CHAPTER VIII.Marriage [concluded].Husband and Wife.Topreserve the marriage vow inviolate, the same pure love that brought the two together should be cultivated by home uses and home amusements such as readings, games, conversation, etc. If the wife have needle work, let the husband read or talk to her; if he be a literary man, let her presence cheer him on and inspire him to nobler and more refined productions. What was done during courtship that made time pass so rapidly and so pleasantly? Was every topic so discussed and used up that nothing is now left for an exchange of views? Is carnal pleasure to be the only binding tie? Such a life is not very pure and only a poor use can be made of it. Topics of interest to a married pair should be innumerable and their pleasures inexhaustible. Home is the soil in which the tree is to grow; and the richer the soil, the better for the tree, and the more numerous will be the branches, all of them vigorously developing buds and leaves,blossoms and fruit, which will be most fragrant, beautiful and useful. When amusement outside of home is sought let it be, as far as possible, of a nature that both may enjoy it equally.Husband and Wife! He, being of larger mould in every particular, in head, chest, and all the vital organs, is the provider, the protector, the guardian of his home; he, the masculine, or representative of the Truth, is to lead the way in conducting home or business affairs. She, the feminine, or representative of the Good, inclines to the good way continually; and, as married partners, Good and Truth should be married in them. There cannot be a true evil way nor a good false way; there can only be a true good way and a good true way. So the wife, the good, must conjoin herself to her husband, the truth, in order that every truth may result in good; and the husband, the truth, should seek to be conjoined to the wife, the good, that every good may become true. In this there is much wisdom: if the husband be truly wise he will always be sure that all his projects are tempered with good; while if the wife be truly good, all her doings will be enlightened by truth. As hand in hand they thus go through life's planning and doing, the husband willalways be assisted by his good, the wife; and the wife will be led on in good by her truth, the husband. By taking this high and holy ground, there will be experienced pleasure and happiness by the married couple, far transcending all other modes of life in existence. Then will each and every organ in the body be seen to have a fitness, a place, and a use which could not possibly be dispensed with, because, each and all these organs have an originating cause in the mental and spiritual parts of mankind, from which they proceed and from which they exist. Thus we see how wrong, how frightfully wrong it is to abuse, or pervert the use of,anyof these physical organs which are so sacred and so important to the welfare of the human family. “Dishonor the body, the temple of the soul, and you dishonor the soul.” “If any man defile the temple of God, him will God destroy.”—I. Cor. 3:17.When married, the battle for one united and harmonious life really begins. The wife's great and supreme love for her husband personally, will allow many privileges which under other circumstances her timidity and chastity would refuse. Tenderly and with great consideration should these privileges be accepted. For, contrary to the opinion ofmany men, there is no sexual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to grant such liberties. Then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions! Sometimes such a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover from it for years; and in consequence of this shock, rudely or thoughtlessly administered, she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life. These sexual unions serve to bring the married pair into a perfectly harmonious relation to each other. And just as tenderly, lovingly and harmoniously should they join in each and all the daily uses of life which they are called upon to perform. The sexual relation is among the most important uses of married life; it vivifies the affections for each other, as nothing else in this world can, and is a powerful reminder of their mutual obligations to one another and to the community in which they live. Indulgence, however, should not be too frequent, lest it debilitate the pair and undermine their health. The bridegroom and husband should carefully watch over his bride and wife to see that she is not a sufferer and should govern himself accordingly. It is better that these renewedobligations should be made at stated periods, as man is governed so much by habit. As a rule, once or twice a week, or in some cases once in two weeks, is sufficient; but once a week will suffice in many cases for healthful purposes. During the menstrual flow there should be an entire cessation of the conjugal act. When pregnancy occurs it is in most cases, more healthful and better for the expectant mother to allow intercourse at regular times, very gently, throughout her gestation.The object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the two together and binds them together, in the procreation and rearing of children for Heaven. This is the only true aim and sole object about which every earthly desire, interest and plan of the married pair should cluster.As to the question of child-bearing.No greater crime in the sight of Heaven exists to-day than that of perverting the natural uses of marriage. This is done in a great variety of ways, every one of which is criminal, in whatever form practised; and none will escape the penalty—no, not one. Nature's laws are inexorable; every transgression thereof is surely punished, even at theclimacteric period, if not before. The questions of failing health, of physical inability, ortoo frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation, advice and decision of an experienced, judicious and upright physician. They should never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves. And