It is the custom amongst Natives to eat fruit after the morning sleep, when dried fruits, confectionery, radishes, carrots, sugar-cane, green peas, and other such delicacies, are likewise considered wholesome luxuries, both with the ladies and the children. A dessert immediately after dinner is considered so unwholesome, that they deem our practice extremely injudicious. Such is the difference of custom; and I am disposed to think their fashion, in this instance, would be worth imitating by Europeans whilst residing in India.
I have been much amused with the curious inquiries of a zeenahnah family when the gardener's dhaullie is introduced. A dhaullie,[26] I must first tell you, is a flat basket, on which is arranged, in neat order, whatever fruit, vegetables, or herbs are at the time in season, with a nosegay of flowers placed in the centre. They will often ask with wonder—'How do these things grow?'—'How do they look in the ground?'—and many such child-like remarks have I listened to with pity, whilst I have relieved my heart by explaining the operations of Nature in the vegetable kingdom, a subject on which they are perfectly ignorant, and, from the habits of seclusion in which they live, can never properly be made to understand or enjoy.
I have said water is the only beverage in general use amongst the Mussulmaun Natives. They have sherbet, however, as a luxury on occasions of festivals, marriages, &c. This sherbet is simply sugar and water, with a flavour of rose-water, or kurah[27] added to it.
The hookha is almost in general use with females. It is a common practice with the lady of the house to present the hookha she is smoking to her favoured guest. This mark of attention is always to be duly appreciated; but such is the deference paid to parents, that a son can rarely be persuaded by an indulgent father or mother to smoke a hookha in their revered presence;—this praiseworthy feeling originates not in fear, but real genuine respect. The parents entertain for their son the most tender regard; and the father makes him both his companion and his friend; yet the most familiar endearments do not lessen the feeling of reverence a good son entertains for his father. This is one among the many samples of patriarchal life, my first Letter alluded to, and which I can never witness in real life, without feeling respect for the persons who follow up the patterns I have been taught to venerate in our Holy Scripture.
The hookha, as an indulgence of a privilege, is a great definer of etiquette. In the presence of the King or reigning Nuwaub, no subject, however high he may rank in blood or royal favour, can presume to smoke. In Native courts, on state occasions, hookhas are presented only to the Governor-General, the Commander-in-Chief, or the Resident at his Court, who are considered equals in rank, and therefore entitled to the privilege of smoking with him; and they cannot consistently resist the intended honour. Should they dislike smoking, a hint is readily understood by the hookha-bahdhaar[28] to bring the hookha, charged with the materials, without the addition of fire. Application of the munall[29] (mouth-piece) to the month indicates a sense of the honour conferred.
[1]Mahall.
[2]Parda.
[3]Jhilmil, chiq,the Anglo-Indian 'chick'.
[4]Shatranji, see p. 19.
[5]Sozani(sozan, 'a needle'), an embroidered quilt.
[6]Razai, a counterpane padded with cotton.
[7]Dopatta, a double sheet: see p. 26.
[8] See p. 24.
[9]Dastarkhwan, see p. 108.
[10] 'Ayishah, daughter of Abubakr, third and best loved wife of the Prophet, though she bore him no child. The tale of the scandal about her is historical, but it is treated as a calumny (Koran, xxiv. II, 22, with Sale's note).
[11] Known as theburqa.
[12] Amir Taimur, known as Taimur Lang, 'the lame', was born A.D. 1336; ascended the throne at Balkh, 1370; invaded India and captured Delhi, 1398; died 1405, and was buried at Samarkand. There seems to be no evidence that he introduced the practice of the seclusion of women, an ancient Semitic custom, which, however, was probably enforced on the people of India by the brutality of foreign invaders.
[13]Dak.
[14] See p. 32.
[15]Kabab, properly, small pieces of meat roasted on skewers.
[16]Nanbai, a baker of bread(nan).
[17]Khir, milk boiled with rice, sugar, and spices.
[18]Mutanjan, a corruption ofmuttajjan, 'fried in a pan'; usually in the formmutanjan pulao, meat boiled with rice, sugar, butter, and sometimes pine-apples or nuts.
[19]Salan, a curry of meat, fish, or vegetables.
[20] The left hand is used for purposes of ablution.
[21] The Musalmanlota, properly calledbadhna, differs fromthat used by Hindus in having a spout like that of a teapot.
[22]Lagan, a brass or copper pan in which the hands are washed: alsoused for kneading dough.
[23]Besan, flour, properly that of gram (chana). The prejudice against soap is largely due to imitation of Hindus, who believe themselves to be polluted by fat. Arabs, after a meal, wash their hands and mouths with soap (Burton,Pilgrimage, ii. 257). Sir G. Watt (Economic Dictionary, iii. 84 ff.) gives a long list of other detergents and substitutes for soap.
[24]Katora.
[25] The prejudice against the use of tea has much decreased since this book was written, owing to its cultivation in India. Musalmans and many Hindus now drink it freely.
[26]Dali, the 'dolly' of Anglo-Indians.
[27] See p. 13.
[28]Huqqahbardar.
[29]Munhnal.
Plurality of wives.—Mahumud's motive for permitting this privilege.—State of society at the commencement of the Prophet's mission.—His injunctions respecting marriage.—Parents invariably determine on the selection of a husband.—First marriages attended by a public ceremony.—The first wife takes precedence of all others.—Generosity of deposition evinced by the Mussulmaun ladies.—Divorces obtained under certain restrictions.—Period of solemnizing marriage.—Method adopted in choosing a husband or wife.—Overtures and contracts of marriage, how regulated.—Mugganee, the first contract.—Dress of the bride elect on this occasion.—The ceremonies described as witnessed.—Remarks on the bride.—Present from the bridegroom on Buckrah Eade.
The Mussulmauns have permission from their Lawgiver to be pluralists in wives, as well as the Israelites of old.[1] Mahumud's motive for restricting the number of wives each man might lawfully marry, was, say his biographers, for the purpose of reforming the then existing state of society, and correcting abuses of long standing amongst the Arabians.
My authority tells me, that at the period of Mahumud's commencing his mission, the Arabians were a most abandoned and dissolute people, guilty of every excess that can debase the character of man: drunkards, profligate, and overbearing barbarians, both in principle and action. Mahumud is said unvariedly to have manifested kindly feelings towards the weaker sex, who, he considered, were intended to be the companion and solace of man, and not the slave of his ungovernable sensuality or caprice; he set the best possible example in his own domestic circle, and instituted such laws as were then needed to restrain vice and promote the happiness of those Arabians who had received him as a Prophet. He forbade all kinds of fermented liquors, which were then in common use; and to the frequent intoxication of the men, were attributed their vicious habits, base pursuits, and unmanly cruelty to the poor females. Mahumud's code of laws relating to marriage restricted them to a limited number of wives; for at that period they all possessed crowded harems, many of the inhabitants of which were the victims of their reckless persecution; young females torn from the bosom of their families and immured in the vilest state of bondage, to be cast out upon the wide world to starvation and misery, whenever the base master of the house or tent desired to make room for a fresh supply, often the spoils of his predatory excursions.
