Although yesterday was very cold and inclement, to-day (March 11th) is warm and pleasant, and bees that are wintered upon their summer stands will be upon the wing. It would be well on such days as this to see that all entrances to hives are open, so that no hindrances may be in the way of house-cleaning. This is all we think necessary for this month, provided they have plenty of stores to last until flowers bloom. Handling bees tends to excite them to brood rearing, and veterans in bee-culture claim that this uses up the vitality of bees in spring very fast. Although more young may be reared, it is at the risk of the old ones, as they leave the hive in search of water; many thus perish, which often results in the death of the colony, as the young perish for want of nurses. Sometimes, also, in handling bees early in the season the queens are lost, as they may fall upon the ground, yet chilled, and perish.
Bees consume food very fast while rearing brood; naturalists tells us that insects during the larvæ state consume more food than they do during the remainder of their existence. Where a bee-keeper has been so improvident as to neglect to provide abundance of stores for his bees he should examine them carefully, and if found wanting, remove an empty frame, substituting a full one in its place. Where frames of honey are not to be had, liquid honey and sugar can be kneaded together, forming cakes, which can be placed over the cluster. Care should be taken that no apertures are left, thus forming a way for cold drafts through the hive. These cakes are thought to excite bees less than when liquid food is given; they have another advantage, also, viz., bees can cluster upon them while[u]feeding, and do not get chilled.
Bees that have been wintered in cellars, or special repositories, are often injured by being removed too early to their summer stands. It would be better to let them remain, and lower the temperature during warm days with ice, until warm weather has come to stay. An aged veteran in Vermont that we visited the season following the disastrous winter of 1880-81, told us that his neighbors removed their bees from the cellar during a warm spell early in spring, and they were then in splendid condition. He let his bees remain until pollen was plentiful, and brought them out, all being in fine order; by this time his neighbors' colonies were all dead.
Good judgment and care must be exercised in removing bees from the cellar, or disastrous results will follow. We know of an apiary of over one hundred colonies that was badly injured, indeed nearly ruined, by all being taken from the cellar at once on a fine, warm day. The bees all poured out of the hives for a play spell, like children from school, and having been confined so long together in one apartment had acquired, in some measure, the same scent, and soon things were badly mixed. Some colonies swarmed, others caught the fever, and piled up together in a huge mass. This merry making may have been fun for the bees, but it was the reverse of this for the owner, as many queens were destroyed, and hives that were populous before were carried from the cellar and left without a bee to care for the unhatched brood.
When it is time to remove bees from the cellar the stands they are to occupy should be prepared beforehand. They should be higher at the back, inclining to the front; if the height of two bricks are at the back, one will answer for the front. This inclination to the front is an important matter; it facilitates the carrying out of dead bees and debris from the hive, the escape of moisture, and last, and most important item, bees will build their comb straight in the frame instead of crosswise of the hive, and their surplus comb in boxes correspondingly. If a few hives are removed near the close of the day and put in different parts of the apiary, the danger from swarming out is avoided, for the bees will become quiet before morning, and being far apart will not mix up when they have their play spell. The success of bee-keeping depends upon the faithful performance of infinite little items.
The many friends of the Rev. L. L. Langstroth will be pained to learn that he has a severe attack of his old malady and unable to do any mental work. May the Lord deal kindly and gently with him.
During the last fall and winter he has been the light of many conventions, and it will be remembered as a pleasant episode in the lives of many bee-keepers that they had the privilege of viewing his beaming countenance, hearing the words of wisdom as they escaped from his lips, and taking the hand of this truly great and good man.
Mrs. L. Harrison
A couple of copies ofThe Prairie Farmerhave lately come to my desk, a reminder of my boyhood days, when, in the old home with my father, I used to contribute an article now and then to its columns. There is an old scrap-book on the shelf, at my right, now, with some of those articles in it, published nearly thirty years ago. But my object in writing now is to add something to Mrs. Harrison's article on Extracted Honey. Last year my honey crop was about 3,000 pounds, and half of this was extracted, or slung honey, as we bee-keepers often call it; but for next year I have decided to raise nearly all comb honey, for the reason that I do not get customers so readily for extracted honey. I have never extracted until the honey was all, or nearly all, capped over, and then admitted air into the vessels holding it, so as to be absolutely sure of getting it "dry," and proof against souring. This method has given me about half the amount others obtained by extracting as soon as the combs were filled by the bees, and ripening afterward.
