Chapter 21

D.Still, your window1610Gives you an opportunity to watch.You could step out and hide in the garden.L.Alone?D.I would not ask my sister to play spy,If it were possible that any scandalDared with its spotted finger point at her.L.But who is the man, Diana?D.If I tell,—And you must know,—promise you will not breathe it.L.You need not ask.D.’Tis Frederick.L.Frederick!Incredible!D.No, ’tis not incredible.Nothing is incredible of any man.And, Laura, I know that he is in love. He carries1621A portrait of his lady in his pocket.L.(aside). Ah!D.I’ll make an effort first to get at that.But if I fail, I must ask you to watchTo-night, just for one night, only one hour.You are trembling, Laura.L.So are you, Diana.D.I am angry.L.So am I.D.No: you are frightened.Dare you not watch the garden?L.O yes: I promiseI’ll watch the garden well to-night, Diana.If he should venture again, I’ll see him. I thinkI could wait longer than one hour.1630D.Do so:I shall set guard within. Eleven’s the time.L.(aside). Could kindest ingenuity contriveBetter than this? But how shall I warn FrederickAbout the picture?—Enter Sir Gregory and St. Nicholas.D.Good-morning, gentlemen. I need not askThe reason why you visit me thus early.NICHOLAS.Early is late to them that find their sunriseIn seeing thee, my lady.D.Better speak, sir,Your poetry to Laura.N.She is my rose,1640The rose of my sun’s garden-ground, and IThe nightingale forlorn that steal to woo her.D.That’s very well. But I now, by my name,Should be your moon.N.I have a verse to fit.[Reciting.The flowers of dawn are uplifted to hearThe birds’enamoured tune,Which tell their love in the pale earOf the far-flying moon.D.That’s very beautiful. Now, tell your love:I fly.[Goes to Sir Gregory.Sir Gregory, sit you to the table:These are the articles.[They sit, D. shews papers.GREGORY.1650I much regretThe small provision that I make for Laura.But if St. Nicholas doth as he has promised,That will suffice. I see the treaty lacksNought but the seals.D.He will make Laura rich.G.My elder brother, as your ladyship knows,Is childless, and next heir to such estates,As fairly promise Laura twenty timesAs much as what St. Nicholas gives her now.Meanwhile we must not reckon on this chance.1660D.Read it, Sir Gregory.L.(to N.). The day is fixed, and there my father sitsReading the settlement: what would you more?N.O Laura,More gracious words. Who that now heard us talkWould guess we were to marry in two days?L.Maybe we are not.N.Nay, dear one, do not doubt me:Have I not sworn my faith a thousand times?And were I an emperor....L.Who wants emperors?N.Or even a prince.L.I do not care for princes.G.(aloud). Heigh! heigh! Why this will never do.What’s this?N.But what can now prevent our marriage, Laura?1671L.Human affairs are ever so uncertain,—And one of us might die,—and if ’twas you,Think how much needless sorrow I then should sufferFor having loved you now. And, seeing the risk,’Twere scarcely prudent to commit myselfMore than is necessary.N.O cruel wisdom!Are women all so careful of their feelings?G.Why, what a blundering fellow!D.What is’t, Sir Gregory?G.Heigh!N.But when we are married thou wilt love me, Laura?1680L.Yes, when we are married.N.I can wait for that:’Tis but two days;—and now we speak of it,I wish that thou wouldst tell me in what colour’Twould please thee that I dressed. Or wilt thou come,O’erlook the suits my tailor has prepared,And say which pleases best.L.Sir, since you strikeThe very root of the chord, I’ll tell you howYou may best please me. There was once a manI liked, whose custom it was to dress in black:If you will dress like him....N.In black!1690G.(Laura listens.)Your ladyship,I cannot sign this contract—the provisionI look for is not here; the scribe has blundered.This is no settlement at all. Who drew it?D.Frederick.G.Then he’s no lawyer. I am surprisedHe took this on himself.L.(aside).So, well done, Frederick!D.’Tis most provoking. Are you sure, Sir Gregory,’Tis as you say?N.(to Gregory). Will you not sign the contract?G.(rising). I cannot sign it.D.There’s a flaw, it seems,In the deed, St. Nicholas: but there’s time enoughTo have it drawn afresh. Pray come, Sir Gregory,1701Come to my study. Here we interruptThese lovers.[Beckons G. off. Exeunt D. and G.N.Now they are gone, put off this mask.L.What mask?N.Thou dost respect the Countess’eye and ear,And wilt not love when she is by: but nowGive me at least thy hand to kiss.L.Why no, sir.N.Say then thou lovest me, sweetest Laura.—L.Nay, but I do not, sir. I understandThat women love their husbands, and I promise1710To love mine when I am married; yes, as wellAs any happy woman on this earthHath ever loved. Are you content with that?N.I should be, Laura; but thou dost not speakAs if ’twere true. I could see well enoughThou wert not sorry when Sir Gregory saidHe would not sign. I know thou wilt not love me.L.Then why, in heaven’s name, would you marry me?N.Because I love thee. But I think no manDid ever love so cruel and strange a mistress.1720L.And you, sir, do no less appear to meDistrustful and impatient. Prithee go,Busy yourself to get your clothes in fashion:In two days is my marriage; after that—N.Well!L.After that all shall seem different.N.I made a sonnet of my love for thee,And would have given it.L.Why then did you not?N.I lost it in the garden.L.It can’t be lost.N.No. Tristram found it and won’t give it up.He says that Frederick wrote it.L.Frederick! nonsense, sir!1730Some one is coming. Excuse me.[Exit.N.O woman, various woman! thus to treatThe man she loves! and yet how well becomes theeThy native wit, when sweetest modestyIs masked thereby in tart indifference,Which spurs far more than doting tendernessThe passion it rebuffs. What wit she hath!My Laura! Wit is admirable in woman,It is so rare; and ’tis the salt of marriage.Frederick and Ricardo have re-entered.R.(to F.). Here’s our belated bee, let’s go elsewhere.1740F.Nay, drive him to his hole.R.How now, St. Nicholas!Musing, I think, on thy good fortune, eh?N.Good morning, Frederick, and, sir, how do you?R.Fairly, I thank thee, fairly: but in presenceOf happiness like thine, mine goes for nothing.F.Thou hast been honey-gathering early, sir.N.I will confess it: that was my pursuit.F.True to thy beeship, thy belated beeship.N.Sir!R.I am sure our friend means no offence.The happy expressions of true geniusStick in the memory.1750F.Yes, sir, it stuck fast,The Sphinx’s tear was somewhat sticky too.Thou didst not spare us; we were put to shame.N.Is that a reason, sir, before this strangerTo mock me? I can appreciate ridiculePrompted by envy at its proper worth.Affecting to find fault with my expressions!Good morning, gentlemen.[Exit.R.You poets treat each other vilely.1759F.Now, Richard.R.My scheme is this: I have written to my servants;They will receive you. Leave to-morrow night,1761And you will find all ready: You shall haveSuch a reception and fair bridal trim,And high festivities as shall dress outThe hasty manner of your coming.F.But first,How shall I make my escape? I am watched, suspected.R.I can arrange that too. By my behaviourAnd letter to the Countess I have contrivedTo win her trust. First I shall praise her schemeOf sending you to Milan, and then persuade her1771To send you again. You must hit on a planHow to convey your lady to the carriage,And all is done.F.What shall I do with Tristram?R.Leave him to me: my purse will settle him.F.’Tis excellently schemed; but if DianaPress me to tell how I obtained the letter,What can I say?R.She is easily put off:That question does not touch her. Any taleWill serve.F.Yet, Richard, what so generously1780You do for me must ruin you with her.Is’t possible you are cured!R.No, no: mistake not!I am more and more in love: and see my wayBy certain steps: and first to get thee married.Her love for thee is a romance, which ICan shift upon myself when thou art gone.And that she loves thee, thee the worthiest,Dearest and nearest of my earliest friends,Is no impediment. Is’t not half wayTo loving me? ’Tis happy for me, Frederick,Thou hast not seen her worth.1790F.And I half questionWhether ’tis not my duty as friend of bothTo close with her and save you.R.Thou dost not know her,Because, I thank thee for it, thou dost not love her.And, friend, thy speech is gross; why the truth isThere’s not a man or woman on God’s earth,However humble, mean, or ill-appearing,That hath not in his sight some grace and favour,Which angels see: but mortals overlook it,Being spiritually blind: for which afflictionThey have suffered half their shames, and slain the just.1801But Love, God’s gift, is spiritual sight;’Tis the perception, which man lacks of all,Given him of one, to see as angels see.This is man’s marriage: and what now I loveIs not, friend, what thou seest,—though thou mayst seeA beauty unparallel’d,—but rather thatWhich by love’s gift I see: so say no more.F.Forgive me, Richard: ’tis a just rebuke.I did speak grossly. ’Tis that artist’s prideOf which you used to warn me: I will confess it.1811In my own case I am idealistAt the price of all the world. If I believedI were as others, I should mock myself.I have not yet come to that. Now, in my excuse,Diana is sometimes laughable.R.And