to the objection “can't afford to have children; they cost too much,” I have faith enough to reply, “Our Heavenly Father never sends more mouths than he can feed.” Let each one do his and her duty in life and this cavil falls to the ground like water—which, when spilled, cannot be gathered up.Good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children. How often is Queen Victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this respect: she accepted and acknowledged Prince Albert as her husband and gave herself to him as his wife; and so indeed she was in every sense of the term. Although a Queen, sitting on the pinnacle of power, she did not seek to avoid the pangs, the dangers or inconveniences of child-bearing. By her own personal strength her twelve children were brought forth and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the suffering. She nursed, caressed and loved them like a good mother and she was aroyal mother! Other kings and queenshave done likewise; other husbands and wives, high in power, wealth and fashion have done and are still doing the same. And how much the less should we, in the humbler walks of life, obey the Divine command “Be fruitful and multiply.”If a husband truly loves his wife and if she truly loves him, they will live for each other and in each other, and they will be one; and they will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation. To apply to life the truths advanced above and to realize them, will require great effort by the parties in question. This manner of life will not come of itself; it is too good to come without working for. Mutual concessions must be made daily, and several times a day; one's own way must frequently be given up, and always when discovered to be a selfish way, because the mutual good is always to be consulted. Questions of importance should be discussed freely and dispassionately, and a good reason be established before adopting actions that may not lead to proper results. In the marriage co-partnership the interest in the right and the wrong, the loss and the gain, the lights and the shadows, the pleasures and the pains, should be equally shared; because they concern one just asmuch as the other, and should be equally enjoyed, and equally borne by both.A start is made with loving hearts and this state of affairs must never be allowed to diminish. The husband should ever be glad to see his wife, and the wife should ever be glad to see her husband. How many husbands never know what reception they will meet with on returning home after their anxious and exhausting business hours are over for the day; it may be a happy or a very unhappy one. How much it consoles, encourages, lifts up, and rests a man to return to his home after the trying scenes of a day busily spent in providing for the support of his family are over, to find his wife affectionate and serene, and all about the house brilliant with contentment. Such a wife if she has troubles, and of course she has just as many troubles as the husband, though of a different kind, and wishes to call the attention of her husband to them, will do it at a proper time, when she knows it will annoy him the least, and when he will be able to give her the most assistance. She will never try to annoy him; but endeavoring to be a true help-meet will seek in a proper and loving way to get him to be the same to her. The wife will gain and command the respect of herhusband only through kind and loving ways. By her love constantly and judiciously administered she will lead him onward and upward to higher aspirations and better circumstances in life, throughout their days of united existence. A scolding, fretting, worrying and selfish wife has ruined for life many a husband.All the “self-denial” however, as it is called by some, is not on the wife's side; the husband too must be forbearing; he must remember on his way home at night that his faithful wife, who has been at home all day, has had trials and disappointments in her domestic affairs; and he must not be disappointed to find domestic arrangements a little disordered, and his wife somewhat chagrined that, under the circumstances, she really could give him no better a reception than he may experience. He must always try to make the best of it and be satisfied. He must not find fault with the cooking, for instance, but must be perfectly content with everything as it is until his well-managing wife has had time to overcome her difficulties and troubles.Never find fault with your wife under any circumstances; let your intellect discover a way to better things if need be. A really wise man will never allow a harsh word to escapehis lips to a loving wife, or to his harmless children. By so living together a wise husband and a loving wife will soon discover that they two are but complemental to each other—like the Will and Understanding of one individual.CHAPTER IX.TO THE UNFORTUNATE.Letno one imagine that, because he or she has committed any of the great errors enumerated in former chapters, there is no hopeful future. Such a conclusion need not, necessarily, be accepted. In very many cases where there is awillto reform, there is also away; and very often a complete cure and restoration to health may be effected. Diseased bones may be made sound; ulcerations healed; sore throats cured; blemishes on the skin removed; urinary difficulties may be dissipated or at least greatly ameliorated; sexual disorders remedied; impaired eyes much improved and defective vision much benefited if not wholly restored; the auditory apparatus helped if not fully cured; and the distracted mind, with its fanciful imageries, rendered tranquil and rational.To accomplish all this themindmust lead the way. The brain must assert its supremacy, and the will-power become absolute. It is only where there is a will, an indomitable will, that a way out of these direful difficultiesis afforded. Let happen what may, no opposing influences should dampen the determination to press forward to reformation; and then, sooner or