Chapter 2

CHARACTERS.BERTHA.EVA.DOROTHEA.FANNY.

Allentering together.

Bertha.—Are we very late, Miss Dobson?

(Looking round them.)

Dorothea.—Why, there is nobody here!

Fanny.—Where can she be?

Eva.—Perhaps she is late.

B.—Miss Dobson is never late.

F.—What is that letter on the table? Why, it's her writing! It's a letter from Miss Dobson!

F.—With our names written on it!

D.—It must be to say why she has not come.

B.—Quick! Let's open it.

E.—(Snatches at it.) No, no, I'll open it.

D.—Let us all open it together, and read it at the same time.

All.—Capital!

(They all rush at the letter which they tear in two.)

D.—Now, then, what shall we do?

B.—We shall have so much less to read.

E.—Let us see what is on this piece.

All.—(Reading together.) "My dear children, I am obliged to go off to Clapham by the ten o'clock train, to see my mother who is ill."

D.—Go to Clapham!

F.—By the ten o'clock train!

B.—To see her mother who is ill!

E.—Oh, how delightful!

B.—How delightful that her mother should be ill?

E.—No, of course not. I mean, how terrible!

All.—Poor Miss Dobson's mother!

D.—Come, let us see what else she says.

All.—(Reading.) "I shall not be back until the evening."

F.—She won't be back until the evening!

E.—We shall have a holiday then! (All dancing round.) A holiday! A holiday!

D.—Here's the other piece of the letter which we haven't read.

(They pick it up and read it.)

D.—(Reading.) "I hope you will be good children, and work by yourselves."

All.—Work by ourselves!

D.—(Reading.) "You can prepare your German, history, and geography, and do some drawing and practising."

F.—I never heard such a thing.

B.—I do call that a shame!

D.—It's horrid doing one's lessons alone.

E.—But still, it's nice not being scolded when one makes mistakes.

F.—I am quite sure I can't do my geography alone, because I never can find the additional towns on the map.

E.—Besides, Mamma does not like us to bend over the atlas, she says it is bad for the eyes.

D.—As for the drawing, we certainly can't do it, because Miss Dobson has got the key of the cupboard, where the soft pencils are.

B.—And as for the German, I never can find the words in the dictionary.

E.—And I certainly can't practise alone, because I never know where to put my thumb in the scale of F sharp minor.

F.—And I never know where to put my little finger in the scale of B.

D.—Then the only thing we can do alone is the history.

B.—And there will be quite time enough for that this afternoon.

F.—Then, in that case, we have our whole morning free.

B.—Oh, how delightful!

E.—Let's play at hide-and-seek.

F.—You all hide, and I'll come and look for you.

(Hides herfacein her hands. The others go towards the door. A bell is heard. They stop.)

F.—(Uncovering her eyes.) A bell!

E.—Who can it be?

(They listen.)

E.—Suppose it were Miss Dobson!

B.—I'll go and see.

(Exit.)

F.—What shall we say if it is Miss Dobson?

D.—That we were going to play at hide-and-seek instead of doing our lessons!

E.—The point is, what will she say!

D.—She'll say a good deal.

Re-enterBertha.

B.—It is Miss Dobson! Her mother is much better. Her sister sent a telegram, and so she did not go to Clapham after all.

F.—What shall we do?

D.—Let's go and tell her how glad we are she has such good news.

B.—Yes, and let's ask for a holiday to celebrate her mother's recovery.

F.—Excellent! Let's go and meet her.

(They rush out to meet her, calling, "Miss Dobson! Miss Dobson!")

CHARACTERS.ELSIE.MARY.FANNY.

Elsie.—Isn't it delightful that Fanny is coming from London to spend the day with us.

Mary.—Indeed it is. We must show her everything as soon as she comes.

E.—Yes, directly—and the first thing must be the wigwam.

M.—Of course it must, and we will tell her all about it, and that it is our own hut in the garden that we have arranged ourselves.

E.—Or shall we make her guess who made it?

M.—Oh yes! That would be lovely! We will take her there, and tell her to shut her eyes quite tight.

E.—Then she won't be able to see the wigwam.

M.—No, that's true. Then she must have them shut all the way through the garden.