By the laws of Mahumud his followers are restrained from concubinage; they are equally restricted from forced marriages. The number of their wives must be regulated by their means of supporting them, the law strictly forbidding neglect, or unkind treatment of any one of the number his followers may deem it convenient to marry.
At the period when Mahumud issued these necessary laws for the security of female comfort and the moral habits of the males, there existed a practice with the Arabs of forcing young women to marry against their inclination, adding, year by year, to the many wretched creatures doomed, for a time, to all the miseries of a crowded hut; and at last, when tired of their persons or unable to provide them with sustenance, turning them adrift without a home, a friend, or a meal. To the present day the law against forced marriages is revered, and no marriage contract can be deemed lawful without the necessary form of inquiry by the Maulvee, who, in the presence of witnesses, demands of the young lady, 'whether the contract is by her own free will and consent?' This, however, I am disposed to think, in the present age, is little else than a mere form of 'fulfilling the law' since the engagement is made by the parents of both parties, the young couple being passive subjects to the parental arrangement, for their benefit as they are assured. The young lady, from her rigid seclusion, has no prior attachment, and she is educated to be 'obedient to her husband'. She is taught from her earliest youth to look forward to such match as her kind parents may think proper to provide for her; and, therefore, can have no objection to accepting the husband selected for her by them. The parents, loving their daughter, and aware of the responsibility resting on them, are cautious in selecting for their girls suitable husbands, according to their particular view of the eligibility of the suitor.
The first marriage of a Mussulmaun is the only one where a public display of the ceremony is deemed necessary, and the first wife is always considered the head of his female establishment. Although he may be the husband of many wives in the course of time, and some of them prove greater favourites, yet the first wife takes precedence in all matters where dignity is to be preserved. And when the several wives meet—each have separate habitations if possible—all the rest pay to the first wife that deference which superiority exacts from inferiors; not only do the secondary wives pay this respect to the first, but the whole circle of relations and friends make the same distinction, as a matter of course; for the first wife takes precedence in every way.
Should the first wife fortunately present her husband with a son, he is the undisputed heir; but the children of every subsequent wife are equals in the father's estimation. Should the husband be dissolute and have offspring by concubines—which is not very common,—those children are remembered and provided for in the distribution of his property; and, as very often occurs, they are cherished by the wives with nearly as much care as their own children; but illegitimate offspring very seldom marry in the same rank their father held in society.
The latitude allowed by 'the law' preserves the many-wived Mussulmaun from the world's censure; and his conscience rests unaccused when he adds to his numbers, if he cannot reproach himself with having neglected or unkindly treated any of the number bound to him, or their children. But the privilege is not always indulged in by the Mussulmauns; much depends on circumstances, and more on the man's disposition. If it be the happy lot of a kind-hearted, good man to be married to a woman of assimilating mind, possessing the needful requisites to render home agreeable, and a prospect of an increasing family, then the husband has no motive to draw him into further engagements, and he is satisfied with one wife. Many such men I have known in Hindoostaun, particularly among the Syaads and religious characters, who deem a plurality of wives a plague to the possessors in proportion to their numbers.
The affluent, the sensualist, and the ambitious, are most prone to swell the numbers in their harem. With some men, who are not highly gifted intellectually, it is esteemed a mark of gentility to have several wives.
There are some instances of remarkable generosity in the conduct of good wives (which would hardly gain credit with females differently educated), not necessary to the subject before me; but I may here add to the praise of a good wife among these people, that she never utters a reproach, nor gives evidence by word or manner in her husband's presence that she has any cause for regret; she receives him with undisguised pleasure, although she has just before learned that another member has been added to his well-peopled harem. The good and forbearing wife, by this line of conduct, secures to herself the confidence of her husband; who, feeling assured that the amiable woman has an interest in his happiness, will consult her and take her advice in the domestic affairs of his children by other wives, and even arrange by her judgment all the settlements for their marriages, &c. He can speak of other wives without restraint,—for she knows he has others,—and her education has taught her, that they deserve her respect in proportion as they contribute to her husband's happiness. The children of her husband are admitted at all times and seasons, without restraint or prejudice; she loves them next to her own, because they are her husband's. She receives the mothers of such children without a shade of jealousy in her manner, and delights in distinguishing them by favours and presents according to their several merits. From this picture of many living wives in Mussulmaun society, it must not be supposed I am speaking of women without attachment to their husbands; on the contrary, they are persons who are really susceptible of pure love, and the generosity of their conduct is one of the ways in which they prove themselves devoted to their husband's happiness. This, they say, was the lesson taught them by their amiable mother, and this is the example they would set for the imitation of their daughters.
I do not mean to say this is a faithful picture of all the females of zeenahnah life. The mixture of good and bad tempers or dispositions is not confined to any class or complexion of people, but is to be met with in every quarter of the globe. In general, I have observed those females of the Mussulmaun population who have any claim to genteel life, and whose habits are guided by religious principles, evince such traits of character as would constitute the virtuous and thoroughly obedient wife in any country; and many, whom I have had the honour to know personally, would do credit to the most enlightened people in the world.
Should the first wife prove a termagant or unfaithful—rare occurrences amongst the inmates of the harem,—the husband has the liberty of divorcing her by paying down her stipulated dowry. This dowry is an engagement made by the husband on the night of Baarraat[2] (when the bridegroom is about to take his bride from her parents to his own home). On which occasion the Maulvee asks the bridegroom to name the amount of his wife's dowry, in the event of separation; the young man is at liberty to name any sum he pleases. It would not prevent the marriage if the smallest amount were promised; but he is in the presence of his bride's family, and within her hearing also, though he has not yet seen her;—it is a critical moment for him, thus surrounded. Besides, as he never intends to separate from the lady, in the strict letter of the law, he cannot refrain from gratifying those interested in the honour he is about to confer by the value of the promised dowry, and, therefore, he names a very heavy sum, which perhaps his whole generation never could have collected in their joint lives. This sum would of itself be a barrier to divorce; but that is not the only object which influences the Mussulmaun generally to waive the divorce; it is because they would not publish their own disgrace, by divorcing an unfaithful or undutiful wife.
If the first wife dies, a second is sought after on the same principle which guided the first—'a superior to head his house'. In this case there would be the same public display which marked the first wife's marriage; all the minor or secondary wives being introduced to the zeenahnah privately; they are in consequence termed Dhollie[3] wives, or brought home under cover.
Many great men appear to be close imitators of King Solomon, with whose history they are perfectly conversant, for I have heard of the sovereign princes in Hindoostaun having seven or eight hundred wives at one time in their palaces. This is hearsay report only, and I should hope an exaggeration.[4]
The first marriage is usually solemnized when the youth is eighteen, and the young lady thirteen, or fourteen at the most; many are married at an earlier age, when, in the opinion of the parents, an eligible match is to be secured. And in some cases, where the parents on both sides have the union of their children at heart, they contract them at six or seven years old, which marriage they solemnly bind themselves to fulfil when the children have reached a proper age; under these circumstances the children are allowed to live in the same house, and often form an attachment for each other, which renders their union a life of real happiness.