whoWould not be laughable who had his way,Or if one set his humours on a throne?F.Well, you will rule her. Still there’s room to fearYou may not win her.R.I doubt not to win:At least if you’ll be gone.1820F.Trust me to go.Re-enter Diana with papers in hand. Laura and Flora.D.Frederick!F.Your ladyship!D.This settlementIs but waste paper. Didst thou draw it thyself?F.I did, your ladyship.D.Then pray explain.F.If I have made any error....D.Error, sir!The lady is here left wholly unprovided.And if Sir Gregory had not by good fortuneStudied the terms, but trusted to thy skill,He had left his daughter penniless.F.There is full timeTo draw it afresh. I humbly crave your pardonFor my mistake.1830D.Stay, I have more against thee.I will proceed in form. We have an audience:Stand upon thy defence. I am the plaintiff,The accuser; and, Ricardo, be thou judge.Hear all. This gentleman hath been my secretaryNow for twelve months. In all my affairs I have setNo limit to my trust: I have ever shewn himAbsolute confidence: and yet how think youHath he repaid me? He hath lied to me.I accuse him here to his face before you all.1840He said to-day he had been last night to MilanAnd brought me a letter, when he had never been there,And had not brought it. Contradict me, sir,If I say wrong. You hear he is silent. NowI say he forged that letter.F.Silence, my lady,Is the answer fittest for a charge too grossTo be denied.D.Then tell me by what meansThe letter came to thee. Still silent. I hopeThou dost mark that, Ricardo.F.In my defenceI say I have served your ladyship as wellAs you have trusted me: and for this matter,—1851You gave me a letter for the Duke of MilanRequiring speedy answer. I procuredThat answer in good time.D.Ah, but thou saidstThat thou thyself didst bear it, as I bade thee.Silent? Now here’s a secret; there’s some matterWithheld from me which I have a right to know.I have cause to think thou hast upon thy personThe explanation. I would see what papersThou carriest with thee.F.I have no papers, madam,Such as you look to find.1860D.Thou sayst that letterWas not a forgery. I wish to seeIf something which I think is in thy pocketIs not a forgery.F.If on first appearanceOf having wronged you, you mistrust me thus,There is no cure. Demand my papers from me:I cannot take them back.D.I do demand them.F.You shall have everything in perfect orderBefore this evening.D.Stay! I wish to seeWhat papers thou hast with thee.F.Very well.1870This is the only pocket in my dress;Here the contents. (Offers a few letters.)D.Is that the only pocket?I thought there was another little pocketOn the left side.F.(aside). Ah! ’tis that villain TristramHath told her this.D.What say you, sir? Is’t true?No answer. Now I think the explanationLies in that pocket. If I am wrong, ’tis easyTo prove me so. But if thou hast a secret....F.I have a secret, and you are well informedI carry it on me. And to prove to all1880’Tis of a private nature, I will shew it.’Tis but this little case. (Shews case of portrait.)D.A portrait-case?F.A portrait.D.Ah, then, now we have the truth:Thou art in love. This is the wondrous sicknessThat keeps thee at home when I would send thee forth:Distracted thee in drawing of the deed....F.Enough, my lady; you have pushed this far enough.D.Oh no! I have now another charge of falsehood.I have long suspected this; and yesterdayWhen I did ask thee if thou wert in love,1890Thou didst deny it. But thou dost not now—So tell me who the lady is.L.(aside to R.). All’s lost!F.(coming quite to front). Your ladyship must grant me in private conductSome liberty: my honest duty and serviceNever surrendered that, and should availTo spare me this ungenerous inquisition.D.And very well, sir, if thou hast not transgressedThe rules of the court: these art thou bound to observe:And these, as well thou knowest, forbid my ladiesTo hide their love affairs from me. Dark meetings,1900Intrigue, sly correspondence, and the rest,Are treason here; nay, they are so well forbidden,That to conceal them is a breach of trust.Give me thy word then, Frederick, that this portraitIs not of any lady in my court,I’ll ask no more.—But if she is of the court,I’ll know who it is. Now speak, and quit thyself.F.I will not say whether it is so or no.D.That is confession. I must see the portrait.Ricardo, now thy judgment.R.I fear, my lady,1910I have too short acquaintance with the rulesAppealed to; and if I offer you my judgmentBy such unwritten statutes as obtainIn the best circles that I know, for instance,The court of Milan....D.What is the court of Milan?Are we not here at Belflor?—You know the rules,Laura; speak for me.L.He must shew the portrait.(Coming forward to F.)(Aside.) All’s lost unless I do it.(To F.)Sir, give it to me.Judgment hath gone against you. I can promiseNo eye shall learn thy secret but the Countess.1920To her ’tis due. So give her up the portrait.(Aside to F.) I will exchange them.—F. gives L. the portrait: which the spectators see her exchange for another. She turns, and, going to D., presents her with that.D.(taking). I thank thee, Laura; and now to learn the secret:Who is this wanton traitress? (Opens case.)Ah!—ha! ha!Impossible,—’tis true. Who would believe it?Why, friends, there is no secret after all:No lady,—’tis himself.—He carries a portrait of himself; himselfLeaning upon his elbow. Now, heaven save me!This I was told; but tho’my own eyes see it,1930I cannot credit it. O, gracious sir,I have wronged thee, and beg pardon. Yet, I think,Thou losest in acquittal. O Frederick, Frederick!Although thou art a poet, and mayst thinkThou hast a touch of rarer stuff, to make theeSelf-centred;—nay, tho’thou wert more than that,More than I ever thought thee....To carry thine own portrait! to have a pocketFor it! well, well! ’tis a fair picture enough,Not undeserving of its jewelled case.1940Poor little image! now I’m sorry for thee;Thou hast no lady-lover, but must liveIn thine own pocket, as it were.—Let me have thee,I’ll keep thee—may I not, Frederick?—a remembranceOf better hopes. Come, Laura: doth your poetCarry his portrait, too? He is distanced quite.[Exit D. and L. with Flora.F.By heaven, well saved!R.What is’t? I understand not.’Twas your own portrait?F.Yes; but that I hadWas Laura’s. She having mine, stepped in between,And interchanged them.R.I never saw it. Bravo!—most deftly done.1951F.’Twas touch and go. That meddling devil, Tristram,He must have told her of it.Re-enter Laura.L.The Countess, Frederick,Bids me return the portrait. You may dieTo look on it, she says,—here ’tis. (Giving her own.)F.Be sureThis is the right one. Well: she says not ill. (Kissing it.)L.I tremble still.F.O, you did well.L.To-nightBe in the park again—under my window—I am set to watch for you.F.You!L.Yes,—by Diana.Eleven,—I dare not stay. Farewell till then.[Exit.1960F.Well, there’s the end of it, Richard.R.Yes: and ’tis plainShe never really loved you. Yet, if I am right,Here’s a new difficulty arisen. Diana,If she believes this nonsense, will no longerBe jealous for you; and I shall never manageTo get you off to Milan.F.’Tis worse than ever.What can we do?R.’Tis best I undeceive her,And set things as they were. Her jealousyIs ground to work on; but this fooleryIs bottomless.Re-enter Flora.Fl.(to R.). Her ladyship has sentTo beg you await her, sir. She hath a matterTo speak of with you in private.1970R.Bear my respectsBack to your mistress;—say I await her here.[Exit Flora.See how I prosper. Get you gone, while IStep in your shoes.F.Richard, do not be rash:And if you find she is cured, leave well alone.R.Trust me: in serving you I serve myself.[Exit F.Diana hath not been honestly in love.If ’twere the virtual Frederick she adoredShe could not so mistake him. ’Tis but fancy,Which jealousy hath magnified to passion:1980And now she eyes him as the fox the grapes,And rather than be crossed, she’ll be persuadedThat he’s an idiot. That’s not honest love,—Fanciful consolations are the comfortOf fancied passion,—love needs better food.Re-enter Diana.D.How now, Ricardo? I have not done laughing yet.What of my ingenious secretary? I think’Tis well I trapped him: we might else have searchedFor a lady long enough.R.You are satisfiedBy this discovery?D.Clearly; all is explained.1990I came to tell you the campaign is over.Finding there’s nought to seek, the search is ended.The wonder is, Tristram had solved the mystery,And told me; but I laughed.R.Now you believe?D.Ha! ha!R.How you must now despise him!D.I do, indeed.R.You laugh. ’Tis strange that it should please you.D.Ah!I laugh to think there was no cause for allMy....R.Your....D.My needless trouble, my anxiety.R.Anxiety,—you mean, lest?...D.For my maids.R.(half-aside). Indeed!—indeed!D.’Twas more than laughableTo see him; and you there with your face so grave.2001R.I thought you were deceived.D.I was deceived,But now I understand.R.Your ladyship,I think, is more mistaken now than ever.Frederick hath told me himself that he is in love;And that’s the truth, both likely, and well-confirmed,Even by the accident you set against it.You find on him a portrait of himselfSet in a jewelled case; just such a giftAs he might make to his lady. I know, from him,He hath her picture.