E.—And when she gets there, we will say: "Open your eyes, and guess whose wigwam this is".

M.—And, when she has guessed that, we will say: "Now guess who painted it".

E.—And, when she has guessed that, we will say: "Now guess who furnished it".

M.—And, when she has guessed that, we'll say: "Guess who papered it".

E.—She'll be rather stupid if she does not guess that time whose it is.

M.—But, you know, little girls from London are very often stupid, when they come into the country.

E.—That's true. Do you remember when Amy came, she did not know the difference between a goose and a duck?

M.—And she was afraid of the turkey-cock!

E.—And she looked at an oak, and said how very small the chestnuts were!

M.—There's the door-bell. There they are! Now, mind, I am the eldest, so I shall say: "Now, I am going to show you the wigwam" as soon as she comes in.

E.—Before we shake hands?

M.—No! no! After we shake hands.

E.—I think I ought to say it too, you know.

M.—It would be absurd both saying it together, she won't understand.

E.—Oh, yes! she will, if we say it loud and slowly, like this, now then you say it with me (both together): We-are-going-to-show-you-the-wigwam!!

M.—Capital! There she is!

EnterFanny.

E. and M.—(Running round her.) How do you do? How do you do?

(Fannysmoothes her dress which they have crumpled.ElsieandMarylook at each other.)

E. and M.—(Together.) We are going to show you the wigwam. (Very loud and distinctly.)

(Fannyputs her hands over her ears.)

F.—Oh, how loudly you talk! One at a time, if you please. It makes me ill when you shout like that.

E.—We said we were going to show you the wigwam.

F.—What's that? I hate insects.

M.—It isn't an insect! it's a hut in the garden.

F.—That's not so bad. Dear me! how tired I am. (Looks round for a chair.)

E.—(Giving her a chair.) What has tired you so much?

F.—Why, we walked all the way from the station.

M.—The station! Why, it's barely five minutes from here.

F.—I don't care how long it is, it tired me all the same.

E.—We'll go to the wigwam when you are rested.

F.—How far is it?

M.—Just across the garden, on the other side of the lawn.

F.—If I walk across the grass I shall get my feet wet.

E.—Then we'll go by the gravel walk, it's only a few seconds longer.

F.—If I walk on the gravel I shall spoil my kid boots.

M.—You ought to have strong boots like ours for the country.

F.—I can't bear those clumsy boots!

E.—Then how are you going to get to the wigwam?

F.—Why should we go there at all?

M.—Because we wanted to show it to you.

F.—Why?

M.—We want you to guess who furnished it.

F.—The carpenter, I suppose, or the upholsterer, or whoever does those things.

M.—No, we did it.

F.—You!

M.—We papered and painted it all ourselves.

F.—Oh how disgusting!

E.—Disgusting! it was delightful. We did it with paste and with Aspinall.

M.—I love Aspinall.

F.—I don't. I hate having paint on my fingers.

E.—And the paste is quite clean—it's only flour and water.

F.—Flour and water! Ugh! I can't bear things that make one's fingers sticky.

E.—After all, it is very easy to wash off.

F.—I don't like to wash my hands too often, it spoils my skin.

E.—Besides, of course,youneed not touch either the paste or the paint.

F.—What shall I do then?

E.—You shall sit down and look round you.

F.—Sit on what?

E.—On an old packing-case covered with chintz! You have no idea what a comfortable seat it makes.

F.—A packing-case! I am sure there would be nails in it that would catch on my dress. I would rather sit in the house on a proper chair.

E.—But you surely don't want to stay in all day, when the sun is shining like this?

F.—That's just it, I don't like to sit in the sun. I shall get freckled.

M.—Do you like to be out in the damp, then?

F.—Oh no, indeed! It takes the curl out of my hair.

M.—What shall we do, then? It's so dull sitting in here.

F.—Very! but I knew before I came it would be dull.

M.—(Aside.) Isn't she rude!

E.—(Aside.) Hush! (ToFanny.) I'll tell you what we will do. We'll go into the poultry-yard, it is shady there.

F.—Well, what is there to see in the poultry-yard?

E.—Oh, all sorts of things. We can look for eggs and bring in some for breakfast.

