Shade of Sheridan.Shade of Sheridan."William Farren, my old friend, I congratulate you: and I suspect that in the present generation I owe you much."Sir William Peter Farren Teazle."Not more than I do you, Mr. Sheridan. Let us say, mutually indebted."[They exchange snuff-pinches.
Shade of Sheridan."William Farren, my old friend, I congratulate you: and I suspect that in the present generation I owe you much."
Sir William Peter Farren Teazle."Not more than I do you, Mr. Sheridan. Let us say, mutually indebted."
[They exchange snuff-pinches.
In the Screen Scene when "discovered," MissRehan'sattitude is eloquent; and on this tableau I have always thought the curtain should descend, as all after this, evenSir Peter'sexit with "damn your sentiments," good as it is, is an anti-climax. I should prefer that MissRehan'sLady Teazleshould be silent, or if it must be played as written, then here of all situations in the comedy would I insist upon her emphasising the perfectly natural manner of the unaffected country girl, instead of addressing SirPeterin the deep tones of a tragedian, as if attempting a mere theatrical effect. In the last Act, as arranged, she appears to have done with her town airs and graces for ever, and, wearing a queer sort of mob-cap, enters onSir Peter'sarm, ready with him to face the ridicule, the satire, and the scandal of their world.
MissVanbrughmakes a delightfulLady Sneerwell, and Mrs.Gilberta dear oldMrs. Candour, who would spitefully gossip about her neighbours for hours together.Mariais almost always a thankless part, and MissPercy Haswellleaves no doubt on the mind of the audience of her being a poor orphan of some six months' standing. The part ofMosesoffers very little scope to Mr.James Lewis, especially as the celebrated "I'll take my oath of that" is cut out, and some lines are introduced, which being quite un-Sheridanesque and un-Mosaic do not in the least assist the character. However, as he is much slapped on the back, dug in the ribs, and generally treated as a butt byCharlesandCareless(who, by the way, gives"Here's to the Maiden"in first-rate style), Mr.Lewismay be congratulated on getting to the end of his impersonation of one of the long-suffering tribe in perfect safety. Mr.Bourchier'sCharlesgoes well with the audience; but Mr.George Clarkeis too conscientious, and too impressed with a sense of the horrible scoundrelism ofJoseph'scharacter to be ever really at home in so uncongenial a part.
Lady Ada Rehan Teazle.Lady Ada Rehan Teazle."In for some sort of a run"—at Daly's.
Lady Ada Rehan Teazle.
"In for some sort of a run"—at Daly's.
For the re-arrangement, much may be said "for," and more "against." There is only one point that strikes me as absolutely inartistic, and that is, makingSir Petergive his explanatory speech about his wifeafterwe have seen her, instead of leaving it in its proper place, asSheridanwrote it, where it serves as a prologue to the subsequent scene betweenSir PeterandLady Teazle, when she appears for the first time in the comedy.
There are some curious oversights in the scenic arrangements at Daly's. The first is inCharles Surface'spicture gallery,which has no windows and no skylight. The second is that thoughCharleshas sold all his books, yet through the door of the picture-room are seen the first shelves of an evidently well-stocked library. The third oversight is inJoseph'schambers, described in the original play as "a library in Joseph Surface's house," where, when he tellsSir Peterthat "books are the only things I am a coxcomb in," there are only a very few volumes to be seen, and these are lying at haphazard on a table.
To revert for a moment toCharles Surface'swindowless and skylightless picture gallery, the scene takes place in the evening, after dinner, or supper, and how is the huge apartment lighted? Why, by a couple of ordinary candles placed on a side-table, while on the mantelpiece at the back remain a couple of silver candelabra, filled with candles which remain all the time unlighted. Why, naturally, the company would have been in darkness, but not a bit of it, for these two candles do give so preternaturally wonderful an illumination, that the stage is as bright as a sunlighted garden at noonday in July. The company that could produce such candles would make a fortune by their patent. The dance at the end of the first Act brings down the curtain to enthusiastic applause, and, to the end, the old comedy, in spite of various chops and changes, holds its own, as it ever will do, triumphantly.