D.Still, your window1610Gives you an opportunity to watch.You could step out and hide in the garden.

D.Still, your window

Gives you an opportunity to watch.

You could step out and hide in the garden.

L.Alone?

D.I would not ask my sister to play spy,If it were possible that any scandalDared with its spotted finger point at her.

D.I would not ask my sister to play spy,

If it were possible that any scandal

Dared with its spotted finger point at her.

L.But who is the man, Diana?

D.If I tell,—And you must know,—promise you will not breathe it.

D.If I tell,—

And you must know,—promise you will not breathe it.

L.You need not ask.

D.’Tis Frederick.

L.Frederick!Incredible!

L.Frederick!

Incredible!

D.No, ’tis not incredible.Nothing is incredible of any man.And, Laura, I know that he is in love. He carries1621A portrait of his lady in his pocket.

D.No, ’tis not incredible.

Nothing is incredible of any man.

And, Laura, I know that he is in love. He carries

A portrait of his lady in his pocket.

L.(aside). Ah!

D.I’ll make an effort first to get at that.But if I fail, I must ask you to watchTo-night, just for one night, only one hour.You are trembling, Laura.

D.I’ll make an effort first to get at that.

But if I fail, I must ask you to watch

To-night, just for one night, only one hour.

You are trembling, Laura.

L.So are you, Diana.

D.I am angry.

L.So am I.

D.No: you are frightened.Dare you not watch the garden?

D.No: you are frightened.

Dare you not watch the garden?

L.O yes: I promiseI’ll watch the garden well to-night, Diana.If he should venture again, I’ll see him. I thinkI could wait longer than one hour.

L.O yes: I promise

I’ll watch the garden well to-night, Diana.

If he should venture again, I’ll see him. I think

I could wait longer than one hour.

1630D.Do so:I shall set guard within. Eleven’s the time.

D.Do so:

I shall set guard within. Eleven’s the time.

L.(aside). Could kindest ingenuity contriveBetter than this? But how shall I warn FrederickAbout the picture?—

L.(aside). Could kindest ingenuity contrive

Better than this? But how shall I warn Frederick

About the picture?—

Enter Sir Gregory and St. Nicholas.

D.Good-morning, gentlemen. I need not askThe reason why you visit me thus early.

D.Good-morning, gentlemen. I need not ask

The reason why you visit me thus early.

NICHOLAS.

Early is late to them that find their sunriseIn seeing thee, my lady.

Early is late to them that find their sunrise

In seeing thee, my lady.

D.Better speak, sir,Your poetry to Laura.

D.Better speak, sir,

Your poetry to Laura.

N.She is my rose,1640The rose of my sun’s garden-ground, and IThe nightingale forlorn that steal to woo her.

N.She is my rose,

The rose of my sun’s garden-ground, and I

The nightingale forlorn that steal to woo her.

D.That’s very well. But I now, by my name,Should be your moon.

D.That’s very well. But I now, by my name,

Should be your moon.

N.I have a verse to fit.[Reciting.The flowers of dawn are uplifted to hearThe birds’enamoured tune,Which tell their love in the pale earOf the far-flying moon.

N.I have a verse to fit.[Reciting.

The flowers of dawn are uplifted to hear

The birds’enamoured tune,

Which tell their love in the pale ear

Of the far-flying moon.

D.That’s very beautiful. Now, tell your love:I fly.[Goes to Sir Gregory.Sir Gregory, sit you to the table:These are the articles.[They sit, D. shews papers.

D.That’s very beautiful. Now, tell your love:

I fly.[Goes to Sir Gregory.

Sir Gregory, sit you to the table:

These are the articles.[They sit, D. shews papers.

GREGORY.

1650I much regretThe small provision that I make for Laura.But if St. Nicholas doth as he has promised,That will suffice. I see the treaty lacksNought but the seals.

I much regret

The small provision that I make for Laura.

But if St. Nicholas doth as he has promised,

That will suffice. I see the treaty lacks

Nought but the seals.

D.He will make Laura rich.

G.My elder brother, as your ladyship knows,Is childless, and next heir to such estates,As fairly promise Laura twenty timesAs much as what St. Nicholas gives her now.Meanwhile we must not reckon on this chance.

G.My elder brother, as your ladyship knows,

Is childless, and next heir to such estates,

As fairly promise Laura twenty times

As much as what St. Nicholas gives her now.

Meanwhile we must not reckon on this chance.

1660D.Read it, Sir Gregory.

D.Read it, Sir Gregory.

L.(to N.). The day is fixed, and there my father sitsReading the settlement: what would you more?

L.(to N.). The day is fixed, and there my father sits

Reading the settlement: what would you more?

N.O Laura,More gracious words. Who that now heard us talkWould guess we were to marry in two days?

N.O Laura,

More gracious words. Who that now heard us talk

Would guess we were to marry in two days?

L.Maybe we are not.

N.Nay, dear one, do not doubt me:Have I not sworn my faith a thousand times?And were I an emperor....

N.Nay, dear one, do not doubt me:

Have I not sworn my faith a thousand times?

And were I an emperor....

L.Who wants emperors?

N.Or even a prince.

L.I do not care for princes.

G.(aloud). Heigh! heigh! Why this will never do.What’s this?

G.(aloud). Heigh! heigh! Why this will never do.

What’s this?

N.But what can now prevent our marriage, Laura?

