SPORT AND PASTIME

Minstrels, like bards, are irritable folkWhom trifles oft provokeTo sudden fury or unseemly tears;But you, blithe spirit, from your earliest yearsHave been undeviatingly urbane,Free from all frills, considerate, courteous, sane,And to the end will so remain.Wherefore, with deepest reverence imbuedFor your supreme pianofortitude,And by melodious memories rarely stirred,Punchhails your Jubilee, O tuneful Bird!

Minstrels, like bards, are irritable folk

Whom trifles oft provoke

To sudden fury or unseemly tears;

But you, blithe spirit, from your earliest years

Have been undeviatingly urbane,

Free from all frills, considerate, courteous, sane,

And to the end will so remain.

Wherefore, with deepest reverence imbued

For your supreme pianofortitude,

And by melodious memories rarely stirred,

Punchhails your Jubilee, O tuneful Bird!

The author of those lines, on another occasion, rendered Mr. Bird a serious disservice.A proposof the invasion of the Music-Halls by serious performers, he had published a purely fictitious announcement that Mr. Henry Bird would shortly appear on the Variety stage as "The Terrible Transposer"—an allusion to his notorious skill in that direction. This was copied into the parish magazine of St. Mary Abbot's, Kensington, where Mr. Bird had been for many years organist, but the editor's ironical comment was misinterpreted, and the announcement was taken seriously, with the result that Mr. Bird was bombarded with inquiries from applicants for the post. A man with a less angelic temper would have been annoyed; but Mr. Bird was only amused.

[8]The Botticelli joke in the same year was new. One man is afraid he made an ass of himself because, when asked if he liked Botticelli, he had said that he preferred Chianti, and his friend kindly explains that Botticelli is not a wine but a cheese.

The chronicles of sport and pastime from the early 'nineties down to the outbreak of the War are one long and instructive commentary on the old saying that in the long run the pupil always beats his master. At the opening of this period, though assailed in the domain of athletic sports by the Americans, and in that of cricket by the Australians, Great Britain still led the world in games and most forms of sport. At its close there was no form of organized physical effort, whether individual or collective, in which we had not been effectively challenged or defeated by the superior skill or endurance of competitors from overseas. In cricket, football, rowing, golf, polo, yachting, lawn tennis and boxing, we had met our match and more than our match; and the insular complacency which prevailed in the 'nineties had given place in certain minds to a mood of depression, made vocal in the Duke of Westminster's letter toThe Timesin the autumn of 1913, in which he described our failure to take the Olympic games seriously and the loss of championships as "a national disaster." In the interval sport and pastime had become an international preoccupation.Punchin earlier years had been strongly in favour of international contests as a means of promoting international good will. He was not so certain on this point by 1913, but it is to his credit that he viewed the whole subject in its true perspective, recognizing that the spirit in which a game was played was a truer test of sportsmanship than the achievement of success; that the best sportsmen were "good losers"; and, above all, that national efficiency did not vary directly with the number of athletic championships collected by the nation. As early as 1892 these principles emerge in his reference to a boat-race at Andrésy on the Seine, when the English crew were defeated by the French. The title of the verses,"Froggie would a-rowing go," is not promising but their spirit is excellent:—

For in spite of the brag and the bounce and the chaff,Heigho for Rowing!The Frog beat the Bull by a length and a half,With your Mossop and James, licked by Boudin and Cuzin,Heigho! says R. C. Lehmann!

For in spite of the brag and the bounce and the chaff,

Heigho for Rowing!

The Frog beat the Bull by a length and a half,

With your Mossop and James, licked by Boudin and Cuzin,

Heigho! says R. C. Lehmann!

So in 1893 he hailed the appearance of the French crew at Henley:—

Punchgreets you with cheers, may your shades ne'er diminish,Though you row forty-four from the start to the finish.

Punchgreets you with cheers, may your shades ne'er diminish,

Though you row forty-four from the start to the finish.

