ACT II.

ACT II.Same Scene. Night. Moonlight.Captaindiscovered singing on poop-deck, and accompanying himself on a mandolin.Little Buttercupseated on quarter-deck, near gun, gazing sentimentally at him.Song.—Captain.Fair moon, to thee I sing,Bright regent of the heavens;Say, why is everythingEither at sixes or at sevens?I have lived hithertoFree from breath of slander,Beloved by all my crew—A really popular commander.But now my kindly crew rebel;My daughter to a tar is partial;Sir Joseph storms, and, sad to tell,He threatens a court martial!Fair moon, to thee I sing,Bright regent of the heavens;Say, why is everythingEither at sixes or at sevens?But.How sweetly he carols forth his melody to the unconscious moon! Of whom is he thinking? Of some high-born beauty? It may be! (Sighing.) Who is poor Little Buttercup that she should expect his glance to fall on one so lowly! And yet if he knew——[Captainhas come down from poop-deck.Capt.Ah! Little Buttercup, still on board? That is not quite right, little one. It would have been more respectable to have gone on shore at dusk.But.True, dear Captain—but the recollection of your sad pale face seemed to chain me to the ship. I would fain see you smile before I go.Capt.Ah! Little Buttercup, I fear it will be long before I recover my accustomed cheerfulness, for misfortunes crowd upon me, and all my old friends seem to have turned against me!But.Oh no—do not say “all,” dear Captain. That were unjust to one, at least.Capt.True, for you are staunch to me. (Aside.) If ever I gave my heart again, methinks it would be to such a one as this! (Aloud.) I am deeply touched by your innocent regard for me, and were we differently situated, I think I could have returned it. But as it is, I fear I can never be more to you than a friend.But.(change of manner). I understand! You hold aloof from me because you are rich and lofty—and I, poor and lowly. But take care! The poor bumboat woman has gipsy blood in her veins, and she can read destinies. There is a change in store for you!Capt.A change!But.Ay—be prepared!Duet.—Little Buttercup and Captain.But.Things are seldom what they seem:Skim milk masquerades as cream;Highlows pass as patent leathers;Jackdaws strut in peacocks’ feathers.Capt.(puzzled).Very true,So they do.But.Black sheep dwell in every foldAll that glitters is not gold;Storks turn out to be but logs;Bulls are but inflated frogs.Capt.(puzzled).So they be,Frequentlee.But.Drops the wind and stops the mill;Turbot is ambitious brill;Gild the farthing if you will,But it is a farthing still.Capt.(puzzled).Yes, I knowThat is so.Though to catch your drift I’m striving,It is shady—it is shady;I don’t see at what you’re driving,Mystic lady—mystic lady,(Aside.)Stern conviction’s o’er me stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.But.(aside).Stern conviction’s o’er him stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.Both.Yes, I knowThat is so!Capt.Though I’m anything but clever,I could talk like that for ever:Once a cat was killed by care;Only brave deserve the fair.But.Very true,So they do.Capt.Wink is often good as nod;Spoils the child who spares the rod;Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers;Dogs are found in many mangers.But.Frequentlee,I agree.Capt.Paw of cat the chestnut snatches;Worn-out garments show new patches;Only count the chick that hatches;Men are grown up catchy-catchies.But.Yes, I knowThat is so.(Aside.)Though to catch my drift he’s striving,I’ll dissemble—I’ll dissemble;When he sees at what I’m driving,Let him tremble—let him tremble!Ensemble.{ I }Though a mystic tone {you} borrow,I shall}You will} learn truth with sorrow,Here to-day and gone to-morrow;Yes, I knowThat is so![At the end exitLittle Buttercup,melodramatically.Capt.Incomprehensible as her utterances are, I nevertheless feel that they are dictated by a sincere regard for me. But to what new misery is she referring? Time alone can tell!EnterSir Joseph.Sir J.Captain Corcoran, I am much disappointed with your daughter. In fact, I don’t think she will do.Capt.She won’t do, Sir Joseph!Sir J.I’m afraid not. The fact is, that although I have urged my suit with as much eloquence as is consistent with an official utterance, I have done so hitherto without success. How do you account for this?Capt.Really, Sir Joseph, I hardly know. Josephine is, of course, sensible of your condescension.Sir J.She naturally would be.Capt.But perhaps your exalted rank dazzles her.Sir J.You think it does?Capt.I can hardly say; but she is a modest girl, and her social position is far below your own. It may be that she feels she is not worthy of you.Sir J.That is really a very sensible suggestion, and displays more knowledge of human nature than I had given you credit for.Capt.See, she comes. If your lordship would kindly reason with her, and assure her, officially, that it is a standing rule at the Admiralty that love levels all ranks, her respect for an official utterance might induce her to look upon your offer in its proper light.Sir J.It is not unlikely. I will adopt your suggestion. But soft, she is here. Let us withdraw, and watch our opportunity.EnterJosephinefrom cabin.Sir Josephretires up and watches her.Scena.—Josephine.The hours creep on apace,My guilty heart is quaking!Oh that I might retractThe step that I am taking.Its folly it were easy to be showing,What I am giving up and whither going.On the one hand, papa’s luxurious home,Hung with ancestral armour and old brasses,Carved oak and tapestry from distant Rome,Rare “blue and white” Venetian finger-glasses,Rich Oriental rugs, luxurious sofa pillows,And everything that isn’t old, from Gillow’s.And on the other, a dark dingy roomIn some back street, with stuffy children crying,Where organs yell, and clacking housewives fume,And clothes are hanging out all day a-drying;With one cracked looking-glass to see your face in,And dinner served up in a pudding basin!A simple sailor, lowly born,Unlettered and unknown,Who toils for bread from early mornTill half the night has flown!No golden rank can he impart—No wealth of house or land—No fortune save his trusty heartAnd honest brown right hand!And yet he is so wondrous fairThat love for one so passing rare,So peerless in his manly beauty,Were little else than solemn duty!Oh, god of love, and god of reason, say,Which of you twain shall my poor heart obey!Sir J.(coming forward). Madam, it has been represented to me that you are appalled by my exalted rank; I desire to convey to you, officially, my assurance that if your hesitation is attributable to that circumstance, it is uncalled for.Jos.Oh! then your lordship is of opinion that married happiness isnotinconsistent with discrepancy in rank?Sir J.I am officially of that opinion.Jos.That the high and the lowly may be truly happy together, provided that they truly love one another?Sir J.Madam, I desire to convey to you, officially, my opinion that love is a platform upon which all ranks meet.Jos.I thank you, Sir Joseph. Ididhesitate, but I will hesitate no longer. (Aside.) He little thinks how eloquently he has pleaded his rival’s cause!Captainhas entered; during this speech he comes forward.Trio.—Sir Joseph, Captain, and Josephine.Capt.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and therefore,Though his lordship’s station’s mighty,Though stupendous be his brain,Though your tastes are mean and flightyAnd your fortune poor and plain——Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!Capt.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!All.Let the air with joy be laden,Rend with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!Sir J.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and therefore,Though your nautical relation (alluding toCaptain)In my set could scarcely pass—Though you occupy a stationIn the lower middle class——Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,{his}For the union of {my} lordshipWith a humble captain’s child?Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Capt.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!All.Let the air with joy be laden,Fill with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!Jos.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and thereforeI admit its jurisdiction;Ably have you played your part;You have carried firm convictionTo my hesitating heart.Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!Capt. and Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Capt. and Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!(Aloud.)Let the air with joy be laden,Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship——Jos.For the union of a maiden——Capt. and Sir J.For the union with his lordship.All.Rend with songs the air aboveFor the man who owns her love![ExitJosephine.Capt.Sir Joseph, I cannot express to you my delight at the happy result of your eloquence. Your argument was unanswerable.Sir J.Captain Corcoran, it is one of the happiest characteristics of this glorious country that official utterances are invariably regarded as unanswerable. [ExitSir Josephinto cabin.Capt.At last my fond hopes are to be crowned. My only daughter is to be the bride of a Cabinet Minister. The prospect is Elysian.During this speechDick Deadeyehas entered.Dick.Captain!Capt.Deadeye! You here? Don’t! (Recoiling from him.)Dick.Ah, don’t shrink from me, Captain. I’m unpleasant to look at, and my name’s agin me, but I ain’t as bad as I seem.Capt.What would you with me?Dick(mysteriously). I’m come to give you warning.Capt.Indeed! Do you propose to leave the Navy, then?Dick.No, no, you misunderstand me; listen.Duet.—Captain and Dick Deadeye.Dick.Kind Captain, I’ve important information,Sing hey, the kind commander that you are!About a certain intimate relation;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!—Capt.Good fellow, in conundrums you are speaking,Sing hey, the mystic sailor that you are!The answer to them vainly I am seeking;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!Dick.Kind Captain, your young lady is a-sighing,Sing hey, the simple captain that you are!This very night with Rackstraw to be flying;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!Capt.Good fellow, you have given timely warning,Sing hey, the thoughtful sailor that you are!I’ll talk to Master Rackstraw in the morning;Sing hey, the cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!