“To the last a renegade.”22. “Siege of Corinth.”
“To the last a renegade.”22. “Siege of Corinth.”
“To the last a renegade.”22. “Siege of Corinth.”
Who that possesses the least reflection ever visited a police-office without feeling how intimately it was connected with the cook-shop! The victims to the intoxicating qualities of pickled salmon, oyster-sauce, and lobster salad, are innumerable; for where one gentleman or lady pleads guilty to too much wine, a thousand extenuate on the score of indigestion. We are aware that the disorganisation of the digestive powers is very prevalent—about one or two in the morning—and we have no doubt the Conservative friends of Captain Rous, who patriotically contributed five shillings each to the Queen, and one gentleman (a chum of our own at Cheam, if we mistake not) a sovereign to the poor-box, were all doubtlessly suffering from this cause, combined with their enthusiasm for the gallant Rous, and—proh pudor!—Burdett.
How much, then, are we indebted to our cooks! those perspiring professors of gastronomy and their valuable assistants—the industrious scullery-maids. Let not the Melbourne opposition to this meritorious class, be supported by the nation at large; for England would soon cease to occupy her present proud pre-eminence, did her rulers, her patriots, and her heroes, sit down to cold mutton, or the villanously dressed “joints ready from 12 to 5.” Justice is said to be the foundation of all national prosperity—we contend that it is repletion—that Mr. Toole, the toast-master, is the only embodiment of fame, and that true glory consists of a gratuitous participation in “Three courses and a dessert!”
Great Bulwer’s works fell on Miss Basbleu’s head.And, in a moment, lo! the maid was dead!A jury sat, and found the verdict plain—“She died ofmilkandwater on the brain.”
Great Bulwer’s works fell on Miss Basbleu’s head.And, in a moment, lo! the maid was dead!A jury sat, and found the verdict plain—“She died ofmilkandwater on the brain.”
Great Bulwer’s works fell on Miss Basbleu’s head.
And, in a moment, lo! the maid was dead!
A jury sat, and found the verdict plain—
“She died ofmilkandwater on the brain.”
[pg 79]
A man gives a smaller man a haircut.TRIMMING A W(H)IG.
TRIMMING A W(H)IG.
[pg 81]
[The bronze statue of Napoleon which was last placed on the summit of the grand column at Boulogne with extraordinary ceremony, has been turned, by design or accident, with its back to England.]
Upon its lofty column’s stand,Napoleon takes his place;His back still turned upon that landThat never saw his face.
Upon its lofty column’s stand,Napoleon takes his place;His back still turned upon that landThat never saw his face.
Upon its lofty column’s stand,
Napoleon takes his place;
His back still turned upon that land
That never saw his face.
The letters V.P.W. scratched by some person on the brow of the statue of Napoleon while it lay on the ground beside the column, which were supposed to stand for the insulting wordsVaincu par Wellington, have given great offence to the French. We have authority for contradicting this unjust explanation. The letters are the work of an ambitious Common Councilman of Portsoken Ward, who, wishing to associate himself with the great Napoleon, scratched on the bronze the initials of his name—V.P.W.—VILLIAM PAUL WENABLES.
“O fly with me, lady, my gallantdestrereIs as true as the brand by my side;Through flood and o’er moorland his master he’ll bear,With the maiden he seeks for a bride.”This, this was the theme of the troubadour’s lay,And thus did the lady reply:—“Sir knight, ere I trust thee, look hither and say,Do you see any green in my eye?”“O, doubt me not, lady, my lance shall maintainThat thou’rt peerless in beauty and fame;And the bravest should eat of the dust of the plain,Who would quaff not a cup to thy name.”“I doubt not thy prowess in list or in fray,For none dare thy courage belie;And I’ll trust thee, though kindred and priest say me nay—When you see any green in my eye!”
“O fly with me, lady, my gallantdestrereIs as true as the brand by my side;Through flood and o’er moorland his master he’ll bear,With the maiden he seeks for a bride.”This, this was the theme of the troubadour’s lay,And thus did the lady reply:—“Sir knight, ere I trust thee, look hither and say,Do you see any green in my eye?”
“O fly with me, lady, my gallantdestrere
Is as true as the brand by my side;
Through flood and o’er moorland his master he’ll bear,
With the maiden he seeks for a bride.”
This, this was the theme of the troubadour’s lay,
And thus did the lady reply:—
“Sir knight, ere I trust thee, look hither and say,
Do you see any green in my eye?”