later, the conquest will be made.To begin with, when the mind is fully determined to overcome all obstacles or perish in the attempt, consult a judicious physician as advised in the preface of this book. Lose no time with quackery in any shape or form. Do not be beguiled by those who promise “a speedy cure.” Speedy cures cannot be made in these cases. Strong determination to improve aided by proper medication can, in bad cases, only restore a healthful condition in from two to three years. The system requires to be made over anew as it were. The current of life must be turned into new channels. New thoughts and new blood must be made to take the place of what were wrong and polluted. This will take time and perseverance; and then, little by little the old enemies will be overcome and driven out. But progress for the better must be measured only from month to month and even then there may be apparent relapses. Let me however asseverate, from my abundance of experience in these cases, that there is ultimately, after a reasonable time, everyhope of becoming sound and healthy again.Many young persons are rendered quite distracted by the sexual instinct being too strong. It infests them and goads them on to the commission of further unseemly acts—though suffering much from past transgressions—which it seems almost impossible to avoid. The sensation haunts and clings to them day and night, in spite of every attempt to rise superior thereto. Sometimes nocturnal pollutions, or “wet dreams,” as they are commonly termed, result from these or other causes. There must be some cause for this state of things and a rigid examination into one's mode of life should ascertain the same. It may come from errors in diet, in eating or drinking; in the use of highly seasoned food; or the taking of some medicinal drug substance. It is well known that many drugs have the power of producing such a condition. Should any of the above seem to act as causes, a change should be made at once. The plainest diet and simplest mode of life is always best in sickness or in health. Again, one may take too little exercise in the open air. If so, an abundance of physical exertion should be made daily, to insure a natural and healthy condition of all organs of the body. Or, uncomfortable conditions may arise, as they oftendo, from some morbid condition of the vital forces. If diet and exercise are insufficient, the judicious physician should be consulted and every symptom or unnatural sensation from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet, should be carefully described to him. In all probability he will remedy the trouble, thus restoring peace and happiness. The generative organs are as liable to be affected by a morbid state of the vital forces, as are any other organs of the body; and when so affected they are just as amenable to treatment.The above condition of affairs is not, however, confined to the male sex. Females often suffer equally and in the same way. Many young persons, of both sexes, have fallen victims to these disorders who could have been cured by proper medical treatment. A female suffering from the ill effects of any bad habit contracted in youth, or from any sexual or venereal disorder, should seek medical aid with the same promptness and openness of heart as a male. To overcome the vicious habit of self-abuse is no trifling matter; it will require the persistent application of indomitable will, aided by Christianity—by oft repeated appeals to the Lord for aid, who lends a willing ear anda helping hand to the poor and needy. When reformation is determined upon, it is better to consult a physician at once and act under his advice. Besides directing the proper diet and plenty of vigorous exercise in the open air, he will prescribe the proper medicament.Cases of real syphilitic poisoning are most serious affections, and everyone should know of the fearful effects of this poison—how searchingly it infests the whole system, and how it contaminates the blood and every tissue in the body. Such cases, therefore, should not be trifled with in any way. Advertised nostrums should be particularly avoided. For, if this poison be simply smothered in one's blood instead of being wholly eradicated and cured, it will be sure to seize upon the offspring and either destroy them before birth or during dentition. The bare fear of such contamination should be amply sufficient to deter everyone from exposinghim- or herselfto the risk. But, having fallen, by all means seek the aid of a judicious physician. An experience of nearly forty years in the treatment of these cases, in both sexes, has given me the power to know whereof I speak; and I do declare that a very large percentage of these cases can becured in a safe manner; and so perfectly cured too, that there will be no danger of transmitting the infection to the offspring. I, by no means stand alone in this statement; many other physicians, after long years of experience assert the same truth.Therefore, let no one be discouraged, no matter how far he, or she, has strayed from the paths of virtue or how much suffering has been entailed thereby. In connection with the physician's help, aid yourself. Have courage! Let the invincible will lead on unflinchingly—upheld by pure thoughts, and good actions will surely follow. “Desire is really dangerous only when it brings voluptuous pictures incessantly before the imagination. It thus holds a thousand conflicts with virtue which it conquers in the end; it installs itself in the bosom of the intelligence of which it becomes the habitual pre-occupation.” Seek therefore for only pure thoughts.We should at all times exert all the power within us to live correct and blameless lives in every respect, but particularly so in sexual matters. The happiness, the health, and the lives of families and communities are far more largely dependent upon these matters than is commonly supposed. Those whohave led lives of blameless purity, will continue to do so after reading this book; while those who have gone astray will here