F.—I think the servants ought to do that.

M.—Or we can feed the hens.

F.—I wouldn't for worlds! I hate things that come flapping and pecking round my feet.

M.—Then let's go into the stable and we will show you our ponies.

F.—Oh, no! Stables are so smelly, I can't bear them.

E.—Well, is there anything you would like to do? What do you do in London?

F.—I like driving through the streets in an open carriage and looking at the shops.

M.—In that case, you had better have remained in London, as there are no streets here and no shops.

F.—Very well! I shall go and tell my mother that I want to go back.

M.—You had better! (ExitFanny r.) Come, Elsie, let us go to the wigwam.

(They go outL.)

CHARACTERS.JACK.HIS MOTHER.

Mother.—(Alone.) Jack! Jack! Where is the boy? He can never stay in the house. He must always be running round to all the neighbours. Ah, there he is at last!

EnterJack.

J.—Well, mother, how are you?

M.—I was getting anxious about you. Where have you been all this time?

J.—Oh, I've been seeing the neighbours.

M.—I thought as much. Which neighbours?

J.—First I went to see Father Clumpylump.

M.—Indeed! Father Clumpylump! Honest man! And what did he say to you?

J.—He gave me a needle for a present.

M.—A most useful present! Where is it?

J.—I stuck it into a bundle of hay that was standing in a cart, and then I could not find it again.

M.—I should think not, indeed! You ought to have stuck it into your sleeve.

J.—That's just what Father Clumpylump said.

M.—And he was quite right. And then?

J.—Then I went to call on Goody Grumbles.

M.—Indeed! Goody Grumbles, dear, old soul! And what had she to say?

J.—Not much; but she gave me a knife.

M.—A knife! Another most useful present! Where is it, then?

J.—I stuck it into my sleeve, and it fell out on the way.

M.—Of course it did. You ought to have put it into your pocket.

J.—That'sjust what Goody Grumbles said.

M.—And she was quite right. And then?

J.—And then I went to see Uncle Crabstick.

M.—Uncle Crabstick! Did he give you anything?

J.—Yes, he gave me a lamb.

M.—A lamb! How delightful! Where is it, then?

J.—I crammed it into my pocket, and it was stifled.

M.—I should think it was! Into your pocket! Good heavens! Whoever thought of putting a lamb into his pocket! You should have tied a rope round its neck and led it carefully along.

J.—That's just what Uncle Crabstick said.

M.—I should think he did! And then?

J.—Then I went to see Auntie Jumblewig.

M.—That was quite right. Did she give you anything?

J.—She gave me a splendid ham.

M.—A ham! Iamglad. Thatwillcome in useful. Where is it?

J.—I tied a rope to it, and led it carefully along the road, but some dogs ate it up while I was not looking.

M.—Of course they did, you foolish boy! You should have carried it on your head.

J.—That's just what Auntie Jumblewig said when she saw me start.

M.—Of course she did! and then?

J.—I went to see Cousin Peter.

M.—Cousin Peter! And what did the good man say to you?

J.—Not much; but he gave me a calf.

M.—A calf! How generous! Where is the calf then?

J.—I tried to carry it on my head, but he kicked my face, so I let him go.

M.—Serve you right! How could you be so foolish as to carry a calf on your head? You should have taken him to the cow-house and settled him in a nice warm corner, with plenty of straw.

J.—That is just what Cousin Peter advised me to do.

M.—He was quite right. And then?

J.—I went to see Rose.

M.—I am glad you went there. Rose is a charming girl. Was she well disposed towards you?

J.—Very. Indeed, she came here with me.

M.—Where is she, then?

J.—I took her to the cow-house, and settled her in a nice, warm corner, with plenty of straw.

M.—In the cow-house! Rose! Wretched boy! You should have brought her into the best parlour, and asked her to marry you.

J.—That's just what she said.

M.—And she was quite right. Quick! Quick! Let us fetch her.

J.—I should like that very much.

M.—Come, then, at once! Oh, you foolish Jack!

(Exeunt.)

CHARACTERS.MRS. VERNON.JANET.RALPH.

