Ill-Will.Marry! I am come at the first call:Will, your own man, have me who shall;For I am Will, servant to you all;Ye shall not need to send for me.Wealth.Who is acquainted with this man?He is very homely, and little good he canB2,v.To come in here so boldly; thenDrive him away quickly!Ill-W.Why, I came not till I was called.Your own Will openly ye named;Then I came apace, lest I should be blamed:Therefore, I pray you, let me bide still.[H]eal[th.]Whose will, or what will, doth he mean?Thou art not my will, I forsake thee clean;My will and their wills is often seen:Our wills can none ill.Ill-W.Alas, good masters! I can none ill.Yet, by my troth! I am your evil will—Your will, and your will, and your will; therefore, keep me:I love ye, by God's mother!Lib.This is a strange saying unto me:My will, your will, and his will—this cannot be;For in our wills is great diversity;For one is not like another.Ill-W.Yet, by Christ! your own will I am;The maddest will, and the merriest than.For God's sake! now let me be your manTill ye have better acquaintance.Wealth.I perceive this fellow is kind,And oweth to us good will and mind;Some kinds again then let him find:Let him have some furtherance.Ill-W.By God, sir! and I durst be so bold,Acquaintance of this man claim I would,And kindred, too; if the truth were toldWe be of one consanguinity.Health.How so? let me hear that, I pray thee heartily!Ill-W.Will and Liberty is of ancestry old:B3,r.Without Liberty, Will dare not be bold;And where Will lacketh, Liberty is full cold;Therefore, Will and Liberty must needs be of kin.Lib.Indeed, as he saith, it may well be;For Will ever longeth unto Liberty:Therefore, good friend, welcome to me!I pray you all be good to him.[And goeth out.Wealth.For your sake he is welcome to us all;Let him come to our place, and then he shallHave succour of us and help withal:And now we will depart.
Ill-Will.Marry! I am come at the first call:Will, your own man, have me who shall;For I am Will, servant to you all;Ye shall not need to send for me.
Wealth.Who is acquainted with this man?He is very homely, and little good he canB2,v.To come in here so boldly; thenDrive him away quickly!
Ill-W.Why, I came not till I was called.Your own Will openly ye named;Then I came apace, lest I should be blamed:Therefore, I pray you, let me bide still.
[H]eal[th.]Whose will, or what will, doth he mean?Thou art not my will, I forsake thee clean;My will and their wills is often seen:Our wills can none ill.
Ill-W.Alas, good masters! I can none ill.Yet, by my troth! I am your evil will—Your will, and your will, and your will; therefore, keep me:I love ye, by God's mother!
Lib.This is a strange saying unto me:My will, your will, and his will—this cannot be;For in our wills is great diversity;For one is not like another.
Ill-W.Yet, by Christ! your own will I am;The maddest will, and the merriest than.For God's sake! now let me be your manTill ye have better acquaintance.
Wealth.I perceive this fellow is kind,And oweth to us good will and mind;Some kinds again then let him find:Let him have some furtherance.
Ill-W.By God, sir! and I durst be so bold,Acquaintance of this man claim I would,And kindred, too; if the truth were toldWe be of one consanguinity.
Health.How so? let me hear that, I pray thee heartily!
Ill-W.Will and Liberty is of ancestry old:B3,r.Without Liberty, Will dare not be bold;And where Will lacketh, Liberty is full cold;Therefore, Will and Liberty must needs be of kin.
Lib.Indeed, as he saith, it may well be;For Will ever longeth unto Liberty:Therefore, good friend, welcome to me!I pray you all be good to him.[And goeth out.
Wealth.For your sake he is welcome to us all;Let him come to our place, and then he shallHave succour of us and help withal:And now we will depart.
[AndWealthandHealthgoeth out.
Ill-W.Will ye go hence? I thank ye, masters, with all my heart!I will seek you out, I warrant you! fear not!Now they be gone; I am glad, by Saint Mary!A little while here I purpose to tarry:How to deceive Wealth, Health, and LibertyNow must I devise.For I am a child that is past grace;Ill-Will—I am called that in every place—Doth much mischief; this is a plain case:Virtue I do utterly despise.But if they wist what I were,Then of my purpose I should be never the near:I will keep my tongue lest that I marMy whole intent and will.But now I marvel, by this day!Where Shrewd Wit is gone astray;Some crafty touch is in his way—I hear him! peace! stand still!
Ill-W.Will ye go hence? I thank ye, masters, with all my heart!I will seek you out, I warrant you! fear not!Now they be gone; I am glad, by Saint Mary!A little while here I purpose to tarry:How to deceive Wealth, Health, and LibertyNow must I devise.For I am a child that is past grace;Ill-Will—I am called that in every place—Doth much mischief; this is a plain case:Virtue I do utterly despise.But if they wist what I were,Then of my purpose I should be never the near:I will keep my tongue lest that I marMy whole intent and will.But now I marvel, by this day!Where Shrewd Wit is gone astray;Some crafty touch is in his way—I hear him! peace! stand still!
[EnterethShrewd Witwith a song.
Dieu vous garde playsaunce!On seven or on mumchance, what yonkers dare avanceB3,v.To play a groat or twain?Lo! here I have in storeTwo or three groats, and no more;I take great thought, therefore,For to keep it; it is much pain.I come now out of a placeWhere is a company of small grace:Thieves and whores that spends apace—They were drunken all the sort.One of their purses I did aspyOut of his sleeve, where it did lie;And one winked on me with his eye:But there began the sport.There False Falsehood, and I, Crafty WitGot the purse: lo! here I have it.I came my way and let him sit,Smoke and shitten arse together.And if that I had Ill-Will here,With this money we would make good cheer.Gentle brother Will! I pray thee, appear!For thou art in some corner.Ill-W.[from without.] I would come in, but I am afeardLest that I be taken by the beardWith some catchpoll; I have heardHow thou hast stolen a purse.Wit.Thou whoreson! art thou mad? come in, I say!
Dieu vous garde playsaunce!On seven or on mumchance, what yonkers dare avanceB3,v.To play a groat or twain?Lo! here I have in storeTwo or three groats, and no more;I take great thought, therefore,For to keep it; it is much pain.I come now out of a placeWhere is a company of small grace:Thieves and whores that spends apace—They were drunken all the sort.One of their purses I did aspyOut of his sleeve, where it did lie;And one winked on me with his eye:But there began the sport.There False Falsehood, and I, Crafty WitGot the purse: lo! here I have it.I came my way and let him sit,Smoke and shitten arse together.And if that I had Ill-Will here,With this money we would make good cheer.Gentle brother Will! I pray thee, appear!For thou art in some corner.