“O, doubt me not, lady, my lance shall maintainThat thou’rt peerless in beauty and fame;And the bravest should eat of the dust of the plain,Who would quaff not a cup to thy name.”“I doubt not thy prowess in list or in fray,For none dare thy courage belie;And I’ll trust thee, though kindred and priest say me nay—When you see any green in my eye!”
“O, doubt me not, lady, my lance shall maintain
That thou’rt peerless in beauty and fame;
And the bravest should eat of the dust of the plain,
Who would quaff not a cup to thy name.”
“I doubt not thy prowess in list or in fray,
For none dare thy courage belie;
And I’ll trust thee, though kindred and priest say me nay—
When you see any green in my eye!”
Mr. Solomons begs to announce to reporters of newspapers, that he has constructed, at a very great expense, several sets of new glasses, which will enable the wearer to see as small or as great a number of auditors, at public conferences and political meetings, as may suit his purpose. Mr. Solomons has also invented a new kind of ear-trumpet, which will enable a reporter to hear only such portions of an harangue as may be in accordance with his political bias; or should there be nothing uttered by any speaker that may suit his purpose, these ear-trumpets will change the sounds of words and the construction of sentences in such a way as to be incontrovertible, although every syllable should be diverted from its original meaning and intention. They have also the power of larding a speech with “loud cheers,” or “strong disapprobation.”
These valuable inventions have been in use for some years by Mr. Solomons’ respected friend, the editor of theTimes; but no publicity has been given to them, until Mr. S. had completely tested their efficacy. He has now much pleasure in subjoining, for the information of the public, the following letter, of the authenticity of which Mr. S. presumes no one can entertain a doubt.
It is with much pleasure that I am enabled, my dear Solomons, to give my humble testimony in favour of your new political glasses and ear-trumpet. By their invaluable aid I have been enabled, for some years, to see and hear just what suited my purpose. I have recommended them to myprotégé, Sir Robert Peel, who has already tried the glasses, and, I am happy to state, does not see quite so many objections to a fixed duty as he did before using these wonderful illuminators. The gallant Sibthorp (at my recommendation) carried one of your ear-trumpets to the House on Friday last, and states that he heard his honoured leader declare, “that the Colonel was the only man who ought to be Premier—after himself.”
If these testimonies are of any value to you, publish them by all means, and believe me.
Yours faithfully,JOHN WALTER.Printing House Square.
Mr. S. begs to state, that though magnifying and diminishing glasses are no novelty, yet his invention is the only one to suit the interest of parties without principle.
“What sentimental character does the re-elected Speaker remind you of?”—Ans. by Croker: “P(shaw!) Lefevre, to be sure.”
We regret to state that the second ball at the Boulognefêtewas simply remarkable from “its having gone off without any disturbance.” Wherewerethe national guards?
A corresponedent of theTimesforwards the alarming intelligence that at the Boulogne Races thestakesneverfill! Sibthorp, the gifted Sib, ever happy at expedients, ingeniously recommends atrialof thechops.
“Ah! Julia, time all tilings destroys,The heart, the blood, the pen;But come, I’ll re-enact young joyAnd be myself again.“Yet stay, sweet Julia, how is thisThine are not lips at all;Your face isplastered, and you kiss,Like Thisbe—through a wall.”
“Ah! Julia, time all tilings destroys,The heart, the blood, the pen;But come, I’ll re-enact young joyAnd be myself again.
“Ah! Julia, time all tilings destroys,
The heart, the blood, the pen;
But come, I’ll re-enact young joy
And be myself again.
“Yet stay, sweet Julia, how is thisThine are not lips at all;Your face isplastered, and you kiss,Like Thisbe—through a wall.”
“Yet stay, sweet Julia, how is this
Thine are not lips at all;
Your face isplastered, and you kiss,
Like Thisbe—through a wall.”
The capital of this Company is to consist of £0,000,001; one-half of it to be vested in Aldgate Pump, and the other moiety in the Dogger Bank.
Shares, at £50 each, will be issued to any amount; and interest paid thereon when convenient.
A board, consisting of twelve directors, will be formed; but, to save trouble, the management of the Company’s affairs will be placed in the hands of the secretary.
The duties of trustees, auditor, and treasurer, will also be discharged by the secretary.
Each shareholder will he presented with a gratuitous copy of the Company’s regulations, printed on fine foolscap.