Mrs. Vernon.—(Alone at writing table.) What a long time it is since the children have been into the room! It must be nearly five minutes! They don't seem to be having as many "good ideas" to-day as they generally do. So I may as well do my accounts. (Begins to add up.) Ah! there they come.

EnterRalphandJanet,hurriedly.

Janet.—Mammy! Mammy!

Ralph.—We have such a good idea.

Mother.—(I thought so!) What is it?

J.—We're going to surprise you very much.

M.—Are you? How delightful!

R.—We're going to invite you to a tea party of our very own!

J.—We are going to get it ready and arrange it quite by ourselves!

R.—Isn't that a lovely idea?

M.—It is, indeed.

J.—And the surprise is going to be that you are going to receive an invitation from us, just like the real invitations you get from your friends.

M.—I see!

R.—But the thing that will surprise you most will be that we are going to do it ourselves, won't it?

M.—(Smiling.) Yes, I must say that will be the most surprising thing of all.

R.—Then, first, here's the invitation.

M.—Oh, this is most exciting. (Reads.) "Ralph and Janet request the pleasure of your company at their very own tea-party on Wednesday afternoon."

R.—Isn't that a surprise for you, Mammy?

M.—It is, indeed, most astonishing. Now I must answer this, I suppose?

J.—Of course you must, just as if you were writing to strangers, you must end it "your loving Mrs. Vernon," or something stiff of that sort.

R.—Of course you mustn't put "your affectionate Mother," as you do when you really write to us, you know.

M.—Not for worlds! Now, then, I had better write the letter, and then do my accounts, while you get the tea ready.

R.—Oh, yes, that will be delightful.

(Goes to writing-table.RalphandJanetdiscuss in a low voice, looking round them helplessly.)

R.—(Aside toJanet.) We had better ask Mammy, I think.

J.—Much better.

R.—(Aloud.) Mammy, there is just one thing we want to ask you.

M.—Yes? What is it?

J.—Where do you think we had better have tea?

M.—Wherever you like. What do you say to the dining-room?

R.—The dining-room is so common.

M.—You may have it in here if you like.

J.—Oh, that would be the very thing!

R.—What table shall we have it on?

M.—(Looking round.) Let me see—would that one do?

R.—Oh, beautifully. Thank you so much, Mammy.

(They pull out the table and open it, while the mother writes.)

J.—Now, what next?

R.—The cloth, of course.

J.—I wonder where we can get one.

R.—Mammy!

M.—Well?

R.—What about a table-cloth?

M.—Hadn't you better ask Susan for one of the dining-room ones?

R.—Susan is always cross when we ask her for that kind of thing, she seems to think we make jam and cocoa stains on the table-cloths.

M.—Dear me, I wonder what can make her think that?

R.—I think it must be because Janet always spills the jam at breakfast.

J.—You needn't talk, for once you dropped a whole cutlet on to your knicker-bockers.

R.—But as we are not going to have cutlets, you needn't talk about it now.

M.—I don't think people ought to quarrel when they're giving a tea-party.

R.—No, we'll quarrel after tea, we're too busy now.

J.—Much!

R.—Well, what about the table-cloth, then?

M.—If you don't want to ask Susan I might lend you that embroidered five o'clock tea-cloth which I bought at the bazaar the other day.

R.—Oh, that would be the very thing! May we have it?

M.—Yes, if you like, it is in that drawer.

R.—Which drawer?

M.—The bottom one.

(Ralphopens the top one.Janetand he look in and look wonderingly at each other, and then shake their heads.)

R.—Mammy, we can't find it.

M.—Are you quite sure you are looking in the right drawer?

R.—Quite. You said the top drawer, didn't you?

M.—No. I said the bottom drawer.

R.—Oh, I thought you said the top drawer. (They look in. ToJanet.) I wonder where it can be! (After a moment.) Mammy, I am so very sorry—we can't find it.

M.—(Gets up.) How very odd. I saw it there yesterday. Why, there it is just at the top, you little noodles!

R.—Oh, so it is, I hadn't seen it.

J.—Nor had I.

R.—Thank you so much, Mammy. (She goes back to her writing. ToJanet.) Now, we must have our own cups and saucers out of the toy cupboard.

