ACT IIISCENE I. Grove near the CourtEnterMucedorussolus.MUCEDORUS.From Amadine, and from her father’s court,With gold and silver, and with rich rewards,Flowing from the banks of golden treasuries.More may I boast, and say, but I,Was never shepherd in such dignity.Enter theMessengerandMouse,the Clown.MESSENGER.All hail, worthy shepherd!MOUSE.All rain, lousy shepherd!MUCEDORUS.Welcome, my friends, from whence come you?MESSENGER.The King and Amadine do greet thee well.And after greeting done, bid thee depart the court.Shepherd, begone!MOUSE.Shepherd, take law-legs; fly away, shepherd.MUCEDORUS.Whose words are these? Come these from Amadine?MESSENGER.Ay, from Amadine.MOUSE.Ay, from Amadine.MUCEDORUS.Ah! luckless fortune, worse than Phaeton’s tale,My former bliss is now become my bale.MOUSE.What, wilt thou poison thyself?MUCEDORUS.My former heaven is now become my hell.MOUSE.The worst alehouse that I ever came in, in all my life.MUCEDORUS.What shall I do?MOUSE.Even go hang thyself half an hour.MUCEDORUS.Can Amadine so churlishly command,To banish th’ shepherd from her father’s court?MESSENGER.What should shepherds do in the court?MOUSE.What should shepherds do amongst us? Have we not lords enough o’er us in the court?MUCEDORUS.Why, shepherds are men, and kings are no more.MESSENGER.Shepherds are men, and masters o’er their flock.MOUSE.That’s a lie; who pays them their wages, then?MESSENGER.Well, you are always interrupting of me, but you are best look to him, lest you hang for him, when he is gone.[Exit.]MOUSE.[Sings.]And you shall hang for company,For leaving me alone.Shepherd, stand forth, and hear thy sentence! Shepherd, begone within three days, on pain of my displeasure; shepherd, begone; shepherd, begone, begone, begone, begone; shepherd, shepherd, shepherd.[Exit.]MUCEDORUS.And must I go? and must I needs depart?Ye goodly groves, partakers of my songs,In time tofore, when fortune did not frown,Pour forth your plaints, and wail a while with me.And thou bright sun, my comfort in the cold,Hide, hide thy face, and leave me comfortless;Ye wholesome herbs, and sweet-smelling savours,Yea, each thing else prolonging life of man,Change, change your wonted course that I,Wanting your aid, in woful sort may die.EnterAmadineandAriena,her maid.AMADINE.Ariena,If any body ask for me, make some excuse,Till I return.ARIENA.What, an Segasto call?AMADINE.Do thou the like to him, I mean not to stay long.[ExitAriena.]MUCEDORUS.This voice so sweet my pining spirits revives.AMADINE.Shepherd, well met, pray, tell me how thou dost?MUCEDORUS.I linger life, yet wish for speedy death.AMADINE.Shepherd!Although thy banishment already be decreed,And all against my will, yet Amadine—MUCEDORUS.Ah, Amadine, to hear of banishment is death,Ay, double death to me, but since I must depart,One thing I crave—AMADINE.Say on, with all my heart.MUCEDORUS.That in my absence, either far or near,You honour me as servant to your name.AMADINE.Not so.MUCEDORUS.And why?AMADINE.I honour thee as sovereign of my heart.MUCEDORUS.A shepherd and a sovereign nothing like.AMADINE.Yet like enough, where there is no dislike.MUCEDORUS.Yet great dislike, or else no banishment.AMADINE.Shepherd, it only isSegasto that procures thy banishment.MUCEDORUS.Unworthy wights are most in jealousy.AMADINE.Would God, they would free thee from banishment,Or likewise banish me.MUCEDORUS.Amen, I say, to have your company.AMADINE.Well, shepherd, sith thou sufferest this for my sake,With thee in exile also let me live,On this condition, shepherd, thou canst love.MUCEDORUS.No longer love, no longer let me live.AMADINE.Of late I loved one indeed, now love I none but only thee.MUCEDORUS.Thanks, worthy princess,I burn likewise, yet smother up the blast,I dare not promise what I mayn’t perform.AMADINE.Well, shepherd, hark what I shall say,I will return unto my father’s court,For to provide me of such necessariesAs for my journey I shall think most fit.This being done, I will return to thee;Do thou therefore appoint the place, where we may meet.MUCEDORUS.Down in the valley, where I slew the bear,And there doth grow a fair broad-branched beech,That overshades a well: so who comes first,Let them abide the happy meeting of us both.How like you this?AMADINE.I like it very well.MUCEDORUS.Now, if you please, you may appoint the time.AMADINE.Full three hours hence, God willing, I’ll return.MUCEDORUS.The thanks that Paris gave the Grecian queen,The like doth Mucedorus yield.AMADINE.Then, Mucedorus, for three hours farewell.