Chapter 13

"Dost thou card wool, and thus the lustre smirchOf thy illustrious sire, thy noble race?"

§xxxiv.But it is by no means fitting when rebuked to rebuke back, and when spoken to plainly to answer back, for that soon kindles a flame and causes dissension; and generally speaking such altercation will not look so much like a retort as an inability to bear freedom of speech. It is better therefore to listen patiently to a friend's rebuke, for if he should afterwards do wrong himself and so need rebuke, he has set you the example of freedom of speech. For being reminded without any malice, that he himself has not been accustomed to spare his friends when they have done wrong, but to convince them and show them their fault, he will be the more inclined to yield and give himself up to correction, as it will seem a return of goodwill and kindness rather than scolding or rage.

§xxxv.Moreover, as Thucydides says "he is well advised who [only] incurs envy in the most important matters,"486so the friend ought only to take upon himself the unpleasant duty of reproof in grave and momentous cases. For if he is always in a fret and a fume, and rates his acquaintances more like a tutor than a friend, his rebuke will be blunt and ineffective in cases of the highest importance, and he will resemble a doctor who dispenses some sharp and bitter, but important and costly, drug in trifling cases of common occurrence, where it was not at all needed, and so will lose all the advantages that might come from a judicious use of freedom of speech. He will therefore be very much on his guard against continual fault-finding, and if his friend is always pettifogging about minute matters, and is needlessly querulous, it will give him a handle against him in more important shortcomings. Philotimus the doctor, when a patient who had abscesses on his liver showed him his sore finger, said to him, "My friend, it is not the whitlow that matters."487So an opportunity sometimes offers itself to a friend to say to a man, who is always finding fault on small and trivial points, "Why are we always discussing mere child's play, tippling,488and trifles? Let such a one, my dear sir, send away his mistress, or give up playing at dice, he will then be in my opinion in all respects an excellent fellow." For he who receives pardon on small matters is content that his friend should rebuke him on matters of more moment: but the man who is ever on the scold, everywhere sour and glum, knowing and prying into everything, is scarcely tolerable to his children or brothers, and insufferable to his slaves.

§xxxvi.But since "neither," to use the words of Euripides, "do all troubles proceed only from old age,"489nor from the stupidity of our friends, we ought to observe not only the shortcomings but also the good points of our friends, aye, by Zeus, and to be ready to praise them first, and only censure them afterwards. For as iron receives its consistency and temper by first being submitted to fire and so made soft and then dipped into cold water, so when friends have been first warmed and melted with praises we can afterwards use gentle remonstrance, which has a similar effect to that of dipping in the case of the metal. For an opportunity will offer itself to say, "Are those actions worthy to be compared with these? Do you see what fruits virtue yields? These are the things we your friends ask of you, these become you, for these you are designed by nature; but all that other kind of conduct we must reject with abhorrence, 'cast it away on a mountain, or throw it into the roaring sea.'"490For as a clever doctor would prefer to cure the illness of his patient by sleep and diet rather than by castor or scammony, so a kind friend and good father or teacher delight to use praise rather than blame to correct the character. For nothing makes rebuke less painful or more beneficial than to refrain from anger, and to inveigh against wrong-doing mildly and kindly. And so we ought not sharply to drive home the guilt of those who deny it, or prevent their making their defence, but even contrive to furnish them with specious excuses, and if they seem reluctant to give a bad motive for their action we ought ourselves to find for them a better, as Hector did for his brother Paris,

"Unhappy man, thy anger was not good,"491

suggesting that his absconding from the battle was not running away or cowardice, but only anger. And Nestor says to Agamemnon,

"You only yielded to your lofty passion."492

For it has, I think, a better moral tendency to say "You forgot," or "You did it inadvertently," than to say "You acted unfairly," or "You behaved shamefully:" as also "Don't contend with your brother," than "Don't envy your brother;" and "Avoid the woman who is your ruin," than "Stop ruining the woman." Such is the language employed in rebuke that desires to reform and not to wound; that rebuke which looks merely at the effect to be produced acts on another principle. For when it is necessary to stop people on the verge of wrong-doing, or to check some violent and irregular impulse, or if we wish to rouse and infuse vigour in those who prosecute virtue only feebly and languidly, we may then assign strange and unbecoming motives for their behaviour. As Odysseus in Sophocles' play,493striving to rouse Achilles, says he is not angry about his supper,494but "that he is afraid now that he looks upon the walls of Troy," and when Achilles was vexed at this, and talked of sailing home again, he said,

"I know what 'tis you shun: 'tis not ill fame:But Hector's near, it is not safe to beard him."