Individuals purchasing annuities of this company, will be allowed a large-rate of interest on paper for their money, calculated on an entirely novel sliding-scale. Annuitants will be entitled to receive their annuities whenever they can get them.
The Company’s office will be open at all hours for the receipt of money; but it is not yet determined at what time the paying branch of the department will come into operation.
The secretary will be allowed the small salary of £10,000 a-year.
In order to simplify the accounts, there will be no books kept. By this arrangement, a large saving will be effected in the article of clerks, &c.
The annual profits of the company will be fixed at 20 per cent., but it is expected that there will be no inquiry made after dividends.
All monies received for and by the company, to be deposited in the breeches-pocket of the secretary, and not to be withdrawn from thence without his special sanction.
The establishment to consist of a secretary and porter.
The porter is empowered to act as secretary in the absence of that officer; and the secretary is permitted to assist the porter in the arduous duties of his situation.
*∗* Applications for shares or annuities to be made to the secretary of the Provident Annuity Company, No. 1, Thieves Inn.
Our reporter has just forwarded an authentic statement, in which he vouches, with every appearance of truth, that “Lord Melbourne dined at home on Wednesday last.” The neighbourhood is in an agonising state of excitement.
Our readers will be horrified to learn the above is not the whole extent of this alarming event. From a private source of the highest possible credit, we are informed that his “Lordship also took tea.”
Great Heavens! when will our painful duties end? We tremble as we write,—may we be deceived!—but we are compelled to announce the agonising fact—“he also supped!”
DEAR SIR,—“The dinner is fatally true! but, I am happy to state, there are doubts about the tea, and you may almost wholly contradict the supper.”
“I have only time to say, things are not so bad! The tea is disproved, and the supper was a gross exaggeration.
“N.B. My horse is dead!”
Hurrah! Glorious news! There is no truth in the above fearful rumour; it is false from beginning to end, and, doubtless, had its vile origin from some of the “adverse faction,” as it is clearly of such a nature as to convulse the country. To what meanness will not these Tories stoop, for the furtherance of their barefaced schemes of oppression and pillage! The facts they have so grossly distorted with their tortuous ingenuity and demoniac intentions, are simply these:—A saveloy was ordered by one of the upper servants (who is on board wages, and finds his own kitchen fire), the boy entrusted with its delivery mistook the footman for his lordship. This is very unlikely, as the man is willing to make an affidavit he had “just cleaned himself,” and therefore, it is clear the boy must have been a paid emissary. But the public will be delighted to learn, to prevent the possibility of future mistakes—“John” has been denuded of his whiskers—the only features which, on a careful examination, presented the slightest resemblance to his noble master. In fact, otherwise the fellow is remarkably good-looking.
[pg 82]
It being now an established axiom that every member goes into Parliament for the sole purpose of advancing his own private interest, and not, as has been ignorantly believed, for the benefit of his country or the constituency he represents, it becomes a matter of vast importance to those individuals who have not had the advantage of long experience in the house, to be informed of the mode usually adopted by honourable members in the discharge of their legislative duties. With this view the writer, who has, for the last thirty years, done business on both sides of the house, and always with the strictest regard to the main chance, has collected a number of hints for the guidance of juvenile members, of which the following are offered as a sample:—
HINT 1.—It is a vulgar error to imagine that a man, to be a member of Parliament, requires either education, talents, or honesty: all that it is necessary for him to possess is—impudence and humbug!
HINT 2.—When a candidate addresses a constituency, he should promise everything. Some men will only pledge themselves to what their conscience considers right. Fools of this sort can never hope to be
A man gets kicked out of a door by many feet.RETURNED BY A LARGE MAJORITY.
RETURNED BY A LARGE MAJORITY.
HINT 3.—Oratory is a showy, but by no means necessary, accomplishment in the house. If a member knows when to say “Ay” or “No,” it is quite sufficient for all useful purposes.
HINT 4.—If, however, a young member should be seized with, the desire of speaking in Parliament, he may do so without the slighest regard to sense, as the reporters in the gallery are paid for the purpose of making speeches for honourable members; and on the following morning he may calculate on seeing, in the columns of the daily papers, a full report of his splendid
A young woman tells her swain 'I'll ask my Ma!'MAIDEN SPEECH.
MAIDEN SPEECH.
HINT 5.—A knowledge of the exact time to cry “Hear, hear!” is absolutely necessary. A severe cough, when a member of the opposite side of the house is speaking, is greatly to be commended; cock-crowing is also a desirable qualification for a young legislator, and, if judiciously practised, cannot fail to bring the possessor into the notice of his party.