find every encouragement to set about their reformation at once. If faithful to the teachings recorded in these pages they will bless the day and the occasion that inspired the writer to put his hand to this work. The God of Heaven and Earth knows that the motive that led me to this undertaking was pure, and as solely for the good of humanity, as that purity which prompts a human being to live a blameless life in the sight of his Maker.CHAPTER X.ORIGIN OF THE SEX.From Whence does the Sex Proceed and What Determines It?Somuch has been written about this matter, and so many foolish, low, and really debasing theories and speculations have been advanced in relation thereto, that I deem it expedient at this time, and in this place, to put forth the true theory of the reproduction of the sexes, one that can endure the test of the most rigid scientific investigation. The only theory upon this subject worthy of notice, must be based upon a principle that will hold good and true throughout all animated nature, not only in the animal, but in the vegetable kingdom as well.The earth is the common mother of the vegetable world; seeds of all kinds fall into her and she brings forth male and female plants according to the seeds planted. Theearthcertainly does not give the sex to plants for they come forth according to the life inherent in the seed; if this life-force be male, the plant must be male; and if the life-forceof the seed be female, the product must be a female plant. The earth can possibly bring forth no other sex than that which the life-force of the seed impels.This is true in the animal creation. Within the female grows the seed given her by the male, be it male or female, and she can grow none other. In other words the male as is very evident on mature reflection gives the soul or the inmost vital principle, and the female clothes that soul, or gives it a body in which to operate. What else can the male do; what office does he perform, if it is not strictly this: to impart of his life-giving spirit! The mother in clothing this germ of life commingles, intertwines, and insinuates her own spirit, at the same time educating, instructing, and determining its development according to the influence she imparts to it. So the offspring partakes largely of the nature of both its parents. The determination as to whether he begets a male or female depends entirely upon the inmost vital state of the male at the time of giving, although he is unconscious of the fact, so that he can have no choice and no regulation, as some writers most absurdly claim, in the matter of the forth-coming sex. He determines or produces it unconsciously and involuntarily, themother simply receiving, clothing, and issuing from her body what the father has given her.It must not be forgotten when exploring these deep subjects that man is a spiritual being, clothed with a material body, that his spirit is his inmost, and that what proceeds from him in the generative act has life from his inmost; consequently the life-giving principle of his semen is from his inmost, which constitutes its life-giving power. This inmost from the male, the begetting power, is clothed by his seminal fluid for an All-wise purpose; it is not the gross material, the clothing, that begets, but the living power which this material contains, which fructifies, or becomes conjoined, or commingled with the vital force of the ovule of the mother,[K]so that she can clothe it; and when so conjoined the germ, or seed, is planted in congenial soil. Conception has thus really taken place by virtue of this act, and the animal mother proceeds with her reproduction precisely upon the same general principles that mother earth reproduces corn from a single kernel.It is universally acknowledged that the Lord creates, that we owe all to Him, that He gives us our children, etc., etc. This is true,and it is also true that He makes use of the parents, through whom he operates to this end. By the constant influx of his Divine Love and Wisdom He gives us life, and by virtue of this constant influx into the father who begets, the mother's conception becomes doubly sacred. She conceives from her husband, and at the same instant the Lord by virtue of His Divine Power breathes into that conception the breath of life, whereby it becomes a living soul. By the light of this truth we see that it is not the parents who give life to their offspring. They only supply the pure material substances which are organized into the human form by the living and life-giving forces which constantly flow in from the Lord who is life itself and from whom all life constantly emanates.INDEX.“Abuse,” self, definition of,60Adolescence of the female,68Adolescencecharacteristics of, in females,68Adolescencetime of, in females,27Adolescenceof the male,42Adolescencepride of in the male,51Adolescenceof male, changes observable,42,43Adolescencetime of, in the male,27Amorous, females not naturally,78,103Applications, in worm affections,33Ascarides,33Bannisters, injurious to slide down,29Chastity, what is true,36Chastity,difficulty of maintaining,53,64Chastity,needful in both sexes,63Chastity,difficulty of regaining,56Chastity,should be maintained,55Child-bearing, the question of,104Child-bearing,prevention of,104Childhood,27Children, let them romp, play, &c.,39Children,sleep of,40Children,weight of at birth,21Coffee, use of by children,36Conception,15Continence not hurtful,54,55Continencephysiologically considered,57,64Diapersfor children, choice of,25Diet of the mother, during gestation,98Embryo, earliest stage of,15Evil, first step of,45,61Fathers, injurious actions of,25Females, self-abuse in,76,82Females,dangers and temptations of,81Females,from fourteen to eighteen years,77,69Females,naturally not amorous,78,103Feminine charms, to preserve,75Fœtal development, recapitulation of,21,22Genitalorgans, care of in infancy,24Genitalorgans,uses of,52,59HealthLift beneficial,99Hope for the fallen,110Husband, adviceto,87Husband,not to find fault,108Husband,represents “The Truth,”101Incontinent, trials of