisable, or inadvisable, as the case may be, to abolish It in the Jubilee Year.Because all the scarecrows in the country are already fitted.Because It is the hall-mark of human dignity, and, combined with a smile, is sufficient by Itself, without any other costume, to stamp the wearer as one of Nature's Noblemen, whether he be a Missing Link or a King of the Cannibal Islands.Because It is indispensable, as part of the stock-in-trade of conjurers, for the production of live rabbits, pots of flowers, interminable knotted handkerchiefs, and other useful and necessary articles.Because no Harrow boy is happy till he gets It.Because It is a decided protection in a street fight, or when you fall out hunting or coming home late from the Club.Because It only needs to be carefully sat on to make an excellent and noiseless substitute for the concertina.Because no self-respecting Guy, Bridegroom, or 'Bus-driver is ever seen without one.Because It is a very effective counterpart of the Matinée hat at Lord's, and similar gatherings.Because, to be at all in the fashion, and to look decently dressed, you require a fresh one every day. This is good for the trade.Because It stimulates the manufacture of umbrellas, eye-glasses, hansom-cabs, frock-coats, hair-restorers, and forcible language.Because no one has yet ventured to wear It on the all-prevalent bicycle.Because no statue has ever had the face to sport It, with very few deplorable exceptions.Because It is really the most becoming headgear hitherto devised.Because It is really the most unbecoming headgear hitherto devised.Because, after a hundred years, it is time we had a change.Because, when a thing has been running for a century, it is a pity to abolish It.Because, if It is abolished, the custom of raising It to ladies will perish as well, and there will follow the Extinction of Manners for Men, the Decadence of Church Parade, the General Cutting of Acquaintances, the re-introduction of Thumb-biting, Nose-pulling, Duelling, and Civil War, the disappearance of Great Britain as a first-class Power, the establishment of a Reign of Terror, and much inconvenience.Because I have recently purchased an Extra Special Loyal and Up-to-Date Jubilee Tile, which I hope to wave, throw up, and generally smash and sacrifice on the Great Occasion.But that is not another story.
It would be advisable, or inadvisable, as the case may be, to abolish It in the Jubilee Year.
Because all the scarecrows in the country are already fitted.
Because It is the hall-mark of human dignity, and, combined with a smile, is sufficient by Itself, without any other costume, to stamp the wearer as one of Nature's Noblemen, whether he be a Missing Link or a King of the Cannibal Islands.
Because It is indispensable, as part of the stock-in-trade of conjurers, for the production of live rabbits, pots of flowers, interminable knotted handkerchiefs, and other useful and necessary articles.
Because no Harrow boy is happy till he gets It.
Because It is a decided protection in a street fight, or when you fall out hunting or coming home late from the Club.
Because It only needs to be carefully sat on to make an excellent and noiseless substitute for the concertina.
Because no self-respecting Guy, Bridegroom, or 'Bus-driver is ever seen without one.
Because It is a very effective counterpart of the Matinée hat at Lord's, and similar gatherings.
Because, to be at all in the fashion, and to look decently dressed, you require a fresh one every day. This is good for the trade.
Because It stimulates the manufacture of umbrellas, eye-glasses, hansom-cabs, frock-coats, hair-restorers, and forcible language.
Because no one has yet ventured to wear It on the all-prevalent bicycle.
Because no statue has ever had the face to sport It, with very few deplorable exceptions.
Because It is really the most becoming headgear hitherto devised.
Because It is really the most unbecoming headgear hitherto devised.
Because, after a hundred years, it is time we had a change.
Because, when a thing has been running for a century, it is a pity to abolish It.
Because, if It is abolished, the custom of raising It to ladies will perish as well, and there will follow the Extinction of Manners for Men, the Decadence of Church Parade, the General Cutting of Acquaintances, the re-introduction of Thumb-biting, Nose-pulling, Duelling, and Civil War, the disappearance of Great Britain as a first-class Power, the establishment of a Reign of Terror, and much inconvenience.
Because I have recently purchased an Extra Special Loyal and Up-to-Date Jubilee Tile, which I hope to wave, throw up, and generally smash and sacrifice on the Great Occasion.
But that is not another story.
Fashions in Hats
Punchhad already referred to Its disuse on the cricket field. The mention of statues in top-hats is not an effort of imagination: Dr. Grigor, to whom Nairn owes so much of its popularity as a health resort, is thus attired in the stone effigy of him which stands in the centre of the town. The tall hat, though now seldom seen except at weddings and funerals, has survived its centenary; but new fashions in headgear date from 1897, whenPunch's"Stifled Stockbroker" rejoices, when the thermometer stood at ninety in the shade, in the relief afforded by his Panama and Pyjamas.