There are to be found in Mussulmaun society parents of mercenary minds, who prefer giving their daughters in marriage as dhollie wives to noblemen or men of property, to the preferable plan of uniting them with a husband of their own grade, with whom the girl would most likely live without a rival in the mud-walled tenement; this will explain the facilities offered to a sovereign or nobleman in extending the numbers of his harem.
Some parents excuse themselves in thus disposing of their daughters on the score of poverty, and the difficulty they find in defraying the expenses of a wedding: this I conceive to be one great error in the economy of the Mussulmaun people,—unnecessary expense incurred in their marriage ceremonies, which hampers them through life in their circumstances. Parents, however poor, will not allow their daughter to be conveyed from their home, where the projected union is with an equal, without a seemingly needless parade of music, and a marriage-portion in goods and chattels, if they have no fortune to give beside; then the expense of providing dinners for friends to make the event conspicuous, and the useless articles of finery for the girl's person, with many other ways of expending money, to the detriment of the parents' finances, without any very substantial benefit to the young couple. But this dearly-loved custom cannot be passed over; and if the parents find it impossible to meet the pecuniary demands of these ceremonies, the girl has no alternative but to live out her days singly, unless by an agent's influence she is accepted as a dhollie wife to some man of wealth.
Girls are considered to have passed their prime when they number from sixteen to eighteen years; even the poorest peasant would object to a wife of eighteen.
There has been the same difficulty to encounter in every age of Mussulmaun history in Hindoostaun; and in the darker periods of civilization, the obstacles to settling their daughters to advantage induced the villagers and the uneducated to follow the example of the Rajpoots, viz., to destroy the greater proportion of females at their birth. In the present age, this horrid custom is never heard of amongst any classes of the Mussulmaun population[5]; but by the Rajpoot Hindoos it is still practised, as one of their chiefs very lately acknowledged in the presence of a friend of mine. I have often heard Meer Hadjee Shaah declare that it was a common occurrence within his recollection, among the lower classes of the people in the immediate vicinity of Loodeeanah,[6] where he lived when a boy; and that the same practice existed in the Oude territory, amongst the peasantry even at a much later date. One of the Nuwaubs of Oude,—I think Asoof ood Dowlah,—hearing with horror of the frequent recurrence of this atrocity in the remote parts of his province, issued a proclamation to his subjects, commanding them to desist from the barbarous custom[7]; and, as an inducement to the wicked parents to preserve their female offspring alive, grants of land were to be awarded to every female as a marriage-portion on her arriving at a proper age.
It is generally to be observed in a Mussulmaun's family, even at this day, that the birth of a girl produces a temporary gloom, whilst the birth of a boy gives rise to a festival in the zeenahnah. Some are wicked enough to say, 'It is more honourable to have sons than daughters', but I believe the real cause is the difficulty to be encountered in settling the latter suitably.
The important affair of fixing upon a desirable match for their sons and daughters is the source of constant anxiety in the family of every Mussulmaun, from the children's earliest years to the period of its accomplishment.
There is a class of people who make it the business of their lives to negotiate marriages. Both men and women of this description are of course ingeniously expert in the art of talking, and able to put the best colouring on the affair they undertake; they occupy every day of their lives in roving about from house to house, and, as they have always something entertaining to say, they generally gain easy admittance; they make themselves acquainted with the domestic affairs of one family in order to convey them to another, and so continue in their line of gossiping, until the economy of every person's house is familiar to all. The female gossip in her researches in zeenahnahs, finds out all the expectations a mother entertains for her marriageable sons or daughters, and details whatever she learns in such or such a zeenahnah, as likely to meet the views of her present hostess. Every one knows the object of these visits, and if they have any secret that the world may not participate in, there is due caution observed that it may not transpire before this Mrs. Gad-about.
When intelligence is brought, by means of such agency, to the mother of a son who happens to be marriageable, that a lady of proper rank has a daughter to be sought, she consults with her husband, and further inquiries are instituted amongst their several friends, male and female; after due deliberation, the connexion being found desirable, the father will consult an omen before negotiations are commenced. The omen to decide the important step is as follows:—Several slips of paper are cut up, on half the number is written 'to be', on the other half, 'not to be'; these papers are mixed together and placed under the prayer-carpet. When the good Mussulmaun is preparing for his evening Namaaz he fails not in his devotions to ask for help and guidance in an affair of so much importance to the father as the happiness and well-being of his son. At the portion of the service when he bows down his head to God, he beseeches with much humility, calling on the great power and goodness of God to instruct and guide him for the best interest of his child; and then he repeats a short prayer expressive of his reliance on the wisdom of God, and his perfect submission to whatever may be His wise decree in this important business. The prayer concluded, he seats himself with solemn gravity on the prayer-carpet, again and again imploring Divine guidance, without which he is sure nothing good can accrue: he then draws one slip from under his carpet; if 'to be' is produced, he places it by his left side;—a second slip is drawn out, should that also bear the words 'to be' the business is so far decided. He then offers thanks and praises to God, congratulates his wife on the successful issue of the omen, and discusses those plans which appear most likely to further the prospects of their dearly-loved son. But should the second and third papers say 'not to be' he is assured in his heart it was so decided by 'that Wisdom which cannot err:' to whom he gives praise and glory for all mercies received at His hand: after this no overture or negotiation would be listened to by the pious father from the same quarter.[8]
The omen, however, proving favourable, the affair is decided; and in order to gain the best possible information of the real disposition of all parties concerned, a confidential friend is sent to the zeenahnah of the young lady's mother to make her own observations on what passes within; and to ascertain, if possible, whether the report brought by the female agent was true or exaggerated; and finally, to learn if their son would be received or rejected as a suitor, provided advances were made.
The female friend returns, after a day or two's absence, to the anxious parents of the youth, and details all she has seen or heard during her visit. The young lady may, perhaps, have been seen (this is not always conceded to such visitors), in which case her person, her manners, her apparent disposition, the hospitality and good breeding of the mother and other members of the zeenahnah, are described; and lastly, it is hinted that, all other things suiting, the young lady being yet disengaged, the projected offer would not be disagreeable to her parents.
The father of the youth then resolves on sending a male agent in due form to negotiate a marriage, unless he happens to be personally acquainted with the girl's father; in which case the lady is desired to send her female agent on the embassy, and the father of the youth speaks on the subject in the meantime to the girl's father.
A very intimate friend of mine was seeking for a suitable match for her son, and being much in her confidence, I was initiated in all the mysteries and arrangements (according to Mussulmaun rule) of the affair pending the marriage of her son.
The young lady to be sought (wooed we should have it), had been described as amiable and pretty—advantages as much esteemed as her rank;—fortune she had none worth mentioning, but it was what is termed in Indian society a good and equal match. The overture was, therefore, to be made from the youth's family in the following manner:
On a silver tray covered with gold brocade and fringed with silver, was laid the youth's pedigree, traced by a neat writer in the Persian character, on richly embossed paper ornamented and emblazoned with gold figures. The youth being a Syaad, his pedigree was traced up to Mahumud, in both paternal and maternal lines, and many a hero and Begum of their noble blood filled up the space from the Prophet down to the youthful Meer Mahumud, my friend's son.