the,56Infant, the,24Insane asylums, who are there,50Introductory chapter,13Licentiousness, perception of by the female,63Life, all, comes from theLord,120Lord, the, alone creates,119Marriage;act, the,79,80Marriage;the husband,84Marriage;the wife,90Marriage;conduct of a man before and after,87,88Marriage;the duties of,94Marriage;true meaning of the word,91Marriage;vow, the,92Married life, how to begin,85Married life,true love in,106Marry, men should,84Marry,why do girls,90,91Masturbation, symptoms of,34,60Masturbation,taught in schools, at home, &c.,34Mechanical means, in worm affections,33Menstruation; and care during,70,73Menstruation;not an inconvenience,71Mind, strength of, needful in reformation,110Nurses, vicious practices of,25Opiatesshould be avoided,24Origin of the Sex,117Penis, secretions forming on,30,31Pin worms,33Pollutions, nightly, causes of,65Pollutions,produced by drugs,66Poor houses, who the inmates are,50Preface,9Pregnancy, beginning of,15Pregnancy,fifth week of,16Pregnancy,seventh weekof,16Pregnancy,two months of,17Pregnancy,ten weeks of,17Pregnancy,third month of,18Pregnancy,fourth month of,19Pregnancy,fifth month of,19Pregnancy,sixth month of,19Pregnancy,seventh month of,20Pregnancy,eighth month of,20Pregnancy,ninth month of,21Prepuce, long,31Prevention of child bearing,104Preventives to conception,96Priapism, in boys,30Prisons, who the inmates are,50Pure thoughts, necessity for,59,115Purgatives in worm affections,33Queen Victoria, in child bearing,105Queen Victoria,a Royal mother,105Self-Abuse, to overcome,113Seminal fluid,65Sex, man powerless to regulate,118Sex,origin of the,117Sexual act, the, in marriage,92,94,102Sexualact, the frequency of, in marriage,104Sexualdisorders come from within,32Sexualimpressions on children, causes producing,29Sexualimpressions should never affect a child,27Sexualinstinct too strong,112Sexualintercourse, illicit, dangers of,46,47Sexualintercourse, illicit, should not be recommended by a physician,55,57Sexualmatters, use of good information on,34Sexualorgans, earliest discernment of,18Sexualorgans, needless laving, handling, &c.,31Sexualprecocity in children,28Sexualprecocity in children, case illustrating,28Sexualtemptations, toconquer,56,59,62,63Sexualthoughts, influence of,46,53Soothing syrups, avoidance of,24Spermatorrhœa, causes of,65Spermatorrhœa,caused by drugs,66Syphilis,47,48Syphilis,mental effects of,49Syphilitic poisoning,114Syringes,73,75Syrups, soothing, avoidance of,34Tea, use of, by children,36Tobacco, use of, by children,36Unfortunate, to the,110Urinate, inability to, in the morning,32Vaginalinjections,73Vermifuges, in worm affections,33Washings, uselessness of,38,39Weight of children at birth,21“Wet dreams,” causes of,65Wife, choice of,85Wife,represents “The Good,”101Wife,should allow the sexual act,92,94,95Wife,to be considerate,107Will power, man should be governed by the,43Wine, use of by children,36Worms,33Worms,are of constitutional origin,33
CHAPTER VIII.Marriage [concluded].Husband and Wife.
Topreserve the marriage vow inviolate, the same pure love that brought the two together should be cultivated by home uses and home amusements such as readings, games, conversation, etc. If the wife have needle work, let the husband read or talk to her; if he be a literary man, let her presence cheer him on and inspire him to nobler and more refined productions. What was done during courtship that made time pass so rapidly and so pleasantly? Was every topic so discussed and used up that nothing is now left for an exchange of views? Is carnal pleasure to be the only binding tie? Such a life is not very pure and only a poor use can be made of it. Topics of interest to a married pair should be innumerable and their pleasures inexhaustible. Home is the soil in which the tree is to grow; and the richer the soil, the better for the tree, and the more numerous will be the branches, all of them vigorously developing buds and leaves,blossoms and fruit, which will be most fragrant, beautiful and useful. When amusement outside of home is sought let it be, as far as possible, of a nature that both may enjoy it equally.
Husband and Wife! He, being of larger mould in every particular, in head, chest, and all the vital organs, is the provider, the protector, the guardian of his home; he, the masculine, or representative of the Truth, is to lead the way in conducting home or business affairs. She, the feminine, or representative of the Good, inclines to the good way continually; and, as married partners, Good and Truth should be married in them. There cannot be a true evil way nor a good false way; there can only be a true good way and a good true way. So the wife, the good, must conjoin herself to her husband, the truth, in order that every truth may result in good; and the husband, the truth, should seek to be conjoined to the wife, the good, that every good may become true. In this there is much wisdom: if the husband be truly wise he will always be sure that all his projects are tempered with good; while if the wife be truly good, all her doings will be enlightened by truth. As hand in hand they thus go through life's planning and doing, the husband willalways be assisted by his good, the wife; and the wife will be led on in good by her truth, the husband. By taking this high and holy ground, there will be experienced pleasure and happiness by the married couple, far transcending all other modes of life in existence. Then will each and every organ in the body be seen to have a fitness, a place, and a use which could not possibly be dispensed with, because, each and all these organs have an originating cause in the mental and spiritual parts of mankind, from which they proceed and from which they exist. Thus we see how wrong, how frightfully wrong it is to abuse, or pervert the use of,anyof these physical organs which are so sacred and so important to the welfare of the human family. “Dishonor the body, the temple of the soul, and you dishonor the soul.” “If any man defile the temple of God, him will God destroy.”—I. Cor. 3:17.
