THIRD DESPATCH.“SIRE,—At the ball, Musard, His Highness, came face to face with a Parisian lion. Contrary to all dramatic rules, instead of throwing himself into the prince’s arms, as a real lion would have done, the Parisian counterfeit almost fainted, but plucking up courage he had recourse to cunning, and by this talent, common to all low animals, wriggled out of the situation.“ ‘Sir,’ said your son, ‘how is it you take our name?’“ ‘Son of the desert,’ replied the child of Paris in a humble tone, ‘I have the honour of observing that you call yourselves lions. We have adopted your name.’“ ‘But,’ said His Highness, ‘what right have you, any more than a rat, to assume our name?’“ ‘The truth is we are like yourself, flesh eaters, only we eat our flesh cooked, you eat yours raw. Do you wear rings?’“ ‘That is not the question.’“ ‘Well then,’ continued the Parisian fraud, ‘let us reason, and clear the matter up. Do you use four different brushes; one for the hair, another for the hands, a third for the nails, and a fourth for the skin? Have you nail scissors, moustache scissors? Seven different sorts of perfume? Do you pay a man so much a month for trimming your corns? Perhaps you do not know what a chiropodist is. You have no corns, and yet you ask me why we are called lions. I will tell you why. We mount horses, write romances, exaggerate the fashions, strut about, and are the best fellows in the world. You are happy having no tailor’s bill to pay.’“ ‘No,’ said the prince of the desert.“ ‘Well then, what is there in common between us? Do you know how to drive a tilbury?’“ ‘No.’“ ‘Thus you see the strong points in our character are quite different from yours. Do you play whist, or frequent the Jockey Club?’“ ‘No,’ said the prince.“ ‘Well, your Highness, with us whist and the club are everything.’“This polite nonsense became so aggravating that His Highnessreplied—“ ‘Do you, sir, deny that you had me shut up?’“ ‘I had not the power to shut you up. It was the government. I am not the government.’“ ‘Why did the government impose on His Highness?’ I inquired.“ ‘Exactly,’ replied the Parisian. ‘Why? hem! the governmenttakes no notice of popular whys and wherefores, it has its own political reasons for action, which are never divulged.’“On hearing this, the prince was so utterly astounded that he fell on all fours. The Parisian lion, profiting by the prince’s blind rage, saluted His Highness, turned a pirouette, and escaped.“Your august son, deeming it wise to leave men alone to enjoy their illusions—the gilded toys, the pomp and tinsel, the borrowed names and nameless follies which make up the happiness and misery of their existence—prepared to quit Paris. A few days later one read in the ‘Semiphone’ ofMarseilles—“ ‘Prince Leo passed here yesterdayen routefor Toulon, where he embarked for Africa. The news of his father’s death is assigned as the reason of his sudden departure.’“Tardy justice too often yields its tribute to greatness after death. This trustworthy organ even gave a picture of the consternation which your Majesty’s untimely end spread through Leona. ‘The agitation is so great, that a general rising is feared, and a massacre of the ancient enemies of the crown. It is asserted that the Dog, the prince’s guide and interpreter, was present when His Highness received the fatal news, and bestowed the following advice, so characteristic of the utter demoralisation of the dogs of Paris: Prince Leo, if you cannot save all,save the treasury!’ ”
“SIRE,—At the ball, Musard, His Highness, came face to face with a Parisian lion. Contrary to all dramatic rules, instead of throwing himself into the prince’s arms, as a real lion would have done, the Parisian counterfeit almost fainted, but plucking up courage he had recourse to cunning, and by this talent, common to all low animals, wriggled out of the situation.
“ ‘Sir,’ said your son, ‘how is it you take our name?’
“ ‘Son of the desert,’ replied the child of Paris in a humble tone, ‘I have the honour of observing that you call yourselves lions. We have adopted your name.’
“ ‘But,’ said His Highness, ‘what right have you, any more than a rat, to assume our name?’
“ ‘The truth is we are like yourself, flesh eaters, only we eat our flesh cooked, you eat yours raw. Do you wear rings?’
“ ‘That is not the question.’
“ ‘Well then,’ continued the Parisian fraud, ‘let us reason, and clear the matter up. Do you use four different brushes; one for the hair, another for the hands, a third for the nails, and a fourth for the skin? Have you nail scissors, moustache scissors? Seven different sorts of perfume? Do you pay a man so much a month for trimming your corns? Perhaps you do not know what a chiropodist is. You have no corns, and yet you ask me why we are called lions. I will tell you why. We mount horses, write romances, exaggerate the fashions, strut about, and are the best fellows in the world. You are happy having no tailor’s bill to pay.’
“ ‘No,’ said the prince of the desert.
“ ‘Well then, what is there in common between us? Do you know how to drive a tilbury?’
“ ‘No.’
“ ‘Thus you see the strong points in our character are quite different from yours. Do you play whist, or frequent the Jockey Club?’
“ ‘No,’ said the prince.
“ ‘Well, your Highness, with us whist and the club are everything.’
“This polite nonsense became so aggravating that His Highnessreplied—
“ ‘Do you, sir, deny that you had me shut up?’
“ ‘I had not the power to shut you up. It was the government. I am not the government.’
“ ‘Why did the government impose on His Highness?’ I inquired.
“ ‘Exactly,’ replied the Parisian. ‘Why? hem! the governmenttakes no notice of popular whys and wherefores, it has its own political reasons for action, which are never divulged.’
“On hearing this, the prince was so utterly astounded that he fell on all fours. The Parisian lion, profiting by the prince’s blind rage, saluted His Highness, turned a pirouette, and escaped.
“Your august son, deeming it wise to leave men alone to enjoy their illusions—the gilded toys, the pomp and tinsel, the borrowed names and nameless follies which make up the happiness and misery of their existence—prepared to quit Paris. A few days later one read in the ‘Semiphone’ ofMarseilles—
“ ‘Prince Leo passed here yesterdayen routefor Toulon, where he embarked for Africa. The news of his father’s death is assigned as the reason of his sudden departure.’
“Tardy justice too often yields its tribute to greatness after death. This trustworthy organ even gave a picture of the consternation which your Majesty’s untimely end spread through Leona. ‘The agitation is so great, that a general rising is feared, and a massacre of the ancient enemies of the crown. It is asserted that the Dog, the prince’s guide and interpreter, was present when His Highness received the fatal news, and bestowed the following advice, so characteristic of the utter demoralisation of the dogs of Paris: Prince Leo, if you cannot save all,save the treasury!’ ”