[Exit.]MUCEDORUS.Your ’parture, lady, breeds a privy pain.[Exit.]SCENE II. The CourtEnterSegastosolus.SEGASTO.’Tis well, Segasto, that thou hast thy will:Should such a shepherd, such a simple swain,Eclipse thy credit famous through the court?No, ply, Segasto, ply!And let it not be said in Aragon,A shepherd hath Segasto’s honour won.EnterMouse,the Clown, calling his master.MOUSE.What ho! master, will you come away?SEGASTO.Will you come hither, I pray you, what is the matter?MOUSE.Why, is it not past eleven o’clock?SEGASTO.How then, sir?MOUSE.I pray you, come away to dinner.SEGASTO.I pray you, come hither.MOUSE.Here’s such a-do with you, will you never come?SEGASTO.I pray you, sir, what news of the message I sent you about?MOUSE.I tell you, all the messes be on the table already. There wants not so much as a mess of mustard half an hour ago.SEGASTO.Come, sir, your mind is all upon your belly,You have forgotten what I did bid you do.MOUSE.Faith, I know nothing, but you bade me go to breakfast.SEGASTO.Was that all?MOUSE.Faith, I have forgotten it, the very scent of the meat hath made me forget it quite.SEGASTO.You have forgotten the errand I bid you do?MOUSE.What arrant? an arrant knave, or an arrant whore?SEGASTO.Why, thou knave, did I not bid thee banish the shepherd, buzzard?MOUSE.O, the shepherd’s bastard.SEGASTO.I tell thee, the shepherd’s banishment.MOUSE.I tell you, the shepherd’s bastard shall be well kept; I’ll look to it myself. But I pray you, come away to dinner.SEGASTO.Then you will not tell me whether you have banished him, or no?MOUSE.Why, I cannot saybanishment, an you would give me a thousand pounds to say so.SEGASTO.Why, you whoreson slave, have you forgotten that I sent you and another to drive away the shepherd?MOUSE.What an ass are you; here’s a stir indeed, here’s message, arrant, banishment, and I cannot tell what.SEGASTO.I pray you, sir, shall I know whether you have drove him away?MOUSE.Faith, I think I have; an you will not believe me, ask my staff.SEGASTO.Why, can thy staff tell?MOUSE.Why, he was with me too.SEGASTO.Then happy I, that have obtain’d my will.MOUSE.And happier I, if you would go to dinner.SEGASTO.Come, sirrah, follow me.MOUSE.I warrant you, I will not loose an inch of you, now you are going to dinner. [Aside.] I promise you, I thought it seven year, before I could get him away.[Exeunt.]SCENE III. The ForestEnterAmadinesola.AMADINE.God grant my long delay procures no harm,Nor this my tarrying frustrate my pretence.My Mucedorus surely stays for me,And thinks me over-long. At length I come,My present promise to perform.Ah, what a thing is firm, unfeigned love!What is it which true love dares not attempt?My father, he may make, but I must match;Segasto loves, but Amadine must like,Where likes her best: compulsion is a thrall:No, no, the hearty choice is all in all,The shepherd’s virtue Amadine esteems.But what, methinks my shepherd is not come;I muse at that, the hour is sure at hand.Well, here I’ll rest, till Mucedorus come.