1671L.Human affairs are ever so uncertain,—And one of us might die,—and if ’twas you,Think how much needless sorrow I then should sufferFor having loved you now. And, seeing the risk,’Twere scarcely prudent to commit myselfMore than is necessary.

L.Human affairs are ever so uncertain,—

And one of us might die,—and if ’twas you,

Think how much needless sorrow I then should suffer

For having loved you now. And, seeing the risk,

’Twere scarcely prudent to commit myself

More than is necessary.

N.O cruel wisdom!Are women all so careful of their feelings?

N.O cruel wisdom!

Are women all so careful of their feelings?

G.Why, what a blundering fellow!

D.What is’t, Sir Gregory?

G.Heigh!

N.But when we are married thou wilt love me, Laura?

1680L.Yes, when we are married.

L.Yes, when we are married.

N.I can wait for that:’Tis but two days;—and now we speak of it,I wish that thou wouldst tell me in what colour’Twould please thee that I dressed. Or wilt thou come,O’erlook the suits my tailor has prepared,And say which pleases best.

N.I can wait for that:

’Tis but two days;—and now we speak of it,

I wish that thou wouldst tell me in what colour

’Twould please thee that I dressed. Or wilt thou come,

O’erlook the suits my tailor has prepared,

And say which pleases best.

L.Sir, since you strikeThe very root of the chord, I’ll tell you howYou may best please me. There was once a manI liked, whose custom it was to dress in black:If you will dress like him....

L.Sir, since you strike

The very root of the chord, I’ll tell you how

You may best please me. There was once a man

I liked, whose custom it was to dress in black:

If you will dress like him....

N.In black!

1690G.(Laura listens.)Your ladyship,I cannot sign this contract—the provisionI look for is not here; the scribe has blundered.This is no settlement at all. Who drew it?D.Frederick.G.Then he’s no lawyer. I am surprisedHe took this on himself.L.(aside).So, well done, Frederick!D.’Tis most provoking. Are you sure, Sir Gregory,’Tis as you say?N.(to Gregory). Will you not sign the contract?G.(rising). I cannot sign it.D.There’s a flaw, it seems,In the deed, St. Nicholas: but there’s time enoughTo have it drawn afresh. Pray come, Sir Gregory,1701Come to my study. Here we interruptThese lovers.[Beckons G. off. Exeunt D. and G.N.Now they are gone, put off this mask.L.What mask?N.Thou dost respect the Countess’eye and ear,And wilt not love when she is by: but nowGive me at least thy hand to kiss.L.Why no, sir.N.Say then thou lovest me, sweetest Laura.—L.Nay, but I do not, sir. I understandThat women love their husbands, and I promise1710To love mine when I am married; yes, as wellAs any happy woman on this earthHath ever loved. Are you content with that?N.I should be, Laura; but thou dost not speakAs if ’twere true. I could see well enoughThou wert not sorry when Sir Gregory saidHe would not sign. I know thou wilt not love me.L.Then why, in heaven’s name, would you marry me?N.Because I love thee. But I think no manDid ever love so cruel and strange a mistress.1720L.And you, sir, do no less appear to meDistrustful and impatient. Prithee go,Busy yourself to get your clothes in fashion:In two days is my marriage; after that—N.Well!L.After that all shall seem different.N.I made a sonnet of my love for thee,And would have given it.L.Why then did you not?N.I lost it in the garden.L.It can’t be lost.N.No. Tristram found it and won’t give it up.He says that Frederick wrote it.L.Frederick! nonsense, sir!1730Some one is coming. Excuse me.[Exit.N.O woman, various woman! thus to treatThe man she loves! and yet how well becomes theeThy native wit, when sweetest modestyIs masked thereby in tart indifference,Which spurs far more than doting tendernessThe passion it rebuffs. What wit she hath!My Laura! Wit is admirable in woman,It is so rare; and ’tis the salt of marriage.Frederick and Ricardo have re-entered.R.(to F.). Here’s our belated bee, let’s go elsewhere.1740F.Nay, drive him to his hole.R.How now, St. Nicholas!Musing, I think, on thy good fortune, eh?N.Good morning, Frederick, and, sir, how do you?R.Fairly, I thank thee, fairly: but in presenceOf happiness like thine, mine goes for nothing.F.Thou hast been honey-gathering early, sir.N.I will confess it: that was my pursuit.F.True to thy beeship, thy belated beeship.N.Sir!R.I am sure our friend means no offence.The happy expressions of true geniusStick in the memory.1750F.Yes, sir, it stuck fast,The Sphinx’s tear was somewhat sticky too.Thou didst not spare us; we were put to shame.N.Is that a reason, sir, before this strangerTo mock me? I can appreciate ridiculePrompted by envy at its proper worth.Affecting to find fault with my expressions!Good morning, gentlemen.[Exit.R.You poets treat each other vilely.1759F.Now, Richard.R.My scheme is this: I have written to my servants;They will receive you. Leave to-morrow night,1761And you will find all ready: You shall haveSuch a reception and fair bridal trim,And high festivities as shall dress outThe hasty manner of your coming.F.But first,How shall I make my escape? I am watched, suspected.R.I can arrange that too. By my behaviourAnd letter to the Countess I have contrivedTo win her trust. First I shall praise her schemeOf sending you to Milan, and then persuade her1771To send you again. You must hit on a planHow to convey your lady to the carriage,And all is done.F.What shall I do with Tristram?R.Leave him to me: my purse will settle him.F.’Tis excellently schemed; but if DianaPress me to tell how I obtained the letter,What can I say?R.She is easily put off:That question does not touch her. Any taleWill serve.F.Yet, Richard, what so generously1780You do for me must ruin you with her.Is’t possible you are cured!R.No, no: mistake not!I am more and more in love: and see my wayBy certain steps: and first to get thee married.Her love for thee is a romance, which ICan shift upon myself when thou art gone.And that she loves thee, thee the worthiest,Dearest and nearest of my earliest friends,Is no impediment. Is’t not half wayTo loving me? ’Tis happy for me, Frederick,Thou hast not seen her worth.1790F.And I half questionWhether ’tis not my duty as friend of bothTo close with her and save you.R.Thou dost not know her,Because, I thank thee for it, thou dost not love her.And, friend, thy speech is gross; why the truth isThere’s not a man or woman on God’s earth,However humble, mean, or ill-appearing,That hath not in his sight some grace and favour,Which angels see: but mortals overlook it,Being spiritually blind: for which afflictionThey have suffered half their shames, and slain the just.1801But Love, God’s gift, is spiritual sight;’Tis the perception, which man lacks of all,Given him of one, to see as angels see.This is man’s marriage: and what now I loveIs not, friend, what thou seest,—though thou mayst seeA beauty unparallel’d,—but rather thatWhich by love’s gift I see: so say no more.F.Forgive me, Richard: ’tis a just rebuke.I did speak grossly. ’Tis that artist’s prideOf which you used to warn me: I will confess it.1811In my own case I am idealistAt the price of all the world. If I believedI were as others, I should mock myself.I have not yet come to that. Now, in my excuse,Diana is sometimes laughable.R.And whoWould not be laughable who had his way,Or if one set his humours on a throne?F.Well, you will rule her. Still there’s room to fearYou may not win her.R.I doubt not to win:At least if you’ll be gone.1820F.Trust me to go.Re-enter Diana with papers in hand. Laura and Flora.D.Frederick!F.Your ladyship!D.This settlementIs but waste paper. Didst thou draw it thyself?F.I did, your ladyship.D.Then pray explain.F.If I have made any error....D.Error, sir!The lady is here left wholly unprovided.And if Sir Gregory had not by good fortuneStudied the terms, but trusted to thy skill,He had left his daughter penniless.F.There is full timeTo draw it afresh. I humbly crave your pardonFor my mistake.1830D.Stay, I have more against thee.I will proceed in form. We have an audience:Stand upon thy defence. I am the plaintiff,The accuser; and, Ricardo, be thou judge.Hear all. This gentleman hath been my secretaryNow for twelve months. In all my affairs I have setNo limit to my trust: I have ever shewn himAbsolute confidence: and yet how think youHath he repaid me? He hath lied to me.I accuse him here to his face before you all.1840He said to-day he had been last night to MilanAnd brought me a letter, when he had never been there,And had not brought it. Contradict me, sir,If I say wrong. You hear he is silent. NowI say he forged that letter.F.Silence, my lady,Is the answer fittest for a charge too grossTo be denied.D.Then tell me by what meansThe letter came to thee. Still silent. I hopeThou dost mark that, Ricardo.F.In my defenceI say I have served your ladyship as wellAs you have trusted me: and for this matter,—1851You gave me a letter for the Duke of MilanRequiring speedy answer. I procuredThat answer in good time.D.Ah, but thou saidstThat thou thyself didst bear it, as I bade thee.Silent? Now here’s a secret; there’s some matterWithheld from me which I have a right to know.I have cause to think thou hast upon thy personThe explanation. I would see what papersThou carriest with thee.F.I have no papers, madam,Such as you look to find.1860D.Thou sayst that letterWas not a forgery. I wish to seeIf something which I think is in thy pocketIs not a forgery.F.If on first appearanceOf having wronged you, you mistrust me thus,There is no cure. Demand my papers from me:I cannot take them back.D.I do demand them.F.You shall have everything in perfect orderBefore this evening.D.Stay! I wish to seeWhat papers thou hast with thee.F.Very well.1870This is the only pocket in my dress;Here the contents. (Offers a few letters.)D.Is that the only pocket?I thought there was another little pocketOn the left side.F.(aside). Ah! ’tis that villain TristramHath told her this.D.What say you, sir? Is’t true?No answer. Now I think the explanationLies in that pocket. If I am wrong, ’tis easyTo prove me so. But if thou hast a secret....F.I have a secret, and you are well informedI carry it on me. And to prove to all1880’Tis of a private nature, I will shew it.’Tis but this little case. (Shews case of portrait.)D.A portrait-case?F.A portrait.D.Ah, then, now we have the truth:Thou art in love. This is the wondrous sicknessThat keeps thee at home when I would send thee forth:Distracted thee in drawing of the deed....F.Enough, my lady; you have pushed this far enough.D.Oh no! I have now another charge of falsehood.I have long suspected this; and yesterdayWhen I did ask thee if thou wert in love,1890Thou didst deny it. But thou dost not now—So tell me who the lady is.L.(aside to R.). All’s lost!F.(coming quite to front). Your ladyship must grant me in private conductSome liberty: my honest duty and serviceNever surrendered that, and should availTo spare me this ungenerous inquisition.D.And very well, sir, if thou hast not transgressedThe rules of the court: these art thou bound to observe:And these, as well thou knowest, forbid my ladiesTo hide their love affairs from me. Dark meetings,1900Intrigue, sly correspondence, and the rest,Are treason here; nay, they are so well forbidden,That to conceal them is a breach of trust.Give me thy word then, Frederick, that this portraitIs not of any lady in my court,I’ll ask no more.—But if she is of the court,I’ll know who it is. Now speak, and quit thyself.F.I will not say whether it is so or no.D.That is confession. I must see the portrait.Ricardo, now thy judgment.R.I fear, my lady,1910I have too short acquaintance with the rulesAppealed to; and if I offer you my judgmentBy such unwritten statutes as obtainIn the best circles that I know, for instance,The court of Milan....D.What is the court of Milan?Are we not here at Belflor?—You know the rules,Laura; speak for me.L.He must shew the portrait.