Only friendship could result from such contests. At the same time, in "The British Athlete's Vade-Mecum," he rebukes his countrymen's contempt for the foreigner's idea of sport. When Oxford beat Yale in the inter-University sports in 1894,Punchwas wise enough to foresee that the triumph was not final:—

Come again, Yale, come again, and again;Victors or vanquished such visits aren't vain.One of these days you will probably nick us.We don't crow when we lick; we won't cry when you lick us!

Come again, Yale, come again, and again;

Victors or vanquished such visits aren't vain.

One of these days you will probably nick us.

We don't crow when we lick; we won't cry when you lick us!

A similar spirit animates the cartoon on the Cambridge and Harvard boat-race in 1906, in which Father Thames, as "The Jolly Waterman," takes pride in both crews, while the accompanying verses on "Light Blue and Crimson" emphasize thatcamaraderieof rowing which the writer, "R. C. L.," did so much to foster. The races for the America Cup were, in their earlier stages, when Lord Dunraven was the challenger, more productive of friction than cordiality. Sir Thomas Lipton's indefatigable persistence in his efforts to "lift the Cup" from 1901 onward does not pass unacknowledged, butPunch'sconsolation is not free from irony:—

Bear up, Sir T.; remember Bruce's spider;Build furtherShamrocksthrough the coming-years;Virtue like yours, though long retirement hide her,Ends in the House of Peers.

Bear up, Sir T.; remember Bruce's spider;

Build furtherShamrocksthrough the coming-years;

Virtue like yours, though long retirement hide her,

Ends in the House of Peers.

Cups, Championships and Olympic Games

So an element of ridicule is not wanting in the burlesque diaries published in 1903 of "Lipton Day by Day" and "Lipton Minute by Minute," or in the mock-heroic cartoon of Sir Thomas as "The Last of the Vikings and the First of the Tea-kings."

Lawn tennis in the middle 'nineties was still a predominantly British pastime. In his account of the Northern Tournament in 1895 not a single American or foreign competitor is named, andPunchbewails the absence of the old heroes, the Renshaws and Lawford, and the defection of Miss Lottie Dod, who had already given up lawn tennis for golf. In 1906 the prowess of Miss May Sutton, the American girl who carried off the Ladies' Championship at Wimbledon, is celebrated in eulogistic "Limericks." But it was still a far cry to the Wimbledon of even seven years later, when French and German, as well as American and Australian players, entered the arena. Uncle Sam had been busy collecting championships in the interval, and in August, 1913,Punchrepresented him, carrying a model yacht, a tennis racket and a polo stick (he might have added a golf club in view of Mr. Travis's triumph at Sandwich in 1904), saying to a rather rueful-looking John Bull in cricketing costume: "Say, John, what's this game, anyway? Cricket? Well, see here; mail me a copy of the rules, with date of next international championship. I'm just crazy on Cups." The Olympic GamesfuroreleftPunchcold. The Duke of Westminster's letter on the "national disaster" of 1912 prompts a satirical cartoon in which John Bull, "prostrate with shame," remarks: "My place in the Council of Europe may be higher than ever, but what's the use of that when the Olympic palm for the kneeling high jump is borne by another?" The "Olympic Catechism," published in the following number, is a bitter but not wholly undeserved criticism of the spirit, organization and results of these contests, and the evasion by their promoters of the difficulty of discriminating between professionals and amateurs. To the question, "How is the Olympic spirit acquired?"Punchsupplies the following answer:—

A.By taking part in the Olympic games; by subscribing to the Duke of Westminster's fund; by devoting oneself to the discovery of champions; by advertising; by organizing a boom; by promisinga public reception to successful athletes; by paying their expenses; by——Q.I see. Then I suppose Great Britain has no athletics at present?A.No, none of the right sort.Q.What is the right sort?A.The sort that is imbued with the Olympic spirit.Q.Does everybody like the Olympic spirit?A.Yes, everybody who is anybody.Q.But if somebody says he dislikes it?A.Then he is a crank.Q.What is a crank?A.One who has not got the Olympic spirit.Q.Are the subscriptions coming in?A.I refuse to answer further questions.