HINT 6.—The back seats in the gallery are considered, by several members, as the most comfortable for taking a nap on.
HINT 7.—If one honourable member wishes to tell another honourable member that he is anything but a gentleman, he should be particular to do so within the walls of the house—as, in that case, the Speaker will put him under arrest, to prevent any unpleasant consequences arising from his hasty expressions.
HINT 8.—If a member promise to give his vote to the minister, he must in honour do so—unless he happen to fall asleep in the smoking-room, and so gets shut out from the division of the house.
HINT 9.—No independent member need trouble himself to understand the merits of any question before the house. He may, therefore, amuse himself at Bellamy’s until five minutes before the Speaker’s bell rings for a division.
“The health of the Earl of Winchilsea and the Conservative members of the House of Peers,” was followed, amid intense cheering, with the glee of
“Swearing death to traitor slaves!”—Times.
“Swearing death to traitor slaves!”—Times.
“Swearing death to traitor slaves!”—Times.
Several scientific engineers have formed themselves into a company, and are about applying for an Act of Parliament to enable them to take a lease of Joe Hume, for the purpose of opposing the Archimedean Screw. Public feeling is already in favour of the “Humedean,” and the “Joe” shares are rising rapidly.
One of the expedients adopted by the cheap-knowledge-mongers to convey so-called “information” to the vulgar, has been, we flatter ourselves, successfully imitated in our articles on the Stars and the Thermometer. They are by writers engaged expressly for the respective subjects, because they will work cheaply and know but little of what they are writing about, and therefore make themselves the better understood by the equally ignorant. We do hope that they have not proved themselves behindhand in popular humbug and positive error, and that the blunders in “the Thermometer”33. One of these blunders the author must not be commended for; it is attributable to a facetious mistake of the printer. In giving the etymology of the Thermometer, it should have been “measure ofheat,” and not “measure offeet.” We scorn to deprive our devil of a joke so worthy of him.are equally as amusing as those of the then big-wig who wrote the treatise on “Animal Mechanics,” published by our rival Society for Diffusing Useful Knowledge.
Another of their methods for obtaining cheap knowledge it is now our intention to adopt. Having got the poorest and least learned authors we could find (of course for cheapness) for our former pieces of information, we have this time engaged a gentleman to mystify a few common-place subjects, in the style of certain articles in the “Penny Cyclopædia.” As his erudition is too profound for ordinary comprehensions—as he scorns gain—as the books he has hitherto published (no, privated) have been printed at his own expense, for the greater convenience of reading them himself, for nobody else does so—as, in short, he is in reality a cheap-knowledge man, seeing that he scorns pay, and we scorn to pay him—we have concluded an engagement with him for fourteen years.
The subject on which we have directed him to employ his vast scientific acquirements, is one which must come home to the firesides of the married and the bosoms of the single, namely, the art of raising a flame; in humble imitation of some of Young’s Knights’ Thoughts, which are directed to the object of lightening the darkness of servants, labourers, artisans, and chimney-sweeps, and in providing guides to the trades or services of which they are already masters or mistresses. We beg to present our readers with
A maid kisses a man through a fence.THE HOUSEMAID’S BEST FRIEND.
Take a small cylindrical aggregation of parallelopedal sections of the ligneous fibre (vulgarly denominated a bundle of fire-wood), and arrange a fractional part of the integral quantity rectilineally along the interior of the igneous receptacle known as a grate, so as to form an acute angle (of, say 25°) with its base; and one (of, say 65°) with the posterior plane that is perpendicular to it; taking care at the same time to leave between each parallelopedal section an insterstice isometrical with the smaller sides of any one of their six quadrilateral superficies, so as to admit of the free circulation of the atmospheric fluid. Superimposed upon this, arrange several moderate-sized concretions of the hydro-carburetted substance (vulgocoal), approximating in figure as nearly as possible to the rhombic dodecahedron, so that the solid angles of each concretion may constitute the different points of contact with those immediately adjacent. Insert into the cavity formed by the imposition of the ligneous fibre upon the inferior transverse ferruginous bar, a sheet of laminated lignin, or paper, compressed by the action of the digits into an irregular spheroid.