G.(Laura listens.)Your ladyship,I cannot sign this contract—the provisionI look for is not here; the scribe has blundered.This is no settlement at all. Who drew it?

Your ladyship,

I cannot sign this contract—the provision

I look for is not here; the scribe has blundered.

This is no settlement at all. Who drew it?

D.Frederick.

G.Then he’s no lawyer. I am surprisedHe took this on himself.

G.Then he’s no lawyer. I am surprised

He took this on himself.

L.(aside).So, well done, Frederick!

D.’Tis most provoking. Are you sure, Sir Gregory,’Tis as you say?

D.’Tis most provoking. Are you sure, Sir Gregory,

’Tis as you say?

N.(to Gregory). Will you not sign the contract?

G.(rising). I cannot sign it.

D.There’s a flaw, it seems,In the deed, St. Nicholas: but there’s time enoughTo have it drawn afresh. Pray come, Sir Gregory,1701Come to my study. Here we interruptThese lovers.[Beckons G. off. Exeunt D. and G.

D.There’s a flaw, it seems,

In the deed, St. Nicholas: but there’s time enough

To have it drawn afresh. Pray come, Sir Gregory,

Come to my study. Here we interrupt

These lovers.[Beckons G. off. Exeunt D. and G.

N.Now they are gone, put off this mask.

L.What mask?

N.Thou dost respect the Countess’eye and ear,And wilt not love when she is by: but nowGive me at least thy hand to kiss.

N.Thou dost respect the Countess’eye and ear,

And wilt not love when she is by: but now

Give me at least thy hand to kiss.

L.Why no, sir.

N.Say then thou lovest me, sweetest Laura.—

L.Nay, but I do not, sir. I understandThat women love their husbands, and I promise1710To love mine when I am married; yes, as wellAs any happy woman on this earthHath ever loved. Are you content with that?

L.Nay, but I do not, sir. I understand

That women love their husbands, and I promise

To love mine when I am married; yes, as well

As any happy woman on this earth

Hath ever loved. Are you content with that?

N.I should be, Laura; but thou dost not speakAs if ’twere true. I could see well enoughThou wert not sorry when Sir Gregory saidHe would not sign. I know thou wilt not love me.

N.I should be, Laura; but thou dost not speak

As if ’twere true. I could see well enough

Thou wert not sorry when Sir Gregory said

He would not sign. I know thou wilt not love me.

L.Then why, in heaven’s name, would you marry me?

N.Because I love thee. But I think no manDid ever love so cruel and strange a mistress.

N.Because I love thee. But I think no man

Did ever love so cruel and strange a mistress.

1720L.And you, sir, do no less appear to meDistrustful and impatient. Prithee go,Busy yourself to get your clothes in fashion:In two days is my marriage; after that—

L.And you, sir, do no less appear to me

Distrustful and impatient. Prithee go,

Busy yourself to get your clothes in fashion:

In two days is my marriage; after that—

N.Well!

L.After that all shall seem different.

N.I made a sonnet of my love for thee,And would have given it.

N.I made a sonnet of my love for thee,

And would have given it.

L.Why then did you not?

N.I lost it in the garden.

L.It can’t be lost.

N.No. Tristram found it and won’t give it up.He says that Frederick wrote it.

N.No. Tristram found it and won’t give it up.

He says that Frederick wrote it.

L.Frederick! nonsense, sir!1730Some one is coming. Excuse me.[Exit.

L.Frederick! nonsense, sir!

Some one is coming. Excuse me.[Exit.

N.O woman, various woman! thus to treatThe man she loves! and yet how well becomes theeThy native wit, when sweetest modestyIs masked thereby in tart indifference,Which spurs far more than doting tendernessThe passion it rebuffs. What wit she hath!My Laura! Wit is admirable in woman,It is so rare; and ’tis the salt of marriage.

N.O woman, various woman! thus to treat

The man she loves! and yet how well becomes thee

Thy native wit, when sweetest modesty

Is masked thereby in tart indifference,

Which spurs far more than doting tenderness

The passion it rebuffs. What wit she hath!

My Laura! Wit is admirable in woman,

It is so rare; and ’tis the salt of marriage.

Frederick and Ricardo have re-entered.

R.(to F.). Here’s our belated bee, let’s go elsewhere.

1740F.Nay, drive him to his hole.

F.Nay, drive him to his hole.