Q.I see. Then I suppose Great Britain has no athletics at present?

A.No, none of the right sort.

Q.What is the right sort?

A.The sort that is imbued with the Olympic spirit.

Q.Does everybody like the Olympic spirit?

A.Yes, everybody who is anybody.

Q.But if somebody says he dislikes it?

A.Then he is a crank.

Q.What is a crank?

A.One who has not got the Olympic spirit.

Q.Are the subscriptions coming in?

A.I refuse to answer further questions.

The search for Olympic talent inspired a succession of burlesque pictures; and the fostering of the "Olympic Spirit" is reduced to absurdity by the drawing of the lady presenting a classic wreath to the winner of the sack-race in some village sports.

The introduction of base-ball in 1892 is chronicled pictorially in a grotesque illustration of the attitudes of the players. But the interest now taken in the game, and reflected in the publication of "base-ball results" on the tape and in the sporting columns of the Press, was essentially a post-war product. Cricket reigned paramount inPunch'saffections, at any rate in the 'nineties. When Mr. C. I. Thornton was presented with a silver trophy during the Scarborough Week in 1894, as a memento of the great part he had taken in the Scarborough Festival since its institution in 1869,Punchpaid lyrical homage to "Buns," the "great slogger of sixes." The Preface to vol. cviii. (1895) is headed by a picture ofPunch, "W. G." and the shade of Alfred Mynn. Reference is made in the text to the National Testimonial to Grace which was got up this year, andPunchsuggests that "W. G." ought to receive a knighthood. He was not alone in the suggestion, forThe Timessubsequently referred to "Dr. W. G. Grace, whose name has been everywhere of late—except where it might well have been, in the Birthday Honours List," andPunchimproved on the text in June:—

Gentleman and Players

True,Thunderer, true! He stands the test Unmatched, unchallengeable Best At our best game! Requite him! For thirty years to hold first place And still, unpassed, keep up the pace Pleases a stout, sport-loving race. By Jove! "Sir William Gilbert Grace" Sounds splendid.Punchsays, "Knight him!"

In the same summer "W. G." is glorified in "The Cricket Three":—

Men of one skill though varying in race,Maclaren, Ranjitsinhji, Grand Old Grace.

Men of one skill though varying in race,

Maclaren, Ranjitsinhji, Grand Old Grace.

Ranji was "champion cricketer" of the year in 1896, andPunchindited an "Ode to the Black Prince" with a portrait by Sambourne. Yet the cricket world was not without its frictions and difficulties. In this year the professionals had claimed a higher rate of pay than the regulation £10 for taking part in matches against Australia, andPunchintervenes in a cartoon in which he gives Grace, Abel and Trott the toast of the Three F's—"Fair Play, Fair Pay and Friendliness."Puncha year earlier had congratulated the Committee of the Rugby Union on their decision that "Professionalism was illegal," thus showing their determination to "keep the ball out of the Moneygrub's sordid slime." But while he deplored the prospect of strikes and lock-outs in the cricket world, he clearly held that here, at any rate, the status of the professional was securely established and deserved considerate treatment. England won the rubber, rather unexpectedly, in 1896, andPunchsingles out Grace, Peel, Hearne and Abel for special honour. The English visiting team were defeated in Australia in the winter of 1898, andPunch, in his "Eleven Little Reasons Why," genially satirizes those critics who tried to explain it away:—

Because of course they play cricket in Australia all the year round.Because it was too hot for anything, and of course the English team were unaccustomed to the heat.Because there was a chapter of accidents from the first, and everyone had bad luck.Because the coin never would come down the right side on the top, and consequently the British could not go in first.Because the ground got hopelessly out of order by the time that the first innings of the Australians was over.Because the constant travelling and occasionalfêtingwere enough to put everyone out of form.Because there ought to have been more extra men to fill up the ranks on emergencies.Because at least one admirable cricketer was left at home whose services on several occasions would have been invaluable.Because the tea interval coming after the luncheon pause was confusing to the Mother Countrymen.Because the glorious uncertainty of cricket is proverbial, and success may be deserved, but cannot on that account be always attained.Lastly, and probably the right reason, because the other side had the better men.