[She sits down.]EnterBremo,looking about; hastily taketh hold of her.BREMO.A happy prey! now, Bremo, feed on flesh:Dainties, Bremo, dainties, thy hungry paunch to fill:Now glut thy greedy guts with lukewarm blood.Come, fight with me, I long to see thee dead.AMADINE.How can she fight, that weapons cannot wield?BREMO.What, canst not fight? Then lie thou down and die.AMADINE.What, must I die?BREMO.What needs these words? I thirst to suck thy blood.AMADINE.Yet pity me, and let me live a while!BREMO.No pity, I will feed upon thy flesh,And tear thy body piecemeal joint from joint.AMADINE.Ah, how I want my shepherd’s company!BREMO.I’ll crush thy bones betwixt two oaken trees.AMADINE.Haste, shepherd, haste, or else thou com’st too late.BREMO.I’ll suck the sweetness from thy marrow-bones.AMADINE.Ah spare, ah spare to shed my guiltless blood!BREMO.With this my bat will I beat out thy brains;Down, down, I say, prostrate thyself upon the ground.AMADINE.Then, Mucedorus, farewell, my hoped joys, farewell!Yea, farewell life, and welcome present death![She kneels.]To thee, O God, I yield my dying ghost.BREMO.Now, Bremo, play thy part.How now, what sudden change is this?My limbs do tremble, and my sinews shake,My weak’ned arms have lost their former force.Ah, Bremo, Bremo, what a foil hast thou,That yet at no time ever wast afraidTo dare the greatest gods to fight with thee,[He strikes.]And now wants strength for one down-driving blow?Ah, how my courage fails, when I should strike!Some new-come spirit abiding in my breast,Saith,Spare her, Bremo, spare her, do not kill.Shall I spare her, which never spared any?To it, Bremo, to it; essay again.I cannot wield my weapon in my hand,Methinks I should not strike so fair a one,I think her beauty hath bewitch’d my force,Or else within me alter’d nature’s course.Ay, woman, wilt thou live i’ th’ woods with me?AMADINE.Fain would I live, yet loth to live in woods.BREMO.Thou shalt not choose, it shall be as I say,And therefore, follow me![Exeunt.]SCENE IV. The sameEnterMucedorussolus.MUCEDORUS.It was my will an hour ago and more,As was my promise for to make return;But other business hind’red my pretence:It is a world to see, when man appoints,And purposely one certain thing decrees,How many things may hinder his intent.What one would wish, the same is farthest off.But yet th’ appointed time cannot be past,Nor hath her presence yet prevented me.Well, here I will stay, and expect her coming.[They cry within, ‘Hold him, stay him, hold!’]Some one or other is pursued, no doubt,Perhaps some search for me; ’tis goodTo doubt the worst, therefore I’ll be gone.[Exit.]SCENE V. The sameCry within ‘Hold him, hold him!’ EnterMouse,the Clown, with a pot.MOUSE.Hold him, hold him, hold him! Here’s a stir indeed; here came hue after the crier, and I was set close at mother Nip’s house, and there I called for three pots of ale, as ’tis the manner of us courtiers. Now, sirrah, I had taken the maidenhead of two of them—now as I was lifting up the third to my mouth, there came: Hold him, hold him! Now I could not tell whom to catch hold on, but I am sure I caught one, perchance a may be in this pot. Well, I’ll see. Mass, I cannot see him yet; well, I’ll look a little further. Mass, he is a little slave, if a be here; why, here’s nobody. All this goes well yet; but if the old trot should come for her pot?—ay, marry, there’s the matter, but I care not, I’ll face her out, and call her old rusty, dusty, musty, fusty, crusty firebrand, and worse than all that, and so face her out of her pot. But soft! here she comes.Enter theOld Woman.OLD WOMAN.Come on, you knave; where’s my pot, you knave?MOUSE.Go look for your pot; come not to me for your pot, ’twere good for you.OLD WOMAN.Thou liest, thou knave, thou hast my pot.MOUSE.You lie, an you say it. I—your pot? I know what I’ll say.OLD WOMAN.Why, what wilt thou say?MOUSE.But say I have him, an thou dar’st.OLD WOMAN.Why, thou knave, thou hast not only my pot, but my drink unpaid for.MOUSE.You lie like an old—I will not say whore.OLD WOMAN.Dost thou call me whore? I’ll cap thee for my pot.MOUSE.Cap me, an thou dar’st; search me, whether I have it or no.