On the tray, with the pedigree, was laid a nuzza, or offering of five gold mohurs, and twenty-one (the lucky number) rupees; a brocaded cover, fringed with silver, was spread over the whole, and this was conveyed by the male agent to the young Begum's father. The tray and its contents are retained for ever, if the proposal is accepted: if rejected, the parties return the whole without delay, which is received as a tacit proof that the suitor is rejected: no further explanation is ever given or required.
In the present instance the tray was detained, and in a few days after a female from their family was sent to my friend's house to make a general scrutiny of the zeenahnah and its inmates. This female was pressed to stay a day or two, and in that time many important subjects underwent discussion. The youth was introduced, and everything according with the views entertained by both parties, the fathers met, and the marriage, it was decided, should take place within a twelvemonth, when the young lady would have accomplished her thirteenth year.
'Do you decide on having Mugganee[9] performed?' is the question proposed by the father of the youth to the father of the young maiden. In the present case it was chosen, and great were the preparations of my friend to do all possible honour to the future bride of her son.
Mugganee is the first contract, by which the parties are bound to fulfil their engagement at an appointed time.
The dress for a bride[10] differs in one material point from the general style of Hindoostaunie costume: a sort of gown is worn, made of silver tissue, or some equally expensive article, about the walking length of an English dress; the skirt is open in front, and contains about twenty breadths of the material, a tight body and long sleeves. The whole dress is trimmed very richly with embroidered trimming and silver riband; the deputtah (drapery) is made to correspond. This style of dress is the original Hindoo fashion, and was worn at the Court of Delhi for many centuries; but of late years it has been used only on marriage festivals amongst the better sort of people in Hindoostaun, except Kings or Nuwaubs sending khillauts to females, when this dress, called a jhammah,[11] is invariably one of the articles.
The costly dresses for the present Mugganee my friend prepared at a great expense, and with much good taste; to which were added a ruby ring of great value, large gold ear-rings, offerings of money, the flower-garlands for the head, neck, wrists, and ankles, formed of the sweet-scented jessamine; choice confectionery set out in trays with the pawns and fruits; the whole conveyed under an escort of soldiers and servants with a band of music, from the residence of Meer Mahumud to that of his bride elect, accompanied by many friends of the family. These offerings from the youth bind the contract with the young lady, who wears his ring from that day to the end of her life.
The poorer sort of people perform Mugganee by the youth simply sending a rupee in a silk band, to be tied on the girl's arm.
Being curious to know the whole business of a wedding ceremony amongst the Mussulmaun people, I was allowed to perform the part of 'officiating friend' on this occasion of celebrating the Mugganee. The parents of the young lady having been consulted, my visit was a source of solicitude to the whole family, who made every possible preparation to receive me with becoming respect; I went just in time to reach the gate at the moment the parade arrived. I was handed to the door of the zeenahnah by the girl's father, and was soon surrounded by the young members of the family, together with many lady-visitors, slaves, and women-servants of the establishment. They had never before seen an English-woman, and the novelty, I fancy, surprised the whole group; they examined my dress, my complexion, hair, hands, &c., and looked the wonder they could not express in words. The young Begum was not amongst the gazing throng; some preliminary customs detained her behind the purdah, where it may be supposed she endured all the agony of suspense and curiosity by her compliance with the prescribed forms.
The lady of the mansion waited my approach to the dulhaun[12] (great hall) with all due etiquette, standing to receive and embrace me on my advancing towards her. This ceremony performed, I was invited to take a seat on the musnud-carpet with her on the ground; a chair had been provided for me, but I chose to respect the lady's preference, and the seat on the floor suited me for the time without much inconvenience.
After some time had been passed in conversation on such subjects as suited the taste of the lady of the house, I was surprised at the servants entering with trays, which they placed immediately before me, containing a full-dress suit in the costume of Hindoostaun. The hostess told me she had prepared this dress for me, and I must condescend to wear it. I would have declined the gaudy array, but one of her friends whispered me, 'The custom is of long standing; when the face of a stranger is first seen a dress is always presented; I should displease Sumdun Begum by my refusal;—besides, it would be deemed an ill omen at the Mugganee of the young Bohue[13] Begum if I did not put on the Native dress before I saw the face of the bride elect.' These I found to be weighty arguments, and felt constrained to quiet their apprehensions of ill-luck by compliance; I therefore forced the gold dress and the glittering drapery over my other clothes, at the expense of some suffering from the heat, for it was at the very hottest season of the year, and the dulhaun was crowded with visitors.
This important point conceded to them, I was led to a side hall, where the little girl was seated on her carpet of rich embroidery, her face resting on her knees in apparent bashfulness. I could not directly ascertain whether she was plain, or pretty as the female agent had represented. I was allowed the privilege of decorating the young lady with the sweet jessamine guinahs,[14] and placing the ring on the forefinger of the right hand; after which, the ear-rings, the gold-tissue dress, the deputtah were all in their turn put on, the offering of money presented, and then I had the first embrace before her mother. She looked very pretty, just turned twelve. If I could have prevailed on her to be cheerful, I should have been much gratified to have extended my visit in her apartment, but the poor child seemed ready to sink with timidity; and out of compassion to the dear girl, I hurried away from the hall, to relieve her from the burden my presence seemed to inflict, the moment I had accomplished my last duty, which was to feed her with my own hand, giving her seven pieces of sugar-candy; seven, on this occasion, is the lucky number, I presume, as I was particularly cautioned to feed her with exactly that number of pieces.
Returning to the assembly in the dulhaun, I would have gladly taken leave; but there was yet one other custom to be observed to secure a happy omen to the young people's union. Once again seated on the musnud with Sumdun Begum,[15] the female slaves entered with sherbet in silver basins. Each person taking sherbet is expected to deposit gold or silver coins in the tray; the sherbet-money at this house is collected for the bride; and when during the three days' performance of the marriage ceremony at the bridegroom's house sherbet is presented to the guests, the money collected there is reserved for him. The produce of the two houses is afterwards compared, and conclusions drawn as to the greatest portion of respect paid by the friends on either side. The poor people find the sherbet-money a useful fund to help them to keep house; but with the rich it is a mere matter to boast of, that so much money was collected in consequence of the number of visitors who attended the nuptials.
After the Mugganee ceremony had been performed, and before the marriage was solemnized, the festival of Buckrah Eade occurred;—in the eleventh Letter you will find it remarked, the bride and bridegroom elect then exchange presents;—my friend was resolved her son's presents should do honour to both houses, and the following may give you an idea of an Eade-gift.
Thirty-five goats and sheep of the finest breed procurable, which I succeeded in having sent in their natural dress, instead of being adorned with gold-cloth and painted horns: it was, however, with some persuasion the folly of this general practice was omitted in this instance.
The guinah or garland, of flowers on a tray covered with brocade. The guinah are sweet-scented flowers without stalks, threaded into garlands in many pretty ways, with great taste and ingenuity, intermixed with silver ribands; they are formed into bracelets, necklaces, armlets, chaplets for the head, and bangles for the legs. There are people in Lucknow who make the preparing of guinahs a profitable business, as the population is so extensive as to render these flower-ornaments articles of great request.