The appearance of the Homburg Hat is chronicled in 1900, but not in a complimentary manner. "Bertie's new hat," according to a satirical young lady, "looks as though somebody had begun excavating to find his brains, and had given it up in despair." There was another heat wave this year, andPunchnotices that straw hats were worn at Sandown, while the horses in Paris were "wearing straw bonnets to protect them from the heat," a practice adopted in subsequent years in London. The "boom" in sandals in 1901 belongs more to Hygiene than to Fashion, but, ifPunchis to be believed, it was not confined to health cranks and children; and in the Sapphic stanza ofCanning's "Needy Knife-grinder" he gives voice to the indignant protest of the London shoeblack. Another sartorial centenary, that of trousers, fell in the year 1902, butPunch'sappeal to the poets to celebrate it in song remained unanswered. Meanwhile a young peer was credited by a society journal with the intention of forming a League in order to differentiate men's evening dress from that of a waiter, butPunchfailed to see in the venture any sign ofnoblesse oblige. By 1902 the Panama Hat had been vulgarized by 'Appy 'Arry; and a year laterPunchspeaks of "the late Panamania." It had gone out of fashion in New York, being superseded by the ordinary stiff straw hat, andPunchanticipated that the "slump" would also cross the Atlantic.
Women discussing a mans hat.Fond Wife: "What do you think of Bertie's new hat, dear?"Her Candid Sister: "Well, dear, I think it looks as though somebody had begun excavating to find his brains, and had given it up in despair."
Fond Wife: "What do you think of Bertie's new hat, dear?"
Her Candid Sister: "Well, dear, I think it looks as though somebody had begun excavating to find his brains, and had given it up in despair."
Novelties v. Revivals
There is one grand distinction between men and women in regard to dress. Women (or those who dictate their fashions) are divided between novelties and revivals, and the revivals are generally of the most outrageous absurdities. It is otherwise with the simple male. He deals far less in revivals, and when he hits upon a good novelty he generally sticks to it. In this category I would unhesitatingly include the brown boot, to whichPunchdevoted the following instructive article, modelled on the style of theDaily Mail, in the year 1903:—
THE CULT OF THE BROWN BOOT
No serious student of dermatology can have avoided noticing the enormous increase in the use of brown boots in the last quarter of a century. In 1879 a clubman would no more have thought of walking down Pall Mall in brown boots than of flying. But now even archdeacons frequent the Athenæum Club in that ubiquitous footwear.Necessity is probably the mother of invention, as Lord Avebury has pointedly remarked, and the introduction of the brown boot is due, according to a well-known Bond Street maker, to the exigencies of a retired General, who, finding it difficult to get his boots adequately blacked at his chambers, suggested, as a solution of his embarrassment, that it might be possible to devise a form of boot in which blacking could be entirely dispensed with. The example at once provoked imitation, and now it is estimated by Dr. Nicholson Roberts in theBootmanthat in London alone 1,250,000 pairs of tawny-coloured footgear are sold in the year.Boots, it may not be generally known, are made from the hides of various animals, terrestrial and marine. The skin is removed after the animal has been slaughtered, not before, and is then subjected to a variety of preliminary processes of a mollifying character, of which the most important is that of tanning. Tan, or tannin, as it is more correctly called, is a substance of a friable texture and a highly pronounced but hygienic odour. It is principally found in Indian tea, whence it is extracted by machinery especially designed for the purpose, and stored in tanyards. It is also occasionally used to deaden the sound of traffic and provide equestrians with a substratum calculated to minimize the wear and tear of their horses' hoofs. Dogs of certain breeds are also technically described as being "black and tan."The process of bootmaking, of which the headquarters is at Northampton, will be familiar to all who have attended the performances of Wagner's operaDie Meistersinger. It involves theuse of powerful cutting instruments, cobbler's wax, needles, thread, and other implements, and the principal terms in its somewhat extensive terminology are vamp, welt, upper leathers, and nether sole. Bootmakers, like tailors, commonly sit cross-legged at their work, and hold pronounced political views; hence the term freebooter. But it has been noted that the makers of brown boots incline to Liberal Unionism. Their patron saint is Giordano Bruno, and in theology they affect latitudinarianism.The term "brown boots," it should also be noted, is a misnomer, as it includes shades of yellow, orange, and russet. Army men affect the latter, while stockbrokers and solicitors prefer the former.In conclusion it may be worth while to record certain established rules, the disregard of which may have untoward consequences. Black laces do not harmonize well with brown boots, nor is itde rigueurto wear them with a frock-coat, or when in evening or court dress.
No serious student of dermatology can have avoided noticing the enormous increase in the use of brown boots in the last quarter of a century. In 1879 a clubman would no more have thought of walking down Pall Mall in brown boots than of flying. But now even archdeacons frequent the Athenæum Club in that ubiquitous footwear.