[She searcheth him, and he drinketh over her head, and casts down the pot; she stumbleth at it, then they fall together by the ears; she takes her pot and goes out.]EnterSegasto.SEGASTO.How now, sirrah, what’s the matter?MOUSE.Oh, flies, master, flies.SEGASTO.Flies? Where are they?MOUSE.Oh here, master, all about your face.SEGASTO.Why, thou liest; I think thou art mad.MOUSE.Why, master, I have kill’d a dungcartful at the least.SEGASTO.Go to, sirrah; leaving this idle talk, give ear to me.MOUSE.How, give you one of my ears? not, an you were ten masters.SEGASTO.Why, sir, I bade you give ear to my words.MOUSE.I tell you, I will not be made a curtal for no man’s pleasure.SEGASTO.I tell thee, attend what I say. Go thy ways straight, and rear the whole town.MOUSE.How, rear the town? Even go yourself; it is more than I can do. Why, do you think I can rear a town that can scarce rear a pot of ale to my head? I should rear a town, should I not?SEGASTO.Go to the constable, and make a privy search; for the shepherd is run away with the King’s daughter.MOUSE.How? is the shepherd run away with the King’s daughter, or is the King’s daughter run away with the shepherd?SEGASTO.I cannot tell, but they are both gone together.MOUSE.What a fool is she to run away with the shepherd! Why, I think I am a little handsomer man than the shepherd, myself; but tell me, master, must I make a privy search, or search in the privy?SEGASTO.Why, dost thou think they will be there?MOUSE.I cannot tell.SEGASTO.Well, then search everywhere; leave no place unsearched for them.[Exit.]MOUSE.Oh, now am I in office, now will I to that old firebrand’s house, and will not leave one place unsearched. Nay, I’ll to her ale-stand and drink as long as I can stand; and when I have done, I’ll let out all the rest, to see if he be not hid in the barrel; an I find him not there, I’ll to the cupboard; I’ll not leave one corner of her house unsearched. I’ faith, ye old crust, I will be with you now.[Exit.]
EnterMucedorussolus.
MUCEDORUS.From Amadine, and from her father’s court,With gold and silver, and with rich rewards,Flowing from the banks of golden treasuries.More may I boast, and say, but I,Was never shepherd in such dignity.
Enter theMessengerandMouse,the Clown.
MESSENGER.All hail, worthy shepherd!
MOUSE.All rain, lousy shepherd!
MUCEDORUS.Welcome, my friends, from whence come you?
MESSENGER.The King and Amadine do greet thee well.And after greeting done, bid thee depart the court.Shepherd, begone!
MOUSE.Shepherd, take law-legs; fly away, shepherd.
MUCEDORUS.Whose words are these? Come these from Amadine?
MESSENGER.Ay, from Amadine.
MOUSE.Ay, from Amadine.
MUCEDORUS.Ah! luckless fortune, worse than Phaeton’s tale,My former bliss is now become my bale.
MOUSE.What, wilt thou poison thyself?
MUCEDORUS.My former heaven is now become my hell.
MOUSE.The worst alehouse that I ever came in, in all my life.
MUCEDORUS.What shall I do?
MOUSE.Even go hang thyself half an hour.
MUCEDORUS.Can Amadine so churlishly command,To banish th’ shepherd from her father’s court?
MESSENGER.What should shepherds do in the court?
MOUSE.What should shepherds do amongst us? Have we not lords enough o’er us in the court?
MUCEDORUS.Why, shepherds are men, and kings are no more.
MESSENGER.Shepherds are men, and masters o’er their flock.
MOUSE.That’s a lie; who pays them their wages, then?
MESSENGER.Well, you are always interrupting of me, but you are best look to him, lest you hang for him, when he is gone.
[Exit.]
MOUSE.[Sings.]And you shall hang for company,For leaving me alone.Shepherd, stand forth, and hear thy sentence! Shepherd, begone within three days, on pain of my displeasure; shepherd, begone; shepherd, begone, begone, begone, begone; shepherd, shepherd, shepherd.
[Exit.]
MUCEDORUS.And must I go? and must I needs depart?Ye goodly groves, partakers of my songs,In time tofore, when fortune did not frown,Pour forth your plaints, and wail a while with me.And thou bright sun, my comfort in the cold,Hide, hide thy face, and leave me comfortless;Ye wholesome herbs, and sweet-smelling savours,Yea, each thing else prolonging life of man,Change, change your wonted course that I,Wanting your aid, in woful sort may die.