(They open the toy cupboard, and they both sit down on the ground.Janettakes out a trumpet andRalpha drum. They blow the trumpet and beat the drum.)

M.—(Looking round.) My dear children, is that how you are laying the table?

R.—Oh, Mammy, I am so sorry! I forgot we were getting out our cups and saucers. (Ralphtakes out cups and saucers and gives them toJanet.) Here they are, three cups and three saucers.

J.—Now I'm Susan!

(Janetarranges the cups and saucers close together at one side of the table.)

R.—You stupid girl, that is not how they ought to be arranged. Susan always put them quite apart from each other, and the tea-pot at one end of the table like this.

J.—Do let me have the tea-pot in front of me.

R.—Certainly not, it must be in front of me.

J.—Mammy, don't you think I ought to have the tea-pot in front of me? because I am a girl.

R.—No, I'll have it in front of me, because I am a boy.

M.—Suppose you put it in the middle of the table where you can both reach it. I shall sit at the side like a guest, and you can take turns.

R.—That will be delightful. We will put the tea-pot here, then.

J.—Where is the tea-pot?

R.—That's true, yes, we haven't got one of our own. Mammy, what tea-pot are we to have?

M.—Won't you have the one we always have at tea?

R.—No, it's too common. It won't seem like our own tea-party, then.

J.—I suppose we mightn't have one of the beautiful little tea-pots out of the china cupboard, just for once?

M.—Just for once, you may, if you take care of it.

(Ralphgoes outL.Then comes back.)

R.—I am afraid I am not tall enough to reach the cupboard.

J.—You don't think, I suppose, you could come into the next room and get it for us?

M.—(Getting up.) I daresay I might.

J.—You see it is not our fault if we are not as tall as you, is it?

M.—Not quite, I daresay.

(She goes out. They watch her through the door.)

R.—Isn't Mammy tall when she stands on a foot-stool!

J.—I mean to be just the same size as Mammy is when I grow up.

R.—That's just like a girl, to say that sort of stupid thing. You don't know in the least how tall you will be when you grow up.

J.—Well, if girls are stupid, they are not so rude as boys.

R.—Girls are rude sometimes. It was very rude of you to talk about my dropping the cutlet into my lap.

M.—(Mothercoming in with two tea-pots.) You don't mean to say you are still discussing that cutlet! Now, which of the tea-pots is it to be?

R.—Oh, Mammy, I have such a good idea! Let's have them both, one at each end, and then we can both pour out tea.

M.—Very well.

(They put tea-pots on table. They walk round the table looking at them. TheMothergoes on writing.)

R.—Oh, this is capital. Now, we must get the things to eat. We shall want milk and sugar.

J.—And bread and butter and biscuits.

R.—And jam and cakes, perhaps—because, as it is our own tea-party, it ought to be a grand one.

J.—Of course.

R.—I've got some sugar that I put in my pocket this morning for the raven.

(Feels in his pocket, and brings out string, knife, etc., finally four lumps of sugar, one at a time.)

J.—Four lumps, will that be enough?

R.—I wonder how many Mammy will want. Mammy, do you like your tea very, very sweet?

M.—No, I don't like sugar in it at all.

R.—Oh, that's capital. Now, Janet, we can have two lumps each, one in each cup of tea. You can't have more. It's horrid to be greedy, you know.

J.—(With a sigh.) Well, I suppose that will have to do.

R.—Now, there's the milk, we'll ask the cook for that.

J.—And we shall want some spoons and knives.

R.—Susan will get out those.

J.—I should like to have some toast, too.

R.—We'll ask nurse to make that, they make such nice toast in the nursery.

J.—And then the biscuits.

R.—And the jam. We must ask Mammy what we may have. Mammy!

M.—What is it now?

R.—We may have some biscuits and some cakes, as well as bread and butter, mayn't we?

M.—Oh yes, you may look in the dining-room cupboard for what you want, if you don't take too much.

R.—Oh, how delightful! Come, Janet.

M.—(Alone.) Perhaps in the meantime I shall be able to add up my accounts!

(Writes intently. After a minute the children burst in again, carrying spoons, and knives, and plates.)