Because of course they play cricket in Australia all the year round.

Because it was too hot for anything, and of course the English team were unaccustomed to the heat.

Because there was a chapter of accidents from the first, and everyone had bad luck.

Because the coin never would come down the right side on the top, and consequently the British could not go in first.

Because the ground got hopelessly out of order by the time that the first innings of the Australians was over.

Because the constant travelling and occasionalfêtingwere enough to put everyone out of form.

Because there ought to have been more extra men to fill up the ranks on emergencies.

Because at least one admirable cricketer was left at home whose services on several occasions would have been invaluable.

Because the tea interval coming after the luncheon pause was confusing to the Mother Countrymen.

Because the glorious uncertainty of cricket is proverbial, and success may be deserved, but cannot on that account be always attained.

Lastly, and probably the right reason, because the other side had the better men.

Loving cricket as he didPunchwas yet fully alive to the English tendency to think that success with the bat or ball qualified a man for anything, and made good capital out of a letter inThe Timesin 1899, in which the writer, "LL.B. and M.A., London," had written of the late Sir Michael Foster, then a candidate for the representation of the University in Parliament: "Michael Foster was a capital cricketer. He kept wicket for the first eleven.... No better candidate could possibly be found." I have elsewhere noted his reference to the clergyman who in the same year had declared that what his village really needed in a curate was "a good fast bowler with a break from the off." Towards the new type of cricketing journalist which emerged about the close of the centuryPunchwas not exactly benevolent; the duplication of functions was remunerative, but could not conduce to impartial reporting when the writer was also a performer. In the last ten years of this periodPunch'sreferences to cricket are much less frequent, but we may note his excellent Latin joke in 1906 on the discomfiture of the Players at Lord's—urgentur ... longa Nocte, i.e. by long Knox, the famous amateur fast bowler. The triumph of Warwickshire—champion county in 1911—is commemorated in the cartoon, "Two Gentlemen of Warwickshire," with the ingenious legend:—

Mr. F. R. Foster(Captain of the Warwickshire XI): "Tell Kent from me she hath lost." (II Henry VI, iv, 10.)William Shakespeare: "Warwick, thou art worthy!" (III Henry VI, iv, 6.)

Mr. F. R. Foster(Captain of the Warwickshire XI): "Tell Kent from me she hath lost." (II Henry VI, iv, 10.)

William Shakespeare: "Warwick, thou art worthy!" (III Henry VI, iv, 6.)

Lord's and Ladies

Cricket was increasingly played by girls, but both at the beginning and the end of the period the female spectator left much to be desired. After the Oxford and Cambridge match in 1896Punchwrote some verses on the attraction of "Lord's" for ladies, which end on a note of severe remonstrance:—

If, Phyllis, you your placemusttakeBetween me and the wicket,Don't chatter, and for goodness' sakeSit still and watch the cricket.

If, Phyllis, you your placemusttake

Between me and the wicket,

Don't chatter, and for goodness' sake

Sit still and watch the cricket.

In 1912 appeared the picture, "At the Eton and Harrow Match." Here an "important lady" addresses deep square-leg, standing near the boundary, "Would you kindly move away? It's quite impossible for my daughter to see my nephew, who is batting."

Two officers talking.First Officer(to very young Subaltern, who is packing his kit for South Africa): "What on earth do you want with all those polo sticks?"Subaltern: "Well, I thought we should get our fighting done by luncheon-time, and then we should have the afternoons to ourselves and could get a game of polo!"

First Officer(to very young Subaltern, who is packing his kit for South Africa): "What on earth do you want with all those polo sticks?"