EnterAmadineandAriena,her maid.
AMADINE.Ariena,If any body ask for me, make some excuse,Till I return.
ARIENA.What, an Segasto call?
AMADINE.Do thou the like to him, I mean not to stay long.
[ExitAriena.]
MUCEDORUS.This voice so sweet my pining spirits revives.
AMADINE.Shepherd, well met, pray, tell me how thou dost?
MUCEDORUS.I linger life, yet wish for speedy death.
AMADINE.Shepherd!Although thy banishment already be decreed,And all against my will, yet Amadine—
MUCEDORUS.Ah, Amadine, to hear of banishment is death,Ay, double death to me, but since I must depart,One thing I crave—
AMADINE.Say on, with all my heart.
MUCEDORUS.That in my absence, either far or near,You honour me as servant to your name.
AMADINE.Not so.
MUCEDORUS.And why?
AMADINE.I honour thee as sovereign of my heart.
MUCEDORUS.A shepherd and a sovereign nothing like.
AMADINE.Yet like enough, where there is no dislike.
MUCEDORUS.Yet great dislike, or else no banishment.
AMADINE.Shepherd, it only isSegasto that procures thy banishment.
MUCEDORUS.Unworthy wights are most in jealousy.
AMADINE.Would God, they would free thee from banishment,Or likewise banish me.
MUCEDORUS.Amen, I say, to have your company.
AMADINE.Well, shepherd, sith thou sufferest this for my sake,With thee in exile also let me live,On this condition, shepherd, thou canst love.
MUCEDORUS.No longer love, no longer let me live.
AMADINE.Of late I loved one indeed, now love I none but only thee.
MUCEDORUS.Thanks, worthy princess,I burn likewise, yet smother up the blast,I dare not promise what I mayn’t perform.
AMADINE.Well, shepherd, hark what I shall say,I will return unto my father’s court,For to provide me of such necessariesAs for my journey I shall think most fit.This being done, I will return to thee;Do thou therefore appoint the place, where we may meet.
MUCEDORUS.Down in the valley, where I slew the bear,And there doth grow a fair broad-branched beech,That overshades a well: so who comes first,Let them abide the happy meeting of us both.How like you this?
AMADINE.I like it very well.
MUCEDORUS.Now, if you please, you may appoint the time.
AMADINE.Full three hours hence, God willing, I’ll return.
MUCEDORUS.The thanks that Paris gave the Grecian queen,The like doth Mucedorus yield.
AMADINE.Then, Mucedorus, for three hours farewell.
[Exit.]
MUCEDORUS.Your ’parture, lady, breeds a privy pain.
[Exit.]
EnterSegastosolus.
SEGASTO.’Tis well, Segasto, that thou hast thy will:Should such a shepherd, such a simple swain,Eclipse thy credit famous through the court?No, ply, Segasto, ply!And let it not be said in Aragon,A shepherd hath Segasto’s honour won.
EnterMouse,the Clown, calling his master.
MOUSE.What ho! master, will you come away?
SEGASTO.Will you come hither, I pray you, what is the matter?
MOUSE.Why, is it not past eleven o’clock?
SEGASTO.How then, sir?
MOUSE.I pray you, come away to dinner.
SEGASTO.I pray you, come hither.
MOUSE.Here’s such a-do with you, will you never come?
SEGASTO.I pray you, sir, what news of the message I sent you about?
MOUSE.I tell you, all the messes be on the table already. There wants not so much as a mess of mustard half an hour ago.
SEGASTO.Come, sir, your mind is all upon your belly,You have forgotten what I did bid you do.
MOUSE.Faith, I know nothing, but you bade me go to breakfast.
SEGASTO.Was that all?
MOUSE.Faith, I have forgotten it, the very scent of the meat hath made me forget it quite.
SEGASTO.You have forgotten the errand I bid you do?
MOUSE.What arrant? an arrant knave, or an arrant whore?
SEGASTO.Why, thou knave, did I not bid thee banish the shepherd, buzzard?