Ill-W.[from without.] I would come in, but I am afeardLest that I be taken by the beardWith some catchpoll; I have heardHow thou hast stolen a purse.
Wit.Thou whoreson! art thou mad? come in, I say!
[Ill-Willcomes in.
This is not the first hazard that I have scaped;If I make an hand to deck myself gay,What am I the worse?Ill-W.From thy company I cannot abide;I must needs hold upon thy side:Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, who can hide?B4,r.For they will be together.Wit.Now welcome, Will! and what cheer?By God! I thought for thee a thousand year.Peace! for God's body! who cometh there?Hance Beerpot, a scon router!
This is not the first hazard that I have scaped;If I make an hand to deck myself gay,What am I the worse?
Ill-W.From thy company I cannot abide;I must needs hold upon thy side:Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, who can hide?B4,r.For they will be together.
Wit.Now welcome, Will! and what cheer?By God! I thought for thee a thousand year.Peace! for God's body! who cometh there?Hance Beerpot, a scon router!
[EnterethHancewith a Dutch song.
[Hance.] Gut, mynen scone rutters, by the moder Got!Ic heist nowne schon, for stave ye neteDe qusteke man, iche bie do do?Van the groate bumbarde well ic weteDartyck dowsant van enheb it meteIc best de manikin van de keining dangliterDe grot keyser kind ic bene his kusketer.Ill-W.Hear ye not drunken Hance, how he begins to prate?The malapert Fleming is a little too checkmate.Wit.Let the knave alone! for his name is War:Such drunken Flemings your company will mar.Hance.Ic best nen einond; ic best in soche;Ye fecte nete vell; ic forstave ye in doche.Ill-W.Com'st here leyt with your gound? stand near!It becomes you better to handle a pot of beer.Hance.Dat maght ic veil dan, ic can skynke frelyck;Tab bers frew; ic bringes brore, begotts nemerick!Wit.The whoreson knave, by the mass! is drunkA winking, for deep his eyen be clean sunk.Hance.Ic forave ye vell ye seg dac ic slepeNenike, nenike, ic compta hore for an audor cepe.Ill-W.Well coppin, I pray thee, heartily tell us trueWherefore comest thou hither for anything to sue?Hance.Ye icke feger en bumbardere van de koyning wei it beHeb twe skelling de dagh ic con scote de culveryn.Wit.Nay! ye shall walk, a Fleming knave! will ye not seeB4,v.We have English gunners enow? there is no room empty.Hance.Ic best en bomberde mot ye to me sprekenWhat segge ye? bones! it sal ye yode staen.Ill-W.We speak not to thee; thou art a scon man,But go thy way! they be not here that promote thee can.Hance.Cant ye me a de house dragen van de grot here?Wit.Hance! ye must go to the court, and for Wealth inquire.Hance.What segte ye, Wealth? nenyke he is net hore;Wealth best in Flanders; ic myself brought him dore.Ill-W.Beshrew your whoreson Fleming's heart, therefore!Indeed, as he saith, by war in Flanders there is wealth.Hance.Segt ye dat brower? by the moder Got dan!Gut naught ic mot watt, to sent Cafrin, to mi lamnan store.
[Hance.] Gut, mynen scone rutters, by the moder Got!Ic heist nowne schon, for stave ye neteDe qusteke man, iche bie do do?Van the groate bumbarde well ic weteDartyck dowsant van enheb it meteIc best de manikin van de keining dangliterDe grot keyser kind ic bene his kusketer.
Ill-W.Hear ye not drunken Hance, how he begins to prate?The malapert Fleming is a little too checkmate.
Wit.Let the knave alone! for his name is War:Such drunken Flemings your company will mar.
Hance.Ic best nen einond; ic best in soche;Ye fecte nete vell; ic forstave ye in doche.
Ill-W.Com'st here leyt with your gound? stand near!It becomes you better to handle a pot of beer.
Hance.Dat maght ic veil dan, ic can skynke frelyck;Tab bers frew; ic bringes brore, begotts nemerick!
Wit.The whoreson knave, by the mass! is drunkA winking, for deep his eyen be clean sunk.
Hance.Ic forave ye vell ye seg dac ic slepeNenike, nenike, ic compta hore for an audor cepe.
Ill-W.Well coppin, I pray thee, heartily tell us trueWherefore comest thou hither for anything to sue?
Hance.Ye icke feger en bumbardere van de koyning wei it beHeb twe skelling de dagh ic con scote de culveryn.
Wit.Nay! ye shall walk, a Fleming knave! will ye not seeB4,v.We have English gunners enow? there is no room empty.
Hance.Ic best en bomberde mot ye to me sprekenWhat segge ye? bones! it sal ye yode staen.
Ill-W.We speak not to thee; thou art a scon man,But go thy way! they be not here that promote thee can.
Hance.Cant ye me a de house dragen van de grot here?
Wit.Hance! ye must go to the court, and for Wealth inquire.
Hance.What segte ye, Wealth? nenyke he is net hore;Wealth best in Flanders; ic myself brought him dore.
Ill-W.Beshrew your whoreson Fleming's heart, therefore!Indeed, as he saith, by war in Flanders there is wealth.
Hance.Segt ye dat brower? by the moder Got dan!Gut naught ic mot watt, to sent Cafrin, to mi lamnan store.
[And goeth out.
Ill-W.Is he gone? farewell, Hanijkin Bowse!I pray God give him a hounded drouse;For I trow a knave brought him to house.But now, Brother Wit!We must devose how that we mayBe in service with Wealth alway;Let me hear what thou canst do, or say,To help for to contrive it.Wit.For thy pleasure that I shall.This will I do first of all:Flatter and lie, and evermore callThem my good masters still.Then with swearing, lying, and polling,Bribery, theft, and privy picking,Thus I, Shrewd Wit, will ever be doing,I warrant thee, Ill-Will!Ill-W.I can thee thank; this is well devised;And I, Ill-Will, would have every man despised.But now, another thing must be contrived,C1,r.Or else all will be nought.There is one they call Good RemedyIn this realm; he hath great authority;He is a noble man, and much worthy:Many things he hath wrought.He is called lust, discreet, and indifferent,Willing to fulfil his sovereign's commandment;He is not 'fraid to do right punishment;Therefore of him I am afraid!Wit.So am I, too; this maketh me very sad.Yet, oftentimes, I have been hard bestrad;Now that I am warned of him I am very glad:S[ome crafty wile] for him [shall ye] had.Ill-W.Peace! no mo words; but mum!Methink I hear mast Wealth come.Kneel down and say such devout orisonThat they may hear us pray.Now, Jesu save Wealth, Health, and Liberty!
