A farmer had several sons. Who used to quarrel with one another. He tried to cure them of this bad habit. By pointing out how foolish and wicked it was. But he found. That he did no good. By talking to them. So one day he laid a bundle of sticks before them. And he bade them break it. The eldest put out all his strength. But in vain. The other sons tried in vain. But they all failed. Then the father. Untying the bundle. Gave his sons the separate sticks to break. And they broke them easily. “Remember,” he said, “the lesson. Which this bundle teaches. While you help each other. None can harm you. When you quarrel. You are easily hurt.”
A farmer had several sons. Who used to quarrel with one another. He tried to cure them of this bad habit. By pointing out how foolish and wicked it was. But he found. That he did no good. By talking to them. So one day he laid a bundle of sticks before them. And he bade them break it. The eldest put out all his strength. But in vain. The other sons tried in vain. But they all failed. Then the father. Untying the bundle. Gave his sons the separate sticks to break. And they broke them easily. “Remember,” he said, “the lesson. Which this bundle teaches. While you help each other. None can harm you. When you quarrel. You are easily hurt.”
Every direct question is followed by aNote of Interrogation; as, “How do you do?” “When did you see your father?” “I suppose, sir, you are a doctor?”
Sometimes a question forms part of a larger sentence, as,
They put this question to the committee, “Will you grant us a hearing?” in a manner that proved their earnestness.
They put this question to the committee, “Will you grant us a hearing?” in a manner that proved their earnestness.
Except in such cases, a note of interrogation is always followed by a capital letter.
Carefully observe the full stops and notes of interrogation in the following:
A Paris fortune-teller was arrested and brought before a magistrate. He said to her, “You know how to read the future?” “I do, sir.” “Then you know what sentence I mean to pass on you?” “Certainly.” “Well, what will happen to you?” “Nothing.” “You are sure of it?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because if you had meant to punish me you would not be cruel enough to mock me.”
A Paris fortune-teller was arrested and brought before a magistrate. He said to her, “You know how to read the future?” “I do, sir.” “Then you know what sentence I mean to pass on you?” “Certainly.” “Well, what will happen to you?” “Nothing.” “You are sure of it?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because if you had meant to punish me you would not be cruel enough to mock me.”
Insert full stops and notes of interrogation.
Is the gardener pruning the trees has the baker been here is the teacher liked were those roses cut to-day had the gentleman lost his hat was the thief caught is the water boiling have the girls learned their poetry has the window been broken was the ship wrecked has the crew been saved was Susan knitting will Mr. Robinson sing has Frank startedA boy was going away without his mother’s leave she called after him “Where are you going, sir” “To the village” “What for” “To buy ten cents worth of nails” “And what do you want ten cents worth of nails for” “For a nickel”
Is the gardener pruning the trees has the baker been here is the teacher liked were those roses cut to-day had the gentleman lost his hat was the thief caught is the water boiling have the girls learned their poetry has the window been broken was the ship wrecked has the crew been saved was Susan knitting will Mr. Robinson sing has Frank started
A boy was going away without his mother’s leave she called after him “Where are you going, sir” “To the village” “What for” “To buy ten cents worth of nails” “And what do you want ten cents worth of nails for” “For a nickel”
TheCommais the most frequently used of all stops.
As a general rule, it may be stated that when, in reading, a slight pause is made, a comma should be inserted in writing; thus:—
The Spaniards were no match for the Roosevelt fighters, however, and, as had been the case at La Quasina, the Western cowboys and Eastern “dandies” hammered the enemy from their path. Straight ahead they advanced, until by noon they were well along toward San Juan, the capture of which was their immediate object. Fighting like demons, they held their ground tenaciously, now pressing forwarda few feet, then falling back, under the enemy’s fire, to the position they held a few moments before.Without books God is silent, justice dormant, natural science at a stand, philosophy lame, letters dumb and all things involved in Cimmerian darkness.
The Spaniards were no match for the Roosevelt fighters, however, and, as had been the case at La Quasina, the Western cowboys and Eastern “dandies” hammered the enemy from their path. Straight ahead they advanced, until by noon they were well along toward San Juan, the capture of which was their immediate object. Fighting like demons, they held their ground tenaciously, now pressing forwarda few feet, then falling back, under the enemy’s fire, to the position they held a few moments before.
Without books God is silent, justice dormant, natural science at a stand, philosophy lame, letters dumb and all things involved in Cimmerian darkness.
When a Noun or Pronoun in Apposition is very closely connected with the preceding word, no comma is needed, as,
William the Conqueror.My cousin Fred.Cromwell the Protector.
William the Conqueror.
My cousin Fred.
Cromwell the Protector.
When the connection is not so close, or when the words in apposition are qualified, the phrase should have commas before and after, as,
William, the Norman conqueror of England, lived a stormy life.My cousin, the bold and gallant Fred, fell in battle.Cromwell, the great Protector, died in 1658.
William, the Norman conqueror of England, lived a stormy life.
My cousin, the bold and gallant Fred, fell in battle.
Cromwell, the great Protector, died in 1658.
Insert the necessary commas.
Napoleon the fallen emperor was sent to St. Helena. I live in Washington the capital of the United States. The children love their uncle Mr. Holmes. That coat was made by Brown the village tailor. It was the lark the herald of the morn. Tom the piper’s son stole a pig. Frank the jockey’s leg is broken. Rome the city of the emperors became the city of the popes. He still feels ambition the last infirmity of noble minds. Julius Cæsar a great Roman general invaded Britain.Examples:—Napoleon, the fallen emperor, was sent to St. Helena. I live in Washington, the capital, etc. The children love their uncle, Mr. Holmes, etc.
Napoleon the fallen emperor was sent to St. Helena. I live in Washington the capital of the United States. The children love their uncle Mr. Holmes. That coat was made by Brown the village tailor. It was the lark the herald of the morn. Tom the piper’s son stole a pig. Frank the jockey’s leg is broken. Rome the city of the emperors became the city of the popes. He still feels ambition the last infirmity of noble minds. Julius Cæsar a great Roman general invaded Britain.
Examples:—Napoleon, the fallen emperor, was sent to St. Helena. I live in Washington, the capital, etc. The children love their uncle, Mr. Holmes, etc.
A Nominative of Address is marked off by commas, as,
Are you, sir, waiting for anyone?
Are you, sir, waiting for anyone?
Should the Nominative of Address have any qualifying words joined to it, the whole phrase is marked off by commas, as,
How now, my man of mettle, what is it you want?
How now, my man of mettle, what is it you want?
Insert the necessary commas.
O Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo? In truth fair Montague I am too fond. O grave where is thy victory? I pray you sire to let me have the honor. Exult ye proud patricians. Put on thy strength O Zion. My name dear saint is hateful to myself. I am sorry friend that my vessel is already chosen. O night and darkness ye are wondrous strong. Good morrow sweet Hal. Now my good sweet honey lord ride with us to-morrow. Come my masters let us share. For mine own part my lord I could be well content to be there.Examples:—O Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond. I pray you, sire, to let me have the honor, etc.
O Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo? In truth fair Montague I am too fond. O grave where is thy victory? I pray you sire to let me have the honor. Exult ye proud patricians. Put on thy strength O Zion. My name dear saint is hateful to myself. I am sorry friend that my vessel is already chosen. O night and darkness ye are wondrous strong. Good morrow sweet Hal. Now my good sweet honey lord ride with us to-morrow. Come my masters let us share. For mine own part my lord I could be well content to be there.
Examples:—O Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond. I pray you, sire, to let me have the honor, etc.
An Adverbial phrase or clause let into a sentence should be marked off by commas, as,
His story was, in several ways, improbable.The letter was written, strange to say, on club paper.
His story was, in several ways, improbable.
The letter was written, strange to say, on club paper.
A time there was, ere England’s griefs began,When every rood of ground maintained its man.
A time there was, ere England’s griefs began,When every rood of ground maintained its man.
A time there was, ere England’s griefs began,When every rood of ground maintained its man.
A time there was, ere England’s griefs began,
When every rood of ground maintained its man.
They sat, as sets the morning star, which goesNot down behind the darkened west.
They sat, as sets the morning star, which goesNot down behind the darkened west.
They sat, as sets the morning star, which goesNot down behind the darkened west.
They sat, as sets the morning star, which goes
Not down behind the darkened west.
Supply commas where necessary.
You will hear in the course of the meeting a full account of the business. The story is however true. The wounded man is according to the latest news doing well. He arrived in spite of difficulties at his journey’s end. He explains with perfect simplicity vast designs affecting all the governments of Europe. In France indeed such things are done. I will when I see you tell you a secret. I had till you told me heard nothing of the matter. There where a few torn shrubs the place disclose the village preacher’s modest mansion rose. You may if you call again see him. You cannot unless you try harder hope to succeed.Examples:—You will hear, in the course of the meeting, a full account, etc. The story is, however, true. You cannot, unless you try harder, hope to succeed, etc.
You will hear in the course of the meeting a full account of the business. The story is however true. The wounded man is according to the latest news doing well. He arrived in spite of difficulties at his journey’s end. He explains with perfect simplicity vast designs affecting all the governments of Europe. In France indeed such things are done. I will when I see you tell you a secret. I had till you told me heard nothing of the matter. There where a few torn shrubs the place disclose the village preacher’s modest mansion rose. You may if you call again see him. You cannot unless you try harder hope to succeed.
Examples:—You will hear, in the course of the meeting, a full account, etc. The story is, however, true. You cannot, unless you try harder, hope to succeed, etc.
Words, phrases, or clauses of the same kind, coming after one another, must be separated by commas, except when joined by Conjunctions, as,
Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand still or walk....Let him eat, drink, ask questions or dispute.
Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand still or walk....Let him eat, drink, ask questions or dispute.
Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand still or walk....Let him eat, drink, ask questions or dispute.
Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand still or walk....
Let him eat, drink, ask questions or dispute.
Her lower weeds were all o’er coarsely patchedWith diff’rent colored rags, black, red, white, yellow.
Her lower weeds were all o’er coarsely patchedWith diff’rent colored rags, black, red, white, yellow.
Her lower weeds were all o’er coarsely patchedWith diff’rent colored rags, black, red, white, yellow.
Her lower weeds were all o’er coarsely patched
With diff’rent colored rags, black, red, white, yellow.
On I walked, my face flushed, my feet sore, my clothes dusty and my stomach as empty as my purse.
On I walked, my face flushed, my feet sore, my clothes dusty and my stomach as empty as my purse.
Supply commas where necessary.
I met Fred Will and George. Faith hope and charity are the Christian graces. The grocer sold four pounds of cheese two pounds of bacon and seven pounds of sugar. Little drops of water little grains of sand make the mighty ocean and the pleasant land. We could have tea coffee cocoa lemonade or ginger beer. The beggar asked for a piece of bread a glass of milk or a few pence. The prize will be won by Smith Brown or Jones. The first second third and fourth boys in the class will be promoted.Examples:—I met Fred, Will and George. Faith, hope and charity are, etc. The first, second, third and fourth boys, etc.
I met Fred Will and George. Faith hope and charity are the Christian graces. The grocer sold four pounds of cheese two pounds of bacon and seven pounds of sugar. Little drops of water little grains of sand make the mighty ocean and the pleasant land. We could have tea coffee cocoa lemonade or ginger beer. The beggar asked for a piece of bread a glass of milk or a few pence. The prize will be won by Smith Brown or Jones. The first second third and fourth boys in the class will be promoted.
Examples:—I met Fred, Will and George. Faith, hope and charity are, etc. The first, second, third and fourth boys, etc.
A participial phrase is generally marked off by commas; as,
The general, seeing his soldiers turn, galloped up to them.The baby lying asleep, the children were very quiet.
The general, seeing his soldiers turn, galloped up to them.
The baby lying asleep, the children were very quiet.
Insert commas where necessary.
James leaving the country William was made king. The storm having abated the ships ventured to sail. Henry returning victorious the people went forth to meet him. My friend Sir Roger being a good churchman has beautified the inside of his church. The woman being in great trouble was weeping. Fearing the storm we returned.Examples:—James leaving the country, William was made king. Fearing the storm, we returned, etc.
James leaving the country William was made king. The storm having abated the ships ventured to sail. Henry returning victorious the people went forth to meet him. My friend Sir Roger being a good churchman has beautified the inside of his church. The woman being in great trouble was weeping. Fearing the storm we returned.
Examples:—James leaving the country, William was made king. Fearing the storm, we returned, etc.
Insert commas where necessary in the following sentences:—
On their bridal trip they took a palace car went down the Cumberland Valley stopped awhile at a watering place and wondered at the divorce cases recorded in the newspapers.In those distant days as in all other times and places where the mental atmosphere is changing and men are inhaling the stimulus of new ideas folly often mistook itself for wisdom ignorance gave itself airs of knowledge and selfishness turning its eyes upward called itself religion—George Eliot.When I was running about this town a very poor fellow I was a great arguer for the advantages of poverty but I was at the same time very sorry to be poor.—Johnson.
On their bridal trip they took a palace car went down the Cumberland Valley stopped awhile at a watering place and wondered at the divorce cases recorded in the newspapers.
In those distant days as in all other times and places where the mental atmosphere is changing and men are inhaling the stimulus of new ideas folly often mistook itself for wisdom ignorance gave itself airs of knowledge and selfishness turning its eyes upward called itself religion—George Eliot.
When I was running about this town a very poor fellow I was a great arguer for the advantages of poverty but I was at the same time very sorry to be poor.—Johnson.
