EnterCamilloandIsabella.
Isab.'Tisan unlucky accident indeed.
Cam.AhIsabella! Fate has now determin'd my undoing. This thing can ne'er end here,LeonoraandLorenzomust soon come to some explanation;the dispute is too monstrous to pass over, without further enquiry, which must discover all, and what will be the consequence, I tremble at: for whether DonAlvarezknows of the imposture, or whether he is deceiv'd, with the rest of the world, when once it breaks out, and the consequence is the loss of that great wealth he now enjoys by it, what must become of me? All paternal affections then must cease, and regarding me as an unhappy instrument in the trouble which will then o'erload him, he will return me to my humble birth, and then I'm lost for ever. For what, alas! will the deceiv'dLorenzosay? A wife with neither fortune, birth, nor beauty, instead of one most plenteously endow'd with all. O heavens! what a sea of misery I have before me!
Isab.Indeed you reason right, but these reflections are ill-tim'd; why did you not employ them sooner?
Cam.Because I lov'd.
Isab.And don't you do so now?
Cam.I do, and therefore 'tis I make these cruel just reflections.
Isab.So that love, I find, can do any thing.
Cam.Indeed it can: its powers are wondrous great, its pains no tongue can tell, its bliss no heart conceive, crowns cannot recompense its torments, heaven scarce supplies its joys. My stake is of this value: oh counsel me how I shall save it.
Isab.Alas! that counsel's much beyond my wisdom's force, I see no way to help you.
Cam.And yet 'tis sure there's one.
Isab.What?
Cam.Death.
Isab.There possibly may be another; I have thought this moment——perhaps there's nothing in it; yet a small passage comes to my remembrance, that I regarded little when it happen'd——I'll go and search for one may be of service. But hold; I see DonCarlos: he'll but disturb us now, let us avoid him.
[ExeuntCamilloandIsabella.
Enter DonCarlosandSancho.
Car.Repuls'd again! this is not to be borne. What tho' this villain's story be a falshood, was I to blame to hearken to it? This usage cannot be supported: how was it she treated thee?
San.Never was ambassador worse receiv'd. Madam, my master asks ten thousand pardons, and humbly begs one moment's interview:——Begone, you rascal you. Madam, what answer shall I give my Master?——Tell him he's a villain. Indeed, fair lady, I think this is hasty treatment—Here, my footmen, toss me this fellow out at the window; and away she went to her devotions.
Car.Did you seeJacinta?
San.Yes; she saluted me with half a score rogues and rascals too. I think our destinies are much alike, Sir; and o'my conscience, a couple of scurvy jades we are hamper'd with.
Car.Ungrateful woman, to receive with such contempt so quick a return of a heart so justly alarm'd.
San.Ha, ha, ha.
Car.What, no allowance to be made to the first transports of a lover's fury, when rous'd by so dreadful an appearance? as just as my suspicions were, have I long suffer'd them to arraign her?
San.No.
Car.Have I waited for oaths or imprecations to clear her?
San.No.
Car.Nay, even now is not the whole world still in suspense about her? whilst I alone conclude her innocent.
San.'Tis very true.
Car.She might, methinks, thro' this profound respect, observe a flame another would have cherish'd: she might support me against groundless fears, and save me from a rival's tyranny; she might release me from these cruel racks, and would, no doubt, if she cou'd love as I do.
San.Ha, ha, ha.
Car.But since she don't, what do I whining here? Curse on the base humilities of love.
San.Right.
Car.Let children kiss the rod that fleas them, let dogs lie down and lick the shoe that spurns them.
San.Ay.
Car.I am a man by nature meant for power; the scepter's given us to wield, and we betray our trust whenever we meanly lay it at a woman's feet.
San.True, we are men, boo——Come, Master, let us both be in a passion; here's my scepter, [Shewing a cudgel.] SubjectJacinta, look about you. Sir, was you ever inMuscovy? the women there love the men dearly; why? because——[Shaking his stick.] there's your love-powder for you. Ah, Sir, were we but wise and stout, what work should we make with them! But this humble love-making, spoils them all. A rare way indeed to bring matters about with them; we are persuading them all day they are angels and Goddesses, in order to use them at night like human creatures; we are like to succeed truly.
Car.For my part I never yet could bear a slight from any thing, nor will I now. There's but one way however to resent it from a woman: and that's to drive her bravely from your heart, and place a worthier in her vacant throne.