Ill-W.Is he gone? farewell, Hanijkin Bowse!I pray God give him a hounded drouse;For I trow a knave brought him to house.But now, Brother Wit!We must devose how that we mayBe in service with Wealth alway;Let me hear what thou canst do, or say,To help for to contrive it.
Wit.For thy pleasure that I shall.This will I do first of all:Flatter and lie, and evermore callThem my good masters still.Then with swearing, lying, and polling,Bribery, theft, and privy picking,Thus I, Shrewd Wit, will ever be doing,I warrant thee, Ill-Will!
Ill-W.I can thee thank; this is well devised;And I, Ill-Will, would have every man despised.But now, another thing must be contrived,C1,r.Or else all will be nought.There is one they call Good RemedyIn this realm; he hath great authority;He is a noble man, and much worthy:Many things he hath wrought.He is called lust, discreet, and indifferent,Willing to fulfil his sovereign's commandment;He is not 'fraid to do right punishment;Therefore of him I am afraid!
Wit.So am I, too; this maketh me very sad.Yet, oftentimes, I have been hard bestrad;Now that I am warned of him I am very glad:S[ome crafty wile] for him [shall ye] had.
Ill-W.Peace! no mo words; but mum!Methink I hear mast Wealth come.Kneel down and say such devout orisonThat they may hear us pray.Now, Jesu save Wealth, Health, and Liberty!
[LibertyandHealthreturneth backwithWealth.
Wealth.Sirs! you will have both God's blessing;So are ye worth for your praying;Ye are well disposed, and of good living—I will love you the better alway.Ill-W.Sir! this do we use every day;For Wealth, Health, and Liberty to pray.This same is my brother to you I [say]:He is an hard honest man!Wit.Forsooth, master! I am his brother;To be your servant was my coming hither;As long as we could be togetherYe shall not perish than.Health.To have you both to service I am content.C1,v.How say you, Liberty? will you thereto consent?Will and Wit God hath us lent:We may be glad of them.Lib.If we should refuse Will and WitWe were to blame; for they be fit.Therefore, by my will they shall not flit:They be welcome to me.Ill-W.God thank you, masters, all three!Ye shall find us poor, but true we cannot be—My tongue stumbles, I cry you mercy!—We will be true, I should say.Wealth.Sirs, go your way home, unto one place!And we will hie us after a-pace;And when we come, we shall set you in caseTo have a living alway.Health.Then look ye do both truly and just;For we must put you in great trust;All our household guide ye must:Behave you[r]self well.Wit.Masters, fear not! for I have wit enoughTo beguile myself, and to beguile you;I have beguiled many one, I may say to you:I pray you keep that in counsel.Lib.Beware of that! what doth he say?Beguile us all? yet I charge thee, Nay!Ye shall not beguile us: if I may,I will beware betime.Ill-W.Sir, be not angry! I you pray;The fool wotteth not he doth say;He meaneth that he will be profitable alway,And save you many things.Health.What he meaneth I cannot tell,C2,r.But his saying is not well.Depart hence, sirs! by my counsel,And tarry us at our lodging.Wit.Now and it please ye, will ye hear any singing?Therein, I tell you, I am somewhat conning;Ye shall hear and ye list.Lib.Sir! I pray you sing and ye can.Ill-W.Now will I begin like a lusty blood than.
Wealth.Sirs! you will have both God's blessing;So are ye worth for your praying;Ye are well disposed, and of good living—I will love you the better alway.
Ill-W.Sir! this do we use every day;For Wealth, Health, and Liberty to pray.This same is my brother to you I [say]:He is an hard honest man!
Wit.Forsooth, master! I am his brother;To be your servant was my coming hither;As long as we could be togetherYe shall not perish than.
Health.To have you both to service I am content.C1,v.How say you, Liberty? will you thereto consent?Will and Wit God hath us lent:We may be glad of them.
Lib.If we should refuse Will and WitWe were to blame; for they be fit.Therefore, by my will they shall not flit:They be welcome to me.
Ill-W.God thank you, masters, all three!Ye shall find us poor, but true we cannot be—My tongue stumbles, I cry you mercy!—We will be true, I should say.
Wealth.Sirs, go your way home, unto one place!And we will hie us after a-pace;And when we come, we shall set you in caseTo have a living alway.
Health.Then look ye do both truly and just;For we must put you in great trust;All our household guide ye must:Behave you[r]self well.
Wit.Masters, fear not! for I have wit enoughTo beguile myself, and to beguile you;I have beguiled many one, I may say to you:I pray you keep that in counsel.
Lib.Beware of that! what doth he say?Beguile us all? yet I charge thee, Nay!Ye shall not beguile us: if I may,I will beware betime.
Ill-W.Sir, be not angry! I you pray;The fool wotteth not he doth say;He meaneth that he will be profitable alway,And save you many things.
Health.What he meaneth I cannot tell,C2,r.But his saying is not well.Depart hence, sirs! by my counsel,And tarry us at our lodging.
Wit.Now and it please ye, will ye hear any singing?Therein, I tell you, I am somewhat conning;Ye shall hear and ye list.
Lib.Sir! I pray you sing and ye can.
Ill-W.Now will I begin like a lusty blood than.
[They sing and go out.
[Health.] Sirs! now go your way, of you I am gladAs of any servants that ever I had;For these can do both good and bad:We must needs have such men.What were we if we lacked Will?And without Wit we should live ill;Therefore, Will and Wit I will keep still:I promise you I love them.
[Health.] Sirs! now go your way, of you I am gladAs of any servants that ever I had;For these can do both good and bad:We must needs have such men.What were we if we lacked Will?And without Wit we should live ill;Therefore, Will and Wit I will keep still:I promise you I love them.