Thus by frightening the high-spirited and courageous man by the imputation of cowardice, and the sober and orderly man by that of licentiousness, and the liberal and munificent man by that of meanness and avarice, people urge them on to what is good, and deter them from what is bad, showing moderation in cases past remedy, and exhibiting in their freedom of speech more sorrow and sympathy than fault-finding; but in the prevention of wrong-doing and in earnest fighting against the passions they are vehement and inexorable and assiduous: for that is the timefor downright plainness and truth. Besides we see that enemies censure one another for what they have done amiss, as Diogenes said,495he who wished to lead a good life ought to have good friends or red-hot enemies, for the former told you what was right, and the latter blamed you if you did what was wrong. But it is better to be on our guard against wrong actions, through listening to the persuasion of those that advise us well, than to repent, after we have done wrong, in consequence of the reproaches of our enemies. And so we ought to employ tact in our freedom of speech, as it is the greatest and most powerful remedy in friendship, and always needs a well-chosen occasion, and moderation in applying it.

§xxxvii.Since then, as I have said before, freedom of speech is often painful to the person who is to receive benefit from it, we must imitate the surgeons, who, when they have performed an operation, do not leave the suffering part to pain and smart, but bathe and foment it; so those who do their rebuking daintily run496off after paining and smarting, and by different dealing and kind words soothe and mollify them, as statuaries smooth and polish images which have been broken or chipped. But he that is broken and wounded by rebuke, if he is left sullen and swelling with rage and off his equilibrium, is henceforth hard to win back or talk over. And so people who reprove ought to be especially careful on this point, and not to leave them too soon, nor break off their conversation and intercourse with their acquaintances at the exasperating and painful stage.

348Plato, "Laws," v. p. 731 D, E.

349"Laws," v. p. 730 C.

350Inscribed in the vestibule of the temple of Apollo at Delphi. See Pausanias, x. 24.

351Used here apparently proverbially for poverty or low position in life.

352Wyttenbach well compares Cicero, "De Amicitia," xviii.: "Accedat huc suavitas quædam oportet sermonum atque morum, haudquaquam mediocre condimentum amicitiæ. Tristitia autem et in omni re severitas, habet illa quidem gravitatem: sed amicitia remissior esse debet, et liberior, et dulcior, et ad omnem comitatem facilitatemque proclivior."

353Hesiod, "Theogony," 64.

354Euripides, "Ion," 732.

355Our author assigns this saying to Prodicus, "De Sanitate Præcepta," § viii. But to Evenus, "Quæst. Conviv." Lib. vii. Proœmium, and "Platonicæ Quæstiones," x. § iii.

356As was usual. See Homer, "Odyssey," i. 146. Cf. Plautus, "Persa," v. iii. 16: "Hoc age, accumbe: hunc diem suavem meum natalem agitemus amœnum: date aquam manibus: apponite mensam."

357From a play of Eupolis called "The Flatterers." Cf. Terence, "Eunuchus," 489-491.

358See Athenæus, 256 D. Compare also Valerius Maximus, ix. 1.

359"Videatur Casaubonus ad Athenæum, vi. p. 243 A."—Wyttenbach.

360"Republic," p. 361 A.

361See Herodotus, iii. 78.

362See Erasmus, "Adagia," p. 1883.

363"Proverbium etiam a Cicerone laudatum 'De Amicitia,' cap. vi.: Itaque non aqua, non igne, ut aiunt, pluribus locis utimur, quam amicitia. Notavit etiam Erasmus 'Adag.' p. 112."—Wyttenbach.

364Compare Sallust, "De Catilinæ Conjuratione," cap. xx.: "Nam idem velle atque idem nolle, ea demum firma amicitia est."

365"Proverbiale, quo utitur Plutarchus in Alcibiade, p. 203 D. Iambus Tragici esse videtur, ad Neoptolemum dictus."—Wyttenbach.

366As the polypus, or chameleon.

367Plato, "Phædrus," p. 239 D.

368Wyttenbach compares Juvenal, iii. 100-108.

369See my note "On Abundance of Friends,"§ ix.Wyttenbach well points out the felicity of the expression here, "siquidem parasitus est άοικος καὶ ἀνέστιος."

370Euripides, "Hippolytus," 219, 218. Cf. Ovid, "Heroides," iv. 41, 42.

371Compare "How one may be aware of one's progress in virtue,"§ x.Cf. also Horace, "Satires," ii. iii. 35; Quintilian, xi. 1.

372"Odyssey," xxii. 1.

373The demagogue is a kind of flatterer. See Aristotle, "Pol." iv. 4.

374Cf. Aristophanes, "Acharnians," 153, ὅπερ μαχιμώτατον θρᾳκῶν ἔθνος.

375Plato was somewhat of a traveller, he three times visited Syracuse, and also travelled in Egypt.