MOUSE.O, the shepherd’s bastard.
SEGASTO.I tell thee, the shepherd’s banishment.
MOUSE.I tell you, the shepherd’s bastard shall be well kept; I’ll look to it myself. But I pray you, come away to dinner.
SEGASTO.Then you will not tell me whether you have banished him, or no?
MOUSE.Why, I cannot saybanishment, an you would give me a thousand pounds to say so.
SEGASTO.Why, you whoreson slave, have you forgotten that I sent you and another to drive away the shepherd?
MOUSE.What an ass are you; here’s a stir indeed, here’s message, arrant, banishment, and I cannot tell what.
SEGASTO.I pray you, sir, shall I know whether you have drove him away?
MOUSE.Faith, I think I have; an you will not believe me, ask my staff.
SEGASTO.Why, can thy staff tell?
MOUSE.Why, he was with me too.
SEGASTO.Then happy I, that have obtain’d my will.
MOUSE.And happier I, if you would go to dinner.
SEGASTO.Come, sirrah, follow me.
MOUSE.I warrant you, I will not loose an inch of you, now you are going to dinner. [Aside.] I promise you, I thought it seven year, before I could get him away.
[Exeunt.]
EnterAmadinesola.
AMADINE.God grant my long delay procures no harm,Nor this my tarrying frustrate my pretence.My Mucedorus surely stays for me,And thinks me over-long. At length I come,My present promise to perform.Ah, what a thing is firm, unfeigned love!What is it which true love dares not attempt?My father, he may make, but I must match;Segasto loves, but Amadine must like,Where likes her best: compulsion is a thrall:No, no, the hearty choice is all in all,The shepherd’s virtue Amadine esteems.But what, methinks my shepherd is not come;I muse at that, the hour is sure at hand.Well, here I’ll rest, till Mucedorus come.
[She sits down.]
EnterBremo,looking about; hastily taketh hold of her.
BREMO.A happy prey! now, Bremo, feed on flesh:Dainties, Bremo, dainties, thy hungry paunch to fill:Now glut thy greedy guts with lukewarm blood.Come, fight with me, I long to see thee dead.
AMADINE.How can she fight, that weapons cannot wield?
BREMO.What, canst not fight? Then lie thou down and die.
AMADINE.What, must I die?
BREMO.What needs these words? I thirst to suck thy blood.
AMADINE.Yet pity me, and let me live a while!
BREMO.No pity, I will feed upon thy flesh,And tear thy body piecemeal joint from joint.
AMADINE.Ah, how I want my shepherd’s company!
BREMO.I’ll crush thy bones betwixt two oaken trees.
AMADINE.Haste, shepherd, haste, or else thou com’st too late.
BREMO.I’ll suck the sweetness from thy marrow-bones.
AMADINE.Ah spare, ah spare to shed my guiltless blood!
BREMO.With this my bat will I beat out thy brains;Down, down, I say, prostrate thyself upon the ground.
AMADINE.Then, Mucedorus, farewell, my hoped joys, farewell!Yea, farewell life, and welcome present death!
[She kneels.]
To thee, O God, I yield my dying ghost.
BREMO.Now, Bremo, play thy part.How now, what sudden change is this?My limbs do tremble, and my sinews shake,My weak’ned arms have lost their former force.Ah, Bremo, Bremo, what a foil hast thou,That yet at no time ever wast afraidTo dare the greatest gods to fight with thee,
[He strikes.]
And now wants strength for one down-driving blow?Ah, how my courage fails, when I should strike!Some new-come spirit abiding in my breast,Saith,Spare her, Bremo, spare her, do not kill.Shall I spare her, which never spared any?To it, Bremo, to it; essay again.I cannot wield my weapon in my hand,Methinks I should not strike so fair a one,I think her beauty hath bewitch’d my force,Or else within me alter’d nature’s course.Ay, woman, wilt thou live i’ th’ woods with me?
AMADINE.Fain would I live, yet loth to live in woods.
BREMO.Thou shalt not choose, it shall be as I say,And therefore, follow me!
[Exeunt.]
EnterMucedorussolus.