Necessity is probably the mother of invention, as Lord Avebury has pointedly remarked, and the introduction of the brown boot is due, according to a well-known Bond Street maker, to the exigencies of a retired General, who, finding it difficult to get his boots adequately blacked at his chambers, suggested, as a solution of his embarrassment, that it might be possible to devise a form of boot in which blacking could be entirely dispensed with. The example at once provoked imitation, and now it is estimated by Dr. Nicholson Roberts in theBootmanthat in London alone 1,250,000 pairs of tawny-coloured footgear are sold in the year.
Boots, it may not be generally known, are made from the hides of various animals, terrestrial and marine. The skin is removed after the animal has been slaughtered, not before, and is then subjected to a variety of preliminary processes of a mollifying character, of which the most important is that of tanning. Tan, or tannin, as it is more correctly called, is a substance of a friable texture and a highly pronounced but hygienic odour. It is principally found in Indian tea, whence it is extracted by machinery especially designed for the purpose, and stored in tanyards. It is also occasionally used to deaden the sound of traffic and provide equestrians with a substratum calculated to minimize the wear and tear of their horses' hoofs. Dogs of certain breeds are also technically described as being "black and tan."
The process of bootmaking, of which the headquarters is at Northampton, will be familiar to all who have attended the performances of Wagner's operaDie Meistersinger. It involves theuse of powerful cutting instruments, cobbler's wax, needles, thread, and other implements, and the principal terms in its somewhat extensive terminology are vamp, welt, upper leathers, and nether sole. Bootmakers, like tailors, commonly sit cross-legged at their work, and hold pronounced political views; hence the term freebooter. But it has been noted that the makers of brown boots incline to Liberal Unionism. Their patron saint is Giordano Bruno, and in theology they affect latitudinarianism.
The term "brown boots," it should also be noted, is a misnomer, as it includes shades of yellow, orange, and russet. Army men affect the latter, while stockbrokers and solicitors prefer the former.
In conclusion it may be worth while to record certain established rules, the disregard of which may have untoward consequences. Black laces do not harmonize well with brown boots, nor is itde rigueurto wear them with a frock-coat, or when in evening or court dress.
Similarly dressed man and woman.THE SEX QUESTION(A study in Bond Street)
THE SEX QUESTION(A study in Bond Street)
The information here imparted must be accepted with certain reserves, and the same remark holds good ofPunch'spicture of Church Parade in 1906, where hatless "nuts" smoking pipes, wearing Panama hats, knickerbockers and even dressing-gowns, are shown mingling with more correctly attired pedestrians. But, allowing for exaggeration, the picture reflects a real tendency—towards greater comfort and less convention in dress. The "nut" depicted in 1907 wears a coat with a pronounced waist,and highly coloured hose, but in 1910Punchdescants lyrically on the announcement, made by theDaily Express, that "the reign of the passionate sock is over," though a man might "still let himself go in handkerchiefs." The poet ironically bewails the fiat which dooms our socks henceforth to silence:—
There is a power, my friends,That disciplines our loud-hued nether ends.
There is a power, my friends,That disciplines our loud-hued nether ends.
There is a power, my friends,That disciplines our loud-hued nether ends.
There is a power, my friends,
That disciplines our loud-hued nether ends.
Still, he consoles himself with the reflection that he still can wear his heart "up his sleeve," thus recalling the new definition of a gentleman given some years earlier in suburban circles as one who wore his handkerchief up his cuff.
Golfers climbing a steep hill.Host: "How do you like the course?"Visitor: "Well, I don't wish to appear ungrateful, but I should like to lie down!"
Host: "How do you like the course?"
Visitor: "Well, I don't wish to appear ungrateful, but I should like to lie down!"
Passionate Socks and Knickerbockers
Owing to the increasing skimpiness of skirts and the cult of slimness, the approximation of male and female attire reached a point in 1911 which suggested to one ofPunch'sartists a new Sex Question puzzle. But while the female "nut" was becoming indistinguishable from the male, the male golfer had come to affect a bagginess of knickerbockers recalling the exuberance of the female cyclist of two decades earlier, and, asPunchshowed, exceedingly ill-suited for progress in a high wind.
Disastrous influence of the sea-breezes on the modern "nut" coiffure. Recently witnessed by our artist at a popular watering-place.
Throughout this period whiskers remained in disfavour with all men of fashion, though they lingered on among the elderly and the middle-aged. Pianists, artists and literary geniuses still wore their hair long. The value of a beard in correcting an imperfect profile was admirably illustrated in Du Maurier's picture of the complacent Admiral in 1894, and naval officers, then and now, availed themselves of a privilege denied to the other Service, without any loss of trimness and smartness of appearance. The "toothbrush" moustache dates back to pre-War days, and its popularity was not impaired when early in 1914 the General commanding the Prussian Guards Corps forbade its adoption as "not consonant with the German national character." Waxed ends to the moustache were now only worn by policemen, taxi-drivers and Labour leaders. But the outstanding feature of malecoiffureduring the latter part of this period was the adoption of the practice of liberally oiling or pomading the hair and brushing it right back over the head without any parting. Whence the practice came I do not know, but it became almost universal amongst "nuts," undergraduatesand the senior boys at our public schools.Punchdid not admire the fashion, but it must have been a gold mine to all dealers in bear's grease, brilliantine, Macassar's "incomparable oil," and all manner of unguents simple or synthetic.