R.How now, St. Nicholas!Musing, I think, on thy good fortune, eh?

R.How now, St. Nicholas!

Musing, I think, on thy good fortune, eh?

N.Good morning, Frederick, and, sir, how do you?

R.Fairly, I thank thee, fairly: but in presenceOf happiness like thine, mine goes for nothing.

R.Fairly, I thank thee, fairly: but in presence

Of happiness like thine, mine goes for nothing.

F.Thou hast been honey-gathering early, sir.

N.I will confess it: that was my pursuit.

F.True to thy beeship, thy belated beeship.

N.Sir!

R.I am sure our friend means no offence.The happy expressions of true geniusStick in the memory.

R.I am sure our friend means no offence.

The happy expressions of true genius

Stick in the memory.

1750F.Yes, sir, it stuck fast,The Sphinx’s tear was somewhat sticky too.Thou didst not spare us; we were put to shame.

F.Yes, sir, it stuck fast,

The Sphinx’s tear was somewhat sticky too.

Thou didst not spare us; we were put to shame.

N.Is that a reason, sir, before this strangerTo mock me? I can appreciate ridiculePrompted by envy at its proper worth.Affecting to find fault with my expressions!Good morning, gentlemen.[Exit.

N.Is that a reason, sir, before this stranger

To mock me? I can appreciate ridicule

Prompted by envy at its proper worth.

Affecting to find fault with my expressions!

Good morning, gentlemen.[Exit.

R.You poets treat each other vilely.

1759F.Now, Richard.

F.Now, Richard.

R.My scheme is this: I have written to my servants;They will receive you. Leave to-morrow night,1761And you will find all ready: You shall haveSuch a reception and fair bridal trim,And high festivities as shall dress outThe hasty manner of your coming.

R.My scheme is this: I have written to my servants;

They will receive you. Leave to-morrow night,

And you will find all ready: You shall have

Such a reception and fair bridal trim,

And high festivities as shall dress out

The hasty manner of your coming.

F.But first,How shall I make my escape? I am watched, suspected.

F.But first,

How shall I make my escape? I am watched, suspected.

R.I can arrange that too. By my behaviourAnd letter to the Countess I have contrivedTo win her trust. First I shall praise her schemeOf sending you to Milan, and then persuade her1771To send you again. You must hit on a planHow to convey your lady to the carriage,And all is done.

R.I can arrange that too. By my behaviour

And letter to the Countess I have contrived

To win her trust. First I shall praise her scheme

Of sending you to Milan, and then persuade her

To send you again. You must hit on a plan

How to convey your lady to the carriage,

And all is done.

F.What shall I do with Tristram?

R.Leave him to me: my purse will settle him.

F.’Tis excellently schemed; but if DianaPress me to tell how I obtained the letter,What can I say?

F.’Tis excellently schemed; but if Diana

Press me to tell how I obtained the letter,

What can I say?

R.She is easily put off:That question does not touch her. Any taleWill serve.

R.She is easily put off:

That question does not touch her. Any tale

Will serve.

F.Yet, Richard, what so generously1780You do for me must ruin you with her.Is’t possible you are cured!

F.Yet, Richard, what so generously

You do for me must ruin you with her.

Is’t possible you are cured!

R.No, no: mistake not!I am more and more in love: and see my wayBy certain steps: and first to get thee married.Her love for thee is a romance, which ICan shift upon myself when thou art gone.And that she loves thee, thee the worthiest,Dearest and nearest of my earliest friends,Is no impediment. Is’t not half wayTo loving me? ’Tis happy for me, Frederick,Thou hast not seen her worth.

R.No, no: mistake not!

I am more and more in love: and see my way

By certain steps: and first to get thee married.

Her love for thee is a romance, which I

Can shift upon myself when thou art gone.

And that she loves thee, thee the worthiest,

Dearest and nearest of my earliest friends,

Is no impediment. Is’t not half way

To loving me? ’Tis happy for me, Frederick,

Thou hast not seen her worth.

1790F.And I half questionWhether ’tis not my duty as friend of bothTo close with her and save you.

F.And I half question

Whether ’tis not my duty as friend of both

To close with her and save you.

R.Thou dost not know her,Because, I thank thee for it, thou dost not love her.And, friend, thy speech is gross; why the truth isThere’s not a man or woman on God’s earth,However humble, mean, or ill-appearing,That hath not in his sight some grace and favour,Which angels see: but mortals overlook it,Being spiritually blind: for which afflictionThey have suffered half their shames, and slain the just.1801But Love, God’s gift, is spiritual sight;’Tis the perception, which man lacks of all,Given him of one, to see as angels see.This is man’s marriage: and what now I loveIs not, friend, what thou seest,—though thou mayst seeA beauty unparallel’d,—but rather thatWhich by love’s gift I see: so say no more.

R.Thou dost not know her,

Because, I thank thee for it, thou dost not love her.

And, friend, thy speech is gross; why the truth is

There’s not a man or woman on God’s earth,

However humble, mean, or ill-appearing,

That hath not in his sight some grace and favour,

Which angels see: but mortals overlook it,

Being spiritually blind: for which affliction

They have suffered half their shames, and slain the just.

But Love, God’s gift, is spiritual sight;

’Tis the perception, which man lacks of all,

Given him of one, to see as angels see.

This is man’s marriage: and what now I love

Is not, friend, what thou seest,—though thou mayst see

A beauty unparallel’d,—but rather that

Which by love’s gift I see: so say no more.

F.Forgive me, Richard: ’tis a just rebuke.I did speak grossly. ’Tis that artist’s prideOf which you used to warn me: I will confess it.1811In my own case I am idealistAt the price of all the world. If I believedI were as others, I should mock myself.I have not yet come to that. Now, in my excuse,Diana is sometimes laughable.

F.Forgive me, Richard: ’tis a just rebuke.

I did speak grossly. ’Tis that artist’s pride

Of which you used to warn me: I will confess it.

In my own case I am idealist

At the price of all the world. If I believed

I were as others, I should mock myself.

I have not yet come to that. Now, in my excuse,

Diana is sometimes laughable.

R.And whoWould not be laughable who had his way,Or if one set his humours on a throne?

R.And who

Would not be laughable who had his way,

Or if one set his humours on a throne?

F.Well, you will rule her. Still there’s room to fearYou may not win her.

F.Well, you will rule her. Still there’s room to fear

You may not win her.

R.I doubt not to win:At least if you’ll be gone.

R.I doubt not to win:

At least if you’ll be gone.

1820F.Trust me to go.

F.Trust me to go.

Re-enter Diana with papers in hand. Laura and Flora.

D.Frederick!

F.Your ladyship!

D.This settlementIs but waste paper. Didst thou draw it thyself?

D.This settlement

Is but waste paper. Didst thou draw it thyself?

F.I did, your ladyship.

D.Then pray explain.

F.If I have made any error....

D.Error, sir!The lady is here left wholly unprovided.And if Sir Gregory had not by good fortuneStudied the terms, but trusted to thy skill,He had left his daughter penniless.

D.Error, sir!

The lady is here left wholly unprovided.

And if Sir Gregory had not by good fortune

Studied the terms, but trusted to thy skill,

He had left his daughter penniless.

F.There is full timeTo draw it afresh. I humbly crave your pardonFor my mistake.

F.There is full time

To draw it afresh. I humbly crave your pardon

For my mistake.

1830D.Stay, I have more against thee.I will proceed in form. We have an audience:Stand upon thy defence. I am the plaintiff,The accuser; and, Ricardo, be thou judge.Hear all. This gentleman hath been my secretaryNow for twelve months. In all my affairs I have setNo limit to my trust: I have ever shewn himAbsolute confidence: and yet how think youHath he repaid me? He hath lied to me.I accuse him here to his face before you all.1840He said to-day he had been last night to MilanAnd brought me a letter, when he had never been there,And had not brought it. Contradict me, sir,If I say wrong. You hear he is silent. NowI say he forged that letter.