When married, the battle for one united and harmonious life really begins. The wife's great and supreme love for her husband personally, will allow many privileges which under other circumstances her timidity and chastity would refuse. Tenderly and with great consideration should these privileges be accepted. For, contrary to the opinion ofmany men, there is no sexual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to grant such liberties. Then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions! Sometimes such a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover from it for years; and in consequence of this shock, rudely or thoughtlessly administered, she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life. These sexual unions serve to bring the married pair into a perfectly harmonious relation to each other. And just as tenderly, lovingly and harmoniously should they join in each and all the daily uses of life which they are called upon to perform. The sexual relation is among the most important uses of married life; it vivifies the affections for each other, as nothing else in this world can, and is a powerful reminder of their mutual obligations to one another and to the community in which they live. Indulgence, however, should not be too frequent, lest it debilitate the pair and undermine their health. The bridegroom and husband should carefully watch over his bride and wife to see that she is not a sufferer and should govern himself accordingly. It is better that these renewedobligations should be made at stated periods, as man is governed so much by habit. As a rule, once or twice a week, or in some cases once in two weeks, is sufficient; but once a week will suffice in many cases for healthful purposes. During the menstrual flow there should be an entire cessation of the conjugal act. When pregnancy occurs it is in most cases, more healthful and better for the expectant mother to allow intercourse at regular times, very gently, throughout her gestation.
The object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the two together and binds them together, in the procreation and rearing of children for Heaven. This is the only true aim and sole object about which every earthly desire, interest and plan of the married pair should cluster.
As to the question of child-bearing.No greater crime in the sight of Heaven exists to-day than that of perverting the natural uses of marriage. This is done in a great variety of ways, every one of which is criminal, in whatever form practised; and none will escape the penalty—no, not one. Nature's laws are inexorable; every transgression thereof is surely punished, even at theclimacteric period, if not before. The questions of failing health, of physical inability, ortoo frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation, advice and decision of an experienced, judicious and upright physician. They should never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves. And to the objection “can't afford to have children; they cost too much,” I have faith enough to reply, “Our Heavenly Father never sends more mouths than he can feed.” Let each one do his and her duty in life and this cavil falls to the ground like water—which, when spilled, cannot be gathered up.
Good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children. How often is Queen Victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this respect: she accepted and acknowledged Prince Albert as her husband and gave herself to him as his wife; and so indeed she was in every sense of the term. Although a Queen, sitting on the pinnacle of power, she did not seek to avoid the pangs, the dangers or inconveniences of child-bearing. By her own personal strength her twelve children were brought forth and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the suffering. She nursed, caressed and loved them like a good mother and she was aroyal mother! Other kings and queenshave done likewise; other husbands and wives, high in power, wealth and fashion have done and are still doing the same. And how much the less should we, in the humbler walks of life, obey the Divine command “Be fruitful and multiply.”
If a husband truly loves his wife and if she truly loves him, they will live for each other and in each other, and they will be one; and they will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation. To apply to life the truths advanced above and to realize them, will require great effort by the parties in question. This manner of life will not come of itself; it is too good to come without working for. Mutual concessions must be made daily, and several times a day; one's own way must frequently be given up, and always when discovered to be a selfish way, because the mutual good is always to be consulted. Questions of importance should be discussed freely and dispassionately, and a good reason be established before adopting actions that may not lead to proper results. In the marriage co-partnership the interest in the right and the wrong, the loss and the gain, the lights and the shadows, the pleasures and the pains, should be equally shared; because they concern one just asmuch as the other, and should be equally enjoyed, and equally borne by both.
A start is made with loving hearts and this state of affairs must never be allowed to diminish. The husband should ever be glad to see his wife, and the wife should ever be glad to see her husband. How many husbands never know what reception they will meet with on returning home after their anxious and exhausting business hours are over for the day; it may be a happy or a very unhappy one. How much it consoles, encourages, lifts up, and rests a man to return to his home after the trying scenes of a day busily spent in providing for the support of his family are over, to find his wife affectionate and serene, and all about the house brilliant with contentment. Such a wife if she has troubles, and of course she has just as many troubles as the husband, though of a different kind, and wishes to call the attention of her husband to them, will do it at a proper time, when she knows it will annoy him the least, and when he will be able to give her the most assistance. She will never try to annoy him; but endeavoring to be a true help-meet will seek in a proper and loving way to get him to be the same to her. The wife will gain and command the respect of herhusband only through kind and loving ways. By her love constantly and judiciously administered she will lead him onward and upward to higher aspirations and better circumstances in life, throughout their days of united existence. A scolding, fretting, worrying and selfish wife has ruined for life many a husband.