[Here comethRemedyin and to him saith—
Wealth.Sir! your mastership is heartily welcome;Take your place here above, as it is reason.Health.I pray you pardon us, we know not what ye be;Ye seem a man of honour and of great authority.Lib.Sir! to know wherefore ye come we are desirous.Remedy.I am he that ought for to be well knownOf you three specially; and of dutyGreat pain and business, as for mine own,For you I have taken because I love you heartily;To maintain you is all my desire and faculty;Yet hard it is to do, the people be so variable;And many be so wilful: they will not be reformable.Wealth.Sir! I pray you pardon us of our ignorance now;I see well ye know us better than we do you.Rem.I pardon you for I do know you well, both;C2,v.Wealth and Health is your right names:The which England to forbear were very loth.For by Wealth and Health cometh great fames;Many other realms, for our great wealth, shamesThat they dare not presume, nor they dare not be boldTo strive again England, or any right withhold.Health.Sir! ye be welcome; I beseech you show us your name.Rem.Good Remedy, forsooth! I am the same.Lib.If I durst be so bold I would pray you heartilyTo show us a part of your great authority.Rem.My authority is given to me, most special,To maintain you three in this realm to be:What mine intent is I will tell, but not all,For that were too long to rehearse, of a surety;And I desire you all for to be loving to me,For your own ease, come wealth and profit.Wealth.Good Remedy! then we must desire your aiding;For by Good Remedy cometh all our preferring.Rem.All that I do intend, if ye will thereto agree,And to be reformable for your own ease,It is not the thing that lieth only in me.But my good will, therefore, I will not cease,To have your love and favour; and thereby to pleaseAll the world over, and to promote this realm;That you three may prosper—ye perceive what I mean?The chief part of all wealth lieth in great estates:Their substance and lands is right commendable.Prelates of the church is wealthy of riches;Merchants hath merchandise and goods incomparable,Men of law and franklins is wealthy, which is laudable:Thus wealth of riches is divided diverse ways;C3,r.And to these many charges come now-a-days.Health.My heart rejoiceth to hear your good reporting;Much are we bound to God which provideth all thing.Rem.Forsooth! here is not half that I could rehearseThe benefits of God that He showeth to you, Wealth.Consider Englishmen, how valiant they be and fierce;Of none nations none such when they have their health;No land can do us harm but with falsehood or stealth.Remember what number of men, or artillery, and good ordinance;Specially the grace of God which is our chief furtherance.If there be any that will grudge, surmise, or doAgain Wealth, Health, and Liberty, then must I, for the same,Show mine authority and power, for to remedy it, soThat none of you shall diminish, nor amiss be tane.I, Good Remedy, therefore, may and will speak without blaneFor the commonwealth, and health both of the soul and body:That is my office and power; and therefore I have my authority.Wealth.Our Lord continue ye, and we thank you heartilyBoth for your good instruction, and for your kindnessThat you intend so well for us, Good Remedy.When we have need, we will desire your goodness.Health.When we be infect in the soul or body,Then will I seek Good Remedy for succour.As yet, I thank God, I have no need greatly;If I have, then will I seek to have your favour.Lib.Sir! now we will depart hence, with your license,For other divers business that we must have together.Rem.Sirs! I am content; now, when ye will depart,To God I commit you; I will not make you tarry.But yet, I pray with all my mind and heart,Take heed! in any wise eschew ill and shrewd company.If a man be never so ...[original is illegible]C3,v.He shall lose his name, and to some vice they will him tempt;Therefore beware of such people, and from them be exempt.Health.Yes, yes, I warrant you! of such I will beware—Farewell, Good Remedy, and well to fare!
Wealth.Sir! your mastership is heartily welcome;Take your place here above, as it is reason.
Health.I pray you pardon us, we know not what ye be;Ye seem a man of honour and of great authority.
Lib.Sir! to know wherefore ye come we are desirous.
Remedy.I am he that ought for to be well knownOf you three specially; and of dutyGreat pain and business, as for mine own,For you I have taken because I love you heartily;To maintain you is all my desire and faculty;Yet hard it is to do, the people be so variable;And many be so wilful: they will not be reformable.
Wealth.Sir! I pray you pardon us of our ignorance now;I see well ye know us better than we do you.
Rem.I pardon you for I do know you well, both;C2,v.Wealth and Health is your right names:The which England to forbear were very loth.For by Wealth and Health cometh great fames;Many other realms, for our great wealth, shamesThat they dare not presume, nor they dare not be boldTo strive again England, or any right withhold.
Health.Sir! ye be welcome; I beseech you show us your name.
Rem.Good Remedy, forsooth! I am the same.
Lib.If I durst be so bold I would pray you heartilyTo show us a part of your great authority.
Rem.My authority is given to me, most special,To maintain you three in this realm to be:What mine intent is I will tell, but not all,For that were too long to rehearse, of a surety;And I desire you all for to be loving to me,For your own ease, come wealth and profit.
Wealth.Good Remedy! then we must desire your aiding;For by Good Remedy cometh all our preferring.
Rem.All that I do intend, if ye will thereto agree,And to be reformable for your own ease,It is not the thing that lieth only in me.But my good will, therefore, I will not cease,To have your love and favour; and thereby to pleaseAll the world over, and to promote this realm;That you three may prosper—ye perceive what I mean?The chief part of all wealth lieth in great estates:Their substance and lands is right commendable.Prelates of the church is wealthy of riches;Merchants hath merchandise and goods incomparable,Men of law and franklins is wealthy, which is laudable:Thus wealth of riches is divided diverse ways;C3,r.And to these many charges come now-a-days.
Health.My heart rejoiceth to hear your good reporting;Much are we bound to God which provideth all thing.
Rem.Forsooth! here is not half that I could rehearseThe benefits of God that He showeth to you, Wealth.Consider Englishmen, how valiant they be and fierce;Of none nations none such when they have their health;No land can do us harm but with falsehood or stealth.Remember what number of men, or artillery, and good ordinance;Specially the grace of God which is our chief furtherance.If there be any that will grudge, surmise, or doAgain Wealth, Health, and Liberty, then must I, for the same,Show mine authority and power, for to remedy it, soThat none of you shall diminish, nor amiss be tane.I, Good Remedy, therefore, may and will speak without blaneFor the commonwealth, and health both of the soul and body:That is my office and power; and therefore I have my authority.