D.Stay, I have more against thee.

I will proceed in form. We have an audience:

Stand upon thy defence. I am the plaintiff,

The accuser; and, Ricardo, be thou judge.

Hear all. This gentleman hath been my secretary

Now for twelve months. In all my affairs I have set

No limit to my trust: I have ever shewn him

Absolute confidence: and yet how think you

Hath he repaid me? He hath lied to me.

I accuse him here to his face before you all.

He said to-day he had been last night to Milan

And brought me a letter, when he had never been there,

And had not brought it. Contradict me, sir,

If I say wrong. You hear he is silent. Now

I say he forged that letter.

F.Silence, my lady,Is the answer fittest for a charge too grossTo be denied.

F.Silence, my lady,

Is the answer fittest for a charge too gross

To be denied.

D.Then tell me by what meansThe letter came to thee. Still silent. I hopeThou dost mark that, Ricardo.

D.Then tell me by what means

The letter came to thee. Still silent. I hope

Thou dost mark that, Ricardo.

F.In my defenceI say I have served your ladyship as wellAs you have trusted me: and for this matter,—1851You gave me a letter for the Duke of MilanRequiring speedy answer. I procuredThat answer in good time.

F.In my defence

I say I have served your ladyship as well

As you have trusted me: and for this matter,—

You gave me a letter for the Duke of Milan

Requiring speedy answer. I procured

That answer in good time.

D.Ah, but thou saidstThat thou thyself didst bear it, as I bade thee.Silent? Now here’s a secret; there’s some matterWithheld from me which I have a right to know.I have cause to think thou hast upon thy personThe explanation. I would see what papersThou carriest with thee.

D.Ah, but thou saidst

That thou thyself didst bear it, as I bade thee.

Silent? Now here’s a secret; there’s some matter

Withheld from me which I have a right to know.

I have cause to think thou hast upon thy person

The explanation. I would see what papers

Thou carriest with thee.

F.I have no papers, madam,Such as you look to find.

F.I have no papers, madam,

Such as you look to find.

1860D.Thou sayst that letterWas not a forgery. I wish to seeIf something which I think is in thy pocketIs not a forgery.

D.Thou sayst that letter

Was not a forgery. I wish to see

If something which I think is in thy pocket

Is not a forgery.

F.If on first appearanceOf having wronged you, you mistrust me thus,There is no cure. Demand my papers from me:I cannot take them back.

F.If on first appearance

Of having wronged you, you mistrust me thus,

There is no cure. Demand my papers from me:

I cannot take them back.

D.I do demand them.

F.You shall have everything in perfect orderBefore this evening.

F.You shall have everything in perfect order

Before this evening.

D.Stay! I wish to seeWhat papers thou hast with thee.

D.Stay! I wish to see

What papers thou hast with thee.

F.Very well.1870This is the only pocket in my dress;Here the contents. (Offers a few letters.)

F.Very well.

This is the only pocket in my dress;

Here the contents. (Offers a few letters.)

D.Is that the only pocket?I thought there was another little pocketOn the left side.

D.Is that the only pocket?

I thought there was another little pocket

On the left side.

F.(aside). Ah! ’tis that villain TristramHath told her this.

F.(aside). Ah! ’tis that villain Tristram

Hath told her this.

D.What say you, sir? Is’t true?No answer. Now I think the explanationLies in that pocket. If I am wrong, ’tis easyTo prove me so. But if thou hast a secret....

D.What say you, sir? Is’t true?

No answer. Now I think the explanation

Lies in that pocket. If I am wrong, ’tis easy

To prove me so. But if thou hast a secret....

F.I have a secret, and you are well informedI carry it on me. And to prove to all1880’Tis of a private nature, I will shew it.’Tis but this little case. (Shews case of portrait.)

F.I have a secret, and you are well informed

I carry it on me. And to prove to all

’Tis of a private nature, I will shew it.

’Tis but this little case. (Shews case of portrait.)

D.A portrait-case?

F.A portrait.

D.Ah, then, now we have the truth:Thou art in love. This is the wondrous sicknessThat keeps thee at home when I would send thee forth:Distracted thee in drawing of the deed....

D.Ah, then, now we have the truth:

Thou art in love. This is the wondrous sickness

That keeps thee at home when I would send thee forth:

Distracted thee in drawing of the deed....

F.Enough, my lady; you have pushed this far enough.

D.Oh no! I have now another charge of falsehood.I have long suspected this; and yesterdayWhen I did ask thee if thou wert in love,1890Thou didst deny it. But thou dost not now—So tell me who the lady is.

D.Oh no! I have now another charge of falsehood.

I have long suspected this; and yesterday

When I did ask thee if thou wert in love,

Thou didst deny it. But thou dost not now—

So tell me who the lady is.

L.(aside to R.). All’s lost!

F.(coming quite to front). Your ladyship must grant me in private conductSome liberty: my honest duty and serviceNever surrendered that, and should availTo spare me this ungenerous inquisition.

F.(coming quite to front). Your ladyship must grant me in private conduct

Some liberty: my honest duty and service

Never surrendered that, and should avail

To spare me this ungenerous inquisition.

D.And very well, sir, if thou hast not transgressedThe rules of the court: these art thou bound to observe:And these, as well thou knowest, forbid my ladiesTo hide their love affairs from me. Dark meetings,1900Intrigue, sly correspondence, and the rest,Are treason here; nay, they are so well forbidden,That to conceal them is a breach of trust.Give me thy word then, Frederick, that this portraitIs not of any lady in my court,I’ll ask no more.—But if she is of the court,I’ll know who it is. Now speak, and quit thyself.

D.And very well, sir, if thou hast not transgressed

The rules of the court: these art thou bound to observe:

And these, as well thou knowest, forbid my ladies

To hide their love affairs from me. Dark meetings,

Intrigue, sly correspondence, and the rest,

Are treason here; nay, they are so well forbidden,

That to conceal them is a breach of trust.

Give me thy word then, Frederick, that this portrait

Is not of any lady in my court,

I’ll ask no more.—But if she is of the court,

I’ll know who it is. Now speak, and quit thyself.

F.I will not say whether it is so or no.

D.That is confession. I must see the portrait.Ricardo, now thy judgment.

D.That is confession. I must see the portrait.

Ricardo, now thy judgment.

R.I fear, my lady,1910I have too short acquaintance with the rulesAppealed to; and if I offer you my judgmentBy such unwritten statutes as obtainIn the best circles that I know, for instance,The court of Milan....

R.I fear, my lady,

I have too short acquaintance with the rules

Appealed to; and if I offer you my judgment

By such unwritten statutes as obtain

In the best circles that I know, for instance,

The court of Milan....

D.What is the court of Milan?Are we not here at Belflor?—You know the rules,Laura; speak for me.

D.What is the court of Milan?

Are we not here at Belflor?—You know the rules,

Laura; speak for me.

L.He must shew the portrait.

(Coming forward to F.)

(Aside.) All’s lost unless I do it.(To F.)Sir, give it to me.Judgment hath gone against you. I can promiseNo eye shall learn thy secret but the Countess.1920To her ’tis due. So give her up the portrait.(Aside to F.) I will exchange them.—

(Aside.) All’s lost unless I do it.

(To F.)Sir, give it to me.

Judgment hath gone against you. I can promise

No eye shall learn thy secret but the Countess.

To her ’tis due. So give her up the portrait.

(Aside to F.) I will exchange them.—

F. gives L. the portrait: which the spectators see her exchange for another. She turns, and, going to D., presents her with that.