But in spite of all these precautions I find so much prejudice against extracted honey, growing out of the ignorance of the public with regard to this sweet, ignorance equaled only by the ignorance in regard to bees themselves, that the sale of such honey has been very slow; so slow that while my comb honey is reduced at this date to about 150 pounds, I have several ten-gallon kegs of pure white honey still on hand.
Especially is there a prejudice against candied honey, though that is an absolute test of purity, and it can be readily liquified, as Mrs. H. says, without injury. When I say that it is an absolute test of purity I mean that all honey that candies evenly is pure, though some of the best honey I have ever had never candied at all. In one case I knew the honey to candy in the combs of a new swarm early in autumn; but some seasons, particularly very dry ones, it will hardly candy at all. This difference seems to be due to the varying proportion of natural glucose, which will crystallize, and levulose, or mellose, which will not crystallize. Manufactured glucose will not crystallize; and some of our largest honey merchants, even the Thurbers, of New York, have mixed artificial glucose with honey to avoid loss by the ignorant prejudice of the public.
Wm. Camm.Morgan Co., Ill.
The bee-keepers met in Janesville, Wis., on the 4th inst., and organized a permanent society, to be known as the Southern Wisconsin Bee-keepers' Association. The following named persons were elected officers for the ensuing year: President, C. O. Shannon; Vice-President, Levi Fatzinger; Secretary, J. T. Pomeroy; Treasurer, W. S. Squire.
The regular sessions of the association will be held on the first Tuesday of March in each year. Special meetings will also be held, the time of which will be determined at previous meeting.
The object of the association is to promote scientific bee-culture, and form a bond of union among bee-keepers. Any person may become a member by signing the constitution, and paying a fee of fifty cents. The next meeting will be held at the Pember house, Janesville, on the first Tuesday in May at 10 o'clockA. M.All bee-keepers are cordially invited to attend. The Secretary, of Edgerton, Rock Co., Wis., will conduct the correspondence of the association.
The best variety of Prairie Wheat known. Yields largely and is less liable to blight than any other variety.
Also celebrated Judson Oats for sale in small lots.
Samples, statement of yield and prices sent free upon application to
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Agents wanted, to whom liberal inducements will be given. Address
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PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO.,Chicago. Ill.
MARSHALL M. KIRKMAN'S BOOKS ON RAILROAD TOPICS.
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The most promising field for men of talent and ambition at the present day is the railroad service. The pay is large in many instances, while the service is continuous and honorable. Most of our railroad men began life on the farm. Of this class is the author of the accompanying books descriptive of railway operations, who has been connected continuously with railroads as a subordinate and officer for 27 years. He was brought up on a farm, and began railroading as a lad at $7 per month. He has written a number of standard books on various topics connected with the organization, construction, management and policy of railroads. These books are of interest not only to railroad men but to the general reader as well. They are indispensable to the student. They present every phase of railroad life, and are written in an easy and simple style that both interests and instructs. The books are as follows:
Any of the above books will be sent post-paid on receipt of price, by
PRAIRIE FARMER PUBLISHING CO.,
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YOUcan secure a niceRUBBER GOSSAMER CIRCULAR, or a nice decoratedCHAMBER SET, or a nice importedGOLD BAND, orMOSS ROSE TEA SET, or a niceWHITE GRANITE DINNER SET FREE, in exchange for a few hours' time among your friends, getting up a little club order for our choiceTEAS, COFFEES, Etc., at much lower prices than stores sell them. We are the cheapest Tea House east of San Francisco. AGuaranteegiven to each Club member.Testimonialsand full particulars for getting up ClubsFREE. Write at once to the old reliableSAN FRANCISCO TEA CO., 1445 State St.,Chicago. Mention this paper.—A reliable firm—Editor.
CORN, GRASS, AND FRUIT FARMS BY ANDREWS & BABCOCK,Humboldt, Kan.Money Loaned netting investors 7 per cent. Write us.
Illustration: Silk Culture
In a private letter to the editor ofThe Prairie FarmerDr. L. S. Pennington, of Whiteside County, Illinois, says: "Many thanks for your instructive articles on Silk Culture. Could the many miles of Osage orange found in this State be utilized for this purpose, the industry would give employment to thousands of dependent women and children, by which means they could make themselves, at least in part, self-supporting. I hope that you will continue to publish and instruct your many readers on this subject."