Sail on Three Bells foreverIn grateful memory sail!Ring on Three Bells of rescueAbove the wave and gale!As thine in night and tempestI hear the Master’s cryAnd tossing through the darknessThe lights of God draw nigh.—Whittier.
Sail on Three Bells foreverIn grateful memory sail!Ring on Three Bells of rescueAbove the wave and gale!As thine in night and tempestI hear the Master’s cryAnd tossing through the darknessThe lights of God draw nigh.—Whittier.
Sail on Three Bells foreverIn grateful memory sail!Ring on Three Bells of rescueAbove the wave and gale!
Sail on Three Bells forever
In grateful memory sail!
Ring on Three Bells of rescue
Above the wave and gale!
As thine in night and tempestI hear the Master’s cryAnd tossing through the darknessThe lights of God draw nigh.—Whittier.
As thine in night and tempest
I hear the Master’s cry
And tossing through the darkness
The lights of God draw nigh.—Whittier.
It may be generally stated that aSemi-colonis used in a complex sentence when a comma would not be a sufficient division.
Co-ordinate clauses or sentences, especially if not joined by Conjunctions, are generally separated by semi-colons.
Examples of the use of semi-colons.
The first in loftiness of mind surpassed;The next in majesty; in both the last.—Dryden.
The first in loftiness of mind surpassed;The next in majesty; in both the last.—Dryden.
The first in loftiness of mind surpassed;The next in majesty; in both the last.—Dryden.
The first in loftiness of mind surpassed;
The next in majesty; in both the last.—Dryden.
Many a man lives a burden to the earth; but a good book is the precious life-blood of a master-spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.—Milton.
Many a man lives a burden to the earth; but a good book is the precious life-blood of a master-spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.—Milton.
All nature is but art unknown to thee;All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;All discord, harmony, not understood;All partial evil universal good.—Pope.
All nature is but art unknown to thee;All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;All discord, harmony, not understood;All partial evil universal good.—Pope.
All nature is but art unknown to thee;All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;All discord, harmony, not understood;All partial evil universal good.—Pope.
All nature is but art unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;
All discord, harmony, not understood;
All partial evil universal good.—Pope.
Supply semi-colons where necessary.
Of the great men by whom Milton had been distinguished at his entrance into life some had been taken away from the evil to come some had carried into foreign climates their unconquerable hatred of oppression some were pining in dungeons and some had poured forth their blood on scaffolds.
Of the great men by whom Milton had been distinguished at his entrance into life some had been taken away from the evil to come some had carried into foreign climates their unconquerable hatred of oppression some were pining in dungeons and some had poured forth their blood on scaffolds.
Then palaces shall rise the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begunTheir vines a shadow to their race shall yieldAnd the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begunTheir vines a shadow to their race shall yieldAnd the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begunTheir vines a shadow to their race shall yieldAnd the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise the joyful son
Shall finish what his short-lived sire begun
Their vines a shadow to their race shall yield
And the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Examples:—Of the great men by whom Milton had been distinguished at his entrance into life, some had been taken away from the evil to come; some had carried into foreign climates their unconquerablehatred of oppression; some were pining in dungeons, and some had poured forth their blood on scaffolds.
Examples:—Of the great men by whom Milton had been distinguished at his entrance into life, some had been taken away from the evil to come; some had carried into foreign climates their unconquerablehatred of oppression; some were pining in dungeons, and some had poured forth their blood on scaffolds.
Then palaces shall rise; the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begun;Their vines a shadow to their race shall yield;And the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise; the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begun;Their vines a shadow to their race shall yield;And the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise; the joyful sonShall finish what his short-lived sire begun;Their vines a shadow to their race shall yield;And the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
Then palaces shall rise; the joyful son
Shall finish what his short-lived sire begun;
Their vines a shadow to their race shall yield;
And the same hand that sowed shall reap the field.—Pope.
TheNote of AdmirationorExclamationis used
1. After Interjections; as,
1. After Interjections; as,
Alas! he is already dead.
Alas! he is already dead.
Alas! he is already dead.
Alas! he is already dead.
2. After a phrase in the nature of an address or exclamation; as,
2. After a phrase in the nature of an address or exclamation; as,
Vital spark of heavenly flame!Quit, oh quit this mortal frame;Trembling, hoping, ling’ring, flying,Oh the pain, the bliss of dying!—Pope.
Vital spark of heavenly flame!Quit, oh quit this mortal frame;Trembling, hoping, ling’ring, flying,Oh the pain, the bliss of dying!—Pope.
Vital spark of heavenly flame!Quit, oh quit this mortal frame;Trembling, hoping, ling’ring, flying,Oh the pain, the bliss of dying!—Pope.
Vital spark of heavenly flame!
Quit, oh quit this mortal frame;
Trembling, hoping, ling’ring, flying,
Oh the pain, the bliss of dying!—Pope.
3. As a mark of surprise; as,
3. As a mark of surprise; as,
Two and two are five!
Two and two are five!
Two and two are five!
Two and two are five!
Prepare the way, a god, a god appears!“A god! a god!” the vocal hills reply.
Prepare the way, a god, a god appears!“A god! a god!” the vocal hills reply.
Prepare the way, a god, a god appears!“A god! a god!” the vocal hills reply.
Prepare the way, a god, a god appears!
“A god! a god!” the vocal hills reply.
Insert notes of exclamation where necessary.
Alas he is already dead. Alas poor Yorick. Tush never tell me that. Well-a-day it is but too true. Tut, tut that is all nonsense. Hey come here. O for a falconer’s voice. Hurrah our side has won. Bravo that was well done. Hush the baby is asleep. Ah the cowards. Oh what beautiful flowers. Heigh-ho I am tired of waiting.
Alas he is already dead. Alas poor Yorick. Tush never tell me that. Well-a-day it is but too true. Tut, tut that is all nonsense. Hey come here. O for a falconer’s voice. Hurrah our side has won. Bravo that was well done. Hush the baby is asleep. Ah the cowards. Oh what beautiful flowers. Heigh-ho I am tired of waiting.
Hush hush mee-ow mee-owWe smell a rat close by.
Hush hush mee-ow mee-owWe smell a rat close by.
Hush hush mee-ow mee-owWe smell a rat close by.
Hush hush mee-ow mee-ow
We smell a rat close by.
Hurrah, hurrah a single field hath turned the chance of warHurrah, hurrah for Ivry and Henry of Navarre
Hurrah, hurrah a single field hath turned the chance of warHurrah, hurrah for Ivry and Henry of Navarre
Hurrah, hurrah a single field hath turned the chance of warHurrah, hurrah for Ivry and Henry of Navarre
Hurrah, hurrah a single field hath turned the chance of war
Hurrah, hurrah for Ivry and Henry of Navarre
Ho maidens of Vienna ho matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep for those who never will return.
Ho maidens of Vienna ho matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep for those who never will return.
Ho maidens of Vienna ho matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep for those who never will return.