(Producing a “cat.”)Both.The merry cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!Capt.Dick Deadeye, I thank you for your warning; I will at once take means to arrest their flight. This boat-cloak will afford me ample disguise. So! (Envelopes himself in a mysterious cloak, holding it before his face.)Dick.Ha! ha! They are foiled—foiled—foiled!EnterCrewon tiptoe, withRalphandBoatswain, meetingJosephine, who enters from cabin on tiptoe, with bundle of necessaries, and accompanied byLittle Buttercup. TheCaptain, shrouded in his boat-cloak, watches them unnoticed.Ensemble.Carefully on tiptoe stealing,Breathing gently as we may,Every step with caution feeling,We will softly steal away.(Captainstamps-chord.)All(much alarmed).Goodness me!Why, what was that?Dick.Silent be,It was the cat!All(reassured).It was—it was the cat!Capt.(producing cat-o’-nine-tails).They’re right, it was the cat!All.Pull ashore, in fashion steady,Hymen will defray the fare,For a clergyman is readyTo unite the happy pair!(Stamp as before, and chord.)All.Goodness me!Why, what was that?Dick.Silent be,Again the cat!All.It was again that cat!Capt.(aside).They’re right, it was the cat!(Throwing off cloak.)Hold! (All start.)Pretty daughter of mine,I insist upon knowingWhere you may be goingWith these sons of the brine;For my excellent crew,Though foes they could thump any,Are scarcely fit company,My daughter, for you.Crew.Now, hark at that, do!Though foes we could thump any,We are scarcely fit companyFor a lady like you!Ralph.Proud officer, that haughty lip uncurl!Vain man, suppress that supercilious sneer,For I have dared to love your matchless girl,A fact well known to all my messmates here!Capt.Oh, horror!Ralph and Jos.{I,} humble, poor, and lowly born,{He,}The meanest in the port division—The butt of epauletted scorn—The mark of quarter-deck derision—Have}{my}Has} dared to raise {his} wormy eyesAbove the dust to which you’d mould {me!{him!In manhood’s glorious pride to rise.I am}{me!He is} an Englishman—behold {him!All.He is an Englishman!Boat.He is an Englishman!For he himself has said it,And it’s greatly to his credit,That he is an Englishman!All.That he is an Englishman!Boat.For he might have been a Roosian,A French, or Turk, or Proosian,Or perhaps Itali-an!All.Or perhaps Itali-an!Boat.But in spite of all temptationsTo belong to other nations,He remains an Englishman!All.Hurrah!For the true-born Englishman!Capt.(trying to repress his anger).In uttering a reprobationTo any British tar,I try to speak with moderation,But you have gone too far.I’m very sorry to disparageA humble foremast lad,But to seek your captain’s child in marriage,Why, damme, it’s too bad!During thisCousin HebeandFemale Relativeshave entered.All(shocked).Oh!Capt.Yes, damme, it’s too bad!Capt. and Dick Deadeye.Yes, damme, it’s too bad.During thisSir Josephhas appeared on poop-deck. He is horrified at the bad language.Hebe.Did you hear him—did you hear him?Oh, the monster overbearing!Don’t go near him—don’t go near him—He is swearing—he is swearing.Sir J.(with impressive dignity).My pain and my distressI find it is not easy to express;My amazement—my surprise—You may learn from the expression of my eyes!Capt.My lord, one word—the facts are known before you;The word was injudicious, I allow—But hear my explanation, I implore you,And you will be indignant, too, I vow!Sir J.I will hear of no defence,Attempt none if you’re sensible.That word of evil senseIs wholly indefensible.Go, ribald, get you henceTo your cabin with celerity.This is the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity![ExitCaptain, disgraced, followed byJosephine.All.Behold the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity!Sir J.For I’ll teach you all, ere long,To refrain from language strong.For I haven’t any sympathy for ill-bred taunts!Hebe.No more have his sisters, nor his cousins, nor his aunts.All.For he is an Englishman, etc.Sir J.Now, tell me, my fine fellow—for youarea fine fellow——Ralph.Yes, your honour.Sir J.How came your captain so far to forget himself? I am quite sure you had given him no cause for annoyance.Ralph.Please your honour, it was thus wise. You see, I’m only a topman—a mere foremast hand——Sir J.Don’t be ashamed of that. Your position as a topman is a very exalted one.Ralph.Well, your honour, love burns as brightly in thefo’c’sleas it does on the quarter-deck, and Josephine is the fairest bud that ever blossomed upon the tree of a poor fellow’s wildest hopes.EnterJosephine; she rushes toRalph’sarms.Sir Josephhorrified.She’s the figurehead of my ship of life—the bright beacon that guides me into my port of happiness—the rarest, the purest gem that ever sparkled on a poor but worthy fellow’s trusting brow.All.Very pretty.Sir J.Insolent sailor, you shall repent this outrage. Seize him![TwoMarinesseize him and handcuff him.Jos.Oh, Sir Joseph, spare him, for I love him tenderly.Sir J.Away with him. I will teach this presumptuous mariner to discipline his affections. Have you such a thing as a dungeon on board?All.We have!Sir J.Then load him with chains and take him there at once!Octette.Ralph.Farewell, my own!Light of my life, farewell!For crime unknownI go to a dungeon cell.All.For crime, etc.Jos.In the mean time, farewell!And all aloneRejoice in your dungeon cell!All.And all, etc.Sir J.A bone, a boneI’ll pick with this sailor fell;Let him be shownAt once to his dungeon cell.All.Let him, etc.Boat.}He’ll hear no toneDick.}Of the maiden he loves so well!Hebe.}No telephoneCommunicates with his cell!All.No telephone, etc.But.(mysteriously).But when is knownThe secret I have to tell,Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell.All.Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell![All repeat respective verses, ensemble. At the endRalphis led off in custody.Sir J.Josephine, I cannot tell you the distress I feel at this most painful revelation. I desire to express to you, officially, that I am hurt. You, whom I honoured by seeking in marriage—you, the daughter of a captain in the Royal Navy!But.Hold!Ihave something to say to that?Sir J.You?But.Yes, I!Song.—Buttercup.A many years ago,When I was young and charming,As some of you may knowI practised baby-farming.All.Now this is most alarming!When she was young and charming,She practised baby-farming,A many years ago.But.Two tender babes I nussed:One was of low condition,The other, upper crust,A regular patrician.All(explaining to each other).Now, this is the position:One was of low condition,The other a patrician,A many years ago.But.Oh, bitter is my cup!However could I do it?I mixed those children up,And not a creature knew it!All.However could you do it?Some day, no doubt, you’ll rue it,Although no creature knew it,So many years ago.But.In time each little waifForsook his foster-mother.The well-born babe was Ralph—Your captain was the other!All.They left their foster-mother.The one was Ralph, our brother—Our captain was the other,A many years ago.Sir J.Then I am to understand that Captain Corcoran and Ralph were exchanged in childhood’s happy hour—that Ralph is really the Captain, and the Captain is Ralph?But.That is the idea I intended to convey?Sir J.You have done it very well. Let them appear before me, at once!Ralphenters as Captain;Captainas a common sailor.Josephinerushes to his arms.Jos.My father—a common sailor!Capt.It is hard, is it not, my dear?Sir J.This is a very singular occurrence; I congratulate you both. (ToRalph.) Desire that remarkably fine seaman to step forward.Ralph.Corcoran, come here.Capt.If what? If youplease.Sir J.Perfectly right. If youplease.Ralph.Oh. If youplease.[Captainsteps forward.Sir J.(toCaptain). You are an extremely fine fellow.Capt.Yes, your honour.Sir J.So it seems that you were Ralph, and Ralph was you.Capt.So it seems, your honour.Sir J.Well, I need not tell you that after this change in your condition, a marriage with your daughter will be out of the question.Capt.Don’t say that, your honour—love levels all ranks.Sir J.It does to a considerable extent, but it does not level them as much as that. (HandingJosephinetoRalph.) Here—take her, sir, and mind you treat her kindly.Ralph and Jos.Oh, bliss! oh, rapture!Sir J.Sad my lot, and sorry,What shall I do? I cannot live alone!All.What will he do? he cannot live alone!Hebe.Fear nothing—while I live I’ll not desert you.I’ll soothe and comfort your declining days.Sir J.No, don’t do that.Hebe.Yes, but indeed I’d rather.Sir J.(resigned).To-morrow morn our vows shall all be plighted,Three loving pairs on the same day united!Duet.—Ralph and Josephine.Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!The clouded sky is now serene;The god of day—the orb of love,Has hung his ensign high above,The sky is all ablaze.With wooing words and loving song,We’ll chase the lagging hours along;{he finds}And if {I find } the maiden coy,We’ll murmur forth decorous joy,In dreamy roundelays.Capt.For he is the Captain of the Pinafore.All.And a right good captain too!Capt.And though before my fallI was Captain of you all,I’m a member of the crew.All.Although before his fall, etc.Capt.I shall marry with a wifeIn my own rank of life! (Turning toButtercup.)And you, my love, are she.I must wander to and fro,But wherever I may go,I shall never be untrue to thee!All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.Hardly ever be untrue to thee.Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the faithful seamen of the Pinafore.But.For he loves Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,I’m sure I shall never know why;But still he loves Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,Sweet Little Buttercup, ay!All.For he loves, etc.Sir J.I’m the monarch of the sea,And when I’ve married thee (toHebe)I’ll be true to the devotion that my love implants.Hebe.Then good-bye to his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts,Especially his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,His sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.For he is an Englishman,And he himself hath said it,And it’s greatly to his creditThat he is an Englishman!