Anent this subject we find the following by Prof. C. V. Riley in a late issue of the American Naturalist:
"There is a strong disposition on the part of those who look for making money by the propagation and sale of mulberry trees, to underrate the use of Osage orange as silk-worm food. We have thoroughly demonstrated, by the most careful tests, on several occasions, that when Maclura aurantiaca is properly used for this purpose, the resulting silk loses nothing in quantity or quality, and we have now a strain of Sericaria mori that has been fed upon the plant for twelve consecutive years without deterioration. There has been, perhaps, a slight loss of color which, if anything, must be looked upon as an advantage. It is more than likely, how ever, that the different races will differ in their adaptability to the Maclura, and that for the first year the sudden transition to Maclura from Morus, upon which the worms have been fed for centuries, may result in some depreciation. Mr. Virion des Lauriers, at the silk farm at Genito, has completed some experiments on the relative value of the two plants, which he details in the opening number of the Silk-Grower's Guide and Manufacturer's Gazette. Four varieties of worms were reared. The race known as the "Var" was fed throughout on mulberry leaves. The "Pyrenean" and "Cevennes" worms were fed throughout on leaves and branches of Osage orange, while the "Milanese" worms were fed on Maclura up to the second molt and then changed to mulberry leaves. At the close examples of each variety of cocoons were sent to the Secretary of the Silk Board at Lyons, and appraised by him The Maclura-fed cocoons were rated at 85 cents per pound, those raised partly on Osage and partly on mulberry at 95 cents per pound, and those fed entirely on mulberry at $1.11 per pound.
"This, Mr. des Lauriers thinks, seems to show that the difference between Maclura and Morus as silk-worm food is some 'twenty-five to thirty per cent in favor of the latter, while it is evident that the leaf of the Osage orange can be used with some advantage during the first two ages of the worms, thus allowing the mulberry tree to grow more leafy for feeding during the last three ages.' The experiment, although interesting, is not conclusive, from the simple fact that different races were used in the different tests and not the same races, so that the result may have been due, to a certain extent, to race and not to food."
A writer in an English medical journal declares that the raising of the head of the bed, by placing under each leg a block of the thickness of two bricks, is an effective remedy for cramps. Patients who have suffered at night, crying aloud with pain, have found this plan to afford immediate, certain, and permanent relief.
California stands fifth in the list of States in the manufacture of salt, and is the only State in the Union where the distillation of salt from sea water is carried on to any considerable extent. This industry has increased rapidly during the last twenty years. The production has risen from 44,000 bushels in 1860 to upwards of 880,000 bushels in 1883.
The amount of attention given to purely technical education in Saxony is shown by the fact that there are now in that kingdom the following schools: A technical high school in Dresden, a technical State institute at Chemnitz, and art schools in Dresden and Leipzig, also four builders' schools, two for the manufacture of toys, six for shipbuilders, three for basket weavers, and fourteen for lace making. Besides these there are the following trade schools supported by different trades, foundations, endowments, and districts: Two for decorative painting, one for watchmakers, one for sheet metal workers, three for musical instrument makers, one for druggists (not pharmacy), twenty-seven for weaving, one for machine embroidery, two for tailors, one for barbers and hairdressers, three for hand spinning, six for straw weaving, three for wood carving, four for steam boiler heating, six for female handiwork. There are, moreover, seventeen technical advanced schools, two for gardeners, eight agricultural, and twenty-six commercial schools.