Revival of Crinoline Threatened
Punch'schronicle of feminine fashion opens in 1893 with the menace of a return of the crinoline, the bare mention of which was enough to upset his equanimity, for his seven years' war against it had by his own admission been more or less of a failure:—
CRINOLINE
Rumour whispers, so we gleanFrom the papers, there have beenThoughts of bringing on the sceneThis mad, monstrous, metal screen,Hiding woman's graceful mien.Better Jewish gaberdineThan, thus swelled out, satin's sheen!Vilest garment ever seen!Form unknown in things terrene;Even monsters plioceneWere not so ill-shaped, I ween.Women wearing this machine,Were they fat or were they lean—Small as Wordsworth's celandine,Large as sail that's called lateen—Simply swept the pavement clean:Hapless man was crushed betweenFlat as any tinned sardine.Thing to rouse a Bishop's spleen,Make a Canon or a DeanSpeak in language not serene.We must all be very green,And our senses not too keen,If we can't say what we mean,Write in paper, magazine,Send petitions to the Queen,Get the House to intervene.Paris fashion's transmarine—Let us stop by quarantineCatastrophic Crinoline!
Rumour whispers, so we gleanFrom the papers, there have beenThoughts of bringing on the sceneThis mad, monstrous, metal screen,Hiding woman's graceful mien.Better Jewish gaberdineThan, thus swelled out, satin's sheen!Vilest garment ever seen!Form unknown in things terrene;Even monsters plioceneWere not so ill-shaped, I ween.Women wearing this machine,Were they fat or were they lean—Small as Wordsworth's celandine,Large as sail that's called lateen—Simply swept the pavement clean:Hapless man was crushed betweenFlat as any tinned sardine.Thing to rouse a Bishop's spleen,Make a Canon or a DeanSpeak in language not serene.We must all be very green,And our senses not too keen,If we can't say what we mean,Write in paper, magazine,Send petitions to the Queen,Get the House to intervene.Paris fashion's transmarine—Let us stop by quarantineCatastrophic Crinoline!
Rumour whispers, so we gleanFrom the papers, there have beenThoughts of bringing on the sceneThis mad, monstrous, metal screen,Hiding woman's graceful mien.Better Jewish gaberdineThan, thus swelled out, satin's sheen!Vilest garment ever seen!Form unknown in things terrene;Even monsters plioceneWere not so ill-shaped, I ween.Women wearing this machine,Were they fat or were they lean—Small as Wordsworth's celandine,Large as sail that's called lateen—Simply swept the pavement clean:Hapless man was crushed betweenFlat as any tinned sardine.Thing to rouse a Bishop's spleen,Make a Canon or a DeanSpeak in language not serene.We must all be very green,And our senses not too keen,If we can't say what we mean,Write in paper, magazine,Send petitions to the Queen,Get the House to intervene.Paris fashion's transmarine—Let us stop by quarantineCatastrophic Crinoline!
Rumour whispers, so we glean
From the papers, there have been
Thoughts of bringing on the scene
This mad, monstrous, metal screen,
Hiding woman's graceful mien.
Better Jewish gaberdine
Than, thus swelled out, satin's sheen!
Vilest garment ever seen!
Form unknown in things terrene;
Even monsters pliocene
Were not so ill-shaped, I ween.
Women wearing this machine,
Were they fat or were they lean—
Small as Wordsworth's celandine,
Large as sail that's called lateen—
Simply swept the pavement clean:
Hapless man was crushed between
Flat as any tinned sardine.
Thing to rouse a Bishop's spleen,
Make a Canon or a Dean
Speak in language not serene.
We must all be very green,
And our senses not too keen,
If we can't say what we mean,
Write in paper, magazine,
Send petitions to the Queen,
Get the House to intervene.
Paris fashion's transmarine—
Let us stop by quarantine
Catastrophic Crinoline!
Woman in dress with large sleeves, and small girl.FASHION"Oh, Mummy, have you beenvaccinated onbotharms?"
FASHION
"Oh, Mummy, have you beenvaccinated onbotharms?"