Father Christmasis already sending out his Cards for the Coming Festivity, now six weeks ahead. His representatives all "decorated," and still ready to receive any amount of "orders," areMarcus Ward, theRaphael Tuckfamily,C. W. Faulkner,C. Delgado, and many others, whose excellent works are known to all, and by none more appreciated than by the youthful Baronites and Baronitesses.
"Blackie and Son!" says a Junior Baronite; "why, that must he the publishers of Christy Minstrel works!" but they are soon undeceived. Such delightful books! their very bindings are suggestive of cheerfulness, and seem to invite inspection. We will take a peep inside, like Jack Horner, and pull out the best plummed story. Three byG. A. Henty, who knows how and what to write for youths of adventurous spirit. His three are:—
Through the Sikh War.Indian affairs are always of interest to the young Britisher, "who will," quoth the little Baronite, "seekand find all he wants in this book."
St. Bartholomew's Evemight be a tale of curiosity, but it is history, and deals with the valour of an English boy during the Huguenot Wars. Being a hero, he does not get killed in the massacre, but lives to fight another day.
A Jacobite Exileis a tale of the Swedes. Hardly necessary, perhaps, or asShakspeareputs it, "Swedes to the Swede,—superfluous." To the English reader, therefore, it is not a superfluity.
Then here is ThePenny Illustrated. It is called "Roses" and whatever any reader may require, here he will find it "all among the roses." The rearer and cultivator of these "Roses" isJohn Latey, whose "Rose of Hastings" is among the best of the contributions. "We can't do better than provide ourselves and our families with this specimen of a Flowery Annual," quoth,
The Baron de Book-Worms.
A NEW ADJECTIVE.A NEW ADJECTIVE.Customer."You'll find I measure a bit more round the waist than I did last time you took my measure."Tailor."Ah, well, Sir, if I may be allowed to say so, youarea trifle more—ah—moreLobengulousthan formerly."
Customer."You'll find I measure a bit more round the waist than I did last time you took my measure."
Tailor."Ah, well, Sir, if I may be allowed to say so, youarea trifle more—ah—moreLobengulousthan formerly."
["The descendants of man will nourish themselves by immersion in nutritive fluid. They will have enormous brains, liquid, soulful eyes, and large hands, on which they will hop. No craggy nose will they have, no vestigial ears; their mouths will be a small, perfectly round aperture, unanimal, like the evening star. Their whole muscular system will be shrivelled to nothing, a dangling pendant to their minds."—Pall Mall Gazette, abridged.]
["The descendants of man will nourish themselves by immersion in nutritive fluid. They will have enormous brains, liquid, soulful eyes, and large hands, on which they will hop. No craggy nose will they have, no vestigial ears; their mouths will be a small, perfectly round aperture, unanimal, like the evening star. Their whole muscular system will be shrivelled to nothing, a dangling pendant to their minds."—Pall Mall Gazette, abridged.]
What, a million years hence, will become of theGenusHumanum, is truly a question vexed;At that epoch, however,oneprophet has seen usResemble the sketch annexed.For as Man undergoes Evolution ruthless,His skull will grow "dome-like, bald, terete";And his mouth will be jawless, gumless, toothless—No more will he drink or eat!He will soak in a crystalline bath of pepsine,(NoRobertwill then have survived, to wait,)And he'll hop on his hands as his food he steps in—A quasi-cherubic gait!No longer the land or the sea he'll furrow;The world will be withered, ice-cold, deadAs the chill of Eternity grows, he'll burrowFar down underground instead.If thePall Mall Gazettehas thus been givingA forecast correct of this change immense,Our stars we may thank, then, thatweshan't be livingA million years from hence!
What, a million years hence, will become of theGenusHumanum, is truly a question vexed;At that epoch, however,oneprophet has seen usResemble the sketch annexed.