The Patrie reports, with apparent faith, an invention of Dr. Raydt, of Hanover, who claims to have developed fully the utility of carbonic acid as a motive agent. Under the pressure of forty atmospheres this acid is reduced to a liquid state, and when the pressure is removed it evaporates and expands into a bulk 500 times as great as that it occupied before. It is by means of this double process that the Hanoverian chemist proposes to obtain such important benefits from the agent he employs. A quantity of the fluid is liquified, and then stowed away in strong metal receptacles, securely fastened and provided with a duct and valve. By opening the valve free passage is given to the gas, which escapes with great force, and may be used instead of steam for working in a piston. One of the principal uses to which it has been put is to act as a temporary motive power for fire engines. Iron cases of liquified carbonic acid are fitted on to the boiler of the machine, and are always ready for use, so that while steam is being got up, and the engines can not yet be regularly worked in the usual way, the piston valves can be supplied with acid gas. There is, however, another remarkable object to which the new agent can be directed, and to which it has been recently applied in some experiments conducted at Kiel. This is the floating of sunken vessels by means of artificial bladders. It has been found that a bladder or balloon of twenty feet diameter, filled with air, will raise a mass of over 100 tons. Hitherto these floats have been distended by pumping air into them through pipes from above by a cumbrous and tedious process, but Dr. Raydt merely affixes a sufficient number of his iron gas-accumulators to the necks of the floats to be used, and then by releasing the gas fills them at once with the contents.
THE DAVIS SWING CHURN.The Most Popular Churn on the Market.
Illustration: Swing Churn
Because it makes the most butter. Because no other Churn works so easy. Because it makes the best grained butter. Because it is the easiest cleaned. It has no floats or paddles inside. Also theEureka Butter Worker, theNesbitt Butter Printer, and a full line of Butter Making Utensils for Dairies and Factories. Send for Illustrated Circulars.
VERMONT FARM MACHINE CO.,Bellows Falls, Vt.
The Cooley Creamer
Illustration: Cooley Creamer
Saves in labor its entire cost every season. It will produce enough more money from the milk toPay for itself every 90 daysover and above any other method you can employ. Don't buy infringing cans from irresponsible dealers. By decision of the U. S. Court the Cooley is the only Creamer or Milk Can which can be used water sealed or submerged without infringement. Send for circular to
JOHN BOYD, Manufacturer,199 LAKE ST., CHICAGO, ILL.
GRATEFUL—COMFORTING.EPPS'S COCOA.BREAKFAST.
"By a thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition, and by a careful application of the fine properties of well-selected Cocoa, Mr. Epps has provided our breakfast tables with a delicately flavored beverage which may save us many heavy doctors' bills. It is by the judicious use of such articles of diet that a constitution may be gradually built up until strong enough to resist every tendency to disease. Hundreds of subtle[v]maladies are floating around us ready to attack wherever there is a weak point. We may escape many a fatal shaft by keeping ourselves well fortified with pure blood and a properly nourished frame."—Civil Service Gazette.
Made simply with boiling water or milk. Sold only in half-pound tins by Grocers, labeled thus:
JAMES EPPS & CO., Homœopathic Chemists,London, England.
When you write mention The Prairie Farmer.
3% LOANS,
For men of moderate means. Money loaned in any part of the country. Address, with 2-cent stamp.
MICHIGAN LOAN & PUB. CO.,Charlotte, Mich.
Illustration: Ring
This ElegantSolidPlain Ring, made ofHeavy 18k. Rolled Goldplate, packed in Velvet Casket, warranted5 years, post-paid.45c.,3for$1.25.50 Cards, "Beauties," all Gold, Silver, Roses, Lilies, Mottoes, &c., with name on,10c., 11 packs for a $1.00 bill and this Gold Ring FREE.
U. S. CARD CO., CENTERBROOK, CONN.
THE DINGEE & CONARD CO'SBEAUTIFUL EVER-BLOOMINGROSES
TheOnlyestablishmentmaking a SPECIAL BUSINESS of ROSES. 60 LARGE HOUSES for ROSES alone.WeGIVE AWAY, inPremiumsandExtras, moreROSESthan most establishments grow. Strong Pot Plants suitable for immediate bloom delivered safely, post-paid, to any post office.5splendid varieties,your choice, all labeled, for$1;12for$2;19for$3;26for$4;35for$5;75for$10;100for$13. OurNEW GUIDE,a complete Treatise on the Rose, 70 pp,elegantly illustratedFREE
THE DINGEE & CONARD CO.Rose Growers, West Grove, Chester Co., Pa.
Illustration: Trees
1884—SPRING—1884.
Now is the time to prepare your orders forNEWandRAREFruit and Ornamental
Shrubs, Evergreens,ROSES, VINES, ETC.
Besides many desirable Novelties; we offer the largest and most complete general Stock of Fruit and Ornamental Trees in the U. S. Abridged Catalogue mailed free. AddressELLWANGER & BARRY,
Mt. Hope Nurseries,Rochester, N. Y.