San.Now, with submission to my betters, I have another way, Sir, I'll drive my tyrant from my heart, and place myself in her throne. Yes; I will be lord of my own tenement, and keep my household in order. Wou'd you wou'd do so too, Master; for look you, I have been servitor in a college atSalamanca, and read philosophy with the doctors; where I found that a woman, in all times, has been observed to be an animal hard to understand, and much inclined to mischief. Now as an animal is always an animal, and a captain always a captain, so a woman is always a woman: whence it is, that a certainGreeksays, her head is like a bank of sand; or, as another, a solid rock; or, according to a third, a dark lanthorn. Pray, Sir, observe, for this is close reasoning; and so as the head is the head of the body; and that the body without a head,is like a head without a tail; and that where there is neither head nor tail, 'tis a very strange body: so I say a woman is by comparison, do you see, (for nothing explains things like comparisons) I say by comparison, asAristotlehas often said before me, one may compare her to the raging sea; for as the sea, when the wind rises, knits its brows like an angry bull, and that waves mount upon rocks, and rocks mount upon waves: that porpusses leap like trouts, and whales skip about like gudgeons; that ships roll like beer-barrels, and mariners pray like saints; just so, I say a woman——A woman, I say, just so, when her reason is ship-wreck'd upon her passion, and the hulk of her understanding lies thumping against the rock of her fury; then it is, I say, that by certain immotions, which——um cause, as one may suppose, a sort of convulsive——yes——hurricanious——um——like——in short, a woman is like the Devil.
Car.Admirably reason'd indeed,Sancho.
San.Pretty well, I thank Heaven; but here come the crocodiles to weep us into mercy.
EnterLeonoraandJacinta.
Master, let us shew ourselves men, and leave their briny tears to wash their dirty faces.
Car.It is not in the power of charms to move me.
San.Nor me, I hope; and yet I fear those eyes will look out sharp to snatch up such a prize.
[Pointing toJacinta.
Jacin.He's coming to us, Madam, to beg pardon; but sure you'll never grant it him?
Leo.If I do may heaven never grant me mine.
Jacin.That's brave.
Car.You look, Madam, upon me, as if you thought I came to trouble you with my usual importunities; I'll ease you of that pain, by telling you my business now is calmly to assure you, but I assure it you with Heaven and hell for seconds; for may the joys of one fly from me, whilst the pains of t'other overtake me, if all yourcharms display'd e'er shake my resolution; I'll never see you more.
San.Bon.
Leo.You are a man of that nice honour, Sir, I know you'll keep your word: I expected this assurance from you, and came this way only to thank you for't.
Jacin.Very well.
Car.You did, imperious dame, you did: how base is woman's pride! How wretched are the ingredients it is form'd of! If you saw cause for just disdain, why did you not at first repulse me? Why lead a slave in chains, that could not grace your triumphs? If I am thus to be contemn'd, think on the favours you have done the wretch, and hide your face for ever.
San.Well argued.
Leo.I own you have hit the only fault the world can charge me with: the favours I have done to you, I am indeed asham'd of; but since women have their frailties, you'll allow me mine.
Car.'Tis well, extremely well, Madam. I'm happy however, you at last speak frankly. I thank you for it: from my soul I thank you: but don't expect me groveling at your feet again; don't, for if I do——
Leo.You will be treated as you deserve; trod upon.
Car.Give me patience;——but I don't want it; I am calm: Madam, farewel;——be happy if you can; by heavens I wish you so, but never spread your net for me again; for if you do——
Leo.You'll be running into it.
Car.Rather run headlong into fire and flames; rather be torn with pincers bit from bit; rather be broil'd like martyrs upon gridirons——But I am wrong; this sounds like passion, and heaven can tell I am not angry: Madam, I think we have no farther business together; your most humble servant.
Leo.Farewel t'ye, Sir.
Car.Come along.
[ToSancho.
[Goes to the scene and returns.
Yet once more before I go (lest you should doubt my resolution) may I starve, perish, rot, be blasted, dead,damn'd, or any other thing that men or gods can think of, if on any occasion whatever, civil or military, pleasure or business, love or hate, or any other accident of life, I, from this moment, change one word or look with you.
[Going off,Sanchoclaps him on the back.
Leo.Content: come away,Jacinta.
Carlosreturns.
Car.Yet one word, Madam, if you please; I have a little thing here belongs to you, a foolish bawble I once was fond of. [Twitching her picture from his breast.] Will you accept a trifle from your servant?
Leo.Willingly, Sir; I have a bawble too I think you have some claim to; you'll wear it for my sake.
[Breaks a bracelet from her arm, and gives it him.
Car.Most thankfully; this too I shou'd restore you, it once was yours——[Giving her a table-book.] By your favour madam——there is a line or two in it, I think you did me once the honour to write with your own fair hand. Here it is.
[Reads.
You love me,Carlos, and would knowThe secret movements of my heart:Whether I give you mine or no,With yours, methinks, I'd never, never part.
You love me,Carlos, and would knowThe secret movements of my heart:Whether I give you mine or no,With yours, methinks, I'd never, never part.
Thus you have encouraged me, and thus you have deceived me.
San.Very true.
Leo.I have some faithful lines too; I think I can produce 'em,
[Pulls out a table-book; reads, and then gives it him.
How long soe'er, to sigh in vain,My destiny may prove,My fate (in spite of your disdain)Will let me glory in your chain,And give me leave eternally to love.
How long soe'er, to sigh in vain,My destiny may prove,My fate (in spite of your disdain)Will let me glory in your chain,And give me leave eternally to love.
There, Sir, take your poetry again.
[Throwing it at his feet.
'Tis not much the worse for my wearing: 'twill serve again upon a fresh occasion.
Jacin.Well done.
Car.I believe I can return the present, Madam, with——a pocket full of your prose——There——
[Throwing a handful of letters at her feet.