A tray filled with pawns, prepared with the usual ingredients, as lime, cuttie[16] (a bitter gum), betel-nut, tobacco, spices, &c.; these pawns are tied up in packets of a triangular form and covered with enamelled foil of many bright colours. Several trays of ripe fruits of the season, viz., kurbootahs[17] (shaddock), kabooza[18] (melons), ununas[19] (pine apple), guavers,[20] sherreefha[21] (custard-apple), kummeruck,[22] jarmun[23] (purple olives), orme[24] (mango), falsah,[25] kirhnee,[26] baer,[27] leechie,[28] ormpeach,[29] carounder,[30] and many other kinds of less repute.
Confectionery and sweetmeats, on trays, in all the varieties of Indian invention; a full-dress suit for the young lady; and on a silver tray the youth's nuzza of five gold mohurs, and twenty-one rupees.
The Eade offering of Meer Mahumud was escorted by servants, soldiers, and a band of music; and the young lady returned a present to the bridegroom elect of thirty-five goats and sheep, and a variety of undress skull-caps, supposed to be her own work, in spangles and embroidery. I may state here, that the Natives of India never go bare-headed in the house. The turban is always worn in company, whatever may be the inconvenience from heat; and in private life, a small skull-cap, often of plain white muslin, just covers the head. It is considered disgraceful in men to expose the head bare; removing the turban from the head of an individual would be deemed as insulting as pulling a nose in Europe.
Whatever Eade or festival may occur between the Mugganee and the final celebration of nuptials, presents are always interchanged by the young bride and bridegroom; and with all such observances there is one prevailing custom, which is, that though there should be nothing at hand but part of their own gifts, the trays are not allowed to go back without some trifling things to keep the custom in full force.
[1] TheKoran(iv. 3) allows Musalmans to marry 'by twos, or threes, or fours'; but the passage has been interpreted in various ways.
[2]Barat.
[3]Duli, 'the Anglo-Indian 'dhooly'. Such wives are so called because they are brought to the houses of their husbands in an informal way, without a regular marriage procession.
[4] The King of Vijayanagar had twelve thousand wives: four thousand followed him on foot and served in the kitchen; the same number marched with him on horseback; the remainder in litters, and two or three thousand of them were bound to burn themselves with his corpse (Nicolo Conti,India in the Fifteenth Century, part iii, p. 6). In Orissa a palm-leaf record states that one monarch died prematurely just as he had married his sixty-thousandth wife, and a European traveller speaks of a later prince who had four thousand ladies (Sir W. Hunter,Orissa. ii, 132 f.). Manucci states that there were more than thirty thousand women in the palace of Shah Jahan at Dheli, and that he usually had two thousand women of different races in his zenana (Storia de Major, i. 195, ii. 330). Tippoo Sultan of Mysore married nine hundred women (Jaffur Shurreef,Qanoon-e-Islam, 93).
[5] There in evidence that infanticide did prevail among some Musalman tribes. Where actual infanticide has disappeared, it has often been replaced by neglect of female infants, except in those castes where, owing to a scarcity of girls, they command a high price.—Reports Census of India, 1911, i. 216 ff;Panjab, 1911, i. 231.
[6] Ludhiana.
[7] No record of this proclamation has been traced in the histories of the time.
[8] The bride is often selected by praying for a dream in sleep, by manipulating the rosary, or by opening theKoranat random, and reading the first verse which comes under the eye. Another method is to ascertain to which of the elements—fire, air, earth, water—the initials of the names of the pair correspond. If these agree, it is believed that the engagement will be prosperous.—Jaffur Shurreef,Qanoon-e-Islam, 37.
[9]Mangni, 'the asking'.
[10] Compare the full account of brides' dress in Mrs. F. Parks,Wanderings of a Pilgrim, i. 425.
[11]Jama.
[12]Dalan.
[13]Bahu, properly a son's wife or daughter-in-law: commonly applied to a bride or young wife.
[14] Probably thegendaor French marigold (Tagetes erecta).
[15] Sumdun is always the title of the bride's mamma; Bohue, that of the young wife, and, therefore, my thus designating her here is premature. [Samdhanmeans a connexion by marriage. The mothers of bride and bridegroom aresamdhanto each other.]
[16]Kuth, kuttha, the gum ofAcacia catechu.
[17] The shaddock (Citrus decumana) is calledchakoira; possibly confused with the next.
[18]Kharbuzah, Cucumis melo.
[19]Ananas, Ananassa saliva.
[20] Guava.
[21]Sharifah, Anona squamosa.
[22]Kamrak, Averrhoa Carambola.
[23]Jamun, jaman, Eugenia Jambolana.
[24]Am, Mangifera indica.
[25]Falsa, phalsa, Greuria asiatica.
[26]Kirni, Canthium parviflorum.
[27]Ber, Zizyphus Jujuba.
[28]Lichi, Nephelium Lichi.
[29] Possibly some confusion betweenum, the mango, andalu, aru, the peach.
[30]Karaunda, Carissa Carandas.
Wedding ceremonies of the Mussulmauns.—The new or full moon propitious to the rites being concluded.—Marriage settlements unknown.—Control of the wife over her own property.—Three days and nights occupied in celebrating the wedding.—Preparations previously made by both families.—Ostentatious display on those occasions.—Day of Sarchuck.—Customs on the day of Mayndhie.—Sending presents.—Day of Baarraat.—Procession of the bridegroom to fetch the bride.—The bride's departure to her new home.—Attendant ceremonies explained.—Similarity of the Mussulmaun and Hindu ceremonies.—Anecdote of a Moollah.—Tying the Narrah to the Moosul.
When the young lady's family have made all the necessary arrangements for that important event (their daughter's nuptials), notice is sent to the friends of the intended bridegroom, and the gentlemen of both families meet to settle on what day the celebration is to take place. They are guided in the final arrangement by the state of the moon—the new or full moon has the preference; she must, however, be clear of Scorpio, which, as I have before stated, they consider the unfortunate sign.[1] There are some moons in the year considered very unpropitious to marry in. At Mahurrum, for instance, no emergency as to time or circumstance would induce the female party to consent to the marriage solemnities taking place. In Rumzaun they have scruples, though not equal to those which they entertain against fulfilling the contract in Mahurrum, the month of mourning.
Marriage settlements are not known in Mussulmaun society. All contracts are made by word of mouth; and to their credit, honourable reliance is usually followed by honourable fulfilment of agreements. The husband is expected to be satisfied with whatever portion of his wife's fortune the friends may deem consistent or prudent to grant with their daughter. The wife is at liberty to keep under her own control any separate sum or allowance her parents may be pleased to give her, over and above the marriage portion granted to the husband with his wife.[2]
The husband rarely knows the value of his wife's private property unless, as sometimes happens, the couple in after years have perfect confidence in each other, and make no separate interests in worldly matters. Occasionally, when the married couple have not lived happily together, the wife has been known to bury her cash secretly; and perhaps she may die without disclosing the secret of her treasure to any one.
