Mr. Punch rejoices to hear that "the greatest plague of life" has a slight chance of being abated by the establishment of a College for Servants, who will be educated in the most careful way to do justice to their employers—the main idea being that most lucidly stated by the Dean of Saint Patrick's, that it is the chief duty of every servant to ascertain the full amount of his master's income, and to spend the whole of it on his own department. Having been favoured with an early copy of the subjects with which the courses will commence,Mr. Punchis glad to give to this useful undertaking the advantage of his worldwide publicity.
Class 1.Lady Housekeepers.—"How to manage a widower with young children. In three heads: 1, Domestication; 2, Flirtation; 3, Temptation."
Class 2.Cooks.—"How to make the kitchen-fire too hot for the missus, and too cool for the sirloin."
Son of the House."Aren't you dancing this? May I have the pleasure? I'm trying to do my duty all round to-night!"
Son of the House."Aren't you dancing this? May I have the pleasure? I'm trying to do my duty all round to-night!"
Son of the House."Aren't you dancing this? May I have the pleasure? I'm trying to do my duty all round to-night!"
Class 3.Butlers.—"How to substitute Marsala for Madeira, andVin ordinairefor Château-Lafitte."
Class 4.Lady's-Maids.—"How to look much prettier than the young ladies when there are visitors in the house."
Class 5.Footmen.—"How to make a fortune out of six feet two in height, and calves nineteen inches round."
Class 6.Men and Wives.—"How to keep their quarrels to themselves, and feed their 'incumbrances' in the neighbourhood."
Class 7.Coachmen and Grooms.—"How to make the corn supplied to the stables more useful than if wasted on dumb animals."
Class 8.Housemaids.—"How to train that noble animal, the harmless necessary cat, to break glass and snap up unconsidered trifles."
It can scarcely be doubted, from this preliminary syllabus of lectures, that the new Institution will do much for the comfort, economy, and refinement of our households.
"Chamber Music."—Baby!
Lady Sneerwell."Have your daughters accomplished much in music?"Unfortunate Father."Yes—the tenants below have moved."
Lady Sneerwell."Have your daughters accomplished much in music?"Unfortunate Father."Yes—the tenants below have moved."
Lady Sneerwell."Have your daughters accomplished much in music?"Unfortunate Father."Yes—the tenants below have moved."