Subaltern: "Well, I thought we should get our fighting done by luncheon-time, and then we should have the afternoons to ourselves and could get a game of polo!"

If cricket claims less notice inPunch'spages, it must not be taken to imply any lessening of his love. The reason is tobe found in the richer field for satire and ridicule provided by other pastimes. The immense development of Association football as a spectacular game, and the wholesale importation of hireling players to represent a district to which they did not belong, found no favour withPunch. His picture of Football Fever in the Midlands on Saturday afternoon in 1892 is deliberately grotesque and hostile. By 1904 the achievements of the Dominions and of Wales in the Rugby game lend point toPunch'sburlesque forecast of the "Football of the Future." International matches are to be "refereed" by well-known statesmen; Esperanto is to be spoken; and Great Britain is represented by a team of fourteen New Zealanders and one Welshman. In 1910 a weekly paper advocated weeping for men as "the true elixir of energy and the greatest of Nature's restoratives." This pronouncement was turned to good account in "A Cup Tie Episode," relating how a team, with three—love against them at half-time, turned the tables on their opponents after a copious outburst of tears. Again, when a daily paper in 1913 conducted a referendum amongst its readers to ascertain what subjects of public interest were insufficiently treated in its columns,Punchasserts that "to the Editor's question 465,326 readers replied, football; 235,473, golf; 229,881, flying; and 2, foreign politics." The burlesque snapshots published in the same year if reprinted to-day would hardly be an exaggeration of the latest inanities of the camera in the football field.

WhilePunchmight plead guilty to an "insufficient treatment" of professional football, and glory in his guilt, he could not be charged with a similar neglect of golf. As a solace to the unsuccessful lady lawn-tennis player it is recommended, as early as 1894, in an audacious travesty of Goldsmith:—

When lovely woman tries to volley,But finds that men refuse to play,What charm can soothe her melancholy?What game can take her grief away?The means her spirits to recover,To still the jeers of those that scoff,To fascinate the tardy lover,And gain his favour is—to Golf.

When lovely woman tries to volley,But finds that men refuse to play,What charm can soothe her melancholy?What game can take her grief away?

When lovely woman tries to volley,

But finds that men refuse to play,

What charm can soothe her melancholy?

What game can take her grief away?

The means her spirits to recover,To still the jeers of those that scoff,To fascinate the tardy lover,And gain his favour is—to Golf.

The means her spirits to recover,

To still the jeers of those that scoff,

To fascinate the tardy lover,

And gain his favour is—to Golf.

Two golf caddies talking.ONE OF THE BOYSFirst Caddie: "Who're ye foor this morning, Angus?"Second Caddie: "A'm foor the petticoats."

ONE OF THE BOYS

First Caddie: "Who're ye foor this morning, Angus?"

Second Caddie: "A'm foor the petticoats."

Punch and Tom Morris

Sacrilegious hands are laid on Mrs. Browning, in 1902, in the lament of "The Golf Widows"—i.e. women whose husbands do nothing but play or talk golf—an excellent satire on the selfishness, the "shop," and the strong language of the "strong man off his game." But there are golfers and golfers; andPunchrecognized one of the real heroes of the game in his "Royal and ancient friend," old Tom Morris, whose resignation of his post as green-keeper at St. Andrew's inspired this genial salutation:—

Well have you borne your fourscore years and two,Faithful in service, as in friendship true;Now, pacing slowly homewards from the Turn,Long may it be before you cross the Burn,And, ere you tread your well-loved links no more,May eight-two (plus twenty) be your score.

Well have you borne your fourscore years and two,

Faithful in service, as in friendship true;

Now, pacing slowly homewards from the Turn,

Long may it be before you cross the Burn,

And, ere you tread your well-loved links no more,

May eight-two (plus twenty) be your score.