In India the practice of burying treasure is very common with females, particularly in villages, or where there are fears entertained of robbers. There is no difficulty in burying cash or other treasure, where the ground floors of the houses are merely beaten earth—boarded floors, indeed, are never seen in Hindoostaun—in the houses of the first classes of Natives they sometimes have them bricked and plastered, or paved with marble. During the rainy season I have sometimes observed the wooden tuckht[3] (a portable platform) in use with aged or delicate females, on which they make their seats from fear of the damp from the mud floor; but they complain that these accommodations are not half so comfortable as their ordinary seat.
The division of personal property between married people has the effect of rendering the wife much more independent than the married lady of other countries. The plan is a judicious one in the existing state of Mussulmaun society, for since the husband could at his pleasure add other wives, the whole property of the first wife might be squandered on these additions. In the middling classes of society, and where the husband is a religious person, this division of property is not so strictly maintained; yet every wife has the privilege, if she chooses to exercise it, of keeping a private purse, which the good wife will produce unasked to meet her husband's emergencies; and which the good husband is never known to demand, however great may be his necessities. There are many traits of character in the Mussulmaun world that render them both amiable and happy, wherever politeness of behaviour is brought to bear. I have seen some bright examples of forbearance and affectionate solicitude in both sexes, which would do honour to the most refined societies of the civilized world.
The marriage ceremony occupies three days and nights:—The first is called, Sarchuck;[4] the second, Mayndhie;[5] and the third, Baarraat,[6] (fate or destiny is the meaning of this word).
I am not aware that three days are required to accomplish the nuptials of the young couple in any other society of Mussulmauns distinct from those of Hindoostaun. Judging by similar usages among the Hindoo population, I am rather disposed to conjecture that this is one of the customs of the aborigines, imitated by the invaders, as the outward parade and publicity given to the event by the Mussulmauns greatly resemble those of the surrounding Hindoos.
There are no licences granted, nor any form of registry kept of marriages. Any person who is acquainted with the Khoraun may read the marriage ceremony, in the presence of witnesses if it be possible; but they usually employ a professed Moollah or Maulvee, in consideration of such persons being the most righteous in their lives; for they make this engagement a religious, as well as a civil contract.[7]
The day being fixed, the elders, male and female, of the two families, invite their several relatives, friends, and acquaintances to assemble, according to their means and convenience for entertaining visitors. The invitations are written in the Persian character on red paper, describing the particular event which they are expected to honour. During the week previous to Sarchuck, both families are busily engaged in sending round to their several friends trays of ready-cooked dinners. Rich and poor share equally on these occasions; the reason assigned for which is, that the persons' nuptials may be registered in the minds of those who partake of the food, who in the course of time, might otherwise forget that they had ever heard of the young couple's nuptials.
The mother of Bohue Begum actively employed the intervening time, in finishing her preparations for the young lady's departure from the parental roof with suitable articles, which might prove the bride was not sent forth to her new family without a proper provision. There is certainly too much ostentation evinced on these occasions; but custom, prided custom, bids defiance to every better argument; and thus the mother, full of solicitude that her daughter should carry with her evident marks of parental affection, and be able to sustain her rank in life, loads her child with a profusion of worldly goods. The poorest people, in this instance, imitate their superiors with a blameable disregard to consequences. Many parents among the lower orders incur heavy debts to enable them to make a parade at their children's wedding, which proves a source of misery to themselves as long as they live.
It may be presumed the Sumdun Begum prepared more suits of finery than her daughter could wear out for years. A silver bedstead with the necessary furniture, as before described; a silver pawn-dawn,[8] round, and shaped very like a modern spice-box in England; a silver chillumchee[9] (wash-hand basin), and lota (water-jug with a spout, nearly resembling an old-fashioned coffee-pot); a silver luggun[10] (spittoon); silver surraie[11] (water-bottle); silver basins for water; several dozens of copper saucepans, plates and spoons for cooking; dishes, plates, and platters in all variety needful for the house, of metal or of stone. China or glass is rarely amongst the bride's portion, the only articles of glass I remember to have seen was the looking-glass for the bride's toilette, and that was framed and cased in pure silver. Stone dishes are a curious and expensive article, brought from Persia and Arabia, of a greenish colour, highly polished; the Natives call them racaab-puttie,[12] and prefer them to silver at their meals, having an idea that poisoned food would break them; and he who should live in fear of such a calamity, feels secure that the food is pure when the dish of this rare stone is placed before him perfect.
Amongst the various articles sent with the bride to her new home is the much prized musnud, cushions and carpet to correspond; shutteringhies, and calico carpets, together with the most minute article used in Native houses, whether for the kitchen, or for the accommodation of the young lady in her apartments; all these are conveyed in the lady's train when she leaves her father's house to enter that of her husband. I am afraid my descriptions will be deemed tediously particular, so apt are we to take the contagion of example from those we associate with; and as things unimportant in other societies are made of so much consequence to these people, I am in danger of giving to trifles more importance than may be agreeable to my readers.
On the day of Sarchuck the zeenahnahs of both houses are completely filled with visitors of all grades, from the wives and mothers of noblemen, down to the humblest acquaintance of the family. To do honour to the hostess, the guests appear in their best attire and most valuable ornaments.
A wedding in the family of a respectable Mussulmaun is very often the medium of reconciling long standing estrangements between friends. Human nature has the same failings in every climate; there will be some who entertain jealousies and envyings in all societies, but a wedding with these people is a perfect peace-maker, since none of the invited can consistently stay away; and in such an assembly, where is the evil mind to disturb harmony, or recur to past grievances?
The day of Sarchuck is the first time the young lady receives the appellation of Dullun,[13] at which time also the bridegroom is designated Dullha.[14] Dullun is kept in strict confinement, in a dark room or closet, during the whole three days' merriment going forward under the parental roof; whilst the bridegroom is the most prominent person in the assembly of the males, where amusements are contrived to please and divert him, the whole party vieing in personal attentions to him. The ladies are occupied in conversation and merriment, and amused with the native songs and music of the dominie, smoking the hookha, eating pawn, dinner, &c. Company is their delight, and time passes pleasantly with them in such an assembly.
The second day, Mayndhie, is one of bustle and preparation in the Sumdun Begum's department; it is spent in arranging the various articles that are to accompany the bride's Mayndhie, which is forwarded in the evening to the bridegroom with great parade.
It is so well known that I need hardly mention the fact, that the herb mayndhie[15] is in general request amongst the natives of India, for the purpose of dyeing the hands and feet; it is considered by them an indispensable article to their comfort, keeping those members cool and a great ornament to the person.
Long established custom obliges the bride to send mayndhie on the second night of the nuptials to the bridegroom; and, to make the event more conspicuous, presents proportioned to the means of the party accompany the trays of prepared mayndhie.
The female friends of the bride's family attend the Mayndhie procession in covered conveyances, and the male guests on horses, elephants, and in palkies; trains of soldiers, servants, and bands of music swell the procession (among people of distinction) to a magnitude inconceivable to those who have not visited the Native cities of Hindoostaun, or witnessed the parade of a marriage ceremony.