These preliminary operations having been skilfully performed, the process of combustion may be commenced. For this purpose, a smaller woody paralleloped—the extremities of which have been previously dipped in sulphur in a state of liquefaction—must be ignited and applied to the laminated lignin, or waste paper, and so elevate its temperature to a degree required for its combustion, which will be communicated to the ligneous superstructure; this again raises the temperature of the hydro-carburet concretion, and liberates its carburetted hydrogen in the form of gas; which gas, combining with the oxygen of the atmosphere, enters into combustion, and a general ignition ensues. This, in point of fact, constitutes what is popularly termed—“lighting a fire.”
In an action lately tried at the Cork Assizes, a lady obtainedfifteen hundred pounds damages, for a breach of promise of marriage, against a faithless lover. Lady Morgan sends us the following trifle on the subject:—
What!fifteen hundred!—’tis a sum severe;The fine by far the injury o’erreaches.Foronepoorbreachof promise ’tis too dear—’Twould be sufficient for apair of breaches!
What!fifteen hundred!—’tis a sum severe;The fine by far the injury o’erreaches.Foronepoorbreachof promise ’tis too dear—’Twould be sufficient for apair of breaches!
What!fifteen hundred!—’tis a sum severe;
The fine by far the injury o’erreaches.
Foronepoorbreachof promise ’tis too dear—
’Twould be sufficient for apair of breaches!
[pg 83]
Several designing individuals, whose talents fordrawingon paper are much greater than those of Charles Kean for drawing upon the stage, met together at Somerset House, on Monday last, to distribute prizes among their scholars. Prince Albert presided, gave away the prizes with great suavity, and made a speech which occupied exactly two seconds and a-half.
The first prize was awarded to Master Palmerston, for a successfuldesignfor completely frustrating certain commercialviewsupon China, and for his new invention ofauto-painting. Prize: an order upon Truefit for a new wig.
Master John Russell was next called up.—This talented young gentleman had designed a gigantic “penny loaf;” which, although too immense for practical use, yet, his efforts having been exclusively directed to fanciful design, and not to practical possibility, was highly applauded. Master Russell also evinced a highly precocious talent fordrawing—his salary. Prize: a splendidly-bound copy of the New Marriage Act.
The fortunate candidate next upon the list, was Master Normanby. This young gentleman brought forward a beautiful design for a new prison, so contrived for criminals to be excluded from light and society, in any degree proportionate with their crimes. This young gentleman was brought up in Ireland, but there evinced considerable talent indrawingprisoners out of durance vile. He was much complimented on the salutary effect upon his studies, which his pupilage at the school of design had wrought. Prize: an order from Colburn for a new novel.
Master Melbourne, who was next called up, seemed a remarkably fine boy of his age, though a little too old for his short jacket. He had signalised himself by an exceedingly elaboratedesignfor the Treasury benches. This elicited the utmost applause; for, by this plan, the seats were so ingeniously contrived, that, once occupied, it would be a matter of extreme difficulty for the sitter to beabsquatulated, even by main force. Prize: a free ticket to the licensed victuallers’ dinner.
The Prince then withdrew, amidst the acclamations of the assembled multitude.
There is always much difference of opinion existing as to the number of theatres which ought to be licensed in the metropolis. Our friend Peter Borthwick, whose mathematical acquirements are only equalled by his “heavy fathers,” has suggested the following formula whereby to arrive at a just conclusion:—Take the number of theatres, multiply by the public-houses, and divide by the dissenting chapels, and the quotient will be the answer. This is what Peter calls
A man stands at a crossroads marked 'Fixed Duty' and 'Sliding Scale'COMING TO A DIVISION.
COMING TO A DIVISION.
LADY B—— (who, it is rumoured, has an eye to the bedchamber) was interrogating Sir Robert Peel a little closer than the wily ministerin futuroapproved of. After several very evasive answers, which had no effect on the lady’s pertinacity, Sir Robert made her a graceful bow, and retired, humming the favourite air of—
An artist is unhappy with a portrait.“OH! I CANNOT GIVE EXPRESSION.”
“OH! I CANNOT GIVE EXPRESSION.”
It is asserted that a certain eminent medical man lately offered to a publisher in Paternoster-row a “Treatise on the Hand,” which the worthy bibliopole declined with a shake of the head, saying, “My dear sir, we have got too manytreatises on our handsalready.”
TheCommercestates “the cost of the mansion now building for Mr. Hope, in the Rue St. Dominique, including furniture and objects of art, is estimated at six hundred thousand pounds!”—[If this is an attribute ofHope, what is reality?—ED. PUNCH.]