Ho maidens of Vienna ho matrons of Lucerne,
Weep, weep for those who never will return.
Examples:—Alas! poor Yorick. Tut, tut! that is all nonsense. Bravo! that was well done, etc.
Examples:—Alas! poor Yorick. Tut, tut! that is all nonsense. Bravo! that was well done, etc.
Ho! maidens of Vienna, ho! matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep! for those who never will return.
Ho! maidens of Vienna, ho! matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep! for those who never will return.
Ho! maidens of Vienna, ho! matrons of Lucerne,Weep, weep! for those who never will return.
Ho! maidens of Vienna, ho! matrons of Lucerne,
Weep, weep! for those who never will return.
AQuotationis said to bedirectwhen the exact words are given; it is said to beindirectwhen the substance is given, but not the exact words; thus:—
Direct quotations.
1. Mr. Brown said, “I am going for a walk.”2. Mrs. Evans writes, “I hope to see you soon.”3. He asked me, “What is your name?”
1. Mr. Brown said, “I am going for a walk.”
2. Mrs. Evans writes, “I hope to see you soon.”
3. He asked me, “What is your name?”
Indirect quotations.
1. Mr. Brown said he was going for a walk.2. Mrs. Evans writes that she hopes to see us soon.3. He asked me what my name was.
1. Mr. Brown said he was going for a walk.
2. Mrs. Evans writes that she hopes to see us soon.
3. He asked me what my name was.
Turn the direct quotations into indirect.
Johnson said, “I am a very fair judge.” “I doubt the story,” observed Mrs. Beckett. “That was not quite what I had in my mind,” answered the widow. “I am very tired,” added Mr. Brown. “That is false,” we all shouted. “You must be a born fool,” shouted the old man to me. “Our host is an inferior person,” he remarked. “Are you better?” inquired she. Some one asked, “Do you mean to stay till to-morrow?” “Little kitten,” I say, “just an hour you may stay.” “I’ll have that mouse,” said the bigger cat. Bun replied, “You are doubtless very big.”Examples:—Johnson said he was a very fair judge. Mrs. Beckett observed that she doubted the story. Some one asked if you mean to stay, etc. Bun replied that he was doubtless very big, etc.
Johnson said, “I am a very fair judge.” “I doubt the story,” observed Mrs. Beckett. “That was not quite what I had in my mind,” answered the widow. “I am very tired,” added Mr. Brown. “That is false,” we all shouted. “You must be a born fool,” shouted the old man to me. “Our host is an inferior person,” he remarked. “Are you better?” inquired she. Some one asked, “Do you mean to stay till to-morrow?” “Little kitten,” I say, “just an hour you may stay.” “I’ll have that mouse,” said the bigger cat. Bun replied, “You are doubtless very big.”
Examples:—Johnson said he was a very fair judge. Mrs. Beckett observed that she doubted the story. Some one asked if you mean to stay, etc. Bun replied that he was doubtless very big, etc.
A direct quotation always begins with a capital letter, and is placed within inverted commas, thus:—
But his little daughter whispered,As she shook his icy hand,“Isn’t God upon the ocean,Just the same as on the land?”
But his little daughter whispered,As she shook his icy hand,“Isn’t God upon the ocean,Just the same as on the land?”
But his little daughter whispered,As she shook his icy hand,“Isn’t God upon the ocean,Just the same as on the land?”
But his little daughter whispered,
As she shook his icy hand,
“Isn’t God upon the ocean,
Just the same as on the land?”
The man said, “Where are you going?”
The man said, “Where are you going?”
The titles of books are generally placed within inverted commas, thus:—
Defoe wrote “Robinson Crusoe.”Thackeray is the author of “Vanity Fair,” “Pendennis,” “Esmond,” “The Newcomes,” and other novels.
Defoe wrote “Robinson Crusoe.”
Thackeray is the author of “Vanity Fair,” “Pendennis,” “Esmond,” “The Newcomes,” and other novels.
Place all direct quotations within inverted commas.
Oh Charley, this is too absurd ejaculated Mrs. Beckett. Why, Mr. Paton must be going mad exclaimed Mrs. Beckett. Oh dear! dear! I can indeed gasped the widow. The butler announced Major and Mrs. Wellington de Boots. You will give mylove to your mother when you write said Mary warmly. He smiled as though he were thinking I have it not to give. The elder replied I was, as usual, unfortunate. How naughty he is said his mother. Do you understand the language of flowers? inquired Uncle Ralph. Why, that is lightning exclaimed the knight. Juan replied Not while this arm is free. He thought The boy will be here soon. Tom broke in with You do not know whom I mean. He will soon be back continued Mr. Brooke. Remember the proverb Small strokes fell great oaks. Provoking scoundrel muttered the antiquary. Out with those boats and let us haste away cried one. Hearts of oak! our captains cried.
Oh Charley, this is too absurd ejaculated Mrs. Beckett. Why, Mr. Paton must be going mad exclaimed Mrs. Beckett. Oh dear! dear! I can indeed gasped the widow. The butler announced Major and Mrs. Wellington de Boots. You will give mylove to your mother when you write said Mary warmly. He smiled as though he were thinking I have it not to give. The elder replied I was, as usual, unfortunate. How naughty he is said his mother. Do you understand the language of flowers? inquired Uncle Ralph. Why, that is lightning exclaimed the knight. Juan replied Not while this arm is free. He thought The boy will be here soon. Tom broke in with You do not know whom I mean. He will soon be back continued Mr. Brooke. Remember the proverb Small strokes fell great oaks. Provoking scoundrel muttered the antiquary. Out with those boats and let us haste away cried one. Hearts of oak! our captains cried.
Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag she said.Who touches a hair of yon gray headDies like a dog. March on he said.
Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag she said.Who touches a hair of yon gray headDies like a dog. March on he said.
Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag she said.
Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,
But spare your country’s flag she said.
Who touches a hair of yon gray headDies like a dog. March on he said.
Who touches a hair of yon gray head
Dies like a dog. March on he said.
He woke to hear his sentries shriekTo arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!
He woke to hear his sentries shriekTo arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!
He woke to hear his sentries shriekTo arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!
He woke to hear his sentries shriek
To arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!
Out spake the victor then,As he hailed them o’er the wave,Ye are brothers! ye are men!And we conquer but to save.
Out spake the victor then,As he hailed them o’er the wave,Ye are brothers! ye are men!And we conquer but to save.
Out spake the victor then,As he hailed them o’er the wave,Ye are brothers! ye are men!And we conquer but to save.
Out spake the victor then,
As he hailed them o’er the wave,
Ye are brothers! ye are men!
And we conquer but to save.
Examples:—“Oh! Charley, this is too absurd,” ejaculated Mrs. Beckett. “Why, Mr. Paton must be going mad,” exclaimed Mrs. Beckett. “Hearts of oak!” our captains cried.