The popularity of golf in France has led to the framing of a complete glossary of French equivalents for the terminology of the game.Punch, as a good humanist, essayed a similar taskat a time when the revival of Latin for conversational purposes was proposed by some hardy classicists. As he justly remarks: "The advantages of Latin in this context will not have escaped the notice of even the most superficial observers. Thus the bad effect on caddies of using strong language in the vernacular is entirely obviated. Again, when the ball is lying dead, only a dead language can render justice to the situation."

Man riding penny farthig bicycle.WILLIAM THE WHEELMAN"'I can only emphasize the fact that I consider that physically, morally, and socially, the benefits that cycling confers on the men of the present day are almost unbounded.' (Aside) Wish I were on a 'Safety'!!"

WILLIAM THE WHEELMAN

"'I can only emphasize the fact that I consider that physically, morally, and socially, the benefits that cycling confers on the men of the present day are almost unbounded.' (Aside) Wish I were on a 'Safety'!!"

Bicycling, Croquet, Swimming

Of the brief vogue of bicycling among the "smart set" I have spoken already. The abuse of this indispensable machine inspired a new version of "Daisy Bell, or a BicycleMade for Two"—"Blazy Bill or the Bicycle Cad"—of which it may suffice to quote the last stanza:—

Blazy! Blazy!Turn up wild wheeling, do!I'm half crazy,All in blue funk of you.The "Galloping Snob" was a curse, Sir,But the Walloping Wheelman is worser;I'd subscribe half a quidTo be thoroughly ridOf all Bicycle Cads like you.

Blazy! Blazy!

Turn up wild wheeling, do!

I'm half crazy,

All in blue funk of you.

The "Galloping Snob" was a curse, Sir,

But the Walloping Wheelman is worser;

I'd subscribe half a quid

To be thoroughly rid

Of all Bicycle Cads like you.

As a set-off, however, in "Facilis Descensus"Punchsings gaily and genially of the "dear little Bishop" who had bought a new "bike" and found that in the joys of the wheel nothing could come up to "coasting." The picture of Mr. Gladstone on the old "ordinary" is not a representation of fact, but I print it as a reminder of the appearance of that remarkable and perilous-looking machine. Croquet, which had led a submerged existence for several years, reasserted itself in 1894, andPunch, in affected astonishment, asked, "Are we back in the 'sixties again?" The revival was attributed by thePall Mall Gazetteto the abolition of "tight croqueting," a phrase which gavePunchopenings for facetious comment. In the previous year he had disrespectfully spoken of croquet as the "feeblest game," and yet admitted that, given a pretty partner, it beat golf and polo. Swimming, in its heroic form, loomed large in 1905, and inPunch'spicture the Channel is black with male and female athletes, while an article is devoted to a fictitious account of an hotel at Dover specially equipped to meet their needs. Women had by now taken so kindly to all kinds of sport and pastime thatPunchsought to reduce their competition to absurdity in the dialogue of two stalwart young men who preferred arranging flowers to shooting or golfing, because they had become "so effeminate." The sporting woman, by the way, was no favourite of Du Maurier's. Ten years earlier he had portrayed an odious specimen of the new womanhood in Miss Goldenberg, who, in reply to the questionof the charming vicar's wife whether she had had good sport, replies jauntily: "Oh, rippin'! I only shot one rabbit, but I managed to injure quite a dozen more!" The "Ballad of the Lady Hockey-player" in 1903 ascribes to her a distinctly matrimonial purpose:—

And to-day I'm so excited that I feel inclined to scream,But a certain sense of modesty prevails;For this very afternoon I am to play against a teamThat will be composed of eligible males.Though I do not care two pinsWhich side loses, or which wins,I may get some introductions if I hit 'em on the shins.

And to-day I'm so excited that I feel inclined to scream,

But a certain sense of modesty prevails;

For this very afternoon I am to play against a team

That will be composed of eligible males.

Though I do not care two pins

Which side loses, or which wins,

I may get some introductions if I hit 'em on the shins.