Du Maurier, in a picture which serves as a pendant to one which appeared in November, 1857, contrasts the MissesRoundabout's inflated circumference with the graceful lines of the normal skirt, but the warning was happily unnecessary and the threatened danger never materialized. Another revival, that of the "Coal-scuttle" bonnet, was not nearly so formidable, but it enabledPunchto indulge in a characteristic gibe at the headgear of the "loud Salvation lasses." The mania for expansion had ascended, and the fashion of large puffed sleeves in the same year prompted the criticism of the little girl: "Oh, Mummy, have you been vaccinated onbotharms?" For many years huge hats continued to offendPunch'ssense of proportion. In 1893 he contrasts the small flat sailor-hat worn at the seaside with the monstrosities in vogue in London, and in 1894 I note the first of his many tirades against the "Matinée Hat." In the 'fiftiesPunchhad derided "Bloomerism"; now he was momentarily converted to the introduction of "rational" dress for women cyclists. Thus in 1894 he defended the innovation with pen and pencil against the protests of Mrs. Grundy, that "great Goose Autocrat, the Palladium of Propriety, the Ægis of social morality," and attacked her inconsistency in banning knickerbockers while she acquiesced in audaciousdécolletage. The lady in knickerbockers portrayed in 1895 is a distinctly attractive figurethough she owns that she had adopted them not to ride a bicycle, but because she had got a sewing machine.
Matinée Hats and Russian Blouses
Hats and balloon sleeves occupy a good deal of notice in 1895 and 1896. In an ingenious parody of Keats's "La Belle Dame sans Merci,"Punchdenounces the use of "mixed plumes" in women's hats, and the poet is left
alone and sadly loiteringWhile the sedge shakes not with the glancing plumesAnd no birds sing.
alone and sadly loiteringWhile the sedge shakes not with the glancing plumesAnd no birds sing.
alone and sadly loiteringWhile the sedge shakes not with the glancing plumesAnd no birds sing.
alone and sadly loitering
While the sedge shakes not with the glancing plumes
And no birds sing.
The nuisance of the matinée hat had roused the ire of the male playgoer.Punchcompared it to the Eiffel Tower and to a Tower of Babel on top of a garden bed. The obstruction in Parliament was nothing to it; and on reading that large theatre hats had been prohibited in Ohio, he was ready to admit that here, at any rate, we might Americanize our modes to good purpose. Floral decorations had reached such a pitch of extravagance as to warrant the remark of the loafer to a lady wearing a huge beflowered hat: "Want agardener, Miss?" Signs of sanity, however, were recognized in the announcement that Parisiancouturièreshad issued a fiat against wasp waists, and were going to take the Venus of Milo henceforth as their model, thoughPunchwas rather sceptical of the results of this bold move, which in his view would cause consternation in the ranks of the fashion-plate designers. The Venus of Milo, by the way, has in 1922 been "turned down" by a fashionable Chicago lady as utterly early Victorian.
Passing over the introduction of the "bolero" coat and the brief revival of the early Victorian bonnet in 1897, we come in 1898 to one of the first instances of the Russian invasion—the appearance of the Russian blouse.Punchdescribes it as the same back and front, with a kind of ruff below the waist which sticks out stiffly all round. It required four times as much stuff as was necessary, but provided room to stow away a fair-sized sewing machine without detection. The "Medici Collar," another novelty, or revival, of the year, is caricatured in a picture which gives the impression of a "bearded lady"; while the enormously lofty trimmings of hats are reported (on theauthority of theDaily Telegraph) to have obliged carriage-makers to lower the seats of many closed vehicles. Knickerbockers had already gone out of fashion, even for bicycling, andPunchunchivalrously compares them with the baggy nether-wear of Dutchmen.
Skirts were still worn tight but very long, so long that the shade of Queen Bess is invoked to express her wonder how the modern woman could walk at all, andPunchsuggests a new occupation for the London street boys as trainbearers. In 1899 the new colour was "rouge automobile," described astrès-chicorteuf-teuf—the Parisian argot for the noisy motor of the hour.
TheHairdresserannounced that "this year hair is to be worn green," but the statement appears to have been premature.Punchagain fulminates against the persistent Plumage Scandal—this time in a picture of the "Extinction of Species," typified by a ferocious fashion-plate lady with a plumed hat surrounded by plucked egrets.A proposof headgear, it may be added that in the Coronation year of 1902Punchissued a Proclamation to all women not to wear large hats at the ceremony and so cause annoyance, vexation, desperation and profanity to sightseers. His Schedule comprises Gainsboroughs, Bergères, Tricornes, Plateaux, Lady Blessington, Rustic, Picture and Matinée hats—a tolerably comprehensive list.