MUCEDORUS.It was my will an hour ago and more,As was my promise for to make return;But other business hind’red my pretence:It is a world to see, when man appoints,And purposely one certain thing decrees,How many things may hinder his intent.What one would wish, the same is farthest off.But yet th’ appointed time cannot be past,Nor hath her presence yet prevented me.Well, here I will stay, and expect her coming.
[They cry within, ‘Hold him, stay him, hold!’]
Some one or other is pursued, no doubt,Perhaps some search for me; ’tis goodTo doubt the worst, therefore I’ll be gone.
[Exit.]
Cry within ‘Hold him, hold him!’ EnterMouse,the Clown, with a pot.
MOUSE.Hold him, hold him, hold him! Here’s a stir indeed; here came hue after the crier, and I was set close at mother Nip’s house, and there I called for three pots of ale, as ’tis the manner of us courtiers. Now, sirrah, I had taken the maidenhead of two of them—now as I was lifting up the third to my mouth, there came: Hold him, hold him! Now I could not tell whom to catch hold on, but I am sure I caught one, perchance a may be in this pot. Well, I’ll see. Mass, I cannot see him yet; well, I’ll look a little further. Mass, he is a little slave, if a be here; why, here’s nobody. All this goes well yet; but if the old trot should come for her pot?—ay, marry, there’s the matter, but I care not, I’ll face her out, and call her old rusty, dusty, musty, fusty, crusty firebrand, and worse than all that, and so face her out of her pot. But soft! here she comes.
Enter theOld Woman.
OLD WOMAN.Come on, you knave; where’s my pot, you knave?
MOUSE.Go look for your pot; come not to me for your pot, ’twere good for you.
OLD WOMAN.Thou liest, thou knave, thou hast my pot.
MOUSE.You lie, an you say it. I—your pot? I know what I’ll say.
OLD WOMAN.Why, what wilt thou say?
MOUSE.But say I have him, an thou dar’st.
OLD WOMAN.Why, thou knave, thou hast not only my pot, but my drink unpaid for.
MOUSE.You lie like an old—I will not say whore.
OLD WOMAN.Dost thou call me whore? I’ll cap thee for my pot.
MOUSE.Cap me, an thou dar’st; search me, whether I have it or no.
[She searcheth him, and he drinketh over her head, and casts down the pot; she stumbleth at it, then they fall together by the ears; she takes her pot and goes out.]
EnterSegasto.
SEGASTO.How now, sirrah, what’s the matter?
MOUSE.Oh, flies, master, flies.
SEGASTO.Flies? Where are they?
MOUSE.Oh here, master, all about your face.
SEGASTO.Why, thou liest; I think thou art mad.
MOUSE.Why, master, I have kill’d a dungcartful at the least.
SEGASTO.Go to, sirrah; leaving this idle talk, give ear to me.
MOUSE.How, give you one of my ears? not, an you were ten masters.
SEGASTO.Why, sir, I bade you give ear to my words.
MOUSE.I tell you, I will not be made a curtal for no man’s pleasure.
SEGASTO.I tell thee, attend what I say. Go thy ways straight, and rear the whole town.
MOUSE.How, rear the town? Even go yourself; it is more than I can do. Why, do you think I can rear a town that can scarce rear a pot of ale to my head? I should rear a town, should I not?
SEGASTO.Go to the constable, and make a privy search; for the shepherd is run away with the King’s daughter.
MOUSE.How? is the shepherd run away with the King’s daughter, or is the King’s daughter run away with the shepherd?
SEGASTO.I cannot tell, but they are both gone together.
MOUSE.What a fool is she to run away with the shepherd! Why, I think I am a little handsomer man than the shepherd, myself; but tell me, master, must I make a privy search, or search in the privy?
SEGASTO.Why, dost thou think they will be there?
MOUSE.I cannot tell.
SEGASTO.Well, then search everywhere; leave no place unsearched for them.
[Exit.]
MOUSE.Oh, now am I in office, now will I to that old firebrand’s house, and will not leave one place unsearched. Nay, I’ll to her ale-stand and drink as long as I can stand; and when I have done, I’ll let out all the rest, to see if he be not hid in the barrel; an I find him not there, I’ll to the cupboard; I’ll not leave one corner of her house unsearched. I’ faith, ye old crust, I will be with you now.
[Exit.]