Illustration: Forest Trees
FOREST TREES.
Largest Stock in America.
Catalpa Speciosa, Box-Elder, Maple, Larch, Pine, Spruce, etc.
Forest and Evergreen Tree Seeds.
R. Douglas & Sons,WAUKEGAN, ILL.
EVERGREENS
For everybody. Nursery grown, all sizes from 6 inches to 6 feet. Also
EUROPEAN LARCH AND CATALPA
and a few of the Extra Early Illinois Potatoes. Price ListFREE. Address
D. HILL, Nurseryman, Dundee, Ill.
FOREST TREE SEEDS!
I offer a large stock of Walnuts, Butternuts, Ash, and Box Elder Seeds, suitable for planting. All the growth of 1883. I control the entire stock of the
SALOME APPLE,
a valuable, new, hardy variety. Also a general assortment of Nursery stock. Send for catalogue, circular, and price lists. Address
BRYANT'S NURSERY, Princeton, Ill.
SEED CORN.
Yellow and White Dent,Michigan Early Yellow Dent,Chester-White King Phillip,Yellow Yankee, Etc., Etc.
Also the Celebrated MURDOCK CORN.
L. B. FULLER & CO.,60 State St., Chicago.
CUTHBERT RASPBERRY PLANTS!
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L P. WHEELER, Quincy, Ill.
SPECIALTY FOR 1884.
200 bush. Onion sets, 20,000 Asparagus roots, Raspberry and Strawberry roots, and Champion Potatoes. Italian Bees a specialty. Send for price list for 1884.SEND EARLY TO A. J. NORRIS, Cedar Falls, Iowa.
ADescriptive, Illustrated Nursery Catalogue and Guide to the Fruit and Ornamental Planter. Sent free to all applicants.
WM. H. MOON,Morrisville, Bucks Co., Pa.
Illustration: Fruit Evaporator
CULLS ANDWINDFALLAPPLES
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When you write mention the Prairie Farmer.
Illustration: Ferry's Catalogue
Will be mailedFREE to allapplicants and to customers of last year without ordering it. It contains illustrations, prices, descriptions and directions for planting all Vegetable and Flower Seeds, Plants, etc.Invaluable to all.
D.M. FERRY & CO.DETROIT, Mich.
Illustration: Cabbage
J. B. ROOT & CO.'S
Illustr'd Garden Manual of VEGETABLE and FLOWER SEEDS, ready for all applicants.Market Gardeners
SEEDS
a Specialty. Write for Wholesale Price List.
Illustration: pointing handSENT FREEROCKFORD, ILLINOIS.
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NORTHFORD CARD CO., Northford, Conn.
ONION SEED FOR SALE.
Early Red Globe, Raised In 1883.
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NEW CHOICE VARIETIES OFSEED POTATOESA Specialty. Twenty-five kinds. Will not be under-sold. Satisfaction guaranteed.Send postal, with full address, for prices.BEN F. HOOVER, Galesburg, Illinois.
FOR SALEOne Hundred Bushels of Native Yellow Illinois Seed Corn, grown on my farm, gathered early and kept since in a dry room. Warranted to grow. Price $2 per bu. H.P. HUMPHREYS & SON, Sheffield, Ill.
MARYLAND FARMS.—Book and Mapfree, by C. E. SHANAHAN, Attorney, Easton, Md.
NOWIs the time to subscribe forThe Prairie Farmer. Price only $2.00 per year is worth double the money.
Illustration: Henderson ad
embraces every desirable Novelty of the season, as well as all standard kinds. A special feature for 1884 is, that you can for$5.00selectSeedsorPlantsto that value from their Catalogue, and have included, without charge, a copy of Peter Henderson's New Book, "Garden and Farm Topics," a work of 250 pages, handsomely bound in cloth, and containing a steel portrait of the author. The price of the book alone is $1.50.Catalogueof "Everything for the Garden," giving details, free on application.
PETER HENDERSON & CO.SEEDSMEN & FLORISTS,35 & 37 Cortlandt St., New York.
GARDEN SEEDS.