Wealth.Our Lord continue ye, and we thank you heartilyBoth for your good instruction, and for your kindnessThat you intend so well for us, Good Remedy.When we have need, we will desire your goodness.
Health.When we be infect in the soul or body,Then will I seek Good Remedy for succour.As yet, I thank God, I have no need greatly;If I have, then will I seek to have your favour.
Lib.Sir! now we will depart hence, with your license,For other divers business that we must have together.
Rem.Sirs! I am content; now, when ye will depart,To God I commit you; I will not make you tarry.But yet, I pray with all my mind and heart,Take heed! in any wise eschew ill and shrewd company.If a man be never so ...[original is illegible]C3,v.He shall lose his name, and to some vice they will him tempt;Therefore beware of such people, and from them be exempt.
Health.Yes, yes, I warrant you! of such I will beware—Farewell, Good Remedy, and well to fare!
[And goeth out.
Rem.I pray God be your speed, and preserve you from pain!It is my mind ye should prosper; I would have it so, fain.
Rem.I pray God be your speed, and preserve you from pain!It is my mind ye should prosper; I would have it so, fain.
[Ill-Willand]Witreturneth.
Ill-W.Here is none of our acquaintance:We have made too long tarriance—That will ye say, perchance;And they be gone home, come away apace.Wit.Nay, by God! not so hasty;A little while we will tarry.Good even, sir, to you, marry!Dwell ye in this place?Rem.Nay, good fellow! I dwell not here:Wherefore dost thou that inquire?Holdest thou aught with any here?Speak! be not afraid!Ill-W.By God! I would I had your gown,And were a mile without the town;Thereon I would borrow a crown,It is I that so said.Wit.How, lookest thou on him half a-scorn?I promise you he is a scant gentleman born:What sayest thou in his face?Rem.For somewhat in his face I look;Indeed, his mastership stands a-crook:For false shrews both of you I took,And children that be past grace.Ill-W.I will swear for him, as for these years twenty,That he hath been ever as true as I;Yet sometime he will steal and make a lie.C4,r.He is of my alliance.Rem.In good faith, the same think I,That ye be both like, full unthrifty.Sirs! how do ye live? show me quickly,Or I shall put you in durance.Wit.How live we? marry, our meat!Comest thou hither for to threat?So lordly sir Wittam doth speak!From whence doth he come—can ye show?Ill-W.What dost thou ail? Canst thou tell?Hast thou anything with us to mell?By the mass! thy hands doth tickle—Thou shalt bear me a blow.Rem.You false thieves! I know ye well:I shall let your purpose every deal,Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, the devil of hellTake ye both, for me!Wit.Marry, thou liest! our names be not so:Call us but Wit and Will—add no more thereto.If thou dost, thou were as good knowWe shall handle you shrewdly.Rem.Sirs, farewell! here I will no longer abide:For you both, shortly, I will provideThat all your false craft shall be outtried,And your subtilty known.[And goeth out.Wit.To go so soon, the whoreson was wise;Therefore some now I must deviseThat each man may Wealth, Health, and Liberty despise;Or else he will mar all our matter.Brother wat! let me alone:When they come you shall see me anon;Complain of him unto them, each one,C4,v.And put him out of favour.Ill-W.Peace! no mo words, for they come yonder.
Ill-W.Here is none of our acquaintance:We have made too long tarriance—That will ye say, perchance;And they be gone home, come away apace.
Wit.Nay, by God! not so hasty;A little while we will tarry.Good even, sir, to you, marry!Dwell ye in this place?
Rem.Nay, good fellow! I dwell not here:Wherefore dost thou that inquire?Holdest thou aught with any here?Speak! be not afraid!
Ill-W.By God! I would I had your gown,And were a mile without the town;Thereon I would borrow a crown,It is I that so said.
Wit.How, lookest thou on him half a-scorn?I promise you he is a scant gentleman born:What sayest thou in his face?
Rem.For somewhat in his face I look;Indeed, his mastership stands a-crook:For false shrews both of you I took,And children that be past grace.
Ill-W.I will swear for him, as for these years twenty,That he hath been ever as true as I;Yet sometime he will steal and make a lie.C4,r.He is of my alliance.
Rem.In good faith, the same think I,That ye be both like, full unthrifty.Sirs! how do ye live? show me quickly,Or I shall put you in durance.
Wit.How live we? marry, our meat!Comest thou hither for to threat?So lordly sir Wittam doth speak!From whence doth he come—can ye show?
Ill-W.What dost thou ail? Canst thou tell?Hast thou anything with us to mell?By the mass! thy hands doth tickle—Thou shalt bear me a blow.
Rem.You false thieves! I know ye well:I shall let your purpose every deal,Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, the devil of hellTake ye both, for me!
Wit.Marry, thou liest! our names be not so:Call us but Wit and Will—add no more thereto.If thou dost, thou were as good knowWe shall handle you shrewdly.
Rem.Sirs, farewell! here I will no longer abide:For you both, shortly, I will provideThat all your false craft shall be outtried,And your subtilty known.[And goeth out.
Wit.To go so soon, the whoreson was wise;Therefore some now I must deviseThat each man may Wealth, Health, and Liberty despise;Or else he will mar all our matter.Brother wat! let me alone:When they come you shall see me anon;Complain of him unto them, each one,C4,v.And put him out of favour.
Ill-W.Peace! no mo words, for they come yonder.
[Wealth, Health,andLibertycometh in.]
Wealth.Sirs! I am glad that you be here.How doth all our household? with them what cheer?Is everything in order there,After our intent?Ill-W.Yea, Sir! they be all merry and glad;With revel and rout sometime they be mad—Pipe whore, hop thief, every knave and drabIs at our commandment.
Wealth.Sirs! I am glad that you be here.How doth all our household? with them what cheer?Is everything in order there,After our intent?
Ill-W.Yea, Sir! they be all merry and glad;With revel and rout sometime they be mad—Pipe whore, hop thief, every knave and drabIs at our commandment.
[Healthturneth him.
Health.What do ye say? then ye are to blame,And we put you in trust for the same;To keep such rule, it is a shame;It is not for our honour.Wit.By the mass! the whoreson doth lie;There is no such rule, by God's body!A man may break his neck as lightlyAs his fast in your kitchen or cellar, truly!