From 1903 onwards large bag-shaped muffs came prominently into view, andPunchungallantly emphasizes their value as a means of hiding large hands. The outstanding feature of this and the next year is the influence of motoring on dress. Here, according toPunch, decoration was entirely sacrificed to comfort: the motorist swathed in furs is compared to the bear, the mountain goat, the chimpanzee and the Skye terrier. In 1904 he notes the universal adoption of the motor-cap, even by those who never owned or rode in a motor-car. For the rest, the "clinging style" of dress, with long skirts and long hanging sleeves, was generally in vogue. Mrs. Roundabout fears that it would make her look "so dreadfully emaciated," but rotundity of figure had ceased to be the rule even with the middle-aged. Fashionable women, apart from their motor costumes, continued to display their wonderful disregard forthe rigours of the climate, a trait which is faithfully dealt with inPunch'sverses on the "Pneumonia Blouse."
Revival of the Directoire Style
By 1904 skirts were beginning to be appreciably shortened, but, as a set-off, fashionable women indemnified themselves by the length and expansiveness of their sleeves:—
Her sleeves are made in open bagsLike trousers in the Navy;No more she sweeps the streets, but dragsHer sleeves across the gravy.
Her sleeves are made in open bagsLike trousers in the Navy;No more she sweeps the streets, but dragsHer sleeves across the gravy.
Her sleeves are made in open bagsLike trousers in the Navy;No more she sweeps the streets, but dragsHer sleeves across the gravy.
Her sleeves are made in open bags
Like trousers in the Navy;
No more she sweeps the streets, but drags
Her sleeves across the gravy.
Elaborate bathing dresses, exhibiting a gradual tendency to reduce the amount of material, are henceforth a frequent subject of illustration. In 1905Punch'sfair bathers remain on the shore and never enter the water as it would absolutely spoil their dresses. We hear less of the matinée hat, but the enormouscoiffuresdepicted in 1907 proved hardly less objectionable to those who sat behind them; and as for hats, the more grotesque and absurd they were the stronger was their appeal. The new hats in 1907, with the brim large at the back, have a sort of sou'-wester effect; and the towering monstrosities depicted at the close of the year make "busbys" look small: Mars is eclipsed by Venus. In 1908Punchchronicles the advent of the latest importation from France, the revived "Directoire" costume as worn at Longchamps:—
Long languid lines unbroken by a frill,Superfluous festoons reduced to nil,A figure like a seal reared up on endAnd poking forward with a studied bend;A shortish neck imprisoned in a ruff,Skin-fitting sleeves that show a stint of stuff,A waist promoted halfway up the back,And not a shred that's comfortably slack;A multitude of buttons, row on row,Not there for business—merely made for show;A skirt whose meagre gores necessitateThe waddle of a Chinese lady's gait;A "busby" toque extinguishing the hair,As if a giant hand had crushed it there—Behold the latest mode! and write beneath,"A winter blossom bursting from its 'sheath.'"
Long languid lines unbroken by a frill,Superfluous festoons reduced to nil,A figure like a seal reared up on endAnd poking forward with a studied bend;A shortish neck imprisoned in a ruff,Skin-fitting sleeves that show a stint of stuff,A waist promoted halfway up the back,And not a shred that's comfortably slack;A multitude of buttons, row on row,Not there for business—merely made for show;A skirt whose meagre gores necessitateThe waddle of a Chinese lady's gait;A "busby" toque extinguishing the hair,As if a giant hand had crushed it there—Behold the latest mode! and write beneath,"A winter blossom bursting from its 'sheath.'"
Long languid lines unbroken by a frill,Superfluous festoons reduced to nil,A figure like a seal reared up on endAnd poking forward with a studied bend;
Long languid lines unbroken by a frill,
Superfluous festoons reduced to nil,
A figure like a seal reared up on end
And poking forward with a studied bend;
A shortish neck imprisoned in a ruff,Skin-fitting sleeves that show a stint of stuff,A waist promoted halfway up the back,And not a shred that's comfortably slack;
A shortish neck imprisoned in a ruff,
Skin-fitting sleeves that show a stint of stuff,
A waist promoted halfway up the back,
And not a shred that's comfortably slack;
A multitude of buttons, row on row,Not there for business—merely made for show;A skirt whose meagre gores necessitateThe waddle of a Chinese lady's gait;
A multitude of buttons, row on row,
Not there for business—merely made for show;
A skirt whose meagre gores necessitate
The waddle of a Chinese lady's gait;
A "busby" toque extinguishing the hair,As if a giant hand had crushed it there—Behold the latest mode! and write beneath,"A winter blossom bursting from its 'sheath.'"
A "busby" toque extinguishing the hair,
As if a giant hand had crushed it there—
Behold the latest mode! and write beneath,
"A winter blossom bursting from its 'sheath.'"
People as they were dressed and as they are ten years later.A DECADE'S PROGRESSI. Mrs. Browne, Mrs. Browne, junior, and Mrs. Browne, junior's little girl, as they were in 1901, and—II. As they are to-day.