We perceive that the severity of the summer has prevented the entire banishment of furs in the fashionablequartiersof the metropolis. We noticed three fur caps, on Sunday last, in Seven Dials. Beavers are, however, superseded by gossamers; the crowns of which are, among the élite of St. Giles’s, jauntily opened to admit of ventilation, in anticipation of the warm weather. Frieze coats are fast giving way to pea-jackets; waistcoats, it is anticipated, will soon be discarded, and brass buttons are completely out of vogue.
We have not noticed so many highlows as Bluchers upon the understandings of the promenaders of Broad-street. Ancle-jacks are, we perceive, universally adopted at the elegantsoirées dansantes, nightly held at the “Frog and Fiddle,” in Pye-street, Westminster.
We understand that Sir M.A. Shee is engaged in painting the portraits of Sir Willoughhy Woolston Dixie and Mr. John Bell, the lately-elected member for Thirsk, which are intended for the exhibition at the Royal Academy. If Folliot Duff’s account of their dastardly conduct in the Waldegrave affair be correct, we cannotimaginetwo gentlemen more worthy the labours of the
Three judges at the bench.HANGING COMMITTEE.
HANGING COMMITTEE.
We have been informed, on authority upon which we have reason to place much reliance, that several distinguished members of the upper and lower houses of Parliament intend moving for the following important returns early in the present session:—
Lord Palmerston will move for a return of all thepapillotepapers contained in the red box at the Foreign Office.
The Duke of Wellington will move for a return of the Tory taxes.
The Marquis of Downshire will move for a return of his political honesty.
Lord Melbourne will move for a return of place and power.
The Marquis of Westmeath will move for a return of the days when he was young.
The Marquis Wellesley will move for a return of the pap-spoons manufactured in England for the last three years.
Sir Francis Burdett will move for a return of his popularity in Westminster.
Lord John Russell will move that the return of the Tories to office is extremely inconvenient.
Captain Rous will move for a return of the number of high-spirited Tories who were conveyed on stretchers to the different station-houses, on the night of the ever-to-be-remembered Drury-lane dinner.
Sir E.L. Bulwer will move for a return of all the half-penny ballads published by Catnach and Co. during the last year.
Morgan O’Connell will move for a return of all the brogues worn by the bare-footed peasantry of Ireland.
Colonel Sibthorp will move for a return of his wits.
Peter Borthwick will move for a return of all the kettles convicted of singing on the Sabbath-day.
Sir Robert Peel will move for a return of all the ladies of the palace—to the places from whence they came.
Ben D’Israeli will move for a return of all the hard words in Johnson’s Dictionary.
TheSunday Timesstates, that “several of theheadsof the Conservative party held a conference atWhitehallGardens!”Headsandconferenceshave been cut short enough at the same place ere now!
A joke Col. Sibthorp to the journal sent—Appropriate heading—”Serious Accident.”
A joke Col. Sibthorp to the journal sent—Appropriate heading—”Serious Accident.”
A joke Col. Sibthorp to the journal sent—
Appropriate heading—”Serious Accident.”
The match at cricket, between the Chelsea and Greenwich Pensioners, was decided in favour of the latter. Captain Rous says, no great wonder, considering the winners bad the majority oflegson their side. The Hyllus affair has made him an authority.
[pg 84]
N.B.—PUNCH is delighted to perceive, from the style of this critique, that, though anonymously sent, it is manifestly from the pen of the elegant critic of theMorning Post.
A couple at the opera, in an O-shaped frame.
On a review of the events of the past season, thesouvenirsit presents are not calculated to elevate the character of the artsdi poetaanddi musica, of which the Italian Opera is composed. The only decidednouveautéswhich made their appearance, were “Fausta,” and “Roberto Devereux,” both of themjejuneas far as regards theirlibrettoand thecomposita musicale. The latter opera, however, serving as it did to introduce a pleasingrifacciamentoof the lamented Malibran, in her talented sister Pauline (Madame Viardot), may, on that account, be remembered as a pleasing reminiscence of the past season.
The evening of Saturday, Aug. 21st, will long be remembered by thehabituésof the Opera. From exclusive sources (which have been opened to us at a very considerable expense) we are enabled to communicate—malheureusement—that with the close of thesaison de1841, thecorps opératiqueloses one of its most brilliant ornaments. That memorable epocha was chosen by Rubini for making a gracefulcongéto a fashionable audience, amidst an abundance of tears—shed in the choicest Italian—and showers ofbouquets. The subjects chosen for representation wereaproposin the extreme; all being of atristecharacter, namely, theatta terzoof “Marino Faliero,” thefinaleof “Lucia di Lammermoor,” and the lastparteof “La Sonnambula:” these were the chosen vehicles for Rubini’ssoirée d’adieu.
