VII
Wherein I give the contents of one of the documents I found in the box, consisting of several Narrations, in which Ka In extricates himself from a dilemma and produces our pleasant and agreeable seasons; the origin of the Ice Age; the real but little known cause of the Great Flood; the lovers with the terrible eyes and the artful maidens; the origin of shaving the face and cutting the hair; the Tower of Babel. Also tracing my genealogy from Ka In to Li Ur, who wrote this document.
THOUGH I have studied all the known languages under all the instructors of prominence, and have acquired their proper pronunciation by speaking each language in all its dialects with the people who used them naturally, I have been compelled to translate the following documents by the application of my wide and varied knowledge thus gained of the idioms of the numerous classes with whom I have come in contact.
I have taken the liberty, in a few instances, to “fill in” in order to embellish the meager languagein which the original is written, believing I shall be pardoned for thus doing when it is understood how much of interest has thereby been added to the narrative. Yet I have endeavored to retain the originality of expression and turn of sentence.
Li Ur, a giant, who was the son of Li Ing, who was the son of Tru Thless, who was the son of Fal Seh Ood, who was the son of Pur Jur Ri, who was the son of Fa Kir, who lived about the time of the Great Flood on the Earth, who was the son of Fa Bel, who was the son of Ka In, the patriarch, sends greetings to all students of the World, and, therefore, of its history, and begs all will take heed, meditate upon, ponder over and deeply consider the following tidbits of knowledge, information and belief gathered from the writings of my fathers.
Hear ye, therefore, and profit by the utterances which have to do with nothing but authenticated and undoubted verbatim reports made by expert stenographers who took the words as they fell from the lips of my ancestors. So great was therapidity with which they were spoken and so swift the writers aforesaid, many volumes were spoken and transcribed in a few moments of time.
The first of my narrations is in the words and figures following, to wit, that is to say:
In the days when there was no hurt within, upon, around, about, over and under, in or out of the land, the sea, the clouds, or the air there was a giant who was my remote ancestor. This giant, whose name was Ka In, was a harvester of grain and like seeds. It so happened after laboring morning, noon and evening for about a thousand years his mind was impressed with the terrific thought he would probably be compelled to continue so doing throughout eternity if some change were not determined upon and put into execution; for there was but one kind or quality or state of weather upon all the land from one year’s end to another year’s end. There was also no rain during which he might rest; just so soon as one crop came to maturity another started and demanded his attention. There wasalso no winter during which he might recuperate his wasted strength and energies.
So he sat down upon the threshing machine and thought and thought and thought and thought. Then did he rise up with much determination showing about the edges of his countenance and move rapidly toward the North Pole; for he loved the stars and knew them all by name. He put a great lever against the Pole and heaved away with all his massive power and tipped the Pole over so that it should not all the time point at the same spot in the sky and that the sun should not always shine upon the plains.
Thus it was he had rest one-half the year.
This so amazed the other inhabitants of the earth they were utterly unable to comprehend it and would never have known what had produced the change from one season to four had not Ka In got into an argument with his brother in which he let the cat out of the bag. When he found his brother had told what he had said to his wife he one day caught him out in the field kindling a fire and making an offering to his deity, and caused him to stop breathing for the remainder of his natural life.
Second Narrative
The second narration is even more wonderful, and it relates to this same ancestor, who was a man of renowned achievement.
It came about in the manner following: That he was so much put out by the stories which had got afloat through the wife of his brother he froze the earth up solid with the icy glance of his scornful eye. And when the people roundabout made as if to believe this was the best thing that had happened to them for several hundred years he became so heated with his anger and made such violent use of such warm language the fever of his breath melted all the ice suddenly, both that upon the earth—for the waters of the deep were under the ice and carnivals were daily being held to his great displeasure—but in the clouds, which were solid chunks of frozen moisture held rigidly in the sky. And so it was that the air was full of great rain and the earth was flooded thereby, and no one escaped but Fa Kir, who hastened to the North Pole and builded him a house upon it at such a distance from the earth the water did not reach him, the remains of which still exist to this day as proof of this historical account.
Third Narrative
Ah! But there were giants in the days of my grandfather, Fa Bel. They towered in the air and shook the ground with their tread. And such eyes. When love kindled in their hearts their eyes shone with such brilliancy and power the objects of their affection would have been consumed but for their artfulness; they instantly fell to weeping and such torrents of water fell there were formed rivulets, so to speak, between their lovers and themselves. This would not have been sufficient to protect them from utter destruction had not the fiery glances changed the water into an impenetrable mist which preserved them.
Others were still more artful—those with cold hearts—and always carried large plates of brass so finely polished as to be perfect reflectors. By means of these they sent the glances back withsuch increased power (for they were concave) the giants beat a hasty and precipitate retreat.
Each hair of the beards of these giants was of the size of large twine.
Upon one occasion my grandfather, Fa Bel, dropped his false teeth into a well several hundred feet deep. He was in much despair, for they were a new thing in those days and he had become so accustomed to them he would not do without them. My grandmother told him to cut off his beard and she would weave it into a rope by which he could descend into the well and recover his loss. This he agreed to and was soon happy again.
But he was so much improved in appearance by the removal of his beard, had not the other men observed the state of affairs and also cut off their beards, there might have been grievous trouble in all the land; for had these men gone to war their bulk was so great and their voices so strong the shock of conflict would have burst the earth into pieces.
This was the beginning of the custom of shaving the face, which became prevalent in all lands, and also of the cutting of the hair of men.
Fourth Narrative
His sons and daughters were so impressed by this story they sought to provide against another such evil day; and they set about it in this wise.
They went upon a great mountain and raised up a marvelous tower which reached into and through the land of the skies. When it was completed there was joy and thanksgiving, which was all quickly turned to sorrow when it was discovered that this pinnacle gave ready vent for the electricity in the clouds, which came down this shaft with such force it not only paralyzed all their tongues but their brains also, and caused them to forget all the words they had ever used. And they ran away, one by one, to hide, and when they came forth they knew not father or mother, brother, or sister, or friend; and so each was compelled to start a new race; but it also caused the great steeple to crumble and fall away and the winds blew it all into the sea.