A DECADE'S PROGRESS
I. Mrs. Browne, Mrs. Browne, junior, and Mrs. Browne, junior's little girl, as they were in 1901, and—
II. As they are to-day.
Four styles of dressAS WE KNEW HER TEN YEARS AGO—AS WE MEET HER TO-DAY
AS WE KNEW HER TEN YEARS AGO—AS WE MEET HER TO-DAY
Fashion Plate Heroines
Miss Maud Allan had not yet been ousted from her eminence by the Russian Ballet and by real dancing, and the repercussion of the cult of the "all-but-altogether" on fashionable costume is well satirized byPunchin this year. By reducing materials to an irreducible minimum this new mania, asPunchlogically argues, was likely to be ruinous to trade as well as to railway porters and carriers, since large trunks were no longer necessary and a whole wardrobe could be carried in a handbag or suitcase. Another view of the situation is expressed in the comment of the wife of the frugal Scot who had protested against the idea of her taking to this "awfu' gear": "Hoots, mon! Dinna ye see it's just made wi' aboot hauf the material." Conflicting tendencies can always be simultaneously illustrated in the vagaries of feminine fashion, for along with this alarming "skimpiness" went the cult of huge fur head-dresses and muffs with animals' muzzles thereon. In the lines quoted above thearrival of the "hobble" or "harem" skirt is foreshadowed. In 1910 this strange Oriental monstrosity is ridiculed in the picture of the girl hopping to catch her train, as running was out of the question, and again in the comment of the navvy who feels thatheis at last in the fashion with his knee-straps.
Mother dressed for weather, children not.THE SPARTAN MOTHER
THE SPARTAN MOTHER
The Perversities of Mode
The progress of fashion in the decade 1901-1911 is well illustrated in the parallel groups given in the latter year and showing the change from homely comfort to aggressive scantiness. Even better is the admirable representation—it is hardly a caricature—of the old and new types of fashion plate; the former insipid and simpering lay figures, the latter sinister modern Messalinas. Beyond an increasing tendency to extravagance and eccentricity and the general use of paint there is little to notein the remaining years of this period. The brief reign of the "pannier" skirt impelledPunch, under the heading of "Pockets at last," to indicate how use might here be combined with so-called ornament. The big-hat craze continued; the habit of poking the head forward—noted in the verses on the "Directoire" style—became so pronounced that "backbones were out of fashion" and an erect deportment made a woman "look all wrong"; while the inconsistent perversity of winter fashions is satirized in the lady with her bodice slit down to the diaphragm walking with a gentleman in a heavy overcoat and a thick muffler; and again in the "Spartan mother," swathed in furs, accompanied by her hatless, bare-legged children. Lastly, on the very eve of the War,Punchgives a pictorial table of the relative importance of the persons engaged in the production of a revue. The costumier heads the list: at the other end are the composer and a group of authors.
In letters, as in life, the passing of "the old order" was already apparent at the opening of the period under review in this volume. For in 1892 the author of the lines immortally associated with the phrase himself passed away, full of years and honours.Punchhad always been a Tennysonian, even in the days when the Laureate was still looked upon as an innovator. He had given Tennyson the hospitality of his columns in 1846 to retort on Bulwer Lytton, who had attacked "School-miss Alfred" inThe New Timon. Finally, when Tennyson was laid to rest in the Abbey,Punchsaluted him without reserve as the chief glory of Victorian minstrelsy. The memorial verses are too long to quote, forPunchin his elegiac moods was still inclined to prolixity, but they deal adequately with the spirit and influence, the consummate art, and the fervent patriotism of one who, after various fluctuations of prestige, is even now being re-discovered by Georgian critics.
The vacant laureateship was not filled till the close of 1895, when the appointment of Mr. Alfred Austin by Lord Salisbury unloosed a flood of ridicule. In the cartoon "Alfred the Little"Punchdepicted a diminutive figure, standing on tip-toe, as he hangs his lyre on the walls of the Temple of the Muses. The laurelled bust of Tennyson is shown in the interior, while outside the figures of Sir Edwin Arnold and Sir Lewis Morris are seen dissembling their disappointment. A few weeks later the inclusion of the new Laureate amongst the celebrities of Madame Tussaud's Exhibition prompted the malicious soliloquy of "Alfred amongst the Immortals."
Swinburne and the British Academy
Mr. Austin's unfortunate efforts at the time of the Boer war did not escapePunch'sderision, and when his name failed to appear in the New Year's Honour List of 1901,Punch, in a sardonic parody, modelled on the famous lyric inAtalanta in Calydon, represented Swinburne ironically asking:—
Austin—what of the Knight,Heavy with hope deferred?When will he solace our sight,Panoplied, plumed and spurred?
Austin—what of the Knight,Heavy with hope deferred?When will he solace our sight,Panoplied, plumed and spurred?
Austin—what of the Knight,Heavy with hope deferred?When will he solace our sight,Panoplied, plumed and spurred?
Austin—what of the Knight,
Heavy with hope deferred?
When will he solace our sight,
Panoplied, plumed and spurred?
