FUN FROM THE WHEEL.
COLLEGEPROFESSOR: Mr. Wheeler, can you give me a definition of a philosopher?
MR. WHEELER(A racing man, with a grudge against the handicapper): A philosopher is a fellow who starts from scratch with a man ten seconds faster than he is, just to show the handicapper how little he knows about his business.
ITis said to be a poor rule that does not work both ways. Messrs. Salmon Bros., of Denver, are trying to introduce the Fly Cycle Co.’s wheels to American riders. A fly has long been the bait used to land salmon, but this is the first case on record where the salmon has reversed this order of things, and himself used the fly for bait. It would seem odd to ask the rider of one of these machines what machine he rode, and have him reply a “fly-wheel,” wouldn’t it?
“IUNDERSTANDHeaderboy has grown wealthy of late,” remarked the old member of the Whangdoodle Wheelers to the club captain.
“Yes, he’s making about fifty dollars a week now.”
“Doing what? Why he can’t even ride a wheel without falling of.”
“That’s just it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why, you see, he carries two or three accident insurance policies, rides a fifty-four-inch wheel when he measures for a fifty inch, so he has only to ride and take headers, to combine pleasure with profit.”
ITis said that Kluge, the well-known racing man of the Hudson County Wheelmen, owes his success upon the road and path to his profession as a paper-hanger. It teaches him to thoroughly “size up” the abilities of his opponents, and thus defeat them by taking advantage of their weaknesses.
RACING TERMS AND DEFINITIONS.
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