Same Scene. Night. Moonlight.

Captaindiscovered singing on poop-deck, and accompanying himself on a mandolin.Little Buttercupseated on quarter-deck, near gun, gazing sentimentally at him.

Song.—Captain.

Fair moon, to thee I sing,Bright regent of the heavens;Say, why is everythingEither at sixes or at sevens?I have lived hithertoFree from breath of slander,Beloved by all my crew—A really popular commander.But now my kindly crew rebel;My daughter to a tar is partial;Sir Joseph storms, and, sad to tell,He threatens a court martial!Fair moon, to thee I sing,Bright regent of the heavens;Say, why is everythingEither at sixes or at sevens?

Fair moon, to thee I sing,

Bright regent of the heavens;

Say, why is everything

Either at sixes or at sevens?

I have lived hitherto

Free from breath of slander,

Beloved by all my crew—

A really popular commander.

But now my kindly crew rebel;

My daughter to a tar is partial;

Sir Joseph storms, and, sad to tell,

He threatens a court martial!

Fair moon, to thee I sing,

Bright regent of the heavens;

Say, why is everything

Either at sixes or at sevens?

But.How sweetly he carols forth his melody to the unconscious moon! Of whom is he thinking? Of some high-born beauty? It may be! (Sighing.) Who is poor Little Buttercup that she should expect his glance to fall on one so lowly! And yet if he knew——

[Captainhas come down from poop-deck.

Capt.Ah! Little Buttercup, still on board? That is not quite right, little one. It would have been more respectable to have gone on shore at dusk.

But.True, dear Captain—but the recollection of your sad pale face seemed to chain me to the ship. I would fain see you smile before I go.

Capt.Ah! Little Buttercup, I fear it will be long before I recover my accustomed cheerfulness, for misfortunes crowd upon me, and all my old friends seem to have turned against me!

But.Oh no—do not say “all,” dear Captain. That were unjust to one, at least.

Capt.True, for you are staunch to me. (Aside.) If ever I gave my heart again, methinks it would be to such a one as this! (Aloud.) I am deeply touched by your innocent regard for me, and were we differently situated, I think I could have returned it. But as it is, I fear I can never be more to you than a friend.

But.(change of manner). I understand! You hold aloof from me because you are rich and lofty—and I, poor and lowly. But take care! The poor bumboat woman has gipsy blood in her veins, and she can read destinies. There is a change in store for you!

Capt.A change!

But.Ay—be prepared!

Duet.—Little Buttercup and Captain.

But.Things are seldom what they seem:Skim milk masquerades as cream;Highlows pass as patent leathers;Jackdaws strut in peacocks’ feathers.Capt.(puzzled).Very true,So they do.But.Black sheep dwell in every foldAll that glitters is not gold;Storks turn out to be but logs;Bulls are but inflated frogs.Capt.(puzzled).So they be,Frequentlee.But.Drops the wind and stops the mill;Turbot is ambitious brill;Gild the farthing if you will,But it is a farthing still.Capt.(puzzled).Yes, I knowThat is so.Though to catch your drift I’m striving,It is shady—it is shady;I don’t see at what you’re driving,Mystic lady—mystic lady,(Aside.)Stern conviction’s o’er me stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.But.(aside).Stern conviction’s o’er him stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.Both.Yes, I knowThat is so!Capt.Though I’m anything but clever,I could talk like that for ever:Once a cat was killed by care;Only brave deserve the fair.But.Very true,So they do.Capt.Wink is often good as nod;Spoils the child who spares the rod;Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers;Dogs are found in many mangers.But.Frequentlee,I agree.Capt.Paw of cat the chestnut snatches;Worn-out garments show new patches;Only count the chick that hatches;Men are grown up catchy-catchies.But.Yes, I knowThat is so.(Aside.)Though to catch my drift he’s striving,I’ll dissemble—I’ll dissemble;When he sees at what I’m driving,Let him tremble—let him tremble!

But.Things are seldom what they seem:Skim milk masquerades as cream;Highlows pass as patent leathers;Jackdaws strut in peacocks’ feathers.

But.Things are seldom what they seem:

Skim milk masquerades as cream;

Highlows pass as patent leathers;

Jackdaws strut in peacocks’ feathers.