As thistenor primissimohas, in a professionalregarde, disappeared from amongst us—as the last echoes of hisvoix magnifiquehave died away—as he has made a final exit from the publicplafondto thecoulissesof private life—we deem it due to future historians of the Italian Operade Londres, to record our admiration, our opinions, and ourregretsfor this greatartiste.
Signor Rubini is in stature what might be denominatedjuste milieu; histailleis graceful, hisfigurepleasing, his eyes full of expression, his hair bushy: hiscomportupon the stage, when not excited by passion, is full ofverveandbrusquerie, but in passages which theMaestrohas marked “con passione” nothing can exceed the elegance of his attitudes, and the pleasing dignity of his gestures. After,par exemple, therecitativi, what a prettyempressementhe gave (alas! that we must now speak in the past tense!) to thetonicorkey-note, bylockinghis arms in each other over hispoitrine—by that after expansion of them—that cleveraltomovement of the toes—that apparent embracing of thefumes des lampes—how touching! Then, while thesinfoniaof theandantewas in progress, how gracefully he turnedson dosto the delighted auditors, and made an interestingpromenade au fond, always contriving to get his finely-arched nose over thelumièresat the precise point of time (we speak in a musical sense) where the word “voce” is marked in the score. His pantomime to theallegriwas no less captivating; but it was in thestrettathat his beauty of action was most exquisitely apparent; there, worked up by an elaboratecrescendo(themotivoof which is always, in the Italian school, a simple progression of the diatonic scale), thefurorwith which thiscantraticehurried his hands into the thick clumps of his picturesqueperruque, and seemed to tear itscheveuxout by the roots (without, however, disturbing the celebrated side-parting a single hair)—the vigour with which he beat his breast—his final expansion of arms, elevation of toes, and the impressivefrappeof his right foot upon the stage immediately before disappearing behind thecoulisses—must be fresh in thesouvenirof ourdilettantireaders.
But how shall weparleconcerning hisvoix? That exquisite organ, whosefalsettoemulated the sweetness of flutes, and reached to A flatin altissimo—thevoce mediaof which possessed an unequalledaplomb, whose deep double G must still find a well-in-tune echo in thetympanumof everyamateurof taste.That, we must confess, as critics and theoretical musicians, causes us considerableembarrasfor words to describe. Who that heard it on Saturday last, has yet recovered the ravishing sensation produced by the thrilling tremour with which RubinigavetheNotte d’Orrore, in Rossini’s “Marino Faliero?” Who can forget therecitativo con andante et allegro, in the last scene of “La Sonnambula;” or the burst of anguishcon expressivissimo, when accused of treason, while personating his favouriterôlein “Lucia di Lammermoor?” Ah! those who suffered themselves to be detained from the opera on Saturday last by mere illness, or other light causes, will, to translate a forcible expression in the “Inferno” of Dante, “go down with sorrow to the grave.” To them we say, Rubiniest parti—gone!—he has sent forth his lastut—concluded his lastre—his ultimate note has sounded—his lastbillet de banqueis pocketed—he has, to use an emphatic and heart-stirringmot, “coupé son bâton!”
It is due to thesentimensof the audience of Saturday, to notice the evident regret with which they received Rubini’sadieux; for, towards the close of the evening, the secret became known. Animatedconversazioniresounded from almost every box during many of his most charmingpianopassages (and never will hissotto-vocebe equalled)—thebeaux espritsof the pit discussed his merits with audiblegoût; while the gallery and upper stalls remained in mute grief at the consciousness of that being thedernière foisthey would ever be able to hear the sublimevoce-di-testaof Italy’s prince oftenori.
Although this retirement will make the presentclôtureof the opera one of the most memorableévénemensinles annales de l’opéra, yet some remarks are demanded of us upon the otherartistes. In “Marino Faliero,” Lablache came theDodgewith remarkable success. Madlle. Loewe, far from deserving herbas nom, was the height of perfection, and gave her celebratedscenain the last-named operaavec une force superbe. Persiani looked remarkably well, and wore a most becomingrobein therôleof Amina.