Leo.Jacinta, give me his letters. There, Sir, not to be behind-hand with you.
[Takes a handful of his letters out of a box, and throws them in his face.
Jacin.And there, and there, and there, Sir.
[Jacintathrows the rest at him.
San.'Cods my life, we want ammunition: but for a shift——There, and there, you saucy slut you.
[Sanchopulls a pack of dirty cards out of his pocket, and throws 'em at her; then they close; he pulls off her headclothes, and she his wig, and then part, she running to her mistress, he to his master.
Jacin.I think, Madam, we have clearly the better on't.
Leo.For a proof, I resolve to keep the field.
Jacin.Have a care he don't rally and beat you yet though: pray walk off.
Leo.Fear nothing.
San.How the armies stand and gaze at one another after the battle! What think you, Sir, of shewing yourself a great general, by making an honourable retreat?
Car.I scorn it: OhLeonora!Leonora! A heart like mine should not be treated thus.
Leo.Carlos!Carlos! I have not deserv'd this usage.
Car.BarbarousLeonora! but 'tis useless to reproach you; she that is capable of what you have done, is form'd too cruel ever to repent of it. Go on then, tyrant; make your bliss compleat; torment me still, for still, alas! I love enough to be tormented.
Leo.AhCarlos! little do you know the tender movements of that thing you name: the heart where love presides, admits no thoughts against the honour of its ruler.
Car.'Tis not to call that honour into doubt, if conscious of our own unworthiness, we interpret every frown to our destruction.
Leo.When jealousy proceeds from such humble apprehensions, it shews itself with more respect than yours has done.
Car.And where a heart is guiltless, it easily forgives a greater crime.
Leo.Forgiveness is not now in our debate; if both have been in fault, 'tis fit that both should suffer for it; our separation will do justice on us.
Car.But since we are ourselves the judges of our crimes, what if we should inflict a gentler punishment?
Leo.'Twould but encourage us to sin again.
Car.And if it shou'd?
Leo.'Twould give a fresh occasion for the pleasing exercise of mercy.
Car.Right: and so we act the part of earth and heaven together, of men and gods, and taste of both their pleasures.
Leo.The banquet's too inviting to refuse it.
Car.Then thus let's fall on, and feed upon't for ever.
[Carries her off, embracing her, and kissing her hand.
Leo.Ah woman! foolish, foolish woman!
San.Very foolish indeed.
Jacin.But don't expect I'll follow her example.
San.You wou'd, Mopsy, if I'd let you.
Jacin.I'd sooner tear my eyes out! ah——that she had a little of my spirit in her.
San.I believe I shall find thou hast a great deal of her flesh, my charmer; but 'twon't do; I am all rock, hard rock, very marble.
Jacin.A very pumice stone, you rascal you, if one would try thee; but to prevent thy humilities, and shew thee all submission would be vain; to convince thee thou hast nothing but misery and despair before thee; here——take back thy paltry thimble, and be in my debt for the shirts I have made thee with it.
San.Nay, if y'are at that sport, Mistress, I believe Ishall lose nothing by the balance of thy presents. There, take thy tobacco-stopper, and stop thy——
Jacin.Here, take thy sattin pincushion, with thy curious half hundred of pins in't, thou mad'st such a vapouring about yesterday: tell them carefully, there's not one wanting.
San.There's thy ivory-hafted knife again, whet it well; 'tis so blunt 'twill cut nothing but love.
Jacin.And there's thy pretty pocket scissars thou hast honour'd me with, they'll cut off a leg or an arm; heaven bless them.
San.Here's the inchanted handkerchief you were pleased to indear with your precious blood, when the violence of your love at dinner, t'other day, made you cut your fingers——There.
[Blows his nose in it, and gives it her.
Jacin.The rascal so provokes me, I won't even keep his paltry garters from him. D'ye see these? You pitiful beggarly scoundrel you:——There, take 'em, there.
[She takes her garters off, and flaps them about his face.
San.I have but one thing more of thine. [Shewing his cudgel.] I own 'tis the top of all thy presents, and might be useful to me; but that thou may'st have nothing to upbraid me with, even take it again with the rest of them.
[Lifting it up to strike her, she leaps about his neck.
Jacin.Ah cruelSancho!—Now beat me,Sancho, do.
San.Rather, likeIndianbeggars, beat my precious self.
[Throws away his stick, and embraces her.
Rather let infants blood about the streets,Rather let all the wine about the cellar,Rather let——OhJacinta——thou hast o'ercome.How foolish are the great resolves of man!Resolves, which we neither wou'd keep, nor can.When those bright eyes in kindness please to shine,Their goodness I must needs return with mine:Bless myJacintain herSancho's arms——
Rather let infants blood about the streets,Rather let all the wine about the cellar,Rather let——OhJacinta——thou hast o'ercome.How foolish are the great resolves of man!Resolves, which we neither wou'd keep, nor can.When those bright eyes in kindness please to shine,Their goodness I must needs return with mine:Bless myJacintain herSancho's arms——
Jacin.And I mySanchowithJacinta's charms.
[Exeunt.