Examples:—“Oh! Charley, this is too absurd,” ejaculated Mrs. Beckett. “Why, Mr. Paton must be going mad,” exclaimed Mrs. Beckett. “Hearts of oak!” our captains cried.
“Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag,” she said.
“Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag,” she said.
“Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,But spare your country’s flag,” she said.
“Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,
But spare your country’s flag,” she said.
He woke to hear his sentries shriek,“To arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!”
He woke to hear his sentries shriek,“To arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!”
He woke to hear his sentries shriek,“To arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!”
He woke to hear his sentries shriek,
“To arms! They come! The Greek! The Greek!”
The student should write out all of the above sentences and place the quotation marks where they belong. You have enough examples to guide you.
Sometimes, in the course of a quotation, words are inserted which form no part of the quotation; thus,
“Out with those boats and let us haste away,”Cried one, “ere yet yon sea the bark devours.”
“Out with those boats and let us haste away,”Cried one, “ere yet yon sea the bark devours.”
“Out with those boats and let us haste away,”Cried one, “ere yet yon sea the bark devours.”
“Out with those boats and let us haste away,”
Cried one, “ere yet yon sea the bark devours.”
In such cases every separate part of the quotation is marked off by inverted commas. A capital letter is placed only at the beginning of the quotation, or after a full stop.
Place all direct quotations within inverted commas.
I cannot tell you that replied the young man; it would not be fair to others. It was not answered the other; your house has always seemed like home. But, surely, argued the widow it must be a comfort to feel that. In the meantime said Edgar I will write to you. A common rose, said Uncle Ralph, like common sense and common honesty, is not so very common. Poor faithful old doggie! murmured Mrs. Currie, he thought Tacks was a burglar. Capital house dog! murmured the colonel; I shall never forget how he made poor Heavisides run. Cloudy, sir, said the colonel, cloudy; rain before morning, I think. I don’t see the dog I began; I suppose you found him all right, the other evening. Oh, uncle, pleaded Lilian; don’t talk like that.
I cannot tell you that replied the young man; it would not be fair to others. It was not answered the other; your house has always seemed like home. But, surely, argued the widow it must be a comfort to feel that. In the meantime said Edgar I will write to you. A common rose, said Uncle Ralph, like common sense and common honesty, is not so very common. Poor faithful old doggie! murmured Mrs. Currie, he thought Tacks was a burglar. Capital house dog! murmured the colonel; I shall never forget how he made poor Heavisides run. Cloudy, sir, said the colonel, cloudy; rain before morning, I think. I don’t see the dog I began; I suppose you found him all right, the other evening. Oh, uncle, pleaded Lilian; don’t talk like that.
Little kitten, I say,Just an hour you may stay.
Little kitten, I say,Just an hour you may stay.
Little kitten, I say,Just an hour you may stay.
Little kitten, I say,
Just an hour you may stay.
Agreed, said Ching, but let us try it soon:Suppose we say to-morrow afternoon.They’re there, said Chang, if I see anythingAs clear as day-light.
Agreed, said Ching, but let us try it soon:Suppose we say to-morrow afternoon.They’re there, said Chang, if I see anythingAs clear as day-light.
Agreed, said Ching, but let us try it soon:Suppose we say to-morrow afternoon.They’re there, said Chang, if I see anythingAs clear as day-light.
Agreed, said Ching, but let us try it soon:
Suppose we say to-morrow afternoon.
They’re there, said Chang, if I see anything
As clear as day-light.
May Heaven look down, the old man criesUpon my son and on his ship.
May Heaven look down, the old man criesUpon my son and on his ship.
May Heaven look down, the old man criesUpon my son and on his ship.
May Heaven look down, the old man cries
Upon my son and on his ship.
Nay, Solomon replied,The wise and strong should seekThe welfare of the weak.Oh king! she said; henceforthThe secret of thy worthAnd wisdom well I know.
Nay, Solomon replied,The wise and strong should seekThe welfare of the weak.Oh king! she said; henceforthThe secret of thy worthAnd wisdom well I know.
Nay, Solomon replied,The wise and strong should seekThe welfare of the weak.
Nay, Solomon replied,
The wise and strong should seek
The welfare of the weak.
Oh king! she said; henceforthThe secret of thy worthAnd wisdom well I know.
Oh king! she said; henceforth
The secret of thy worth
And wisdom well I know.
Examples:—“I cannot tell you that,” replied the young man; “it would not be fair to others.” “It was not,” answered the other; “your house has always seemed like home.”
Examples:—“I cannot tell you that,” replied the young man; “it would not be fair to others.” “It was not,” answered the other; “your house has always seemed like home.”
“Little kitten,” I say,“Just an hour you may stay.”
“Little kitten,” I say,“Just an hour you may stay.”
“Little kitten,” I say,“Just an hour you may stay.”
“Little kitten,” I say,
“Just an hour you may stay.”
“May Heaven look down,” the old man cries,“Upon my son and on his ship.”
“May Heaven look down,” the old man cries,“Upon my son and on his ship.”
“May Heaven look down,” the old man cries,“Upon my son and on his ship.”
“May Heaven look down,” the old man cries,
“Upon my son and on his ship.”
When double inverted commas are used for an ordinary quotation, a quotation within a quotation is marked by single inverted commas; thus,
Miriam sang, “The enemy said, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil.’”
Miriam sang, “The enemy said, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil.’”
Place all direct quotations within inverted commas.
Mr. Brocklehurst said When I asked him which he would rather have, a gingerbread nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn he says Oh the verse of a Psalm: angels sing Psalms. He continued, On her return she exclaimed Oh, dear Papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood look. I shall remember I said how you thrust me back though I cried out Have mercy! Have mercy, Aunt Reed. The father said Remember the proverb Keep not evil men company lest you increase the number. But said the lecturer you must note the words of ShakespeareSpirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.The teacher asked in what play do the words All the world’s a stage occur? My sister writes in her last letter Will you please get me a copy of the song Tell me, my heart. In a poem on Dr. South preaching before Charles II. we readThe doctor stopped, began to call,Pray wake the Earl of Lauderdale.Examples:—He continued, “On her return she exclaimed, ‘Oh! dear Papa, how quiet and plain all girls at Lowood look.’” “But,” said the lecturer, “you must note the words of Shakespeare,‘Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.’”
Mr. Brocklehurst said When I asked him which he would rather have, a gingerbread nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn he says Oh the verse of a Psalm: angels sing Psalms. He continued, On her return she exclaimed Oh, dear Papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood look. I shall remember I said how you thrust me back though I cried out Have mercy! Have mercy, Aunt Reed. The father said Remember the proverb Keep not evil men company lest you increase the number. But said the lecturer you must note the words of Shakespeare
Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.
Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.
Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.
Spirits are not finely touched
But to fine issues.