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SEED CORNthat I know will grow;White Beans, Oats, Potatoes, ONIONS, Cabbage, Mangel Wurzel, Carrots, Turnips, Parsnips, Celery, all of the best quality. Catalogue with directions of cultivation FREE.Illustration: pointing handSEEDS FOR THE CHILDREN'S GARDEN. 25 per cent. discount.Let the children send for my CatalogueAND TRY MY SEEDS.They are WARRANTED GOOD or money refunded.
Address JOSEPH HARRIS, Moreton Farm, Rochester, N.Y.
SEEDS
ALBERT DICKINSON,Dealer in Timothy, Clover, Flax, Hungarian, Millet, Red Top, Blue Grass, Lawn Grass, Orchard Grass, Bird Seeds, &c.POP CORN.
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Illustration: Household
For nothing lovelier can be foundIn woman than to studyhouseholdgood.—Milton.
Illustration: Household Line
The effect of foul air upon milk, cream, and butter was often alluded to at the Dairymen's meeting at DeKalb. A great bane to the dairyman is carbonic acid gas. In ill ventilated cellars it not only has a pernicious effect upon milk and its products, but it often renders the living apartments unhealthful, and brings disease and death to the family. In the course of the discussion Mr. W. D. Hoard, President of the Northwestern Dairymen's Association, related the following incident showing how easily cellars may be ventilated and rendered fit receptacles for articles of food:
"In the city of Fort Atkinson, where I do reside, Mr. Clapp, the president of the bank told me that for twenty years he had been unable to keep any milk or butter or common food of the family in the cellar. I went and looked at it, and saw gathered on the sleepers above large beads of moisture, and then knew what was the matter. The cellar was full of foul air. I said to him, 'Prof. Wilkins is here and will tell you in a few moments how to remedy this difficulty, and make your cellar a clean and wholesome apartment of your house.' I went down and got the professor, and he went up and looked at the cellar, and he says, 'for ten dollars I will put you in possession of a cellar that will be clean and wholesome.' He went to work and took a four-inch pipe, made of galvanized iron, soldered tightly at the joints, passing it down the side of the cellar wall until it came within two inches of the bottom of the cellar, turned a square elbow at the top of the wall, carried it under the house, under the kitchen, up through the kitchen floor and into the kitchen chimney, about four feet above where the kitchen stovepipe entered. You know the kitchen stove in all families is in operation about three times a day. The heat from this kitchen stove acting on the column of air in that little pipe caused a vacuum, and nature abhors a vacuum, and the result was that in twenty-four hours that little pipe had drawn the entire foul air out of the cellar, and he has now a perfect cellar. I drop this hint to show you that it is within easy reach of every one, for the sum of only about ten dollars, to have a perfectly ventilated cellar. This carbonic acid gas is very heavy. It collects in the cellar and you can not get it out unless you dip it out like water, or pump it out; and it becomes necessary to apply something to it that shall operate in this way."
This is a matter of such importance, and yet so little thought about, that we had designed having an illustration made to accompany this article, but conclude the arrangement[x]is so simple that any one can go to work and adapt it to the peculiar construction of his own house, and we hope thousands will make use of Mr. Hoard's suggestion.
As far as the nuptial ceremony itself was concerned, the Romans were in the habit of celebrating it with many imposing rites and customs, some of which are still in use in this country. As soon, therefore, as the sooth-sayer had taken the necessary omens, the ceremony was commenced by a sheep being sacrificed to Juno, under whose special guardianship marriage was supposed to rest. The fleece was next laid upon two chairs, on which the bride and bridegroom sat, over whom prayers were then said. At the conclusion of the service the bride was led by three young men to the home of her husband. She generally took with her a distaff and spindle filled with wool, indicative of the first work in her new married life—spinning fresh garments for her husband. Five torches were carried to light her.
The threshold of the house was gaily decorated with flowers and garlands; and in order to keep out infection it was anointed with certain unctuous perfumes[y]. As a preservative, moreover, against sorcery and evil influences, it was disenchanted by various charms. After being thus prepared, the bride was lifted over the threshold, it being considered unlucky for her to tread across it on first entering her husband's house. The musicians then struck up their music, and the company sang their "Epithalamium." The keys of the house were then placed in the young wife's hands, symbolic of her now being mistress. A cake, too, baked by the vestal virgins, which had been carried before her in the procession from the place of the marriage ceremony to the husband's home, was now divided among the guests. To enhance the merriment of the festive occasion, the bridegroom threw nuts among the boys, who then, as nowadays enjoyed heartily a grand scramble.