Capt.(puzzled).Very true,So they do.

Capt.(puzzled).Very true,

So they do.

But.Black sheep dwell in every foldAll that glitters is not gold;Storks turn out to be but logs;Bulls are but inflated frogs.

But.Black sheep dwell in every fold

All that glitters is not gold;

Storks turn out to be but logs;

Bulls are but inflated frogs.

Capt.(puzzled).So they be,Frequentlee.

Capt.(puzzled).So they be,

Frequentlee.

But.Drops the wind and stops the mill;Turbot is ambitious brill;Gild the farthing if you will,But it is a farthing still.

But.Drops the wind and stops the mill;

Turbot is ambitious brill;

Gild the farthing if you will,

But it is a farthing still.

Capt.(puzzled).Yes, I knowThat is so.Though to catch your drift I’m striving,It is shady—it is shady;I don’t see at what you’re driving,Mystic lady—mystic lady,(Aside.)Stern conviction’s o’er me stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.

Capt.(puzzled).Yes, I know

That is so.

Though to catch your drift I’m striving,

It is shady—it is shady;

I don’t see at what you’re driving,

Mystic lady—mystic lady,

(Aside.)Stern conviction’s o’er me stealing,

That the mystic lady’s dealing

In oracular revealing.

But.(aside).Stern conviction’s o’er him stealing,That the mystic lady’s dealingIn oracular revealing.

But.(aside).Stern conviction’s o’er him stealing,

That the mystic lady’s dealing

In oracular revealing.

Both.Yes, I knowThat is so!

Both.Yes, I know

That is so!

Capt.Though I’m anything but clever,I could talk like that for ever:Once a cat was killed by care;Only brave deserve the fair.

Capt.Though I’m anything but clever,

I could talk like that for ever:

Once a cat was killed by care;

Only brave deserve the fair.

But.Very true,So they do.

But.Very true,

So they do.

Capt.Wink is often good as nod;Spoils the child who spares the rod;Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers;Dogs are found in many mangers.

Capt.Wink is often good as nod;

Spoils the child who spares the rod;

Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers;

Dogs are found in many mangers.

But.Frequentlee,I agree.

But.Frequentlee,

I agree.

Capt.Paw of cat the chestnut snatches;Worn-out garments show new patches;Only count the chick that hatches;Men are grown up catchy-catchies.

Capt.Paw of cat the chestnut snatches;

Worn-out garments show new patches;

Only count the chick that hatches;

Men are grown up catchy-catchies.

But.Yes, I knowThat is so.(Aside.)Though to catch my drift he’s striving,I’ll dissemble—I’ll dissemble;When he sees at what I’m driving,Let him tremble—let him tremble!

But.Yes, I know

That is so.

(Aside.)Though to catch my drift he’s striving,

I’ll dissemble—I’ll dissemble;

When he sees at what I’m driving,

Let him tremble—let him tremble!

Ensemble.

{ I }Though a mystic tone {you} borrow,I shall}You will} learn truth with sorrow,Here to-day and gone to-morrow;Yes, I knowThat is so!

{ I }

Though a mystic tone {you} borrow,

I shall}

You will} learn truth with sorrow,

Here to-day and gone to-morrow;

Yes, I know

That is so!

[At the end exitLittle Buttercup,melodramatically.

Capt.Incomprehensible as her utterances are, I nevertheless feel that they are dictated by a sincere regard for me. But to what new misery is she referring? Time alone can tell!

EnterSir Joseph.

Sir J.Captain Corcoran, I am much disappointed with your daughter. In fact, I don’t think she will do.

Capt.She won’t do, Sir Joseph!

Sir J.I’m afraid not. The fact is, that although I have urged my suit with as much eloquence as is consistent with an official utterance, I have done so hitherto without success. How do you account for this?

Capt.Really, Sir Joseph, I hardly know. Josephine is, of course, sensible of your condescension.

Sir J.She naturally would be.

Capt.But perhaps your exalted rank dazzles her.

Sir J.You think it does?

Capt.I can hardly say; but she is a modest girl, and her social position is far below your own. It may be that she feels she is not worthy of you.

Sir J.That is really a very sensible suggestion, and displays more knowledge of human nature than I had given you credit for.

Capt.See, she comes. If your lordship would kindly reason with her, and assure her, officially, that it is a standing rule at the Admiralty that love levels all ranks, her respect for an official utterance might induce her to look upon your offer in its proper light.

Sir J.It is not unlikely. I will adopt your suggestion. But soft, she is here. Let us withdraw, and watch our opportunity.

EnterJosephinefrom cabin.Sir Josephretires up and watches her.

Scena.—Josephine.

The hours creep on apace,My guilty heart is quaking!Oh that I might retractThe step that I am taking.Its folly it were easy to be showing,What I am giving up and whither going.On the one hand, papa’s luxurious home,Hung with ancestral armour and old brasses,Carved oak and tapestry from distant Rome,Rare “blue and white” Venetian finger-glasses,Rich Oriental rugs, luxurious sofa pillows,And everything that isn’t old, from Gillow’s.And on the other, a dark dingy roomIn some back street, with stuffy children crying,Where organs yell, and clacking housewives fume,And clothes are hanging out all day a-drying;With one cracked looking-glass to see your face in,And dinner served up in a pudding basin!A simple sailor, lowly born,Unlettered and unknown,Who toils for bread from early mornTill half the night has flown!No golden rank can he impart—No wealth of house or land—No fortune save his trusty heartAnd honest brown right hand!And yet he is so wondrous fairThat love for one so passing rare,So peerless in his manly beauty,Were little else than solemn duty!Oh, god of love, and god of reason, say,Which of you twain shall my poor heart obey!

The hours creep on apace,My guilty heart is quaking!Oh that I might retractThe step that I am taking.Its folly it were easy to be showing,What I am giving up and whither going.

The hours creep on apace,

My guilty heart is quaking!

Oh that I might retract

The step that I am taking.

Its folly it were easy to be showing,

What I am giving up and whither going.

On the one hand, papa’s luxurious home,Hung with ancestral armour and old brasses,Carved oak and tapestry from distant Rome,Rare “blue and white” Venetian finger-glasses,Rich Oriental rugs, luxurious sofa pillows,And everything that isn’t old, from Gillow’s.And on the other, a dark dingy roomIn some back street, with stuffy children crying,Where organs yell, and clacking housewives fume,And clothes are hanging out all day a-drying;With one cracked looking-glass to see your face in,And dinner served up in a pudding basin!

On the one hand, papa’s luxurious home,

Hung with ancestral armour and old brasses,

Carved oak and tapestry from distant Rome,

Rare “blue and white” Venetian finger-glasses,

Rich Oriental rugs, luxurious sofa pillows,

And everything that isn’t old, from Gillow’s.

And on the other, a dark dingy room

In some back street, with stuffy children crying,

Where organs yell, and clacking housewives fume,

And clothes are hanging out all day a-drying;

With one cracked looking-glass to see your face in,

And dinner served up in a pudding basin!

A simple sailor, lowly born,Unlettered and unknown,Who toils for bread from early mornTill half the night has flown!No golden rank can he impart—No wealth of house or land—No fortune save his trusty heartAnd honest brown right hand!And yet he is so wondrous fairThat love for one so passing rare,So peerless in his manly beauty,Were little else than solemn duty!Oh, god of love, and god of reason, say,Which of you twain shall my poor heart obey!

A simple sailor, lowly born,

Unlettered and unknown,

Who toils for bread from early morn

Till half the night has flown!

No golden rank can he impart—

No wealth of house or land—

No fortune save his trusty heart

And honest brown right hand!