376As to the polypus, see "On Abundance of Friends,"§ ix.

377As "Fumum et opesstrepitumqueRomæ."—Horace, "Odes," iii. 29. 12.

378Homer, "Odyssey," xvi. 181.

379Sophocles, "Antigone," 523.

380As to these traits in Plato and Aristotle, compare "De Audiendis Poetis," § viii. And as to Alexander, Plutarch tells us in his Life that he used to hold his head a little to the left, "Life," p. 666 B. See also "De Alexandri Fortuna aut Virtute," § ii.

381"De Chamæleonte Aristoteles 'Hist. Animal.' i. 11; 'Part. Animal.' iv. 11; Theophrastus Eclog. ap. Photium edit. Aristot. Sylburg. T. viii. p. 329: μεταβάλλει δὲ ὁ χαμαιλέων εἰς πάντα τὰ χρώματα· πλὴν τὴν εἰς τὸ λευκὸν και τὸ ἐρυθρὸν οὐ δέχεται μεταβολήν. Similiter Plinius 'Hist. Nat.' viii. 51."—Wyttenbach.

382See Athenæus, 249 F; 435 E.

383Cf. Juv. iii. 113; "Scire volunt secreta domus, atque inde timeri."

384Cf. Menander apud Stob. p. 437: Τὰ δεύτερ᾽ αἰεὶ τὴν γυναῖκα δεὶ λέγειν, Τὴν δ᾽ ἡγεμονιαν τῶν ὅλων τὸν ἄνδρ᾽ ἔχειν.

385As Lord Stowell used to say that "dinners lubricated business."

386Homer, "Iliad," xi. 643.

387Homer, "Odyssey," iv. 178, 179.

388Perhaps the poley-germander. See Pliny, "Nat. Hist," xxi. 84. The line is from Nicander Theriac. 64.

389"Iliad," viii. 281, 282.

390"Iliad," x. 243.

391"Iliad," vii. 109, 110.

392Xenophon, "Agesilaus," xi. 5. p. 673 C.

393To filch the grain from the bin or granary would not of course be so important a theft as to steal the seed-stock preserved for sowing. So probably Cato, "De Re Rustica," v. § iv.: "Segetem ne defrudet," sc. villicus.

394Thucydides, iii. 82.

395Plato, "Republic," v. p. 474 E. Compare also Lucretius, iv. 1160-1170; Horace, "Satires," i. 3. 38 sq.

396This Ptolemy was a votary of Cybele, and a spiritual ancestor of General Booth. The worship of Cybele is well described by Lucretius, ii. 598-643.

397This was Ptolemy Auletes, as the former was Ptolemy Philopator.

398See Suetonius, "Nero," ch. 21.

399"Plerumqueminuta voce cantillare."—Wyttenbach. What Milton would have called "a lean and flashy song."

400Naso suspendit adunco, as Horace, "Sat." i. 6. 5.

401See Athenæus, p. 434 C.

402As Gnatho in Terence, "Eunuch." 496-498.

403Reading ἑλών, as Courier, Hercher.

404"Iliad," x. 249. They are words of Odysseus.

405This was carrying flattery rather far. "Mithridatis medicinæ scientia multis memorata veterum."—Wyttenbach.

406Euripides, "Alcestis," 1159.

407Our author gives this definition to Simonides, "De Gloria Atheniensium," § iii.

408So our author again, "On Contentedness of Mind,"§ xii.

409See Herodotus, i. 30, 33; Juvenal, x. 274, 275; and Pausanias, ii. 20.

410"Nobile Stoæ Paradoxum. Cicero Fin. iii. 22, ex persona Catonis. Horatius ridet Epistol. i. 1. 106-108. Ad summam sapiens uno minor est Jove: dives, Liber, honoratus, pulcher, rex denique regum; Præcipue sanus, nisi quum pituita molesta est."—Wyttenbach.

411See also "On Contentedness of Mind,"§ xii.

412Homer, "Iliad," xvi. 141. See the context also from 130 sq.

413Our author has used this illustration again in "Phocion," p. 742 B.

414Namely in § xxvii. where παῤῥησια is discussed.

415Contrary to the severe training he ought to undergo, well expressed by Horace, "De Arte Poetica," 412-414.

416Reading with Hercher ἀποτυμπανίζοντος και στρεβλοῦντος. This was Ptolemy Physcon.

417"Unus ex Alexandri adulatoribus: memoratus Curtio viii. 5, 6."—Wyttenbach.

418A common proverb among the ancients. See "Conjugal Precepts," § xl.; Erasmus, "Adagia," pp. 1222, 1838.

419A line out of Æschylus' "Myrmidons." Quoted again by our author, "Of Love," § v.

420Cleopatra.