All the “self-denial” however, as it is called by some, is not on the wife's side; the husband too must be forbearing; he must remember on his way home at night that his faithful wife, who has been at home all day, has had trials and disappointments in her domestic affairs; and he must not be disappointed to find domestic arrangements a little disordered, and his wife somewhat chagrined that, under the circumstances, she really could give him no better a reception than he may experience. He must always try to make the best of it and be satisfied. He must not find fault with the cooking, for instance, but must be perfectly content with everything as it is until his well-managing wife has had time to overcome her difficulties and troubles.
Never find fault with your wife under any circumstances; let your intellect discover a way to better things if need be. A really wise man will never allow a harsh word to escapehis lips to a loving wife, or to his harmless children. By so living together a wise husband and a loving wife will soon discover that they two are but complemental to each other—like the Will and Understanding of one individual.
CHAPTER IX.TO THE UNFORTUNATE.
Letno one imagine that, because he or she has committed any of the great errors enumerated in former chapters, there is no hopeful future. Such a conclusion need not, necessarily, be accepted. In very many cases where there is awillto reform, there is also away; and very often a complete cure and restoration to health may be effected. Diseased bones may be made sound; ulcerations healed; sore throats cured; blemishes on the skin removed; urinary difficulties may be dissipated or at least greatly ameliorated; sexual disorders remedied; impaired eyes much improved and defective vision much benefited if not wholly restored; the auditory apparatus helped if not fully cured; and the distracted mind, with its fanciful imageries, rendered tranquil and rational.
To accomplish all this themindmust lead the way. The brain must assert its supremacy, and the will-power become absolute. It is only where there is a will, an indomitable will, that a way out of these direful difficultiesis afforded. Let happen what may, no opposing influences should dampen the determination to press forward to reformation; and then, sooner or later, the conquest will be made.
To begin with, when the mind is fully determined to overcome all obstacles or perish in the attempt, consult a judicious physician as advised in the preface of this book. Lose no time with quackery in any shape or form. Do not be beguiled by those who promise “a speedy cure.” Speedy cures cannot be made in these cases. Strong determination to improve aided by proper medication can, in bad cases, only restore a healthful condition in from two to three years. The system requires to be made over anew as it were. The current of life must be turned into new channels. New thoughts and new blood must be made to take the place of what were wrong and polluted. This will take time and perseverance; and then, little by little the old enemies will be overcome and driven out. But progress for the better must be measured only from month to month and even then there may be apparent relapses. Let me however asseverate, from my abundance of experience in these cases, that there is ultimately, after a reasonable time, everyhope of becoming sound and healthy again.
Many young persons are rendered quite distracted by the sexual instinct being too strong. It infests them and goads them on to the commission of further unseemly acts—though suffering much from past transgressions—which it seems almost impossible to avoid. The sensation haunts and clings to them day and night, in spite of every attempt to rise superior thereto. Sometimes nocturnal pollutions, or “wet dreams,” as they are commonly termed, result from these or other causes. There must be some cause for this state of things and a rigid examination into one's mode of life should ascertain the same. It may come from errors in diet, in eating or drinking; in the use of highly seasoned food; or the taking of some medicinal drug substance. It is well known that many drugs have the power of producing such a condition. Should any of the above seem to act as causes, a change should be made at once. The plainest diet and simplest mode of life is always best in sickness or in health. Again, one may take too little exercise in the open air. If so, an abundance of physical exertion should be made daily, to insure a natural and healthy condition of all organs of the body. Or, uncomfortable conditions may arise, as they oftendo, from some morbid condition of the vital forces. If diet and exercise are insufficient, the judicious physician should be consulted and every symptom or unnatural sensation from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet, should be carefully described to him. In all probability he will remedy the trouble, thus restoring peace and happiness. The generative organs are as liable to be affected by a morbid state of the vital forces, as are any other organs of the body; and when so affected they are just as amenable to treatment.
The above condition of affairs is not, however, confined to the male sex. Females often suffer equally and in the same way. Many young persons, of both sexes, have fallen victims to these disorders who could have been cured by proper medical treatment. A female suffering from the ill effects of any bad habit contracted in youth, or from any sexual or venereal disorder, should seek medical aid with the same promptness and openness of heart as a male. To overcome the vicious habit of self-abuse is no trifling matter; it will require the persistent application of indomitable will, aided by Christianity—by oft repeated appeals to the Lord for aid, who lends a willing ear anda helping hand to the poor and needy. When reformation is determined upon, it is better to consult a physician at once and act under his advice. Besides directing the proper diet and plenty of vigorous exercise in the open air, he will prescribe the proper medicament.