Amongst the bride's presents with mayndhie, may be noticed every thing requisite for a full-dress suit for the bridegroom, and the etceteras of his toilette; confectionery, dried fruits, preserves, the prepared pawns, and a multitude of trifles too tedious to enumerate, but which are nevertheless esteemed luxuries with the Native young people, and are considered essential to the occasion. One thing I must not omit, the sugar-candy, which forms the source of amusement when the bridegroom is under the dominion of the females in his mother's zeenahnah. The artush bajie,[16] (fireworks) sent with the presents, are concealed in flowers formed of the transparent uberuck:[17] these flowers are set out in frames, called chumund,[18] and represent beds of flowers in their varied forms and colours; these in their number and gay appearance have a pretty effect in the procession, interspersed with the trays containing the dresses, &c. All the trays are first covered with basket-work raised in domes, and over these are thrown draperies of broadcloth, gold-cloth, and brocade, neatly fringed in bright colours.
The Mayndhie procession having reached the bridegroom's house, bustle and excitement pervade through every department of the mansion. The gentlemen are introduced to the father's hall; the ladies to the youth's mother, who in all possible state is prepared to receive the bride's friends.
The interior of a zeenahnah has been already described; the ladies crowd into the centre hall to witness, through the blinds of bamboo, the important process of dressing the young bridegroom in his bride's presents. The centre purdah is let down, in which are openings to admit the hands and feet; and close to this purdah a low stool is placed. When all these preliminary preparations are made, and the ladies securely under cover, notice is sent to the male assembly that, 'Dullha is wanted'; and he then enters the zeenahnah court-yard, amidst the deafening sounds of trumpets and drums from without, and a serenade from the female singers within. He seats himself on the stool placed for him close to the purdah, and obeys the several commands he receives from the hidden females, with childlike docility. The moist mayndhie is then tied on with bandages by hands he cannot see, and, if time admits, one hour is requisite to fix the dye bright and permanent on the hands and feet. During this delay, the hour is passed in lively dialogues with the several purdahed dames, who have all the advantage of seeing though themselves unseen; the singers occasionally lauding his praise in extempore strains, after describing the loveliness of his bride, (whom they know nothing about), and foretelling the happiness which awaits him in his marriage, but which, in the lottery, may perhaps prove a blank. The sugar-candy, broken into small lumps, is presented by the ladies whilst his hands and feet are fast bound in the bandages of mayndhie; but as he cannot help himself, and it is an omen of good to eat the bride's sweets at this ceremony, they are sure he will try to catch the morsels which they present to his mouth and then draw back, teasing the youth with their banterings, until at last he may successfully snap at the candy, and seize the fingers also with the dainty, to the general amusement of the whole party and the youth's entire satisfaction.
The mayndhie supposed to have done its duty, the bandages are removed; his old unnah,[19] the nurse of his infancy (always retained for life), assists him with water to wash off the leaves, dries his feet and hands, rubs him with otta,[20] robes him in his bride's presents, and ornaments him with the guinah. Thus attired he takes leave of his tormentors, sends respectful messages to his bride's family, and bows his way from their guardianship to the male apartment, where he is greeted by a flourish of trumpets and the congratulations of the guests, many of whom present nuzzas and embrace him cordially.
The dinner is introduced at twelve amongst the bridegroom's guests, and the night passed in good-humoured conviviality, although the strongest beverage at the feast consists of sugar and water sherbet. The dancing-women's performances, the display of fireworks, the dinner, pawn, and hookha, form the chief amusements of the night, and they break up only when the dawn of morning approaches.
The bride's female friends take sherbet and pawn after the bridegroom's departure from the zeenahnah, after which they hasten away to the bride's assembly, to detail the whole business of their mission.
I have often heard the ladies complain, that the time hangs very heavy on their hands whilst the party have gone to perform Mayndhie, until the good ladies return with their budget of particulars. Hundreds of questions are then put to them by the inquisitive dames, how the procession passed off?—whether accident or adventure befel them on the march?—what remarks were made on the bride's gifts?—-but most of all they want to know, how the bridegroom looked, and how he behaved under their hands? The events of the evening take up the night in detailing, with the occasional interruptions of dinner, pawn, and sherbet; and so well are they amused, that they seldom feel disposed to sleep until the crowing of the cock warns them that the night has escaped with their diversified amusements.
The eventful Baarraat arrives to awaken in the heart of a tender mother all the good feelings of fond affection; she is, perhaps, about to part with the great solace of her life under many domestic trials; at any rate, she transfers her beloved child to another protection. All marriages are not equally happy in their termination; it is a lottery, a fate, in the good mother's calculation. Her darling child may be the favoured of Heaven for which she prays; she may be, however, the miserable first wife of a licentious pluralist; nothing is certain, but she will strive to trust in God's mercy, that the event prove a happy one to her dearly-loved girl.
I have said the young bride is in close confinement during the days of celebrating her nuptials; on the third she is tormented with the preparations for her departure. The mayndhie must be applied to her hands and feet, the formidable operations of bathing, drying her hair, oiling and dressing her head, dyeing her lips, gums, and teeth with antimony, fixing on her the wedding ornaments, the nut (nose-ring) presented by her husband's family: the many rings to be placed on her fingers and toes, the rings fixed in her ears, are all so many new trials to her, which though a complication of inconveniences, she cannot venture to murmur at, and therefore submits to with the passive meekness of a lamb.
Towards the close of the evening, all this preparation being fulfilled, the marriage portion is set in order to accompany the bride. The guests make their own amusements for the day; the mother is too much occupied with her daughter's affairs to give much of her time or attention to them; nor do they expect it, for they all know by experience the nature of a mother's duties at such an interesting period.
The bridegroom's house is nearly in the same state of bustle as the bride's, though of a very different, description, as the preparing for the reception of a bride is an event of vast importance in the opinion of a Mussulmaun. The gentlemen assemble in the evening, and are regaled with sherbet and the hookha, and entertained with the nuutch-singing and fireworks until the appointed hour for setting out in the procession to fetch the bride to her new home.
The procession is on a grand scale; every friend or acquaintance, together with their elephants, are pressed into the service of the bridegroom on this night of Baarraat. The young man himself is mounted on a handsome charger, the legs, tail, and mane of which are dyed with mayndhie, whilst the ornamental furniture of the horse is splendid with spangles and embroidery. The dress of the bridegroom is of gold-cloth, richly trimmed with a turban to correspond, to the top of which is fastened an immense bunch of silver trimming, that falls over his face to his waist, and answers the purpose of a veil,[21] (this is in strict keeping with the Hindoo custom at their marriage processions). A select few of the females from the bridegroom's house attend in his train to bring home the bride, accompanied by innumerable torches, with bands of music, soldiers, and servants, to give effect to the procession. On their arrival at the gate of the bride's residence, the gentlemen are introduced to the father's apartments, where fireworks, music, and singing, occupy their time and attention until the hour for departure arrives.
The marriage ceremony is performed in the presence of witnesses, although the bride is not seen by any of the males at the time, not even by her husband, until they have been lawfully united according to the common form.