The teacher asked in what play do the words All the world’s a stage occur? My sister writes in her last letter Will you please get me a copy of the song Tell me, my heart. In a poem on Dr. South preaching before Charles II. we read
The doctor stopped, began to call,Pray wake the Earl of Lauderdale.
The doctor stopped, began to call,Pray wake the Earl of Lauderdale.
The doctor stopped, began to call,Pray wake the Earl of Lauderdale.
The doctor stopped, began to call,
Pray wake the Earl of Lauderdale.
Examples:—He continued, “On her return she exclaimed, ‘Oh! dear Papa, how quiet and plain all girls at Lowood look.’” “But,” said the lecturer, “you must note the words of Shakespeare,
‘Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.’”
‘Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.’”
‘Spirits are not finely touchedBut to fine issues.’”
‘Spirits are not finely touched
But to fine issues.’”
Acolon(:) is used to separate parts of a sentence that are complete in themselves and nearly independent, often taking the place of a conjunction, thus:—
Labor is the first great law: labor is good for man.
Labor is the first great law: labor is good for man.
Aperiod(.) brings the sentence to a full stop, thus:—
He rode down the valley, over the hill, and finally coming to a farmhouse, there he stopped.
He rode down the valley, over the hill, and finally coming to a farmhouse, there he stopped.
You now come to a very important part of these exercises. You are to turn to practical account what you have learned concerning Punctuation. Write the lines that follow, and make good sense by dividing them into sentences and placing the punctuation marks where they belong. Take time for this and do it thoroughly.
The following Example will aid you in carrying out your instructions. The sentences are first printed without punctuation. I then construct the sentences and give them punctuation marks:
The smoke from the Spanish fleet rose above the headlands of Santiago Harbor are they coming out I shouted to Fowler aye sir there they come he cried instantly we took in the situation and being ready for battle stood to our guns did you ask if it was a hot chase well our captains gunners and marines can answer that what thunder of guns our victory was complete the President cabled congratulations.Divided into sentences and punctuated, you have the following: The smoke from the Spanish fleet rose above the headlands of Santiago Harbor. “Are they coming out?” I shouted to Fowler. “Aye, sir, there they come,” he cried. Instantly we took in the situation, and, being ready for battle, stood to our guns. Did you ask if it was a hot chase? Well, our captains, gunners and marines can answer that. What thunder of guns! Our victory was complete; the President cabled congratulations.
The smoke from the Spanish fleet rose above the headlands of Santiago Harbor are they coming out I shouted to Fowler aye sir there they come he cried instantly we took in the situation and being ready for battle stood to our guns did you ask if it was a hot chase well our captains gunners and marines can answer that what thunder of guns our victory was complete the President cabled congratulations.
Divided into sentences and punctuated, you have the following: The smoke from the Spanish fleet rose above the headlands of Santiago Harbor. “Are they coming out?” I shouted to Fowler. “Aye, sir, there they come,” he cried. Instantly we took in the situation, and, being ready for battle, stood to our guns. Did you ask if it was a hot chase? Well, our captains, gunners and marines can answer that. What thunder of guns! Our victory was complete; the President cabled congratulations.
Insert the necessary stops and capital letters.
Mr. Rich had much money and little politeness he thought it beneath him to be civil to ordinary people one wet day he was driving in his carriage along a turnpike road when he came to the toll gate he called out what’s to pay five cents if you please sir said the keeper Mr. Rich instead of handing the money rudely flung a quarter on the muddy ground and cried there take your change out of that the keeper stooped for the quarter and picked it up then placing twenty cents exactly on the same spot he coolly walked back into his cottage.The statement is beyond doubt true. They set out and in a few hours arrived at their father’s. We live in an old beautiful and interesting town. Sir I believe you. He is guilty of the vice of cowards falsehood. The horse tired with the long gallop could go no further. Yes I am coming. Nay you are wrong. Philosophers assert that nature is unlimited in her operations that she has inexhaustible treasures in reserve that knowledge will always be progressive and that all future generations will continue to make discoveries of which we have not the least idea. Is this the gray-haired wanderer mildly said the voice which we so lately overheard Hark ’tis the twanging horn. O what a fall was there my countrymen Oh why has worth so short a date Such inquiry according to him was out of their province. The conflict was terrible it was the combat of despair against grief and rage.
Mr. Rich had much money and little politeness he thought it beneath him to be civil to ordinary people one wet day he was driving in his carriage along a turnpike road when he came to the toll gate he called out what’s to pay five cents if you please sir said the keeper Mr. Rich instead of handing the money rudely flung a quarter on the muddy ground and cried there take your change out of that the keeper stooped for the quarter and picked it up then placing twenty cents exactly on the same spot he coolly walked back into his cottage.
The statement is beyond doubt true. They set out and in a few hours arrived at their father’s. We live in an old beautiful and interesting town. Sir I believe you. He is guilty of the vice of cowards falsehood. The horse tired with the long gallop could go no further. Yes I am coming. Nay you are wrong. Philosophers assert that nature is unlimited in her operations that she has inexhaustible treasures in reserve that knowledge will always be progressive and that all future generations will continue to make discoveries of which we have not the least idea. Is this the gray-haired wanderer mildly said the voice which we so lately overheard Hark ’tis the twanging horn. O what a fall was there my countrymen Oh why has worth so short a date Such inquiry according to him was out of their province. The conflict was terrible it was the combat of despair against grief and rage.
In the preceding pages you have been advised to practice the writing of compositions by reading the productions of authors, and then writing from memory what you have read. This may not be easy at first. You will, however, find it less difficult as you proceed. You could not become an expert typewriter or pianist without faithful practice, yet we have expert typewriters and pianists.
It is so with learning to express your thoughts in writing. What is hard at first becomes “second nature” afterward. I have prepared some helpful rules and examples to aid you.
When writing a Story which you have read or heard, observe the following directions:—
1. Before beginning to write, think over the whole story, to make sure that you remember all the points, and the order in which they come.
Neglect of this direction may cause you to omit something or to put something in the wrong place.
Neglect of this direction may cause you to omit something or to put something in the wrong place.
2. Before beginning to write each sentence, arrange the whole of it in your mind.
If you neglect this direction you may find that the second part of a sentence goes badly with the first, or that you cannot finish at all a sentence such as you have begun. Here is an example:—I am desired to inform the Board of Aldermen that Mr. Alderman Gill died last nightby order of Mrs. Gill.The words printed in italics could not have been in the mind of the writer when he began, or he would have placed them afterdesired, or (better still) he would have said, “I am desired by Mrs. Gill, etc.”
If you neglect this direction you may find that the second part of a sentence goes badly with the first, or that you cannot finish at all a sentence such as you have begun. Here is an example:—
I am desired to inform the Board of Aldermen that Mr. Alderman Gill died last nightby order of Mrs. Gill.
The words printed in italics could not have been in the mind of the writer when he began, or he would have placed them afterdesired, or (better still) he would have said, “I am desired by Mrs. Gill, etc.”