And yet he is so wondrous fair

That love for one so passing rare,

So peerless in his manly beauty,

Were little else than solemn duty!

Oh, god of love, and god of reason, say,

Which of you twain shall my poor heart obey!

Sir J.(coming forward). Madam, it has been represented to me that you are appalled by my exalted rank; I desire to convey to you, officially, my assurance that if your hesitation is attributable to that circumstance, it is uncalled for.

Jos.Oh! then your lordship is of opinion that married happiness isnotinconsistent with discrepancy in rank?

Sir J.I am officially of that opinion.

Jos.That the high and the lowly may be truly happy together, provided that they truly love one another?

Sir J.Madam, I desire to convey to you, officially, my opinion that love is a platform upon which all ranks meet.

Jos.I thank you, Sir Joseph. Ididhesitate, but I will hesitate no longer. (Aside.) He little thinks how eloquently he has pleaded his rival’s cause!

Captainhas entered; during this speech he comes forward.

Trio.—Sir Joseph, Captain, and Josephine.

Capt.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and therefore,Though his lordship’s station’s mighty,Though stupendous be his brain,Though your tastes are mean and flightyAnd your fortune poor and plain——Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!Capt.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!All.Let the air with joy be laden,Rend with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!Sir J.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and therefore,Though your nautical relation (alluding toCaptain)In my set could scarcely pass—Though you occupy a stationIn the lower middle class——Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,{his}For the union of {my} lordshipWith a humble captain’s child?Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Capt.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!All.Let the air with joy be laden,Fill with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!Jos.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and thereforeI admit its jurisdiction;Ably have you played your part;You have carried firm convictionTo my hesitating heart.Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!Capt. and Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——Capt. and Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!(Aloud.)Let the air with joy be laden,Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship——Jos.For the union of a maiden——Capt. and Sir J.For the union with his lordship.All.Rend with songs the air aboveFor the man who owns her love!

Capt.Never mind the why and wherefore,

Love can level ranks, and therefore,

Though his lordship’s station’s mighty,

Though stupendous be his brain,

Though your tastes are mean and flighty

And your fortune poor and plain——

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,

Rend the air with warbling wild,

For the union of {his} lordship

{my}

With a humble captain’s child!

Capt.For a humble captain’s daughter——

Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——

Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——

Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!

All.Let the air with joy be laden,Rend with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!

All.Let the air with joy be laden,

Rend with songs the air above,

For the union of a maiden

With the man who owns her love!

Sir J.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and therefore,Though your nautical relation (alluding toCaptain)In my set could scarcely pass—Though you occupy a stationIn the lower middle class——

Sir J.Never mind the why and wherefore,

Love can level ranks, and therefore,

Though your nautical relation (alluding toCaptain)

In my set could scarcely pass—

Though you occupy a station

In the lower middle class——

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,{his}For the union of {my} lordshipWith a humble captain’s child?

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,

Rend the air with warbling wild,

{his}

For the union of {my} lordship

With a humble captain’s child?

Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——

Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——

Capt.And a lord who rules the water——

Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!

All.Let the air with joy be laden,Fill with songs the air above,For the union of a maidenWith the man who owns her love!

All.Let the air with joy be laden,

Fill with songs the air above,

For the union of a maiden

With the man who owns her love!

Jos.Never mind the why and wherefore,Love can level ranks, and thereforeI admit its jurisdiction;Ably have you played your part;You have carried firm convictionTo my hesitating heart.

Jos.Never mind the why and wherefore,

Love can level ranks, and therefore

I admit its jurisdiction;

Ably have you played your part;

You have carried firm conviction

To my hesitating heart.

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,Rend the air with warbling wild,For the union of {his} lordship{my}With a humble captain’s child!

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship,

Rend the air with warbling wild,

For the union of {his} lordship

{my}

With a humble captain’s child!

Capt. and Sir J.For a humble captain’s daughter——

Jos.(aside).For a gallant captain’s daughter——

Capt. and Sir J.And a lord who rules the water——

Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!(Aloud.)Let the air with joy be laden,

Jos.(aside).And atarwho ploughs the water!

(Aloud.)Let the air with joy be laden,

Capt. and Sir J.Ring the merry bells on board ship——

Jos.For the union of a maiden——

Capt. and Sir J.For the union with his lordship.

All.Rend with songs the air aboveFor the man who owns her love!

All.Rend with songs the air above

For the man who owns her love!

[ExitJosephine.

Capt.Sir Joseph, I cannot express to you my delight at the happy result of your eloquence. Your argument was unanswerable.

Sir J.Captain Corcoran, it is one of the happiest characteristics of this glorious country that official utterances are invariably regarded as unanswerable. [ExitSir Josephinto cabin.

Capt.At last my fond hopes are to be crowned. My only daughter is to be the bride of a Cabinet Minister. The prospect is Elysian.

During this speechDick Deadeyehas entered.

Dick.Captain!

Capt.Deadeye! You here? Don’t! (Recoiling from him.)

Dick.Ah, don’t shrink from me, Captain. I’m unpleasant to look at, and my name’s agin me, but I ain’t as bad as I seem.

Capt.What would you with me?

Dick(mysteriously). I’m come to give you warning.

Capt.Indeed! Do you propose to leave the Navy, then?

Dick.No, no, you misunderstand me; listen.

Duet.—Captain and Dick Deadeye.

Dick.Kind Captain, I’ve important information,Sing hey, the kind commander that you are!About a certain intimate relation;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!—Capt.Good fellow, in conundrums you are speaking,Sing hey, the mystic sailor that you are!The answer to them vainly I am seeking;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!Dick.Kind Captain, your young lady is a-sighing,Sing hey, the simple captain that you are!This very night with Rackstraw to be flying;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!Both.The merry maiden and the tar!Capt.Good fellow, you have given timely warning,Sing hey, the thoughtful sailor that you are!I’ll talk to Master Rackstraw in the morning;Sing hey, the cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!(Producing a “cat.”)Both.The merry cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!

Dick.Kind Captain, I’ve important information,Sing hey, the kind commander that you are!About a certain intimate relation;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Dick.Kind Captain, I’ve important information,

Sing hey, the kind commander that you are!

About a certain intimate relation;

Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Both.The merry maiden and the tar!—

Capt.Good fellow, in conundrums you are speaking,Sing hey, the mystic sailor that you are!The answer to them vainly I am seeking;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Capt.Good fellow, in conundrums you are speaking,

Sing hey, the mystic sailor that you are!

The answer to them vainly I am seeking;

Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Both.The merry maiden and the tar!

Dick.Kind Captain, your young lady is a-sighing,Sing hey, the simple captain that you are!This very night with Rackstraw to be flying;Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Dick.Kind Captain, your young lady is a-sighing,

Sing hey, the simple captain that you are!

This very night with Rackstraw to be flying;

Sing hey, the merry maiden and the tar!

Both.The merry maiden and the tar!

Capt.Good fellow, you have given timely warning,Sing hey, the thoughtful sailor that you are!I’ll talk to Master Rackstraw in the morning;Sing hey, the cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!(Producing a “cat.”)

Capt.Good fellow, you have given timely warning,

Sing hey, the thoughtful sailor that you are!

I’ll talk to Master Rackstraw in the morning;

Sing hey, the cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!

(Producing a “cat.”)

Both.The merry cat-o’-nine-tails and the tar!

Capt.Dick Deadeye, I thank you for your warning; I will at once take means to arrest their flight. This boat-cloak will afford me ample disguise. So! (Envelopes himself in a mysterious cloak, holding it before his face.)

Dick.Ha! ha! They are foiled—foiled—foiled!