R.—Oh, Mammy, there are such a lot of things in the dining-room cupboard, we don't know which to choose.

J.—I wish you would come and help us.

R.—I suppose you're too busy, aren't you?

M.—Oh, I daresay I can manage it. (Gets up.)

R.—(Who is laying the table.) You know really, Mammy, the best thing would be that you should look into the dining-room cupboard, while Janet and I finish the table; we are so very busy, you see.

M.—(Smiling.) I will go and look in the cupboard and see what I can find. (Exit Mother.)

R.—Now, this is getting on splendidly, isn't it Janet? Let me see, have we remembered everything?

J.—I think so. The cook is making the tea and getting the milk.

R.—Susan is cutting the bread and butter.

J.—Nurse is making the toast.

R.—Mammy is choosing the cakes and the jam. I must say I do feel proud of doing it all by ourselves, without giving anybody extra trouble.

J.—Yes, it makes me feel as if we were such good children.

R.—So it does me.

J.—I should like to feel like this every day.

R.—Oh, I think one would soon get tired of it, you know. Oh, here comes Mammy! (They both run up to her as she comes in.) Well, Mammy, well?

M.—Well, you had better go into the dining-room and see if you approve of my choice.

R.—Oh, thank you. Now we must have some plates to put the cakes upon.

J.—Mammy, may we just for once have those beautiful little plates out of the china cupboard?

M.—Just for once then, if you take good care of them.

R.—Then, Mammy, I think you had better get them out for fear we should break them.

M.—Very well, let's go and get them.

(She gives a hand to each.)

J.—Oh, are you not pleased with us for arranging our tea-party all by ourselves! (They go out.)

Curtain.

CHARACTERS.MRS. MONTGOMERY.HARRY.PHŒBE.

Mrs. Montgomery.—(With her bonnet on, putting on her gloves, etc.HarryandPhœbeplaying on the floor.) Good-bye, my children, I shall be back soon. (HarryandPhœbeget up.)

Harry.—Where are you going, Mammy?

Mrs. M.—Only to pay two visits.

Phœbe.—How long will that take?

Mrs. M.—About three-quarters of an hour, if the people are at home.

P.—You would be very sorry if they weren't at home, wouldn't you?

Mrs. M.—Oh, of course.

H.—What stupid questions Phœbe asks, doesn't she!

Mrs. M.—Well, never mind, everybody is stupid sometimes. What are you going to do while I am away?

H.—We are going to play, I suppose.

Mrs. M.—Hadn't you better go to the nursery then?

H.—Oh no, Mammy! it's so babyish to stay in the nursery! It's much nicer to stay in the drawing-room by ourselves, as if we were you and Pappy.

Mrs. M.—Only Pappy and I don't get into mischief when we are left in the drawing-room.

H.—We won't either. You tell us what we mustn't do in here, and we will be the best children in the world.

Mrs. M.—Well, now, let me see: you are not to have a pillow fight with the sofa cushions.

H.—Of course not.

P.—What an idea!

Mrs. M.—You are not to play with my reels of cotton, or to throw them about.

P.—Certainly not.

Mrs. M.—You are not to build houses with the books, or to drop them on the ground.

H.—No, we won't.

Mrs. M.—And, above all, you are not to touch that box.

H.—Why mustn't we touch that box?

Mrs. M.—Never you mind that.

H.—Oh Mammy! is it a great secret?

Mrs. M.—Perhaps it is. Now, mind you remember all I've told you.

H.—Of course we will. Good-bye, dear Mammy. (They kiss.)

Mrs. M.—Good-bye.

P.—Look at us out of the window. (They go and stand at the window and wave their handkerchiefs.)

H.—(Turning from the window.) Now, what shall we do?

P.—I think it's rather dull staying in the drawing-room. Let's go into the nursery.

H.—No, that's so babyish—you talk as if we were little children. Let us stay here, and do exactly what Pappy and Mammy do.

P.—Very well—I'll sit here and work, and you sit in that chair with your legs crossed, and read the newspaper to me.

Harrysits and crosses his legs, takes a newspaper.

P.—I wish I had some work to do. I wonder if I may do some of Mammy's?