What, a million years hence, will become of theGenus
Humanum, is truly a question vexed;
At that epoch, however,oneprophet has seen us
Resemble the sketch annexed.
For as Man undergoes Evolution ruthless,His skull will grow "dome-like, bald, terete";And his mouth will be jawless, gumless, toothless—No more will he drink or eat!
For as Man undergoes Evolution ruthless,
His skull will grow "dome-like, bald, terete";
And his mouth will be jawless, gumless, toothless—
No more will he drink or eat!
He will soak in a crystalline bath of pepsine,(NoRobertwill then have survived, to wait,)And he'll hop on his hands as his food he steps in—A quasi-cherubic gait!
He will soak in a crystalline bath of pepsine,
(NoRobertwill then have survived, to wait,)
And he'll hop on his hands as his food he steps in—
A quasi-cherubic gait!
No longer the land or the sea he'll furrow;The world will be withered, ice-cold, deadAs the chill of Eternity grows, he'll burrowFar down underground instead.
No longer the land or the sea he'll furrow;
The world will be withered, ice-cold, dead
As the chill of Eternity grows, he'll burrow
Far down underground instead.
If thePall Mall Gazettehas thus been givingA forecast correct of this change immense,Our stars we may thank, then, thatweshan't be livingA million years from hence!
If thePall Mall Gazettehas thus been giving
A forecast correct of this change immense,
Our stars we may thank, then, thatweshan't be living
A million years from hence!
One Down t'other Come On.—King Log is a most useful substitute when King Coal has temporarily abdicated.
House of Commons, Monday, November 13.—Tomlinsonhas for some time observed with deepening disfavour his position in House as affected by, and compared with, that of his friend and companion dear,Tomasso Bowles.Tommy, to drop into the affectionate diminutive, is a mere child compared with him. He is but the birth of the last General Election; whilst for thirteen years this very monthTomlinsonhas presented at Westminster Preston's idea of the highest form of culture and intelligence.
Employers' Liability Bill offered opportunity for coming to front; not that either as Employer or EmployedTomlinsonhas any special knowledge on subject. But he sees as clearly into its bearings as he does through the average Lancashire stone wall. Awake at nights drafting new Clauses that should baffleAsquithand make theSquire of Malwoodsit up. Looked most imposing on paper. Thought at one time of posting copy to every elector of Preston, so that he might see what a power in Senate is the borough Member. Wouldn't cost so much since, posted at House of Commons in official wrapper, they might go free. Still there would be remarks made ifTomlinsondrove into Palace Yard enthroned on top of waggon containing 15,959 addressed copies of Amendments to Employers' Liability Bill. Gave up idea. Electors must buy the papers where, in Parliamentary reports, they would read voluminous digests of his speeches.
Began soon after House took up Bill this afternoon. First group of Amendments covered folio page of print. Read admirably; if it had not been usual for Member in charge of new Clause to explain to House its object and effect in operation success would have been assured. Here's whereTomlinsoncame to grief; talked for some time; House listened at first, honestly intent upon considering project, whatever it might he. Effect ofTomlinson'sspeech not elucidatory. The more he talked the more hopeless the muddle. When he sat down anguished listeners not quite sure whether he had (1) moved the Clause, (2) proposed to withdraw it, or (3) suggested that a more convenient place for insertion would he found later on. Fortunately new Clause in print among Amendments. ThatAsquithshould decline to have anything to do with it natural enough. Saddest of all befel when from his own side of HouseRollitbluntly denounced Clause,Carsonhoped it wouldn't be pressed, andHenry James, from allied camp opposite, demolished it with final shot.
THE HOME SECRETARY'S SAFETY-VALVE.THE HOME SECRETARY'S SAFETY-VALVE. TRAFALGAR SQUARE OF THE FUTURE.
This not encouraging, but there were other Amendments standing in his name of which something must be said.Tomlinsonrose when called on, but gratefully sat down when greeted with mirthful cries for division. Only gleam of comfort in sorrowful night was whenTommy Bowles, rushing in whence he had retreated, called down on himselfSpeaker'sstern commentary that his remarks were "quite irrelevant."