EnterCrewon tiptoe, withRalphandBoatswain, meetingJosephine, who enters from cabin on tiptoe, with bundle of necessaries, and accompanied byLittle Buttercup. TheCaptain, shrouded in his boat-cloak, watches them unnoticed.

Ensemble.

Carefully on tiptoe stealing,Breathing gently as we may,Every step with caution feeling,We will softly steal away.(Captainstamps-chord.)All(much alarmed).Goodness me!Why, what was that?Dick.Silent be,It was the cat!All(reassured).It was—it was the cat!Capt.(producing cat-o’-nine-tails).They’re right, it was the cat!All.Pull ashore, in fashion steady,Hymen will defray the fare,For a clergyman is readyTo unite the happy pair!(Stamp as before, and chord.)All.Goodness me!Why, what was that?Dick.Silent be,Again the cat!All.It was again that cat!Capt.(aside).They’re right, it was the cat!(Throwing off cloak.)Hold! (All start.)Pretty daughter of mine,I insist upon knowingWhere you may be goingWith these sons of the brine;For my excellent crew,Though foes they could thump any,Are scarcely fit company,My daughter, for you.Crew.Now, hark at that, do!Though foes we could thump any,We are scarcely fit companyFor a lady like you!Ralph.Proud officer, that haughty lip uncurl!Vain man, suppress that supercilious sneer,For I have dared to love your matchless girl,A fact well known to all my messmates here!Capt.Oh, horror!Ralph and Jos.{I,} humble, poor, and lowly born,{He,}The meanest in the port division—The butt of epauletted scorn—The mark of quarter-deck derision—Have}{my}Has} dared to raise {his} wormy eyesAbove the dust to which you’d mould {me!{him!In manhood’s glorious pride to rise.I am}{me!He is} an Englishman—behold {him!All.He is an Englishman!Boat.He is an Englishman!For he himself has said it,And it’s greatly to his credit,That he is an Englishman!All.That he is an Englishman!Boat.For he might have been a Roosian,A French, or Turk, or Proosian,Or perhaps Itali-an!All.Or perhaps Itali-an!Boat.But in spite of all temptationsTo belong to other nations,He remains an Englishman!All.Hurrah!For the true-born Englishman!Capt.(trying to repress his anger).In uttering a reprobationTo any British tar,I try to speak with moderation,But you have gone too far.I’m very sorry to disparageA humble foremast lad,But to seek your captain’s child in marriage,Why, damme, it’s too bad!During thisCousin HebeandFemale Relativeshave entered.All(shocked).Oh!Capt.Yes, damme, it’s too bad!Capt. and Dick Deadeye.Yes, damme, it’s too bad.During thisSir Josephhas appeared on poop-deck. He is horrified at the bad language.Hebe.Did you hear him—did you hear him?Oh, the monster overbearing!Don’t go near him—don’t go near him—He is swearing—he is swearing.Sir J.(with impressive dignity).My pain and my distressI find it is not easy to express;My amazement—my surprise—You may learn from the expression of my eyes!Capt.My lord, one word—the facts are known before you;The word was injudicious, I allow—But hear my explanation, I implore you,And you will be indignant, too, I vow!Sir J.I will hear of no defence,Attempt none if you’re sensible.That word of evil senseIs wholly indefensible.Go, ribald, get you henceTo your cabin with celerity.This is the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity![ExitCaptain, disgraced, followed byJosephine.All.Behold the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity!Sir J.For I’ll teach you all, ere long,To refrain from language strong.For I haven’t any sympathy for ill-bred taunts!Hebe.No more have his sisters, nor his cousins, nor his aunts.All.For he is an Englishman, etc.

Carefully on tiptoe stealing,Breathing gently as we may,Every step with caution feeling,We will softly steal away.

Carefully on tiptoe stealing,

Breathing gently as we may,

Every step with caution feeling,

We will softly steal away.

(Captainstamps-chord.)

All(much alarmed).Goodness me!Why, what was that?

All(much alarmed).Goodness me!

Why, what was that?

Dick.Silent be,It was the cat!

Dick.Silent be,

It was the cat!

All(reassured).It was—it was the cat!

Capt.(producing cat-o’-nine-tails).They’re right, it was the cat!

Capt.(producing cat-o’-nine-tails).

They’re right, it was the cat!

All.Pull ashore, in fashion steady,Hymen will defray the fare,For a clergyman is readyTo unite the happy pair!

All.Pull ashore, in fashion steady,

Hymen will defray the fare,

For a clergyman is ready

To unite the happy pair!

(Stamp as before, and chord.)

All.Goodness me!Why, what was that?

All.Goodness me!

Why, what was that?

Dick.Silent be,Again the cat!

Dick.Silent be,

Again the cat!

All.It was again that cat!

Capt.(aside).They’re right, it was the cat!

(Throwing off cloak.)Hold! (All start.)Pretty daughter of mine,I insist upon knowingWhere you may be goingWith these sons of the brine;For my excellent crew,Though foes they could thump any,Are scarcely fit company,My daughter, for you.

(Throwing off cloak.)Hold! (All start.)

Pretty daughter of mine,

I insist upon knowing

Where you may be going

With these sons of the brine;

For my excellent crew,

Though foes they could thump any,

Are scarcely fit company,

My daughter, for you.

Crew.Now, hark at that, do!Though foes we could thump any,We are scarcely fit companyFor a lady like you!

Crew.Now, hark at that, do!

Though foes we could thump any,

We are scarcely fit company

For a lady like you!

Ralph.Proud officer, that haughty lip uncurl!Vain man, suppress that supercilious sneer,For I have dared to love your matchless girl,A fact well known to all my messmates here!

Ralph.Proud officer, that haughty lip uncurl!

Vain man, suppress that supercilious sneer,

For I have dared to love your matchless girl,

A fact well known to all my messmates here!

Capt.Oh, horror!

Ralph and Jos.{I,} humble, poor, and lowly born,{He,}The meanest in the port division—The butt of epauletted scorn—The mark of quarter-deck derision—Have}{my}Has} dared to raise {his} wormy eyesAbove the dust to which you’d mould {me!{him!In manhood’s glorious pride to rise.I am}{me!He is} an Englishman—behold {him!

Ralph and Jos.{I,} humble, poor, and lowly born,

{He,}

The meanest in the port division—

The butt of epauletted scorn—

The mark of quarter-deck derision—

Have}{my}

Has} dared to raise {his} wormy eyes

Above the dust to which you’d mould {me!

{him!

In manhood’s glorious pride to rise.

I am}{me!

He is} an Englishman—behold {him!

All.He is an Englishman!

Boat.He is an Englishman!For he himself has said it,And it’s greatly to his credit,That he is an Englishman!

Boat.He is an Englishman!

For he himself has said it,

And it’s greatly to his credit,

That he is an Englishman!

All.That he is an Englishman!

Boat.For he might have been a Roosian,A French, or Turk, or Proosian,Or perhaps Itali-an!

Boat.For he might have been a Roosian,

A French, or Turk, or Proosian,

Or perhaps Itali-an!

All.Or perhaps Itali-an!

Boat.But in spite of all temptationsTo belong to other nations,He remains an Englishman!

Boat.But in spite of all temptations

To belong to other nations,

He remains an Englishman!

All.Hurrah!For the true-born Englishman!

All.Hurrah!

For the true-born Englishman!

Capt.(trying to repress his anger).In uttering a reprobationTo any British tar,I try to speak with moderation,But you have gone too far.I’m very sorry to disparageA humble foremast lad,But to seek your captain’s child in marriage,Why, damme, it’s too bad!

Capt.(trying to repress his anger).

In uttering a reprobation

To any British tar,

I try to speak with moderation,

But you have gone too far.