Health.What do ye say? then ye are to blame,And we put you in trust for the same;To keep such rule, it is a shame;It is not for our honour.
Wit.By the mass! the whoreson doth lie;There is no such rule, by God's body!A man may break his neck as lightlyAs his fast in your kitchen or cellar, truly!
[Libertyturneth him.
Lib.With that neither I am not content;I would there should be liberality competent;And, with honesty, it is convenientThat our neighbour fare the better.Ill-W.You be angry with all that we have done?Come away, brother! let us go hence soon;I know a new master where we shall be welcome.God be with you, gentle master!Wealth.Why, will ye be gone for a word?Peradventure, we did but bord;Methink ye should your master fordFor to speak my mind.D1,r.Wit.Nay, nay! I can tell what was the matter:Remedy was here, and he did flatter;Ye trust he more than us, and better;But, mark the end! what ye shall find.Health.With Good Remedy we spake, indeed;To follow his counsel we had need.He warned us that we should take heedOf excess and prodigality.Wit.I marvel ye speak so of Good Remedy:It is I that can do more than he.Wit can make shift at necessityWhen Remedy cannot be heard.I know some that hath, this thousand year,Sought Good Remedy, and yet never the near;Wit can put Remedy by, yea, this is clear;For Wit is a crafty lad.Ill-W.And Will is an ungracious stay;Will hath done many things men say;And if ye let Wit and Will go his way,Ye will repent it soon.Lib.Why, what cause have you to go your way?Ye shall abide with us, though you say, Nay;I will follow Will and Wit alway;And so I have ever done.Wit.If I wist all my masters would so do,Then from your service I would not go;Speak now! whether ye will or no,And let us know your mind.Health.Sirs! ye be welcome to me, plain;And for your company I am full fain;I had liever suffer great painThan to leave my Wit and Will.Ill-W.Then, let us go hence; with kindness my heart do kill.D1,v.Health.I pray you, let us go; wherefore do we bide still?
Lib.With that neither I am not content;I would there should be liberality competent;And, with honesty, it is convenientThat our neighbour fare the better.
Ill-W.You be angry with all that we have done?Come away, brother! let us go hence soon;I know a new master where we shall be welcome.God be with you, gentle master!
Wealth.Why, will ye be gone for a word?Peradventure, we did but bord;Methink ye should your master fordFor to speak my mind.D1,r.
Wit.Nay, nay! I can tell what was the matter:Remedy was here, and he did flatter;Ye trust he more than us, and better;But, mark the end! what ye shall find.
Health.With Good Remedy we spake, indeed;To follow his counsel we had need.He warned us that we should take heedOf excess and prodigality.
Wit.I marvel ye speak so of Good Remedy:It is I that can do more than he.Wit can make shift at necessityWhen Remedy cannot be heard.I know some that hath, this thousand year,Sought Good Remedy, and yet never the near;Wit can put Remedy by, yea, this is clear;For Wit is a crafty lad.
Ill-W.And Will is an ungracious stay;Will hath done many things men say;And if ye let Wit and Will go his way,Ye will repent it soon.
Lib.Why, what cause have you to go your way?Ye shall abide with us, though you say, Nay;I will follow Will and Wit alway;And so I have ever done.
Wit.If I wist all my masters would so do,Then from your service I would not go;Speak now! whether ye will or no,And let us know your mind.
Health.Sirs! ye be welcome to me, plain;And for your company I am full fain;I had liever suffer great painThan to leave my Wit and Will.
Ill-W.Then, let us go hence; with kindness my heart do kill.D1,v.
Health.I pray you, let us go; wherefore do we bide still?
[And goeth out. [Remedycometh in.
Rem.As touching my first purpose, hither I am come again.I trow ye know me; Good Remedy is my name;That every day doth take great labour or painTo amend all faults: I am chosen to the same.If any man's conscience here doth grudge or shame,Having in himself remorse, and mends in time and space,I am Good Remedy, and God is full of mercy and grace.Therefore I will stand aside, and a little while remain,Of Wealth, Health, and Liberty for to inquireHow they be ordered; and if any man complainI will be glad to show my remedy—methink I see one appear!
Rem.As touching my first purpose, hither I am come again.I trow ye know me; Good Remedy is my name;That every day doth take great labour or painTo amend all faults: I am chosen to the same.If any man's conscience here doth grudge or shame,Having in himself remorse, and mends in time and space,I am Good Remedy, and God is full of mercy and grace.Therefore I will stand aside, and a little while remain,Of Wealth, Health, and Liberty for to inquireHow they be ordered; and if any man complainI will be glad to show my remedy—methink I see one appear!
[Hancecometh in.
Hance.Be Got's drowse! ic myself bin cumpt heye scon lansman;Ic mot in ander land lopen, all is quade dan.Rem.Thou Fleming! from whence comest thou, and what dost thou here?Hance.Ic myself cumt from sent Katryn's doxe, mot ic skyne de can beer.Rem.Get thee thither again, and tarry here no longer!Hance.Sir! ic mot mid ye spreken; ic myself be en scomaker.Rem.What and thou be? therewith I have nothing ado.Hance.Ic dest al forlore; copin is dod, ic maght not do thereto.Rem.I pray thee, go hence, for thou dost trouble me ill.Hance.Nen ic seker, ic wil not gon, ic wold fain live hore stil.Rem.There is too many aliants in this realm; but now I,Good Remedy, have so provided that Englishmen shall live the better daily.Hance.What segt ye? by Got's drowse! dai is de quade man;Be de moro goi, ic myself love de scone Englishman.Rem.Fie on thee, flattering knave! fie on you aliants all, I say!Ye can, with craft and subtle figure, Englishmen's wealth away.Hance.O, skon mester! ic heb hore bin this darten yeore.Ic can skote de culverin, and ic can be de beare broer.
Hance.Be Got's drowse! ic myself bin cumpt heye scon lansman;Ic mot in ander land lopen, all is quade dan.
Rem.Thou Fleming! from whence comest thou, and what dost thou here?
Hance.Ic myself cumt from sent Katryn's doxe, mot ic skyne de can beer.
Rem.Get thee thither again, and tarry here no longer!
Hance.Sir! ic mot mid ye spreken; ic myself be en scomaker.
Rem.What and thou be? therewith I have nothing ado.