Business done.—Report Stage of Employers' Liability Bill.
Tuesday.—To casual observer there is nothing in personal appearance ofUghtred Kay-Shuttleworthsuggestive of the Tartar. Yet to-night SirEllis Ashmead Bart(lett), going a hunting on the Treasury Bench preserves, bagged Secretary to Admiralty and found he had caught a Tartar.Ashmead, in his self-asserted character ofBritannia'sConfidential Clerk, tried to drawUghtredon subject of Naval Scare.Shuttleworth, with manner that combined severity of a magistrate with benignity of a dean, managed to presentAshmeadin aspect of fussy person who, having had some official knowledge, in whatever subordinate position, ought to have been able to restrain the self-assertiveness that led him to put such a question. House, which does not do credit to TheBart(lett)'smany sterling qualities, roared with delight. Stung to quick,Ashmeadup again; shouted across table, "I ask the right hon. gentleman whether he can give me any evidence of his being alive——" House, struck with evidence to that effect just given, broke in with fresh roar of laughter.Ashmeadstood glaring round at merry circle. When noise subsided, continued: "——any evidence of his being alive to the importance of his duties?" More laughter.Ashmeadappealed toSpeakerto reprimandKay-Shuttleworth. Speaker justified Minister's action. One more attempt; one more rebuff; andAshmeadsubsided for the night, not quite sure after all that silence isn't golden. At least it used to bring in £1000 a year.
Business done.—A good deal with the Employers' Liability Bill.
Tommy Bowles and the Pilot.Tommy Bowles and the Pilot.
Tommy Bowles and the Pilot.
Wednesday.—Another quiet sitting with Employers' Liability Bill. Cap'enTommy Bowles, respectfully removing his tarpaulin, and shifting his quid, relieved dullness of afternoon by some capital yarns. One drew a vivid picture of dangers that lurk behind the casual pilot. On a dark night in midsummer Cap'enTommy, a-sailing down the coast of Barbaree, came upon what looked like a town. Turned out to be Algiers; hauled down his main yard; ran out the topgallantsail spanker, and bore down on the harbour. Just as he was entering was boarded by pilot.
"Sheer off!" saysTommythrough his polyglot speaking-trumpet. "Don't want your help; know every rock and shoal on the coast; will take the ship in myself."
Pilot produced from lining at back of his trousers Code of Regulations; this set forth that pilot was compulsory. Nothing to do but submit, unless he would involve Great Britain in war. Pilot came aboard; took charge; forged ahead; just going to run ship on breakwater whenTommy'skeen eye perceived danger.
"Sir," said the only Member of House of Commons who, sinceBig Ben'sdeath, holds a sea captain's certificate, "I took my ship out of the pilot's hand, and brought her in safely."
House uproariously cheered, andFrank Lockwoodwent off and drew a sketch of the historical scene.
Business done.—More of Employers' Liability Bill.
Thursday.—Government in difficulties to-night.Cherchez la femme.Walter M'Larenhad her in charge; a modest little thing, merely asking that women, whether married or single, should be enabled to vote at election of Parish Councils. House not very full; no danger anticipated; but Conservatives joined their forces with Radicals below gangway, and before Ministers quite knew where they were they found themselves in minority of twenty-one.
"Winged!" cried AdmiralBorthwick. "TheFowlerwent out shooting, and comes home shot."
'Winged!'"Winged!"
"Winged!"
Suggestion made that Government should resign; Mr. G. only smiled.
Spiteful little thingRentoulsaid just now. Supporting amendment to Employers' Liability Bill he remarked "Gentlemen who sit on this side of the House are in favour of the amendment; gentlemen who sit on the other side of the House equally approve it; whilst SirAlbert Rollit, who sits on every side of the House, does not object to it."
Business done.—Employers' Liability Bill reported; Government defeated; got into Committee on Parish Councils Bill.