I’m very sorry to disparage

A humble foremast lad,

But to seek your captain’s child in marriage,

Why, damme, it’s too bad!

During thisCousin HebeandFemale Relativeshave entered.

All(shocked).Oh!

Capt.Yes, damme, it’s too bad!

Capt. and Dick Deadeye.Yes, damme, it’s too bad.

During thisSir Josephhas appeared on poop-deck. He is horrified at the bad language.

Hebe.Did you hear him—did you hear him?Oh, the monster overbearing!Don’t go near him—don’t go near him—He is swearing—he is swearing.

Hebe.Did you hear him—did you hear him?

Oh, the monster overbearing!

Don’t go near him—don’t go near him—

He is swearing—he is swearing.

Sir J.(with impressive dignity).My pain and my distressI find it is not easy to express;My amazement—my surprise—You may learn from the expression of my eyes!

Sir J.(with impressive dignity).

My pain and my distress

I find it is not easy to express;

My amazement—my surprise—

You may learn from the expression of my eyes!

Capt.My lord, one word—the facts are known before you;The word was injudicious, I allow—But hear my explanation, I implore you,And you will be indignant, too, I vow!

Capt.My lord, one word—the facts are known before you;

The word was injudicious, I allow—

But hear my explanation, I implore you,

And you will be indignant, too, I vow!

Sir J.I will hear of no defence,Attempt none if you’re sensible.That word of evil senseIs wholly indefensible.Go, ribald, get you henceTo your cabin with celerity.This is the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity!

Sir J.I will hear of no defence,

Attempt none if you’re sensible.

That word of evil sense

Is wholly indefensible.

Go, ribald, get you hence

To your cabin with celerity.

This is the consequence

Of ill-advised asperity!

[ExitCaptain, disgraced, followed byJosephine.

All.Behold the consequenceOf ill-advised asperity!

All.Behold the consequence

Of ill-advised asperity!

Sir J.For I’ll teach you all, ere long,To refrain from language strong.For I haven’t any sympathy for ill-bred taunts!

Sir J.For I’ll teach you all, ere long,

To refrain from language strong.

For I haven’t any sympathy for ill-bred taunts!

Hebe.No more have his sisters, nor his cousins, nor his aunts.

All.For he is an Englishman, etc.

Sir J.Now, tell me, my fine fellow—for youarea fine fellow——

Ralph.Yes, your honour.

Sir J.How came your captain so far to forget himself? I am quite sure you had given him no cause for annoyance.

Ralph.Please your honour, it was thus wise. You see, I’m only a topman—a mere foremast hand——

Sir J.Don’t be ashamed of that. Your position as a topman is a very exalted one.

Ralph.Well, your honour, love burns as brightly in thefo’c’sleas it does on the quarter-deck, and Josephine is the fairest bud that ever blossomed upon the tree of a poor fellow’s wildest hopes.

EnterJosephine; she rushes toRalph’sarms.Sir Josephhorrified.

She’s the figurehead of my ship of life—the bright beacon that guides me into my port of happiness—the rarest, the purest gem that ever sparkled on a poor but worthy fellow’s trusting brow.

All.Very pretty.

Sir J.Insolent sailor, you shall repent this outrage. Seize him!

[TwoMarinesseize him and handcuff him.

Jos.Oh, Sir Joseph, spare him, for I love him tenderly.

Sir J.Away with him. I will teach this presumptuous mariner to discipline his affections. Have you such a thing as a dungeon on board?

All.We have!

Sir J.Then load him with chains and take him there at once!

Octette.

Ralph.Farewell, my own!Light of my life, farewell!For crime unknownI go to a dungeon cell.All.For crime, etc.Jos.In the mean time, farewell!And all aloneRejoice in your dungeon cell!All.And all, etc.Sir J.A bone, a boneI’ll pick with this sailor fell;Let him be shownAt once to his dungeon cell.All.Let him, etc.Boat.}He’ll hear no toneDick.}Of the maiden he loves so well!Hebe.}No telephoneCommunicates with his cell!All.No telephone, etc.But.(mysteriously).But when is knownThe secret I have to tell,Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell.All.Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell!

Ralph.Farewell, my own!Light of my life, farewell!For crime unknownI go to a dungeon cell.

Ralph.Farewell, my own!

Light of my life, farewell!

For crime unknown

I go to a dungeon cell.

All.For crime, etc.

Jos.In the mean time, farewell!And all aloneRejoice in your dungeon cell!

Jos.In the mean time, farewell!

And all alone

Rejoice in your dungeon cell!

All.And all, etc.

Sir J.A bone, a boneI’ll pick with this sailor fell;Let him be shownAt once to his dungeon cell.

Sir J.A bone, a bone

I’ll pick with this sailor fell;

Let him be shown

At once to his dungeon cell.

All.Let him, etc.

Boat.}He’ll hear no toneDick.}Of the maiden he loves so well!Hebe.}No telephoneCommunicates with his cell!

Boat.}He’ll hear no tone

Dick.}Of the maiden he loves so well!

Hebe.}No telephone

Communicates with his cell!

All.No telephone, etc.

But.(mysteriously).But when is knownThe secret I have to tell,Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell.

But.(mysteriously).

But when is known

The secret I have to tell,

Wide will be thrown

The door of his dungeon cell.

All.Wide will be thrownThe door of his dungeon cell!

All.Wide will be thrown

The door of his dungeon cell!

[All repeat respective verses, ensemble. At the endRalphis led off in custody.

Sir J.Josephine, I cannot tell you the distress I feel at this most painful revelation. I desire to express to you, officially, that I am hurt. You, whom I honoured by seeking in marriage—you, the daughter of a captain in the Royal Navy!

But.Hold!Ihave something to say to that?

Sir J.You?

But.Yes, I!

Song.—Buttercup.

A many years ago,When I was young and charming,As some of you may knowI practised baby-farming.All.Now this is most alarming!When she was young and charming,She practised baby-farming,A many years ago.But.Two tender babes I nussed:One was of low condition,The other, upper crust,A regular patrician.All(explaining to each other).Now, this is the position:One was of low condition,The other a patrician,A many years ago.But.Oh, bitter is my cup!However could I do it?I mixed those children up,And not a creature knew it!All.However could you do it?Some day, no doubt, you’ll rue it,Although no creature knew it,So many years ago.But.In time each little waifForsook his foster-mother.The well-born babe was Ralph—Your captain was the other!All.They left their foster-mother.The one was Ralph, our brother—Our captain was the other,A many years ago.

A many years ago,When I was young and charming,As some of you may knowI practised baby-farming.

A many years ago,

When I was young and charming,

As some of you may know

I practised baby-farming.

All.Now this is most alarming!When she was young and charming,She practised baby-farming,A many years ago.

All.Now this is most alarming!

When she was young and charming,

She practised baby-farming,

A many years ago.

But.Two tender babes I nussed:One was of low condition,The other, upper crust,A regular patrician.

But.Two tender babes I nussed:

One was of low condition,

The other, upper crust,

A regular patrician.

All(explaining to each other).Now, this is the position:One was of low condition,The other a patrician,A many years ago.

All(explaining to each other).

Now, this is the position:

One was of low condition,

The other a patrician,

A many years ago.

But.Oh, bitter is my cup!However could I do it?I mixed those children up,And not a creature knew it!

But.Oh, bitter is my cup!

However could I do it?

I mixed those children up,

And not a creature knew it!

All.However could you do it?Some day, no doubt, you’ll rue it,Although no creature knew it,So many years ago.

All.However could you do it?

Some day, no doubt, you’ll rue it,

Although no creature knew it,

So many years ago.