Hance.Ic dest al forlore; copin is dod, ic maght not do thereto.
Rem.I pray thee, go hence, for thou dost trouble me ill.
Hance.Nen ic seker, ic wil not gon, ic wold fain live hore stil.
Rem.There is too many aliants in this realm; but now I,Good Remedy, have so provided that Englishmen shall live the better daily.
Hance.What segt ye? by Got's drowse! dai is de quade man;Be de moro goi, ic myself love de scone Englishman.
Rem.Fie on thee, flattering knave! fie on you aliants all, I say!Ye can, with craft and subtle figure, Englishmen's wealth away.
Hance.O, skon mester! ic heb hore bin this darten yeore.Ic can skote de culverin, and ic can be de beare broer.
[A line (or lines) apparently missing here.
[Rem.] Trust see so provide that Wealth from you have I shall.D2,r.Hance.Ic seg to you dat Wealth is lopen in an ander contry;Wat hebegy dar brough forstan ye net, segt me.Rem.I understand thee well; yet, thou liest, like a knave.Wealth is here in England, and Wealth still I trust we shall have.Hance.Ic ment no quad, ic love de English man, by min bere!Cump by sent Katrin, and ic shal ye geven twe stope bere.Rem.Get thee hence, drunken Fleming! thou shalt tarry no longer here.Hance.Mot it net mare herebin woder sal ic gewest kiskin;Ic wil to de kaizer gan, dar sall ic wal skinkin.
[Rem.] Trust see so provide that Wealth from you have I shall.D2,r.
Hance.Ic seg to you dat Wealth is lopen in an ander contry;Wat hebegy dar brough forstan ye net, segt me.
Rem.I understand thee well; yet, thou liest, like a knave.Wealth is here in England, and Wealth still I trust we shall have.
Hance.Ic ment no quad, ic love de English man, by min bere!Cump by sent Katrin, and ic shal ye geven twe stope bere.
Rem.Get thee hence, drunken Fleming! thou shalt tarry no longer here.
Hance.Mot it net mare herebin woder sal ic gewest kiskin;Ic wil to de kaizer gan, dar sall ic wal skinkin.
[And goeth.
Rem.Is he gone? I pray God the devil go with him!Where is Wealth, Health, and Liberty? I would see them come in.
Rem.Is he gone? I pray God the devil go with him!Where is Wealth, Health, and Liberty? I would see them come in.
[Healthcometh in with a kercher on his head.
Health.O, good Lord, help me! by your license, my Sovereign!I am homely to come here in your presence, thus diseased.Need constraineth me, for Remedy I would have fain;I am infect, both body and soul, I pray you be not displeased.Rem.Why, what ail you? show me! yet, you I do not know;Glad I am to remedy any man that is affirmity;I perceive by your phisn'amy that ye are very weak, feeble, and low;Yet show me your grief, and I will help you gladly.Health.Gracious Remedy! I thank you; yet I am half ashamedTo show you my malady and my name—I was called Health;Therefore, I am well worthy to be punished and blamedBecause I have not followed your counsel, but all thing may be suffered save Wealth.Rem.Are you Health? this maketh me very pensive and sad:Yet be of good cheer, and show how you were infect;To remedy you and succour you, I would be very glad;For God will punish the people when they be detect.Health.Sir! I thank God therof; for well worthy I am,My conscience doth judge; some trouble have I must;Amends I will make to God, and if I can.Wit and Will hath deceived me: in them I put my trust.D2,v.Rem.If thou have done amiss and be sorry therefore,Then half amends is made, for that is contrition.Let that pass! now will I axe you one thing more:Where be Wealth and Liberty? be they of good disposition?Health.As for Wealth [he] is fallen in decay and necessityBy waste and war, through Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit;And Liberty is kept in durance and captivity.God help us all, and send us good remedy for it!Rem.For to hear this tale, it maketh my heart heavy;Yet, be of good comfort! God is full of grace, and I am good.Health.Sir! then I beseech you, help us in the way of charity!Rem.I would fain, but I cannot tell which way to begin,Except I might catch Will and Wit; then, I trow, I couldTie them shorter; for they destroy Wealth, Health, and Liberty by sin.If I had the thieves, punish them extremely I would.Health.You may soon catch them if ye will stand aside;From this place they two will not long abide.Rem.Methinketh I hear them come; help to hold them fast.
Health.O, good Lord, help me! by your license, my Sovereign!I am homely to come here in your presence, thus diseased.Need constraineth me, for Remedy I would have fain;I am infect, both body and soul, I pray you be not displeased.
Rem.Why, what ail you? show me! yet, you I do not know;Glad I am to remedy any man that is affirmity;I perceive by your phisn'amy that ye are very weak, feeble, and low;Yet show me your grief, and I will help you gladly.
Health.Gracious Remedy! I thank you; yet I am half ashamedTo show you my malady and my name—I was called Health;Therefore, I am well worthy to be punished and blamedBecause I have not followed your counsel, but all thing may be suffered save Wealth.
Rem.Are you Health? this maketh me very pensive and sad:Yet be of good cheer, and show how you were infect;To remedy you and succour you, I would be very glad;For God will punish the people when they be detect.
Health.Sir! I thank God therof; for well worthy I am,My conscience doth judge; some trouble have I must;Amends I will make to God, and if I can.Wit and Will hath deceived me: in them I put my trust.D2,v.
Rem.If thou have done amiss and be sorry therefore,Then half amends is made, for that is contrition.Let that pass! now will I axe you one thing more:Where be Wealth and Liberty? be they of good disposition?
Health.As for Wealth [he] is fallen in decay and necessityBy waste and war, through Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit;And Liberty is kept in durance and captivity.God help us all, and send us good remedy for it!
Rem.For to hear this tale, it maketh my heart heavy;Yet, be of good comfort! God is full of grace, and I am good.
Health.Sir! then I beseech you, help us in the way of charity!
Rem.I would fain, but I cannot tell which way to begin,Except I might catch Will and Wit; then, I trow, I couldTie them shorter; for they destroy Wealth, Health, and Liberty by sin.If I had the thieves, punish them extremely I would.
Health.You may soon catch them if ye will stand aside;From this place they two will not long abide.
Rem.Methinketh I hear them come; help to hold them fast.
[Ill-willturneth.