Friday.—Rather painful scene to-night betweenSydney BuxtonandSage of Queen Anne's Gate.Sage, ever thirsting for knowledge, wanted to know much about Matabeleland. Drafted a long string of questions addressed to Under Secretary for Colonies.
"Unfounded assumptions,"Buxton, in the pride of office, characterised these simple interrogatories. TheSage, insatiable for information, desires to have the unfounded assumptions particularised.Buxtonreferred Members to the question.
"But why," asked theSage, with tremble and pathos in his voice, "did you call them unfounded assumptions?"
Affected by this spectacle of genuine emotion,Buxtonproposed to substitute for the obnoxious word milder form "unproved."
"Yes," said theSage, sticking to his point; "but you said unfounded." No useBuxtonattempting to deny this; lapsed intoembarrassedsilence; probably will be more careful in future.
Business done.—Very little of Parish Councils Bill.
[We are informed that PrinceLucien Bonaparte'sunique library of some 25,000 volumes, included "a complete set ofPunch" preserved presumably by the Prince for the specimens of "Cockney dialect which it contains."]
[We are informed that PrinceLucien Bonaparte'sunique library of some 25,000 volumes, included "a complete set ofPunch" preserved presumably by the Prince for the specimens of "Cockney dialect which it contains."]
Jest fancy a PrinceBonypartysech nuts upon patter and slang!Proves a Prince may be fly to wot's wot, and of chat asischat 'ave the 'ang.Lor bless yer, thisLucyun,'eknowed all the cackles as ever was chinned.I'll wager as'ewos aweer as a Billingsgit Pheasant isfinned!He'd gotSolomon'ssong in Tyke lingo! A pity 'e didn't knowme!I'd ha' run it off into back slang, and ha' done it most willing and free.'Cos a Prince and a Frenchy at that, as appreshiatesPunch,andmy patter,Is a precious sight smarter than some "Cockney" criticks, and that's wot's the matter!So bully for PrinceBonyparty! When weighed in 'e's well hup to scale;Andifthem books come to the 'ammer, wy'Arrymeans seeing the sale!
Jest fancy a PrinceBonypartysech nuts upon patter and slang!Proves a Prince may be fly to wot's wot, and of chat asischat 'ave the 'ang.Lor bless yer, thisLucyun,'eknowed all the cackles as ever was chinned.I'll wager as'ewos aweer as a Billingsgit Pheasant isfinned!He'd gotSolomon'ssong in Tyke lingo! A pity 'e didn't knowme!I'd ha' run it off into back slang, and ha' done it most willing and free.'Cos a Prince and a Frenchy at that, as appreshiatesPunch,andmy patter,Is a precious sight smarter than some "Cockney" criticks, and that's wot's the matter!So bully for PrinceBonyparty! When weighed in 'e's well hup to scale;Andifthem books come to the 'ammer, wy'Arrymeans seeing the sale!
Jest fancy a PrinceBonypartysech nuts upon patter and slang!
Proves a Prince may be fly to wot's wot, and of chat asischat 'ave the 'ang.
Lor bless yer, thisLucyun,'eknowed all the cackles as ever was chinned.
I'll wager as'ewos aweer as a Billingsgit Pheasant isfinned!
He'd gotSolomon'ssong in Tyke lingo! A pity 'e didn't knowme!
I'd ha' run it off into back slang, and ha' done it most willing and free.
'Cos a Prince and a Frenchy at that, as appreshiatesPunch,andmy patter,
Is a precious sight smarter than some "Cockney" criticks, and that's wot's the matter!
So bully for PrinceBonyparty! When weighed in 'e's well hup to scale;
Andifthem books come to the 'ammer, wy'Arrymeans seeing the sale!
The correction listed below is also indicated in the text by a dashed line at the appropriate place:Move the mouse over the word, and the original textappears.
Page 252: 'embarassed' corrected to 'embarrassed'.
"... lapsed into embarrassed silence;"