Swinburne and Meredith, two other "eminent Victorians," both died in 1909. Towards themPunch'sattitude had undergone considerable vicissitudes. Swinburne's erotic ballads had, as I have noticed in an earlier volume, excitedPunch'svehement disapproval. Yet he paid him the tribute of constant imitation and parody. When the proposal for establishing a British Academy was brought forward in 1897,Punch, who "crabbed" the scheme from the outset, was not content with printing imaginary letters from various aspirants—Hall Caine, Miss Marie Corelli, Grant Allen, William Watson, "Sarah Grand," and Clement Scott—but made good play with Swinburne's publicly avowed disgust at having his name associated with a "colluvies litterarum" and a "ridiculous monster." The exclusion of pure or creative literature from the British Academy, it may be added, prompted Sambourne's cartoon in 1902 in which a sour-visaged lady in academical costume is seen mounting the steps to the Academy, while three graceful figures—Drama, Romance, and Poetry—are locked out on the other side of the railings.
To return to Swinburne, it should be noted that probably more poems were written in the "Dolores" stanza throughout this period than in any other metre. And when he died in 1909,Punch, granting him full amnesty for his violence in controversy, his extravagance and lawlessness of spirit, forgot the rebel and only remembered the singer:—
What of the night? For now his day is done,And he, the herald of the red sunrise,Leaves us in shadow even as when the sunSinks from the sombre skies.High peer of Shelley, with the chosen fewHe shared the secrets of Apollo's lyre,Nor less from Dionysian altars drewThe god's authentic fire.Last of our land's great singers, dowered at birthWith music's passion, swift and sweet and strong,Who taught in heavenly numbers, new to earth,The wizardry of song—His spirit, fashioned after Freedom's mould,Impatient of the bonds that mortals bear,Achieves a franchise large and uncontrolled,Rapt through the void of air."What of the night?" For him no night can be;The night is ours, left songless and forlorn;Yet o'er the darkness, where he wanders free,Behold, a star is born!
What of the night? For now his day is done,And he, the herald of the red sunrise,Leaves us in shadow even as when the sunSinks from the sombre skies.High peer of Shelley, with the chosen fewHe shared the secrets of Apollo's lyre,Nor less from Dionysian altars drewThe god's authentic fire.Last of our land's great singers, dowered at birthWith music's passion, swift and sweet and strong,Who taught in heavenly numbers, new to earth,The wizardry of song—His spirit, fashioned after Freedom's mould,Impatient of the bonds that mortals bear,Achieves a franchise large and uncontrolled,Rapt through the void of air."What of the night?" For him no night can be;The night is ours, left songless and forlorn;Yet o'er the darkness, where he wanders free,Behold, a star is born!
What of the night? For now his day is done,And he, the herald of the red sunrise,Leaves us in shadow even as when the sunSinks from the sombre skies.
What of the night? For now his day is done,
And he, the herald of the red sunrise,
Leaves us in shadow even as when the sun
Sinks from the sombre skies.
High peer of Shelley, with the chosen fewHe shared the secrets of Apollo's lyre,Nor less from Dionysian altars drewThe god's authentic fire.
High peer of Shelley, with the chosen few
He shared the secrets of Apollo's lyre,
Nor less from Dionysian altars drew
The god's authentic fire.
Last of our land's great singers, dowered at birthWith music's passion, swift and sweet and strong,Who taught in heavenly numbers, new to earth,The wizardry of song—
Last of our land's great singers, dowered at birth
With music's passion, swift and sweet and strong,
Who taught in heavenly numbers, new to earth,
The wizardry of song—
His spirit, fashioned after Freedom's mould,Impatient of the bonds that mortals bear,Achieves a franchise large and uncontrolled,Rapt through the void of air.
His spirit, fashioned after Freedom's mould,
Impatient of the bonds that mortals bear,
Achieves a franchise large and uncontrolled,
Rapt through the void of air.
"What of the night?" For him no night can be;The night is ours, left songless and forlorn;Yet o'er the darkness, where he wanders free,Behold, a star is born!
"What of the night?" For him no night can be;
The night is ours, left songless and forlorn;
Yet o'er the darkness, where he wanders free,
Behold, a star is born!
George Meredith was an old friend ofPunch'sfrom the days when he contributed toOnce a Week, but he was not exempt from criticism on that account, as I have already shown. In 1894 he was again burlesqued in a parody ofLord Ormont and his Aminta, which ran through three numbers and was decorated with a portrait of the author as a bull in the china shop of syntax, grammar and form.Punchin middle age only dimly appreciated Meredith's genius, and was disconcerted by his obscurity.Puncherred in good company, for Tennyson is reported to have said that "reading Meredith is like wading through glue"; but sixteen years later the mists cleared away, and the verses of May, 1909, reveal insight as well as admiration:—