Of thedanseuseswe have hardly space to speak. Cerito exhibited the “poetry of motion” with her usual skill, particularly in a difficultpaswith Albert. The ballet was “Le Diable Amoureux,” and the stage was watered between each act.
It seems that the English Opera-house has been taken fortwelve nights, to give “a free stage and fair play” to “EVERY ENGLISH LIVING DRAMATIST.” Considering that the Council of the Dramatic Authors’ Theatre comprises at least half-a-dozen Shakspeares in their own conceit, to say nothing of one or twoRowes(soft ones of course), a sprinkling of Otways, with here and there a Massinger, we may calculate pretty correctly how far the stage they have taken possession of is likely to befree, or theplayto befairtowardsEvery English living Dramatist.
It appears that a small knot of very great geniuses have been, for some time past, regularly sending certain bundles of paper, called Dramas, round to the different metropolitan theatres, and as regularly receiving them back again. Some of these geniuses, goaded to madness by this unceremonious treatment, have been guilty of the insanity of printing their plays; and, though the “Rejected Addresses” were a very good squib, the rejected Dramas are much too ponderous a joke for the public to take; so that, while in their manuscript form, they always produced speedyreturnsfrom the managers, they, in their printed shape, caused noreturnsto the publishers. It is true, that a personal acquaintance of some of the authors with Nokes of theNorth Eastern Independent, or some other equally-influential country print, may have gained for them, now and then, an egregious puff, wherein the writers are said to be equal to Goëthe, a cut above Sheridan Knowles, and the only successors of Shakspeare; but we suspect that “the mantle of the Elizabethan poets,” which is said to have descended on one of these gentry, would, if inspected, turn out to be something more like Fitzball’s Tagiioni or Dibdin Pitt’s Macintosh.
No one can suspect PUNCH of anyprestigein favour of the restrictions laid upon the drama—for our own free-and-easy habit of erecting our theatre in the first convenient street we come to, and going through our performance without caring a rush for the Lord Chamberlain or the Middlesex magistrates, must convince all who know us, that we are for a thoroughly free trade in theatricals; but, nevertheless, we think theGreat Unactablestalk egregious nonsense when they prate about the possibility of their efforts working “a beneficial alteration in a law which presses so fatally on dramatic genius.” We think their tom-foolery more likely to induce restrictions that may prevent others from exposing their mental imbecility, than to encourage the authorities to relax the laws that might hinder them from doing so. The boasted compliance with legal requisites in the mode of preparing “Martinuzzi” for the stage is not a new idea, and we only hope it may be carried out one-half as well as in the instances of “Romeo and Juliet as the Law directs,” and “Othello according to Act of Parliament.” There is a vaster amount of humbug in the play-bill of this new concern, than in all the open puffs that have been issued for many years past from all the regular establishments. The tirade against thelaw—the announcement of alterations in conformity withthe law—the hint that the musical introductions are such as “the lawmay require”—mean nothing more than this—“if the piece is damned, it’sthe law; if it succeeds, it’s theauthor’s genius!” Now, every one who has written for the illegitimate stage, and therefore PUNCH in particular, knows very well that the necessity for the introduction of music into a piece played at one of the smaller theatres is only nominal—that four pieces of verse are interspersed in the copy sent to the licenser, but these are such matters of utter course, that their invention or selection is generally left to the prompter’s genius. The piece is, unless essentially musical, licensed with the songs and acted without—or, at least, there is no necessity whatever for retaining them. Why, therefore, should Mr. Stephens drag “solos, duets, choruses, and other musical arrangements,” into his drama, unless it is that he thinks they will give it a better chance of success? while, in the event of failure, he reserves the right of turning round upon thelawand themusic, which he will declare were the means of damning it.
A set of briefless barristers—all would-be Erskines, Thurlows, or Eldons, at the least—might as well complain of the system that excludes them from the Woolsack, and take a building to turn it into a Court of Chancery on their own account, as that these luckless scribblers, all fancying the Elizabethan mantle has fallen flop upon their backs, should set themselves up for Shakspeares on their own account, and seize on a metropolitan theatre as a temple for the enshrinement of their genius.
If PUNCH has dealt hardly with these gentlemen, it is because he will bear “no brother near the throne” of humbug and quackery. Like a steward who tricks his master, but keeps the rest of the servants honest, PUNCH will gammon the public to the utmost of his skill, but he will take care that no one else shall exercise a trade of which he claims by prescription the entire monopoly.