Once upon a time there lived a certain man and wife, and their name—well, I think it must have been Smith, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. One chilly day in October Mrs. Smith said to her husband: "John, I really think we must have the stove up in the sitting-room." And Mr. Smith from behind his newspaper answered "Well." Three hundred and forty-six times did Mr. and Mrs. Smith repeat this conversation, and the three hundred and forty-seventh time Mr. Smith added: "I'll get Brown to help me about it some day."
It is uncertain how long the matter would have rested thus, had not Mrs. Smith crossed the street and asked neighbor Brown to come over and help her husband set up a stove, and as she was not his wife he politely consented and came at once.
With a great deal of grunting, puffing, and banging, accompanied by some words not usually mentioned in polite society, the two men at last got the stove down from the attic. Mrs. Smith had placed the zinc in its proper position, and they put the stove way to one side of it, but of course that didn't matter.
Then they proceeded to put up the stovepipe. Mr. Smith pushed the knee into the chimney, and Mr. Brown fitted the upright part to the stove. The next thing was to get the two pieces to come together. They pushed and pulled, they yanked and wrenched, they rubbed off the blacking onto their hands, they uttered remarks, wise and otherwise.
Presently it occurred to Mr. Smith that a hammer was just the thing that was needed, and he went for one. Mr. Brown improved the opportunity to wipe the perspiration from his noble brow, totally oblivious of the fact that he thereby ornamented his severe countenance with several landscapes done in stove blacking. The hammer didn't seem to be just the thing that was needed, after all. Mr. Smith pounded until he had spoiled the shape of the stovepipe, and still the pesky thing wouldn't go in, so he became exasperated and threw away the hammer. It fell on Mr. Brown's toe, and that worthy man ejaculated—well, it's no matter what he ejaculated. Mr. Smith replied to his ejaculation, and then Mr. Brown went home.
Why continue the tale? Everybody knows that Mr. Smith, after making a great deal of commotion, finally succeeded in getting the pipe into place, that he was perfectly savage to everybody for the rest of the day, and that the next time he and Brown met on the street both were looking intently the other way.
But there is more to tell. It came to pass in the course of the winter that the pipe needed cleaning out. Mrs. Smith dreaded the ordeal, both for her own sake and her husband's. It happened that the kitchen was presided over by that rarest of treasures, a good-natured, competent hired girl. This divinity proposed that they dispense with Mr. Smith's help in cleaning out the pipe, and Mrs. Smith, with a sigh of relief, consented. They carefully pulled the pipe apart, and, holding the pieces in a horizontal position that no soot might fall on the carpet, carried it into the yard.
After they had swept out the pipe and carried it back they attempted to put it up. That must have been an unusually obstinate pipe, for it steadily refused to go together. The minds of Mrs. Smith and her housemaid were sufficiently broad to grasp this fact after a few trials; therefore they did not waste their strength in vain attempts, but rested, and in an exceedingly un-masculine way held a consultation. The girl went for a hammer, and brought also a bit of board. She placed this on the top of the pipe, raised her hammer, Mrs. Smith held the pipe in place below, two slight raps, and, lo, it was done.
See what a woman can do. This story is true, with the exception of the names and a few other unimportant items. I say, and will maintain it, that as a general thing a woman has more brains and patience and less stupidity than a man. I challenge any one to prove the contrary.—N. E. Homestead.
In the course of a lecture on the resources of New Brunswick, Professor Brown, of the Ontario Agricultural College, told the following story by an Arabian writer:
"I passed one day by a very rude and beautifully situated hamlet in a vast forest, and asked a savage whom I saw how long it had been there. 'It is indeed an old place,' replied he. 'We know it has stood there for 100 years as the hunting home of the great St. John, but how long previous to that we do not know.'
"One century afterward, as I passed by the same place, I found a busy little city reaching down to the sea, where ships were loading timber for distant lands. On asking one of the inhabitants how long this had flourished, he replied: 'I am looking to the future years, and not to what has gone past, and have no time to answer such questions.'
"On my return there 100 years afterward, I found a very smoky and wonderfully-populous city, with many tall chimneys, and asked one of the inhabitants how long it had been founded. 'It is indeed a mighty city,' replied he. 'We know not how long it has existed, and our ancestors there on this subject are as ignorant as ourselves.'