3. Make short sentences.
Beware of usingandandsotoo much. Avoid such a sentence as the following:Once upon a time there was a fox and he went into a vineyard and there he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high and he tried to reach them and he could not jump high enough and so he turned to go and said “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”Such a sentence ought to be divided into several; thus:—A fox once went into a vineyard. There he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high. He tried to reach them, but found that he could not jump high enough. As he turned to go he said, “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”The following sentence has several faults besides its length:—He [Swinton] did with a sort of eloquence that moved the whole House lay out all his own errors and the ill spirit he was in when he committed the things that were charged on him with so tender a sense that he seemed as one indifferent what they should do with him, and without so much as moving for mercy or even for a delay he did so effectually prevail on them that they recommended him to the king as a fit object of his mercy.—Burnet:History of his Own Time.It is amended somewhat by division into shorter sentences, thus:—With a sort of eloquence that moved the whole House, he did lay out all his own errors and the ill spirit that he was in when he committed the things that were charged on him. He spoke with so tender a sense that he seemed as one indifferent what they should do with him. Without so much as moving for mercy or even for a delay, he did so effectually prevail on them that they recommended him to the king as a fit object for mercy.
Beware of usingandandsotoo much. Avoid such a sentence as the following:
Once upon a time there was a fox and he went into a vineyard and there he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high and he tried to reach them and he could not jump high enough and so he turned to go and said “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”
Such a sentence ought to be divided into several; thus:—
A fox once went into a vineyard. There he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high. He tried to reach them, but found that he could not jump high enough. As he turned to go he said, “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”
The following sentence has several faults besides its length:—
He [Swinton] did with a sort of eloquence that moved the whole House lay out all his own errors and the ill spirit he was in when he committed the things that were charged on him with so tender a sense that he seemed as one indifferent what they should do with him, and without so much as moving for mercy or even for a delay he did so effectually prevail on them that they recommended him to the king as a fit object of his mercy.—Burnet:History of his Own Time.
It is amended somewhat by division into shorter sentences, thus:—
With a sort of eloquence that moved the whole House, he did lay out all his own errors and the ill spirit that he was in when he committed the things that were charged on him. He spoke with so tender a sense that he seemed as one indifferent what they should do with him. Without so much as moving for mercy or even for a delay, he did so effectually prevail on them that they recommended him to the king as a fit object for mercy.
4. Use no word of which you do not know the exact meaning.
Neglect of this rule led some one to write:At the dedication of the Gettysburg Monument, President Lincoln gave theovation.
Neglect of this rule led some one to write:
At the dedication of the Gettysburg Monument, President Lincoln gave theovation.
5. Do not use long words if you can find short ones.
The barber who advertised himself as “a first-class tonsorial artist and facial operator,” meant only that he could cut hair and shave well.
The barber who advertised himself as “a first-class tonsorial artist and facial operator,” meant only that he could cut hair and shave well.
6. Arrange the different parts of each sentence so that they convey the meaning which you intend.
The following sentence is badly arranged:—He tells stories which Mountain would be shocked to hear after dinner.—Thackeray:The Virginians.Mountain would be shocked to hear them at any time. To convey the author’s meaning the sentence should be:—After dinner he tells stories which Mountain would be shocked to hear.
The following sentence is badly arranged:—
He tells stories which Mountain would be shocked to hear after dinner.—Thackeray:The Virginians.
Mountain would be shocked to hear them at any time. To convey the author’s meaning the sentence should be:—
After dinner he tells stories which Mountain would be shocked to hear.
7. When you have written your story, always read it over, and correct all the mistakes which you can find.
A fox that had fallen into a well tried in vain to get out again. By-and-by a goat came to the place to quench her thirst. Seeing the fox below she asked if the water was good. “Yes,” answered the cunning creature, “it is so good that I cannot leave off drinking.” Thereupon the goat, without a moment’s thought, jumped in. The fox at once scrambled on her back and got out. Then, looking down at the poor fool, he said coolly, “If you had half as much brains as beard, you would look before you leap.”
A vain jackdaw found some peacocks’ feathers and stuck them amongst his own. Then he left his old companions and boldly went amongst the peacocks. They knew him at once, in spite of his disguise; so they stripped off his borrowed plumes, pecked him well, and sent him about his business. He went back to the daws as if nothing had happened, but they would not allow him to mix with them. If he was too good for them before, they were too good for him now. Thus the silly bird, by trying to appear better than he was, lost his old friends without making any new ones.
One frosty day a grasshopper, half dead with cold and hunger, knocked at the door of an ant, and begged for something to eat. “What were you doing in the summer?” asked the ant. “Oh, I was singing all the time.” “Then,” said the ant, “if you could sing all the summer you may dance all the winter.”
A wolf, coming to a brook to drink, saw a lamb standing in the stream, some distance down. He made up his mind to kill her, and at once set about finding an excuse. “Villain,” he said, “how dare you dirty the water which I am drinking?” The lamb answered meekly, “Sir, it is impossible for me to dirty the water which you are drinking, because the stream runs from you to me, not from me to you.” “Be that as it may,” replied the wolf, “you called me bad names a year ago.” “Sir,” pleaded the lamb, “you are mistaken; a year ago I was not born.” “Then,” said the hungry beast, “if it was not you it was your father, and that is as bad. It is of no use trying to argue me out of my supper.” Thereupon he fell upon the poor creature and ate her up.
As two friends were traveling through a wood, a bear rushed out upon them. One of the men without a thought to his companion, climbed up into a tree, and hid among the branches. The other, knowing that alone he had no chance, threw himself on the ground, and pretended to be dead; for he had heard that bears will not touch a dead body. The creature came and sniffed him from head to foot, but, thinking him to be lifeless, went away without harming him. Then the man in the tree got down, and, hoping to pass his cowardice off with a joke, he said, “I noticed that the bear had his mouth very close to your ear; what did he whisper to you?” “Oh,” answered the other, “he only told me never to keep company with those who in time of danger leave their friends in the lurch.”
A farmer who had just sown his fields placed a net to catch the cranes that came to steal his corn. After some time he went to look at the net, and in it he found several cranes and one stork. “Oh, sir, please spare me,” said the stork; “I am not a crane, I am an innocent stork, kind to my parents, and——” The farmer would hear no more. “All that may be very true,” he said, “but it is no business of mine. I found you amongst thieves, and you must suffer with them.”
A woodman was working beside a deep river when his axe slipped, and fell into the water. As the axe was his living, he was very sorry to lose it, and sat on the bank to weep. Mercury, hearing his cries, appeared to him, and, finding what was the matter, dived, and brought up a golden axe. “Is this the one which you lost?” asked the god. “No,” said the woodman. Then the god dived a second time, and brought up a silver axe, and asked if that was the one. The woodman again answered “No.” So Mercury dived a third time, and then he brought up the axe which had been lost. “That is mine,” cried the woodman joyfully. The god gave it to him, and presented him with the other two as a reward for his truth and honesty.