Winter sports in Switzerland make theirdébutinPunchin 1895 in an article on tobogganing dated "Canton des Grisons." Mention is made of curling, "bandy" and figure-skating, but nothing is said of ski-ing, which though practised as a sport in Norway from 1860, did not reach Switzerland till the end of the century. Another foreign importation, this time from Japan, was ju-jitsu, to the value of whichPunchpays a dubious tribute in 1899 in a burlesque interview with a burglar on whom a householder had ineffectually tried the new art of self-defence. In the same mood are the farcical suggestions for dealing with various awkward situations in 1905, and the overthrow of a butler by a page-boy, to the petrifaction of the servants' hall. There was a recrudescence of roller-skating in 1909 whichPunchdeals with in pictures, prose and verse. The inexpert and self-protective lover sings, after Ben Jonson:—

Rink with me only with thine eyes,And do not clutch my frame;Clasp yonder expert's hand instead,And I'll not press my claim.

Rink with me only with thine eyes,

And do not clutch my frame;

Clasp yonder expert's hand instead,

And I'll not press my claim.

The Tyranny of Ping-pong

There are many allusions to "Rinkomania," but not nearly so many as to Ping-Pong, which attained the proportions of a pestilence in 1901, 1902 and 1903.Punchbegan by calling it a "ghastly game," but kept in close touch with its progress until the tyranny was overpast. He gives us pictures of ping-pongin the kitchen; of people searching beneath the table and in corners for missing balls; a sketch of a ping-pong tournament, with local champions and devotees of all ages and callings.

In his "Cry of the Children" the younger generation lift up their voices in protest:—

We shall never know what peace is till we land upon that shoreWhere the fathers cease from pinging and the mothers pong no more.

We shall never know what peace is till we land upon that shore

Where the fathers cease from pinging and the mothers pong no more.

In 1902 theTable Tennis Gazetteissued its first number, andPunchspeculates on the contents:—

Here you may learn if it is trueThat Tosher's got his Ping-Pong Blue.

Here you may learn if it is true

That Tosher's got his Ping-Pong Blue.

The epidemic abated in 1903, and in "The Lost Golfer"Punchhas some excellent chaff (after Browning) of the "parlour hero," his mind temporarily unhinged by a "piffulent game." The verses begin "Just for a celluloid pilule he left us," and end with the anticipation that the "lost golfer" will yet return to his old haunts:—

Back for the Medal Day, back for our foursomes,Back from the tables' diminishing throng;Back from the infantile ceaseless half-volley,Back from the lunatic lure of Ping-Pong.

Back for the Medal Day, back for our foursomes,

Back from the tables' diminishing throng;

Back from the infantile ceaseless half-volley,

Back from the lunatic lure of Ping-Pong.

Ping-pong departed, to be revived in 1920, but another and equally devastating craze ran its course in 1907, when "Diabolo"—the old "Devil-on-two-sticks"—was the ruling passion of the hour. It was honoured with a cartoon showing John Redmond playing the "Divil of a Game," the reel being "Leadership," and numerous illustrations are devoted to the progress of the mania.Punchaffected to have discovered a new disease, "Diabolo Neck," which he compares and contrasts with "the Cheek of the Devil," and records the observation of an ill-tempered old gentleman, as he watched some performers "diabolizing" in Kensington Gardens: "A month or so ago that sort of thing was only being done in our Asylums."

Two horse riders talkingFirst Thruster(guiltily conscious of having rather pressed on hounds): "Now we're goin' to catch it; that's the master comin', isn't it?"Second Thruster(his host): "It's all right. We've got two masters. That's the one that supplies the money; the other supplies the language."

First Thruster(guiltily conscious of having rather pressed on hounds): "Now we're goin' to catch it; that's the master comin', isn't it?"

Second Thruster(his host): "It's all right. We've got two masters. That's the one that supplies the money; the other supplies the language."