Cases of real syphilitic poisoning are most serious affections, and everyone should know of the fearful effects of this poison—how searchingly it infests the whole system, and how it contaminates the blood and every tissue in the body. Such cases, therefore, should not be trifled with in any way. Advertised nostrums should be particularly avoided. For, if this poison be simply smothered in one's blood instead of being wholly eradicated and cured, it will be sure to seize upon the offspring and either destroy them before birth or during dentition. The bare fear of such contamination should be amply sufficient to deter everyone from exposinghim- or herselfto the risk. But, having fallen, by all means seek the aid of a judicious physician. An experience of nearly forty years in the treatment of these cases, in both sexes, has given me the power to know whereof I speak; and I do declare that a very large percentage of these cases can becured in a safe manner; and so perfectly cured too, that there will be no danger of transmitting the infection to the offspring. I, by no means stand alone in this statement; many other physicians, after long years of experience assert the same truth.
Therefore, let no one be discouraged, no matter how far he, or she, has strayed from the paths of virtue or how much suffering has been entailed thereby. In connection with the physician's help, aid yourself. Have courage! Let the invincible will lead on unflinchingly—upheld by pure thoughts, and good actions will surely follow. “Desire is really dangerous only when it brings voluptuous pictures incessantly before the imagination. It thus holds a thousand conflicts with virtue which it conquers in the end; it installs itself in the bosom of the intelligence of which it becomes the habitual pre-occupation.” Seek therefore for only pure thoughts.
We should at all times exert all the power within us to live correct and blameless lives in every respect, but particularly so in sexual matters. The happiness, the health, and the lives of families and communities are far more largely dependent upon these matters than is commonly supposed. Those whohave led lives of blameless purity, will continue to do so after reading this book; while those who have gone astray will here find every encouragement to set about their reformation at once. If faithful to the teachings recorded in these pages they will bless the day and the occasion that inspired the writer to put his hand to this work. The God of Heaven and Earth knows that the motive that led me to this undertaking was pure, and as solely for the good of humanity, as that purity which prompts a human being to live a blameless life in the sight of his Maker.
CHAPTER X.ORIGIN OF THE SEX.From Whence does the Sex Proceed and What Determines It?
Somuch has been written about this matter, and so many foolish, low, and really debasing theories and speculations have been advanced in relation thereto, that I deem it expedient at this time, and in this place, to put forth the true theory of the reproduction of the sexes, one that can endure the test of the most rigid scientific investigation. The only theory upon this subject worthy of notice, must be based upon a principle that will hold good and true throughout all animated nature, not only in the animal, but in the vegetable kingdom as well.
The earth is the common mother of the vegetable world; seeds of all kinds fall into her and she brings forth male and female plants according to the seeds planted. Theearthcertainly does not give the sex to plants for they come forth according to the life inherent in the seed; if this life-force be male, the plant must be male; and if the life-forceof the seed be female, the product must be a female plant. The earth can possibly bring forth no other sex than that which the life-force of the seed impels.
This is true in the animal creation. Within the female grows the seed given her by the male, be it male or female, and she can grow none other. In other words the male as is very evident on mature reflection gives the soul or the inmost vital principle, and the female clothes that soul, or gives it a body in which to operate. What else can the male do; what office does he perform, if it is not strictly this: to impart of his life-giving spirit! The mother in clothing this germ of life commingles, intertwines, and insinuates her own spirit, at the same time educating, instructing, and determining its development according to the influence she imparts to it. So the offspring partakes largely of the nature of both its parents. The determination as to whether he begets a male or female depends entirely upon the inmost vital state of the male at the time of giving, although he is unconscious of the fact, so that he can have no choice and no regulation, as some writers most absurdly claim, in the matter of the forth-coming sex. He determines or produces it unconsciously and involuntarily, themother simply receiving, clothing, and issuing from her body what the father has given her.
It must not be forgotten when exploring these deep subjects that man is a spiritual being, clothed with a material body, that his spirit is his inmost, and that what proceeds from him in the generative act has life from his inmost; consequently the life-giving principle of his semen is from his inmost, which constitutes its life-giving power. This inmost from the male, the begetting power, is clothed by his seminal fluid for an All-wise purpose; it is not the gross material, the clothing, that begets, but the living power which this material contains, which fructifies, or becomes conjoined, or commingled with the vital force of the ovule of the mother,[K]so that she can clothe it; and when so conjoined the germ, or seed, is planted in congenial soil. Conception has thus really taken place by virtue of this act, and the animal mother proceeds with her reproduction precisely upon the same general principles that mother earth reproduces corn from a single kernel.
It is universally acknowledged that the Lord creates, that we owe all to Him, that He gives us our children, etc., etc. This is true,and it is also true that He makes use of the parents, through whom he operates to this end. By the constant influx of his Divine Love and Wisdom He gives us life, and by virtue of this constant influx into the father who begets, the mother's conception becomes doubly sacred. She conceives from her husband, and at the same instant the Lord by virtue of His Divine Power breathes into that conception the breath of life, whereby it becomes a living soul. By the light of this truth we see that it is not the parents who give life to their offspring. They only supply the pure material substances which are organized into the human form by the living and life-giving forces which constantly flow in from the Lord who is life itself and from whom all life constantly emanates.
INDEX.