In the centre of the hall, in the zeenahnah, a tuckht (platform) six feet square is placed, on which the musnud of gold brocade is set. This is the bride's seat when dressed for her nuptials; she is surrounded by ladies who bear witness to the marriage ceremony. The purdahs are let down, and the Maulvee, the bridegroom, the two fathers, and a few male friends are introduced to the zeenahnah court-yard, with a flourish of trumpets and deafening sounds of drums. They advance with much gravity towards the purdahs, and arrange themselves close to this slender partition between the two sexes.
The Maulvee commences by calling on the young maiden by name, to answer to his demand, 'Is it by your own consent this marriage takes place with ——?' naming the person who is the bridegroom; the bride answers, 'It is by my consent.' The Maulvee then explains the law of Mahumud, and reads a certain chapter from that portion of the Khoraun which binds the parties in holy wedlock.[22] He then turns to the young man, and asks him to name the sum he proposes as his wife's dowry. The bridegroom thus called upon, names ten, twenty, or perhaps a hundred lacs of rupees; the Maulvee repeats to all present the amount proposed, and then prays that the young couple thus united may be blessed in this world and in eternity. All the gentlemen then retire, except the bridegroom, who is delayed, as soon as this is accomplished, entering the hall until the bride's guests have retreated into the side rooms: as soon as this is accomplished he is introduced into the presence of his mother-in-law and her daughter by the women servants. He studiously avoids looking up as he enters the hall, because, according to the custom of this people, he must first see his wife's face in a looking-glass, which is placed before the young couple, when he is seated on the musnud by his bride. Happy for him if he then beholds a face that bespeaks the gentle being he hopes Fate has destined to make him happy; if otherwise he must submit; there is no untying the sacred contract.
Many absurd customs follow this first introduction of the bride and bridegroom. When the procession is all formed, the goods and chattels of the bride are loaded on the heads of the carriers; the bridegroom conveys his young wife in his arms to the chundole (covered palankeen), which is in readiness within the court, and the procession moves off in grand style, with a perpetual din of noisy music until they arrive at the bridegroom's mansion.
The poor mother has perhaps had many struggles with her own heart to save her daughter's feelings during the preparation for departure; but when the separation takes place the scene is affecting beyond description. I never witnessed anything to equal it in other societies: indeed, so powerfully are the feelings of the mother excited, that she rarely acquires her usual composure until her daughter is allowed to revisit her, which is generally within a week after her marriage.
P.S.—I have remarked that, in important things which have nothing to do with the religion of the Mussulmauns, they are disposed to imitate the habits of the Hindoos; this is more particularly to be traced in many of their wedding customs.
In villages where there are a greater proportion of Hindoos than Mussulmauns the females of the two people mix more generally than is usually allowed in cities or large towns; and it is among this mingled population that we find the spirit of superstition influencing the female character in more marked manner than it does in more populous places, which the following anecdote, will illustrate. The parties were known to the person who related the circumstance to me.
'A learned man, a moollah[23] or head-teacher and expounder of the Mahumudan law, resided in a village six koss (twelve miles English) distant from Lucknow, the capital of Oude. This moollah was married to a woman of good family, by whom he had a large progeny of daughters. He lived in great respect, and cultivated his land with success, the produce of his farm not only supporting his own family, but enabling the good moollah to distribute largely amongst the poor, his neighbours, and the passing traveller. A hungry applicant never left his door without a meal of the same wholesome, yet humble fare, which formed his own daily sustenance. Bread and dhall he preferred to the most choice delicacies, as by this abstemious mode of living, he was enabled to feed and comfort the afflicted with the residue of his income.
'This moollah was one of the most pious men of the age, and alive to the interests of his fellow-mortals, both temporal and eternal. He gave instruction gratis to as many pupils as chose to attend his lectures, and desired to acquire from his matured knowledge an introduction to the points of faith, and instruction in the Mussulmaun laws. Numbers of young students attended his hall daily, to listen to the expounding of the rules and maxims he had acquired by a long life devoted to the service of God, and his duty to mankind. In him, many young men found a benefactor who blended instruction with temporal benefits; so mild and persuasive were this good moollah's monitions, that he lived in the affection, venerations and respect of his pupils, as a fond father in the love of his children.
'The wife of this good man managed the domestic affairs of the family, which were very little controlled by her husband's interference. On an occasion of solemnizing the nuptials of one of their daughters, the wife sent a message to the moollah, by a female slave, requiring his immediate presence in the zeenahnah, that he might perform his allotted part in the ceremony, which, as elder of the house, could not be confided to any other hands but his. This was to "tie the naarah to the moosul".[24]
'The moollah was deeply engaged in expounding to his pupils a difficult passage of the Khoraun when the slave entered and delivered her message. "Coming", he answered, without looking at the messenger, and continued his exposition.
'The good woman of the house was in momentary expectation of her husband's arrival, but when one hour had elapsed, her impatience overcame her discretion, and she dispatched the slave a second time to summon the moollah, who, in his anxiety to promote a better work, had forgotten the subject of tying the naarah to the moosul. The slave again entered the hall, and delivered her lady's message; he was then engaged in a fresh exposition, and, as before, replied "coming", but still proceeding with his subject as if he heard not the summons.
'Another hour elapsed, and the wife's ordinary patience was exhausted; "Go to your master, slave!" she said with authority in her voice and manner; "go ask your master from me, whether it is his intention to destroy the peace of his house, and the happiness of his family. Ask him, why he should delay performing so important a duty at this ceremony, when his own daughter's interest and welfare are at stake?"
'The slave faithfully conveyed the message, and the moollah, finding that his domestic peace depended on submitting to the superstitious notions of his wife, accompanied the slave to the zeenahnah without further delay.
'The moollah's compliance with the absurd desires of his wife surprised the students, who discussed the subject freely in his absence. He having always taught them the folly of prejudice and the absurdity of superstition, they could not, comprehend how it was the moollah had been led to comply with a request so much at variance with the principles he endeavoured to impress upon them.
'On his return, after a short absence, to his pupils, he was about to re-commence the passage at which he had left off to attend his wife's summons; one of the young men, however, interrupted him by the inquiry, "Whether he had performed the important business of tying the naarah to the moosul?"—"Yes," answered the moollah, very mildly, "and by so doing I have secured peace to my wife's disturbed mind."—"But how is it, reverend Sir," rejoined the student, "that your actions and your precepts are at variance? You caution us against every species of superstition, and yet that you have in this instance complied with one, is very evident."—"I grant you, my young friend," said the moollah, "that I have indeed done so, but my motive for this deviation is, I trust, correct. I could have argued with you on the folly of tying the naarah to the moosul, and you would have been convinced by my arguments; but my wife, alas! would not listen to anything but the custom—the custom of the whole village. I went with reluctance, I performed the ceremony with still greater; yet I had no alternative if I valued harmony in my household: this I have now secured by my acquiescence in the simple desire of my wife. Should any evil accident befall my daughter or her husband, I am spared the reproaches that would have been heaped upon me, as being the cause of the evil, from my refusal to tie the naarah to the moosul. The mere compliance with this absurd custom, to secure peace and harmony, does not alter my faith; I have saved others from greater offences, by my passive obedience to the wishes of my wife, who ignorantly places dependance on the act, as necessary to her daughter's welfare."