But.In time each little waifForsook his foster-mother.The well-born babe was Ralph—Your captain was the other!

But.In time each little waif

Forsook his foster-mother.

The well-born babe was Ralph—

Your captain was the other!

All.They left their foster-mother.The one was Ralph, our brother—Our captain was the other,A many years ago.

All.They left their foster-mother.

The one was Ralph, our brother—

Our captain was the other,

A many years ago.

Sir J.Then I am to understand that Captain Corcoran and Ralph were exchanged in childhood’s happy hour—that Ralph is really the Captain, and the Captain is Ralph?

But.That is the idea I intended to convey?

Sir J.You have done it very well. Let them appear before me, at once!

Ralphenters as Captain;Captainas a common sailor.Josephinerushes to his arms.

Jos.My father—a common sailor!

Capt.It is hard, is it not, my dear?

Sir J.This is a very singular occurrence; I congratulate you both. (ToRalph.) Desire that remarkably fine seaman to step forward.

Ralph.Corcoran, come here.

Capt.If what? If youplease.

Sir J.Perfectly right. If youplease.

Ralph.Oh. If youplease.

[Captainsteps forward.

Sir J.(toCaptain). You are an extremely fine fellow.

Capt.Yes, your honour.

Sir J.So it seems that you were Ralph, and Ralph was you.

Capt.So it seems, your honour.

Sir J.Well, I need not tell you that after this change in your condition, a marriage with your daughter will be out of the question.

Capt.Don’t say that, your honour—love levels all ranks.

Sir J.It does to a considerable extent, but it does not level them as much as that. (HandingJosephinetoRalph.) Here—take her, sir, and mind you treat her kindly.

Ralph and Jos.Oh, bliss! oh, rapture!Sir J.Sad my lot, and sorry,What shall I do? I cannot live alone!All.What will he do? he cannot live alone!Hebe.Fear nothing—while I live I’ll not desert you.I’ll soothe and comfort your declining days.Sir J.No, don’t do that.Hebe.Yes, but indeed I’d rather.Sir J.(resigned).To-morrow morn our vows shall all be plighted,Three loving pairs on the same day united!

Ralph and Jos.Oh, bliss! oh, rapture!

Sir J.Sad my lot, and sorry,What shall I do? I cannot live alone!

Sir J.Sad my lot, and sorry,

What shall I do? I cannot live alone!

All.What will he do? he cannot live alone!

Hebe.Fear nothing—while I live I’ll not desert you.I’ll soothe and comfort your declining days.

Hebe.Fear nothing—while I live I’ll not desert you.

I’ll soothe and comfort your declining days.

Sir J.No, don’t do that.

Hebe.Yes, but indeed I’d rather.

Sir J.(resigned).To-morrow morn our vows shall all be plighted,Three loving pairs on the same day united!

Sir J.(resigned).

To-morrow morn our vows shall all be plighted,

Three loving pairs on the same day united!

Duet.—Ralph and Josephine.

Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!The clouded sky is now serene;The god of day—the orb of love,Has hung his ensign high above,The sky is all ablaze.With wooing words and loving song,We’ll chase the lagging hours along;{he finds}And if {I find } the maiden coy,We’ll murmur forth decorous joy,In dreamy roundelays.Capt.For he is the Captain of the Pinafore.All.And a right good captain too!Capt.And though before my fallI was Captain of you all,I’m a member of the crew.All.Although before his fall, etc.Capt.I shall marry with a wifeIn my own rank of life! (Turning toButtercup.)And you, my love, are she.I must wander to and fro,But wherever I may go,I shall never be untrue to thee!All.What, never?Capt.No, never!All.What,never?Capt.Hardly ever!All.Hardly ever be untrue to thee.Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the faithful seamen of the Pinafore.But.For he loves Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,I’m sure I shall never know why;But still he loves Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,Sweet Little Buttercup, ay!All.For he loves, etc.Sir J.I’m the monarch of the sea,And when I’ve married thee (toHebe)I’ll be true to the devotion that my love implants.Hebe.Then good-bye to his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts,Especially his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,His sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!All.For he is an Englishman,And he himself hath said it,And it’s greatly to his creditThat he is an Englishman!

Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!The clouded sky is now serene;The god of day—the orb of love,Has hung his ensign high above,The sky is all ablaze.

Oh, joy! oh, rapture unforeseen!

The clouded sky is now serene;

The god of day—the orb of love,

Has hung his ensign high above,

The sky is all ablaze.

With wooing words and loving song,We’ll chase the lagging hours along;{he finds}And if {I find } the maiden coy,We’ll murmur forth decorous joy,In dreamy roundelays.

With wooing words and loving song,

We’ll chase the lagging hours along;

{he finds}

And if {I find } the maiden coy,

We’ll murmur forth decorous joy,

In dreamy roundelays.

Capt.For he is the Captain of the Pinafore.

All.And a right good captain too!

Capt.And though before my fallI was Captain of you all,I’m a member of the crew.

Capt.And though before my fall

I was Captain of you all,

I’m a member of the crew.

All.Although before his fall, etc.

Capt.I shall marry with a wifeIn my own rank of life! (Turning toButtercup.)And you, my love, are she.I must wander to and fro,But wherever I may go,I shall never be untrue to thee!

Capt.I shall marry with a wife

In my own rank of life! (Turning toButtercup.)

And you, my love, are she.

I must wander to and fro,

But wherever I may go,

I shall never be untrue to thee!

All.What, never?

Capt.No, never!

All.What,never?

Capt.Hardly ever!

All.Hardly ever be untrue to thee.Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,For the faithful seamen of the Pinafore.

All.Hardly ever be untrue to thee.

Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,

For the faithful seamen of the Pinafore.

But.For he loves Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,I’m sure I shall never know why;But still he loves Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,Sweet Little Buttercup, ay!

But.For he loves Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup,

I’m sure I shall never know why;

But still he loves Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup,

Sweet Little Buttercup, ay!

All.For he loves, etc.

Sir J.I’m the monarch of the sea,And when I’ve married thee (toHebe)I’ll be true to the devotion that my love implants.

Sir J.I’m the monarch of the sea,

And when I’ve married thee (toHebe)

I’ll be true to the devotion that my love implants.

Hebe.Then good-bye to his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts,Especially his cousins,Whom he reckons up by dozens,His sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

Hebe.Then good-bye to his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts,

Especially his cousins,

Whom he reckons up by dozens,

His sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

All.For he is an Englishman,And he himself hath said it,And it’s greatly to his creditThat he is an Englishman!

All.For he is an Englishman,

And he himself hath said it,

And it’s greatly to his credit

That he is an Englishman!

THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE;OR,THE SLAVE OF DUTY.AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL COMIC OPERA,IN TWO ACTS.First produced at the Opera Comique Theatre, byMr. R. D’Oyly Carte,on Saturday, 3rd April, 1880.DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.Major-General StanleyMr. George Grossmith.The Pirate KingMr. Richard Temple.Samuel,his LieutenantMr. George Temple.Frederic,the Pirate ApprenticeMr. George Power.Sergeant of PoliceMr. Rutland Barrington.Mabel,General Stanley’s DaughterMiss Marion Hood.EdithMiss Jessie Bond.KateMiss JuliaGwynne.IsabelMiss M. Barlow.Ruth,a Pirate Maid of all WorkMiss Alice Barnett.Chorus of Pirates, Police, and General Stanley’s Daughters.

AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL COMIC OPERA,IN TWO ACTS.

First produced at the Opera Comique Theatre, byMr. R. D’Oyly Carte,on Saturday, 3rd April, 1880.

Chorus of Pirates, Police, and General Stanley’s Daughters.

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