One of the woodman’s neighbors, hearing what had happened, determined to see if he could not have the same good luck. He went to the bank of the river, began to fell a tree, purposely let his axe slip into the water, and then pretended to cry. Mercury appeared as before, dived, and brought up a golden axe. The man, in his eagerness to grasp the prize, forgot to act as his neighbor had done; so when the god asked, “Is that yours?” he answered “Yes.” To punish him for his lying and dishonesty, the god would neither give him the golden axe nor find his own.
Dr. Johnson always spoke scornfully of actors and actresses, but he treated the famous actress, Mrs. Siddons, with great politeness. She called on him, and his servant could not readily find a chair for her. “You see, madam,” said the doctor, “wherever you go no seats can be got.”
An ignorant Englishman once visited Paris. After his return he was talking to some of his friends about the wonders he had seen. “I was most surprised,” he said, “with the cleverness of the children. Boys and girls of seven or eight spoke French quite as easily as the children in this country speak English.”
A Cambridge student sent to another student to borrow a book. “I never lend my books out,” was the answer, “but if the gentleman chooses to come to my rooms he may use them there.” A few days after the book owner sent to the other student to borrow a carpet sweeper. “I never lend my carpet sweeper,” replied he, “but if the gentleman chooses to come to my rooms he may use it there.”
A rich farmer sent his son to a famous university. The young man was rather foolish, and brought home more folly than learning. One night, when there were two fowls for supper, he said, “I can prove these two fowls to be three.” “Let us hear,” answered the old man. “This,” said the scholar, pointing to the first, “is one; this,” pointing to the second, “is two; and two and one make three.” “Since you have made it out so well,” replied the father, “your mother shall have the first fowl, I will have the second, and you may keep the third for your great learning.”
A Dutch vessel and an English vessel were lying near each other. One of the Dutch sailors wished to show his activity, so he ran up the mast, and stood upon his head on the top of it. One of the English sailors (who did not like to be beaten by a Dutchman) also tried to stand upon his head on the top of the mast. He, however, fell. The rigging broke his fall and he alighted on the deck unhurt. “There, you lubber,” he cried, “do that if you dare.”
A very miserly planter formerly lived in the island of Jamaica. He often gave his poor slaves too little food. They complained, and he answered that he could not help himself, because the provision ships had been taken by pirates. This lying excuse satisfied them once, twice, thrice, and again, but in the end long fasting made them impatient. Then they went to their master and said to him, “Is it not strange that the pirates have so often taken the ships bringing food, but have never taken the ships bringing pickaxes and hoes?”
Before Louis the Eleventh became king he used to visit a peasant whose garden produced excellent fruit. After his accession, the peasant brought him as a present a very large turnip which had grown in his garden. The king, remembering the pleasant hours that he had spent under the old man’s roof, gave him a thousand crowns. The lord of the village, hearing of this, thought that if one who gave a paltry turnip received so large a reward, one who gave a really valuable present would receive a still larger reward. He, therefore, offered a splendid horse. The king accepted it and, calling for the big turnip, said, “This cost me a thousand crowns; I give it to you in return for your horse.”
A carpenter asked a sailor, “Where did your father die?” The sailor answered, “My father, my grandfather, and my great-grandfather were all drowned at sea.” “Then,” said the carpenter, “are you not afraid of going to sea, lest you should be drowned too?” Instead of replying, the sailor asked, “Where did your father die?” “In his bed.” “And your grandfather?” “In his bed.” “And your great-grandfather?” “In his bed also.” “Then,” said the sailor, “why should I be more afraid of going to sea than you are of going to bed?”
A Scotch minister had in his parish a man who sometimes used to get drunk. One day the minister, reproving him for his bad habit, said, “You love whisky too much, Donald; you know very well that it is your worst enemy.” “But,” answered the man slily, “have you not often told us that we ought to love our enemies?” “True, Donald, but I never told you that you ought to swallow them.”
During the long struggle between England and France, two ignorant old ladies were discussing the war as they went to church. One said, “Is it not wonderful that the English always beat the French?” “Not at all,” answered the other; “don’t you know that the English always say their prayers before going into battle?” “But,” replied the first, “can’t the French say their prayers as well?” “Tut, tut,” said the second; “poor jabbering bodies, who can understand them?”
When David Dewar was a member of the Prison Board the question of appointing a chaplain for the jail came up. The favorite candidate of the other members of the Board was an unsuccessful clergyman. David, when asked to vote for him, said, “I have no objection; I hear that he has already preached a church empty, and if he will only preach the jail empty too, he is just the man for our money.”
A Scotch squire was one day riding out with his man. Opposite a hole in a steep bank the master stopped and said, “John, I saw a badger go in there.” “Did you?” said John; “will you hold my horse, sir?” “Certainly,” answered the squire, and away rushed John for a spade. He got one and dug furiously for half an hour, the squire looking on with an amused look. At last John exclaimed, “I can’t find him, sir.” “I should be surprised if you could,” said the squire, “for it is ten years since I saw him go in.”
A boy went into a baker’s shop and bought a five-cent loaf. It seemed to him rather small, so he said that he did not believe it to be of full weight. “Never mind,” answered the baker, “you will have the less to carry.” “True,” replied the lad, and throwing four cents on the counter he left the shop. The baker called after him, “Hi! this is not enough money.” “Never mind,” said the boy, “you will have the less to count.”
A corporal in the life-guards of Frederick the Great was a brave but rather vain fellow. He could not afford a watch, but managed to buy a chain, and this he wore with a bullet at the end. The king, hearing of this, thought he would have a little fun at the soldier’s expense, so he said to him, “It is six o’clock by my watch; what time is it by yours?” The man drew the bullet from his pocket and answered, “My watch does not mark the hour, but it tells me every moment that it is my duty to face death for your Majesty.” “Here, my friend,” said Frederick, offering him his own costly watch, “take this, that you may be able to tell the hour also.”
When the Earl of Stair was ambassador in Holland he was once at a banquet with the French and Austrian ambassadors. The Frenchman proposed the health of his master, calling him, “The Sun.” The Austrian then proposed the health of his mistress, calling her “The Moon.” The Earl of Stair was equal to the occasion, for when his turn came he proposed the health of his sovereign as “Joshua, who made the sun and moon to stand still.”
A Scotch clergyman had a youth in his congregation who was underwitted, and was commonly spoken of as being half daft. One Sunday the clergyman observed that all his hearers were asleep except this youth. After the service the minister congratulated him upon being awake, when he naively replied, “Maybe if I hadn’t been half daft I would have been asleep too.”
A little girl complained to her brother that a boy had struck her. “Why did you not strike back?” he asked. “O,” said the innocent creature, “I did that before he hit me.”