The vogue of Bridge dates from the last years of the old century. According to the veraciousDaily Mail, in 1899 a Cambridge Professor was earning handsome fees by giving instruction in the game to members of the University, andPunchembroiders the text according to his wont. In 1901Punch'scartoon "Discarded" shows Fashion, in her fool's cap, accosting "Mr. Bridge": "Come along, Partner! That dear old Mister Whist is such a bore! He is sovieux jeu!" Bridge figures as a gallant and picturesque cavalier, while Whist is a sour-visaged old pedant.Punchwas not always of one mind about the triumphant new-comer, but he cordially echoed the sentiments of theMorning Postwhen that journal asserted that Bridge made for the abolition of the drawing-room ballad and the drawing-room ballad-monger; and it gave him abundant scope for comment and parody, e.g. his perversion of Longfellow's lines into "I played on at Bridge at midnight." Bridge, however, had not always a monopoly of attraction even in the days when its tyranny was at its height. In 1902 we encounterthe tragedy of the four men driven to the nursery to play Bridge because "they are playing Ping-Pong in the dining-room, and 'Fives' in the billiard-room, Jack's trying to imitate Dan Leno in the drawing-room, Dick's got that infernal gramophone of his going in the hall, and they are laying supper in the smoking-room."

Hunting and Prize-fighting

It is a relief to turn from these mostly futile indoor pastimes to the robuster sports of the chase, the turf and the prize-ring.Punchwas fortunate in this period in having at his command, in Mr. Armour, an artist who restored the hunting pictures to a higher level of draughtsmanship than they had ever reached before. This implies no disparagement of the incomparable geniality of Leech's drawings, which in that respect have never been equalled, unless by Randolph Caldecott. But for the correct drawing of hounds, horses and riders, and for the discreet handling of the hunting landscape, Mr. Armour's equipment is above reproach. References to the turf in the early years of this period are mostly connected with Lord Rosebery. His success in winning the Derby withLadasin 1894 lends point to the "highly improbable anticipation" ofPunch'sartist in which the Premier, in parson's garb, announces his conversion to the tenets of the Nonconformist conscience. In September of the same year we have the wail of a "disgusted backer" over the defeat of the favourite in the St. Leger:—

Ladas, Ladas,Go along with you, do.I'm now stone-brokeAll on account of you.It wasn't a lucky Leger;I wish I'd been a hedger,Though you did look sweetBefore defeat!—But I've thoroughly done with you.

Ladas, Ladas,

Go along with you, do.

I'm now stone-broke

All on account of you.

It wasn't a lucky Leger;

I wish I'd been a hedger,

Though you did look sweet

Before defeat!—

But I've thoroughly done with you.

In a more serious vein of ironyPunch, in 1906, muses on the popularity of the turf and ends with this reflection:—

Is it not odd that hitherto no poetHas thought to mention how, with lord and serf,Whether they plunge thereon, or rest below it,There is no equaliser like the Turf?Whatso our claim,The starting price is one, and Death the same.

Is it not odd that hitherto no poet

Has thought to mention how, with lord and serf,

Whether they plunge thereon, or rest below it,

There is no equaliser like the Turf?

Whatso our claim,

The starting price is one, and Death the same.

The problem of the future of the horse exercisesPunchin 1911. Mr. Morrow's suggestions are always original, if fantastic, but he is on safe ground when he declares that the horse could always be of use in pageants. Motor-cars in ceremonial processions remind one of nothing so much as huge beetles.

The great revival of boxing came at the end of the period, but in 1908 there is an amusing reference to Jack Johnson who, after defeating Tommy Burns, had become very unpopular in New South Wales, but, according to theDaily Mail, found consolation for adverse criticism in reading Shakespeare, Milton and Bunyan. The statement was not thrown away onPunch, who, while welcoming the evidence that Jack Johnson was able to keep his temper sweet, observed that it would be sweeter still to know what Shakespeare, Milton and Bunyan thought of his devotion. On the eve of the War, as I have noted in the first chapter, the man in the street was thinking a good deal more about Carpentier than the Crown Prince Franz Ferdinand.

Back to Index Next