"Another century after that as I passed by the same place, I found a much greater city than before, but could not see the tall chimneys, and the air was pure as crystal; the country to the north and the east and the west, was covered with noble mansions and great farms, full of many cattle and sheep. I demanded of a peasant, who was reaping grain on the sands of the sea-shore, how long ago this change took place? 'In sooth, a strange question!' replied he. 'This ground and city have never been different from what you now behold them.' 'Were there not of old,' said I, 'many great manufacturers in this city?' 'Never,' answered he, 'so far as we have seen, and never did our fathers speak to us of any such.'
"On my return there, 100 years afterward, I found the city was built across the sea east-ward into the opposite country; there were no horses, and no smoke of any kind came from the dwellings.
"The inhabitants were traveling through the air on wires which stretched far into the country on every side, and the whole land was covered with many mighty trees and great vineyards, so that the noble mansions could not be seen for the magnitude of the fruit thereof.
"Lastly, on coming back again, after an equal lapse of time, I could not perceive the slightest vestige of the city. I inquired of a very old and saintly man, who appeared to be under deep emotion, and who stood alone upon the spot, how long it had been destroyed. 'Is this a question,' said he, 'from a man like you? Know ye not that cities are not now part of the human economy? Every one travels through the air on wings of electricity, and lives in separate dwellings scattered all over the land; the ships of the sea are driven by the same power, and go above or below as found to be best for them. In the cultivation of the soil,' said he, 'neither horse nor steam-power are employed; the plow is not known, nor are fertilizers of any more value in growing the crops of the field. Electricity is carried under the surface of every farm and all over-head like a net; when the inhabitants require rain for any particular purpose, it is drawn down from the heavens by similar means. The influence of electricity has destroyed all evil things, and removed all diseases from among men and beasts, and every living thing upon the earth. All things have changed, and what was once the noble city of my name is to become the great meeting place of all the leaders of science throughout the whole world.'"
"Yes," said Mrs. Gunkettle, as she spanked the baby in her calm, motherly way, "it's a perfect shame, Mr. G., that you never bring me home anything to read! I might as well be shut up in a lunatic asylum."
"I think so, too," responded the unfeeling man.
"Other people," continued Mrs.[z]Gunkettle, as she gave the baby a marble to swallow, to stop its noise, "have magazines till they can't rest."
"There's one," said Mr. G., throwing a pamphlet on the table.
"Oh, yes; a horrid old report of the fruit interests of Michigan; lots of news in that!" and she sat down on the baby with renewed vigor.
"I'm sure it's plum full of currant news of the latest dates," said the miserable man. Mrs. Gunkettle retorted that she wouldn't give a fig for a whole library of such reading, when 'apple-ly the baby shrieked loud enough to drown all other sounds, and peace was at once restored.
The following advertisement is copied from the Fairfield Gazette of September 21, 1786, or ninety-seven years ago, which paper was "printed in Fairfield by W. Miller and F. Fogrue, at their printing office near the meeting house."
Beards taken, taken of, and RegisturdbyISSAC FAC-TOTUMBarber, Peri-wig maker, Surgeon,Parish Clerk, School Master,Blacksmith and Man-midwife.
SHAVES for a penne, cuts hair for two pense, and oyld and powdird into the bargain. Young ladys genteeely Edicated; Lamps lited by the year or quarter. Young gentlemen also taut their Grammer langwage in the neatest manner, and great care takin of morels and spelin. Also Salme singing and horse Shewing by the real maker! Likewice makes and Mends, All Sorts of Butes and Shoes, teches the Ho! boy and Jewsharp, cuts corns, bleeds. On the lowes Term—Glisters and Pur is, at a peny a piece. Cow-tillions and other dances taut at hoam and abrode. Also deals holesale and retale—Pirfumerry in all its branchis. Sells all sorts of stationary wair, together with blacking balls, red herrins, ginger bread and coles, scrubbing brushes, trycle, Mouce traps, and other sweetemetes, Likewise. Red nuts, Tatoes, sassages and other gardin stuff.
P. T. I teches Joggrefy, and them outlandish kind of things——A bawl on Wednesday and Friday. All pirformed by Me.
ISAAC FAC-TOTUM.