H.—I should think so. She didn't say anything about her work, she only said you weren't to play with the reels of cotton, you know.

P.—Well, of course, I shan't do that. (Takes a piece of embroidery.) Oh dear, I've unthreaded the needle! I shall never be able to work with this thick thread, I must get a finer reel. (Gets out two or three reels which she puts in her lap. Tries to thread the needle.)

H.—Now, I'll tell you what, I'll read out loud just as Pappy does. (Begins to read.) "The threatening aspect of the political outlook has undergone no recent modification—" what on earth does that mean?

P.—I don't know in the least what modication means.

H.—It isn't modication, you stupid! mod-i-fi-cation.

P.—Well, what's the difference?

H.—How should I know?

P.—Then you are as stupid as I am.

H.—No, I am not. Boys are never as stupid as girls. But I'll look it out in the dictionary.

(Puts a sofa cushion on a chair and stands on it to get down the dictionary. Jumps down and knocks down chair, and falls down with books.)

P.—Great clumsy creature you are!

H.—You are not to call me names.

(Throws the sofa cushion at her.)

P.—Naughty boy!

(Jumps up, reels fall off her lap, and picks up the cushion. He tries to drag it away from her. While struggling, they knock over the box their mother told them not to touch. It drops. It is full of sugar plums. They are all spilt on the ground.)

H.—Now look what you've done!

P.—Sugar plums!

H.—That's the box Mammy told us not to touch.

P.—We must pick them up as quickly as possible, and put them in again.

(They begin putting them in again.)

H.—I wonder whether they are really sugar plums?

P.—I'll tell you what. Let's lick the outside of one and see if it's sweet.

H.—(Licks it.) Yes, they are sugar plums.

P.—(Licking one.) Are you quite sure?

H.—Yes, I think so. I'll just lick it again to be quite certain. Oh yes, they are sugar plums, there's not a doubt. (They put them into the box.)

P.—I think it's rather horrid to put them back into the box again after we have licked them.

H.—I think it is. Let us take out the ones we licked, and eat them. That will be cleaner, won't it?

P.—But they are all mixed! I don't know which they are now!

H.—Oh, you are a stupid girl! Well, we must eat all that are in the box, there is no help for it.

P.—I really think that would be the safest plan.

(Their mother comes in while they are sitting on the floor eating the sugar plums.)

Mrs. M.—I've come back for my card-case which I have forgotten. Why, what have you been doing? Oh, Harry! Oh, Phœbe! I thought you were going to be so good!

P.—So we were! We were trying to be very, very good.

H.—Awfully good.

Mrs. M.—Good, indeed! I told you not to play with my work-basket, or the books, or the sofa cushions, or that box, and you have disobeyed me in everything! My reels are on the floor, my books on the floor, the sofa cushion on the floor, the box that I particularly asked you not to touch upset and emptied! I must say I think you have been very naughty.

H.—Dear Mammy, I am so sorry! We really didn't mean to play with any of the things. We were going to be like you and Pappy. So I began to read the paper to Phœbe.

P.—While I did your work.

Mrs. M.—(Horrified.) My work!

H.—And, then, because I didn't understand what we were reading about, I got a dictionary to look out the words, and I dropped it, and Phœbe said I was clumsy.

P.—So then he threw a sofa cushion at me.

H.—Only because she called me names, you know. It wasn't a pillow fight in the least.

P.—And I jumped up, and the reels rolled off my lap, and I tried to take the cushion away from him, and somehow we knocked over the box.

H.—But we didn't mean to in the very least. It was quite by accident.

Mrs. M.—Then, how did those sugar plums get into your mouths? That was by accident too I suppose.

H.—No, that was because we thought it was so dirty to put back the sugar plums we had licked.

P.—We just licked them to make sure they were sugar plums.

Mrs. M.—I see. Well, those sugar plums were for you. Your uncle sent them, and I was going to give them to you this evening, but now I shall throw them away instead.

H.—Throw them away! Oh, Mammy, what a pity!

Mrs. M.—Yes, it is a pity I can't trust two children of six and seven years old in a room by themselves. Come, let me see you safely in the nursery before I go out again.

P.—Itisa pity, just when we were trying to be the best children in the world! (They go out.)

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