Mr. Punch sitting in library
Things One would rather have left Unsaid.—"You remember that party at Madam Gelasma's, to hear Joachim, Rubinstein, and the Henschels, and De Soria—quite asmallparty?"
"No; I wasn't there!" "No? Ah—well—itwasvery select!"
The Greatest Question of the Day.—"My dear, what will you have for dinner?"
Our Whist Party.—Major MacFlush(at close of rubber, to partner). Didn't ye see me call for trumps?
Partner(a new hand). You may have called, Major, but I never heard you!
Undesirable Bric-a-brac.—Family jars.
Mem. for Young Housewives.—To make both ends meet—burn the candle at 'em.
"Pleasantit is when the woods are green," as paterfamilias observed when all the doors in his new villa took to warping.
The Dear Things.—He.You know Jones's wife, an old schoolfellow of yours; tell me, is she musical?
She (her dearest friend).I should say decidedly not, or she wouldn't be so fond of hearing the sound of her own voice.
The Kitchen-Range-finder.—The policeman!
Motto for the Lady of the House.—Don't worry about trifles; make a blanc-mange.
Visitor."Do you have any difficulty in getting servants?"
Hostess."None whatever. We've had ten different ones in the last month!"
Domestic Economy.—Cook."Wasteful, mum? Well, mum, that's one thing I'mnot! Why, everythink in the eatin' an' drinkin' way that comes down from hupstairs, I make a point of finishin' up myself, mum!"
Domestic Economy.—Cook."Wasteful, mum? Well, mum, that's one thing I'mnot! Why, everythink in the eatin' an' drinkin' way that comes down from hupstairs, I make a point of finishin' up myself, mum!"
Domestic Economy.—Cook."Wasteful, mum? Well, mum, that's one thing I'mnot! Why, everythink in the eatin' an' drinkin' way that comes down from hupstairs, I make a point of finishin' up myself, mum!"