Ill-W.Come in, Wit! for here is nobody;We may be bold, and talk largelyOur hearts to ease, and show plainlyWhat we have done.[Shrewd Witcomes in.Wit.I must needs laugh, I cannot forbearTo remember War, that knave! Will ye hear?The whoreson Fleming was beshitten for fear,Because he should void so soon.Ill-W.Hark! now do I marvel, by this bread!For I ween, surely, that Health be dead!I saw him go with a kercher on his head,As he should go to hanging.Wit.Hark, in thine ear!—if the whoreson hapTo complain to him that wears the red cap,I fear then shortly he will us clapD3,r.By the heels from our living.Ill-W.Nay, nay! there is no doubt;By him I have reported, all about,That he doth not well his good name to put out:Ill-Will cannot say well.Rem.Friend! therein thou art the more to blame,To slander me wrongfully and undeserved;But, or thou depart thou shalt answer for the same.Where is Wealth and Liberty? how hast thou them ordered?Ill-W.Qury cisis quest is un malt ombre;Me is un Spyanardo compoco parlavere.Health.Thou false thief! is thine English tongue gone?As mischievous Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit ye have destroyed many one.Wit.Sir! hurt not me, and I will tell you truth, anon:This same is as false a knave as ever came within Saint John's.Ill-W.Per amor de my as pica un pocoEo queris andar pour lagtaunt creae so.Rem.I cannot tell what thou dost mean, babbler!But thou shall speak English, and confess another matter.Health.Sir! I beseech your lordship, in the way of charity,Let not these thieves escape your hands: they have destroyed us utterly.Wit.Sir! believe him not! he speaks but of malice only.We be true men; thereof we shall fetch good witness,An honest man that shall be bound for him and me.The law saith plain:Nulla fides contra testes.Rem.That is truth; but who will be witness or bound for thee?Ill-W.There is three among you in this house.Wit.I will go to fetch them quickly.Rem.They will come unsend for, I warrant you, if they wist.What be their names? tell me what they be!Ill-W.That one is John Irische and John Sholer:But full these be honest men, all three.D3,v.Health.Trust not their words! they will dissemble still;They are so false and crafty, all their intent is ill.Ill-W.Ye lie falsely! I speak but right and reason;And by the law of arms, ye must needs be tane.You are called Good Remedy which, at all season,Should lean to man's life, and maintain the same.We be here both your prisoners, wrongfully accused by defame:Keep one of us fast; let him lie for all;That other for friends and witness go shall.Wit.Sir! let him not go, and leave me behind;He will ever be a false knave, for I know his mind.Ill-W.Hold thy tongue, foolish knave! I do not mean so.Rem.I hear now ye cannot agree which of you should go.Ill-W.No, by God's body! there shall none go but I.Wit.Thou playest the knave! it must needs be I!Health.Keep them safe, I pray you; for if they scape againMany men shall repent it: it shall be to our pain.Rem.They be here yet; to keep them fast is mine intent.Have them away, both to prison, incontinent!Ill-W.Lo, false knave! this is for thy crafty wit;Now fast by the heels we are like to sit.Wit.I am content so that I may have company;If I should be hanged I would be hanged honest.
Ill-W.Come in, Wit! for here is nobody;We may be bold, and talk largelyOur hearts to ease, and show plainlyWhat we have done.[Shrewd Witcomes in.
Wit.I must needs laugh, I cannot forbearTo remember War, that knave! Will ye hear?The whoreson Fleming was beshitten for fear,Because he should void so soon.
Ill-W.Hark! now do I marvel, by this bread!For I ween, surely, that Health be dead!I saw him go with a kercher on his head,As he should go to hanging.
Wit.Hark, in thine ear!—if the whoreson hapTo complain to him that wears the red cap,I fear then shortly he will us clapD3,r.By the heels from our living.
Ill-W.Nay, nay! there is no doubt;By him I have reported, all about,That he doth not well his good name to put out:Ill-Will cannot say well.
Rem.Friend! therein thou art the more to blame,To slander me wrongfully and undeserved;But, or thou depart thou shalt answer for the same.Where is Wealth and Liberty? how hast thou them ordered?
Ill-W.Qury cisis quest is un malt ombre;Me is un Spyanardo compoco parlavere.
Health.Thou false thief! is thine English tongue gone?As mischievous Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit ye have destroyed many one.
Wit.Sir! hurt not me, and I will tell you truth, anon:This same is as false a knave as ever came within Saint John's.
Ill-W.Per amor de my as pica un pocoEo queris andar pour lagtaunt creae so.
Rem.I cannot tell what thou dost mean, babbler!But thou shall speak English, and confess another matter.
Health.Sir! I beseech your lordship, in the way of charity,Let not these thieves escape your hands: they have destroyed us utterly.
Wit.Sir! believe him not! he speaks but of malice only.We be true men; thereof we shall fetch good witness,An honest man that shall be bound for him and me.The law saith plain:Nulla fides contra testes.
Rem.That is truth; but who will be witness or bound for thee?
Ill-W.There is three among you in this house.
Wit.I will go to fetch them quickly.
Rem.They will come unsend for, I warrant you, if they wist.What be their names? tell me what they be!
Ill-W.That one is John Irische and John Sholer:But full these be honest men, all three.D3,v.
Health.Trust not their words! they will dissemble still;They are so false and crafty, all their intent is ill.
Ill-W.Ye lie falsely! I speak but right and reason;And by the law of arms, ye must needs be tane.You are called Good Remedy which, at all season,Should lean to man's life, and maintain the same.We be here both your prisoners, wrongfully accused by defame:Keep one of us fast; let him lie for all;That other for friends and witness go shall.
Wit.Sir! let him not go, and leave me behind;He will ever be a false knave, for I know his mind.
Ill-W.Hold thy tongue, foolish knave! I do not mean so.
Rem.I hear now ye cannot agree which of you should go.
Ill-W.No, by God's body! there shall none go but I.
Wit.Thou playest the knave! it must needs be I!
Health.Keep them safe, I pray you; for if they scape againMany men shall repent it: it shall be to our pain.
Rem.They be here yet; to keep them fast is mine intent.Have them away, both to prison, incontinent!
Ill-W.Lo, false knave! this is for thy crafty wit;Now fast by the heels we are like to sit.
Wit.I am content so that I may have company;If I should be hanged I would be hanged honest.
[And goeth out.