421Homer, "Odyssey," x. 329. They are the words of Circe to Odysseus. But the line was suspected even by old grammarians, and is put in brackets in modern editions of the "Odyssey."

422See Lucretius, iv. 1079-1085.

423So Pliny, "Hist. Nat." xxv. 95: "Remedio est (cicutæ), priusquam perveniat ad vitalia, vini natura excalfactoria: sed in vino pota irremediabilis existimatur."

424Assigned to Pittacus by our author, "Septem Sapientum Convivium," § ii.

425So Wyttenbach, who reads ἐνστάσεις, and translates, "et libertate loquendi in nobis reprehendendis utitur, quando nos cupiditatibus morbisque animi nostri non indulgere, sed resistere, volumus."

426"Phœnissæ," 469-472.

427Like Juvenal's "Græculus esuriens in cælum, jusseris, ibit."—Juvenal, iii, 78.

428These are two successive lines found three times in Homer, "Iliad," xiv. 195, 196; xviii. 426, 427; "Odyssey," v. 89, 90. The two lines are in each case spoken by one person.

429Probably lines from "The Flatterer" of Menander.

430From the "Ino" of Euripides.

431From the "Erechtheus" of Euripides.

432We know from Athenæus, p. 420 D, that Apelles and Arcesilaus were friends.

433An allusion to Hesiod, "Works and Days," 235. Cf. Horace, "Odes," iv. 5. 23.

434See the beautiful story of Baucis and Philemon, Ovid, "Metamorphoses," viii. 626-724: "Cura pii dis sunt, et qui coluere coluntur."

435Compare Terence, "Andria," 43, 44. So too Seneca, "De Beneficiis," ii. 10: "Hæc enim beneficii inter duos lex est: alter statim oblivisci debet dati, alter accepti nunquam. Lacerat animum et premit frequens meritorum commemoratio."

436A similar story about the Samians and Lacedæmonians is told by Aristotle, "Œconom." ii. 9.

437A line from Euripides, "Iphigenia in Aulis," 407.

438Also in "Conjugal Precepts,"§ xxix.

439See Persius, iii. 21, 22, with Jahn's Note.

440See "On Love,"§ xxi.

441"Auri plumbique oppositio fere proverbialis est. Petronius, 'Satyricon,' 43. Plane fortunæ filius: in manu illius plumbum aureum fiebat."—Wyttenbach.The passage about the Lydian chariot is said to be by Pindar in our author, "Nicias," p. 523 D.

442Wyttenbach compares Seneca, "Epist." cxxiii. p. 495: "Horum sermo multum nocet: nam etiamsi non statim officit, semina in animo relinquit, sequiturque nos etiam cum ab illis discesserimus, resurrecturum postea malum."

443Compare Cicero, "De Amicitia," xxvi.: "Assentatio, quamvis perniciosa sit, nocere tamen nemini potest, nisi ei, qui eam recipit atque ea delectatur. Ita fit, ut is assentatoribus patefaciat aures suas maxime, qui ipse sibi assentetur et se maxime ipse delectet."

444Compare § i.

445Compare our Author, "Quaestiones Convivalium," viii. p. 717 F.

446So Horace, "Satires," i. 2, 24: "Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt."

447Homer, "Iliad," xiv. 84, 85.

448Compare Cicero, "De Officiis," i. 25: "Omnis autem animadversio et castigatio contumelia vacare debet: neque ad ejus, qui punitur aliquem aut verbis fatigat, sed ad reipublicæ utilitatem referri."

449"Iliad," xi. 654.

450"Iliad," xvi. 33-35.

451Cf. Plutarch, "Phocion," p. 746 D.

452A proverb of persons on the brink of destruction. Wells among the ancients were uncovered.

453"Iliad," ii. 215, of Thersites. As to Theagenes, see Seneca, "De Ira," ii. 23.

454Literally, "brings a cloud over fair weather."

455The MSS. have Lydian. Lysian Dionysus is also found in Pausanias, ix. 16. Lyæus is suggested by Wyttenbach, and read by Hercher. Lysius or Lyæus will both be connected with λύω, and so refer to Dionysus as the god that looses or frees us from care. See Horace, "Epodes," ix. 37, 38.

456Compare Juvenal, iii. 73, 74: "Sermo Promptus et Isæo torrentior."

457"Orestes," 667.

458Euripides, "Ion," 732.

459"Anabasis," ii. 6, 11.

460Perhaps by Euripides.

461"Olynth." ii. p. 8 C; "Pro Corona," 341 C.

462Homer, "Iliad," ix. 108, 109. They are the words of Nestor to Agamemnon.

463See Herodotus, i. 30-32.

464See Plato's "Symposium," p. 215 E.

465See Plato, "Epist." iv. p. 321 B.

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