D.(taking). I thank thee, Laura; and now to learn the secret:Who is this wanton traitress? (Opens case.)Ah!—ha! ha!Impossible,—’tis true. Who would believe it?Why, friends, there is no secret after all:No lady,—’tis himself.—He carries a portrait of himself; himselfLeaning upon his elbow. Now, heaven save me!This I was told; but tho’my own eyes see it,1930I cannot credit it. O, gracious sir,I have wronged thee, and beg pardon. Yet, I think,Thou losest in acquittal. O Frederick, Frederick!Although thou art a poet, and mayst thinkThou hast a touch of rarer stuff, to make theeSelf-centred;—nay, tho’thou wert more than that,More than I ever thought thee....To carry thine own portrait! to have a pocketFor it! well, well! ’tis a fair picture enough,Not undeserving of its jewelled case.1940Poor little image! now I’m sorry for thee;Thou hast no lady-lover, but must liveIn thine own pocket, as it were.—Let me have thee,I’ll keep thee—may I not, Frederick?—a remembranceOf better hopes. Come, Laura: doth your poetCarry his portrait, too? He is distanced quite.

D.(taking). I thank thee, Laura; and now to learn the secret:

Who is this wanton traitress? (Opens case.)

Ah!—ha! ha!

Impossible,—’tis true. Who would believe it?

Why, friends, there is no secret after all:

No lady,—’tis himself.—

He carries a portrait of himself; himself

Leaning upon his elbow. Now, heaven save me!

This I was told; but tho’my own eyes see it,

I cannot credit it. O, gracious sir,

I have wronged thee, and beg pardon. Yet, I think,

Thou losest in acquittal. O Frederick, Frederick!

Although thou art a poet, and mayst think

Thou hast a touch of rarer stuff, to make thee

Self-centred;—nay, tho’thou wert more than that,

More than I ever thought thee....

To carry thine own portrait! to have a pocket

For it! well, well! ’tis a fair picture enough,

Not undeserving of its jewelled case.

Poor little image! now I’m sorry for thee;

Thou hast no lady-lover, but must live

In thine own pocket, as it were.—Let me have thee,

I’ll keep thee—may I not, Frederick?—a remembrance

Of better hopes. Come, Laura: doth your poet

Carry his portrait, too? He is distanced quite.

[Exit D. and L. with Flora.

F.By heaven, well saved!

R.What is’t? I understand not.’Twas your own portrait?

R.What is’t? I understand not.

’Twas your own portrait?

F.Yes; but that I hadWas Laura’s. She having mine, stepped in between,And interchanged them.

F.Yes; but that I had

Was Laura’s. She having mine, stepped in between,

And interchanged them.

R.I never saw it. Bravo!—most deftly done.

1951F.’Twas touch and go. That meddling devil, Tristram,He must have told her of it.

F.’Twas touch and go. That meddling devil, Tristram,

He must have told her of it.

Re-enter Laura.

L.The Countess, Frederick,Bids me return the portrait. You may dieTo look on it, she says,—here ’tis. (Giving her own.)

L.The Countess, Frederick,

Bids me return the portrait. You may die

To look on it, she says,—here ’tis. (Giving her own.)

F.Be sureThis is the right one. Well: she says not ill. (Kissing it.)

F.Be sure

This is the right one. Well: she says not ill. (Kissing it.)

L.I tremble still.

F.O, you did well.

L.To-nightBe in the park again—under my window—I am set to watch for you.

L.To-night

Be in the park again—under my window—

I am set to watch for you.

F.You!

L.Yes,—by Diana.Eleven,—I dare not stay. Farewell till then.[Exit.

L.Yes,—by Diana.

Eleven,—I dare not stay. Farewell till then.[Exit.

1960F.Well, there’s the end of it, Richard.

F.Well, there’s the end of it, Richard.

R.Yes: and ’tis plainShe never really loved you. Yet, if I am right,Here’s a new difficulty arisen. Diana,If she believes this nonsense, will no longerBe jealous for you; and I shall never manageTo get you off to Milan.

R.Yes: and ’tis plain

She never really loved you. Yet, if I am right,

Here’s a new difficulty arisen. Diana,

If she believes this nonsense, will no longer

Be jealous for you; and I shall never manage

To get you off to Milan.

F.’Tis worse than ever.What can we do?

F.’Tis worse than ever.

What can we do?

R.’Tis best I undeceive her,And set things as they were. Her jealousyIs ground to work on; but this fooleryIs bottomless.

R.’Tis best I undeceive her,

And set things as they were. Her jealousy

Is ground to work on; but this foolery

Is bottomless.

Re-enter Flora.

Fl.(to R.). Her ladyship has sentTo beg you await her, sir. She hath a matterTo speak of with you in private.

Fl.(to R.). Her ladyship has sent

To beg you await her, sir. She hath a matter

To speak of with you in private.

1970R.Bear my respectsBack to your mistress;—say I await her here.

R.Bear my respects

Back to your mistress;—say I await her here.

[Exit Flora.

See how I prosper. Get you gone, while IStep in your shoes.

See how I prosper. Get you gone, while I

Step in your shoes.

F.Richard, do not be rash:And if you find she is cured, leave well alone.

F.Richard, do not be rash:

And if you find she is cured, leave well alone.

R.Trust me: in serving you I serve myself.

[Exit F.

Diana hath not been honestly in love.If ’twere the virtual Frederick she adoredShe could not so mistake him. ’Tis but fancy,Which jealousy hath magnified to passion:1980And now she eyes him as the fox the grapes,And rather than be crossed, she’ll be persuadedThat he’s an idiot. That’s not honest love,—Fanciful consolations are the comfortOf fancied passion,—love needs better food.

Diana hath not been honestly in love.

If ’twere the virtual Frederick she adored

She could not so mistake him. ’Tis but fancy,

Which jealousy hath magnified to passion:

And now she eyes him as the fox the grapes,

And rather than be crossed, she’ll be persuaded

That he’s an idiot. That’s not honest love,—

Fanciful consolations are the comfort

Of fancied passion,—love needs better food.

Re-enter Diana.

D.How now, Ricardo? I have not done laughing yet.What of my ingenious secretary? I think’Tis well I trapped him: we might else have searchedFor a lady long enough.

D.How now, Ricardo? I have not done laughing yet.

What of my ingenious secretary? I think

’Tis well I trapped him: we might else have searched

For a lady long enough.

R.You are satisfiedBy this discovery?

R.You are satisfied

By this discovery?

D.Clearly; all is explained.1990I came to tell you the campaign is over.Finding there’s nought to seek, the search is ended.The wonder is, Tristram had solved the mystery,And told me; but I laughed.

D.Clearly; all is explained.

I came to tell you the campaign is over.

Finding there’s nought to seek, the search is ended.

The wonder is, Tristram had solved the mystery,

And told me; but I laughed.

R.Now you believe?

D.Ha! ha!

R.How you must now despise him!

D.I do, indeed.

R.You laugh. ’Tis strange that it should please you.

D.Ah!I laugh to think there was no cause for allMy....

D.Ah!

I laugh to think there was no cause for all

My....

R.Your....

D.My needless trouble, my anxiety.

R.Anxiety,—you mean, lest?...

D.For my maids.

R.(half-aside). Indeed!—indeed!

D.’Twas more than laughableTo see him; and you there with your face so grave.

D.’Twas more than laughable

To see him; and you there with your face so grave.

2001R.I thought you were deceived.

R.I thought you were deceived.

D.I was deceived,But now I understand.

D.I was deceived,

But now I understand.

R.Your ladyship,I think, is more mistaken now than ever.Frederick hath told me himself that he is in love;And that’s the truth, both likely, and well-confirmed,Even by the accident you set against it.You find on him a portrait of himselfSet in a jewelled case; just such a giftAs he might make to his lady. I know, from him,He hath her picture.

R.Your ladyship,

I think, is more mistaken now than ever.

Frederick hath told me himself that he is in love;

And that’s the truth, both likely, and well-confirmed,

Even by the accident you set against it.

You find on him a portrait of himself

Set in a jewelled case; just such a gift

As he might make to his lady. I know, from him,

He hath her picture.

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